147. He Promises a Future, But Gives You Crumbs

WARNING: This episode contains natural bird songs, twigs breaking & leaves crushing underfoot, the occasional breathlessnes and the distant sound of kids playing in a park 😊 

Love Wisely is starting again soon! If you have been waiting for your chance to join me for the next 3-month journey to rewrite you Love Template, sign up below!. 

What does it really mean for someone to be available for a relationship?

In this walking episode, I explore one of the most painful forms of emotional unavailability: becoming attached to someone who is still entangled with another woman.

Perhaps he says the marriage is over.

Perhaps they still live together “for the children.”

Perhaps he promises that once the separation, divorce or living arrangements are resolved, the two of you can finally have a proper relationship.

Meanwhile, you are left waiting, hoping and accepting small pieces of connection from someone who is not genuinely free to build a life with you.

In this episode, I discuss:

• The difference between being separated and being truly available
• How promises about the future can keep you emotionally invested
• Why intermittent attention and small acts of care can feel so powerful
• The role of abandonment and emotional deprivation schemas
• Why an unavailable person can sometimes feel safer than a real relationship
• How implicit recognition draws us towards familiar emotional dynamics
• Why being given crumbs can slowly erode your self-worth
• The importance of choosing someone who is emotionally and practically free

I also share a personal experience of becoming emotionally attached to a married and unavailable man, and what that experience helped me understand about my own schemas.

If you are waiting for someone’s circumstances to change before they can fully choose you, this episode is an invitation to step back and look honestly at what is being offered to you now.

You deserve more than promises, fragments of attention and a place at the edge of someone else’s life.

Love Wisely

If you have a recurring pattern of becoming attached to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, my Love Wisely group coaching experience begins in September.

Inside the program, I guide a small group of women through the process of understanding and intentionally rewriting the unconscious Love Template that has shaped their relationship choices.

Join the Love Wisely priority list through the link in the show notes.