From Overwhelm to Presence

In this episode of Pearls of Wisdom, I explore how to remain present when life feels overwhelmingly busy.

Most of us experience periods where there seems to be too much to do, too many responsibilities, and too many demands on our time and energy. During these times, it is easy to become caught up in stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.

But what if stress is not caused by the situation itself, but by our response to it!

Drawing on both practical tools and inner awareness practices, I explore how we can navigate busy periods with greater ease, clarity, and presence.

In this episode, I reflect on:

• Why stress is often our response rather than the situation itself
• The importance of taking the next step rather than trying to solve everything at once
• How the breath can anchor us in the present moment
• The role of mantras and simple awareness practices
• The power of healthy boundaries and learning to say "no"
• Exploring the deeper patterns that make saying "yes" feel necessary
• Moving from overwhelm to conscious choice

Life may not always slow down, but we can learn to meet it differently.

Because peace is not found when everything is completed.

Peace is found in this moment.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The more we are conscious, the more we are aware in any single moment, then we're going to be aware in the dialogues with people. We're going to be aware when somebody says, Can you do a thing? Can I have an appointment? Can you do this? Before we say yes, we'll get practised at pressing an internal pause button. Pearls of Wisdom to change. Welcome to another episode of Pearls of Wisdom. It's wonderful to be here again today, and I'm going to investigate how we are able to stay at ease and centered when there's too much to do. And I think we we're living in a world where there's often too much to do, and there's a lot of feelings of overwhelm, stress, anxiety in response to that. Now, as we know, as I've said before, ultimately stress is our response to a situation rather than the situation. But that doesn't mean that when you've got a list of things to do and it all feels too much, that that is such an easy thing to organise. So I recognize that this week I have too much to do, and yet I am practiced at staying centered. I'm practiced at doing the next thing, doing the next thing, doing the next thing. And I thought it would be perfect opportunity to investigate it as it's happening and speak with you and show up anyway, because a lot of in a lot of when we've got too much to do is just doing the next thing and showing up and being there and doing it and doing the next thing and doing the next thing. And in some ways, I haven't got time to do a podcast this week. However, it's a commitment, it's something I'm enjoying being consistent at. I have a relationship with you who all are listening, and it's a regular, a regular weekly thing. So it's part of what I want to show up for. Now, obviously, one of the ways when we've got too much to do to manage that is to start saying no to things. I've worked with many, many, many people who the issue often is they'll say yes to the thing without reflecting before they say yes. So that can be again part of staying centered because the more we are conscious, the more we are aware in any single moment, then we're going to be aware in the dialogues with people. We're going to be aware when somebody says, Can you do a thing? Can I have an appointment? Can you do this? Before we say yes, we'll get practiced at pressing an internal pause button because there'll be layers and layers. Because sometimes the saying yes is just a habit. Sometimes it's because you want to do the thing, there's enthusiasm, you want to expand and expand whatever it is even saying yes to, your career, your social life, your the fun in your life, the the expansion of your um you know talents. You might be wanting to say yes to another course, to another another um thing that develops you. It could be yes to work. Um, you it might be coming from all manner of things. This is where investigation on our inner journey and going backwards into our childhood patterns is really useful because we can see if we we felt we needed to say yes to win approval, to be the best in the class, to get approval from teachers, parents, all manner of um you know, situations where we wanted to feel good about ourselves. So, with some awareness of our patterns, it does make a difference. Sometimes we just say yes because we're enthusiastic. I um was talking with my running friends Rob and Jim yesterday, and Jim's doing a lot of sea swimming at the moment, and I'm not brilliant in cold water. And he'd said we'd planned for a run, and then he was going to go in the sea, and he we've got a little Eastbourne run group, which is the three of us, and he'd said, Shall we go running? No, not should we go running, we'll go swimming, I'll go for a dip. Rob had immediately said no, and I said, Oh, oh, exciting, sounds fun, but I don't really like swimming in cold water, and I can see its benefits and lots of people, it's a fabulous thing, but it's not really me. And we were talking about how I'd said I didn't completely commit, I said, Oh, I'll see. Anyway, in the morning when it was a bit cloudy and not 30-degree sun to get out into, and I knew that I wasn't going to do it, but I hadn't completely overcommitted, and something that I used to do was be enthusiastic in the moment. You're in the relationship with a person, you're with them, and they're saying, Let's do a thing, let's do this, let's do this, and you're you know, that can just be relationship and enthusiasm, and then you go, Oh, actually, that's you know, that's another thing I've overcommitted. I got very practiced when I was younger when I had overcommitted at having to say, I'm so sorry, I've overcommitted. So there is the bottom line of when we've got too much to do, can we pull back and see where we've overcommitted and you know start to streamline our life a little bit more? So that is a kind of overall picture, but in a just natural way of living where you know I I love my live life, I love living the way I do, I love all the work I do, I love all the running and gym and things that I enjoy. Seeing Anadi, my husband, sometimes my weeks get super, super, super full. And so this is a practice if we've just got a very, very busy life and we need to find ways to make sure we don't get into that stress state, start to get um short and snappy maybe with the people around us, stuff find we feel it's too much, all those feelings, they're not they're not fun, and there are ways to manage ourselves. So, number one, yes, staying super, super conscious, super aware all the time. And as I said last week in my podcast, coming back to the breath and often even having an alarm on your phone that reminds you every hour to take a conscious breath, take three conscious breaths, and by that I mean deep into the tummy, so that you really, really come back into the body. The body can only be here and now in the present, so you come back into the body, you breathe out, you do that three times, it takes such a small amount of time, and you're back and you're in your center, and you can bring yourself back instead of spinning out. Um, I think it is just doing the next thing and the next thing, maybe at the beginning of the day. Always it's very important the thoughts we think at the beginning of the day. So rather than thinking, oh my god, there's so much I can't don't know how I'm going to manage it, just you know, really recognize we're alive, we're alive, and gratefulness is the most vital energy for us, just to even be grateful for being alive, even if the day looks difficult, even if we've got big issues we've got to work out. Just we've we're here, we're here, and we've got opportunities, we've got opportunities to have an amazing day, we've got opportunities to work things out if we're having a difficult time. We have the opportunity, we've woken up, we're alive, we're here. And um, I read this great article by I'm so sorry, Ultrarunner, who wrote the article. I can't remember her name now, but she wrote a great article, and she has um a necklace which has a um skull and an hourglass and the words mement memento mori, which is prepare to die. I think that's what it is, but anyway, basically reminding us that we're alive and that we are going to die, but we're here. And I read her article, and she's an ultra-runner and she lives by this. She she will live every day absolutely recognizing she's alive, she's here, she's living her day. And there's um the Buddhists have a there's a practice they have where they have an imaginary bird on their shoulder saying, Um, is this my day? Am I ready? Because then we're more prepared to fully live. We don't want to be living in a state of stress or not being kind to the people around us or not or being not having time for them. And I think it's very, very important um to always have time for somebody, even if we need to say, Um, I'm so sorry, I'm I'm racing for a train, but it's lovely to see you, and you can you can still have space for that. So I always think the you know, instead of feeling you're overwhelmed, if well, the feeling of the anxiety, the wellm, the feeling is rising in your body, then that's a time for the breath, it's a time to come back to presence, it's a time for the mantras, the I am where I am. All is well, all is well, I am where I am. And it's also quite nice to chant, chant the om sound, just take a nice breath and just be going oh, and it vibrates through the body and brings you back to presence. It's often, from a practical perspective, just good to have a to-do list. I'm a great to-do list person, write it all down, but also recognise lists never end. I realised this years ago that my to-do list just goes on, but it's useful to prioritize what are the things that really, really need you to do today. Because if you if you are doing the things that you know are necessary at that point, and also just doing them, I think the putting things off is a very, very stressful thing indeed, and therefore, again, it's about just starting. There's huge, huge, huge um power in just starting a thing, just and fiddling about. I what I often do if I've got things to do is just do easy things or just open the computer and do something that's straightforward, and you know, you've begun then because I think it's the not beginning that can be very, you know, very, very difficult. It is keeping moving. My experience is just to keep moving. So, as I said, this is probably my only opportunity to record a podcast. So I just keep moving, and I will take things out. So today, because I had to do quite a bit of things before I recorded this, I took out my running today and I just did some exercises at home, which didn't take very long. So it is strategizing, and and if things seem really start to get out of balance and things are are leaving your life that you love doing, so if you find you continually not having time to go to the gym or the things that you enjoy, just to have those reassessment times, and yeah, really and truly, the the important things of looking after ourselves because we are this body is our vehicle, it is the thing that we're going through life in. So we need sleep, we need good food, we need water, we need to be calming our nervous system, so therefore, the breath is so important, the mantras are so important. There are there's ways to bring ourselves to presence, but it is a practice because the thing is, we if we get used to being out of balance, it's often a way that people can function because it's like all things, if you achieve something on a like what operating like a runaway train and it works, unfortunately, that can set a pattern, so therefore, there can be a backstory of this is what it takes to have something you know really go well, whereas it doesn't, it's we can come back again to presence. There was this my lovely, my lovely client who um listens to my podcast. I won't say her name because I haven't asked permission, but um she showed me this great meme that basically said um you know, you get you get paid whether you're stressed or not. And it was more for people at work because she and I are both self-employed, but you know, ultimately the day happens whether we're stressed or not. So, in in lots of ways, we need to make looking after ourselves the priority. We are the resource, so we need to make looking after our body a priority, looking after our mind a priority. So that's where bringing it back to presence, not letting our thoughts create drama and trauma and psychological loops in our being, because they can, you know, any of us could make ourselves feel upset or anxious if we started to think, um, you know, we can't do it, I don't know how I'm going to get this done. Whereas instead, if we think, you know, I'll find a way, I know there's a way, I'm not maybe not sure, but I'm just going to find a way. Now, sometimes we need help. I I do remember being counselled when I was much younger, I was around 30, by actually one of my very first clients. I started doing this work in this way. I was in health and fitness before, around 30-ish, and she was actually my very first client, and she's not here now, so um, she was amazing. She was older than me, 15 years older than me. And she did say to me, um, she was really encouraging because at the time I had two clients, her and another person, and was wondering whether I should look for a job, and because I just had those two for three months, and I just worked with them, and it was brilliant, wonderful. But I thought, should I be looking for a job? Because I was living on some savings and you know, all of that, and I was yeah, I was just living, you know, on um how you do at these times, and um she said, No, no, you're really good at this, you're really, really good at this. But she said, one thing I will say, she said, is you survive um things other people would have a nervous breakdown for, so just always remember that. And if you remember that, then you'll stay alongside them. And then the I was this was echoed by my supervisor in psychotherapy who said to me, I think it was when I was, yeah, it was, yeah, it was when I was training, and she said to me, Um, always stay on the shoulder and you'll be fine. She said, Because you are, you know, are very strong and you race up a mountain, make sure you don't, I mean, that was metaphorical, although I did race up mountains too. Um, she said, make sure that you don't race up ahead, make sure you're always on the shoulder of your clients and all will be well. And then you can kind of light the way, but you're not going to have them stumbling around trying to keep up. And those bits of advice very early on in my early 30s, I really um took heed of. And I recognized that um some people need um, you know, support in these journeys to learn how to cope with feeling everything's too much. That therefore I've been that person who's been able to hold someone's hand as they're traveling and just guide them and give them encouragement and give them some of the things I'm saying today, well, all the things I'm saying today, to essentially come back to consciousness, come back to awareness, come back to stillness, still in the mind, because obviously, you know, that's the most important thing, that stillness inside us. But I recognise that some people obviously need some support to do that. So if you feel there's too much going on and you need some guidance, then well, obviously, if there's podcasts like this, you can start to practice the things I'm suggesting because they do make a difference, or you can get someone just to journey with you in these times of difficulty. Um, but the essential thing is knowing that you have the resources within you, you are your resource, this strength is inside you. We have a flame of consciousness, we are all part of the divine, we've all got this spark of light inside us, and we can work to burn it brighter and brighter. And the way we'll do that is by these things, I've said essentially coming back to stillness, because the mind obviously, if it starts its loops and starts to have negative stories, the narrative's very powerful. We have to be very, very conscious of our narrative because the narrative creates all the trauma feelings inside us, which creates a psychological drama, and then, of course, our actions that are coming from that won't be as wholesome, they won't be healthy, they won't be good for us, and that of course creates creates our life. So we do need to go back to and essentially the breath to bring us to presence, come back to stillness, come back to using the om mantra, sorry, the om chant. Um, there's the Buddhist chant, nam yoho ringekyo, nam yoho ringekyo, nam yoho ringekyo, nam yoho ringekyo, that is a clearing mantra that takes you away from the polarity of the you know the excitement and the trauma and the good and the bad and the light and the dark, that's beyond the duality, and you find that stillness. So those things are essential, but then it's really managing that runaway mind that can take off. So coming back to I am where I am, I am where I am now, here, and training the mind because when we're the master of our mind and with the master of our body, then absolutely it it becomes there's never never that feeling of too much to do, and if there is too much to do, we'll learn to say no and create the the space we need, the the life we want to lead, and it changes everything. Something I just thought then, just to finish with, is that also sometimes people are trying to get things done to get time for themselves, and one of the things I find helpful is to make recognize this is your time, we all have the same amount of time, we choose what we do with it. It's very empowering to say I'm choosing this, so therefore, all our time is our time, and that can feel again very empowering. This is this is our time, this is my time now, speaking with you. This is my time. So there we go. The essence of it is come back to stillness, come back to consciousness, come back to the breath, and know yourself from the inside out, and we can create a life of ease and fun, even when things seem to be galloping along.