Heart Work with PBJ

55. Blurry Vision

March 09, 2022 Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson Episode 55
Heart Work with PBJ
55. Blurry Vision
Show Notes Transcript

"Friend, in order to clear your blurry vision, you need to discover your brilliance. You need to know what that life purpose is, so that you can set boundaries around it. Anything outside of that--the answer is no. You will free yourself from overwhelm. You will open up time that you never thought you had just by sticking with what you are supposed to be doing right now." ~PBJ

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So, friend, you know, we've been having this conversation about perspectives that lead us to compassion, fatigue, and lead us to burnout. And today, we want to continue that conversation by talking about blurry vision. When I say blurry vision, I'm talking about lack of knowledge of your purpose, what you were created for, where you're going, what you're doing. Oh, my friend, one of the reasons why we say yes, too often is because we don't know where our know is. We don't know where our N O is. And the only way to know where you're N O is, is that you know, what you were created to do and who you're called to serve. And I'm watching all of these conversations on social media and other places about finding your purpose, friend, let me tell you, your purpose is not lost. It has never been lost, your purpose is coming out of you, you can't help it. It flows freely out of you. But the challenge is, you can't acknowledge it, because maybe you don't get a pat on the back for it. Maybe you've never received an award or scholarship for it. But friend, I'm here to tell you, it is the thing that everybody calls on you for. It is the thing that people depend on you for it might even get on your nerves. You know, when I think about discovering your brilliance, which is that third step in the Heart Work Journey in which means you're going to find that light, you're going to find that power, you're going to find that purpose, you're going to find that secret sauce, that then you are created to do that nobody else will do just like you. When we talk about discovering your brilliance, I always encourage you to connect the dots, just connect the does think back over your life. And think about the things that people have always called on you for even think about the things that might get on your nerves. I know for me, one of the things I've always been the person that people call on when they're struggling, always I think I've shared this with you before. I'm not the let's go shopping, let's go out to eat. Let's go to the movies. First of all, I'm an introvert. Okay, I get my energy from being alone. That doesn't mean I don't love people, and I don't enjoy being around people. But I enjoy being around small, intimate groups of people that I have deep connections with. And then even after that, I need some quiet time. So part of that is because I'm an introvert. But the other part of that is because I am called to your crisis. That's what I do. I get deep into the crisis. And I grab your hand, and I support you as we walk out. That is what I've always done. Even as a child, I remember adults calling on me when things were going crazy. And if I'm honest, it got on my nerves, even into adulthood. Why do people always call me when their life is falling apart? Is because it's my brilliance. That's what I'm called to do. Even this work, burnout is crisis, compassion, fatigue is crisis. And I'm called to disrupt that, that crisis. For the people in this community. I didn't always know that. I wasn't always aware of that. But when I look back over my life, and I begin to connect the dots of things that I've done and positions that I've held and things that people have called on me for and I can see very clearly what I was created to do. And here's what happens when you can see what you were created to do. As you identify that work that calling that light that brilliance, then you know, okay, if it fits into the box of this purpose, then maybe it's a yes for me. If it is outside of this box of purpose, it is an absolute note. And not a no in an angry way. But a no no. Let me help you find somebody else who will be better at that. Let me give up that opportunity. So somebody who's actually called to it can do it. And what I found is there's more freedom. There's more time freedom, there's less grind less overwhelm in my life, because I'm learning when to say no. The people pleasing part of me wants to say yes, because I want to be there for everybody. I want to serve everybody. I want to do all the things but I am learning I'm not called to do all the things. And when I overextend myself, trying to do all the things, that's when I get deep in overwhelm. That's when I find myself on the road to burnout. So knowing what I am called to do, and I'm talking purpose wise, and in this season, can we talk about that. So just overall purpose, but also in the particular season that you're in, knowing what you are called to do, and staying within those boundaries will keep you safe from overwhelm. So let's talk about purpose generally, just across your life, right? I want to give you an example. And I want you to think about something because sometimes we get tripped up by the positions we've held in the titles that we've had. And we think that's purpose. But think about it this way, when I think about Michael Jordan, right, arguably one of the best basketball players in history, arguably, I'm not saying you got to choose, but you got to say he's in the running, right. And one might assume that Michael Jordan's purpose is basketball, because he was so good at it, because he made his career out of it, because he ranks as one of the greatest of all times in the sport, one might think that his purpose to fulfill was basketball. But here's my argument. If basketball was his life purpose, then what is he now? Because there's still breath in his body. And he still exists, and he is no longer on the court. His body may not allow him to do the things that he used to do on the court. So he's still exist, and there's still breath in his body. Does that mean he's lying around purposeless? I beg to differ. I believe his purpose was greater than basketball, I believe that basketball was a passion or is a passion. I believe that basketball was a way of him expressing his purpose. But it was never the purpose. Because if Michael Jordan felt like basketball was his purpose, he might be really struggling right now to find who he is and why he's still exist. So I'm here to tell you, you might be really good at your job, you might be really good with whatever title you have, you might be a very good mother, you might be an awesome CEO, you might be a vice president, maybe you are a teacher, or a principal, or a nurse, all of that is wonderful. But none of that is your actual purpose. It may be the way in which you are expressing your purpose in the season. But that thing is not the purpose. Because if a season comes to change, to move you into doing something different, your purpose does not change, the way you express that purpose may change. But your purpose does not change. So I'll give you my example. So right now, through Educare, I'm doing this podcast, I'm coaching folks through compassion fatigue. I'm connecting with a university and helping them through a transition. All of those are different things. And they're different from what I used to do when I was working full time for a university. But it's all still within my purpose of disrupting crisis, and helping to resolve the crisis. That's what I do. That's what I do. That's what I'm called to. I told you all about the worst day of my career a few episodes ago. That day, I remember our university president kind of grabbed me by the hand and he said, Patrice, thank you. And I remember what I said to him. I said, Sir, I was born for this. And at that moment, I didn't understand why I said that to him. But now looking back, My Spirit knew before my mind knew that I was called to crisis. That's what I'm created to do. That's what I do. I help you through the tough times. At so now I recognize that my purpose is the same, but it may be expressed in different ways. So you may be in a classroom right now, but maybe you won't be in the classroom always. But that doesn't mean your purpose changed. It's just the expression of that purpose has changed. Right? So you can, you can discover you don't have to find it is not lost. You can discover your brilliance. discover your purpose, your secret sauce, by connecting the dots in your life. Looking back over the things you've done, the things you've been, you have accolades for the things people call on you for And what similar and all of those things. And as you look back over your own story, you will be able to pull out the parts that connect, and you will be able to identify, this is my purpose, this is what I do. This is what I do, and it's beyond the surface and get beyond the title, get beyond the position and look at what you actually do. So that's the life purpose, then you have a purpose. How is that purpose being expressed in this season? Right? Because the life purpose doesn't change. But in the season that you're in right now, what are you being called to do? What is the work that has been assigned to your hands? In this season? We have dreams and we have visions, and we have ideas of things that maybe we'll do one day, is it time for that now? Or is that something that you'll get to later, you got to focus on what's assigned to you right now, and do that? Well, as you're doing that, well, it's going to prepare you for what's coming. But don't neglect what's right in front of you, looking forward till tomorrow, was saying your hand, what's in your hand right now that you are responsible for, maybe you are a mom of small children, if you have literals, in your in your house, and in your life right now, they take up a whole lot of energy, and a whole lot of time. But they won't be little always. They won't be little always, one day, your littles are going to have their own schedule, and their own driver's license and their own vehicles. I know it's hard to consider. I know it's hard to hear. But friend, one day, the little ones that you are wiping noses and feeding right now they can be feeding themselves and doing their own thing. And in that season of life, you will have more room more time and more space, to do other things to express your purpose in a different way. So don't get frustrated about what you can't do right now. This comparison is a thief, man. And I know you've heard that comparison is the thief of joy is the thief of a whole lot of things, your peace, your joy, and you everything. So I'm here to encourage you stop looking left and right. If you are in a season, that you are serving littles in your house, and that and not that that's the only thing you do. But if that is your main focus, that's okay. Because they won't be little always. Or maybe you're beyond that phase, and you're in a job, and you're in a position, and you're giving most of your time to that position. When you see something else, you see something else. But you know, you're supposed to still be doing this. Now, I can't tell you, when it's time to move, we can we can talk through some things. And I can help you hear that for yourself. But if in this season, you are called to give and serve in the place that you're in. If you're nursing, if you're teaching, if you're counseling, if you're ministering, if you're a social worker, and in this season, you are called to do that work, friend, do the work. Do the work. I cannot tell you how much I look back over my life now. Especially in those seasons of frustration where I just want to leave. I just wanted to quit, I just want to do something different. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful, not just for God's Yes, but I am more grateful for his No. Because all of those things prepared me for what I'm doing right now. I saw this. And I didn't see it in its fullness. I mean, I had no idea how good it was really going to be. But I saw this I knew since I was 12 years old people told me that I will be speaking. I will never forget it. I was 12. And people told me I would speak on international stages, unknown that I've had, and there have been seasons in my life that I let it go. And I say well, I guess this is what it's gonna be. So I'm moving on, right? There have been seasons in my life where it felt like it was so close, but it wasn't happening. So it caused frustration. And again, the speaking that I'm doing is just an expression of the purpose. Even through my speaking I'm disrupting somebody's crisis right now. Right now as I'm speaking to you, I'm disrupting your identity crisis because you don't know who you are. You don't know how powerful you are. You don't know the value that you bring to the table. You don't know the value that you Bring to the room. So I have got to remind you that there is brilliance in you. And when you know what that brilliance is, then it clears your, your vision and you know when to say yes. And you know when to say no, you're saying yes to too many things, because you don't know what you're supposed to be doing, right? So what is it that you're supposed to be doing in this season, to express the purpose that's already always been in you? It's always been in you. It's not new. It's not lost. You don't need a guru to help you find it. Connect your dots friend. Think back over your life. Look at the things you've been called on to do look at the things you've been successful at. And what do those things have in common? What do those things have in common? Identify that life purpose, and then identify the expression of that purpose for this season. And when you know, here's a life purpose. Here's the expression of purpose in this season, anything that does not fit within this season? The answer is no. And it's a polite No, it's, uh, you know what, that's just not a good fit for me. Or for and I just don't have capacity for that right now. Or did you think about someone so big, they will be an excellent fit? The answer is no. The answer is no. I told you all before my good friend Dorsey. She told me years ago, she said, I'm learning to say no, so that you have better yeses. Are you saying no, so you can have better yeses? Make your yes count? Make your yes matter? Give yourself a little time before you answer if you need it, so that you can make sure every yes is intentional. And every yes is not on purpose. But in purpose. Friend, in order to clear your blurry vision, you need to discover your brilliance. You need to know what that life purpose is. So that you can set boundaries around it in anything outside of that. The answer is no. You will free yourself from overwhelm. You will open up time that you never thought you had just by sticking with what you are supposed to be doing right now. So that's what I got for you friend. Let's clear up the blurry vision by discovering your brilliance so that you can serve serve in your brilliance. Serve through what was God given to you and created in you without you even trying for it. Working for it saying you doing it anyway. You can't help it. It pours from you. You can't help it. You're doing it anyway. It's time for you to recognize. Alright friend, as always, you are powerful. You are significant. And you are loved. Love always PBJ Hi Hey