Heart Work with PBJ

56. How do I find my purpose?

March 16, 2022 Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson Episode 56
Heart Work with PBJ
56. How do I find my purpose?
Show Notes Transcript

"But I'm here to tell you that passion changes. The expression of purpose is going to change. Something that used to light you up may not be the thing that you want to do right now. And that's okay. It doesn't mean your purpose has changed. It just means the picture has changed. The way you express your purpose has changed." ~PBJ

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Hey, hey, hey friends. I am Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ Welcome to another episode of Heart Work with PBJ, where we are disrupting cycles of burnout and compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue, for people who do their best to give their all to everybody, and often save nothing for themselves. This is your place. We are your people. And I am here to refresh your soul and your spirit and your mind. Friend. Listen, before we get into this episode, you know what time it is. The Heart Work Academy is about to open its doors, and it will be open to the waitlist. First, I'm only taking 25. So if the waitlist takes up to 25, then we have to close the doors because the team and I want to serve well. So we're not going to go over the 25 mark those who joined us listen, listen, let me tell you right now, there are going to be weekly live group sessions where we will be talking and I will be coaching live, there will be modules there will be activities, there will be a community you need to get in on this. You know you're tired. You know you're worn out. You know you are in burnout are headed there. Jump in. Do something for yourself. Do something for yourself. So now's the time, get on the waitlist, the opening, we'll go for the waitlist first. And then we'll open to everybody else until we get to 25. So go to www.heartworkacademy.com. And I'm going to show you that here. If you're watching on YouTube, www.heartworkacademy.com. Go get on the waitlist. So you'll have the first opportunity to join the Academy. Alright, so let's get into Episode. All right, friends. So this week, I want to continue the conversation we started last week about purpose. The number one question I get from the podcast. And when I speak live is, "How do I find my purpose?" And I understand the struggle. I understand this question. I remember living through it myself. And you all know I always say your purpose is not lost. You don't have to find your purpose, I encourage you to discover what I call is your brilliance is your purpose. It's your secret sauce is that thing that you do that nobody does like you. It's not lost, you discover it, you open your eyes to it. But you don't have to go searching for it. You don't have to find it, because it's not love. But let's get more specific today. Because I know that this is a question that is on your heart. And on your mind. I've heard it over and over and over. So I want to dig in a little bit today about purpose. And this search that we're on or this discovery that we're on. I hope that's okay. Because I want to be able to answer some of the questions that I have received. The first thing I want to talk to you about is why are you searching? What is your WHY concerning this search for purpose? Here's why I asked this question. I am concerned that those of us who are in deep frustration about finding and searching for our purpose, I believe some of that, why is a search for validation. I believe some of that, why is a search for acceptance. I believe some of that, why is a search for significance. And I'm here to tell you friend, that as you discover your brilliance, and you launch out into the deep to do even more of what you've been called to do, because you're doing it right now. You can't help it. It flows freely from you. You just haven't discovered it yet. You just haven't put value on it. You're doing it now. But as you really launch out to do it more, you are going to feel even more insignificant. Sometimes you're going to feel even more unsteady sometimes, because then the thoughts are Who am I to do this big thing. So I'm here to tell you if you are searching for your purpose because you believe that's going to make you feel more significant, more validated, more accepted. Let me let you know that you are significant right now. You are valid you are validated right now you are accepted right now and this journey that you are on is to teach you that so that when you really launch deep into your brilliance, when you really launch deep into your purpose, when you are doing things that are bigger than you, when you are doing things that you never thought that you would do, you will already know your significant, you will already know your valid, you will already know you're accepted, because you are learning that now. So don't wait until the day that you show up. And it's the big thing to feel validated. Don't wait until the big thing shows up to feel significant. You need to grab hold of that right now. Is there breath in your body? Is there? Is there breath in your body? Are you breathing right now if you listen, I hope you breathe in. If you are breathing, there is significance and validation and acceptance already. And I know that seems so simple. But let me ask you this question. What other human being would you meet? And say that they are insignificant, invalid, and not accept? What other human being in the whole wide world? Would you place those labels on? So if you would not do that for any other breathing human being, then why does it apply to you, you are significant. You are validated, you are accepted. Because you exist. Now, as you discover, and you get deeper into your purpose, your impact will grow. But it doesn't, it does not impact the fact or it does not affect the fact that you're already valid. And you're already accepted. And you're already significant. So be careful that you don't label your search for validation for acceptance and for significance, your search for purpose, because those are two different things. So check your wife, check your baggage, check your wife, if you won't feel good about yourself, until you're doing the big thing, I'm here to tell you the day that the big thing comes, you're not gonna be ready, you're not gonna be ready. So you need to find acceptance. Now. You need to accept validation. Now, you need to accept your significance. Right now, wherever you are on your journey. I'm also here to tell you number two, that purpose places a demand on you. So we have this idea that when I make it the purpose, I'm gonna feel better, I'm gonna feel fulfilled, I'm gonna and you will have fulfillment that will come. But somehow we think that our purpose is to serve us. And it's not. Purpose will stretch you. Purpose will break you. Purpose is going to push you further than you ever thought you could go. Don't run away from it. Don't run away from it because that's more painful. Stepping away from who you are, is more painful. Don't do that. What I'm saying is there's a cost associated with your purpose. And it's not for you is for other people, you won't always feel like doing the thing you were created to do, you won't always be in the mood for it, you won't always feel like you have what it takes, you won't always have the finances for it is a sacrifice. Purpose is going to push you purpose is going to stretch you. So that's even more reason for you to honor the step that you're in today. Because whatever step you're in today is preparing you for the steps that you're going towards. We always want to just get rid of where we are and fast forward into the future. Don't do that. Do yourself a favor. Learn what you're supposed to learn today. So that when you get to the future, you'll be ready for it. Because I'm here to tell you the purpose that is planned for you. It's big. And if you show up too big and you still got a little mindset, it is going to eat you alive. So I need you to place significance on the step you are in right now. The work you are in right now the passion you're expressing right now the people you are serving right now. All of those steps are significant to get you ready to prepare you to train you for where you're going. Don't just put the significance on where you're going. Honor where you are right now. Today. Right now, you are in purpose today. You are in purpose right now. I don't care how many followers you have. I don't care how many accolades, how many awards, how many Pat's on the back, or none of the above you get. You are in purpose right now today, what you're doing, who you're serving, what you're learning what you're going through what's going on in your life is significant to prepare you and give you the wisdom that you need to handle what you're going towards. So don't skip today, worried about tomorrow. Stay focused in your today. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Stay focused in where you are. Honor where you are. Honor the journey. That's not number three today. Honor the journey. I think I told you all this story before but I'm gonna tell it again because it connects here. So this was a few years ago, I had a speaking engagement in Tallahassee, Florida. And my family traveled with me, we drove from Georgia to Florida, and my husband is the driver. Okay, when we're together, nine times out of 10 He's under the wheel. I don't enjoy driving like that. I like to relax. Okay, so he is the driver, but he is an i 10 by 10. Driver. If you watch the movie, are we there yet? You know what I'm talking about? Like when he's ready to ride. He's ready to ride that he's ready to go. So my daughter and I, we know be in place. Like be ready. Bags pack sitting in the seat, which Oh, seatbelt on, let's go like don't hold a man back. And I'm not arguing about that, because I don't like to drive. So if you tell me what time you want to leave, I'm ready, sir. Let's go. So he's an item by 10 driver. So we were preparing to go to Tallahassee, and it was one of those days that he was ready to ride. So I was like, All right. Do you think we're in the car, daughter is in the backseat, got all the bags in? Let's go. So he's doing his thing. I was resting, relaxing. Who knows? He's doing his thing. He's getting us there. And we get to Homer Ville? I think this is Georgia. I think Homer Ville is in Georgia? I think so. So we get to this little town called Homer Ville never been there before. And all of a sudden, I think I was asleep because I felt the brakes. And I woke up and there were all these orange cones and detour signs. And y'all rev J when happy, okay, because this was breaking up his route. And he had a plan to get us to Tallahassee back certain time. And this was an interruption, right? So he tries to reroute and finds another way. So he finds another way, going that way. And then we end up right back. orange cones, and signs. And we realized that we're right in the middle of the Homerville High School homecoming parade. Okay, so at first he was so frustrated. And my daughter and I were just sitting there like, oh, boy, okay, let's see how this works. Next thing we know, rep day pulls over. He parks the car and he gets out. We like what is happening? What's going on? He turns around, he looks at us. He says, Are y'all coming to the parade. So we jump out the car. And we go watch the Homerville High School homecoming parade. Teenagers and cheerleading outfits and football outfits and ban outfits, throwing candy at us and all the things we don't even know these people. We met some home real people. They were very nice people. We enjoyed the parade. Then we got back in our car, finished our route. And we got to Tallahassee and plenty of time. My speech wasn't until the next day, we had plenty of time. We decided to stop and enjoy the parade. Here's what I'm trying to tell you. You're on a journey. You're on a journey. Purpose is a journey is not a place that you arrive at one day. And then all of a sudden, I'm there. I'm doing the thing. I know what I was created for. You're doing what you were created for right now. And it will change and it will develop purpose doesn't change the expression of the purpose change. Remember last week we talked about the difference between passion and purpose. Passion is the way you are expressing your purpose in the season. Purpose is what you were created for no matter how you express it. I'm gonna give you another example. So a friend of mine had a conversation with a good friend of mine. We had a conversation last night about some new things in her life. And this friend is an encourager, okay, even her text messages make you feel like you can climb a mountain, like, like without any message. Anytime that I talked to this woman, I'm like, let's go. I can do it, wherever the it is, I'm ready to do the thing after I talked to her, and it's not just me, everybody that engages with her. After that engagement. You ready? Let's go. Let's do it, whatever the it is. And we talked about her path now. And the purpose is, she's an encourager. She isn't encouraged. That is who she is. That's what she was created to do. She does that, like nobody else. And she does it without trying, showing up in a room, everybody feels encouraged just because she's there. That's who she is. She can't hold that back if she tried. And if she did try it, we'll take her out of here. It is who she is, right. But there have been different expressions of that purpose throughout her journey. And one season, she was a teacher. And another season, she was a teacher leader, where she was teaching other teachers. And another season, she was a trainer. In another season, she was an entrepreneur. And now she's moving into another realm. The purpose never changed. Throughout that whole journey, she wasn't encouraged. As a teacher, she encouraged students to accomplish things academically that they never thought they could do. As a teacher leader, she encouraged teachers to teach in a way and engage students in a way that they never thought they could do. As a trainer, she encouraged people to grab hold of wellness, and to change their bodies in ways that they never thought they could do. And now what she's going into now, she's going to encourage everybody around her to, to hold grab hold of their identity in a way that they've never done before. It's the same gift. It's the same purpose. It's just been expressed in different ways, and different seasons of her life. So the passion, and here's the thing, oh, my gosh, this is so good. Sometimes we get discouraged when the passion changes. Sometimes we get discouraged. So this friend was super passionate about teaching. I mean, you couldn't tell you can tell her she would ever do anything different. And she taught in an age group that many people shy away from, but she loved it. She loved it, she was on fire, and the kids knew it. And she never thought she would want to do anything different. And then all of a sudden that passion started waning. And if you're not aware, if you don't understand that passion and purpose are two different things, you might get frustrated or very discouraged in that season. Like, I used to love this. Or you might even feel guilty. You might feel guilty when your passion changes. But I'm here to tell you that passion changes, the expression of purpose is going to change. Something that used to light you up may not be the thing that you want to do right now. And that's okay. It doesn't mean your purpose has changed. It just means the picture has changed. The way you express your purpose has changed. I told you all about my path. There was a time that you can tell me nothing but let me hang out with my students all day long. All I wanted to do was be a part of college students lives. And I still loved it. And I still do that. But in a different way. There was a season where I was more drawn to the professionals. And I wanted to train new professionals, a mid level professionals, and I was super passionate about spending time with them. In this season. I'm passionate about breaking the cycles of burnout and compassion fatigue, I will not express my purpose this way forever. I don't know how many more Heart Work Academies we're going to do. I know I'm supposed to do this one. I know that. I know. I'm supposed to do this one. So the people who are coming in now, they are meant to be there because I know I'm meant to do it. Will it happen again? I think so. I don't know. Because you don't get a warning sign before passion changes. Transitions come in your life. And it's like wait a minute now what's going on? Because I was supposed to be doing this. And I did it and now I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something different. You got to listen. Your life is speaking to you as my coach Patrice Washington says, Your life is speaking to you. So your passion friend. Your passion will change. But your purpose is the same. So how are you expressing purpose today? Here's some questions. I want you to Ask yourself, what is the most exciting thing about what you're doing right now? I don't care what your job is, who you work for what your job description is, or even if you're not working you serving somebody, what is the most exciting thing? What do you love most about what you're doing right now? Here's another question. What do people call on you for? When your phone rings? What is it that people need from you? What what do you get the call for over and over and over? It may even frustrate you the amount of times people call on you to do a certain thing. What is that thing? What is that thing? Ask yourself some questions. Start looking to where you might go and look at where you are today. Because you are in purpose today. You are doing the thing today. And what you're doing today is preparing you for tomorrow. So honor it, honor where you are, if significances is the problem, if validation is the problem, if acceptance is the problem, then be significant right where you are. Except validation. Right where you are. Don't wait for the one day hopefully I'll discover sis frame person, you are in purpose right now. So that's all I got for you today. Stop searching. And if you are searching, ask yourself what are you missing that you believe purpose is going to fill? Where's the gap check your back. Listen, you are powerful right now. Right now. Where you are and what you're doing today. You're powerful. If nobody knows your name, you are powerful. If you don't have a following, you are powerful. You are significant. Right now today. You don't need the thing to be significant. You are significant. There's no one like you. There's nobody that has your fingerprint. There's nobody that has your collection of experiences or your collection of skills. Nobody else in the whole wide world can be you. You are the best you that will ever exist. And you are the worst anybody else. Don't try to be somebody else. You are powerful. You are significant. And you are loved because I love you and God loves you most is time to honor purpose today. Honor where you are today friend. All right. Love always, PBJ.