57. Detours are Devine

"I felt like I walked into a trap with blinders on after I had done all the things that I felt like I was supposed to do."~ PBJ

Join Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson as she explains how Detours are Divine!

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Hey friends, this is Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Heart Work with PBJ where we are disrupting cycles of compassion, fatigue, and burnout, so that you can serve and do the thing you were created to do without falling into those traps over and over and over. Friend, listen, it is time. It's time to get registered. I am just elated to open the Heart Work Academy. Again, I'm so excited about the team that has joined me. I'm so excited about the plans we have for you. And the steps you will walk through for eight weeks. We're going to spend eight weeks together live coaching. You'll be doing modules. We'll be coming together as a community to support each other friend. You need this. You know, you need this. For those of you who have called the sign up, you know who you are. And it is time. So listen, registration opens very, very soon. So go to www.heartworkacademy.com. Again, go to www.heartworkacademy.com. And make sure you get signed up either for the waitlist or the registration. Whenever you hear this, go to www.heartworkacademy.com and click on the button and make sure you join us. It's time friend. What we talked about here, it's time to walk it out. So I hope that you will join us and I look forward to serving you. Alright friends, let's get into the episode. So this episode has been on my heart for a couple of weeks now. And I'm excited to share with you is something that I've been thinking about concerning my own journey. But also seeing this around me through other people that I'm coaching. And I'm supporting. And I just want to encourage you today, I want to encourage you, I want to encourage you, that detours are divine, I know what it feels like to have a plan. And it feels like that plan is falling apart. I know what it feels like to be on a path. And all of a sudden you are off that path. And things seem to be shaky and out of control and not what you expect it to be. It can be frustrating. It can make you angry, it can make you fearful. But I'm here to tell you that detours are divine, and you don't plan for them, you don't see them coming, you don't really know that it's about to happen. But when you find yourself in the midst of a detour on your path of purpose, I hope you will think about this conversation, breathe, breathe, and remind yourself that detours are divine. Let me tell you what I mean. So when I transition, let me let me start with this. So I was working with a university for many, many years, several years. This is the University where I say, I grew up because I worked at several universities. But this one, I spent the most of my time the bulk of my professional career. And in that place, you know, I went from a very young, professional to a leader in that place. And you lead it every level but leader in promotion leader and title, leader and responsibility. So it was, needless to say a place that I was very comfortable. Because I had been there so long. So I knew my people, my people knew me, I had a foundation of trust with the folks that I needed to work with. My team was intact. Nothing is perfect, of course, right. So it wasn't perfect, but at least I knew what to expect. I knew what to expect. I knew what was expected of me. And the place was actually in the midst of a transition and i i stayed through most of that transition. But right as we got through the, I guess the most turbulent part of that transition, I got a call from someone who recommended me for a job. And immediately, I started to pray because at that point, I had gotten to the point in my life where I'm like, Look, I'm not distracted by shiny things. I don't get excited by all new opportunities. I need to check in y'all know that I'm a spiritual person. I need to ask God Is this for me? Because if it's not for me, I have no problem saying no. Because I have been through the consequences. So choosing something just because it looks good. So when I got this call, didn't get all excited, didn't get all whatever I want. Straight to prayer. I spoke to my husband about it, we prayed about it, we spoke to a couple of people in our lives that we that we trusted and ask them to pray with us, because this would be the greatest promotion so far in my career. So all signs pointing towards this is probably what you need to do. But I wasn't about to just jump in. No, I need to know what God is saying. I need to know if this is something that I'm I need to do. My husband and I even went to the point of driving to the city. Before an interview before anything we drove to the city not to meet with anyone. We just want to know how it felt to be in that place. Would our spirits be at peace in that place? Would we feel turmoil when we drove to that place? We want it to fit. So we took a weekend, there's us physically be there to feel what it felt to be in that space. And as we spent time in that city that weekend, we felt peace, without excitement we drove around, got to know the city a little bit, looked at some housing just kind of it felt really good. And you know, the mentors in my life and the people that we had shared with encouraged us that this was a good move. And it just felt like a good time our child was in college. She was in her first semester of college. So we were kinda empty nesting. It just felt like a good time. It felt like a good time, I felt peace. In my spirit. I felt like God was saying, go do this. So we did I put in my resignation. And even just thinking about it now tears come to my eyes. Because that was one of the hardest things I had to do. Leaving what good to go to what you believe is better, is not an easy thing. Because you're so attached. And when you truly love what you do, it's connected to your heart. It's not just a job, it's connected to your heart. But I knew in my Spirit that God was saying I needed to go do this work. So we did all the things we put our house up for sale, put in the resignation started the transition, we had a contract on our house and 24 hours Hear me when I say and this was not 2022. Okay, we had a contract in our own house at 24 hours. So just further confirmation like, Okay, this is this is right, this is what we're supposed to be doing. So we did all the things did a big goodbye to the university that I was serving and moved to this new place after I got the job course went through all the processes of getting the job, after I got the job moved to this new place kind of got established. And we were really excited. I mean, it was a new adventure, just the two of us. My husband got a job right away. Like I said, the house was under contract back in our old place, things were just working out. And then things were not really working out. The house contract fell through at the last minute, right before closing. So we had to put the house on the market again, and go through the process of selling the house long distance because we had already moved at this point. Things got really tough at work. And they just multiplied just got tougher, and tougher and tougher for many different reasons. There were lots of challenges. And I knew going in that there would be some challenges. So I was prepared for that. But I wasn't prepared for or I didn't feel like I was prepared for everything that I will face in this new opportunity. And you know that I told you all my burnout story. So I was at that place for 10 months. Before that I was at a place for 14 years. And I was at this place for 10 months before that moment of burnout where I knew I had to give it up. I had to stop. I could not return another day. And even before that day when rock bottom really took over and hit. It had been some months when my husband and I knew okay, this is this is not gonna work out long term. So let's talk about transition plan and what we need to do to figure out what's next.But burnout hit just I mean just took over me. A couple of days after I walked away from that job. my step mom passed away. It was a saw a lot. There was a lot going on.In that season. I've told y'all like after burnout hit that day, and I never went back. I was really angry. I was angry at the people that I worked with. I was angry, you know, with a lot of people, when I was particularly angry with God. I was particularly angry with God because I felt like I prayed. I asked you, I got confirmation, I had the peace, like everything that I felt like I was supposed to do to get an answer everything that I felt like I was supposed to do to get an answer from God, about if this move was the right move, all of that lined up. So my anger with God was Why would you do this to me? Like you knew what I was walking into? You knew what this was going to be. You knew what challenge it would be. And you still allow me to do this. Like, why don't you block it? Did I miss you? Did I mess this up? Did I hear you? I know, I heard you. I spent weeks praying. I know I had people praying for us. We were accountable. Like, we did all the things that I thought we were supposed to do to make a good decision. And here we are. I'm jobless. So I didn't leave that job for another job. I had no job for five months. The part that I'm not sure if I've told y'all is that my husband didn't have a job. For five months, we were at the house together with no income. And we're grateful we had savings we had gotten made away. He provided for every day, we did not have one need. Let me just say that we didn't have one need, everything was taken care of. The whole time we were out of a job. That's a different testimony for a different day. But I was angry. Because I felt I felt betrayed. I felt like forsaken, I felt forsaken. Like, why would you have any do this? Knowing how painful it was going to be? Why would you have me doing do this? Knowing the what I would face the ridicule and the stuff? Oh my gosh, why would you have me walk into I felt like I walked into a trap with blinders on. I felt like I walked into a trap with blinders on after I had done all the things that I felt like I was supposed to do. And I'm here to tell you that if it wasn't for that burnout moment, if it wasn't for that place, if it wasn't for all the lessons that I learned in that place, I would not be here today. And when I say here, I would not be on this podcast. I would not be coaching, I would not be teaching and speaking, I would not be living in the vision that I saw since I was 12 years old. I would not be living in that right now. If it wasn't for that detour. It was painful. It was hard. It was emotional. It literally rocked me to my core. When I tell you I thought I was losing my mind. On more than one occasion, I told my husband said I want you to know that I feel like I am losing my mind. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But I'm here to tell you without it, I would not be where I am today. I would not be doing what I'm doing right now for you and with you. The tours are divine. They don't feel good. They come with a variety of emotions. There's frustration, there's confusion, there's fear. All of that is packaged in the detour because it it wasn't a part of the plan. It wasn't a part of the plan. This was supposed to be my ultimate promotion. This was supposed to be the place that I stayed for a long time and established myself I had worked for years to get to that point. And I got there. All my mentors told me I would get there one day, and I got to that point. And it almost cost me everything. And I thought this had to be a mistake. This I had to miss it. This had to be a mistake, because there's no way that this is the right thing based on how it feels. There's no way that this was the right decision based on what I'm going through right now. And now, three years, four years later, I can tell you that that was exactly what I needed. Before that experience, I never saw myself doing anything different than what I was doing.There was a vision there was a dream in my head but I had let that dream go because it didn't look like it was going to happen. I had this other thing had this other route that I had been following and it wasn't working. So I decided, okay, I guess this is gonna be my route. And that's a good route. It was a good, it's a good route. So this is this is gonna be my route, this is what I'm going to do. I had let everything else go and settled. I had settled into that place, I had become comfortable into the place that I had been on the path that I had been on. Without this, this situation, this place this transition, was the thing that shook me literally shook me, and opened my mind to think maybe this is not it. It was the first time it was the first time I'm talking in probably 20 years that I thought maybe I'm supposed to be doing something different. And it didn't feel good to have my heart broken. It wasn't comfortable. It wasn't a good experience as far as the way it felt. But it was the greatest experience for my purpose. It was the greatest experience for how I serve and who I serve and what I'm doing right now. So let me encourage you. Your detour, is divine. There's no other way for you to gain the knowledge, the lessons and the wisdom that you need to gain to take you to the next level without going through the brokenness. And I know that this is not something we want to hear, I know that this is not, you know, something we want to grab on to or that excites us. And that's okay. That's okay. Sometimes we just need to hear the truth. And the truth of the matter is the harness the broken heart, is what allowed beauty to come forward. So you need that lesson. You need that wisdom. Do not walk into your purpose without the tools to be successful. And those tools often come through detours. Don't try to ignore it. Don't try to go around it. You know, when you come up to a detour when you're driving. You see the orange signs right? And the orange signs literally start redirecting you. And sometimes we think we're smarter than the signs. And we want to go our own way, make it a little bit quicker, make it a little bit more convenient. But if you just follow the signs, because the signs are there to keep you safe. The purpose of the sign is not just to get you to your destination, but to keep you safe while you're on your way. And we ignore those signs because we think we're smarter than the sides. Friend Follow the signs, follow the signs, that's where your safety is. That's where you're going to get to the destination. That's where you're going to arrive at the destination with all the tools that you need to be successful. Follow the signs. Don't ignore it. Don't ignore the signs, I think about 911. Right? What a tragic day in our country. But right after 911 We heard so many stories of people who missed the train or who were late for work or who had a sick child or for whatever reason, they were not in the buildings or they were not on that plane that day, for whatever reason, and in the moment, I'm sure they were frustrated. I'm sure that they may have been angry with family members or others who held them up all these emotions in the moment, where after the tragedy was over, I'm sure they were so grateful. It was literally life and death for them to be detoured. That day. Your detour is devine. So in the midst of the detour, I want to encourage you, let go. Let go. Release yourself from the responsibility of knowing what's next. Breathe, pray, and wait. Hear me Don't run away. Don't turn away. All Eyes On Me. Breathe, pray, and wait. And as you breathe, pray and wait. The signs are going to show you where to turn, what to do, who to call, who to reach out and as you obey. You will find that you will arrive at the destination equipped with all the tools you need to be successful in that place. Breathe. Your detours are divine. And I can tell you on the other side of it. I'm so grateful for it. And you will be to. Friend as always. You are powerful. You are significant. And you are you are loved. The detour is not to take you out the detour safety. Follow the signs for it. I'll see you next half love always PBJ