Special Guest: Sandy Pharaon @sandypharaon
Sandy Pharaon, is a Speaker & Certified Health Coach with over 15 years of leadership experience in the workplace. She founded Abundant Wellness LLC, to create a community for career-driven women to achieve harmony and healing in their homes, workplaces, and faith through a proven four step method called P.A.C.E. With her experience working in management consulting, IT audit, and as an IT Financial Systems manager for a Fortune 500 company. Sandy’s passion lies in being a wellness advocate who encourages women to prevent burnout and feeling overworked to prioritize their health and well-being in a world where 24 hours never seems to be enough. Join the private “Abundant Wellness Community with Sandy Pharaon” on Facebook to participate in monthly health challenges and partner with women like you who want to live life more abundantly.
Join Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson & Sandy Pharaon as they talk about prioritizing your health and wellness.
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Hey, hey, hey everybody, this is Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Heart Work with PBJ, where we are disrupting cycles of burnout and compassion fatigue for overworked, overwhelmed professional women who give it all to everybody else and rarely keep anything for themselves. Friends, y'all know how we do. This is a place that you can come and be refilled and refreshed. And to know that you are not alone and to put some language to what you were feeling. We got your back friend. Listen, if you want to help this podcast, will you rate will you subscribe? Will you leave a comment? It may seem like a small thing. But all of those things help us get this message out fine, right wide. So I'm going to ask you to go ahead and subscribe, especially if you're on YouTube. Make sure you rate make sure you leave a comment to let us know what you think about the podcast. Okay, thanks for doing that. Friends. Listen, I am going to introduce you to a phenomenal woman today. Sometimes we feel like we can never get relief until we walk away from this. So get rid of that. And at times there are times that we need to get rid of some things. But there are also women who are doing many things full time job entrepreneurship, and all the other things and figuring out a way to do it. And Sandy Pharaon is one of those women. So I'm gonna give you a brief bio of Sandy and then you get to meet her today. Sandy Pharaon is a speaker and certified health coach. With over 15 years of leadership experience in the workplace. She founded abundant Wellness LLC, to create a community for career driven women to achieve harmony and healing in their homes, workplaces and faith through a proven four step method called pace with her experience working in management, consulting IT audit. And as an IT Financial Systems Manager for a fortune 500 company. Sandy's passion lies in being a Wellness Advocate, who encourages women to prevent burnout, and feeling overworked, to prioritize their health. And well being in a world where 24 hours never seems to be enough. Friends, it is my honor today to introduce you all, to Sandy Pharaon. Listen, I am so excited to introduce you to the Heart Work Community for so many reasons for so many reasons. But I know that the people in this community, they are professionals, they have family members that they're responsible to, they have their faith, they have their community, we got a whole lot going on. And I've been listening to your podcast interviews, and checking out your community. And I know that you can connect with that. So before we even get into this conversation, the first thing I want you to do is tell us who you are. Thank you, Dr. PBJ. First, I do want to thank you again for being here. It is my absolute joy to spend some time with you this morning. When you ask that question, there's so many directions you can take right you read my bio, it says that I'm a speaker, a certified health coach with over 15 years of leadership experience in the workforce. Outside of my bio, I'm a daughter, I am a sister, I'm a friend. I'm an aunt to an amazing 14 year old boy and a plethora of children at my church that I claim as my own. I claim a couple of social media children as my own tool. I'm like looking at my low knees, my virtual niece and nephew. I'm that Auntie to all people, and I'm a caregiver. My parents are at that point where they're retiring and different health challenges. And as a first generation American, we tend to bring forth those types of accountabilities without knowing they're your accountabilities, you know, you'll raise your parents have the expectation that you will pour back into them what they poured into you. And I counted all a joy to be able to be given that task because I believe that God trusts me with it. And so I've been blessed that my parents have been healthy and well and I'm in a position now to pour back into them. What they poured into me. Yeah, I love that and I love that you share all those identities because sometimes when we're asked who we are, we immediately go to our career, we immediately go to our professional title, not realizing that we are so much more. And we have to be careful forming our full identity by according to what somebody else calls us, right? Because we are all we are all of those things. And I know even now, you know, as you are walking into abundant wellness, and you, you have a full, full career, a whole job, okay? What in the world would bring you to the point that you would think on top of this whole job? I think I'm also supposed to do this, what are you thinking? You know, God has a funny way of putting us in position to serve and help others and challenge us to stretch beyond comfort. And it's a beautiful thing, you know, at, I'm thinking back at the height of the pandemic, and that March 2020, timeframe, were all things were just up in the air, the whole world was feeling like we were in a whirlwind, and panic, unknowns, just not having any clarity. Couple months into that my company decides to it was acquired, and we're going through all these reorg and changes in the organization, and I'm someone that you'd consider a chronic overachiever, I'm recovering, I'm recovering. Well, you know, sometimes it flares up because you just have all of these aspirations and goals, and you just set all these like you, you achieve something you don't even sit to celebrate, you jump into the next thing. And literally, that was my story, Dr. PBJ, I was that person that just never satisfied sacrificing family, friends relationships for work. And here I am in a in an acquisition and the leadership position I was aspiring to is filled with someone else. And so that had to have been the third fourth time in my career that I heard no. But God was really saying, wait. And I had to just, I ended up deciding you know, what I'm going to talk to a mentor, who I absolutely love was a trusted adviser. And I'm just on the phone crying and upset, frustrated and all of the feelings right because my identity I didn't even tell tell that piece of my identity as far as career. But my identity at that time was wrapped up in work and in what my title was at work in what I accomplished from my career perspective, and we're on the phone. And as I'm just going he stops me and says Sandy, look at your phone. 18 minutes had passed since we started that conversation. And for 18 minutes, I just talked about my will my plans, my timelines, it was all about me. And he said, You need to go back to Matthew 6 and 33. It says, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things will be added unto you. And that became an anchor scripture for me. And he and I always closed our conversations in prayer. Were closing out in prayer tears are streaming down my eyes. And he would have not known because we hadn't been in person or seeing people. I live alone. I'm a single woman. No one would have known at that time that I had already packed on about 30 pounds of weight. Because food was my comfort. I was ordering. I was binge eating, I was buying everything had no sense of self control, out of fear. And I said at that time, I'm just gonna pivot and I surrendered. I surrendered. I repented, I asked God to now be in charge of my life. I said, Lord, you are in the driver's seat, and started working on my health and wellness, and getting myself back on course, with just physical health and spiritual health. I started to reprioritize the things that got me to the point that I was at where I knew I had to spend time with God, I knew I had to read my Bible. I knew that, but I wasn't doing the things that I had first done that had allowed me to even achieve what I had achieved. And so we reset in all areas. And now today, I help career driven women achieve harmony and healing in their workplaces, in their homes and in their faith. And I do that through a method I call pace. Because really, we're going we're going we're learning as we go along. But it's not it is not a sprint. We treat time like it has to be fast and move. Everything's urgent. Everything's a priority. That is not it. We got, you know, we got to slow down, steady pace, and you get to where you aspire to. So I have a confession, and I'm gonna make it in front of all these people. All right. I almost wanted to cancel your interview today, Sandy. I love you. I love you. Remember, I talked to you a couple of weeks ago about powerful community, Sandy as a member of my powerful community, but this is our first one on one. Anytime we've engaged, there are other people, this is our first opportunity to engage. And you know, doing my research, so I'm listening to some other podcasts interviews with Sandy. And as Sandy is talking, the Holy Spirit is convicting me. When she starts talking about PACE, when she starts talking about putting God first when she starts talking about how we want to complain to God about stuff we took on that he didn't do that we did. As I you know, I only want to talk to Sandy today. I don't want to I mean, I love I want to talk to Sandy today because Sandy and the Holy Spirit are in cahoots right now. And I am not appreciating it because this don't feel good. And I'm saying it in a joking way. But I want you to know that even to the point of canceling something. Okay, that I have put weeks in to prepare for. I put money in, I put time in to prepare for this thing. And as I was listening to you this morning, and let me I may even need the backup because I need to confess and I might do a different episode on this to give you more details. But last week, I prayed, I said, God, if I've taken on something that's not your will give me a way of escape. Give me a way of escape. And as I was listening to you, I've been listening to you for the last week. And I listened this morning to another one. And as I was listening to you, the Holy Spirit said that, put a pause on that. So as I'm still obviously, still working through this, I was like I don't really want to talk to Sandy today. But I do want to talk to you because I know I'm not the only one that needs to evaluate my pace and need the reset. Because all the things that I was looking forward to do are good things. Like none of it, it's not necessarily sin is sin, if I do it, I'm for obedience, that still sin, even the good thing can be sin, but I'm not like out here just out here, right? Like out here, all of it is good. All of this to help people to do what I feel like I've been called to do. But it's not just a thing. It's also the timing. All of it, all of it is important. And in sometimes we feel like well, if I just get out of this job, then all this overwhelm all this burnout will be gone. Like if I could just find my way out if I can just go after my purpose, my friend you take you with you. So if you are not put keeping things in priority order, if you tend to say yes more than you should, if you take on more, you just took you with you. So you're just taking burnout and overwhelm into your next season. So that conversation of the reset. Let's let's dig into that a little bit and talk about pace. Because it is so easy to get wrapped up and caught up. And just doing doing doing doing I think I was listening to an interview with Kirk Franklin yesterday. And he was saying how a Pastor Tony Evans taught him to be a human being not a human doing, like you do music. But you're not a musician, you do music, music is what you do. Like performance is what you do performance but you're not a performer. You got to reconnect to who you are, you are a human being not a human doing. So walk us through how pace came to you and how it's really real in your life, but also how other people can apply it to their lives. You know, I want to thank you for your vulnerability and being transparent about that because the truth is, everyone's dealing with that level of burnout, that heaviness that that desire because you talk a lot about hard work. You know people have a desire I have a genuine desire to serve and to give and to sacrifice. But the thing that gets us messed up is that we're pour all this energy and spaces in areas of sacrifice that the Lord did not send us to. And that's where we're burning out, because we're taking on the assignments that are not our assignment. Sometimes, you know, I think about even like job as he went through what he went through, there were among the people, his community wasn't supportive. He's coming here, I knew he had to dig deep. Like, look, Lord, I know who I am in you, you know. And sometimes people need to go through their situation with God alone. And we jump in and try to save them. And it's like, no, God is doing something with them. That is that is them and the father, I cannot get involved in here because now I'm burnt out trying to serve in a way that is not my assignment. And God had to deal with me with that. I was always complaining about being burnt out and being tired and being overworked. Because I was taking on a lot and I talked about being a caregiver. Yes, my parents need me. But there are things that I don't need to jump in and do all of it. It's okay, let's talk about it. Okay, you know, you got that, okay, here's how you do it. And I empower them, to take it on themselves. I empower my teams in my corporate job to be independent and make decisions, I create space for them to have the autonomy to rise to the occasion, and make a decision and I back them up whether whether they make a mistake in the moment we will correct on the back end, but we don't jump in and with pace. The first P is preparation and prayer. The reason why it's two PS is because as you prepare, you need to be praying over that plan, you need to be talking to God. I love the scripture that says commit your plans to the Lord and he'll establish them. Like he is the one who has to be in the driver's seat. So you prepare and you pray. That a is an acceptance and an awareness. Sometimes we don't really have a clear sense of what is happening. We don't because we're moving so fast. You think about a car that's driving fast, you're not going to really notice if like there's like scurrying animals nearby you may not even notice the trees in the colors and things but you start to have an awareness when you're going slower when you really slow down and you I think about my morning walks sometimes. That's what I noticed the bunnies I see squirrels I see whilst you see the seasons changing, you see flowers, I don't notice all of that when I'm driving. That's the difference. You have to have an awareness of what's going on in your body, what's going on in your in your heart, in your mind and your spirit. What is going on and do the pulse check. The see is a commitment to community. You talked about community earlier, but it requires a commitment for a very long time. I had all these walls up. Nobody could come in. I was keeping everybody out and then I was complaining to God about not having no relationships. I was like God ain't no sisters out here. They don't even want to be my friend God was like now the walls though you build Hold on wait, wait, wait wait you don't build all these walls you sitting in this cave by yourself and you're mad? How does that make sense? And then I was telling them I'm the only one dealing with this the only billions of people on earth this man I made all these people you are the only nothing new under the sun Sandy, nothing new under the sun. I had to go ahead and repent. And I had to start taking those bricks down. Okay all these walls all that her all that shame all that guilt all the stories I was telling myself about the sisters that love me that love me that call me that text me that invite me that I always said no to I didn't even realize I was saying no to all these invites. One of them called me out. She was like, Look, we invite you and you always say no, you write, you write? I do. I'm sorry. I do. I'm gonna repair it. I'm gonna get it right. Because the reality you have to commit to it. And that's the thing in the in the moments where you're going through, you're telling yourself all the stories. There's no sisterhood out here. Nobody is supporting me. Nobody cares about me. It's a lie. It's a lie. There's somebody out here that is thinking about wanting to be your bestest, bestest, bestest friend, and you have not created an opportunity for them to come on into your life, you haven't even been vulnerable enough to slide into their DMS and say, Hey, girl, hey, I saw your post. I love what you're doing out here. Be a good friend, you'll get a good friend. And the last E is that that last letter is an E and it's expectation of the desired result. So many women that I coach in this health and wellness journey will start with I'm not going to lose the weight what is happening how are we out here with a period of preparation and prayer and then you really gonna say we're not gonna get to that either expected, okay, we're not doing that. We're not going to do that. That's what we're not going to do. We are going to speak life and Not death, we are going to say, Okay, I have I have an awareness here of these things I prepared. I have prayed and I am expecting. And that's the thing with me. My my weight had always been up and down and up and down. And I said, Lord, after I surrendered this area of my life to you, I will not go back to this after I have worked and lost the weight. Now, I'm very transparent about being a plus size woman. And I'm gonna say that I'm not one of these women that's out here living living like oh, well, I got to be a size zero. No, ma'am. No, because that's how you get picked up and snatched out. See? No, I got okay. Okay, I keep a couple of pounds, so that nobody could snatch me up. Okay. Okay. No, no, ain't nobody gonna lift me. Okay. Okay, okay. So I tell people, Look, I'm a plus size woman, but better believe I can go up the stairs, I can carry out my case of water. I can, you know, the physical piece of needing to move through life is taken care of and well managed. Because yes, we talk about spiritually the temple of the living God, that our bodies are that we live in holiness, and purify and sanctify ourselves. But physically, we don't ever want to be in a position that we can't run and go get something for somebody, or we can't help somebody. I mean, these babies be running around the church, I'll be smashing up my nieces and nephews, I come here, and I got to get you I gotta get tissues. We need to be able to navigate the physical and that's why it's an abundant wellness. We're talking about spiritual, social, emotional, spiritual, and physical health, all aspects of wellness. And the reason why I like to focus a lot on the career aspect, career driven women is because we leaned so much into career that now all of the other sides have fallen apart. Where's your family? Where's the time the opportunity to pour into your aging parents? Where are your nieces and nephews that need you? Where are the people in your community that see you all these teenage I still can't believe how stressed out teenage girls are, like high performing teenage girls, I see myself and now you stressed out why? Okay, now they drinking coffee. I met coffee in college. How are you 15 Drinking coffee talking about to get through class? What is? And you think about that? If you think about it, that ends up being a person like then the coffee might not be enough? How will they feel that need when the coffee no longer is sufficient? Right? So if we're not telling them when you are weak, he is strong prey come to him when your burden and heavy laden his he has your rest. He has your rest. That's that's where you know, and that's why I say it's a pace, because we don't always get it right. We do not always get it right. We don't. Even this week, I will tell us about our tech. So I was like girl, I've been drinking my water, chiieeee I aint been drinking my water. And you gotta be okay with that. It's okay. But that's why I say you accept you aware. And then you make the changes where you need to you leave that community because they will help you and then you expect the change. I never go back to the mindset of I'll gain all that weight. No, I say I'm gonna keep pressing forward. My weight may fluctuate, but it's a new window. It's not what it was before. It's like, Yes, I struggled in the past. I acknowledge the struggle in the past, but it's a different season. It's a new season, and just keep speaking life. You know, we walk by faith, not by sight, you keep speaking life. You know, Sandy, I have to mute myself when you're talking because I'm crying, laughing. And then I'm doing the mute myself so that the people can hear what you're saying, because it is all good. It's all true. And it's all God and even when you talk about the young people who need us, and the pressure that's on them, so we know pressure, right? We experienced pressure, but the pressure on them is multiplied, always multiplied on the next generation. And we gotta tell them, but we got to show them true. Show them especially for this generation that's coming up I word means nothing. If there's no evidence, right, then they are not the generation that's just gonna Okay, just because you said so. No, let me see what you're doing says, ma'am. Let me let me see how you live in because that's what that's the proof that I want to see. So I have to we have to show them we have to show them. I so appreciate that. The first step is two part is prayer and preparation. First is the first step right? And that's the part that I get out of order. Sometimes I just get a wild idea, or God will tell me a little bit and I'm gone. I'm like, Yeah, I got it. Yes, let's do this. Okay, so we live our lives. Okay, okay. Go home. Um, I wasn't , I wasn't finished. I wouldn't done that. That's not exactly what I meant. So the prayer, and the preparation, it needs to be first. But I love that you put it together. Because sometimes we feel like we're not doing anything. Like we're not working, oh, I got to do this first step. And I just got to stay still and not be. Sometimes you need to be still. But even in stillness is preparing you. So there's, there's actively waiting, right? There's doing something while you're doing this, I love that. And then the awareness of the environment around us, but also of ourselves. You know, I always talk about your tail te ll What is your tail? Because before you fall into burnout, overwhelm will tell you that you're headed that way. But we don't listen. We don't listen to our bodies. We don't listen to our spirits. We don't listen to our minds. Because it's so noisy. And busy is such a curse. Because it disrupts and distracts. So we can't even hear. So there's always a tail, there's something, there's something in your body, there's something in your mind is something in your spirit, as to Hey, hey says Hey, hello, this is not going well, we don't feel good. We don't feel good. Like this is too much. But by the time we stop, I say overwhelm is the Whisper. But burnout is the demand, you will you will stop. Oh, yes, will you will stop. So we've got to be aware of what's going on around us, but also what's going on in us. And that community piece is so important because we need that accountability. And I'm with you, I'm with you. I love people, but people wear me out. Like both things can be true. Both things can be true. And I crave deep, meaningful relationships. But I'm not great at sustaining. Because I'm looking, if you're going through, I got you you need prayer, you need to be delivered, life is falling apart. PBJ is by your side. When you just want to call and talk about your week. I'm not so good at that. I'm just We're basically the same person. People don't believe me, I say I'm an introvert. They're like, No, you're not okay. It's because I could show up because I'm by myself most of the time, okay, I work from home, there's no interference in here. Nobody's talking to me if I don't If I don't reach out. It's a controlled environment. And so I show up when I show up. But I used to say I do surface level really well. But I had to force like I had to force myself, I have the sisters pinned on my phone in my iPhone function to make sure every time I look at my messages, I see a couple of names that I have to reach out to wow. Because I just know that about myself. I will allow people to and I'll just be moving. Moving fast. Listen, I need to do that. I need to do that to my friends. Yes. I love it. And you oh my gosh is so important. You're right, because it, it feels like a lack of love. And I know, I know that. I know that it feels like and honestly, as hard as it is for me to say it is because the way I feel about you versus the way I make you feel is two different things. It's two different things. Fearlessly reaching out. Like it'll be done in a day. And you think about somebody they drop in your mind. Column. Don't don't even don't give yourself the space and the time to make the excuse. Ask about them. text them call them. Hey, Sis, you just you just came to mind just had enough? We'll just I don't know. I know when I receive those messages how much it makes me feel. Can you imagine if you acted on every single time somebody dropped it your spirit? Yeah, yeah. And it's a lot. It's a small, it's a small effort. But it's an effort that you can do and allow people to feel seen. Allow them to feel valued. As you navigate life like we all want to feel that. Yeah. And relationship costs. It just does. If you're gonna have good relationship, it cost it cost you time it costs you investment. And like you said, if you want friends be friendly. Yeah, it's an investment. It's an investment. And then finally that mindset of expectation and knowing what it's going to be in speaking what it's going to be and not what it was. is So Powerful Sandy, take us through some really practical things because I know that the listeners here like PBJ, tell me what to do like, with you. I hear you Yes. All that's true, what can I do? Because I'm overwhelmed right now, you know, and I heard you say, in an interview you were talking about how you can apply systems and tactics from your career to your life. So talk through what are some of those things? If I'm not, you know, drinking my water, if I'm not getting enough sleep, or not able to go to sleep? Like, what are some of those things that we can do, really, practically in our life to start to get our breath back? Yes. I love to encourage people to take inventory and kind of look across, right? If you are too and I actually come from an audit background, so what we usually do is we go in and we assess, you know, we say, Okay, well, here's a list, maybe a preliminary list of requests that I would make to you. And you can fill them if you have these items. So it could be written documentation, it could and then I do interviews and verbally have conversations with people about what their process is. Now, if what you have them on paper is not aligned with what you tell me, I have a gap. That's a finding. That's fine. That's an area to improve. Okay. And I'll flag that and say, Look, you have a finding here. Here's what you can do to now remediate and provide recommendations. We all know what burns out that there's evidence here that that's clear that we're burnt out our bodies have given us the signs. So some ways and recommendations I would make is okay, what is consuming your time? How many how many hours in a day, if we were to just look at one day? How many hours in a day did you get enough sleep? If you're not sleeping? What is consuming your thoughts and what is causing you to not get good sleep? If you feel as though okay, I don't I know I'm not drinking enough water, drinking and knowing you're not drinking enough water now. What steps can you put in place to drink more water? Is it you keep a bottle of water near your bed? Once you turn on? Once the phone goes off? You go ahead and drink some water right then and then go get your morning routine started. Spiritually I always say First things first. That is the day's beginning. I always start with the prayer. I always start with reading my Bible. I always start with getting what is my physical fitness for the day. Whether it's you know, some days this morning was drizzling out my body said Ma'am, we are not about to get on this peloton, when we know my body was like since I was about to put the shoes on my body was like, I don't know who you think we are. But what's not gonna happen? I was like you right? I'm gonna put my raincoat on and go outside you right? I don't know why. My body and I have a great relationship at this time. And I listened I listened to her because she's not fooling around with what I'm, you know, she's like, okay, you can play if you want to. I told I told you what we're not gonna do is get on his bike. So I put my sneakers on and went for a walk in the drizzling weather. But that was what I needed today. So what are the first things first, if you wake up in the morning, and the first thing you do is grab this phone and you start to look at email, you start to look at Instagram, you look at Facebook, you look at Twitter, you look at you are already in that pace now. Now it's all the chaos all the noise has jumped on you. So that is why in the morning, you have to make sure you start filling your cup. And what does that look like? How do you get your guidance for the day in prayer if you are doing this quick two minute prayer and think your whole 24 hours is about to be good. That ain't it. That is not it. You need to go to the Father for direction for your day for peace for your day for guidance for your day. And he is going to give that in the Bible. You know we used to read here the acronym basic instructions before leaving Earth Look Get your instruction for the day. Even if you're reading the Old Testament, there's something that'll jump out and resonate with you and just keep you thinking and processing and things and that will guide your steps throughout the day. I also encourage food intake, think about your meals if you are always on the run. That means you have to spend a day or two days in the week and figure out okay what is food look like? Because even recently having conversations about it once you get busy and there's so many things happening your your health and wellness is really the one that goes first like you really don't pour into like what am I eating? What if you if you order it in one window and picking it up in the next often I get it this happens sometimes I kid it. But you that can not be your lifestyle. Because there's a cost. You always want to think about count the cost, the cost of no sleep, the cost of not eating healthy, the cost of allowing toxic or negative thoughts and behaviors to Oh Ways be in you, you are what you eat. If social media you're strolling for three hours a day, and that time flies when you start getting into reels them, okay? You start getting into reels honey, the day is gone. You have to sometimes turn off all those notifications, all of them. You have to sometimes put your phone on Do Not Disturb to get focused time. What is your what is your zone of genius? Are you a morning person that every morning you're wired and you get so much done. That means in the morning, you need to have focused time no distractions, email will be there when you start checking it at whatever time you start checking. Social media is going to be there when you start checking. You need to focus your attention when we talk preparation prayer TAC Tic Tac Toe tactically is really thinking about what is a big thing or a couple of big things I can get done today. Because that's how you really move the needle. People ask me how to start a business or you work full time I'm an IT manager, I have eight staff reporting to me in a fortune 500. Company. How do you have time for this? I calendaring is your best friend. If it is not in the calendar, I don't even I don't even know. Do I know you? I'm sorry? What did we spend? Okay, because it was not in the calendar, honey, it's not. And that's how I do. Birthdays are all in my calendar. So I don't miss birthdays, because they're all in the calendar. annual reminder. That's why I talk systems. That is your social wellness, your relationships, how are you pouring into relationships? People feel valued when you remember those things. So you need to remember these birthdays for the people you love. You need Oh, what do you mean, I was so busy? What message does that convey? Right. And even with your day to day, you'll work bulkier tasks, okay, if I know like my corporate job, nine to five, I have all of these things that need to be accomplished. I set priorities for the week, sometimes it's Sunday night or Sunday morning, I'll start to write out or even Friday evening, because I tried to take a day offline from work a full day, that's ever since I started my career a full Saturday off. But sometimes you have to be flexible. Now I'm an entrepreneur as well. So I have to be flexible. But that doesn't mean you let this consume your whole life. You must have time to spend with a loved who the people you love. They need time they need your attention. And COVID taught us that when people were in quarantine, they talked about how much Oh, I can't see this person, that person don't fall back into old patterns of losing the value in the people you love. reframe that prioritize those and then put work around those things and put Rest, rest has to be a priority. You can't you show up so different when you're rested. You show up so different when you've had time to process and decompress, like exercising is that for me. So I like to exercise and hear like that's what I'm doing my personal development, listening to podcasts, listening to different YouTube channels and just pouring in like those are the times that you get to do that. And it's possible, but you must put it on a calendar. Sometimes, you know, paper calendars, don't lose sight of that agenda. I remember in middle school high school used to have your planner, okay, you'll need you might still need a planner. I know it's all school. I know. I know. But okay, you need your planner, because what happens when you're writing it is that you start to problem solve as well. Seeing it like the digital solution is awesome for certain things. But sometimes you need paper. Let me say something real quick because I gotta jump in here. Your show, right? I love technology. I am a lover of technology. I want all the things I want to see how it works. I was like it's like a toy, right? But what I found is reconnecting with some of the old school ways. Our health is helping me be more effective and efficient in my life. You know, so maybe it's the old school alarm clock that you need. Because if you pick up your phone to turn off the alarm, and then you immediately go into the email, the Instagram, the social media, whatever, maybe your phone shouldn't be your alarm clock anymore. Maybe you need to go to a big box store or somewhere online, get you an old school alarm clock so that you can wake up without touching your phone tie. Maybe it's the hand writing that you need to go back to. And again, I know people prefer different things, so do your thing. But it's scientifically proven that what we write with a hand connects with that brain. So what you're saying about problem solving, memory, creativity, all of that is spurred between what you write with your hand and how you process it with your brain, that's not a body work. So you can prefer technology. I love technology. But sometimes we need to pause ourselves and think back to Okay, how did it work for me, when I use the hand planner, I use my calendar, I have my scheduling app, all of that stuff. But it still goes on a wall calendar, hand written in my house, for a few reasons. One, I need to hold myself accountable to when I'm doing too much, I need to see it. Because on my phone, it looks real cute, I can just scroll the day, right? Or just look at the blocks on a week. But when I have to write that thing out with my hand, then I really have to take responsibility to say okay, PBJ now, you know, you can't do that. And that paper it jumps out. It does, it absolutely does. The other thing that it does is the other people in my life, my family can see what because it impacts them too. It's not just about me, like you were saying our community, it impacts them too. So it holds me accountable to me. But it also holds me accountable to the people that are in my life that are most important to me. So I love those strategies that you're talking about of reconnecting with some things that might be considered old school, it might be considered old school, but some of those things we should have never lost. Some of those things we should have never lost. And by losing those things, we're losing efficiency and capability in the way that our bodies were created to operate. So true. And people you know, you lose even journaling, like sometimes, oh yeah, journal on my phone. But there's something to be said about getting that notebook out and just writing even if it never converts into something that you share online. There is something to be said about writing things down mind mapping, drawing things out visioning, writing the vision for your life jotting all these ideas, you know, it just that creativity just flows in a different way when you have an opportunity to put pen to paper. Yeah, absolutely. Because again, that is what we were created. We can't fight against our nature. You know, we're fighting against how we were created to operate. I have a she's not a puppy. She's an older dog. But she's 10 pounds. Miss Bella. That's my baby. Miss Bella is a dog, and dogs bark. And bellabox and our neighbors and we tried to get her to stop barking at the neighbors who really do like we never get invited to the dog park ever. Like we just passed by and all the other little dogs are out there playing and the neighbors are talking. We never get invited to those parties. Because Bella barks have been members, okay. But as much as we try to get her not to. It's in her nature, not just to bark, but she isn't her breed to be protected. So she sees a person that doesn't live in our home and she's like, I'm gonna need you to stop. I need you to hold her and now she's 10 pounds, but you can't tell her that she is. No, you hear me? Okay, come here. If you want to come down, you're she's a Rottweiler. Okay, it's very clear, I need you to hold up. I don't know you. We don't want you here. I need you to hold up and she doesn't. It's not a thought process. You know, it's not like, Okay, I think I'm about to bark at you is like what she does, is what she does. So we got to think about how our bodies were created by God to support us in doing what he called us to do. That's what the body is for. It was created to support us in doing what he called us to do. But we have become so intelligent. And we have become so independent, that we are steering away from the mechanisms that he put in place to sustain us. It's true, and we're paying for it. You're seeing that you're seeing that and how people are moving through life. You know, I had a conversation with someone about how imperative it is to spend that time with God and to be healthy like healed because COVID has brought to the surface so much bad behavior. or the sin is rampant. People are like I said, about a meeting was I was like, see, that is why spend time on the altar and spend time with the Lord because you're coming to meet and show your tail. Okay, I can tell you I spend time with the Father. Because you show your tail at work and your tail is out. Your tail is out. Out. Spending time with the Father, I'm I'm at his feet, y'all. Okay, y'all want me and his feet, and his feet is where I need to be okay? It's true. And you see that even when you're driving, the way people behave behind the wheel, you just like people are on edge. And you sometimes have to bear the brunt of that by extending grace, extending grace, extending grace, extending grace, extending grace, because when you discern that all it is going on you just take a step back you out. Yeah. Yeah. And that is, that is when we recognize that we don't wrestle with people. We don't wrestle with flesh, and we don't wrestle with flesh and blood. So even choosing grace is wellness for me, I'm not gonna fight with you. I'm not, I am not going to have this conversation, I am not going to be a part of this foolishness, okay, when we pull from one side to the other, I'm just not going to do it. And we already talked about love. And you can call me. And I'm not always perfect at it. But like you said, I know. I know, when I've been spending time with God. Because I can't do that. Without Holy Spirit. I can't show that level of love and restraint without Holy Spirit. So that's my PBJ. To be glad, come on, if this all goes Oh, show up. And that's what I love about God. Like for you to have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to pray for you when you can't get a breath room to navigate this life with it. And I tell people that were like, how are you always so happy. I said life is tough enough. I'm not about to bring you stress. I'm there is enough stress out here. There's enough chaos out here. The last thing I want to do is bring that to you. And if there are things that are going to impact you that I have to I try to talk to you like okay, how do I help you navigate this? Yeah, you know, what if that was the response at work, when we were dealing with reports and things I joke that I felt like a stepchild because I was just like, okay, so you're just gonna get married, have you lied. Now I'm in this new house, and this new school it with these new people you want me to call him Dad, I don't even know this man. That's how I felt about the job, I got a badge in the mail. I didn't even apply for this. That's so real. But that's what happens. And so if you're not, if you don't have your anchor, well, everything around you is moving you in this whirlwind. If you don't have an anchor, what happens? Oh, Sandy, that's so real. That's because it's happening all over. We went through consolidations and higher education, it was the same thing. Like, we're gonna change your name, your colors, and your mascot. And two, you have this job and you have your job, and you got to choose one, like only one of y'all gonna do this job. This is really, really happening. And it was traumatic for so many people. But I do believe that the way we handled it individually determine how we came out, because you couldn't act it up. Oh, you could have said you know, what have your badge. Y'all can have your badge, you can have this job. And God could have been like, oh, okay, that's all right. And what you're gonna do, because I told you to stay for the job, I didn't even I didn't even I came into this company, in the most God way ever, like sitting at the cubicle, I filled out the application. So clearly, I'm supposed to be at this company. But that's why God has to be in the driver's seat, because had I moved up in leadership sooner would I have ever made it to abundant wellness? What I highly doubt it, I highly doubt it what I have had that story of learning through quarantine, how God and how I had to spend time with God, like at church. We were talking I mean, the Lord was just sending messages through the churches and revelations through Corinthians through through, you know, be prepared and not scared. The Lord just kept sending messages to prepare our hearts and to help us get through and I'm sitting in a house and didn't go back to all of the things because in that season that the Lord was sending those messages he was dealing with me about food because I wasn't I don't drink I don't party and you know, you know less okay Christians will go through that list Honey, look, I don't feel I don't kill I don't. We don't hit that list. We're gonna get you that list of things that we do not do. Whoo, wow, we over here not taking care of the areas of life that the Lord requires growth in. There's a requirement for growth. And that's why I said, I don't get to sit back and not be healed and show up at work, and not help people navigate the feelings. They cannot net. The level of meetings I have. I said, I might need to go ahead and get some training and counseling because this crazy, I was like, what okay, how do these people get my information? How do they find me? 30 minutes on my calendar to talk about I don't know what people telling me I have women coming in here telling me about navigating at home and children. Issues in marriage. I'm single, I'm always single been single for a very long time. Why are why am I why am I why am I good? Lord? Well, you gotta be the way I talk in prayer. I'm like, okay, Jesus, let's talk about it. Why are these but healing, they are hurting are looking for help. They're looking for assistance and guidance through things. And that is why we have a responsibility to get our healing, and to be healed as we not think about that, Dr. PBJ, if you didn't have your story, or your testimony, how you gonna serve the women that use it, you can't, you can't, you can't. And it's the drawing to the light, your lighthouse, that's what we're called to be. People will always be drawn to the light when they're living in darkness, and not saying that sin for everybody, but what whatever form of darkness you're living in. And it goes back to what you said about healing and our responsibility to be healed. Because your chaos will tell you what you got, we wear these masks, and we wear these titles and these name tags, and we show up sharp and ready to go. But if there's chaos on the inside of you that chaos is going to manifest on the outside. So we are responsible, we are responsible for going through the process of healing, so that we can be a blessing. We're not talking about being productive and broken. We're not doing that no more. And they see that it's so apparent when somebody's not healed. It's apparent when they not at their best, it's apparent you know, I was watching audits you know all the all the talk about the OS, I didn't even talk I didn't react to it because that was midnight, he'll come on. I didn't even read his book. Somebody told me he came out in his book about certain things that he this may have not healed. And most people that you want to call about a great actor, a great musician, a great, there's all this stuff behind the scene that's happening in the heart. There's all this stuff going on. And it's gonna manifest Yes. Oh, man. And you never know when it will. You never know when it will. You never know when it will. So listen, I could talk to you for days you hit me up for days. But I want to make sure that our listeners know how to get in touch with you because some of them recognize right now that they need to know more about pace that they need to start their journey to healing. They hear in your voice that there's a connection and there's a call to them. So how in the world would people connect with you with your community? I always love to invite people to join especially well really women, the private communities for women. I know podcasts tend to have sometimes men will listen in and things but yeah, I got invited. Y'all go follow me on instagram as Sandy Baron or LinkedIn or Twitter. However, women please join the abundant wellness community with Sandy Ferran, it is a private community. For women that are career driven. We have wellness challenges. Every month, I go live every week and share some tips and guidance for you this month. It's April, a lot of people are seeking their New Year's resolutions if they set them. But I always tell people make small changes that with lasting impact. So you can still be making small changes whether it's walking, whether it's drinking more water, whether it's starting to meal planning, meal prep, whether it's cutting certain fruit food groups, whether it's adding supplements, so many different ways to navigate health and wellness whether it's focused on the relationships. This month, I'm committed to going on three three breakfasts with three good girlfriends, like small changes that will make an impact. So join the abundant wellness community with Sandy Ferran and I would absolutely love to have you connect with me there. I love it. I love it. Sandy, thank you. Thank you for sharing with us. Thank you for Listen, this woman is part Are for She's hilarious. Hilarious. Also you walk the walk like you know, you live this. You're in corporate America on a daily basis. So you know that this is not just something that you're selling but it's real for you, and that makes such a difference. So, listen, we appreciate you all listening. We pray and we hope that there was something in this conversation that you heard that was just for you. It was just for you. Nobody else in the whole wide world hear it hears it. It was for you. As always, you know that you are powerful. You are significant, and you are loved. Love always PBJ