Disrupting Burnout

73. Am I Burned Out?

January 18, 2023 Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson Episode 73
Disrupting Burnout
73. Am I Burned Out?
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to Disrupting Burnout - a podcast where we beat burnout so that you can love your career again! 

Burnout impacts every area of our lives and after engaging with people in healthcare, education, counselors and even ministers, I’ve found that a majority of them have experienced what I call, “The Spiral of Burnout.”

The spiral of burnout consists of three phases: Surviving, Overwhelm and Burnout.

This week on Episode 73 of Disrupting Burnout, I dive deeper into each of these phases and share how to notice the signs of burnout so that you can avoid it in both your personal and professional life. 

It’s Time To Disrupt Burnout:

3:09 - The Importance Of Awareness

7:00 - The 3 Phases Of Burnout

14:40 - How To Assess Your Life

Am I Burned Out Takeaways

  • “Be aware of you.” - Dr. PBJ
  • “Burnout impacts every part of your life.” - Dr. PBJ 
  • “Overwhelm is the whisper.” - Dr. PBJ 
  • “In overwhelm, we reject the very thing that we need: Help.” - Dr. PBJ
  • “Burnout is the automatic shut down.” - Dr. PBJ
  •  “I don't know what it feels like to lose your mind, but it may be happening to me.” - Dr. PBJ 
  • “You weren't created to live fine, you were created to thrive.” - Dr. PBJ
  • “Life is a journey and every day will not be like today.” - Dr. PBJ 

This episode is brought to you by Dr. PBJ LIVE!  Coming Soon to a city near you! Be the first to know how you can connect with a powerful community, ask Dr. PBJ your questions live and in-person, and get the tools to beat burnout so that you can love your career again! To join Dr. PBJ on the Disrupting Burnout LIVE tour, visit http://www.drpbjlive.com.

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Burnout is the automatic shutdown. It is when you have driven your body and your mind to the point that it has to stop in order to preserve you. Hey, friend, welcome to the Disrupting Burnout podcast. I am your host, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Friend, you are in the right place here at disrupting burnout, we are giving you the tools to disrupt and beat burnout. So you can love your career and your work. Again, friend, we get it, you're in the right place at the right time we speak your language, we know what it feels like. We know that caring and serving in a compassionate way can cost you in your body in your mind, and your spirit and your relationships. And this is your place to come to be refreshed. This is where you get refilled. This is the place to be revived. This is the place to fill your cup so that you can serve from your overflow friend. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to get started. How about you? Let's get into it. Hey, friends, it's PBJ again. And I'm so excited to come share with you another week. Today we're getting down to it. I'm telling you, I don't know how many times I've heard this question, either in my DMs or one on one when I'm out teaching or doing a workshop, a person will say well, but PBJ Am I burned out? Am I really burned out? And first of all, let me celebrate you asking that question? Because one of the reasons why I found myself at rock bottom burnout and August 2019 is because I did not ask. I did not ask that question. I did not pay attention to my own symptoms and science. I did not check on myself, I did not check in with me. I was just continually going, just going going during the next thing, just whatever the next thing was I continued to go. And I pushed myself until I had nothing left. So I'm grateful that you're asking that question. So here's what we want to do today, I want to share some information with you. Now, first of all, y'all know I am not a medical professional. I am not a psychology counselor, professional. I am an educator, I am sharing with you from my personal experience from the experience of folks that I'm coaching and supporting, but also from what I've read. So I would encourage you to take what I'm giving you today, feel free to do your own research. But the first thing I want you to do is just be aware of yourself, be aware of you, and what might be signs or symptoms of what I call a till te ll that's trying to get your attention right now that you may need to do something different. All right. So let's dig into it. First of all, I just want to give you a foundational understanding of what burnout is now, that went to the World Health Organization. So this is the body of people who are our guide concerning diagnosis and medical situations, right. So they published something called the International Classification of Diseases, and any diagnosis that a person can get is published in this International Classification of Diseases. Now, burnout is not considered a diagnosis by the World Health Organization or the WHO, right. It's not considered a diagnosis. The who called burnout, an occupational phenomenon, an occupational phenomena. So I'm going to read directly the quote from the ICD, the International Classification of Diseases, and then I'm gonna tell you my thoughts on it. So hang tight, okay. So according to the ICD 11, this came out I think in 2019. Burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions, feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one's job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job and reduced professional efficacy, right? Burnout refer refers specifically to a phenomenon in the occupational context, and should not be applied to describe experiences and other areas of life. Okay. Now, I am nobody to argue with the who, but I will. Because I have a few questions about this definition. I don't think it's wrong, but I do think it's limited. So if we go just according to this definition, from the who, it says that burnout is specifically about occupation only, and can't be applied to any other area of life. And I can imagine, there are many reasons I have great respect for the people who do this work in this publication, and I'm considering the stay at home mom, who's at her wit's end, I'm considering the home caregiver who's caring for a loved one day in and day out, who's found themselves at rock bottom burnout, I believe that burnout impacts every part of your life. And it may or may not be birthed out of your occupation or your work, and my experience, but also in the experiences of those that I'm supporting, I see that burnout impacts every area of your life. So I think just applying it to work is a is a limited way to look at burnout. I don't think it's wrong, but I do think it's limited. I want to share with you what I've seen concerning burnout, and what I call the cycles of burnout, because I have engaged with folks, mostly educators, but people through health care and counselors and even ministers who have found themselves in what I call the spiral, of burnout. In the spiral of burnout, there are three phases that I find people in the first phase I call surviving. When a person is surviving, they know they have too much on their plate. They know there's too much going on, but they don't feel like they can stop. They they feel like if they were to stop, everything would fall apart like a like a house of cards or like dominoes. It would if one thing fell, everything would fall. So for fear of damaging or dropping everything, they just keep pushing themselves. When a person is in surviving, one of the primary signs is the I'm fine. How are you? I'm fine. How's your family, they're fine. How's work, it's fine. Anytime I hear fine. It's an indication to me that the cycle or the spiral has begun. That's a surviving syndrome. I'm not thriving because I've got too much going on. But I am surviving, I'm holding it together, I'm doing what I need to do. I don't feel like I can stop. But I'm doing what I need to do. If a person doesn't do something different in the surviving phase, then they will find themselves in what I call overwhelm. When a person is in overwhelm, they can feel the water level of the life rising and they're struggling to hold their head above water is too much going on. That is overtaking their body and their mind and their heart and their relationships. In overwhelm your life starts speaking to you the lights start flashing, the warning indicators are going off that it is too much. It's too much. So folks begin to experience body aches and and digestive problems and pains and headaches and trouble sleeping your body starts to speak to you your your mind starts to speak to you when you go to rest. You can't rest because your mind is suddenly thinking about all the things you didn't get to in that day and you can't truly rescue my sleep. But you can't rest your heart, not the heart that beats but the heart that feels starts to speak to you and you may feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. Like I can't even control the tears. I can't even control the anger. I don't even know why I'm mad but I'm just mad. The emotions are all over the place. But also I believe your relationships speak to you. Your relationships those that matter most those that are closest to you. If you look around at your marriage or your relationship with your children or your siblings or your parents or your closest friends, those people who know you almost just as well as you know yourself, if those relationships are struggling, then it may be a sign that you are overwhelmed. I always say that overwhelm is the Whisper. If you don't pay attention to the whisper, then burnout comes right. Overwhelm is where I hear I got it. I got it. I got it. No, I don't need help. I got it. No, I don't need you to come, I got it. No, I don't need you to call. I got it. I got it in the I got it. It's a defense. The reason why we say I got it is because we can bear allow anybody to get close enough to us right now to really see what we're dealing with and what's going on. So the I got it is a mechanism to push back, anybody that will come and see behind the mask that we're wearing the very mass that is killing us. In overwhelm, we reject the very thing that we need help. We run away from the very thing that we need support, because of fear of looking like we're not good enough, we're not strong enough, we're not smart enough or that we can't handle it. So we push away what we need in order to preserve the facade that is taking us down and taking us out. I would encourage you if you feel overwhelmed today, shout help. somebody close to you, somebody who loves you, somebody who's been checking on you anyway, because something in their heart tells them that it's not right. You need to let them in. They may not have the answer, but they can support you. They can stand by you. They can connect you to resources, if you are in overwhelm today. If you don't do anything about overwhelm, the bottom of the spiral is burnout. And when you get to burnout, there's nothing more to say. There's nothing more to do burnout is the automatic shutdown. You don't have a choice. Your mind is in overdrive and there's a shutdown or your body is in overdrive and there is a shutdown. My friend Nicole Rhon. She's a capacity coach. And Nicole tells how she ended up in the hospital. She was commuting for hours a day to a corporate job, that once she got there took everything out of her. But she didn't feel like she could stop and she did not stop until she ended up in the hospital because her body stopped. It's a force stop. A force quit. When I walked away from my 20-year career in 2019. With no notice I had made it to Vice President. I had the corner office I had the parking spot with my name on it. And I was so burnt out I walked away with no notice. I didn't go home because I had my resume out or because anybody was knocking down the door or because I had a plan. I went home because I was broken and I was empty. I had taught everybody in my life. That they could depend on me that I could be all things to all people. And they believed me. And I had nothing more to give. I remember telling my husband, I don't know what it feels like to lose your mind. But it may be happening to me. I could not think clearly. I could not see clearly. I was done. Hey friends MPJ and I have something exciting to share with you today. I am coming to a city near you. Yes, that's right. I'm coming to see you to your local coffee shop to a church fellowship hall near you. It is time for us to be in the same room together. virtual online is fine, but there's nothing like being in the same place on one accord or supporting each other. So here's what I need you to do. Go to Dr. PBJ live.com get signed up on the waitlist make sure you send me an email. Dr. PBJ don't leave my town out. I cannot wait to come see you go get signed up today. Burnout is the automatic shutdown. It is when you have driven your body and your mind to the point that it has to stop in order to preserve you. It has to stop in order to preserve So I want to ask you a question. How are you? No, no, really? How are you? So often we ask that question as a greeting, and we don't even wait for the answer. So it's like a hello. And we've learned to give the stock answer we've learned to give the rehearsed answer. I'm fine. I'm fine. Fine, is a sign. You weren't created to live fine. You were created to thrive? How are you? How are you in your body? How are you in your mind? How are you in your emotions? How are you in your spirit? Do you feel spiritually connected? How are you in your relationships? The ones that mean the most to you? How are you? Are you surviving? Like, I don't need anybody to do anything. But I'm going in, I can't stop. I can't slow down, I can't take a break. I can't take time off. I can't take the weekends off. I can't shut down. I can't walk away. I can't, I can't, I can't. Are you in overwhelm? Were you pushing the very help that you need away, because you are afraid because you are afraid of what might happen. If you actually told the truth, and let somebody in. You are afraid of what somebody might say or what they might think or what you yourself might think. If you truly admitted that you're overwhelmed right now, let me say this. Because I know that many people who listen to this podcast are my sisters, women. And we have been, we have been trained in a way to take on everything and show no weakness. To be responsible for everybody. And not to think about yourself that we need to be strong. To hold back our feminine side. You can say when you're struggling, you can admit it, when you need some help. You can reach out when things are overwhelming. And I would encourage you to do that. I would encourage you to do that. So again, burnout is not considered a diagnosis, right. And I'm not a counselor, but I do have a counselor. I have a therapist, I have a coach. Those are two different people in my life, to different resources that I keep. They are a part of my team, my PBJ team, you need a team. You need to surround yourself with people with resources that can support you in your journey. Life is a journey. And every day will not be like today, whether today is your worst day or your best. Everyday will not be like today. And you need a team that you can tap into, that you can connect with regardless of how the day is going. You need your own counselor, your own therapist, you need your own coach, you need a powerful community that when you don't even see the signs in yourself, somebody loves you enough to see the signs in you and to support you and show you love. So friends, that's what I got for you today. I can't tell you how often I received this question. Am I burned out? Am I burned out? I would encourage you to assess your life. How are you? How are you? Determine where you are today? And determining your heart that you are going to create your team of support and resources that will journey with you through this life. So that you can Be in do everything that God created you to be in. All right, France. That's what I got for you this week. And I can't wait to talk to you again next Wednesday. Bye bye. Now hold on frame before you go. I want you to share this episode was somebody in your life who you know needs it. And you know we can't leave without this. I always have to remind you I need to remind you, you are powerful. You are significant. And you are loved. Love always PBJ