Disrupting Burnout

77. Strategies for Burnout Recovery

February 15, 2023 Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson Episode 77
Disrupting Burnout
77. Strategies for Burnout Recovery
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Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to Disrupting Burnout - a podcast where we beat burnout so that you can love your career again! When you’ve hit rock bottom and all you can do is leave, you are beyond burnout to the point of disruption. 

 In this week’s episode of Disrupting Burnout, I’m sharing my top 3 strategies to burnout recovery and teaching you how to beat burnout, before it sends you home! 

It’s Time To Disrupt Burnout:

 1:35 - When You’re Broken & Burned Out 

16:45 - Check Your Backpack

20:10 - Build Your Boundaries

21:50 - Discover Your Brilliance

Strategies for Burnout Recovery Takeaways
●      “I went home because I was broken.” - Dr. PBJ 

●      “I do not recommend escaping the way that I did, but I do recommend recovery.” - Dr. PBJ 

●      “Your backpack also includes all of the words spoken to you and about you.”  - Dr. PBJ 

●      “I'm no longer willing to push myself beyond what's reasonable.” - Dr. PBJ

●      “Boundaries are not just a fad, they are safety.” - Dr. PBJ  

●      “You have to respect the boundaries that you build.” - Dr. PBJ 

●      “You need to know what you bring to the table so that you can articulate it to others before anybody else can value you.”  - Dr. PBJ 

●      “Lead with brilliance. Let your brilliance go first and you won't have to worry about overworking.” - Dr. PBJ  

●      “There are no words to describe the impact that you bring when you show up in your brilliance.” - Dr. PBJ

This episode is brought to you by One-on-One Coaching with PBJ! Are you career-frustrated?  Have you lost your passion for work you once loved? Dr. PBJ is experienced and equipped to support you. Schedule a free Connect Call atwww.connectwithpbj.com

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I regret to this day that I allowed it to get so far that people questioned my professionalism. But I do not regret making the decision for me. Hey, friend, welcome to the disrupting burnout podcast. I am your host, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Friend, you are in the right place here at disrupting burnout, we are giving you the tools to disrupt and beat burnout. So you can love your career and your work. Again, friend, we get it, you're in the right place at the right time we speak your language, we know what it feels like. We know that caring and serving in a compassionate way can cost you and your body in your mind and your spirit and your relationships. And this is your place to come to be refreshed. This is where you get refilled. This is the place to be revived. This is the place to fill your cup so that you can serve from your overflow friend. I'm so glad you're here and I'm ready to get started. How about you? Let's get into it. Hey, friends, listen, let's get into this episode. So in Episode 73, I talked you through several things that will not resolve your burnout. So today, I want to talk to you about three strategies that will support you and recovering from burnout. These are the strategies that I teach. These are the strategies that I use when I coach, these are the strategies that I learned through my own burnout. And notice friends, I called them strategies, these are not steps. So it's not going to be in chronological order. I believe that all three of these strategies are necessary. For some people, they may need to approach the strategies all together at once. For others, there may be one strategy in the forefront while the others are working in the background. But all three of these strategies have been powerful in helping me to recover from burnout and helping others that I have the privilege of supporting. Before I get into the strategies, I don't want to take for granted that everybody here has heard my story. If you have friends, this will be a refresher. If you haven't, then this will help you understand why I do the work that I do. It started Oh my goodness. And I don't even know if I want to say it started. But I'll go back to 2018. Let's just start there. So in 2018, I was working as as a Dean of Students and associate vice president at a university it was the biggest promotion I had ever had to date. And we had just been through some consolidation and other things and things were starting just starting to level out. It takes a long time to recover from that kind of process. But I had been at this institution for years, I had networks, I have relationships. I knew the university, I knew my students, I knew my people, I was pretty comfortable there. I wasn't searching, I wasn't looking for a job. I was just trying to settle in, after everything we had been through. And I got a call. I got a call from a mentor. There was a vice president's position open at a different school and this mentor calling and say, Hey, I think it's your turn. I think it's time I think you should apply. Seems like a good fit for your skill set in your experience. And I spoke to my husband and we decided, okay, let's apply and going through the application process. Of course, lots of prayer. I'm talking to wise people in our lives. You know, you can't talk to everybody. But there are a handful of people that we turn to for wise counsel, and we spoke to them and went through the whole process. And we even drove to the city where the new university is to see how we felt there and everything seemed to align and we felt like we were supposed to do this. Well, I got the job. I got the job. So I broke the news to the place where I was working and my staff and even our child was starting college at that time in the town where we were living she said that she He was gonna be gone to school at home where the family was. And we said I'm, so we're leaving enjoy college, we love you, you can do this. She didn't appreciate that very much. But it turned out fine. She's graduated now she's okay. But we sold our home, we packed up our things, and we moved to a new place. And honestly, it felt like it felt like an adventure. To start it out, it was the first time that we have moved to a different place together. We had different moves before we met. But it was the first time that we had moved to a different city together. We got to know new places, new restaurants, new things, new people, it was an adventure and going into the new place. I was aware of challenges. People were honest with me, I was not surprised by challenges. But I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you that it was a tough assignment. It was a tough assignment. And it seemed to get tougher and tougher. Long story short, 10 months later, 10 months after starting this job. August 2019. I remember driving to work, it was raining, but I could barely see because my eyes were full of tears. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to do. I drove into the parking space with my name on it, because that's what they give you when your vice president and I got my face together, wipe my tears fresh in my makeup because I didn't want him by simulate that. I walked into the Student Union like I always do, hugging and saying good morning and talking to students and staff. It was all I could do to get behind the wooden door of that beautiful corner office. I shut that door. And I remember holding on to the edge of my desk, because I didn't feel like I could hold my own stuff up anymore. What I really wanted to do was crawl under that desk and late in the fetal position because I didn't have strength. My fear of allowing myself to go on that desk was somebody who was going to find me there. And I was too prideful to let anybody find me. So when I was finally able to gather my string, picked up the phone, and I called Edward and I tried to explain to him what I was feeling. I'm sure. It wasn't very coherent. I don't remember what I said to him. But I know I had trouble getting my thoughts together. I remember him interrupting me saying go home. I will meet you there. And immediately I started explaining to him why I couldn't go home. If you are in education, you know, August, it's go time. And it was August. It was August, and it was the middle of everything. Students were moving in parents were anxious, financial aid, trouble. We were programming, everything was happening all at the same time. And I had this whole team of people who were depending on me. So I'm trying to explain to him why I can't go home. And he interrupted me again. He said go home, I will meet you there. I said, Okay. I felt trapped and really wanted to open that door. But I knew if I open that door, there will be a student there who needed me or a staff member who had a quick question or a colleague who needed to have a conversation. I had taught everybody in my life, that I could be all things to all people. And they believe me. And I had nothing left. So I went home. I went home home. I typed up a letter. I waited outside the door where my president was having a meeting. And when my President opened the meeting, I gave them a letter and I said I'm so sorry. All the confusion and the worry and everything on their face. I can see it right now. And I said I can't do this. I'm so sorry. And I went home. I didn't go home because I had another job waiting. I didn't go home because my resume was out. I went home because I was broken. I went home and I walked away from students who depended on me and went home and walked away from a team who was invested in believed in the vision. I went home, not knowing if I would ever be hired again in education. We give at least 30 days notice I gave him Notice, and I went home, I went home because I was convinced. And I'm still convinced to this day that if I had come back one more day, I would not leave on my own power. Somebody would have to come get me. And I couldn't let it get to that point. So I went home. And I was home for five months with no job and no income. I was there looking at the dog. And she was looking at me, girl, I don't know, she's like, why are you here? Like, since I can tell you. And at first I was angry. I was angry, I was angry at everybody around me. Nobody saw me. You can see me struggling. Y'all didn't see me going down. As much as I do for everybody else. Nobody sees me. But at some point, I had to reckon with myself. And I had to admit that this was not the first time I was overwhelmed. I was burnt out. This was not the first time I felt this way. It was just the worst. In times before I was able to dig myself out of it, pull myself up by my bootstraps, push my way through, and somehow got to a better place and kept trucking. But this time, I hit rock bottom. And I had to find a more effective way one to recover, to to do the work. I didn't know what work I was going to do. I didn't know who was going to hire me ever again that there were folks in my network who trusted me. And by leaving in that way, I broke that trust. I broke that trust. I regret to this day that I allowed it to get so far that people questioned my professionalism. But I do not regret making the decision for me. I do not regret preserving my mind. And my heart. I don't regret walking out on faith. I regret the way that I walked out. And I regret that there was no notice. I didn't I didn't know that was coming. But for months, I knew it wasn't working. And I just kept pushing. I can do it. I got it, I can get through it. And I pushed until I push myself to the bottom. And there was no getting up except to leave. Hey, Brian, I'm just popping in to let you know that I have just a handful of openings on my calendar over the next three months for one on one coaching clients. If you are an accomplished woman who has found that you've lost your fire over time, if you have been successful doing all the things, but you just want to love your work. Again, if you're really good at what you do, but you know that there is more than you need to reach out. Go to connect with pbj.com Sign up for a connect call. We'll jump on real quick. I just need to make sure you're a good candidate for my coaching program. And if so we'll dig in together and I'll walk this journey with you. Alright, y'all reach out connect with PD de.com. I look forward to speaking with everyone. Dr. PBJ was a coach of mine in a coaching program. And we had we had her support through the entire program. But we had one week specifically designated to mindset, which was kind of surprising to me, like why do I need this in a business coaching program. But you learn and you realize and Dr. PBJ taught us that. So much of it is in our mind. I remember thinking that I like physically had to work and work through challenges in order to make my dreams come reality. But what Dr. PJ taught us is that so much of the block isn't like a physical thing, right? It's a mental thing. And then once we're able to release ourselves from the mental blocks and overcome those and break down those walls. That's when we're able to prosper and that's how we're able to succeed and live out our dreams. So if you ever get a chance to work with Dr. PBJ. You must you need to you need her. She's phenomenal. So let me start by saying I do not recommend escaping the way that I did. But I do recommend recovery I do recommend attending to what your body is saying what your mind is saying what your heart is saying to you what your relationships are screaming at you, I do recommend doing something. But you don't have to escape. And that's what I want to talk to you about today. As I shared in Episode 73, burnout is not about your calendar tactics. It's not about resilience. It's not about new normal. And it's not about work life balance. But there have been three critical strategies that I've discovered, that have helped me continue to help me recover and refocus in my life. But it's also been powerful for those that I have the honor to share with it coach, and support. And those are the strategies that I want to introduce to you today to remind you of, if you are a listener who's been hanging in there with me, I cannot emphasize these strategies enough. And we will spend some time in the coming weeks to walk through each of the strategies because there's so much detail in each one. But today, I just want to give you an overview of the three strategies that are found to be the most impactful, and recovering from burnout and disrupting the cycles of burnout, meaning not continuing to go back to that rock bottom place, but disrupt it, and not find yourself in that place anymore. So here are the strategies that I want to share with you that I have found to be so powerful. Number one is check your backpack. I believe all of us have an Invisible Backpack you have it on right now, you may not realize it, but you wear it every day. And in that backpack is every experience that you've had everything that you've learned every memory, that you carry every habit that you have every cultural norm that you carry, it's all in that backpack. And in checking your backpack, I want to challenge you to open that backpack. Look around what's in there. What are you carrying? And does it align with who you are and what you need today? What's in your backpack? Some of the questions we ask in the backpack? We discussed this in our last episode, what is your definition of work? Where did you learn it? And does it align with who you are? Let me ask you another question. What does success look like for you? Is it climbing the ladder? Is it going as far as you can? Is it reaching the highest salary possible? Or is success more about wholeness and health? What is success? Or what are you driving yourself towards? What are your ambitions? Taking you to your backpack also includes all of the words spoken to you and about you? What words are you carrying with you that lift you up or hold you back? What are those words that continue to ring in your heart? And in your spirit? When you think about yourself and how you impact this world? What are those words that you continue to push to try to overcome? when really they were never the truth about you? What is in your pet backpack? What norms have you learned from family and others that you may not even realize you carry? But you still carry and they are weighing you down? What are your cultural norms that continue to hold you one of my cultural norms was I always felt like I had to be 10 times better. And I know where that comes from. I understand. Being a black woman, a professional black woman, I've always been taught that I have to be 10 times better while I look around and my colleagues around me don't always have that same standard that they live by. And what I've found is I hold myself to a much higher standard than I hold people around me. So I have decided to be a little more fair to me not to let go of my standard of excellence not to stop showing up in the way that I do. But the pushing to go beyond what's reasonable. I'm no longer willing to push myself beyond what's reasonable. I've learned that I can say no, and still be okay. I've learned that I can disappoint people and we can still be okay or they can decide that it doesn't work for them and it's still okay, what's in your bag. Peck What are you carrying? That has such an impact on you that you can't be free. The first strategy is to check your backpack. Our second strategy is to build your boundaries. Now, let me say something about boundaries. Friends. I'm not talking about a cute boundary that you heard on the social media and you want to write it in your cute journal, I'm talking about boundaries that you have the fortitude to hold, because boundaries are not just a fad, they are safety. Your boundaries will keep you safe if people continue to infringe on your time and your heart and your emotions. And your effort is because you have no fence. So they have access to you in ways and spaces that they should not have access. You probably heard me say this before, but I believe boundaries are like a fortress, right? I believe boundaries are like the walls of an ancient city, and not to keep you isolated. But to give you control over who or what has access to your soul. You need boundaries, and you need boundaries that you will hold. And in order to hold those boundaries, they need to be connected to what matters most to you. What are you unwilling to lose? Once you establish what you're unwilling to lose, then you will know what to connect your boundaries to, you got to build some boundaries, you got to build some safety. And you have to respect the boundaries that you build. Don't expect other people to respect your boundaries. If you don't respect them. First, you go first round, you go first. And the final strategy that I want to share with you today is discover your brilliance. So baggage, boundaries and brilliance. You've got to discover your brilliance. When I say brilliance, I'm talking about that innate value, that innate and unique value that you bring to the world that like nobody else. One of the reasons that we find ourselves burnt out is because we're trying to do all of the things, instead of the thing that we were created to do, there's a thing that you do, like nobody else, there is a thing that you are not just do, it's what you are that like nobody else and you do it without a lot of effort. And that's why you don't place value on it. Because you assume because it's easy for you, it must be easy for everybody else. And friend, that's not true. It's easy for you because it's your bound. It's your brilliance, it's your thing that you are brought to this earth to share. You've got to discover your brilliance, you've got to know your value, you need to know what you bring to the table so that you can articulate it to others. Before anybody else can value you, you have to value you. There's a value. There's a brilliance, there's a purpose that you bring to this world that you bring to your career field that you bring to your community like nobody else. And when you show up in your brilliant friend, the impact that you have on the community and the people around you, there are no words to describe the impact that you bring when you show up in your brilliance. And when you show up in your brilliance, you don't have to overwork. You don't have to say yes, more than you say no, you don't have to overperform you can just be who you are. And bring your bread best to the table because it's who you are. So friend, these three strategies that we worked through together, and we'll continue to discuss in more detail. I want you to think about these strategies, I want you to think about how you can check your backpack, how you need to build your boundaries to protect what matters most to you, and how you can discover your brilliance, your innate unique value, that purpose that was created in you that was God given that you didn't make up, but you just do without thinking about it. You need to lead with your brilliance lead with brilliance, let your brilliance go first and you won't have to worry about overworking. If you will embrace these three strategies in your life. Not only will you recover from burnout, but you can disrupt the cycles of burnout in your life, so you never have to hit rock bottom again. Listen, friend. I know that this was a quick overview, but we're gonna keep working through this together. I don't know if I've told you but I'm writing a book on these strategies because I want want you to understand them, and I want you to put them into action in your life, because I am a witness and I have evidence of other witnesses that this makes all the difference. So let's do this. Let's go deeper into checking our baggage, building our boundaries, and discovering our brilliance so that we can disrupt burnout once and for all. And love our work again. You deserve All right friends, that's all I got for you. I'll see you next time. Now hold on frame before you go. I want you to share this episode with somebody in your life who you know needs it. And you know, we can't leave without this. I always have to remind you and need to remind you, you are powerful. You are significant. And you are loved. Love always PBJ