95. Learn to Trust Yourself with Evelyn LeVasseur

Welcome to Disrupting Burnout - a podcast where we beat burnout so that you can love your career again! 

This week on Disrupting Burnout, I’m joined by Evelyn LeVasseur, a Woman Who Defines Disruption by helping women recognize the greatness of who they are from within.  

Evelyn is an Anti-Diet Wellness coach and transformational speaker. She guides clients in shifting the focus from chasing a perfect body, to healing their relationship with food, re-learning to trust their instinct and intuition, and laying a solid foundation of health for generations to come. 

It’s Time To Disrupt Burnout:

04:45 - From Fear To Freedom

11:00 - Evelyn’s Transformation To Truth

18:10 - From Chasing To Knowing

31:05 - Trust Yourself & Show Yourself Compassion

46:10 - Find Health Your Way

Learn to Trust Yourself Takeaways
●      “If we sat in a room together, the two of us, in silence, that’s enough.” - Evelyn LeVasseur

●      “Just show up, just be you.” - Evelyn LeVasseur

●      “I cannot want more for my daughters than I want for myself.”  

●      “The more that I fall deeply in love with myself, the easier I am to love.” - Evelyn LeVasseur

●      “Any change done in fear cannot last. Love is the source of true transformation.”  - Evelyn LeVasseur

●      “Your character is your legacy.”  - Evelyn LeVasseur 

●      “Focus on who you want to be and live today, like her.” - Evelyn LeVasseur 

●      “Every word that I speak is a seed.” - Dr. PBJ

●      “Recognize the good when it hits you.” - Evelyn LeVasseur   

●      “A good coach doesn’t give you the answers, they help you find them.” - Evelyn LeVasseur  

Connect With Evelyn:
Instagram: @itsevelynlevasseur | https://www.instagram.com/itsevelynlevasseur/

Website: https://evelynlevasseur.com/

Work with Evelyn: https://evelynlevasseur.com/apply

Counseling Resources:
●      https://openpathcollective.org/

●      https://therapyforblackgirls.com/

●      https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

●      The Potter’s House Center for Counseling and Behavioral Health

○      1-214-333-6483 

○      counselinginformation@tdjakes.org

○      Offers free virtual counseling resources to more than 30 states within the US. Contact them for more information.

Let’s Connect
●               To connect with Dr. PBJ, go topatricebucknerjackson.com

●               Need a dynamic transformational speaker?  Dr. PBJ is ready to serve.  Check outDr. PBJ Speaks | https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/speaking

Support the show

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

the more that I fall deeply in love with myself, the easier I am to love, and that's what I want. That's what I want for my girls. I mean, i know that people say constantly I will die for my children. But I'm gonna ask you are you living for them? ["Darkness"].

Speaker 2: 0:26

Hey, hey, hey everybody, I'm Dr Jackson, But you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Disrupting Burnout, where we are meeting another powerful woman who defines disruption, Y'all. It's one thing in particular that I've learned in this season of my life, and that is we were not created to do life alone. I have been blessed to walk with phenomenal women It's almost like I don't have an appropriate adjective to describe these women connecting with women who are like-minded, like-hearted, who truly, truly celebrate each other and want each other to win, but also we feel and experience the power from each other. It has transformed my life And today I have the opportunity to introduce you all to another one of my sisters, another phenomenal, powerful woman that I have had the honor of walking with and getting to know and being impacted by, And I want you all to experience this power Evelyn Lavassa. She is an anti-diet warrior, a mama, a wife, just a powerful woman, And it is my honor to introduce Evelyn to you all today. Evelyn, welcome to Disrupting Burnout.

Speaker 1: 2:02

I am so incredibly excited to be here. And after that introduction, let me tell you you got me floating a little bit.

Speaker 2: 2:08

I'm a woman. Listen, it's the truth. It's the truth I want you to know. Every time you speak, every time you show up, there's a power that you bring to the room And it's hard to describe, but it's almost like there's a shaking that happens when you stand up and when you speak up for us and with us in our groups and in our chats and in our conversations, and I just need you to know how powerful you are and how transformational you are, and just by sharing space with you, my life is better And I'm so grateful.

Speaker 1: 2:47

I mean, what a beautiful thing, right? What a beautiful thing to hear someone speak about you Being someone who never saw that about myself, who didn't recognize it, who questioned everything about myself, to hear you say that, just, it just continues to breathe life into me. And it's funny, even when I started to recognize a little bit of how I can impact and start to recognize the way. Now I can say that I see how I can see women sit a little taller when we talk. I can see them walk away feeling a little bit better about who they are, because I recognize that one of my gifts is just allowing people to be zero judgment, zero expectation, just see you, love you, feel you and know that we're connected. Right. But once I recognize that, I even can say that for a long time I feared it because there was a piece of me that felt like my mental and emotional elevation was happening so quickly that I was afraid to leave behind the life that I built Like wow, to just feel insignificant, to feel so significant that both ends of the spectrum excuse me, spectrum like cast fear on me. But also recognizing now that that fear, regardless on which end I was in, was all rooted in my disconnect.

Speaker 2: 4:41

Oh my gosh. Okay, hold on. Hold on, because we're in here now. We're in here now, Okay. So you just identified a couple things that I have to highlight. First of all, having the space to just be, just be. Not to perform, not to achieve, not to be a certain thing or a certain person or in a certain way, but just to be, just to be and be good enough and be loved and be celebrated and be honored just because you're present. That's it, that's just. Our culture has not taught women in particular, that we can just show up to be. We have to show up to engage, we have to show up to serve, we have to show up to act, we have to show up to achieve. We have to show up 10 times better. So to have a space in a person where you can just be, that's a gift. It's priceless.

Speaker 1: 5:52

It feels like a gift and I fully recognize that it is my gift, because it is exactly what I needed. I'm able to provide that to other people because I know what it feels like to not have it. Just to recognize that we all listen. If we sat in a room together, the two of us in silence, that's enough. You don't have to say a word, you don't have to act a certain way. Just show up, just be you like that. Just be you And that's enough.

Speaker 2: 6:32

And that's enough. That brought tears to my eyes when you said if we were just in a room together and not saying a word, we don't know how to just be. We've been conditioned to perform. We've been conditioned to have the right words, the right thing to do, the right thing to say. So in this conversation, we encourage all of you just to be, just be. Evelyn, you also spoke about the fear of transition. You spoke about feeling insignificant and very significant at the same time, and I need to honor that. I need to pause there and honor that, because you don't expect right, like if you haven't been in this place. You're not quite sure what that feeling is, but you beautifully articulated when you were transitioning specifically into living in purpose, when you were starting to recognize who God created you to be and the gifts on the inside of you and how you impact the world. There is this dichotomy of I am nobody and, oh my gosh, this thing is powerful. There's this. It's almost like a dance, you know, a bridge that you're holding on to what you thought you were, your thoughts of who you were before, and then reaching towards what you see now, and both of those things can bring fear. That's powerful.

Speaker 1: 8:18

And that small, small voice in your mind that's always questioning like who do you think you are? Like you think you see greatness, Where does that come in from? Who told you that? But that's the disconnect, right. That's the fear, that's the messaging, that's other people's thoughts, that's other people's fears, that's other people's stories that I was carrying. Because, the truth is, if I was able to shut all that noise down, what was left was me and who God told me I am. You know, if I could stop expecting people to see me a certain way, stop being attached to how they receive me, stop being attached to what their opinions may be, stop comparing myself to who someone else is and just sit in silence. I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know how to just Sit with myself, sit with my thoughts, not other people's thoughts, because sometimes, even when you're sitting in silence, what's floating through your mind is other people's thoughts, other people's opinions and expectations. Finally, learning to ask myself in every situation is this thought even mine? Where did that come from? Learning to do that and truly connect with me, it takes you from fear to freedom.

Speaker 2: 10:07

That's good. That's good. So, stopping to investigate the thought, not just to accept it because it came, not to continue to give it power right, because it's a thought but analyze the thought, investigate the thought. what is the root of this? What is the source of this? Is this my thought and is it truth? Because that's two different things One, did it come from me? One, and even if it did come from me, is it truth? Is it truth? And then that takes you from fear to freedom. Evelyn Lavasser oh no let's just pause for a minute because I need you to tell the people who you are. We just hopped in. This is already good, but they need to know who you are. Please tell your story.

Speaker 1: 11:05

All right, i am Evelyn Lavasser and I am a certified nutrition coach, personal trainer. For a very long time I did specifically nutrition and personal training coaching. I will tell you, as a child I was that kid who got really good grades, was very athletic in build and that's what I was complimented on. It didn't matter that I was a great person, it didn't matter that I was a great student. I constantly got drilled into my head, specifically by women, that I was lucky to have a small waist, i was lucky to have a small frame And even though as a little girl it kind of didn't make sense, right When I wasn't really exposed to the outside world and I didn't really know, like what the heck does it mean to have to be lucky, there was still a connection being formed in my mind that in order to receive those accolades I needed to maintain that frame right. So when I went away to college and I gained that freshman 15, i felt like who am I If I don't have that body? who am I? And that kind of started my spiral in dieting, because of course, i didn't recognize at the time that my outsides were a reflection of my insides. I just thought, let me follow what somebody tells me to eat. If PBJ tells me to eat this, this is what I'm doing because I can trust her, but I can't trust me right. So, diet after diet after diet, constantly thinking there's something wrong with the food, there's something wrong with my self-control. I have no discipline, all the things. Until I married my husband at 27 years old truly my best friend on the planet And he wanted kids immediately. I was a little hesitant at first, but once we made that decision, becoming a mother was very difficult. I suffered loss after loss. One was very late in my pregnancy, almost midway, and not only did that send me into a negative mental and emotional spiral, it furthered the disconnect. Like I felt my body changed. I felt the baby move right And then there was no baby. So, along with having to go through trying to reconnect with my body, trying to figure out what was happening without taking all the blame, trying to make sure that my marriage was okay, during that time, there was also the peace of me that felt so strongly that I was meant to be a mother, and I remember praying to God and saying if you grant me this blessing, i will not just be a good mother, i will be an exceptional one. I will make sure to raise my daughters to feel the things that I never felt. I will give them the power and security and love of self. And when I had my baby girl in 2009 and she cried, it was like I was breathing for the first time in nine months. It was like that I held my breath through that pregnancy And when she actually cried, my heart said she's real and thank you. So it was that that started my transformation mentally, because I started to recognize that strong, self loving women would not be bred from my insecurity And I needed to do some serious internal work if I wanted to raise these women to be who God called them to be. So my transition started there. My mental transition started there in recognizing that I cannot want more for my daughters than I want for myself. I cannot expect them to grow up living true to who they are if I refuse to do that for myself. How can I say to them I trust you, i love you, you can be anything you want to be, but I can't, i can't breathe life into them and then suck it out of myself. If I want, if I want all the things that I want for them, then I damn well better be willing to live it, show it and prove to them that this is how you live not survive, not exist, not be according to other people's expectations, but really live. And I just just yesterday, honestly I had this thought that the more that I fall deeply in love with myself, the easier I am to love. And that's what I want, that's what I want for my girls. I mean, i know that people say constantly I will die for my children, but I'm gonna ask you, are you living for them? And I know that I finally am. So my work, my life, my faith, my relationship with my children, my relationship with my husband and my relationship with myself is, for the first time in my life, rooted in connection with myself, connection with my gut instinct, connection with my God-given intuition, with no expectation of the outcome. And that's what I now do. I don't do nutrition, coaching and personal training anymore. I help women instead stop chasing that smaller version of themselves and start recognizing the greatness they already are.

Speaker 2: 17:08

Okay, oh my gosh. You said the more I fall in love with myself, the easier I am to love. So many of us are willing to die for our children, but are we willing to live for them? Evelyn? how do we start to make that transition? If we have lived a lifestyle of distrust in ourselves, if we have lived a lifestyle of hanging on the words of every other person and doing all the things well, first of all, let's just say that following other people will have you going in a million different directions, because everybody has something different to say And there are plenty of people who are ready to tell you what you need to do with your life, right? So what is the first step of moving away from that chasing to the knowing?

Speaker 1: 18:15

The very, very first step is recognizing that your gut is telling you that there's something more for you. When you start to get that little nudge that says this doesn't feel right, this doesn't feel like enough, i'm exhausted, i'm burnt out, i am overwhelmed. I like that. That is your nudge, that is your body. Your body is screaming to you do something different. We need something different. That's the first nudge. Even recognizing that, just the recognition starts to change the way you're thinking. Because the thing is, this is what we don't recognize When we think change is gonna happen quickly and we're gonna get to this end goal and we're just gonna feel great. But the truth is that our mind, our heart and our body are always speaking to us, always speaking to us, and just that nudge in and of itself, is the seed you need to take the next step. So first recognize the nudge right And then start asking the questions. What feels off? What feels different? If I had no rules in the world and I would never feel like I'd let anybody down what would be different? What could I possibly? what do I even want? What do I even need? What do I desire? Do I even know what I like? Or am I living according to what everyone else needs? Do I even know myself? And I think asking those questions can open up a can of worms. A can of worms, but I think then you know, you recognize the disconnect, you recognize that something is different. You start asking yourself the hard questions and I think the next steps are to get support. And I don't mean necessarily some people will say you know therapy is expensive and I understand that it is expensive But also, if you're not ready for a financial investment in yourself, like a therapist or a coach or a community like you and I are in, if you're not ready for that, start by listening to podcasts, start by reading books. Like investments don't always have to be hugely financial, but the thought of you waking up in the morning and listening to a podcast that makes you feel good inside, that gives you some actionable steps to make change in your life, the connection you are making with yourself can't be turned off, and not to mention, just doing something small like listening to a podcast helps you start to build that trust muscle. Like look at me. I want different. I'm taking action for different. Look at me showing up for myself. And I think there's another level to that, in that there's so much of us that questions everything about ourselves and our thoughts And when you really get into it and you really start analyzing your life and analyzing your choices, you will see that you have way more examples of how you are trustworthy than how you're not.

Speaker 2: 21:39

Yeah, yeah. So let's, let's take it back, because I want to walk through these steps, and you mentioned the first step. Is that nudge right, that discomfort, that that? so your soul is crying out to you here in the heart work strategies. We call that your tail. Tell, what is your tail? How is your body, your mind, your heart, the heart that beats with the heart, that feels relationships, and your environment speaking to you And the whole speaks to you and, just like you said, like our bodies are miracles, they have a way of giving us a warning sign. It's like red lights flashing, like this is not working. This is not who you were created to be. You are forcing yourself into a space that was not created for you. This is not in alignment. This is not a fit. Our bodies have a way. I speak to women who walk around with lower back pain all day long, or tension, headaches or migraines, or they can't eat, or they eat too much, or they can't sleep, or they sleep too much, and we push those nudges away. I don't have time to deal with that. I don't have time to go to the doctor. I don't have time. Well, the doctor didn't know what it was, so I don't have to. I just got to push through, i just got to take the medicine or I just got to. We keep a pharmacy in our purses When it that is not what your body is telling you. There is no pain reliever that's going to relieve that pressure, because it's not physical. It's a physical manifestation, but the source is not physical. The source is your body is speaking to you, Your whole soul is speaking to you, screaming at you, crying, asking you to please pay attention.

Speaker 1: 23:46

That speaks so clearly to that disconnect that we're constantly trying to find the answer outside of ourselves. And I equate that. I literally equate that to would you buy a home, a house that is crumbling at the foundation, and ignore that and hire an interior decorator and a landscaper Like why would you invest so much time and energy to a house that's going to fall? Where? if you are going to the gym and you're going to the pharmacy and collecting all your medications, like again, these are outside sources. If you're following the accounts online that are telling you all the changes that you need to make outside of your body, you may see some change in the short term, but you'll always end up back at square one, because it is the foundation that is screaming for your help, not the exterior.

Speaker 2: 24:53

Evelyn, you said something to me a couple of weeks ago that I haven't been able to let go of. I was talking about my own journey towards health and wellness And you said and this is not exact phrase, but you said something to the fact of any change done in fear cannot last. You said only only love. Love is the source of true transformation. Tell us more about that, and I probably jacked it up, but tell, tell us more about that, because I haven't been able to let that go.

Speaker 1: 25:30

I think I know you paraphrased perfectly. The fact is that so many of us start trying to make change physically to our bodies because we hate what we see right, that immediately there is taking action in hate, in loathing, in disgust, and those feelings will never be met with positive change, because anytime you don't meet a goal, however realistic it may be, you will feel like a failure And that just perpetuates that feeling of negativity and disgust and distrust and disconnection. It is when you start to stop focusing on what you look like and really put some clout in who you are and start recognizing that your character will your character will shine on Your character. Is your legacy right? That will outlive your body. Any day. When I leave this earth, i know that my body will not be mentioned. Nobody cares about that, but they certainly care about how I make them feel, they certainly care about how I show up. So when you start recognizing that who you are is way more important than what you look like, you start to make decisions for yourself because you know you deserve it. You start to make decisions knowing how great you wanna feel. You start to make decisions slowly, steadily and sustainably, instead of being rooted in hate and saying I need to lose 40 pounds because I'm gross. You start to say to yourself I'm gonna have this delicious salad with chicken and chickpeas, or whatever it may be, for lunch today, because, wow, this is delicious And I really feel good. When I finish eating this, my body feels light but comfortable. I feel like I wanna go for a walk. I feel like I can handle going for a walk right. So it is taking away that long-term disgust and the goal totally rooted in who you don't wanna be and focusing on who you want to be and living today like her Come on, come on, Focus on who you want to be and living today like her, that's right.

Speaker 2: 28:06

Not waiting until one day when you get to blah blah. No, i'm her today, that's right. I am healthy today. I am strong today. I am capable today. I am bold today. I'm full of purpose today. What does a purposeful woman look like? Yes, how does a purposeful woman live? Because that's who I am. Mm-hmm, oh my gosh. Listen, i know it's been a while since I came to you in this way, but I've got something to share with you. You all know that I'm in the process of writing this book and as I'm doing this, there are strategies and ideas and thoughts that are coming to me that I've never had, and I'm so full. I can't wait to get it to you, and the book is coming this year, but I can't wait until then. I'm seeing the evidence in my life and in the lives of folks that I'm coaching one-on-one, and God has laid it on my heart to create something for folks who may be interested in one-on-one coaching, but you can't afford it. It doesn't fit into your budget, or maybe you're curious about coaching, but you've never had that experience before. This is for folks who feel like you're marching in place, like you're putting in all the effort but you're not moving forward. You feel buried and you're ready to move into brilliance. I'm ready to share. I've got some strategies. I've got some things to work through with you. Listen, friends, this is not gonna be fancy. There's no fancy sales page, there's no course platform. This is gonna be us needing, once a month, through Zoom, for me to pour out to you what I have and to support you in your journey. That's it. That's it. This is 40, not 40,. This is 30, 30 bucks a month, and there has to be some kind of investment, or I've learned that people don't show up right, but at that level, you deserve $30 a month. You can find $30 a month. So if you have wanted to work with me but just couldn't find it in your budget, if you've been curious about coaching and just not sure if it was a good fit for you, jump in on the Heartwork Academy 2023. I have, even if we worked together before a friend, you ain't seen this yet. You haven't seen this yet. I am so ready, i'm so full and I'm ready to share with you and I'm ready to support you. Okay, so listen, if you're interested, join with the link here. Fill out the form, Join us in the Heartwork Academy. We'll kick off in May. We'll meet once a month on Zoom And we're gonna walk this thing out together. Nothing fancy, but let's just get it done. It's time for you to live in brilliance. You need to know what it means to show up in purpose every day, and I'm ready to help you. All right, i can't wait to hear from you and I'm excited to serve you. I'll see you soon. Bye, y'all.

Speaker 1: 31:06

I used to judge my younger self, right. I used to be mad at her, almost saying, like how did you get to this point? You know, when you're, my body is heavier. Even now, today, my body is heavier than it has been in a long time. I will preface that by saying I had a major surgery a year and a half ago, But I will also say that even though I had a very muscular frame and right now it is soft, I feel nothing about that. Come on, I feel I feel beautiful, I love me, I love this body, I love this vessel, right, But I used to judge myself and I used to think like you were at a certain point how could you let that go? Why would you do that to yourself? Now? look at all the work that you have to do, right, Yeah, But I can finally say, oh gosh, I hold so much compassion for Evelyn 15 years ago. That woman, that woman survived so that I can thrive, And if I can show her compassion, then I have to show me compassion And I actually can shift my perspective and start to think. If Evelyn 15 years ago paved the way for this woman that I love today, imagine what Evelyn today is doing for Evelyn five years from now.

Speaker 2: 32:41

And I am excited for her.

Speaker 1: 32:43

I am excited for her. So it is literally the disconnect, the expectation, the living, the way other people want us to live that keeps us feeling so horribly about ourselves when, really, if you can start to get even an inkling of the power that is within you, that power feels so strong that those other feelings have to drop off. They have to. They can't sustain themselves in your body because you are so full of love and light and acceptance. Those negative feelings may occasionally pop up, but they can't take root anymore. They can't.

Speaker 2: 33:27

That's Bible. That's Bible. The Bible talks about you can tell a tree by the fruit of bears, right? So whatever we sow, that's what we're going to get. So earlier, when you were saying if I start with, i'm going on type because I hate this body and I hate where I am in my life and I'm so angry with my younger self that I didn't make, how did I get here? Ba ba, ba you. Those are the seeds that you're planting. So you can only get you can only get a harvest of hate, because that's what you sowed. So the outcome is secure. You know what the outcome is going to be. But if I go out into my garden today and I sow an apple seed, there is no need for me to expect oranges, right? So I sowed apples, right. So we've got to recognize and I think that's one of the things, one of the most powerful shifts that I'm making in my life I'm recognizing that every word that I speak is a seed Everywhere, even to me, not just to other people, but to me. Every word that I speak is a seed And I cannot expect a different harvest if I'm sowing the wrong thing. So I have to consider what I am saying to and about me. To and about PBJ 15 years ago. To and about PBJ yesterday. To and about PBJ today. To and about PBJ 10 years from now. I love the way that you recognize and I need to say it so that people hear it Whoever you were 10 years ago got you here today. That's right, you are still here And they did the best that they could with the information that they had. I had Tanya Bailey-Jones, one of our sisters, on the podcast and she talked about how her therapist told her not to use the wisdom of 50-year-old Tanya against 17-year-old Tanya. That's powerful. That's not fair. That's not fair. That's like me looking at my baby girl who's 20-something years younger than me and saying you should do better, you should know what I know. I would never do that to her Because I recognize she's in a different stage and she's learning and growing in her wisdom. I would never expect her to respond the same way I do right now. So why would I expect that of 20-year-old PBJ? 20-year-old PBJ.

Speaker 1: 36:08

I mean. what you're literally saying is that you're removing expectations and allowing her to just be, And I hope that you recognize the mother that you are and the gift that you're giving her and teaching her to just trust her instinct above all else, even yours.

Speaker 2: 36:30

Yeah, yeah. Can we talk about giving our babies the freedom to trust themselves? Talk to us a little bit about that.

Speaker 1: 36:47

I feel like this one is a. This conversation is something that is very near and dear to me, because doing the work on myself has taught me about the living and breathing and loving and accepting that I want for my daughters. But I had to recognize also, as parents, when we try to kind of push our kids in a certain direction or we try to get them to make decisions the way that we do, that is still our fear. Being in the driver's seat, our fear for what could happen to them, our fear and I get it like those are very valid fears, yeah. But also we have to make a choice at some point to put our fears aside and to teach them that they are worthy of that acceptance. They are worthy of listening to who they already are. I talk to my daughters. I talk to them very plainly and very clearly. My 14 year old is going to high school this year and when she brings things up to me which I love that I've created the space that she can do that, both of them. But I will say to her listen, yes, i was 14, right, i was 14 once. Because so many parents say like, don't try to pull one over on me, i was 14 once, but I was never the mother to a 14 year old before. So when you're going through something, i need you to give me some grace and patience too, because I'm figuring this out with you. That's good. I've never done this before. I am new to this. I am new to this, so I think that This is my ultimate lesson for myself. I used to think that I had to do everything to ensure that my children would have the best chance of fighting in life. Right, yeah, to arm them with all the things I thought that they needed, but ultimately, my goal has to be to raise them to not need me to raise them to trust their instinct over everyone else's, because I won't be here forever And I can't fix things for them forever. Self-trust is something that you and I have had to work hard at, yeah, but imagine the leaps and bounds they could make in their life if they grow up with it. Yeah, they don't have to unlearn our lessons If they don't have to try and reconnect with their intuition, because we allowed them to do so. That is a gift, and I feel like that is literally what will cause that wave in other women. Our children will be disruptors. Our children will help other women see themselves. Our daughters are going to step out into this world as the light that they are, an acceptance of who they are, and they're going to give other women permission to do the same. So it literally shows that the work that we're doing is impacting generations. The work that we're doing on ourselves is leaving a mark on women that we will never know.

Speaker 2: 40:24

Yeah, so let's keep walking through it. So I recognize the nudges, i recognize in my body, in my mind, in my heart, like the signs, the tells right, and then I start questioning those where is this coming from? What is this about? What is the source of this? How am I speaking to myself? And then I get some support, so a coach or a counselor, or a pocket. And let me just say this because counseling can be expensive, but it doesn't have to be, because oftentimes our insurance from work will cover therapy as well. And if you don't have that privilege, there are some agencies that offer a sliding scale and they're even free resources And we will put some in the show notes. But I just I don't want you to pass on it, assuming, because that's what I did for 20 years, i just assume, well, i can't afford that right now, i'll do it later. I can't afford that right now. And when I did it, i didn't even have to pay a dime. Beautiful, because my insurance covered it, but I just assumed that it would be too expensive. So I just want to say that you need support, you need a community, you need a coach, you need a therapist. So to help through this, because if you've thought this way, if you have had distrust of yourself all of your life 20, 30, 40, 50 years then it's not going to go away overnight. You're relearning. Yes, having some support in that relearning process is so important.

Speaker 1: 42:15

I think it's important to recognize also I apologize To recognize also that I feel like we have this idea that we need support when we're in struggle, when sometimes or not sometimes. It's also important to recognize that you still need community and you still need the therapist and you still need to continue to just pour positivity into your mind, even when you're winning. Don't just reach for help and look out for other people when you're struggling. Do it when you're smiling, do it when you're feeling amazing, because the more that you expose your mind and heart to the beauty that life is, the more you attract that. I literally see growth. I see growth as a repellent to the things I don't want in my life and the natural attraction to the things that do. The more that I pour into myself, the less the negativity comes to me. Or if it does, i don't know, maybe I'm like oil it slides right away And the good things they just keep coming. They just keep coming at me And I have to also recognize that. You have to be able to recognize the good when it hits you.

Speaker 2: 43:37

Yes, yes, and it keeps evolving. So the good. and when you started with nutrition coaching and that wasn't wrong, like you weren't wrong You were doing exactly what you were supposed to do in that season. And now you are transitioning to a different level of coaching and a different space of coaching, and this is not wrong either. This is appropriate for the season that you're in and the people that you're called to serve. And as you are evolving as purpose is evolving, you need that community around you where you can come and say hey, i'm having this thought And your community is like yes, yes, ma'am, that's it. Yep, you're right where you're supposed to be Because, first of all, we weren't created to live in isolation. We're human beings, we are packed creatures, we were created to protect each other and to grow together and support each other. But also, when you're by yourself, our coach says all the time you can talk your way in and talk your way out, talk your way in and talk your way out. So you need a community, as you are evolving and as you are moving through, to support you as you become the next version of you And the next version of you, and knowing that none of those versions are wrong.

Speaker 1: 45:09

I think there's such a big fear, too, of reaching out for community because there's the fear of judgment, there's the fear of I don't want to let people down Or I don't want them to see the real me. They won't like what they see because I don't like what I see. But I think that in being in community and finding people that share your heart, you start to see that, regardless, our stories are all different, but our pain is the same And there is sisterhood in that. Just knowing that someone feels what you feel makes you feel covered, like the community feels like a hug, it feels like a blanket, it feels like you're going to be OK and I got you.

Speaker 2: 46:05

Yeah, that's so good And it's so important. So, evelyn, how do you help women begin? So I've paid attention to the nudges. I know that I need to be in alignment. I know I need to make this transition. How do you help women start trusting and paying attention to their own intuition and their own bodies, and what's inside as opposed to external?

Speaker 1: 46:33

When I work with my clients, we're doing both things simultaneously. We're starting to I guide them through asking those difficult questions and coming up with the difficult answers. I do a lot of questioning because I really believe a good coach doesn't give you the answers. They help you find them because that's where you get your trust, that's where you get your connection. So I ask lots and lots of questions. We're going to get to the root of these things that you're struggling with and also recognize that you're always going to need to be asking more questions. We're not here for all-encompassing transformation that never has to be touched again, like we're elevating, and that requires continued growth. But then, with that mental aspect is also the physical aspect. I start teaching them tools and tricks for their daily lives to start making those physical, mental and emotional connections, to reconnect their mind and their bodies. Because when you're able to recognize my body is saying this this is actually what I need, this is what makes me feel good, then the mental and physical shifts happen simultaneously. That's what I do more than anything is help women make that connection to their instinct and intuition and find health their way.

Speaker 2: 48:04

So good To give some examples I recognized through coaching. I recognized that I wasn't even paying attention to my own hunger cubes. I was taught to finish your plate period, Like there are starving children somewhere in this world and you need to finish everything on your plate. And here I am in my 40s, still finishing everything on my plate, because that's what I was taught to do. And through coaching I became more aware of my own hunger cubes And when my body was truly saying either I'm thirsty or I'm hungry, and then we're good, we're full, that's enough. Another example is maybe you're in a meeting or you're thinking about starting a project or a collaboration and your body, like, all of a sudden you lose your voice or you get a headache or you get tension. Your body is telling you this ain't it, friend, this is not for you, this is not a fit. But we have not been taught to pay attention, We've not been taught And the opposite, we've been taught to distrust. Like, take something to get rid of the headache, straighten up your body so that the pain goes away. But it's literally your body telling you this is a yes, this is a no, this does not feel good. So I just wanted to give some specific examples of how our body speaks to us on a daily basis and how we might be missing those cues and those answers because we're not paying attention.

Speaker 1: 49:54

Yes, i think yeah, And you said it perfectly that we were trained to distrust ourselves. We were trained to disconnect because, also, i feel like health and connection, physical connection, are an issue for everyone, but I feel the way that the disconnect is ingrained in women is very, very different. Not only were we taught to distrust our body cues and our gut instincts, we were taught to silence them. We were taught that even when that alarm is going off in your head, you need to shut it down in the name of being accepted, in the name of not causing an issue for other people. We were taught to embrace our discomfort as long as other people weren't uncomfortable. My goodness. We were taught that the ultimate show of love toward other people is to completely neglect ourselves.

Speaker 2: 50:59

Come on.

Speaker 1: 51:00

Like if I am doing everything for my husband and I'm taking care of my children and I'm driving myself crazy taking care of this house and working full time, if I am burnt out and exhausted and bone tired, then I'm doing it right. Those lessons were not handed down to men. Those are ours. But also I always feel like when I recognize the lessons that don't serve me, i feel empowered in knowing I get to do something different. It's as easy as making a choice. Yeah, this is not for me. I'm gonna do it differently.

Speaker 2: 51:45

That's so good, that's so good. I was with a group of women last week doing a workshop. We were working through burnout and they identified as they were telling their tales. I asked them I said do your male colleagues experience the same consequences? And it was an overwhelming no. No, they don't. And I'm sure men have their own struggles. But for our conversation today, you are right. There are lessons that have been passed down to women in our culture that are literally killing us.

Speaker 1: 52:24

Yes, yes, literally stress is a killer And we wear it like a cape.

Speaker 2: 52:33

Like a badge of honor. The more busy, the more stressed I am, the better woman. That's a lie from the pits of hell. We're not having. That We're not having. You are too valuable. When you think about what's valuable in your life, you protect that right. Like there's some jewelry that I have. It's cute, but I'll just put it in an armoire, i'm not worried about it. There's some jewelry that I still have the box it came in, that I have the insurance, that I have the paperwork, that I put it in a specific place when I take it off because it is valuable. Anything that is valuable to you, you protect And we've got to learn how to protect ourselves. Okay, evelyn, we've got to let the folks go, but this is so good. Can you give us one practical thing? So for the woman who's listening right now and says, hey, i didn't even realize. I haven't been trusting myself, i don't pay attention to me, all of my attention is external And I don't pay attention to me, can you give us just one practical thing that that woman can do today to start learning to?

Speaker 1: 53:55

trust herself. I think she should pull out her journal and ask one question, and this question is who am I? And just free right, just free, right. who am I? No judgment, no judgment of whatever comes out in that pen. But then keep answering it tomorrow and keep answering it two days from now. Even if you did that seven days in a row, you will start to recognize a narrative and a disconnect, simply in your writing. And when you're ready for the next step, change that question and ask who do I want to be?

Speaker 2: 54:37

Come on, Ooh, evelyn, this was good. This was good, and I'll say this I can't tell you how many professional accomplishment women I've met who don't know how to answer that question, who have never paused to answer that particular question. I hope you will, friends. I hope you will. Our goal today is to awaken your heart. We want to awaken that intuition that you've been told should lie dormant, should not have a voice, should not speak up. that you should be grateful. We want to poke and prod and set fire to what's on the inside of you, so that you can start hearing your own voice again. Never drowned out again. Never drowned out again. Evelyn, please let folks know how they can connect with you, how they can hear more from you, how they can work with you.

Speaker 1: 55:41

Oh, PBJ, you just lit my whole heart up. I can be found at evlynlevassercom or evlynfitcom both go to the same site. I am on Instagram and Facebook as Evelyn Levasser And I'm actually opening up my new group coaching program And it's called Girl, Mind Your Business.

Speaker 2: 56:03

Come on now What.

Speaker 1: 56:05

I mean by mind. Your business is let go of everybody else's thoughts and expectations and their stories and start connecting to your own. We're going to literally disrupt the industry. Stop chasing the outside, smaller version of ourselves and start showing up in all our greatness. I did just. I want to just say that you mentioned something about gratitude And I hope that everyone understands that you can be grateful and still honor your desires. Those things do not have to be mutually exclusive. I can be grateful for what I have and still want more, and that's okay.

Speaker 2: 56:42

Okay, i'm done. We're just gonna leave it. Just that's it. That's it. Everything that you need to know about evlyn will be in the show notes. Listen, y'all need to get into Girl, mind Your Business. It's time. You've been taking care of everybody else, you've been loving everybody else, you've been listening to everyone else and nobody knows what you need, like you. That's right, because you gotta start learning how to listen to you. So all of the information will be in the show notes. Friends, and as always, evelyn and I want you to know you are powerful, you are significant And you are loved. Love always, pbj. Bye y'all. Picture棧 Elmo.