Join us for a heart-to-heart with the remarkable Dr. Shakesha Costict, a trailblazer in the world of mental health counseling and education. Ever wondered how one can find peace and purpose amidst adversity? Dr. Costict candidly shares her journey, from grappling with her identity to becoming a beacon of hope and strength in her field.
Navigating the landscape of mental health and education, Dr. Costict discusses her evolution from clinician to educator and trainer, revealing a profound passion for teaching and leadership. We take a deep dive into the challenges faced during this transition, the struggle of letting go, and the monumental importance of self-care and compassion. Dr. Costict emphasizes the power of release, reminding us that it's okay to lean on others for support.
In the final act of this inspiring conversation, we explore the liberating sensation of being exactly where we're meant to be, and the profound impact it can have on the future generation. Dr. Costict leaves us with a poignant reminder of our significance, love, and capacity to do impactful work. This episode is a treasure chest of wisdom for anyone seeking to find serenity and purpose in their life journey, or for those who want to gain a deeper understanding of the world of mental health counseling and education. Tune in for an enriching conversation filled with invaluable insights.
Grab a sample chapter of Dr. PBJ's new book, Disrupting Burnout: The Professional Woman's Lifeline to Finding Purpose- https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/book
Meet Dr. Costict
Dr. Shakesha Monique Costict is a Doctor of Philosophy in Counselor Education and Supervision. Dr. Costict is a Washington state licensed mental health counselor, a nationally certified counselor, and a child mental health specialist. In addition to being a mental health counselor, Dr. Costict is a clinical supervisor providing licensure supervision to master’s level counselors. She provides mental health consultation services to community partners and shares valuable resources with individuals seeking mental health services. With a specialization in counselor education and supervision, Dr. Costict’s research focuses on determining whether the stigma associated with seeking mental health services played a role in African Americans becoming mental health counselors. Dr. Costict currently holds the role of teaching faculty to Master’s level counseling students, where the focus is to support the development of mental health counselors through mentorship, faculty, and administrative engagement.
Connect with Dr. Costict
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Hey friends, I am Dr Patrice Buckner Jackson, but you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Disrupting Burnout, where we are equipping educators with the strategy they need to do purposeful work without burning out. And, friends, this month in July, you know that we are honoring specifically educators. We're honoring the folks who teach, who share, who train. I have another educator to introduce you to and I'm so excited for you to meet this powerful woman. So we are having folks who are in the classroom, we're having folks who are on college campuses, we're having folks who are staff, folks who are faculty, folks who are in the administration. Because we are so diverse and varied in the field of education, I wanted to share with you expertise from different perspectives of what they have learned, but also what they are learning about how to keep your peace when you work in education, about how to do the purposeful work without overwhelming burnout. So I'm so excited. I am so excited. I had the honor of meeting this woman in a coaching program and ever since then we've been a part of the same community and it's just an honor. It's an honor to be in her presence, to hear her share. She just brings peace when she speaks, and you'll know what I'm talking about here in a moment, but let me introduce you to Dr Shakisha Monique Kostik. She is a doctor of philosophy in counselor education and supervision. Dr Kostik is a Washington state licensed mental health counselor, a nationally certified counselor and a child mental health specialist. In addition to being a mental health counselor, dr Kostik is a clinical supervisor, providing licensure supervision to master's level counselors. She provides mental health consultation services to community partners and shares valuable resources with individuals seeking mental health services. With the specialization in counselor education and supervision, dr Kostik's research focuses on determining whether the stigma associated with seeking mental health services played a role in African Americans becoming mental health counselors. Ooh, that's good. Dr Kostik currently holds a role of teaching faculty to master's level counseling students, where the focus is to support the development of mental health counselors through mentorship, faculty and administrative engagement. Dr Shakisha Kostik welcome to Disrupting Burnout.Dr. Shakesha Costict:
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. It is such an honor.Dr. Patrice Jackson:
It's such an honor to have you here and I look forward to what you will share. So let's get into it by you telling the people Now. I read your phenomenal bio and I know this is just a snippet. It really is, but tell the people who you are Ooh, all right.Dr. Shakesha Costict:
First and foremost, thinking about that, I'm a child of God and I think that I know that's what outlines who I am, beyond every accolade or any mention of what I do professionally. And after that I'm Dr Shakisha Kostik, and I say that proudly because I, as you know, just starting to get into the feeling of this is who I am Like. It's beyond the profession, it's the work that came up until this point that has allowed me to proudly say, like you've earned this, this is who you are. And I'm just kind of in this place where I'm continuing to learn who I am and to figure out who I am. And but the foundation, the foundation is just kind of being in this place that God has has ordained me to be. Now, like, wherever my foot is, my, whatever my steps are, it's peace and that's who I am. And I've been in this space of just wanting to be peace for anyone that I come in contact with, having the conversation, even with family, about kind of just being this light. And so it's more than just like these things that I can list off. It's beyond just what's in the bio, it's just truly feeling that there's this awareness that's there and that awareness is that I'm peace everywhere I walk is peaceful and I wear that and I carry that proudly.Dr. Patrice Jackson:
Oh, my goodness, you are peace. You are the way that you speak, the sound of your voice, how you show up in the space. You bring you seed, you bring forth peace. That is exactly who you are, and it's so powerful to hear a woman who is as accomplished as you are recognized. Yes, grateful for all of that, yes, I wear it well and at the core of who I am, I am peace and I am light, and we know that you were peace and light before the doctorate. You were peace and light before the faculty appointment. You were peace and light all the years of your life. That is who he created you to be, and so many of us become overwhelmed because we don't know who we are. We've been successful. Success does not equate purpose. There are two different things. You can be successful without knowing who you are, but that success will never have peace until you identify the identity, the true, the core brilliance of who you are. Dr Kostick, talk to us a little bit about your path, because I know that your faculty appointment is relatively new in your life. So how did you get to where you are right now?Dr. Shakesha Costict:
Yeah, and I want to kind of go back for a minute about what you said about this. Just kind of, as of last year, I wasn't sure what my identity was. So I was still in my doctorate program, but I was so unsure and I remember telling my mom I was like I have all of these things that I've done, all of this work, all this clinical practice that I have, yet I still don't feel like I know who I am and I felt on some level like defeated, because I'm like how in the world would I get to this space and not really know who I am? Like I can't articulate that, and so, like, going back a ways I have I always share this like I've never, ever, ever wanted to teach anything, anything Like ever, but I've always found myself in positions of leadership or of development or of training, and it honestly wasn't until like this last year, maybe year and a half, almost two years that I started to fall into this teaching piece and I started to say you know what, maybe there's a little bit of something that's here I like to say like initially, when I went to school as an undergrad, I wanted to be a marine biologist and I ended up a counselor, and so, you know, life happens, things change. But it was really kind of this piece of like with my story and knowing that the field that I'm in is mental health counseling and now I'm a counselor, educator, thinking back on even my childhood, talking about your feelings or talking about, you know, secrets that we hold so tight within our family unit and we don't take the time to express. It wasn't something that happened. It wasn't something that, like, I had never. If I truly think back up until undergrad, I don't think I've ever really heard of anybody say anything about counseling. And now that I think about it, it's so foreign to me, like how in the world did we go through life not talking about this? But that was the time. That was kind of the space that as a community, as an African-American community, that we were in, and if you have had generations of people not having these conversations, then why would I know about it? And so it really wasn't, until I was in my senior year of high school and I took a psychology class and again I went to undergrad to be a marine biologist, but that didn't pan out and there was a counseling course and I was like you know what, let's try it out. And that's what led me on this path of being a counselor. And I practiced clinically for 10 years and so, again, if we kind of move through that space of being a counselor and knowing that kind of going back for my doctor and what that looked like, and even that was someone speaking into me, like there was someone when I was a teenager that said you can go and get your PhD before you're 40 years old, and I was like what even is that? Like I knew nothing. My parents just said you're gonna go to college and I'm like, okay, I guess I'll go for marine biology. Didn't know how anything would get paid for, you know. So there's debt and things like that that have to be, and that's a whole nother thing. Because, again, when you have a system that things aren't talked about and things are unable to be changed, we continue into these different patterns. And so you know, I'm just kind of going through life and I went for my, got my bachelor's, great, All right, maybe I can go back to school, well, and at that time it was like you can't really make a whole lot of money in the counseling pool without having a master's, I mean, still, that's a whole nother topic of conversation. But it was just kind of one of those things All right, well, let's go get your master's. And so I did that. And then I was like, well, what about it? So you know, this was spoken over my life when I was a teenager and now I'm in my late 20s, early 30s like why won't I, why can't I? Like, and again, this piece of no one has done it before me. And so, being like this first time college graduate and then the first one to get a master's, and looking at this space that I'm in now, and knowing that I going through the PhD program, at first it was easy and then it got really hard. And then I started to find myself in a space where, when I was in first grade, my teacher told my mom and my aunt that, paraphrasing, I'm gonna struggle, I'm not going to be able to amount, so a whole lot of anything again, which is another layer of a story that many of our children are told. And knowing that, even when I was in my PhD program, what came up for me? Thinking back to grade school, I had a reading comprehension problem. So, as I was going through this research and trying to really kind of dive deeply into the research and truly understand it. The fear that came up was I don't understand any of this. Why am I even here? Do I even belong, like all of this self doubt? Thankfully, I have a plan, mama and daddy. And there were moments that we all fasted together and we said you're gonna make it through this quarter and I was like all right, god, I don't know how this one work, but we're gonna do it. And throughout that entire time, where the teaching piece comes into play is because for a while, I was struggling, trying to figure out, like, what do I even research? And one thing I knew I didn't know there was research behind it, but what I knew is that within the African-American community, there's stigma there, and what the professors were saying at the time was okay, now back it up, like I already know this, how do I back it up? But again, no one prepared me to go on this journey. So I wasn't sure, like, what to expect. And so, once I really started to dive into and do the research and have the interviews, I learned so much and I again, child of God, person of faith, that's where my foundation is. I also became aware of this piece, that's this underlying piece of especially within some in the African-American community, with the church and with counseling and with the stigma and with we'll take it all to God. Yes, I'm gonna take it all to God. But he also put me in this space to be able to kind of hold a space for those who sometimes feel like they can't pray about it, or they can pray about it but I also. It's almost that analogy of we have a doctor for a reason we can still pray to God to heal us, but we still have a doctor that we still have to go and get a checkup from, and so, kind of putting all of that together, what I found was, as I worked through my doctorate program and I began to even work with master's level students, I said, ooh, there's something here and ooh, there's not really any black people, especially in my area. So I live in the Pacific Northwest, so we're like all the way on the other side of the state and the city that I live in is much less diverse than you know. I'm about four hours from Seattle, so much less diverse than even that side of the state and so, knowing that, okay, there's nobody else that really looks like me that I've been able to come in contact with. So how do I expect to diversify this counseling profession if there's nobody else that looks like me? And so part of the teaching piece came up for me because I wanted to make sure representation was there. And although right before, like two months before I finished school I didn't know I was almost finished I wanted to give all the way up. I said I can't do this, I'm so done. It had been a number of years. And my boyfriend, he was like you can give up? And I said no, I can't. Like why would you say that? And he said, no, you can't. If you want to give up, you can. And I was like you know what? Thanks, because that's what I needed to hear, because no, I can't, I'm too far along this journey. And I know he said that as a way to like give me a kick in the butt like girl, come on. But even that piece, within two months I was finished. And then I was like wow, wow, it's done. And then kind of hearing people just and it wasn't again about like the congratulations, but part of it was because I don't see this. And so the kids around me. They don't see it. And so now I'm in a place where I can go into the classroom and I can authentically be who I am. And that's one thing you told me. I don't think you remember the end of last year and you made a statement about like, and I had it in my mind this morning and of course, I'm gonna forget it right now. But it's really about not losing who I am once I'm in this space of education and higher education and I have to say I am newer to this teaching the faculty piece but it was so refreshing to be in a class and to see students that look like me and to hear one of the students with my natural hair out, to hear one of the students say, wow, and I knew exactly what was. The student wasn't on mute, and so everyone else kind of heard it as well, but I don't think everyone else understood what it meant. And so for me in that moment I was like, okay, I'm exactly, even though I fought this for so many years and but I fought it until I knew that there was a until God released say, okay, it's time. And now that I'm in the place that I'm in, I can see the impact, and that's really what I'm all about when it comes to this teaching and the mentorship piece is impact Like what impact can I have on someone else to be able to kind of help them along their journey?Dr. Patrice Jackson:
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I love how in your story, how you've been led the whole time, even when you felt like you didn't know where you were going, even when you felt like you didn't belong. What does this look like? Is this a thing You've been led all along, from taking the psychology class in high school to taking the counseling class in college, the entire thing to the person saying you can get a doctorate before you're 40, you've been led. You've been led, and that's what I want people to know. Your purpose is not lost. It's not lost, it's right there. Purpose doesn't show up after you get the PhD. Purpose doesn't show up after you get the faculty appointment. Purpose has been throughout your life and it had to be you. It had to be you. When you walk into those spaces and you look around and you don't see anybody who looks like you, the human side says I don't belong here because there's nobody else here like me. But the truth is, you're the one friend, you're the one, you're the one to show up in that space. You are the one to be present, you are the one to be the face so that others might see, so that that student who had that involuntary, automatic wow right, so that student could see you're the one, you're the one that's called to that specific space. So I just appreciate your journey. I appreciate your journey so much and in standing in the space, like all the things work together. So your Christian church background, along with your education, your experience and your skills, you can stand in that space. You can stand in that space and hold hands with the person in the church and say, hey, yes, jesus is a healer and sometimes he heals through these counselors. Sometimes he heals through you making certain decisions for your life. Sometimes he heals through you changing behavior. So, yes, I'm with you, you're right, he is a healer, he's always been a healer. He is the healer and he might want to use this friend right over here. So there are so many therapists, so many counselors in the whole wide world, but there's a specific call upon your life. Even your research is not a coincidence. The research that you do is based on your experience. But watch this you had to have that experience so that you could give voice to this research. Even that experience was a part of purpose. You had to experience that so that you can speak to it in a way. You're not just out here reading articles and writing about them, but you know what you know. You're not just out here teaching your students from the textbook, because you can add. You can add Experience to that ten years of experience in counseling, but also your personal experience. You bring a perspective that nobody else can bring. You are in the middle of your brilliance. Listen, you are right where you're supposed to be. You are right where you are supposed to be. So, and dr Kostak and I are in community, so we talk all the time, y'all, so you might experience some of that. But talk to me because you. You said I never wanted to be a teacher, right? But I know that there have been glimpses of glimpses of teaching throughout your whole Journey. So where were the spaces in your life where teaching would pop up? But you didn't see it as a thing right?Dr. Shakesha Costict:
Um, I think, first and foremost actually in the church. So a lot of times, like for those of us, that's where our foundation is, that's where a lot of that leadership starts. And so I have been praise dancing for whoo since I, I think, was 11 years old and so at different times in spaces I was actually over or teaching and leading the dance ministry, and I work with our children now in our church, and so Even that, now I like to ask them what do you want to do on youth Sunday? And they'll tell me and I look at that as Leadership development at an early age, helping them to identify their voices, because I've always been a very quiet, like I, if I don't have to speak out, I won't. Even now, I mean as a, as a teacher, yeah, I gotta speak out, but in other spaces, if I don't have to, then I won't. And so, but a lot of it started like within the church and just kind of Continue. That's been a consistent or constant piece throughout my entire life that I can remember, I think. Other spaces, like I had jobs where I've worked with children and I've worked in like youth center, hey, friend, listen, I have an Exciting news for you.Dr. Patrice Jackson:
So if you've been following, you know I've been writing this book and I am so excited about getting it into your hands. And guess what? Today I'm offering you the first Sample of my new book, this weapon burnout. Friend, listen, we have more work to do. Okay, it's still going to professional editing, we still need to design the book, but I can't wait to all that's done for you to start digging in. So there's a sample copy that I read myself For you that's available to you today. All you have to do is go to wwwpatricebuttnerjaxsoncom slash book. Again, patricebuttnerjaxsoncom slash book. Grab your sample, listen to the sample chapter and listen. Let me know what you think. I cannot wait for you to hear this book.Dr. Shakesha Costict:
Friend, go grab it today and then someone comes to me and say, oh, do you have your curriculum developed? I said what I? I didn't, I don't want to, I don't want to teach like, I just want to watch the kids play, make sure they're not hurting themselves, being nice to each other, things of that nature, and Just really this piece of okay. Now I got to make a curriculum and I'm like, okay, here comes this teaching thing. Again and again it's just been roles like that that have come up over the years, and then even at one of working for a company when I was able to work with incoming freshmen to help them get acclimated to high school, and Again that was in a leadership position. Because I was over that program, I'm like, all right, here we go again. But it wasn't until I was clinically working as a counselor and I had spent five years working just as a counselor, working with children and families. And then I had the opportunity to have an intern and and I said, wow, like this is the teaching piece. I still wasn't in a space where I was like ready to go full force with it, but I looked at it as I'm training someone else and so I think for me the the idea, or you, just even changing the language from teacher to trainer helped me kind of just feel comfortable in that space. And so when I had the, the intern, and just being able to watch someone develop and to be able to support them and Work with them even in those difficult moments, and then to be able to see them graduate, like whoa, I had a hand in that and To get to that space and then, shortly after that, actually became a clinical supervisor in the same Agency and I supervised a team up up towards seven or eight counselors, some brand new, some well, actually all of them were pretty much brand new to the counseling field as a professional. And again it was this piece of okay, this is I love this like I had gotten to a point I mean, counseling can burn you out just like any career path can, and I had gotten to a point where I was burned out on just all-day clinical practice, meeting with clients back to back. But when I got into that space of supervisor one I was, I worked full-time when I was through my doctor program and so I just ended up switching from the full-time Counseling work to the supervisor piece and that did give me a little bit more Breathing room to do my school work as well. But it was in that role that I was like, okay, this is where my heart is, like I love this piece of just being able to watch someone grow and to watch someone blossom, to watch someone come into their own and really kind of be in the space where they get to determine, like, who am I as a professional? And so as I went through that role for five years and it was at the end of mine, once I finished school, I remember looking at my supervisor at the time and I said I'm not gonna be here by the end of the year, and that was maybe in March or April. That was before I finished school. I knew I was finishing, but that was before I finished school. And I just remember saying that to everyone, like I'm not gonna be here by the end of the year. And then it came time and it was one of those situations where I was so content, I was so like I knew that job like the back of my hand and it was like, okay, but there's more, like if I stay here, I'm doing a disservice to myself, I'm doing a disservice to the person who's coming behind me and to whoever I meant to impact in the future. And so it's difficult as it was and I left. It's great to be in a space where you can leave on such a high that if anything ever happened, I don't think they would hesitate to have me back. But I think the most important piece of all of that is when I left as a supervisor. My goal was to always, always work with my staff so that one day they can take my position, and so when I left, it was one of my counselors that I had worked with for like three years at that point who actually stepped into that role of supervisor, and she and I still text to this day. I think I texted her last week hey, how are things going? And her message to me was thank you so much for everything that you taught me, because I'm able to utilize that now in the work that I'm doing. And so even when I think about like the role of teaching and leadership and what that looks like, I always say I want you to be able to step into my position, because that means I'm going somewhere else and then you're moving into the next. And even when I was a counselor, and even as a supervisor, I would work with clients and I say I want you to work me out of a job. I want you to get to a place where you can handle and you can maintain, and you don't even need to come in to see me maybe every now and then a checkup, but work me out of a job so that you can have the skills that are needed for you to kind of truly succeed in life. And that's I look at that from a leadership point as well and so as kind of a faculty teacher now and really just working with these students. It's this piece of I would. I want to pour in as much as I can to those who are going to be the next generation of counselors, whether they're counselors of color or not. I want you to be in a space to where you truly can say I've received the best education that I can from this university because of this particular educator who felt the need to pour deeply into me. And it's amazing and although, like I recently started, it's been almost a year now just this piece of just listening to the students give their feedback and I'm like whoa, like I don't seem, like I'm brand new, like I feel like it seems as if I know what I'm doing and you know how sometimes we start something. That's like man, I don't, I don't think I know what I'm doing, but I have learned that you do know, you do know.Dr. Patrice Jackson:
You do know the setting changed, but the purpose never changed. You've been preparing for this all your life, since 11 years old, dancing and starting to lead the dance. So you do know. You do know what you're doing and I appreciate the way you honor the power of release. We have a hard time letting go. It's possible that something was perfect for you in one season that no longer fits in the current season and so many of us end up overwhelmed and burnt out because we've overstayed our welcome. We're out of place, somebody else is supposed to be in your shoes and you're supposed to be someplace else, but we have such a hard time of letting go of something that seems to be working. It doesn't make sense that you will release something that's working out pretty well. Why would you let it go? But purpose evolves and it calls you. It calls you to move into the next thing. I love your philosophy of work me out of a job. I love your philosophy because not only does that create loyalty between you and your team. So leaders, supervisors, department chairs, I hope you're listening. If you give your people everything just give them everything that you know, what will happen is not only will they be dedicated to the institution, but they will be loyal to you because you've given so much, you've invested so much. And when it is time for you to transition, it's a shame that so many leaders transition and there's nobody ready to step up. So we have to do a national search to find somebody else, because we don't have anybody internally that we have mentored, that we have trained, that we have coached to be ready to step into the next. I'm so grateful for leaders that I've experienced in my life that taught me enough that when it was time for them to go, it was a no-brainer, that it was time for me to step in. It's such a gift. It's such a gift not just to your people but to yourself, because you know when you've trained them well, you can let go. You can let go because you know they're ready. So the power of release is so important, because we end up staying too long, we end up holding on too long when it's time to release that expression of purpose, that passion, that expression of purpose and walk into another expression of purpose. So, dr Kosting, and we won't hold the people too much longer, but for the sake of our faculty members who are listening over this last year of you being in this position and having this experience. What is one of the lessons you've learned through your experience so far as a faculty member?Dr. Shakesha Costict:
Preparation, I think for me just I'm a preparer in so many ways anyway, and so I often say like if I don't know what I'm talking about when I go in front of the students, then how do I expect them to truly understand? And so for me it takes time to just prepare, like what's in front of me, what does the syllabus look like? How am I going to explain the information? How can I make it so that I'm speaking in a way that's easily understood? And then, like, along with that is I'm learning kind of different ways of self-care now because I'm in a different role, and so, with that trying to fit in, and I work remotely, so I teach remotely, so I'm home. Before I was in an office when I practiced clinically. Now I'm home full-time and trying to figure out boundaries. Like my quarter just started and I was teaching and meeting with some students yesterday and we talked about time management and boundaries and what does that look like? And then for a second I was like you know, sometimes I still struggle with this because I'm still trying to, I still feel new, but then I also feel as if I'm starting to kind of really settle into the space. And so sometimes, when I still feel new, I'm still trying to figure it out and put all the puzzle pieces together, and I have learned that for me it really does take time, or at least I think it takes time. Although you know the chair and other people and they might say, okay, here, do this, here do that, I'm just like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, that's not how I operate. So, trying to balance it all, like knowing that I have a time limit, that's different now, but I also have to make sure I'm taking care of myself. And what does that look like? And so I have often found myself so overwhelmed that I just burst into tears and then I'm calling my mama, and then I'm listening to my music, and then I'm doing whatever I need to do to try to settle myself. And I almost found myself in that space within the last couple of weeks and I was proud of myself because I didn't go there Like normally. I didn't go there and I'm like, oh my gosh, like how do I, what do I do, and all this. But I didn't. I like I think I took a moment and I thought about what was happening, like, okay, I've been here before. What do I need to do to make sure I don't become so overwhelmed again that I can't manage. And in that time I think I either wrote down a list or I thought about my list of what are these things that I need to do to finish up this quarter and prepare for next quarter, what can I do in this allotted time that's going to help me manage so that I don't feel overwhelmed? And when I did that, I was like, oh okay, this feels good. I think. Another piece too being a counselor, I have a counselor now, so that has helped me a ton and I would often share with people like, oh, you need to go to counseling, you need to do this. And I was never doing it, like I also had that stigma, even though I wrote about the stigma. I also had the stigma, I also had the fear, I also had the hesitation. But I've noticed that that has just allowed me to free so many things and just to have be in a space where I can truly, just truly be open to receive whatever's coming my way and notice the impact of the things that's happening. And so what's happened and helped during this phase of teaching now is that I've just found the moments of peace, like what do I need to do to make sure I have peace in this moment? What again that preparation? What do I need to prepare for in advance, so that I've been known for myself as just a serial procrastinator, so I can't operate like that anymore. I'm learning. It won't help me and it won't help the students. So now, how do I get out of that space of procrastination so that I can make sure I'm prepared for the next class that's coming up and I'm prepared for the next one that's happening? And when it's towards the end of the quarter, how can I prepare to complete evaluations so that I'm not rushing and using all the time that I could use for rest to work?Dr. Patrice Jackson:
Oh my gosh, that's so good we need to talk about that regulation of your nervous system that you did that self-talk of wait a minute, I've been here before, right? Because the brain automatically shifts in the panning. The brain goes to fight, flight or freeze, like ah. But you caught that and you said wait, wait a minute, we're okay, we've been here before and you can bring, you can bring your own piece back. You can bring that anxiety down. You can talk yourself through it. And for those who struggle with talking yourself through it, there's something called co-regulation. You can connect with somebody else who's calm If you're frazzled. Call your mom, call your boyfriend, somebody who is calm and at peace, talking to them. You can join them in that space of being at peace, right? So I don't want us to forget about the biology of it all. Our bodies respond to stimuli, they respond to your schedule, they respond to the demands at work. Your body responds. It's supposed to, it was created to respond and our job is to be aware, self-aware enough. Pay attention. Pay attention when your body is screaming at you. Pay attention when your body is saying we don't feel. This doesn't feel safe, this doesn't feel safe. Pay attention, assess the situation and then respond in a way that, one, you are safe, but, two, it helps your nervous system calm down. So I love that and you're getting a counselor for yourself. People, you heard me say it but you need a personal care team. You need a counselor, you need a coach and you need a community Everybody, everybody. You need a personal care team If you're taking care of everybody who is taking care of you, and I'm with you, Dr Kostick, it took me 20 years to go to therapy. I walked students to therapy, I convinced them to go to the counselor, told them all the benefits of going to counseling. I helped them understand that counseling is not necessarily meaning they're broken. But you need maintenance, you need a process for processing. I did all of that talking, but I wasn't practicing what I preach and once I, once I hit burnout, I started going to counseling for myself and I will never not have a therapist in my life, whether I'm going monthly or every week or whether every three months, whatever the whatever is needed in the system in that season, that changes right. But I will always have a therapist in my life that I can connect with and get that maintenance, that support, that processing place that I need so that I can continue, so that I can continue to share. Listen. I know we've got to let you all go, but this is so good, dr Kostick, let's close like this as we. Some folks have started their quarter, like you, some folks are leaning into fall. It's almost time. Think about a new faculty member. Somebody has just started. Maybe they're about to walk into their first semester. What piece of advice would you give them about walking in with their peace and keeping their peace.Dr. Shakesha Costict:
Lean on your support system. Whether that's the other faculty members which I'm very thankful for, I have that support system. Whether that's your community so maybe your family and friends, and I have that as well Whether that's your faith whatever faith you subscribe to or whatever your belief system is like, leaning in to that is going to be helpful because for me, going in, I was frazzled, I was excited, but I was frazzled Like there's so much, there's so many new things like what do I do, where do I go, who do I turn to? And so knowing that I had that support system and place has been extremely beneficial because I can go to anyone on the team and have my questions answered and not being a burden to someone. And so that's the other piece. Don't don't feel as if you're a burden. You're not in this position for such a time as this, for a specific reason, for this particular season, to be able to pour into and reach out and grab someone else's hand to join them along this journey. So have that compassion, have that empathy, have just that love and passion for the work that you do, because that's what's really going to shine through. So know that, you know, lean into that support. Utilize whatever you need to so that you can feel comfortable in the space that you're in and know that you are in a space that will impact the next generation.Dr. Patrice Jackson:
Yeah, yeah, absolutely Lean in and know your. Why Know what you bring is so beautiful. Listen, we are so grateful for you all sharing the space and time with us. Dr Kostick, I am so grateful for your wisdom and for your journey, your testimony. It's freeing somebody. I know it is, I know it is and you are right where you're supposed to be and that's a beautiful place to be. So thank you for sharing with us today so grateful. All right, friends, as always. You know you are powerful, you are significant and you are loved. Love always. Pbj. Bye everybody.