I never truly appreciated the weight of the invisible backpack I carried until I realized it was holding me back from my true potential. Today, we unravel the profound connection between the alignment in our spines and the harmony within our belief systems. Drawing from the chiropractic philosophy, I delve into how releasing the burdens of outdated beliefs and emotional scars is much like realigning a misaligned spine – both are transformative, leading to a healthier, more purpose-driven existence. This episode is particularly close to my heart as it reflects on the deep-seated impact of carrying the likes of shame, guilt, and inherited pain, and how shedding these weights allows us to step into the freedom of our inherent worth.
Have you ever considered the intricate parallels between healing a physical wound and mending the emotional ones? Our discussion today also peels back the layers of the healing journey, emphasizing the need for bravery in confronting our pains and the invaluable role of guidance from healthcare professionals, literature, or coaching. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we uncover the beauty of the healing process and how it redefines our perceptions of strength and resilience. The episode is a testament to how healing ourselves can set the stage for generational recovery, prompting us to sift through life's challenges and choose which experiences to hold on to and which to let go, propelling us towards a life of intentional living.
I never truly appreciated the weight of the invisible backpack I carried until I realized it was holding me back from my true potential. Today, we unravel the profound connection between the alignment in our spines and the harmony within our belief systems. Drawing from the chiropractic philosophy, I delve into how releasing the burdens of outdated beliefs and emotional scars is much like realigning a misaligned spine – both are transformative, leading to a healthier, more purpose-driven existence. This episode is particularly close to my heart as it reflects on the deep-seated impact of carrying the likes of shame, guilt, and inherited pain, and how shedding these weights allows us to step into the freedom of our inherent worth.
Have you ever considered the intricate parallels between healing a physical wound and mending the emotional ones? Our discussion today also peels back the layers of the healing journey, emphasizing the need for bravery in confronting our pains and the invaluable role of guidance from healthcare professionals, literature, or coaching. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we uncover the beauty of the healing process and how it redefines our perceptions of strength and resilience. The episode is a testament to how healing ourselves can set the stage for generational recovery, prompting us to sift through life's challenges and choose which experiences to hold on to and which to let go, propelling us towards a life of intentional living.
Chapter 4 Living and Alignment. I've learned so much about alignment through visits with chiropractors over the years. For instance, I now know chiropractors focus on the spine because all the nerves in your body are connected there. The brain and spinal cord act as the central operating system for the body, taking in information, processing that information and sending back instructions for response through the nervous system. Every system, organ and cell in your body is somehow connected to the spinal cord, which communicates with the brain. I was amazed how an adjustment to my spine alleviated pain in my wrist and how numbness of my hand had nothing to do with my hand, but the source was a compressed nerve in my back. I discussed infertility with my chiropractor and learned how certain adjustments have positive impacts on my reproductive system. I also experienced how an appropriate adjustment to my spine would clear up congestion in my respiratory system. A chiropractor noticed a misalignment in my spine and then touched a tender spot elsewhere in my body that I didn't even know was injured. A misaligned spine can block the communication between the brain and the body, causing numbness, pain or even paralysis. My chiropractor taught me, just as we take our car in to have the tires aligned after so many miles. Our bodies need similar attention due to daily wear and tear. As an adjustment with the chiropractor impacts the wellness of your entire body, an adjustment in your belief system impacts the wellness of your soul. It felt miraculous when my lower back pain resolved itself as I walked through the hard work strategies. Some days I couldn't even walk my dog due to the pain. But I haven't experienced that since implementing these strategies. I was carrying more in my heart than I was on my back. My invisible backpack was overflowing and I felt it physically.
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Have you checked your invisible backpack today? All of us have one. We put it on every day. Your invisible backpack is full of all your experiences. Everything you've learned formally and informally, all major life events and all your beliefs, ideas, systems and constructs are in that invisible backpack. If you're honest, you may have more than one backpack. Some of us drag large roller bags or emotional trunks around every day.
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Your baggage determines how you engage with the world. The weight of your invisible luggage blocks your access to brilliance and causes soul injuries you cannot see. The backpack itself is not good or bad, it's just the container. Each of us is responsible for opening that container, becoming acquainted with the contents and doing some spring cleaning every now and then to lighten the load. Remove what no longer fits and replace it with beliefs that align with who you are truly. This is the first hard work strategy we need to discuss Check your baggage. Check your baggage. The goals of checking your baggage are to 1. Remove thoughts, ideas, beliefs and systems that promote burnout. 2. Replace those misaligned beliefs with thought systems that promote brilliance.
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In checking your baggage, you make adjustments in your soul to release your brilliance. If your belief systems are faulty, your brilliance is in jeopardy of overexposure, overperformance and damage. If your belief systems are misaligned, it causes a disconnection between your brilliance and your actions. Brilliance is always there, but a blockage hinders the flow. Misalignment in your soul also leads to a disconnect between the soul and your spirit. Think of it this way there are three parts to every human being the body, the soul and the spirit. According to Genesis 2 and 7, god formed man of the dust of the ground that was the body, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, that spirit and man became a living soul. The word soul there in the original Hebrew means mind, will, imagination and emotions. Your misalignment in your soul means disorder in your mind will imagination and emotions. Chaos in your mind will imagination and emotions causes you to disconnect from spirit and your body behaves accordingly. Therefore, to have peace in your mind, stay connected to your spirit and take action in your brilliance, you must make adjustments in your soul. In checking your baggage, you will determine where your soul needs an adjustment.
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Checking your baggage is about adjusting your belief system. This doesn't mean you need to toss every belief away and start over. Those beliefs that serve you well and align with God's thoughts about you should not change. These ideas hold you steady, especially in troubled times. As you check your baggage, you become aware of what you carry and make intentional decisions about what you will continue to carry. Weights like shame, guilt, unforgiveness, low self-esteem, insecurity and malice are too heavy and they hinder you from becoming the woman God created you to be. Those beliefs weigh your backpack down and hinder your progress. So many women believe they're not enough because they have not seen the progress they desire in their lives. Friend, you are more than enough. Your current load is just too heavy for progress. It's time to lay something aside.
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After identifying weight that must be removed from your baggage, you need to replace misaligned thoughts with beliefs in harmony with who God created you to be. Throughout this process, you have no one to impress. In fact, as you work in this area, you will become less impressed with titles, degrees, accolades and expectations. Freedom is the primary goal. I'm talking about the kind of freedom you find in God. Remove every layer until there's nothing left but how he made you Imperfectly, perfect, whole, healed, free. In this process, you remove misaligned thoughts and replace them with belief systems that align with God's word for you Don't stop with removing Negative thoughts must be replaced. The entire process is necessary.
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Too many women become aware of misaligned beliefs and stop at removing those beliefs, leaving critical areas of their backpack empty. This leaves room for destructive systems to return with a vendice. In Matthew 12, verses 43-45, jesus taught when an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert seeking rest, but finding none. Then it says I will return to the person I came from. So it returns and finds its former home empty, swept and in order. Then the spirit finds seven other spirits, more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there, and so that person is worse off than before. In the same way, you must replace misaligned thoughts with a mindset that fits your purpose. In this journey to brilliance, you will learn how to rid yourself of misaligned thoughts and how to accept and act upon purposeful thoughts.
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Checking your backpack is about building upon a solid foundation. I love to watch renovation shows on HGTV where professionals transform a space that's rundown and sometimes unlivable into an oasis in a matter of weeks. One thing I've noticed about renovations is they always start with the foundation. If the contractors notice any defect in the foundation, those issues must be repaired before any other construction can commence. These folks understand building upon a faulty foundation is a waste of time, effort and money. It does not matter how beautiful the space is, in the end if the foundation is cracked, weak or faulty. In checking your backpack, you deconstruct every misaligned system, belief or behavior and replace it with the thoughts that align with your purpose, so that you can build brilliance on a strong foundation.
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Checking your backpack is also about healing. As you face the contents of your backpack, you may experience a variety of emotions. It's fascinating how we adapt to accommodate a heavy load. Don't be surprised if checking your backpack reveals sole injuries you were not even aware of. Just like your body may adapt to walk around with a physical injury. Your mind and heart adapt to carry sole injuries. It's possible you have adapted for so long you're no longer aware of the original injury. I must warn you, friend, adapting to cover and injury always causes damage in other areas. Therefore, it's imperative you dig deeply into your backpack to reveal and heal all wounds. Healing is a messy process. Edward and I learned a lot about healing over the last three years.
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In 2020, edward discovered a painful abscess on the back of his neck. The cyst grew to the point that he couldn't sleep well or turn his neck without excruciating pain. This was a tiny growth compared to the mass of his entire body, but this tiny growth impacted everything. For him. It was difficult to think about anything else because the pain was so invasive. After consulting with his primary care physician and a specialist, we decided to have the abscess removed. The specialist presented it as an easy in-office procedure with about one week of recovery. This decision seemed like a no-brainer, considering the level of discomfort my husband was experiencing. Edward also decided to undergo the procedure without anesthesia, as he historically had a hard time waking up after surgery. The doctor reluctantly agreed, but warned Edward the procedure would be extremely uncomfortable with just a localized pain reducer. We all agreed on a plan and we set a date. The procedure only took about half an hour and the doctor reported it was a success. He gave me some instructions for at-home care and sent us on our way. That's where the healing lessons began.
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My first obstacle in this healing process was to look at the wound. Before I could serve my husband and care for the wound, I had to fight through my personal aversion to looking at it. Now let me give a shout out to all the nurses, all the medical attendants, all the nurses attendants, the PAs, the doctors, hospital custodians and everyone else who works in health care. Thank you from the bottom of my heart because, let me tell you something, health care is not my ministry. However, I was willing to do it because I love that man. I had to look at it before I could take care of it. I had to know what it should look like and recognize signs of danger.
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One morning, several days after the procedure, I felt like something was wrong with the wound. I couldn't name the problem, but I could tell by looking at it that something was off. So many thoughts raced through my head. Maybe I'm being extra, maybe I'm being anxious. Maybe it's no big deal. I tried to push those thoughts away, but I couldn't rest At the point of tears. I told my husband we've got to go to your doctor because something isn't right. What a day. We couldn't get in to see the primary care physician or the specialist who had done the procedure. We finally ended up in a local wound care center and I'm so glad God led us there. The medical team reassured us we'd done the right thing by coming to them. There was a problem with the wound, but they were able to mitigate infection and get us back on track with healing. I'm so glad I trusted my gut that day.
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You must be brave enough to look at the wound and trust your gut when something isn't right. It's time to acknowledge where you've been wounded. Look at the hurt, look at the pain, look at the offense Before you can do anything about it. You must be able to look at the ugliness. Holy Spirit led you here because in your heart you know something is not right. From the outside you look like the picture of success, but inside you're carrying wounds that need attention. No more covering, no more pretending See your pain for what it is.
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Edward and I needed help in this healing process. The wound was in a spot he couldn't see for himself, so he needed somebody there who was willing to help him. In the doctor's office, right after the initial procedure, the doctor brought me in and said okay, let me show you what you need to do to care for the wound. He took me step by step through the process, teaching me how to take care of this wound. For my husband, this was a new experience and I needed coaching to do it. Well, I learned from the doctor that day and I did some research on my own to strengthen my approach and make sure I was helping Edward and not hurting him.
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When you're going through a healing process, especially one you're not familiar with, you need support. Choosing to take a healing journey alone significantly decreases your odds of success. At the least, you waste time learning hard lessons that a guide could have helped you avoid. At the worst, you end up with more extensive damage due to ignorance. This is why I wrote this book To give you some of those lessons. This is also why coaching is essential. A coach has knowledge, skills, ability and experience to guide you through the process of disrupting burnout, helping you avoid pitfalls and supporting you as you pursue freedom. Do not take this journey alone. You have help available to you. Healing will cost you.
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Edward and I had to invest in healing supplies. I had no idea of all the wound care products on the market prior to this experience. Without even realizing it, we created our own little formulary. We bought bandages and wraps and gloves and ointment and fancy scissors I'd never used before. We had it all because to take care of the wound I needed the appropriate resources ready and available. In addition to the supplies, we have medical bills from the procedure and the follow-ups and we invested more than money in those appointments. We both had to wake up earlier each morning to have time to attend to the wound before leaving for work. We also made time each night for wound care.
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You cannot just talk about healing, friend. You must have some skin in the game. What are you willing to give? What is your investment? Are you willing to read this entire book? Are you willing to stop and answer the journal prompts? Will you reserve time and your schedule to walk through this process? Will you invest in a coaching group or one-on-one coaching to get the support you need in this process? Are you willing to be honest with yourself. Can you see how holding on to the pain is costing you more than healing ever will? What are you willing to give to support your own healing process?
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In Edwards healing process, I had to change my definition of beautiful Friend. Remember, medicine is not my ministry and this thing was rough. In the early days I had to pump myself up just to remove the bandage. You can do this, patrice. It's not as bad as yesterday. It's getting better every day. As we walked through the healing process, however, the wound became beautiful to me. It was never a pretty site. I never added it to my Instagram feed, of course, but watching things get better became my new definition of beautiful. As time went by, I became less squeamish about looking at the wound. I began to see the beauty in the process. I noticed details that gave me clues that we were headed in the right direction. I watched the miraculous power of the human body to heal itself. I was a witness as new skin cells formed and replaced damaged skin. I observed as the pain subsided and Edward began to return to himself. I had a front row seat to the miraculous power of God that no one else had. One day. A family member saw the wound for the first time. A few months had passed since the procedure and there was no more bandage, although much healing had occurred by that point. That family member physically shuddered at the site of the healed area. Their reaction surprised me because all I could think about was how far we had come.
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Be careful who you allow to see your wounds. Other people may look at your progress and fail to appreciate it. They weren't there in the hardest times. They didn't see the tears you cried, the layers you shed or the process you've been through. We prayed over that wound. We shed some tears in that process. We saw God answer our prayers for healing. We are no longer impressed by aesthetics.
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The healing process is hard, it is messy and it is beautiful. The healing process is also irritating. There's itching, irritation and some smelly stuff. That happens when your body is healing. Ed would really wanted to scratch his wound to relieve the itch, but scratching would have made it more irritated. At a certain point it was getting on his nerves. He was tired of caring it and, honestly, I was tired of caring for it. Although we were both ready to be done, I realized the irritation was a sign that the healing process was coming to an end. The itching and irritation increased as the healing progressed. The more the wound healed, the more it irritated my husband. Like giving birth, the most painful part is right before your breakthrough. Do not get weary in your healing. Stay connected to someone who will coach you and support you in the moments you want to give up. Remember the irritation is a sign that healing is almost complete. You've come a long way, friend. Don't give up now. I need you to know healing often takes longer than what you wanted to take.
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The doctor initially told us we would deal with this wound for seven days. Seven days went by and the wound wasn't healed. One week after that we were still doing wound care. The healing process took much longer than we planned. We were still in it when it was no longer a hot topic for friends and family. So many people reached out to us when Edward first had the procedure. However, those folks eventually moved on to think about other things, as they should, and we were still healing. We continued caring for the wound until it seemed like the healing was complete. We rejoiced the first day Edward went with no bandage. However, the celebration was short-lived because we learned the first procedure hadn't gone deep enough, so we had to do it again. Edward had to be sedated and it took months for him to heal from the second surgery. After we got through the second healing months of wound care and finally everything was sealed up. No more bandages, we learned we had to go into surgery for a third time. This time he had two procedures two weeks apart. If you're counting, that's four surgeries in two years. It was exhausting. It stretched us to our limits. It felt like it would never end. However, I'm happy to say we finally have a solution and a prescribed medication that resolved the problem. All the surgeries could have been avoided if we'd known about this from the beginning. That part would frustrate me if I didn't believe the surgeries were necessary stepping zones to get us to the solution. We would never have considered this medication if we hadn't experienced such a journey with the surgeries.
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Friend, everything you've gone through to this point got you here. Do not despise your challenges. They gave you the push you needed to run into hard work. Maybe you've tried program after program or coach after coach and you haven't found what you need. Looking at the time elapsed and the money spent could cause you to feel frustrated, except the truth is, all those steps led you here. That frustration pushed you to the point that you are open and willing to take this journey. You learned so much through your healing. You built muscles you didn't know you needed. Now you're ready for resolution. You are ready to release hurt, pain, shame and anger, to fully embrace the woman you were created to be. Do not despise the pain that brought you this far. Maybe it's not a physical wound for you. Maybe your wound is deeper. Soul injuries tend to hide longer and therefore take more time to heal. Every step of your journey so far was purpose to get you here. Appreciate the journey. Honor your path by stepping into true healing. It's a messy process but it's necessary.
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Friend, checking your backpack may be especially difficult if you carry traumatic experiences. Deep trauma may include abuse of any kind, traumatic loss, critical illness or any life-altering circumstance. To reveal and heal deep trauma from your past, I recommend counseling. You need someone trained and licensed to help you navigate deep wounds. Through counseling I was able to understand the roots of my trauma and I learned how to clear those roots from my backpack, so I am no longer driven by them. There's great freedom in understanding your source of struggle and taking control of that area of your life. I walked students to counseling for over 20 years before I went for myself. Now I will never look back. I will always have a therapist in my life.
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If you don't have a licensed therapist, start by doing some research. Explore the available therapists in your area and online by using the following resources openpathcollectiveorg. Therapyforblackgirlscom. Psychologytodaycom. Slash us.
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Who's bags are you carrying? Have you heard the phrase the body keeps score? This saying refers to the fact that we carry trauma in our bodies. Trauma therapist Kobe Campbell teaches how pain creates new neural pathways in your brain and changes the DNA structure within your body. This also means trauma can physically pass along to our children.
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Whose bags are you carrying? You carry the stress of generations in your body. The pain of your mother, grandmother and generations before them was passed to you without anyone realizing it. The experiences when they were hurt, silenced or overwhelmed are trapped in your DNA. It's not your fault, friend, but it is your responsibility. It's up to you to identify the sole injuries in your life and address the pain. You have a responsibility to free your heart so those coming after you can also be free Some baggage you picked up along the way, but some of the weight was passed down to you. Honor yourself, as well as others in your lineage, by checking your backpack. Friend, your backpack is too heavy.
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Maybe you've lost someone you love and the grief is suffocating. Maybe you're carrying the pain of a divorce. No one gets married to get divorced and even if it was the best thing for you, the grief of what could have been is heavy. Maybe you know the weight of infertility. You hope to carry and deliver life for so long that your hope turned bitter. Maybe you've been abused in some way or your childhood was traumatic. Maybe the pressure to be 10 times better has overwhelmed you and you don't know how to show up as yourself anymore. Maybe you focused so deeply on motherhood when your babies were young you don't know who you are now that they are grown. You secretly feel betrayed now that they have a life outside of you. Maybe you are in a phase of life when your parents need you and no one taught you how to navigate this season.
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When was the last time you stopped to investigate your backpack? You continue to carry around all of life's pieces without relief. You cannot heal what you're unwilling to reveal. It is imperative that you take some time to go through your backpack. This will allow you to make intentional decisions about which life lessons you will hold on to and which experiences you need to release. You may not forget what you experienced, but you can choose not to be driven by your pain. In the next couple of chapters, I will lead you through the steps of checking your baggage. I encourage you to pay attention to your soul as you read. Truly, open your invisible backpack and look around. It's time to release the weight. Do the hard work. Take a moment to open your backpack. Choose the following one-minute self-coaching activity to begin your work. Download the Disrupting Burnout Journal for a fillable copy of this activity at patricebutterjacksoncom slash journal.