28. Worth the Wait

Is it worth it...to keep believing for something that seems to be taking a long time to happen?  In this episode of the Heart Work with PBJ podcast, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson shares personal outcomes from waiting as well as two important reason to endure through your waiting season.

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Transcript

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Hey, Hey, Hey friends, it's Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of the Heart Work with PBJ Podcast, where we are disrupting cycles of burnout for people who do their work from the heart. Y'all know how we do it around here, we believe that we can do the work we are called to do without losing the life we desire. So that's what we talk about how to get this thing done without burnout without exhaustion without overwhelm without compassion, fatigue, but working in our purpose with peace. Oh, I like that. Working in our purpose with peace. So y'all, if that's something that resonates with you, I hope you'll hang around. I hope you will tell friends about this podcast so that we can continue to have these good conversations together. My friends, before we get into the episode this week, I need to remind you that registration for the heartwork Academy is officially open friends, listen, oh, this has been and is a labor of love. And I cannot wait to share more with you all. If you think this podcast is good for you. You need to jump into the Academy because it is going to be every thing. And I'm telling you we're digging through we're digging up, we're establishing boundaries, we are learning how to communicate our value in the workplace and everyplace else. We're learning how to do the work we're called to do without falling into burnout and overwhelm. You need to come join us. Okay, here's the important thing. Registration closes on May 8. So you got about this much time to get it done. And it is a monthly training. So it's a membership is ongoing, a monthly training that we're going to come together and live have this discussion, answer your questions, dig deeper. But there are also going to be some exercises and some videos and some lessons along the way. We only meet once a month, so you dedicate specific time once a month, but outside of our monthly training, you will on your own time do the work. So when we come together, and I live training, we can just dig a little bit deeper, you need to get in on this, okay, because this is our founding launch. So everybody who joins right now they're going to lock in this$47 per month rate and they'll never have to pay a higher rate as long as they keep their membership active. This is the lowest gonna be this rate is just for the founding members.$47 a month. So I encourage you to go to www.heartworkacademy.com. Again, go to www.heartworkacademy.com get registered today. Ready, registration closes on Saturday, May 8, my friends, get in there. It's time to get going. It's gonna be a good time. So go to heartwork academy.com. get signed up. Join us. Let's do this thing. All right, let's get into the episode. So today, yeah, I told y'all last week that I was really trying to avoid this subject of waiting. And not only did I not successfully avoid it, but we're continuing this week to talk about waiting. So last week, we spoke about actively waiting, and how waiting is a preparation time and not an idle time, how we can keep moving even in our season of waiting. So last week, we talked about aligning your behavior with what you believe like truly believing that what you're looking forward to is coming and acting like it today, doing what you need to do to prepare for that which is coming. We also talked about doing the last thing you knew you were supposed to do until the next comes sometimes in our waiting we get a little anxious with our hands like what what do I do while I'm in this waiting period. But the truth is, there's something you should be doing today right now while you're waiting on next to come. So keep doing what you know you're supposed to do until the next comes. And then the last thing we talked about is put your blinders on. Stop looking to the right or the left stop looking for somebody to cosign or a person to say yes, go do that. That's a good idea. And it's a bonus that you if you get that but sometimes you won't get that sometimes you'll just know in your gut sometimes you'll just know and your spirit what you're supposed to be doing. And that's enough for you to go do it. Okay. So that's how we actively wait. But this week, I wanted to talk to you and encourage you that it's worth the weight. It is worth the weight, I have to tell you that in our wedding and in our marriage worth the weight has been a theme for us. And I'll, I'll tell you how that got started. So when rev j and I were dating, I remember specifically, we were having a conversation about, you know, our future and kind of what led us to the point of finding each other and the different things that we've been through, we'll tell you all about some of that. Because he has a story to tell about some of that one day, but we were having this conversation about what led us to where we are, we're, and as he was sharing my response back to him, was, well, I promise you, it was worth the weight. And when I said that his eyes got his biggest golf balls. And it was almost like he lost his breath for a moment. And I got a little nervous, I didn't understand what I had said or what was wrong, I just didn't understand what was happening. And when he took a moment to collect himself, he shared with me that a close family member when he was going through one of his Valley seasons, a close family member told him that it's coming. And when it comes, it will be worth the weight. So when I said that out of my mouth, not having any knowledge of that conversation, when I said that it connected those moments for him. And honestly, he may tell it differently. But I think that was the moment that he made his mind up, that I would be his wife and we were doing this. So that became a foundation for us. Literally, the theme of our wedding was worth the weight. And since our wedding, there have been different things that we have waited on and waited through. And we continue to refer to each other, but also those seasons as worth the wait. Because now we know we know what waiting will bring. And from my perspective, I told you all last week, I just didn't know if it would happen for me for many different reasons. I was almost my faith was waning, I felt like I had waited too long. But I'm here to tell you, I couldn't write this love story. If I tried. I couldn't write it this good. One piece. I talked to y'all about my baby girl all the time. But one piece that confirmed all this for me before we got married, is my baby girl. Of course, she has a mama she has a beautiful mom. And I'm grateful for her mom who supports our relationship and encourages us to be close. Because that's important. So I'm grateful to her. But my baby daughter looks just like me. When we take pictures, we look like sisters. There's no blood between us. I didn't carry her. I met her when she was 12 years old. If you're watching the visual podcast, I'll pop in a picture here. But that's a part of my testimony that this was all meant to be. I couldn't make it up. If I tried to couldn't write it. If I tried it was not what I thought my story was going to be. But it is the perfect story for me. So today I want to talk to you about the weight being worth it worth the weight. You know, we live in a day and age that we don't have to wait for a whole lot. We don't have to wait to go to a movie on Friday night you can turn on your TV or your laptop or your phone and watch a movie. Anytime you get ready. You know we don't have to wait for hours for a meal to be ready. Because you can have food fresh hot food delivered to your door in 30 minutes or less just about ordering it from your phone. You know we have these meal delivery services now that bring you you don't even have to go to the grocery store. Everything that you need from the meal is in the box. Y'all know what I'm talking about. It's all in the box. And there are instructions that will get that meal ready for you in 30 minutes or less. And while no shade on any of these conveniences. I enjoyed them very much so no On the conveniences. But the challenge with conveniences is we no longer know how to wait. And we no longer place value on having to wait. So what we find ourselves doing is when something is taking longer than we think it should take them, we want to manipulate the circumstances and turn it into what we want it to be when we want it to be it. And that my friends is detrimental. So I want to encourage you today, not just to actively weight, but I want you to know that it is worth the weight is worth the weight. So when I thought about our talk today, and what I will share with you about it being worth the weight, the scripture came to mind. It's a very, very familiar scripture. Isaiah 40, and 31 came to mind, but they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. We repeat this in the church over and over and over and over and over. And it's one of those scriptures that we can just sing and say, but sometimes it's really hard to live. And so I wanted to go back to the Scripture and understand what that word weight means. Because we know that the Bible wasn't written in the king's English, right? We know the Bible was written in Greek and Hebrew. So in order to understand the scripture a little better, when I study, I like to go back to the original definitions of the words, so that I can know what the writers intended for us to know. Because there's so many different levels to understand the Bible. So I like to do that. So when I research this word, wait, they that wait upon the Lord from Isaiah 40 and 31. It meant to look eagerly for something, not to grieve it, not to toil over it, not to strive through it, but to look eagerly for something. When I thought about that definition, it took me back to my childhood when I was growing up. So when I was growing up, I had my great great grandmother, my great grandmother, and my grandmother on my dad's side, and my grandmother on my mom's side, and my grandmother's were cooks, you hear me like, put it down cooks. And I remember with my grandmother's, it wasn't a microwave. I don't think they had a microwave in their house. I don't know that they had a microwave. I don't, I never had a microwave meal from my grandmother's even the heating up of the food when they happened on the stove. Okay. But specifically, I remember on Sundays, we would go to my mother's mother's house, my Grandma Dot, we will go to randma Dot's house. And all my cousins, aunties, uncles would be there. But it wasn't like come on in, pop this in the microwave and have it like it was cooking all day. The food was cooking all day you walked in the house, and the aroma of the food just took over your whole body. Not just your nose, but your mind, your spirit. Everything was wrapped up in the aroma of that food. And you know that Grandma woke up at six o'clock in the morning to start the meal to get the meal going. And by the time we got back from church, three o'clock, whatever, in the afternoon, it was about ready. And it was worth the wait, did we get a little hungry yet but you know, let me go have a snack because it's gonna be worth it when this gets ready. So you didn't get impatient. You didn't get crazy, didn't get frustrated. You knew that it was about to be good. Everything from the start of the meal all the way through the aroma carrying you through the rest of the day until you had that plate sitting in front of you. You knew it was about to be good. It was going down. There was no question there was consistency. You know, you know you can go to a restaurant today and today is really good and it's a Marlin. Hidden today. Not a grandma dad's house. At grandma dad's house. You knew what you were gonna get. You knew that she had put the time and effort into it. And every time you showed up, it was just as good as the last time. There wasn't no store bought cakes, that was homemade pound cake. I'm telling you, it was worth the weight. It wasn't fast, it might not have come when we wanted it to come. But when it did come, we appreciated the time that went into the preparation of the dinner that we were consuming. That's what your wait season is. I want you to begin to smell the aroma of what you're walking into. I want you to begin to think about and put yourself in that place. Where are you sitting? What are you wearing, who's around you? What are the words in the room, begin to put your body in that place, we begin to think about how you are going to feel when you are standing or sitting right in the middle of that blessing. And I want you to allow that experience that connection with what you are waiting on to carry you through this waiting season. And instead of being frustrated by the weight, instead of being angry with the weight, instead of being tired in the weight, I want to encourage you to build your excitement. Build your excitement for what you know is coming your way. Build your excitement for what you have worked for, build your excitement for what you have longed for. Build your excitement for what you deserve, more than what you deserve, build your excitement for what's coming your way. savor it before it shows, know that it's on the way and act like it, it is worth the weight, it is worth the weight, and want to give you two reasons of why you should wait. And I'm gonna let you go today. Number one, the reason why you should wait is because when you don't, and you try to manipulate your circumstances to make them into something that they're not, or you try to rush a season that you're not ready for. You find yourself in the midst of striving, you find yourself in a fight, you find yourself in a struggle, you don't have peace, you can't sleep, none of the pieces are coming together. No matter what you do. If you are giving your best effort, and those pieces not are not coming together, maybe you need to stop for a minute and reconsider. Maybe there's a different plan. Or if not a different plan, maybe there's a different time for the current plan. So you can be doing a good thing in the wrong season, you can be doing a good thing at the wrong time, and the striving and the wrestle and the hustle, it takes everything out of you. And then when your season arrives, you have nothing left. But when you wait, when you do everything in the right season, and in the right time, you can do it with ease and with excellence. You can keep your peace and walk in your season at the same time. So I encourage you avoid striving, avoid the fight. And I'm not saying that whatever you're walking in is going to be easy. We're not talking about easy, okay, we're not talking about an easy button, snap your fingers. And there it is. That's not what we're talking about. Because Faith without works is dead, we know that. So you're gonna have to do something. But what you have to do and what it costs you to do, it will be different according to if you wait, or if you force if you force is still not going to be what you what you want it to be and what you deserve. And you will have spent or it would have cost you more than you're willing to spend. So it's worth it to wait. The second reason that I want to encourage you to wait is because your perspective will be different. Your perspective will be different. You know, if we refer back to our marriage before we got married, you know, everybody gives you advice. A lot of people give you advice and and I'm grateful for the advice. I'm grateful for people who loved us enough to talk to us and share their experiences. But it's interesting that a lot of the experiences that people shared with us, we didn't go through it the same way And when I look back at it, a lot of the people who were sharing with us got married very young. And there's nothing wrong with that, because those marriages are enduring. And they are good marriages over 20 years now. But the challenge is, those people had to grow up together. They had to find their own identity while they were finding their identity and marriage. So the challenges they had were different than the challenges we had. Not that it's been, you know, just easy peasy every day. But it's, it's been quite a good marriage. There's been very, very little tough days between the two of us. And there's been tough days, but it hasn't been about the two of us, it's been about life. But those who had to grow up together, had more of those internal tussles and struggles, because they had to grow up together. When we met, we knew we knew ourselves, we had a strong grasp on who we are what we wanted, what we brought to the table. And that allowed us to come together in a more seamless way. And even when we do have a tussle, or disagreement or a tough conversation, it's easier for us to manage, I believe, I'll talk about me, it's easier for me to manage because I remember what it was like to be without him. I remember the weight. I remember the grieving, I remember the longing, I remember the desire. So when the when because I'm human, when I get in those moments of frustration, they don't last very long. Because my perspective is different. My perspective is, I'm grateful for my marriage, my husband, all of it, the good, the tough, the whatever, I'll take it any day, I'll take it every day. I'm grateful. And I'm not talking about accepting anything, because he's, he's not anything, he's the very best for me. But even having the very best, there are some tough days. But even in those tough days, they don't last long. Because my perspective is because of my wait. This is important to me, I honor it, I cherish it. And I'm not going to allow an opinion, or my desire to be right on attitude, or miscommunication or any of that disrupt what I waited so long for. So waiting fixes your perspective is similar to friends that I've watched walk through infertility journeys, when they are blessed with their babies, it doesn't mean that the newborn struggle is different, right? Babies still cry, baby still don't sleep, you still have to feed, you still have to do diapers, you still have to deal with sick babies and take them to the doctor and take days off. And you still have to do all the newborn things, you still have to do all the toddler things. So none of that is different. The only difference is to perspective when you had to wait on it. When you had to pray for it, and long for it. Your perspective is different. You can lose sleep and still be at peace. You can do all the things and I'm not saying you don't have your moments, everybody's human. You have your moments but those moments don't last long. Because your perspective is I pray for this. I waited for this, I desired this I longed for this. So waiting changes your perspective. It adds more value to what you're waiting on. It's always valuable, and you appreciate the value. But when you've waited, it adds more value to what you have waited on. So friends, I'm here to tell you today. It is worth the wait. Whatever you are waiting for whatever your heart longs for. Wherever you see yourself going, whatever that next season is whatever that thing is that seems to be just passing you by. I'm here to let you know. It is worth the weight. Now you know what I'm gonna say you are powerful. You are significant. You are worth the weight and you are loved. Love always PBJ