Heart Work with PBJ

44. I Resigned

December 22, 2021 Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson Episode 44
Heart Work with PBJ
44. I Resigned
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode of Heart Work with PBJ, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson shares an update on recent developments in her life and work.  "I Resigned" is something we have heard a lot lately in this Great Resignation.  Tune in for Dr. Jackson's story and lessons along the way.

This is the blog referred to in this podcast:  https://www.patricebucknerjackson.com/post/enjoy-the-parade

To connect with Dr. PBJ, go to www.aspoonfulofpbj.com

Do you need a dynamic transformational speaker?  Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson is ready to serve.  Check out Dr. PBJ Speaks

Follow me on IG @drpatricebucknerjackson for #aspoonfulofpbj every Monday.




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Hey everybody, this is Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson. But you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of the heart work with PBJ podcast, where we are disrupting cycles of burnout for people who do their work from the heart. Oh, yes, my friend, this podcast is dedicated to you, the givers, the caretakers, the educators, those who take care of everybody else also need to be taken care of. So I am so honored that you continue to come so that we can have this conversation to refill our cups, so that we can go back out in the world and serve in the ways that we are called to serve. Hey, Friend, before we get into the episode, would you do me a favor? If this episode blesses you? Would you subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a download? Also give a rating? Let me know what you think, leave a comment. Not only will that help me make it better. But this will ensure that this podcast gets out to so many other heart workers. So do me a favor, rate this podcast, leave a comment and let me know what you think. Alright, friends, let's get into it. I'm going to start from two years ago, but I promise it won't be a long story, I don't think. But I need to give you the background so that you understand where we are today. So for those of you who, for those of you who have been in this group, from the time we started this group, or if you've been listening to the podcast, you've heard my burnout story. So you know, in August 2019, I walked away from my position at a university, because I was at rock bottom burnout. And I didn't have anything else to give I had taught everybody around me that I could be all things to all people and they believe. So I got to the place where I had taken on too much. I was doing too much I was not sleeping hour, couldn't think clearly my memory was affected, my physical health was affected. My family relationships were impacted. Everything was cloudy. For me, nothing was clear, and literally hit a day in August 2019, where I could not do it anymore. And I had to stop. I always tell you all that overwhelm is the whisper of the burnout is the demand, you will stop, you will stop. So you might as well choose, you might as well choose to step away, you might as well choose to take the break, you might as well choose to take a moment to breathe, because if you don't, your body will stop you. And that's what happened to me and August 2019. And very soon after that. I wrote a blog and I link the blog here. I'll link it in the show notes. But I wrote a blog called enjoy the parade, explaining that I resigned from my position and I wasn't quite sure what was happening, what was going to happen, where I would end up next I didn't. When I was in that five months, between jobs, there was a time where the phone was ringing, and then the phone got solid. And there were no offers on the table. I didn't leave for another job. I didn't have another position. I didn't know what I would do. I didn't know if I would go back into higher ed what I've done. For my whole adult life. I didn't know if there was another industry industry that I would go work in. I didn't know if I would be starting something on my own. I had been training and speaking for many years, kind of on the side. So I didn't know if this would be the breaking point that would lead me into that. Honestly, all I knew was I had to stop. That's all I knew. I had to stop. And during that time during that five months, that's where my company was birthed. So I have a company it's called EduCare training and consulting Educare, where we focus on several things, but we focus on we focus on work environments and work cultures, and building those work cultures so that you can retain your best employees. But also that's where the heart work Academy comes from. We focus on individuals we focus on high achieving professionals who find ourselves stuck in cycles of burnout and overwhelm and how can we break that for ourselves? So we come from the angle of the organization and the institution, or and we come from the angle of the individual for those who weren't To seek out support for themselves. So all of this is through educated now back in 2019, when Educare was born, I had a vision started the LLC, but I didn't know what it would be. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to create it, I had no business degree, no business training or knowledge. I just knew that this thing was in my heart. And I didn't know what to do with it. But I knew it was something I knew it was something. So that five months while I was recovering from burnout, while I was learning about how to disrupt cycles from burnout, I burned this thing called Educare. And I really didn't know what Educare would be, but I knew it was something in my heart. So as you all know, I did go back to work in January 2020, I took another position in higher education, and really prayed about it and knew that it was the right thing for us. And I knew that it wouldn't be forever. I told you all that, you know, I was vice president at one place, and I took an associate vice president position because it felt like a better fit for me, I need to be with the students, I need to be with the people, I need to be boots on the ground working through it together. That's where my magic is. And this position allowed me to do that. So it really seemed like a perfect place for me to be but even that I knew I wouldn't be there for ever. I just, I just didn't know how long or what it would become? Well, I gotta tell you, I really did think it will be more than two years. I did. I thought it would be more than two years. But of course, you know, I started in January 2020. And what happens in March 2020, the pandemic hits the United States, and we have to go into crisis mode. And honestly, we are still in some level of crisis mode, and higher education. But we were in high alert then, and March 2020, moving students out of residence halls and figuring out how to get them back and how to feed them and how to help them and how to engage them. Because while we had this global pandemic going on, we also had a crisis of disconnection and, and students were feeling alienated and they were feeling isolated, it was impacting their mental health. So we went through all of those months of learning how to do our job differently than we've ever done it before, I have to say that I don't know that there's a different team that I would have wanted to do that with. And notice what happened. There's not a different group of people that I would have wanted to walk through that with. Now reflecting back, I know that I was assigned and meant to be at my university and at my institution doing what I was doing. But I also know that I was meant to be doing it with those people. The people in my unit, the people in my division, the people at my university. I know, I know, that was my team for that season. And we got through it. There were many days we didn't know what to do, or how to do what needed to be done. There were many days that we were tired, and exhausted or afraid. There. And y'all know, I don't have to tell you what this last two years have been. You've had your own experience through the pandemic. But I have to say that there's not a different group of people that I would have wanted to be with other than the people that I was with, while we were working through that. And I'm so grateful to them. So grateful to my team and to the folks that I had the honor of working with. So we get through 2020 Just honestly scraping through and pushing through and pushing each other and supporting each other. And towards the end of 2020. I started feeling like I was late for something. So let me let me explain more. All throughout my career, I always felt I was early. I was always one of the youngest in the room. I always felt like I was promoted, kind of earlier than other folks in my peer group. I always felt like I was early. But all of a sudden at the end of 2020 after we've been through months of the pandemic, I started feeling like I was late, like I was behind. And I started telling my husband I know it didn't make a lot of sense to him. But I kept saying this is the strangest thing. I just feel like I'm late. I feel like there's something I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like I'm behind on something. And I couldn't explain it but there was just something in my spirit just something in my heart that made me feel Like I'm behind, I'm behind what is it? And I started, you know, the podcast at that time, I started just kind of looking into education again and thinking about what it's supposed to be. And I was watching all the YouTube videos and seeking out what answers were and how to build a build up how to build a business and how to do all this thing. And it was really overwhelming. It really was, I felt this pressing, I felt this pulley, but I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. Because again, I was working more than a full time job. So it wasn't a whole lot of time that I had, but I knew something something was happening. So at the end of 2020, I was introduced to this business coaching program called purpose to platform and you all have heard me talk about my coach Patrice Washington, and the purpose, the platform, community and the sisterhood that was built there. I was introduced to this program at the end of 2020. And, you know, she had a five day challenge, and I participated in a challenge. I was like, oh, man, I got it. I gotta have this. I don't know her. I don't know what's going on. But I got to do this. And though one of the main confirmations for me, especially from big steps is my husband, Edward and him feeling the same way and kind of being on the same page. That's important to us. But I was like, Oh, he might not be down for this. He might not be down for the investment. I'm not sure. But when I shared it with him that night, he said, You got to do this. You got to do this, you you need to do this. He's I don't know what it is a wide opportunity to do this. So he was immediately he was immediately on board. And I told y'all that my husband has an anointing for no. Okay, he's, he's real good at saying no, I'm real good at saying yes. So we're good, good there. But in this case, he was like, Yeah, you need to go do this. So go sign up. Let's do it. And I got into this program. And again, still working, still working full time, still serving my students, still serving my staff, what we had calls and work to do, and all these things. So I'm doing all of this and learning. And as I'm going through this process, I'm gaining more and more clarity about what EduCare is, and not just what EduCare is, but what I am particularly called and created to do. It just became more and more clear. It was a 12 week program. And through those 12 weeks, I was literally transformed. I was literally transformed. And the way that I think in the way that I see the work that I do and what I'm called to do and how I apply myself and the value that I bring, I was transformed. And that is where I knew. And that's where I learned. And that's where I figured out that education is an actual business. It's not a hobby, it's not something that just popped up in my head one day, but that's where it was confirmed for me that this is something that I'm supposed to do. So this was the first 12 weeks of 2021. Again, still not even thinking you know that I was anywhere in here, walking away from my job or whatever, just doing both at this point doing both. I'm continuing to grow Educare as I went through the program, and then I went through another program from Patrice Washington called command to stage where I was coaching, my speaking, it's almost like the more I invested in me, the more investments came my way. So the more work I did, the more opportunities I got, and not even advertising myself like not even pitching or putting myself out there asking people please hire me or please contract with me or please recruit me to speak, I didn't do any of that. I literally just continued to invest in myself, and to learn and to be connected to this community of people who were doing the same thing. And the more I did that, the more doors open for educate, and it just continued and it started to grow. And again, without a pitch without marketing, you know, other than the podcast and anything I put on social media, there was no marketing, there was none of that. But opportunities just continue to come my way through AdvoCare and it really really came to a head oh this past summer so summer 2021 I began to feel pressed. I began to feel pressed of doing all the things because I was literally working and I'm doing not just working but giving it my all at work and doing what I needed to do. And then I would come home in the evenings and work at daycare or hours. were educated on the weekends. And I would record podcast and I would record spoonfuls and I would reach out to clients and to companies and I would do contracts and all the things because you know, when you start an entrepreneurial journey, most of the time, it's just you. Like, there's no team, there's no staff, it's just you. So you got to do all the things. So I was doing my job and all the things required for my job. But I was also doing all the things that are required for my company and my business. And I really began to feel pressed, I really began to feel overwhelmed. I'm the burnout girl, right? I'm the one that encourages other people and talks to other folks about feeling overwhelmed and how overwhelm leads to burnout and how you need to disrupt those cycles and recognize your tell your symptom all that, like I'm the one that saying that. But please don't get it twisted. I am. I know I can say it because I know what it's like. I know what the experience is. So even as I'm out here, preaching it or sharing it, I got to practice what I preach. So I knew something had to change. And knew something had to change. I began, I was tell you, what's your tell te ll what is the symptom? How do you know, when you're feeling overwhelmed when you're doing too much when you're going in that direction. And I began to feel I began to feel like I was overwhelmed. It was too much. And I prayed and I won't forget this prayer, I prayed. And I said, I said, God, I can't keep doing it like this. I know that this is not the answer. So my prayer was either give me complete peace, about my work, my traditional work, and let me continue to serve. But give me give me peace in doing that. Or confirm for me that it's time for me to go do this other thing. But I can't do both. And I'm not saying that can't be done. Some people do it beautifully. But it wasn't working for me because the volume was growing. And both honestly, the volume was growing in both areas, and there was no way to hold both in excellence. If I can't do it, well, then I'm not going to do it. If I cannot do it with my whole heart, then I'm not I'm not gonna play with it. I'm not gonna play with it, I got to give my all. And I couldn't give my all to both. Because both are so demanding. So I just pray as like, I throw my hands up. I am not going to choose here. I want to know what you choose for me. I want to know what your will is. That's all I want. That's all I want. As much as I love Educare. As much as I love what I'm doing there. As much as I love my students and my team, I throw my hands up. And I say you tell me, you tell me what you want me to do in the season? What are you calling me to do? And that is what I'm going to do. You give me peace. And that is what I'm going to do. And it became very evident to me and I specifically asked, I specifically as I said, if it's Educare give me new opportunities that I didn't ask for, didn't look for and didn't expect. If it's Educare bring something out of the clear blue, that I had no expectation for new opportunities. That's that will be that will be my sign and see sometimes spiritually, we feel like we shouldn't be asking God for a sign. I don't know about you. But I know that I can be completely honest with him, and tell him where I am. And he's never judged me for not just not judge me. But he's met me right where I was. Will my faith grow? Will I get to a point where I don't need a sign? Yes, I believe that. But in this season with this crucial critical decision, I needed to know. And this is not playtime. This is my life. My family's life. This was important. My students, my staff, it was not something that I could play around with. So I say guy, you got to show me, you got to show me. So if it's time for me to let this go, there's work that I've done for over 20 years. If it's time for me to let this go, I will do it. If you say so, I'll do it. If I need to sit this, this love is new love that I have this baby. I feel like EduCare is my baby. If I need to sit that down for a little while. If I if I need to sit that down and keep doing what I'm doing. I do it. Whatever you tell me to do. I'll do it. And I found that Once you get to the point where you stop telling him what you want, and you ask him what he desires, that's when things get clear. And that's when you start to really know what you should be doing. So that was my prayer. The next day. I'm telling y'all, the next day, I got two opportunities out of the blue, that I didn't expect that I didn't ask for people who I don't even know. I said, How did you find me? I asked one of the people I said, How did you find me? And she said, Oh, you know, some agent had your name on never spoken to an agent. I don't know what agent she's talking about. I'm never connected with an agent. There's no agent that I go through to market my business. I've never done that. I don't even know how to do that. She's like, Yeah, it was a speaking Euro agent, and they recommended your name. I have no idea. I had never met these people before. They're in Texas. I'm here. And that's how they got my name. And then I got another opportunity from somebody that I do know. But it was an opportunity that I wasn't expecting. And I said, Okay, all right. I got it. I got it. I know what I'm supposed to do. I just got to pray about when and how. But I know what I'm supposed to do. Like I was convinced that was it. I knew it. I knew it. To the point where when we had moved in for our students in August. I remember the first day of moving before I walked into the building, I just sat in my car and I just cried. And the reason why I cried is because I knew it was my last one. I knew it. I knew it was my last one. I had done this for 22 years. And I knew before walking into that building, I said this is my last movie is my last one. And if no one in my heart. One thing I'll pause here to tell you is when you are in transition. And when God is calling you to a different place, I made a spoonful I think last week that said more than one thing can be true. With all of the excitement, and the anticipation and all the things that comes with something new. Often it also comes with some grief. It also comes with some letting go of some things that you really love. It's interesting when because when I left, when I walked away in 2019, I'll be honest and say I was escaping. Because I was overwhelmed. I was burnt out, I was not in a good place. It was God saying, Okay, I've got to get you out of here because it's not good for you anymore. And during that time, that five months, when we were both out of work, not one bill one on paid, we weren't hungry, we didn't change our lifestyle. We were fine. I covered everything. He just did it. And even in the moments that I wanted to freak out, I couldn't. Because every time we had a knee provision was there. It was right there. He just covered it. This transition is different. This transition is different, because he made it clear what he wanted me to do. But he didn't make me do it. He confirmed what he wanted done. But it was up to me to do it. And this transition, he didn't take me, you know, into this place where you know, I was waiting for manna from heaven. He took me into this place where now I'm working it. So I'm working the business, I'm working the contracts I'm serving well. And again, we work for nothing, but it's different. And one season it was manna from heaven, it was all him just pouring out and making sure we have what we need. And this season, he's giving me seed. He's giving me opportunity, and I'm responsible for stewarding the sea. So you got to recognize what season you're in when it's time to transition. And you've got to know that it comes with a variety of emotions and there's nothing wrong with any of your feelings or any of your emotions. All of them are valid, but we never make decisions based on how we feel. My pastor says that feelings are a gauge not a guide. So we need to pay attention to them. We need to be aware of how we feel because those feelings will help us understand what's going on with us so that we can address it, but you never bet make decisions based on how you feel. You made decisions based on what you know. So going back to August 2021. I knew I knew everything in me knew after that confirmation I didn't need another one. I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. But Edward didn't know yet. I had kind of drop hits and drop seems like they may not be in this position as long as we thought, you know, he kind of hurt me and didn't hear me and kind of thing like, okay, you know, alright. But I had to, like really tell him. Like, at that point, I had to really say, hey, like, I need you to hear me. I believe that I said that this semester is I think it's time who blessing, y'all. If you see my husband just love on him. He's been through a whole lot with me. If you see him, just love him. The back. He is a good man. He's a good man. I'm grateful for him. But he was looking at me like I had lost the light. Now look, let's this little girl. I need you to slow down. I need you to breathe. We have bills to pay our child, you know, just graduated college, she still needs us. We got parents who need us like, um, hold on. Now, wait a minute. Let's just slow it down. And he I mean, he was right. Logically he was right. But I prayed. And I say God as like, if I'm not crazy, if this is you, they you got to give him peace to you got to let him know, you got to let him know. And I stayed out of it. I didn't try to convince him. I just said what I thought I heard that saying, and I left it alone. And I tell him we always say this. He and I we always say this, that when God is truly speaking, he'll speak to both of us. And he'll give us peace. And that's where we left it. Like he always does, God will God if this is where he'll give you peace to. And I left it. I left it alone. I left it alone. And it was you know, a few weeks. But it wasn't long before he came to me. And he was convinced that God had spoken to him in his own way he knew it. He knew he knew it was time. He knew it was time. So we we looked at the calendar and consider what was going on. And we set a date and we knew it was time to put in the resignation, it was time to go full in to educate and to do what we believe I've been called to do. So you probably noticed that I didn't podcast a whole lot. Because I needed to make sure that I was hearing clearly I needed to be obedient. But I also needed to serve well. I wanted to make sure that I transitioned well, that I didn't just leave people high and dried and I didn't just walk away and people had to figure it out. That is God is not going to take you from one place to another and leave the people that you left lacking. That's not his will. That's not integrity. That's not what he's called us to do. So I needed to go full in for what once Edward and I were on the same page. I said, All right, I'm gonna pause on the on the podcast, I'm gonna pause on some things. I didn't pause on everything. I still had some speaking engagements, I still had some workshops to do, but I paused on most things, so that I could dig deep and serve my team and my colleagues and my students so well, so that I could prepare them for my transition and make the way for whoever's come in next. Here's the other thing when it's time for you to go. That means it's not somebody else's turn to step up. And when we overstay, we're in the way, sometimes we're holding on to something that's good, and it is good. But what you don't realize is when you're at a place, it won't stay good. So we when it is time to move, even if it wasn't the plan, what you expected, or even what others expected. When it's time for you to move, you got to get out of the way and prepare the way for who's next. So that's what I felt like I was supposed to do just really dig deep, and prepare the way for who's next. I didn't want them to have to guess about things that I know. I didn't want them to have to work hard to learn things that I've learned. I wanted to leave all of that for them so that they can start where we end it and soar from there and go not have to start over. So that's why you haven't heard much from me. That's why you haven't seen a whole lot from me, because I have invested the last few weeks I put in my resignation on November 1 So Since then I have been head first, in transitioning and preparing for the transition and preparing my team and doing everything that I possibly can to make sure that I have made the way clear for the next person who's coming behind me. So thank you for still being around, thank you for sticking in there and an understanding that that is what I needed to do. And I'll be honest, even that was an act of faith, because I was thinking, all my people are gonna be gone. When I get back, I'm not gonna have any podcast listeners, the whole hard work community is gonna leave like everybody's gonna be gone, because I'm not saying anything. It wasn't time for me to share yet, but God is faithful. And that's not true. Y'all are still here. People are still here, even live right now. But also the podcast has grown. The podcast has grown in the last few weeks, get this. The podcast has grown and listeners and in countries that is hurting, every week, I get an update in my weekly update this week and said you had 85 new listeners to the podcast, and I haven't uploaded a podcast and weeks. So it's just another testament of God's faithfulness. In my mind, he's showing Himself faithful. Alright, I'm getting ready to wrap it up, we're almost there. So put in my resignation, focused on transitioning. And as soon as I did that, it was almost like, I hit a button and the whole world just opened up. When I say that, I mean, when I submitted that resignation, opportunities came that I had no idea about that I wasn't looking for that I didn't even have in my mind. Literally, I'm booked from now through June 2022. I have responsibilities and things that I'm going to be doing through Educare through June 2022, at this point is December 16. Today, and all of that came about when I put in that resignation letter. And when I was finally able to say to the people that I needed to tell them that it's time for me to go. And I had to hold on to that resolve. There were days, you know that I thought, oh, man, what are you doing? What are you doing, but I had to hold on to what I know regardless of how I felt, and actually walk it out and do what I was called to do. And I'm telling you the business is just, it's good. Not just good. But it's it's set. It is said it is happening. It is happening, the thing that was born and probably one of the lowest points of my life is now living and thriving and growing. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. So wanted to come today to share with you all what's been going on what's been happening, what am I doing? So yes, I did resign from my position at my university. And I'm going full time into AdvoCare. And there's some consulting in there. There's some speaking in there, they have some coaching the HEartwork Academy is going to open again in 2022. So if you've been interested, I'm, I'm completing the cycle with my current HEartwork Academy folks. So we're working on completing their cycle, then I'll open it again, it's going to be bigger and better because I've learned so much through working with my first cohort. So I will be doing some coaching for individuals who would like to participate in that and working with companies and universities and organizations, mostly healthcare and education and doing some dei work, but also just some how to retain your best people. That's what we're working on. So it has grown into something that I didn't even imagine it would be. But it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And it's still growing. So the podcast is back. You can look forward to your episodes. Coaching is coming back the opening of the heart work Academy. I'll keep you all open. I'll keep you updated. But most of all, I'm just happy to have this community. And I hope through my sharing that you are encouraged that you're motivated. That you will follow your your lead the thing on the inside of you the thing that you are supposed to do don't compare your life to anybody else. When it was time for me to serve in a traditional job, that's what I did. And I did it well. And when it was time for me to transition, that's what I did. Don't move because somebody else moves. Don't even move because that's how you feel. Remember, your emotions are gauged not a guide. You make decisions based on what you know, and what's true for you and what you need to be doing in that season. So that's what I want to encourage you to do. So that's it, y'all. We're going full time. We are full time. And I'm meeting with clients this week and working with contracts and getting ready for 2022. And here we go. Here we go. So thank you for taking this ride with with me with us. Thank you for being a part of this community. And I just pray that every time we interact, you get something that you need, so that you can keep going keep pushing, keep serving, but do it in a way that you can sustain and be healthy. So I love you. As always, you are powerful. You are significant. And you are loved, love always PBJ