Disrupting Burnout
Disrupting Burnout with Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson is dedicated to overworked, undervalued high-achieving servant leaders who give all to serve others and leave very little for yourself. You are an accomplished woman with many responsibilities and you often find yourself overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out. I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, burnout almost cost me everything. Compassionate work can carry a high price tag: your mind, body, spirit and relationships may be in distress as you serve the needs of others. I am here to equip your hands and refresh your heart so you can serve in purpose and fulfillment and permanently break cycles of burnout.
Disrupting Burnout
129. Embracing Your Hidden Brilliance: A Journey of Self-Discovery
Hey Friend,
Have you ever considered that the traits you've been undervaluing might actually be your greatest strengths? This week on the podcast, in an episode titled "Embracing Your Hidden Brilliance: A Journey of Self-Discovery," we delve into the untapped potential that lies within each of us.
Join me, Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, as I share enlightening moments from the recent ICON Conference in Summerville, South Carolina. You'll hear the inspiring story of my team member, Sharon, who found that her natural confrontational skills—often viewed negatively—were actually vital to her success and an integral part of her brilliance.
This episode will guide you through the process of recognizing and leveraging your unique capabilities for both personal and professional growth. Learn why brilliance, unlike fleeting passions, is an innate quality that remains with you through all stages of life.
I'll also share a personal anecdote about my attempts to protect Sharon from feeling overwhelmed, which inadvertently limited her growth, showcasing the importance of empathy and vulnerability in leadership. Furthermore, I propose the idea of forming a cohort designed to help others discover and celebrate their inherent brilliance.
Tune in to start embracing your authentic self and unlock the intrinsic power and love you already possess. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together and celebrate the unique strengths that make us who we are.
Love Always,
PBJ
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Friend, if you have ever heard me talk about brilliance, you need to hear this and, as a matter of fact, if you've never heard me talk about brilliance, you really need to hear this. I had an experience this weekend that allowed me to understand brilliance even deeper and that will empower you to identify your brilliance and the brilliance of those around you. Friend, you got to hear this. You got to hear this. Come on, let's talk about it. Hey friend, I am Dr Patrice Buckner-Jackson, but you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Disrupting Burnout, where we are giving you the strategies for pouring out purpose without living with the consequences of burnout. Friend, I cannot wait to share this with you. As a matter of fact, I'm about ready to write book number two after this. Okay, that is how powerful this revelation was for me this weekend. So I had the honor of serving, speaking and doing a workshop at the ICON Conference in Somerville, south Carolina. Shout out to Sonia Sutherland and the Innovate Human Capital Solutions Dream Team. This conference brings professionals from multiple industries together business owners, professionals, hr executives and we come together in one space. There are breakout sessions, but there are also plenary sessions where we're all together, learning across these industries. It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. So I had the opportunity to share at the gala, as well as in a workshop concerning Discover your Brilliance. Now, if you're new here, you may not know this, but we disrupt burnout through three strategies called the heart work journey, and those strategies are checking your baggage, building your boundaries and discovering your brilliance. And when I tell you, discover your brilliance is my favorite place to hang out, listen, it is the strategy that has transformed my life in the most powerful way and so many people that I have the honor of serving with. Now, you can't get to brilliance very well if you don't work on that backpack and them boundaries friend. But discover your brilliance is where this freedom comes. So I had the opportunity to share discover your brilliance, as we do often. I had the opportunity to share Discover your Brilliance, as we do often.
Speaker 1:My team member, my Educare team member, sharon, was with me. She travels with me and assists with so many things in this business. Sharon and I had a little celebratory dinner after the conference was over. We had an opportunity to talk about what we learned during the conference, to have some good old seafood from Charleston, south Carolina. Listen, if you've never been to Charleston? What are you waiting for If you've never been to Paige's Okra Grill? Listen, hear me, are we friends or are we friends? You need to go to Paige's Okra Grill. That's all I got to say. There's one in Somerville and one in Mount Pleasant. You need to make your way, because that's it and there's nothing else to say Just go.
Speaker 1:So Sharon and I were celebrating a successful conference and having our dinner at Paige's at pages and this conversation has come up often, because she hears me share about brilliance pretty often. So we've, off and on through our time working together, had discussions about what her brilliance is, but it always felt like we didn't quite put our finger on it, like we would get close, but it just didn't quite feel like we had found it, like we had discovered the treasure. That's the first thing I want you to know about brilliance. It's a journey. This discover your brilliance is not a one-time, one-shot sit down, okay, I got it, check the block, like often. People can get very close to it, some people even identify it, but then you get to know it even in a deeper way as you continue the exploration of your own life. So Sharon and I have had this conversation on several occasions, but we just didn't feel like we got there. So we were discussing the workshop and discussing some of the takeaways and learning outcomes that people got and Sharon started, you know, talking about her own impact. Your brilliance is your innate, unique value that you bring to the world, the impact that you've always had. It's the who of who you are.
Speaker 1:And in talking about this, sharon at one point brought up. She said well, many people have said I'm confrontational. And I said well, tell me more about that. She said yeah, throughout my life people have said that I'm confrontational and the way she said it it was like that's a bad thing. So I asked her. I said is that a bad thing? Is it bad to be confrontational? And she began to recount situations and circumstances where being confrontational has been an advantage. And when we talk about confrontational because you may be thinking the same way confrontation doesn't have to be a fight, it doesn't have to be ugly. It just means that Sharon has a natural ability of being direct and addressing whatever the thing is. It doesn't even have to be uncomfortable, but Sharon has a natural, innate ability to stand in the space and address whatever the thing is.
Speaker 1:But then she said could confrontation be my brilliance? And I just didn't feel like that was it, because I know that in the way that she serves me, it's not always through confrontation. I've seen that part come out and it was needed in those situations and I was grateful that she was on the team to handle some of those challenges. But that was not the whole of what she did and the impact that she has on me, the impact that she has on this work, so I just didn't feel like confrontation was the brilliance. But then I thought I said you know, but I think it is a tool and this tool aspect is something that we've never considered, we never talked about. It was the first time that it came up in regards to discovering your brilliance, time that it came up in regards to discovering your brilliance.
Speaker 1:But as she spoke more, we began to identify some of her tools. So confrontation is a tool. She's willing to stand in the uncomfortable place, stand in the place of tension and address whatever the questions are. I would also say that speaking, whether speaking up or speaking on behalf of let's just call that advocacy Advocacy is one of her tools. Advocacy is something that she uses not just professionally, but in other areas of her life. She will stand up for the person who needs support and she naturally does it without it being forced, without having to make it up. It just naturally flows from her. Another tool that we identified in Sharon is ingenuity. Like, sharon is MacGyver, you hear me, sharon is MacGyver.
Speaker 1:There has not been one challenge that I have brought up to her that she could not find a way to deal with it. I'll give y'all an example. So at the gala this past weekend we all got these yellow wrist bands. They were kind of like yellow ribbon and it had a black clasp on it and the more you pulled in the black clasp, the tighter the ribbon became. So I just assumed that I could pull the clasp in the opposite direction and it would loosen so that I could take it off, because I had on a formal dress. I didn't want to do my keynote in the wristband either way. So I'm trying to pull this thing off and it won't come off like the the. The class will go in the direction of making it tighter, but not in the direction of making it looser. So I'm thinking, man, I really don't want to go up there with this on my wrist, my my dress was navy blue. I didn't want to have the yellow thing. So I look at Sharon and said can you get yours off? And she tried and oh no, it's not coming off. And Sharon says give me a fork. I said what are you going to do? Give me a fork. And it's not unusual at all.
Speaker 1:There have been times that paperclips and pliers and all kinds of things have come up to answer the problem. And guess what? It answered the problem. Like whatever she came up with, it answered the problem. So she has this knack for ingenuity. So, as we continue to explore her tools, she said something that just smacked me in the face. She said I move mountains. And I said whoa, whoa, stop, stop. What did you just say? She said I move mountains. I said tell me what you mean by that. She said well, earlier today. So I did a workshop earlier in that day and at one point during the workshop I got a little choked up, not crying, but like choked up, um, like needed to cough.
Speaker 1:All the things right, and it was right, and it was just a moment. It was just a moment, but it was long enough for people to pay attention. But I got through. It took a deep breath and kept rolling. The next thing I know Sharon is coming back in the room. I didn't even see her leave, but she comes back in the room and she's got water in her hand, right. I didn't ask any questions. I drank the water, kept going.
Speaker 1:When my workshop was over, I looked over. Sharon was there with another cup of water, right. What I didn't know is she ended up going downstairs to the restaurant, to the front desk, like to find that cup of water. She went all over that hotel to get that cup of water. Now, the second cup, she found a closer. Um, there was water upstairs, but we just didn't know it.
Speaker 1:Long story short, whatever it took to take care of the challenge, whatever it took to take care of my dry throat, that is what she's going to do and that has shown up over and over and over. Whatever it takes to take care of the problem, she is going to find a way. She moves mountains. It's her brilliance and both of us. Just I mean, like it has been in our faces. It has been. This brilliance has been so loud, but maybe we were too close to see it or maybe we just didn't take enough time to dig into it. But when we look back over our time working together almost one year now but even outside of her professional life and other arenas of life, she can recount ways that she has moved the mountain, that she has solved the problem, and she naturally does it. And we always say, you know, I always say that your brilliance is your kryptonite and your superpower. Right? So the superpower is Sharon is going to solve the problem. The kryptonite could be maybe she solves problems that are not hers to solve. That's not what's happened in our relationship, but that's a challenge that could possibly happen. Another kryptonite could be that she is so focused on solving the problem that she can't let it go Like there must be a solution, there must be an answer, there must be a resolution, so it can become overwhelming if she's not willing to release it when she can't find an adequate solution. So here's the revelation, right?
Speaker 1:If you've heard me talk about brilliance before, you know your brilliance is your innate, unique value that you bring. It's who you are. You didn't get it when you got the promotion, when you got the special job, when you got the certification, when you got the degree. This brilliance has been a part of you, all of your life, and most of us don't give value to our brilliance because it comes so natural to us. It feels like, well, everybody does that thing right, or everybody sees the world that way, or everybody shows up this way right? No, friend, everybody doesn't. It is your unique, innate brilliance. You are the one, you're the one. So you've got to think about how can I investigate my own life? And especially today, we struggle to see ourselves because we're so busy looking at other people, especially on social media, and even if you're not a Facebook, instagram person, even on LinkedIn, it is easy to get sucked in of watching someone else's life and someone else's story that you miss the value of your own.
Speaker 1:So investigating the tools, so let's walk through it. So there's a brilliance and that brilliance is the heart of who you are. Some people may call this purpose. It is that innate, unique value that you bring to the world, that you use to impact people around you. No matter where you are, it goes with you. I said this last week to someone everywhere you go, there you are, so that brilliance is there, even if you're in a job where you feel like you're not engaging in your brilliance. How do you bring that brilliance to the workplace? How do you bring that brilliance to the work that you're doing right now? Because everywhere you are, there you are, that brilliance is still there. Whether you're doing work that you love or not, that brilliance is still there. So how can you maximize bringing that brilliance with you in the work that you do, so from your brilliance? Next, you have these tools. This is the new part. So if you've heard me talk about brilliance before, this is a piece we haven't discussed because it's a piece that I just discovered.
Speaker 1:So what are your tools? What are the methods by which you use to share your brilliance with the world? So, for Sharon, it was confrontation, it was advocacy, it was speaking up, it's ingenuity. These are the tools that she uses to bring her brilliance, which is solving the problem, to the earth right. What are your tools? So, for me, my brilliance is crisis and solving crisis, walking folks through crisis. But my tools are empathy, my tools are vulnerability. My tools are listening. I have an innate ability to really hear what a person is saying, even beyond what they think they're saying right. Those are the tools that I use to walk folks through crisis.
Speaker 1:Now there may be, and I'm sure there are many people who have brilliance related to crisis resolution or crisis management, but their tools may be strategy. Their tools may be something different than what I use. Your tools are what makes your brilliance unique to you. Hear me, your specific combination of tools is what makes your brilliance so unique to you, so specific. In our heart work community, there's a member who was talking about her brilliance and she called it her brand of brilliance. Right. So your brilliance may be, you can take something very complicated and make it simple for people to understand, but what makes it your brand and what makes it unique to you are the is the combination of tools that you use to share that brilliance. What are your tools? What are the tools that you use to share your brilliance with the world? The biggest misconception I see when it comes to brilliance and when it comes to purpose is people believe that their passions are their purpose. Passion and purpose are not the same thing. Passion without the brilliance on it as a boundary can be reckless. It can be dangerous.
Speaker 1:Passions are roles that you love, that you're on fire about, that you love that light you up, that frustrate you, that evoke emotion, deep emotion in you right. Those roles may be your parent role or your partner role, or your work role, or your service role, or your role in your family of origin. You have different roles in your life, right, and you are passionate about those roles, but none of those roles are your actual brilliance. Those roles are just how you impact the world. It is how you share your brilliance with the world. It is the space that you stand in to pour out brilliance.
Speaker 1:And here's the thing about passions they can change throughout your life, in different seasons of your life. If you look back over your life, you've had different roles. You've had different passions. You've had different responsibilities, you've had different jobs. Those seasons of your life change and if you wrap your identity around a specific passion, when it's time for that passion to change, you won't know who you are. You'll have an identity crisis. But the thing that you can lean on and depend on is the brilliance. It stays the same. That brilliance stays with you throughout your life. It may look different, it may show up in different ways, but it's the same brilliance over and over and over and over. What is the impact that you have? What is the difference between you doing a certain job and somebody else doing that same job. What do we lose if you were no longer with us, if you're no longer at the job, if you were no longer in that role, if you were no longer in that seat? What do we lose? What goes with you, it's your brilliance, but it's also the tools that you use to share that brilliance with the world.
Speaker 1:I'm here to tell you that, as a leader, knowing Sharon's brilliance is transformational for both of us, because it empowers me to get out of her way and honor the way that she shows up and what she needs to pour out. You need to pour out brilliance. You need to show up in the fullness of who you are, knowing that she is a problem solver, and it just it wrecks me how long it took us to put our finger on it and it has been so loud. Now that we're aware of it, we look back and say, gosh, we should have known this. It's so loud but sometimes the closer you are to a person, the harder it is for you to see. But the power of identifying her brilliance.
Speaker 1:So for us walking folks through crisis with that empathy and vulnerability and being able to see and hear people, one of my natural inclinations is to protect, is to lift the weight off of other people, is to not put too much on folks. But now I know Sharon's brilliance is to solve the problem and in my effort to lift the weight, to protect her from overwhelm or working too much or whatever, I've been in her way at times. You know there have been times I have said, hey, don't worry about it, we don't have to fix it, it's fine, we'll work around it, it's okay. And now I know for her that is extremely frustrating to not resolve it, to not fix it, to not have resolution to whatever it is. And my intent, my intent was to lift the burden, but the impact would have been, or the impact was that the burden was increased because I blocked her from showing up in her brilliance.
Speaker 1:Man, I believe that as leaders and as supervisors, as managers, we have the right intentions, but sometimes our intentions are connected more to who we are than to who we're serving with. Sometimes our intentions are more connected to our own brilliance, as that not only they will be empowered and understand the value that they bring to the team, but also so we will know how to make space for them, so we will know how to allow, because you don't have to make somebody show up in brilliance, you don't have to force that, but you can stand in the way. You can stand in the way and what I've found is, if we allow people to flourish in their brilliance, there is a loyalty, there is an intrinsic motivation, there's a new fire, it's like revival, it's like coming alive again, when a person one identifies the value that they bring to the team and two has the opportunity and space to maximize that value. So, friend, I want to encourage you today. I want to encourage you to work with and walk with your folks, help them identify their brilliance. How do we do that, pbj?
Speaker 1:I feel like I do this workshop, but I feel like I want to pull a cohort of people together to walk through, discover your Brilliance. I've done this once before, but I think it's time to do it again, because I get this question pretty often. I want us to walk through it so that you know exactly how to discover your own brilliance, but how to help others discover theirs as well. It makes all the difference when you know who you are. It makes all the difference when you know that there is space for you and that you are honored and valued in what you bring, not your hustle, not your overworking, not your overachieving, but by showing up in the fullness of who you've always been. All right, friend, I got to let you go. As always, you are powerful, you are significant and you are loved. Love always, pbj.
