Disrupting Burnout
Disrupting Burnout with Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson is dedicated to overworked, undervalued high-achieving servant leaders who give all to serve others and leave very little for yourself. You are an accomplished woman with many responsibilities and you often find yourself overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out. I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, burnout almost cost me everything. Compassionate work can carry a high price tag: your mind, body, spirit and relationships may be in distress as you serve the needs of others. I am here to equip your hands and refresh your heart so you can serve in purpose and fulfillment and permanently break cycles of burnout.
Disrupting Burnout
134. Resetting Rhythms: A Sustainable Approach to Avoiding Burnout
Access the S.T.O.P. Plan here, Friend.
- This is a free resource to support your journey toward a more sustainable rhythm of life.
Discover the strength you never knew you had by resetting your life’s rhythm and combating burnout with Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson, also known as PBJ. Ever wonder why you're constantly exhausted despite trying to balance everything? Listen in to uncover the secrets of maintaining productivity without overwhelming your nervous system. In this episode of the Disrupting Burnout podcast, I share my personal journey and essential strategies for making small but powerful changes in your daily routine. Through the concept of micro breaks and intentional pauses, learn how to differentiate between what's important and what's truly critical in your life.
Join me as I delve into the empowering world of simplicity and its transformative effects. These bold steps can recharge your well-being, enabling you to fulfill your purpose without succumbing to the relentless pace of daily life. We'll explore how to organize resources and seek support from your network, overcoming the common reluctance to ask for help. Let’s redefine what it means to care for ourselves, embrace our inherent brilliance, and recognize the love that surrounds us. Get ready to step into a new chapter where self-care isn't just a priority, but a way of life.
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Hey friend, welcome back to the Disrupting Burnout podcast. Friend, if you are new here, I am Dr Patrice Buckner-Jackson, but you can call me PBJ, and here at Disrupting Burnout, we give you the strategies for pouring out purpose without continuing to live in the consequences of burnout. Listen, friend. If you are the giver, if you are the dedicated one, if you are the dependable one, if you're the one that everybody calls on, if you are an accomplished woman, if you are an accomplished educator, healthcare person, a person who pours out your heart constantly, you're always living with your empathy meter on high, focused on the needs of others. This is for you, this is your space, this is where you can come and recover and learn and be seen and be heard, and it is my honor to serve you. So welcome, or welcome back. I have so much to share with you for our new season, so let's get right into it. I want to talk to you about a rhythm reset. You may say, pbj, where you been? It's been a few months. We haven't seen you. We haven't heard from you in the podcast. Where have you been, friend? I have been resetting my rhythm. What do I mean by that?
Speaker 1:Most of us in today's age, we live with a rhythm like this. Every day is like Groundhog's Day. We wake up first thing in the morning. As soon as our eyes open, it's go time. We got to check the email, we got to get the house together. We got to feed people, we got to take care of our own bodies. We got to get out of the house, we got to get to work. We got to do this, do that. And we are running until the point where we collapse in the evening, maybe not rest, may not even sleep, but collapse. And we wake up the next morning. And we do it all over again, all over again, all over again, and we keep telling ourselves well, I'll rest this weekend, or I'll rest when I take that vacation, or let me just get through this tough time at work, let me just get through the opening of school, let me just get through moving students in or out, let me just get through this semester, and then I'll rest. And the rest that you seek has not come.
Speaker 1:If this most of us, our rhythms are so out of whack, it's not sustainable, it's not healthy for our body, it's not healthy for our mind. You may be moving about doing things, or you may be sedentary and sitting, but you're constantly engaging with information and with people and taking more and more in. Your rhythm is out of whack. So when I say rhythm reset, I want to encourage you to reset your normal baseline. What is your optimal rhythm for your life where you can be productive, you can accomplish your personal and professional goals, but you are not driving your nervous system to the point of dysregulation. What is that normal baseline, normal rhythm that you want to set in your life? When you have a normal rhythm, you know what to come back to when you get off. Most of us can't even tell when we've gotten off our rhythm, because we don't know what normal is or the crazy out of whack rhythm has become your normal. So when you reset your normal to a sustainable rhythm, when you reset yourself to a place that you can sustain for a long time, not just what you can do in a small window, when you start to veer away from that rhythm, you are aware of it and you have a home base to come back to, friend. What is home base for you? What does that rhythm look like for you? So I'm going to tell you a little bit about what I've been doing to reset my rhythm and I'm going to come back in future episodes and walk you through how you can do it for yourself.
Speaker 1:Because as soon as I say this out of my mouth, I know you're saying PBJ, it sounds good, but you don't know my life. It sounds good, but I have children. I have small children. That sounds phenomenal, but we are short-staffed at work and there's nobody for me to give my work to. Or it sounds great, but I have a boss or supervisor or leader or organization who does not honor all the things that you're talking about. So I don't know how I'm ever going to get a break, because they would not be open to it.
Speaker 1:Friend, I'm here to tell you, I'm going to help you. I'm going to help you, pbj, I can't stop. I don't have time to stop. If I stop, all of this falls apart. We're short-staffed, I don't have anybody that can take my place at work. I don't have support at home or at work to stop.
Speaker 1:Friend, if any of these thoughts come to mind when you think about taking a break, you are the person who needs to stop the most. I want to offer you our stop plan Simple. I want you to use the same strategies and wisdom and skills that you use at work, and I'm going to guide you to using those strategies to plan micro breaks. I'm not talking about a month's sabbatical, but can you incorporate micro breaks into your life as a regular rhythm of rest so that while you are serving, while you are giving, you can have moments of revival, so that you can live the life you're living sustainably? Friend, you need to grab this stop plan. Make sure to click the link in the show notes or wherever you're watching or listening to this, so that you can get what you need right now. It can't wait. I know you do a wonderful job, but people don't know what it costs you to be you, and you know what the cost has been. It's time to stop. Grab the plan today.
Speaker 1:So my rhythm reset started in late November, early December 2024. Now, for those of you who have been on this journey with me, you know that my book was published in January 2024 and we did book tours and book launch events and speaking and traveling all over the country. And it was a dream come true and I loved every minute of it, and I failed to pause and realize the rhythm that I was running in. I failed to recognize the signs and symptoms of needing to slow down, needing to reset. And so by November, I was feeling the pressure. By November not just all of the beautiful things of 2024, but some of the challenges and the pressures and the life things that happen I really, really began to feel the weight. And if there's one thing I know for sure I might not recognize it in the moment, but, friend, I know when it's going too far and when I need to stop. And that's the first thing I did I stopped. I went away physically.
Speaker 1:I call that sabbatical rest, when you separate yourself from all of your normal responsibilities, to go to another place so that you can be quiet, so that you can seek rest, so that you can reset, and seek rest so that you can reset. And that's what I did. I went away to a place Only a couple of human beings knew where I was. And here's the thing I still had a little bit of work to do. I had a virtual conference to speak at, I had a couple meetings I needed to do that week and it was fine. I was able to do the things that I had to do. But it also afforded me some separation, some recovery, some reset. I went where there's water because water ministers to me and outside of those things that I had to do, I just sat. I fueled my body with nutritious food. I made sure I had lots of salad and fruit and lots of water. That week I limited my intake to social media and TV and all the things and to other people. I went to a place where no one knew me so that I could just be and not be required to do anything, and that was the start of the rhythm reset for me.
Speaker 1:I don't know about you, but sometimes, when I'm in the hustle and bustle, I can't even think clearly enough to figure out what my next move needs to be. So that's why I encourage you. The first thing you need to do is stop, and I know it seems so impossible with all the things going on in your life, but I've got to let you know that a stop is the most important thing that you can do. So I want to share this acronym with you. I want to share a few steps with you on how you can stop, because you truly can. So I want to walk you through how you can stop, the first thing I want you to do when it's time for a stop is I want you to schedule the stop, friend. Everything that is important to you is in your calendar. Your doctor's appointments are in your calendar, your work meetings are in your calendar, your family obligations are in your calendar, and you know. If it's not in your calendar, it's not going to happen. Friend, you need to look ahead right now and determine what dates you're going to stop. Well, what do I say to this one? What do I say to that one? We will get there. Just walk with me. Just walk with me. But the first thing I need to encourage you to do is to stop. You got to schedule that stop.
Speaker 1:So the essence, stop is to schedule your stop. When is a date, when is a time that you can set aside? This may look like a day while the kids are in school. This may look like a long weekend that you have coming up. That's an off day from work anyway. This may look like you taking a day off. This may look like you physically going away. This may look like you being going away. This may look like you being away from the house during the day and coming back in the evening. But you got to put something on the calendar. You've got to prioritize this and make a decision. Make a decision that you are going to make this happen, so schedule it. Look at your calendar right now. No time is perfect. The to-do list is never done. The demands never stop coming in, the requests will never stop. You have to schedule your stop, so find a time.
Speaker 1:The T in stop is triaging your responsibilities. What do I mean? I know that everything in your life is urgent and important. I want you to determine what's important versus what's critical. So what are the things that are important and you will come back to and you will continue taking care of, but you can pause them for a moment and what are the things that are critical? That must continue no matter what? I'll give you my example. So this podcast, for example. This podcast is important. It is my heart's passion to share with you all. It is also an engine for my business. Many people meet me through the podcast and then give me an opportunity to come and speak. So this podcast is one of the most important parts of what I what I'm doing with my life right now.
Speaker 1:But when I looked at what's critical, I decided that I could pause on the podcast for a few weeks. There are over 130 episodes out there right now, so anybody who needed me needed my voice, needed some encouragement, some direction. There are 132 episodes out there that folks could go back and listen to. So, as important as this podcast is to me, to you, to my business, I determined that it did not fit into critical. Now. I had some contracts to speak that I had already signed. I had given my word that I would speak at that virtual conference or that I would coach a couple of people that week. In my mind, those were critical because I had obligated myself and failure to do those things would have had a domino effect. That is unfair. So those things were critical. So I kept those on the agenda and I paused the podcast.
Speaker 1:I have the group of women that I do life with the heart work community. We walk with each other and I lead that group. I pause the group and it doesn't mean I don't love them and they're not important to me and they understand, because life be lifing for them too. But I pause because I don't love them and they're not important to me and they understand, because life be lifing for them too. But I pause because I don't want to keep showing up like I have something to give when I know I'm empty. So it's important. But it wasn't critical. Critical was I needed to take care of my body. Critical was I needed to take care of my mind take care of my body. Critical was I needed to take care of my mind. I made sure I had a couple of appointments set up for counseling and therapy, met with our pastor. Those things in the moment were critical.
Speaker 1:When you are trying to decide what's important versus what's critical, I want you to think about and this may be hard to consider but what if you couldn't? What if, for some reason, you could not do what you do on a daily basis? Maybe there was a health reason or another critical reason. What would happen then? What would stay and what would go If you absolutely had to make a decision? What would happen then? What would stay and what would go If you absolutely had to make a decision? What would be critical? Care of your family, care of your children, care for your own body, what would be critical and what is important, and things that you will come back to when you can, but they don't fall into critical. So S you need to schedule your stuff. You got to make a decision. You got to honor it, prioritize it, put it on the calendar T. You need to triage your responsibilities and you need to decide what is critical versus what is important.
Speaker 1:The O is you need to organize your resources. Who or what can help you? Friend, now listen, stay with me, because I know that our folks, you, us, we struggle with asking for help. We have a hard time admitting that we need help and, if we're honest, there's something in our invisible backpack that guides us to feel that way. And yours might not look like mine, but all of us have something in our backpack that discourages us from saying I need help. But here, in this moment, I'm here to tell you that in order for you to reset your rhythm, in order for you to have an effective stop, you are going to have to engage your resources.
Speaker 1:So who are the people in your life who can help you? Who are the family members? Who are the friends? Who are the colleagues? What are the systems? What is the AI? What, what? I don't know. What are the resources that can help you while you stop? One of my resources was a team member. Letting that team member know I am going away for a week and during this week I need to, I need to disconnect as much as possible. Will you cover me for a week? And yes, I know everybody's busy, I know everybody's overwhelmed, but is it possible that that colleague will cover you and then you can cover them? Is it possible that you can make sure everybody gets some time? Is it possible that you can make sure everybody gets some time? You got to organize your resources and you got to be willing to say that you need help and sometimes that resource is right.
Speaker 1:In your house, people who you feel like should know you need help and you shouldn't ask. You shouldn't have to ask, friend, I'm telling you, I keep learning this Even the people who love you the most are not mind readers. Even the people who love you the most are not mind readers. They need to know what you need. You can be in the same room, living in the same house and having a different experience. It's not lack of love, it's not that they don't care, but they can't reach your mind and they are experiencing life differently than you are experiencing life.
Speaker 1:I heard Dr Anita Phillips on a podcast. She's a therapist and just phenomenal person. But Dr Anita Phillips talked about when she counseled families and she said if there were five people in that family, you're going to get five different experiences, to the point that often she said, are y'all in the same house? Were you at the same event? Was this the same Thanksgiving dinner? Because everybody has their own experience. We're in the same circumstances but we experience it differently.
Speaker 1:So don't assume that if they loved you, they would help. Don't assume that they should help without you asking. Friend, they don't know. I'm talking about good people now. I'm not talking about abuse. I'm talking about good people. They don't know. They don't know what you need. It's obvious to you, but it's not obvious to them.
Speaker 1:So you need to organize your resources. Who or what can help you? What automation can you put in place for something to happen automatically without you thinking about it? What person can you reach out to to say I'm drowning, I need help here. Can you help me for two days? Can you help me for three days? Can you help me for a week? Can you help me for a long weekend? You got to organize your resources. You have more help than you think, but unless you engage that help, you're not going to get what you need, all right. So you got to schedule your stop. You have to triage your responsibilities, you have to organize your resources and, finally, I want you to prepare your boundaries and your communication. That's the P Prepare your boundaries and your communication.
Speaker 1:What does that mean? Expect that people will want to connect with you while you're away. Expect that the email is going to keep coming in. Expect that someone is going to have a crisis and they're going to be looking for you. Plan for how you're going to set up your boundaries and what communication you want to give to folks. So, for example, if you plan to be away from your phone, maybe you say I'm going to check my phone at noon and at 5 pm For whoever's taking care of my kids, or maybe my adult children. I am going to check my phone twice a day. Or maybe for a partner who's not with you in this stop away place. Right, I'm going to check my phone twice a day, send me a text or send me a call and I will respond during those times if needed. And prepare people. Let them know. This is only if you need me, if it's not on fire. This is only if you need me If it's not on fire, if it's not falling apart, if it's not a crisis. This is the week that I need to be alone. Prepare your boundaries. Think ahead of what you need. Where can you go where nobody will engage with you? Or, if you need engagement, where can you go where you can get that engagement without feeling responsible or obligated to do anything?
Speaker 1:Prepare your boundaries and your communication.
Speaker 1:What do you need to say? Who do you need to tell that you are away? Maybe it's an out-of-office message on your email. Maybe it's an out of office message on your email. Maybe it's an automatic response on your social media. If you're a business person, maybe you need to tell somebody that you love. But you need to prepare what you're going to say so that you don't feel overwhelmed in the moment when you do go away. You want the most important folks to know what their boundaries are, and important folks to know what their boundaries are, and you want to know what those boundaries are.
Speaker 1:So prepare your boundaries, prepare your communication ahead of time so when you go, you can go with a clear heart. You don't have to worry about hurting anybody's feelings or whatever story we tell ourselves about taking the stop that we so critically need. So, friend, in resetting your rhythm, you're moving from a fast-paced, overwhelming, paced, overwhelming, overburdened, anxious rhythm to a sustainable, home-based rhythm. The first thing you need to do is stop. First thing you need to do is stop. You have got to schedule your time away, you need to triage your responsibilities, you need to organize your resources and you need to prepare your boundaries and your communication ahead of time so that, when you take this stop, it can truly be refreshing for you.
Speaker 1:All right, I'm coming back next week to talk to you more about this rhythm reset. I want to talk to you more about the things that I did after my stop and some things that I discovered about myself. It's more simple than you think, friend, and I know we think that the simple thing can't be powerful, it can't be enough. Pbj, you don't understand the weight that I'm under. You don't understand the level of burnout that I'm living on. It can't be this simple. I'm here to tell you the things that we ignore are the things that make the most difference. Walk with me in this, friend. All right, let's keep going. I'll see you next week. As always, you are powerful, you are significant, you are brilliant and you are loved. Love always, pbj. Bye friend.
