Disrupting Burnout
Disrupting Burnout with Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson is dedicated to overworked, undervalued high-achieving servant leaders who give all to serve others and leave very little for yourself. You are an accomplished woman with many responsibilities and you often find yourself overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out. I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, burnout almost cost me everything. Compassionate work can carry a high price tag: your mind, body, spirit and relationships may be in distress as you serve the needs of others. I am here to equip your hands and refresh your heart so you can serve in purpose and fulfillment and permanently break cycles of burnout.
Disrupting Burnout
141. The True Cost of Powering Through
"The question is not if you can do it. The question is, what is it costing you to do it?" This powerful challenge from Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson (PBJ) forms the foundation of a transformative conversation about sustainable success for high-achieving women.
For those accustomed to powering through, your remarkable ability to handle multiple responsibilities might actually be your greatest vulnerability. You're absolutely capable—but at what price? Your strength, intelligence, and resilience have gotten you this far, but they may also blind you to the signals your body sends when you're approaching burnout.
Dr. PBJ delivers practical wisdom for resetting your rhythm even amid chaos. Whether facing work demands, caregiving responsibilities, health challenges, or educational pursuits, waiting until life calms down to implement rest practices isn't realistic. Instead, she introduces the STOP plan for incorporating micro-breaks into your daily routine, emphasizing that rest isn't what happens after everything else—it's a priority that makes everything else possible.
Through real-life examples including completing her dissertation while working full-time and observing a friend navigate a devastating diagnosis, Dr. PBJ illustrates how accepting your current season and adjusting expectations accordingly isn't weakness but wisdom. The powerful "big rocks" analogy reminds us that rest deserves prime position in our planning, not whatever space remains after filling our lives with smaller obligations.
As Dr. PBJ powerfully states, "Overwhelm is the whisper, burnout is the demand." Your body will eventually force you to stop if you don't choose to do so intentionally. Click the link to grab your STOP plan and learn how to honor your nervous system before it demands attention in ways and at times not of your choosing.
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And let me say this as well this is not about your ability, because you can say, pbj, I can do it and I believe you, I know you can. The question is not if you can do it. The question is, what is it costing you to do it? So many professional women that I speak to, because you have the ability, because you are intelligent, because you are strong, because you've been through trouble before, because you know how to navigate it, you think that you can continue to take on the weight that you take on, just because you can. And I'm here to tell you I know you can. Yes, I believe you, you're right, but the question is not can you? The question is, what are you willing to pay?
Speaker 1:Hey, friend, welcome to another episode of the Disrupting Burnout podcast, where we are giving you the strategies for pouring out purpose without continuing to live through the consequences of burnout. Friend, I am Dr Patrice Buckner-Jackson and you can call me PBJ, and it is my honor to serve you. Listen, if you're watching, if you normally listen, these episodes are up on YouTube as well. If you're watching, you may say PBJ, where are you? That is not your normal background. And you're watching. You may say PPJ, where are you? That is not your normal background, and you are right, I am on the road. Right now, I'm in Syracuse, new York. Today I'm serving in Oswego and then tomorrow I'm serving in Syracuse, and then I go home the next day. So, yes, this is not my normal space. This is not my normal studio. Okay, I'm not at the house, but I just want to make sure that I keep these episodes going, no matter where I am. So welcome to the road trip with me. I'm glad you are here, friend.
Speaker 1:Today I want to spend a little bit more time talking to you about what it practically looks like to reset your rhythm. I know that we've already had an episode where I gave you tips on what you can do, but I want to give you some real life examples today and show you how, in the midst of everything, you can still stop, you can still have a micro break, you can still have a purposeful pause. So let's get into it. I want to give you some real examples today, and I want to start with. We could call it the bad news, if that's what you want to call it.
Speaker 1:Friend, we're not going to escape this chaos. Whatever the chaos is around you, you can name it, friend, name it. We're not going to escape this chaos. We're going to have to walk through this and it won't last forever, and I truly believe. I know it. I'm holding on to hope and I'm holding on to joy that trouble don't last always and everything eventually is going to be all right. But while we are in the midst of chaos, I want you to know that you've got to learn how to live and thrive even in the midst of it.
Speaker 1:You cannot wait until it's over, and everybody's chaos is a little bit different. Your chaos may be different demands at work, changing pressures at work, or changing expectations, or having to prove that you do your work. Your chaos may be the sickness of a child or a spouse, and now you are a caregiver on top of everything else. Your chaos may be your own diagnosis and something that you did not expect. Your chaos may be that you're trying to complete a degree on top of working, on top of taking care of family, on top of having friends. Your chaos may be you're taking care of aging parents and we don't have that conversation enough, I know. For me I don't feel like I had that conversation enough of when your children have moved on, but you still kind of take care of them. And also now your parents are in a stage of life where they need you more.
Speaker 1:There's a whole lot of chaos going on. Maybe you have lost a job, or there are threats that you may be losing your jobs, or freezes or cuts. Friend, this is not a chaos that we're just going to escape. You can go to a different job and still be in chaos. You can move to a different city and still be in chaos. So the answer right now is not escape. We have to build a muscle, we have to build strategy, we have to have tools for how to walk through the chaos, and that is what I want to talk to you about today, pbj.
Speaker 1:I can't stop. I don't have time to stop. If I stop, all of this falls apart. We're short-staffed. I don't have anybody that can take my place at work. I don't have support at home or at work to stop.
Speaker 1:Friends, if any of these thoughts come to mind when you think about taking a break, you are the person who needs to stop the most. I want to offer you our stop plan Simple. I want you to use the same strategies and wisdom and skills that you use at work and I'm going to guide you to using those strategies to plan micro breaks. I'm not talking about a month's sabbatical, but can you incorporate micro breaks into your life as a regular rhythm of rest so that while you are serving, while you are giving, you can have moments of revival, so that you can live the life you're living sustainably? Friend, you need to grab this stop plan. Make sure to click the link in the show notes or wherever you're watching or listening to this, so that you can get what you need right now. It can't wait. I know you do a wonderful job, but people don't know what it costs you to be you, and you know what the cost has been. It's time to stop. Grab the plan today.
Speaker 1:And let me say this as well this is not about your ability, because you can say PBJ, I can do it and I believe you. I know you can. The question is not if you can do it. The question is what is not if you can do it. The question is what is it costing you to do it? So many professional women that I speak to because you have the ability, because you are intelligent, because you are strong, because you've been through trouble before because you know how to navigate it. You think that you can continue to take on the weight that you take on, just because you can, and I'm here to tell you. I know you can. Yes, I believe you. You're right. But the question is not can you? The question is what are you willing to pay? Because you do have the ability, but it is costing you to serve the way that you serve.
Speaker 1:So this is not about throwing away all of your responsibilities. There are some things that you probably need to trim, and that's just the reality. You can have it all, but you can't have it all at the same time. There are some things that you probably need to trim, but even after trimming, your hands will still be full because you are that person, you are that girl, you are that woman, you are that person. You will always have your hands full. That's who you are. So I want you to consider how you're carrying the weight. How are you carrying the load of your life and your responsibilities? You have to change the way you are carrying the weight.
Speaker 1:If you've been in a workshop with me or you've seen me post on social media when I do, this example of carrying our baggage and all of the bags represent a different responsibility in our lives and how we're walking around with all this weight all the time and how it's wearing us out and tearing us up and causing us to be in the throes of burnout. It's not about throwing away the baggage, but it is about choosing the priority of the moment, putting everything else down, picking up the priority, focusing on that priority. Then, when it's time to switch, you switch priorities and you don't feel guilty about it. And rest is when you put all of the baggage down, to pause, to take a mini break, not exchange a heavy bag for a lighter bag. We talked about task switching, but real rest is when you lay all your burdens down for a moment just to allow your body, your brain, your mind, your nervous system to recover. So let's talk about how to adjust our rhythm, how to reset our rhythm when we're in the midst of it and everything is happening. I want to give you a few examples just to show you and these examples may not be yours, but just a few examples in real life of what this might look like.
Speaker 1:I thought about when I was completing my doctoral degree and writing my dissertation, and I've shared with you before how sometimes that was staying up all night, because that was the time that worked for me, right? So I'm not suggesting that anybody else do that worked for me, right? So I'm not suggesting that anybody else do that, but that's what worked for me big chunks of time where I could write, because I was dedicating big chunks of time to writing, because I had a full-time demanding job, because I had a family to take care of. There was not a whole lot of other things in my life during that season. There wasn't a lot of hanging out, going out, showing up at this place, eating out, going shopping all of that at that time because my capacity, the capacity was limited because of the big project, because of the season that I was in. So I want you to think about what is your capacity right now, how is your capacity being used and what do you have to set aside in order to incorporate the things that really matter?
Speaker 1:There's this idea, this theory about putting the big rocks in first. I don't know who to attribute this to, but I've heard it over and over about. When you're trying to manage your time. I want you to think about having a jar and you've got some big rocks and then you've got some little pebbles, and the big rocks are the bigger projects, the bigger priorities, and then the little pebbles are the other things that you're called to drawn to pulled to right. And the theory is that you're called to drawn to pulled to right and the theory is that you put your big rocks in the jar first, because if you fill the jar with the little pebbles, your big rocks are not going to fit in there, so you put the big rocks in first and then you fit in pebbles where you can.
Speaker 1:So if we think about putting our big rocks in first, I want you to know that rest and recovery is a big rock and it should always be a big rock. And I'm not saying that it takes up an absorbent amount of time. What I am saying is it is a priority, it is necessary, it is critical, it is vital for you to prioritize rest. So resetting your rhythm looks like in the midst of this busy time, in the midst of trying to complete this degree, how am I going to fit in? I'm not going to try to put rest in. After all, the little pebbles are already in.
Speaker 1:No, if you are a full time student, I got this work that I'm doing, I got this family that I'm doing and I got this job that I'm doing and I got rest and everything else. If it fits can fit around that, but if it doesn't fit, it's not happening right now. So there are a lot of things when you are, when you're pursuing a further education, when you are working on a big project at work, maybe you're doing research. If you're a faculty member, maybe you are going after a grant. There are a lot of little pebbles Doesn't mean you don't care about those pebbles, but there are a lot of little pebbles that you have to set aside because there's just no room for them in this season.
Speaker 1:As I continue to think through this, I thought about having busy times at work, right? So you all know that my background is in higher education, specifically student affairs, and it's always busy in student affairs, right, it's always busy, but there are significantly busy times, right? So August move-in start of school is a significantly busy time. Spring move-in all of our move-outs commencement time, specifically in housing. There are times where you're interviewing the RAs for next year and you're taking applications for students who want to live on campus and you're interviewing people to add to your team professional people and you've got all these deadlines and programs and things happening.
Speaker 1:When you're in the midst of all of that, what does resetting the rhythm look like, pbj? Well, resetting the rhythm looks like embracing progress over perfection and understanding that everything is not going to be top-notch. Hit, hit it out the park. And I'm not saying do a half job at work. I'm saying be realistic and you need to let some things go. Maybe that program didn't. It wasn't executed to the level that you would like. Maybe, um, the the way that you're engaging with friends right now is not what you desire. You're going to have to accept progress over perfection.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of when I was writing my book and as I began the writing, I had such a hard time writing because I was trying to edit it as I was writing. I wanted it to be perfect first time on the page and it stopped me in my tracks. My thoughts could not be clear, they could not flow because I was trying to perfect it as I was writing it. But as soon as I embraced progress over perfection and I just wrote I mean foolishness, just whatever, whatever. And I just wrote. I mean foolishness, just whatever. Whatever came out just wrote. I didn't think about editing, I didn't think about grammar, I didn't think about voice, I didn't think about none of that. I just got it out of me and before I knew it I had 12 chapters of a book and that gave me the opportunity. Now I can go back and read it for editing. Now I can share it out with some beta readers so that they can give me some feedback and I can edit some more. Then I read it again, edit some more. Then I work with a professional editor.
Speaker 1:By the time you all got it, it had been edited several rounds. I had read it. I can't even tell you the number of times I read that book. I was so sick of it by the time I gave it to y'all and I love it, but I was sick of it. I was sick of reading it because we had edited it so many times and y'all even when you got it.
Speaker 1:It's not perfect. Even when I'm reading it now, I'm like dang, I missed that word right there, or I missed that punctuation right there. But I tell you it's changing lives. I know it is because you're telling me it is and it didn't have to be perfect to do that when I stand before an organization or a group of people to share. My presentations aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm stumbling over my words, sometimes I forget to say something significant. It's not perfect, but it never fails for somebody to come up to me in tears and say this changed my life. I've had people come back and say this saved my life today, and that's no credit to me. That's all God. But I want you to know it's in my imperfection that is happening. It's not in me trying to cross all the t's and dot all the I's, but it's in me being willing, being willing to just show up and do my best. So sometimes you got to give yourself the grace to show up and do your best.
Speaker 1:And in the midst of the crazy, you've got to find moments to stop, know when your body, when your nervous system, is telling you you're overwhelmed. I call them tails. What are your tails? The headache, the muscle tensions, the system issues, the digestive issues, the inability to sleep, the all I want to do is sleep. The crying or the need to cry, but you can't let it out. These are all tails. Recognize the heart beating fast. Recognize when your body is saying oh, we are overwhelmed right now and stop. Stop for five minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, half a day, whatever you can do, but stop. The only thing you can do to interrupt, to disrupt that level of overwhelm is to stop. That is the answer and you have got to embrace the stop, especially, not just even in, especially in the chaos. You got to stop, you got to stop. I'll give you one more example and then I'm going to let you go.
Speaker 1:I have a very good friend who received a devastating diagnosis the day after Christmas. This person went from living their life to life interrupted, life disrupted, and they are walking through treatment right now. Life disrupted and they are walking through treatment right now. And what I am learning from my friend, as they are walking through this, is you have to get to a point where you accept the season you are in. The longer you fight it, the longer you grieve over it, and I believe the grieving is necessary. I do, I do. I believe the grieving is necessary, but I do believe you can grieve too long and you can remain in grief and it will add to the weight of your season. It will add to the weight of your season, but the sooner you accept. Oh yeah, it's crazy right now and it's going to be crazy for a minute.
Speaker 1:So I need to adjust my life like I'm living through a crazy season. I can no longer pretend that things are normal. Whatever normal is today, I cannot pretend that things are normal anymore. I have to accept that I'm living in the midst of a crazy time and because I'm living in the midst of a crazy time, I have to adjust my rhythm. I have to adjust the way that I'm approaching life. My friend is a mom, my friend is a wife, my friend is a minister, my friend is a wife, my friend is a minister, my friend is a business owner, my friend is normally physically active and all of those things have had to adjust because of this new season that they are in and I have watched how they have walked through the anger and the frustration and the overwhelm and the grief and now walking into a season of acceptance and adjustment where they were preparing for a marathon. Now walking two laps is a win and they get up and they do it as many days as they can and on the days that they can't, they release it and say it's not happening. Today we're going to all the children's events, the dance competitions and the baseball games and the football games and all the things was regular life. Now this person is allowing their community to support them and they go when they can and when they can't, they honor their body.
Speaker 1:Friend, I don't know what season you're in, I don't know what your chaos is, but you're going to have to accept the fact that you're in chaos, that you're walking through change, that the pressure is heavy right now, that your load is heavy right now and you've got to adjust your life to honor the season you are in. There is no award or badge for powering through. There is no pat on the back for pushing beyond what you can do. We're not doing that anymore. We're not in a season where we can. If we don't choose, our bodies choose. For us, overwhelm is the whisper, burnout is the demand. You will stop and it will be in a way and in a time that is not convenient for you and not the way you want. Honor the season you are in. Reset your rhythm, incorporate rest as a priority.
Speaker 1:Trim everything that is not needed, friend. I'm talking conversations that are not helpful, friendships that don't help you grow, media that's causing you anxiety. I'm talking about fear that is tormenting you. I'm talking about reading anything that is not helpful and nourishing to you. Trim everything that is not helpful. Trim everything that is holding you back, that is holding you down, that is costing you more than it's worth. Trim it.
Speaker 1:This is not the season to hold on to foolishness. Let it go. Let it go. Find the place where you can dig your heels in and you can stand and sustain through the chaos. And that's not going to happen without a regular rhythm of rest. That's not going to happen with you carrying the weight of perfection. It's only going to happen by you resetting your rhythm, listening to your body, honoring your nervous system and doing the things that are assigned to your hands right now, and releasing everything else, because that's where we are, that's where we are All right, friend, that's what I have for you. I could not avoid giving you this message today, so I hope you got what you needed, as always. As always, you are powerful, you are significant, you are brilliant and you are loved. There's nobody else like you. You are specifically and uniquely created and there's no replacement for you. We need you, so I need you to protect yourself. All right, I'll see you next time. Bye, bye.
