Disrupting Burnout
Disrupting Burnout with Dr. Patrice Buckner Jackson is dedicated to overworked, undervalued high-achieving servant leaders who give all to serve others and leave very little for yourself. You are an accomplished woman with many responsibilities and you often find yourself overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out. I’ve been there. As a matter of fact, burnout almost cost me everything. Compassionate work can carry a high price tag: your mind, body, spirit and relationships may be in distress as you serve the needs of others. I am here to equip your hands and refresh your heart so you can serve in purpose and fulfillment and permanently break cycles of burnout.
Disrupting Burnout
144. Carrying the Weight: Leading Through Tragedy Without Losing Yourself
Some days in education leave scars on our hearts that never fully heal. On the tenth anniversary of a tragic accident that claimed the lives of five nursing students, I'm taking you behind the scenes of crisis leadership on a college campus.
When I was serving as Dean of Students at Georgia Southern University, I couldn't have known that an urgent summons from our police chief would plunge me into one of the most challenging experiences of my career. From the frantic moments of identifying victims to the heart-wrenching task of notifying families and supporting a grieving campus community, this episode offers an intimate look at the realities of campus crisis management.
Beyond sharing memories of our five nursing students - Caitlyn, Morgan, Emily, Abbie, and McKay - I'm opening up about what I wish someone had told me about caring for myself while caring for others. Crisis leadership exacts a toll that many administrators silently bear, often at great personal cost. Drawing from my experience across multiple campus tragedies, I share critical wisdom about establishing your foundation before crisis hits, knowing when to take essential breaks during the chaos, building trustworthy teams that can withstand pressure, and why seeking professional help afterward isn't optional.
Whether you're an administrator, counselor, teacher or leader who has faced tragedy or wants to be prepared when it comes, this conversation offers both practical guidance and permission to acknowledge your own humanity. Crisis may be part of our work in education, but it doesn't have to cost us our wellbeing.
Have you supported others through crisis? I'd love to hear what helped you navigate those difficult waters. Share your experience or reach out for support - we're stronger when we acknowledge that even the helpers need healing.
Upgrade to Premium Membership to access the Disrupting Burnout audiobook and other bonus content: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1213895/supporters/new
Good thing I had to drive across campus and that gave me a few minutes for me to pray, like that gave me a few minutes. Lord, I don't know what I'm walking into, I don't know what's going on, but you know and I trust you Y'all work with me today. Okay, hey friend, I am Dr Patrice Buckner-Jackson, but you can call me PBJ. Hey friend, I am Dr Patrice Buckner-Jackson, but you can call me PBJ. Welcome to another episode of Disrupting Burnout, where we are giving educators the strategies for pouring out purpose without burning out. Friend, I got to tell you today's episode is going to be a little bit different. So, before I even get started, I want to encourage you to take care of your heart, decide when and if you want to hear this episode, have this conversation with me. Today. I need to talk about the crisis managers, the leaders that are faced with crisis and tragedy on our campuses, at our schools, and the things that I've learned as a crisis manager that you need to do for yourself. So I want to encourage you, especially if you were my colleague or my student at Georgia Southern University, if you have faced or dealt with a tragedy recently or any time in your life I'm thinking of my colleagues and the students at Florida State University and the recent shooting on their campus and two lives lost and people recovering and I can't even name them all which is a tragedy in itself. So I want you to take care of your heart, take care of yourself, but I feel compelled to share and I appreciate having this space with you that I can share not just my knowledge, not just my research, but where I can share my heart. So let's get into it. Today is April 22nd 2025. Today is April 22nd 2025. And I tell you the date because today marks 10 years since the most. I want to be careful how I say this, because let me just tell you what happened and then I'll come back and share why I had to take that pause. If you're wondering, sorry. If you're watching, you're like PBJ, where are you Sorry? So I'm in Las Vegas, nevada, today. I am giving a keynote in a few hours to the National WIC Association Women, infants and Children, and it's an honor to serve them. But I wanted to come and share with you first, so that I can be free to share with them later what I need to tell them. So I'm in, I'm in my hotel room. So welcome, welcome on the road with me.
Speaker 1:So 10 years ago today I was serving as Dean of Students at a university I've already said Georgia Southern University. So I was serving as the dean of students at Georgia Southern University and on this particular day I was responsible for meeting with liaison between the students and the university administration to try and serve them. So I had blocked my whole calendar. I scheduled the meeting. I scheduled the meeting for away from the office suite so hopefully we would not have any distractions and these students would know that I was there to truly hear them and be there with them. We were not far into that meeting maybe just a few minutes, literally just a few minutes when there was a knock on the door of the conference room where we were meeting and outside that door it was a clear door so I could see I could Ms Kim from my office, my executive assistant. So I knew it had to be something critical, because everybody knew this is where I was going to be today. When I stepped outside, ms Kim said Chief says she needs to see you right now. And I said do you have any idea what it is? She said I don't know, but she said she needs you right now. Well, my chief of police didn't play around like that. If she said she needed me right now, I knew it was right now.
Speaker 1:So I went back in that room, apologized to the students. Can you imagine how they felt? What they felt? I couldn't tell them why, because I didn't know why, but I knew I had to go. So there's still some guilt every now and then of that moment where I walked away from them to go to something else. That's a part of this right. We're always, always having to choose the priority of the moment, and it doesn't mean that everything else is not important, but it means that you have to discern what is the priority of this moment. Where do I need to give my energy? Right? So I had to detach myself from what was going on in that room with those students and I had to transition. So a good thing.
Speaker 1:I had to drive across campus and that gave me a few minutes for me to pray, like that gave me a few minutes, lord. I don't know what I'm walking into. I don't know what's going on, but you know and I trust you university police department and I was ushered into a back conference room and when I walked into that conference room it was a wall to wall police officials, so I knew it was pretty bad, but I didn't know what it was. I saw our chief of police. I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful to her. Laura, I don't know if you listen to these, but I love you and I'm grateful for you.
Speaker 1:But she was busy. She was engaged with other folks, so I just came in and I sat down and waited until she could come over and waited until she could come over. When she came over, she gave me a list of names and she said I just need you to try to find out if these people were in class today. I knew it was not time to ask any questions, so I opened up my laptop, pulled up our student information system, went to work, pulling schedules, finding professors, finding their phone numbers, doing all the things, trying to call people, get information, all the things. And if you are an administrator, you know how tough it is. You call a faculty member yes, I'm calling to see if so-and-so was in your class today. Well, who are you and why do you need to know and friend all the things right. So I did the best that I could to get information.
Speaker 1:At some point we moved the whole operation over to our College of Nursing because that little room was just not enough space for us to do what we needed to do. We went from crafting a message with our communication folks trying to figure out how in the world are we going to tell our campus community what happened, to identifying folks, identifying the five nursing students that died that day in a tragic accident and the two who were critically injured and the two who were critically injured. And I want to say this Every year we pause to remember our five nurses. There are memorials in the space where they died. It was all over the news. Our whole community, not just our campus community, but our whole community and adjacent communities were impacted.
Speaker 1:And there are two women who survived and that's important. There are two women who left their apartments that morning with their friends, headed to that last day of nursing. Clinicals did not make it to that last day and when they woke up five of their friends were gone and their life was changed forever. So I want to pause and honor those two women. I won't say their names, I want them. It is not my place to do that, but I just want them to know that somebody's thinking of them too. And as we honor the lives of the women who passed away, we also honor the life that they still live.
Speaker 1:I had the honor of reconnecting with one of those women. Just randomly. I walked into a meeting to speak and sat down beside her, not even recognizing who she was. She helped me to recognize her and I've been able to connect with her and talk to her and walk with her, and I'm grateful. So I just want to pause in this. And while we are honoring the lives of our five nurses who we lost that day, I want to also honor the two who lived and continue to live and had to live through that tragedy. So we work to put a message together to share with our community.
Speaker 1:We at some point had to notify parents. That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. We left that space to go into an auditorium full of nursing students and faculty to, for the first time, read the names of the women who died that day and the two women who were fighting for their lives. We left that space and we went to Greek Row and each of those five women who passed away were connected to a different sorority. So we went from house to house just sitting with them. House to house, just sitting with them, confirming yes is true, and just being there with them. I remember my friend, our director of counseling, jodi I love you walking with me. She held my hands while I read those names for the first time and she visited each one of those houses with me. I remember my friend, vince Miller, who was working in our vice president's office. He's a vice president now, walking Greek. Roll with us.
Speaker 1:In the coming days we planned a memorial, held that memorial, we met with parents and friends and loved ones and sorority sisters. And this kind of tragedy continues after the news cameras are gone, after the newspapers are no longer taking pictures. I had a good colleague who had been at Virginia Tech on the day of their tragedy and that colleague came to me and said Patrice, you're going to have to figure out what to do with the stuff. And I was so confused Stuff, what do you mean? You got to figure out what to do with the stuff. Friends, people sent angels, they sent cards, they wanted to do.
Speaker 1:Everybody felt the need to do something. I'm talking all over the world, not just in our little town, but all over the world. Everybody felt the need to do something, so they sent stuffed, animals and things that they made with their own hands and all kinds. I mean, I can't even we had to figure out. You know, ask the families do you want these things? Can we give them to you? If you don't want them, how do we honor them?
Speaker 1:It was. This is something. We're 10 years out. We're 10 years out and the impact is still very real. The impact is still very real, as you can imagine, and when I started this story, there was a pause, and the reason for the pause is because these five nursing students were not the first students that I lost and they were not the last, and every year, as this anniversary comes around, I also think about the other mamas and the other daddies and the other siblings that have lost students that were on campuses where I was serving, that were connected to me in any way, and I want you all to know that I don't forget your babies either.
Speaker 1:I know that this tragedy, because of its impact, got a lot of attention, continues to get attention, and I'm not saying that it shouldn't, but I want those other folks who I know throughout the years, who have lost their students, who have lost their loved ones connected to a school or a college campus. We remember your family member too. We remember your person too and we honor them. Nothing can prepare you for this. Let me just speak to the crisis manager, to the leader, to the administrator, to the principal, to the AP, to the guidance counselor, to the therapist on a campus, to the dean of students, to the vice president of student affairs, to the superintendent, to the faculty member. Nothing can prepare you for this. You for this, Not for not a class, not a graduate class, not a textbook. But there are a few things that I want you to consider. There are a few things that I want you to consider, and this is from my personal experience.
Speaker 1:I was so focused during the tragedy of serving right. These were not my children, even though deeply, I felt deeply connected to all of them in their death and in their suffering through this. They're not my children, right. I was not their sibling, I was not their partner, I was not their best friend or their roommate. So I was very, very focused on the people who were directly impacted by their passing, by this tragedy. What I didn't realize at the time is the impact on my heart. And even as I'm talking to you now, when I tell this story you know this is the opening chapter of my book and even as I was writing it, I felt like, should I be telling the story? I know this is not just my story. Should I be telling this story? But, friend, it's important for you to recognize that it's your story too. Your perspective is different. You're not grieving your child, you're not grieving your loved one, your family member, but you are grieving. You are grieving. So it is very important that, as you are walking through the tragedy, but also in the days after, because they don't end quickly People get back to their lives as they should, but you will continue to face what needs to be done to support everybody involved.
Speaker 1:When you are in the tragedy, it's the small things, like walking outside to get a breath of fresh air, drinking water. Make sure you eat something, water. Make sure you eat something. I know it seems so insignificant, but you can't allow your body to break down in the moment. You got more moments to come, maybe before you are carted off to the next place or the next thing you tell folks give me a minute, I just need a minute, I'm fine, but give me a minute, let me collect my thoughts. I'll go back before the tragedy.
Speaker 1:If it wasn't for my faith, I don't know that I would have been able to do it. And what I'm saying is you need a foundation before the day of the tragedy. You need something bigger than you that you can lean on. There are going to be a lot of people leaning on you. You need a foundation, you need a rock, you need something unwavering that you can stand on, that you can go to, that you can lean on and it doesn't have to be fancy or deep. That little prayer, lord I don't know what I'm walking into, but you know and I trust you, that little prayer carried me. It carried me and it continues, and it wasn't just that day.
Speaker 1:So having a stronghold on my faith was the foundation of what who got me through. What is your foundation? What can you stand on? Lean on hold on to when everything is happening, when you are the leader, when you are the crisis manager, folks will be depending on you. You don't have an unending source or just in and of yourself. You need to be dependent on a source. So what is your rock? What is your foundation? What can you hold on to when everything is shaking? What is your foundation? What can you hold on to when everything is shaking? So my foundation of faith was everything and is everything and has been throughout all of the crisis and the tragedies that I've had to work through and support folks through. So you need your foundation of faith.
Speaker 1:Then, when you're walking through the tragedy, you need micro bricks, you need moments, you need moments. You need moments. You need moments to collect your thoughts, you need moments to breathe, you need moments to attend to your own body. You have to stop just for a minute, five minutes. You have to stop in order to think clearly, but in order to just keep going right. So you got to have those moments. And then, who's on your team? So who are the folks that you will work with, walk with, hold hands with through this, and what have you all done to build up the trust in your team?
Speaker 1:We got through that day Chief McCullough, our Director of Counseling, jody, our VP's office, our President's office, our communications folks. We got through that day as a team. Everybody did what they were supposed to do and, because it was not our first rodeo, right Like this was. We were all just wiped Like this, just it came. We didn't expect this, we didn't know this was coming, and we had worked together before in things that were more day-to-day, in other situations. So we had disagreed with each other, we had confronted each other, we had celebrated each other, we had given each other hugs, we had checked on each other. Our team was strong, we had a connection, we trusted each other and we trusted each other before the tragedy.
Speaker 1:Keep in mind, I always tell you crisis is a mirror. It is not a maker. Crisis doesn't make you a good team. It's just going to show you who you are. So the day of the crisis is not the day to try to come together as a team. You need to come together as a team before the day of the crisis. Every day, you work together. You're practicing building your trust. You're practicing working together. You're practicing this dance of what we need to do when things really come down on us. So you need your team and you need to be building trust in your team. You need to be learning how to listen to each other. Not just listen to respond, not just listen to snap back, but you need to learn how to listen, truly hear each other and work towards the best outcome that you can get to in every situation.
Speaker 1:Those day-to-day situations build you for the day of the crisis. You need your team. You need your team. So you got to have a foundation.
Speaker 1:For me, that's a foundation of faith. Without the Lord, I would not be able to do this. You got to take care of yourself in the middle of the tragedy Not just this tragedy. I think about hurricanes that I've been through concerning my students, other student death situations. You've got to take a moment just to breathe or your brain cannot help you get through that day. You need your team. It's not just you, even if you're the person gifted for the crisis, right, so I've shared with you all. I have brilliance in crisis. I just know what to do next and my heart, my mind, just aligns and I'm just. It flows freely from me and I know that there are pieces that I can't do and they don't belong to me. It's not mine, and that's when I lean on my team.
Speaker 1:None of us do this well alone. None of us. You're not here to be the hero. You're not here to wear a cape. You're not here even to get accolades. You're not here for the thank yous or the pats on the back. You are here to get your community through this, and you cannot do that by yourself. You need your people. You need your people Beyond needing your team. This is what I should have done. I should have gone to counseling. I should have gone to therapy. I should have gone to therapy.
Speaker 1:After this tragedy, after any one of the tragedies that I walked through, I should have gone to counseling. I should have gone to therapy, because trauma continues to impact the way you show up, the way you behave, the way you work, and I did not see it as my trauma. I saw my role as helping everybody else. But now I'm wise enough to know and understand how, not just this day August 22nd in 2015, not just this day, but all of the traumas that I have walked with students and with their families and my community through, all of those have connected themselves to me and I remember them. I remember faces, I remember conversations, I remember moments. I remember all of them, and it is irresponsible of me to think that it does not have an impact on my heart. I should have gone to counseling. Y'all know I'm a strong believer in therapy. Now, baby, like I'm in therapy and will be. You know, according to what I need in the moment, I should have went, I should have went. Then I should have went. Then. I didn't know, I didn't know the impact that it was having on me until it all compounded in August 2019 in a burnout incident.
Speaker 1:Take care of your heart. You need support too. So who do you go to? Who do you talk to? I know you have good friends. I know you've got good family members, and that's healthy, that's good. But I want you to consider if you've been through major tragedy whether it was your tragedy or somebody else's tragedy that you supported them through you need to talk to somebody about that, somebody who's trained and equipped to help you walk through it in your mind and your heart and settle with that thing.
Speaker 1:You've seen a lot. You've heard a lot. You've had to hug mamas as they cry. You've had to reassure teachers, professors and staff when your own heart was fearful. You've had to stand and represent your school at funerals and at gravesides. You've had to face the media and answer hard questions. You've been through a lot and I want you to recognize the cost of your service, not to give up, not to quit, but you do need to heal. You do need to heal. So thank you for allowing me to honor. Thank you for allowing me to honor our five nursing students Kaitlyn Baggett, morgan Bass, emily Clark, abby Deloach and McKay Pittman. We will never forget you, and to the two women who lived through this tragedy and continue to live, we pray for you and we don't forget you either. Alright, friend, that's all I got for you. Thank you for making space for me this day. As always, you are powerful, you are significant, you are brilliant and you are loved. Love always, pbj.
