The Gaming Persona

Me or the PS5: Gaming, Relationships, and the Quest for Harmony

• Daniel Kaufmann Ph.D. | Dr. Gameology • Season 4 • Episode 2

Share episode

Send us a text

When the world of gaming collides with the delicate dance of relationships, where do you stand? That's the question Jenny Lebron and Dr. Gameology tackle as we dissect the "Me or the PS5" trend sweeping through TikTok in 2023. This episode isn't just about the memes; it's an eye-opener on how gaming fits into our lives and relationships. We'll share personal stories that resonate with anyone trying to juggle a love for gaming with the demands of a bustling life. Through the lens of Jenny's photography schedule and Doc's gaming adventures, including an intense affair with Elden Ring, we navigate the complexities of modern-day hobby balancing.

The conversation gets even richer as we discuss the fine line between a gaming passion and the responsibilities of personal relationships. Ever felt torn between your console and a holiday family gathering? I sure have, and you'll hear all about my Halloween family dilemma during some crucial academic deadlines. We don't just talk about gaming, though; we dive into the cognitive benefits of this beloved hobby and how it stands up against other pastimes. With insights on fostering understanding and compromise in our personal connections, this episode promises to leave you with a new appreciation for diversifying your sources of enjoyment and the importance of nurturing those crucial social bonds. Whether you're a hardcore gamer or the partner on the other side of the screen, join Jenny and me for a candid look at striking the perfect balance.

Support the show

If you would like to support the show and help us unlock additional possibilities for future episodes and projects, this can now be done through Patreon!

You can watch us play games LIVE and join our communities to get more connection from every episode:

Subscribe on YouTube for more content on the Psychology of Gaming or Follow on Twitch to catch the Live Streams!

For more info, check out DrGameology.com!

More Links Here!

Thanks for Listening, and Continue The Journey!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Gaming Persona Podcast. This is the show that explores who we become when we play games. I'm your host, dr Gamalogy, and I'm joined by one of my best friends from my gaming journey, jenny Lebron. All right, jenny, how are you doing this week?

Speaker 2:

I'm doing fantastic and I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, awesome. I'm glad to hear it. I've been looking forward to this conversation all week. But before we get started, where can our listeners find us?

Speaker 2:

You can find my photography page on Instagram at jlebronphotography or jlebronphotographycom, if you're curious about what a nerdy person's photos look like.

Speaker 1:

And I'm Dr Gamalogy on Twitch and other social apps. Youtube is where I'm trying to grow the most and, of course, you can find me on this show every week. The Gaming Persona is found on Apple Podcasts, spotify, google and, most importantly, youtube. Anywhere else podcasts can be found. If you're enjoying our content, be sure to leave a review on your favorite listening app, meaning YouTube, all right, so do you think I was heavy-handed enough, jenny?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think so they got it.

Speaker 1:

All right, yeah. So what are we talking about from the world of video games today?

Speaker 2:

We're going to be talking about a TikTok trend, funnily enough.

Speaker 1:

What we're going to be talking about. Trending things.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it's called Me or the PS5. So we're going to talk about what that means for the people that are asking the question and the people that are being asked the question, I think at least.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, so let's go ahead and do our ordinary world where we share everyday life through our games. And I just want to say, jenny, that although the flow of our show requires me to ask, to act surprised when you tell us what we're going to be talking about, I'm the trendy one here who came up with this topic idea, so take that world for the twist. Right, me or the PS5 is a endless supply of memes that I've been seeing on threads and other social media the last week. Have you seen any?

Speaker 2:

of these, Jenny? No, I have not. The first time I was exposed to this was about 15 minutes ago.

Speaker 1:

This is actually part of my ordinary world is. I asked the discord for the Doctor of Gameology discord yesterday if anyone else was getting bombarded by these on apps like threads or Twitter, things like that, and actually most of the people in there had no idea what I was talking about and I think, for anyone who is listening to this episode and is not sure what does this have to do with being a gamer, it has everything to do with being a gamer. It actually wraps up my entire career being a mental health clinician who is a gamer in one song. Okay so it's a trend that a lot of people are posting, and we'll explain what those posts are in a second. Jenny who sings this song. I think that's the first thing that. I need to give credit. All right, it's Alan Walker. Salem, elise and Tomorrow X Together is what I'm seeing on the internet right now. Okay, now I don't know who any of those people are, do you?

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so good, we're on the same page. Still, this song came out in 2022, so it is not new. Oh, that's delayed gratification for everyone we want. When we do something, we want it to be awesome now, immediately, and that's just not how the world works. Sometimes you put out something and you just got to wait and you're pretty sure the world doesn't care, and then boom, it just picks up momentum out of nowhere.

Speaker 2:

So TikTok will do that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, TikTok is like the juice for going viral and getting everyone with ADHD to actually contribute to statistics and I don't know what the word is too, because it's like the videos are the right length for them, Unlike the gaming persona. I think we have three years of data that indicate very easily the gaming persona is not the right length for people with ADHD.

Speaker 2:

Yes, this is true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Jenny. What have you been up to in gaming since the last time we convened to do these episodes?

Speaker 2:

I was really trying to think if I've done any gaming at all and, shocker, I haven't. I have been holed up in my editing cave. It's that time of year where I become a ghost. I know it's not Halloween anymore, but the month of October, november, early December, I just dive into editing. I have a very strict schedule that I'm following and I've been actually keeping up with it, which is not the norm for me. It's been nice to actually have planned days where I purposefully don't edit and I do fun things, and there aren't very many of those days. They're there. I can look forward to them.

Speaker 1:

Another meme that I saw this morning, which that's kind of funny. This whole episode is ultimately going to be. What memes did Doc see this week? But I saw this meme of it's the older guy with the white beard that has the really creepy smile and the dead eyes. I didn't want a nine to five job. Now I just work 24 seven.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

The meme is actually about work from home, so the algorithm has paged me and knows what I'm looking for, because that's definitely what I'm feeling. That's the message that I'm at odds with all the time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Definitely I enjoy the perks of being an entrepreneur, but it really did go from like having a work day where all my work was confined to, and then to like working all the time. There is never an end ever when yourself employed. But that's fine. Good with the bad.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I've been playing a lot of different games. I have variety going on right now is I played Elden Ring on stream to get some footage to put out some videos. I've put out two videos on YouTube about different things with Elden Ring. The first one actually really took off and got some views for the first 96 hours of its existence and is the most viewed thing. That's not as short in my YouTube channel history and that video ties directly into the hero's journey and my chapter in the psychology of Elden Ring. So I'm very proud of it. And another cool thing for me making these videos I think I have eight of them now is every time I do something new from a technical perspective that I didn't do in the previous videos so that I can keep getting better using the DaVinci Resolve and understanding what I'm capable of with different things in the edit, and I'm feeling really good about my use of the program now. I played Elden Ring. For that I've started over Final Fantasy 14 with a new character at level 1 in Wolda, did a second stream of that and picked up the gladiator class and the Pugelist class. So now I have three classes. I can skip around to level those up and play, and I'm picking up all the missions. I'm in no hurry to get anywhere in the game. The whole point is for me to play the game as deeply as I can so that someday I can write a psychology of a yorzea book, maybe, or something that big. Yeah, and in Dead by Daylight. Today, chuckie was released as the newest killer. Fun, that's super fun. I did one match today. It was right before I jumped on here with you. Chuckie killed me in Silent Hill.

Speaker 2:

No, thank you.

Speaker 1:

That is a video game horror fan wet dream right there, amazing experience. I did. Okay, I was the third one to go down. I'm still having a lot of fun with Dead by Daylight. So Final Fantasy 14, elden Ring, dead by Daylight. And I'm still playing Baldur's Gate 3, but not on stream. So, lots of fun stuff, lots of fantasy and lots of horror. And then Elden Ring is kind of like horror fantasy, depending on how badly I'm playing. So, that's my ordinary world. You ready to go to our next part of the conversation? I am All right. Let's start the Call to Adventure, where we get into our topic for the week. All right, so me or the PS5. I really, if copyright wasn't a thing, I know, I know this is super risky, but if anyone doesn't know what we're talking about, this is how much trust I have for our audience. I'm not gonna commit copyright crimes on our show so you can just pause it here.

Speaker 2:

Go listen.

Speaker 1:

Go listen Especially. Either find the one that is the music video or find the one that has the lyrics on the video. Right, that's gonna give you the best experience. Come back and then we're gonna do the Gaming Persona review of what I'm hearing, what Jenny's hearing, what we're hearing, with mental health and gaming being our number one priority. We'll see you soon. Welcome back, all right, so.

Speaker 2:

Wasn't it such a good song. It really is a good song. I love the song.

Speaker 1:

And I'm gonna be honest, when I hear that song, you know how sometimes you have a hero like Ray Palpatine and like the whole way that she destroys. The ultimate evil is she just has all the spirits of all the Jedi go into her and she just becomes super powered. Okay, I have that, but with all the clients and couples and marriages that I've talked to about video games in my career, like all of them just flood my brain and I feel all of it, which is not the most pleasant feeling. Actually, those were not happy counseling sessions, yeah. So what do you think? Jenny, just looking at the lyrics, thinking about the song, you're bobbing your head a little bit, I'm sure.

Speaker 2:

It's a bop. I love the song so much I really do. It's so catchy. The lyrics are clever, obviously. There's like there's two levels to the song. There's like the fun lighthearted like come on, I'm right here. What do you need to play your video games?

Speaker 1:

for.

Speaker 2:

And then there's the underlying message that could go a little deeper, that we'll talk about, but I think it's a great song, I love it. And then I've been watching a lot of the like duos with Pete, because on TicToc there's a thing where, like, you can duo with another creator, yeah, and it's like shows side by side videos, and she'll do one verse and then they do another. And it's just so fun. People are so creative.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I like that the opening line is eyes up You've been gone for a fortnight.

Speaker 2:

Yes, the best.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Like right off the bat you can tell that this is a well thought out song that you're about to get into. So the premise of the song is of course we're in this relationship and you're playing the PS5 at time and in ways that I don't want you to. I've had enough, so you keep doing this and I'm going to be gone. So ultimatum time most healthiest thing you can do for a relationship, Like things are going well when your ultimatums are responded to right, yeah, Me or the PS5. You are the reason that I have a PS5. So this is kind of an interesting meta conversation.

Speaker 2:

I can't about that.

Speaker 1:

Although we're not dating, we're very good friends, and your brother went out a couple years ago and hunted down a PS5 for me.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

But for me this relationship is a little bit different with me and my PS5, because my wife and I play games on the PS5 together, Like in the case of she came on the show to talk about it takes two.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So that everyone who's listened to the history of our show knows a little bit about the video game DNA in my family, and we still do things video game wise as a family almost every single week. So I would be shocked if this ultimatum were thrown in my face. Have you ever been in a situation where there was a balance in the relationship and you're just like you have to stop this or we are done, even if it's not PS5 related?

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, I get it. So I've never used an ultimatum, but I've had conversations with past partner about okay, it's, the reason why I can't stand League of Legends is because of what it did to our relationship and so, on the one hand, like obviously, ultimatums are bad, I wouldn't recommend them to people. But I understand where this person is coming from, because sometimes you're in a relationship and you're doing too much of what you're doing. You're doing too much of what you love and not giving enough love and care to the person that you love.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's actually. It has to be really difficult when you're in a relationship with someone who has a passion that becomes all-consuming.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And that either is going to work because there's some sacrifice and some consideration towards that passion, or that passion will tear you apart. It's one of the most difficult things that I did in my family life is I'll never forget this evening, one of the most difficult evenings of school work that I ever had, and part of it is because I did not work hard on a paper days earlier and work happened the way it happened. This was around 10 years ago. So I'm in my doc program, I have a seven-page paper and it's not a hard paper and that's why I was like I'll just do this after work on Tuesday or whatever, except Tuesday is Halloween and it's time to take my son Trick or Treating and, because of work, tuesday night's the only time that I could do it, unless I do it extremely late at night. So I had not go Trick or Treating that year and I typed the paper once, but this was before I had cloud storage. I hit the red X, closed it and I had never hit save on the paper. So I typed that seven-page paper twice that night.

Speaker 2:

No, the worst.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I would never not turn in a paper on time in my doc program. So I just did the whole paper twice. I was thinking of different ways to say that and I censored all of them.

Speaker 2:

So that's I saw it happen At the real time.

Speaker 1:

That's what that pause was In that situation, it's like it's me, or the PhD program could have been the song not nearly as trendy. I think about people that I've known in my life that have amazing passions like that, where it's like I need time to do this, otherwise I'm a lesser version of myself, and so I'm thinking about guitar, and I'm thinking about different forms of art, and I'm thinking dance, or I'm thinking about just all the different things where you have to put yourself in a room, in a performance room, and you have to just that's the thing that you do for hours and hours of your existence.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, even we were just talking about being an entrepreneur and self-employed. There have been periods in time of my life where I'm like shooting 50 weddings a year and all of my time is spent editing or shooting or traveling, and I missed every birthday, every single get together. I didn't see my friends for months at a time. I didn't see my partner for months at a times and times, and it's like I didn't have to do that. There were other ways that I could have structured my time and that's why now, the way that my business is structured, I have those days, like I was talking about, where I don't have to edit this day and I can focus on my partner or focus on my friends that I haven't seen in a couple weeks.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that level of awareness is. You're showing us, jenny, with your example, that you're willing to think about other people and that you're looking at editing photos like it's work, because it is. You have to basically clock in and do it for hours and hours until it's done, and if you don't do that, your job does not get done and you have no job. Right, it's very bad if you don't do that, but that's how adult life is structured in our society is you can. If something is work, you can do it with as much time as you need, no questions at. If it's fun for you but it's not work, then we start to judge and nitpick. For example, when I'm in all my AP classes and dual enrollment classes in high school, there's an infinite number of minutes at home where I can work on homework, including not going to bed on time. I can do homework until two in the morning, but if I stay up till 11 watching Monday Night Raw, oh no.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, definitely. I've also been on the receiving end of in a relationship where there was a period of time where someone was spending way too much time in the game world and not enough time in our world.

Speaker 1:

You mean League of Legends, did not make you go, lol.

Speaker 2:

No, not at all.

Speaker 1:

But I just did yes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and that's why we're friends. But no, I've actually had friends come to me who are not in a. I would consider myself a gamer. I play video games, I play board games. I'm immersed in that world. I haven't very much lately.

Speaker 1:

You should back that up before Tuesday night, Denny. Oh, I know.

Speaker 2:

But, yeah, it's not something that, like, I would never do an ultimatum about. I would never make my partner choose PS5 or me. Like, I see it as a valuable thing. They're socializing, they're having fun, they're doing what they want to do for the most part. But I have friends who are not in that world, do not understand games in that way, and some have come to me for advice where they're in a relationship where their partner is the one that is playing video games all the time and they feel like they're not part of it and they don't know what to do or how to start or how to approach it. And, yeah, so it's awesome that they came to me because they're like, hey, I want this to work and I want to understand, and I know you are someone who does understand, so help me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's the interesting setup too, is that there's so many people. When you're dating someone, I imagine that you're looking for those shared interests, you're looking for compatibility, you're looking for my vision of my future. If that's the goal, if, like you're dating with the intent of having a long-standing relationship with someone, you're projecting out what your future is going to look like and seeing Does that still work with the way? I'm satisfied with this person being a part of it? And the more yeses you have on questions like that, the more likely you're going to allow the opportunity that relationship continues on. Once you start lacking compatibility, you'll probably still have it drag on and then start doing couples counseling and then terrorize people like me. But anyway, my point is that this PS5 thing came up on my social media because I just posted a list of all the games that I've gotten to present on in a professional setting, talking about the psychology of games. The list is getting really awesome. I think this is the coolest part of my career so far, and there was no reason for that conversation to become negative until someone who follows me replied and said this list is filled with amazing games and a lot of them are addictive, and started calling out different games in that list that have high addictive qualities, which is fine. I read all my comments. I replied to every one of them where it makes sense logically to reply to them, and I was just thinking a lot about that one, and then I saw about five me or the PS5 memes in a row. And I was just like oh my gosh, here it is. There's this like agenda that's trying to say video games are addictive, hence they are bad things, and here's what you should be doing with your time. And then attractive female with a selfie yes, you should be doing me with your time, right? So that's really what the song's about. You have the female verse that starts the song the chorus and then you have the male verse the chorus and then the song ends, and really the two messages are in contrast, jenny, so I want to take a break from talking. And, jenny, can you explain what the contrast is here?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so the female verse is basically, like you said, saying putting her against a PS5, and it's like eh, what, shouldn't you choose me, and if you don't, I'm going to run over your PS5.

Speaker 1:

Oh, by the way, you probably should just stop playing and choose her. That's good for the relationship, right? Right, it seems like a no-brainer.

Speaker 2:

Then in the guy's verse he is trying to tell her that. I don't know the guy's verse, I'm not as much of a fan of he's. Basically could be cheating on you and I'm just playing a video game, shouldn't you be happy? That part is like all right, so you're not awful and terrible, so I should just take your scraps? No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1:

That's so interesting, Jenny. We have such a different point of view on what this song is saying.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I thought we would. And then he goes on and says he's kind of like begging her to let him play a little bit more, and then also asking like why would you make me decide between these two things? Oh yeah, that's where I'm coming from with the second verse.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so let's go ahead and do the next segment of the show. I think that we're ready for this. We're going to do the road of trials, where we face our challenges and discover our strengths. Okay, Okay, so one of my favorite research articles to talk about in presentations is actually 10 years old now. It's Barony, Carbinell and Griffiths, and it's published in the International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, and it's talking about online gaming addiction using qualitative methodology. So they interviewed people and they created this amazing chart that takes all of the gaming disorder criteria. So these are the checkboxes that you need to have a certain number of them, in order to diagnose gaming disorder. Yeah, Okay, and again, you can't diagnose gaming disorder because we're in the United States and the American Psychiatric Association doesn't have an approved disorder that works with insurances. Oh goodness. Internationally this exists, but in America it does not. So still, we have research on it and we know what it looks like. So the idea here is that a person is playing in a way that is disrupting the quality of their life and multiple life areas and, just like other addictions thinking about things like alcohol, thinking about things that you use repeatedly and excessively to modify your mood Video games have mood modification properties. Right, A lot of people will come home. They'll turn on a game that is for lack of a better word bingeable.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Think like a Netflix show Like Dead by Daylight, is bingeable. I could play 20 matches in a row and all of those matches could be between 10 and 18 minutes and that translates into my afternoon. If that's something that I wanted, to sit down on my couch, tune out, stop solving real problems with my brain and just try to run away from check-y for five hours straight. Sounds like a terrible day to me, but very stressful, but I could do it. So we have in this chart, we have playing, we have leveling and then we have virtual friendship, which those three things sound like positive things, they sound fun, they sound encouraging to your day. There's progression and growth in the form of leveling. So awesome, right, except for it's a childish hobby that the world has decided is stupid and you shouldn't do it that much. So let's enter in all of the more important.

Speaker 2:

Read sarcastic everyone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, the more important sounding words we have, salience, which means this is the most fun activity out of all the fun activities you could list, to the point where it diminishes the fun in those other alternative fun activities. So think like playing a video game on your couch versus doing a puzzle. If doing a puzzle is like a two out of 10 and video games are like a nine or a 10 out of 10, then eventually the puzzle becomes a one out of 10 because video games are so much fun. Why would I do a puzzle? And monopoly is a negative seven out of 10? So no one should ever play monopoly. How do you feel about monopoly, jenny? It's fine. Maybe, you can hear this negative seven dripping off of Jenny's voice. Okay, so you have salience. It makes all the other fun things less fun, and I think that's actually what me or the PS5 is about is the girl in the relationship is singing the song, saying what you don't want to be with me, have fun with me, do things with me. You'd rather be on the PS5. The person playing the PS5 might be experiencing salience, meaning sure they'd like to, but you're like a three out of 10, and the matches that I'm playing online are like eight, nine or 10 out of 10. So can you just chill so I can finish these things. So we have two different things in balance here. There's how much of that fun should come from your relationship. And then, at what point in the relationship do you hit that point where it's a really good idea to have other ways to have fun? I'm thinking about I've been married for 17 years. Yes, yeah, I would say that it's really good that both me and my wife have our own hobbies and her doing me or the video game streaming would be like me saying me. Or the books she loves reading books Like why would I be like dear, you own 714 books enough's enough. You've read like 209 of them it's me or the books.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and when I make it about books instead of video games, does that do anything, jenny?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, turns it into work, or similar to how we view work, like it's okay if you spend hours reading books because it's not video games.

Speaker 1:

No, but that's her outlet for fun and imagination.

Speaker 2:

No, I know, I'm just saying the way that people view someone who plays video games for hours in the way someone views someone who reads books for hours and hours are totally different- oh, I see what you're saying.

Speaker 1:

So reading is a more valuable cognitive skill than virtual escape rooms that are linked repeatedly when you're dressed like Link.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I want to talk about this chart a few different ways. Eventually, you do end up with a conflict when you prioritize video games to the point where other things don't have value anymore, and that is not a good thing. Okay, so if you're listening to this conversation and you love video games and you think, wow, dr Gamology is awesome, he's on my side, he's helping me learn how to argue against people who say me or the PS5. Look, I am not doing that because, as a game player, that is your hobby and you should know just by reading the room and practicing noticing this. You have to learn when the right time to play and when the wrong time to play is Okay. You have to know these matches can take 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, whatever you're queuing up for. I only have 10 minutes. This is not the right time to be in queue.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I'm not even going to know, you can always ask or listen.

Speaker 1:

That's right. Yes, ask for feedback and then, when you get feedback, learn how to use that as part of your decision making in the future. People if they're important to you, you interact with them and you let them know, and then you turn around 10 years later and they're still in your life. If you don't do that, they're gone, and that's why people, I think, are more important than a game. You control when that game is on and when it's off, and you don't really control how much leeway people are going to give you for you to figure out how to connect with them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

On the same. Let's talk about the guys' verse really quick.

Speaker 2:

Jenny Okay.

Speaker 1:

So I just let all the gamers that are listening to what I it sounded like I might be saying I just let them have it, because, listen, everyone who thinks that you pick the PS5. Yeah, yeah, pick the PS5. But you have to do your best to make me look good here while I have your back and I'm defending you. Here's why you should pick the PS5 in this song Because if you're with a person who's the right match for you, they would never want to take away a thing that you do for fun. There can be such a amazing playground for your mind to work through things that are important to work through, whether it's de-stressing from a tough day or whether it's having an actual struggle where you're trying. Okay, I don't necessarily feel in my jobs that I get paid for Like I have to try very hard. Elden Ring is the hardest thing. I did last week by far Okay, and even if I didn't play Elden Ring Dead by Daylight would be the hardest thing that I did that day. Even Final Fantasy 14 has a sense of psychological flow to it that I don't necessarily feel in my work life, unless it's the part of my work life where I'm creating something. But if it's mundane or if it's a piece of feedback that I've given 3,000 other students in my, then I'm just repeating something that doesn't have psychological flow, right. So video games are a fun outlet and that's why we have this show and why I spend so much time talking about them is that I just wish people could see and understand what I see in this chart is that you can see this chart and weird modification. That's a good thing, but if it's the only thing that makes your mood improve, that is a bad thing. Not branch out and find other things Social relationships that's a good thing. I have a RAID team. I can play this game with them. We have teamwork, we have strategy that's a good thing. But if they're the only people that I know how to talk to, that's not a good thing. I need to branch out and find people to talk to so that I have a complete life in all my life areas.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, jenny, what do you think about this whole branching out?

Speaker 2:

No, I agree with your take on the guy's perspective in this song. I don't think it's healthy to tell somebody you either stopped playing video games, you stopped doing the thing that helps you socialize with your friends and de-stress and all of that, or you hang out with me. I think it can be a conversation. I think it's important to communicate your needs and how you're feeling about something, and it should be a conversation. But I definitely don't think it should be one or the other kind of thing.

Speaker 1:

I think there's so much opportunity too in what you said to actually make this work that's before the mere the PS5 conversation by years and years or months and months or weeks or weeks. It just depends what the psychology of the person is. The whole spend time with me. There's so many different things that could mean, and if you're in a relationship that you're committed to, you should want to do all those different things, whether it's exercise or going for a walk, doing some kind of show or doing some kind of house activity together that needs to be done. You should want to do those things. This song is at a point where it's either deep in the relationship and it's been going bad for a long time, or this is not a good relationship and this is one of the signs of it. If you are a game player and you love video games and this is a primary, it's a passion, it's a primary coping skill, it's a positive element of your day there are relationships that don't work all the time because the two people do not have the same religious perspectives, they don't have the same political party beliefs, they don't feel the same way about smoking or not smoking. If you're the kind of person that just has this pathological urge to drive over a PS5 with your car. You probably shouldn't be dating a person who loves playing video games.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, they're just not compatible.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's fine.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's what Jenny said. Hear that. All right, I guess we'll do the ascent and elevate the topic, although I think I already did that. You really shouldn't expect your relationships to work when people despise your primary hobby. At the core of this entire discussion is communication and trust and goodwill towards your romantic partner. By the time that partner is saying it's me or the PS5, because you play too much and I hate this and I hate that side of you and you're going to either abandon it completely or we're done. Wow, you got to make choices in your relationship that allow you to be genuinely you. If that is what you're doing, your partner will see that and they will see the best version of you and they will support that and they will want you to do more of that and figure out where's this going to go. I think that's the thing that's completely missing in this song and in these memes, also in our field of psychology and mental health counseling the idea of what gaming disorder is. So one note that a lot of people have lost sight of the idea that you can do something for mood modification and socialization and for leveling and progression and flow and you can have some salience in there. It can be a good thing, but it can also turn to a bad thing. This isn't black or white, it's very shades of gray. When we have ultimatums, they thrive in that black and white area. I just would encourage everyone who's listening to the show this week to think about opportunities where you can see the middle ground, the gray area, and see how can I take the best parts of me to make strong connections with the people around me, both in the game and in other life areas. If you can do that, then you will learn some of the coolest lessons in life metaphorically from games, but you'll get to use them in life yourself. Let's go on the return to get back to our daily lives and take our next step forward. All right, jenny, where are you going to take with you into the week from our wonderful Mirror, the PS5 conversation.

Speaker 2:

I am adding this song to my Spotify playlist. I'm going to continue having fun watching my partner play video games while I edit. That's literally something we do together. Sometimes I'm told that I've never decided to do the whole ultimatum thing. When I faced challenges with video gaming, I was able to talk about it, communicate and ever came it. Yeah, I think this was a really fun episode.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I really did miss Jean, because I'm wondering what he would have to say about some of this. I know so curious Because I know that him and his partner have been doing a couch co-op run of Baldur's Gate for months now and that's the kind of marriage they have. Maybe we'll have to just dip back in and ask him what he thinks next episode. It also is super fun doing an OG style episode. Yeah, Persona.

Speaker 2:

It's been a minute.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, All right. So if these conversations sound fun to you and you're looking for some great people to play online games with, check out aie at aie-gildorg. And if you'd like to support the show and be able to get more gamers journey and doctor gameology content, you can support us on Patreon at Doctor Gameology. And I have one last quest for everyone to collect for the day Choose wisely and continue the journey.

Speaker 2:

See you next week.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Daniel Kaufmann

Host
Head Shot

MarcusB814

Co-host