The Gaming Persona

Offices and Controllers: Finding Our Home in Gaming

• Daniel Kaufmann Ph.D. | Dr. Gameology • Season 5 • Episode 14

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MarcusB814 and Dr. Gameology explore the connections between gaming interfaces, personal spaces, and what motivates us as gamers during their most introspective episode yet. Their conversation weaves through controller preferences, creating ideal gaming environments, and finding inspiration in unexpected places.

• Marcus tries Fortnite for the first time to evaluate its appropriateness for his child
• Dr. Gameology shares the emotional experience of taking his son on college campus visits
• Detailed comparison of keyboard/mouse versus controller setups for different game genres
• Discussion of Final Fantasy XIV's innovative controller interface for MMO gameplay
• Dr. Gameology finally acquires Mortal Kombat 9 with Freddy Krueger after years of searching
• Marcus describes reinvigorating his office space and how it affected his motivation
• Contrasting approaches to motivation: aggressive accountability versus gentle encouragement
• The psychological concept of flow state and its importance in gaming performance
• Comparing older Mortal Kombat games to newer microtransaction-heavy editions
• Reflections on David Goggins' motivational philosophy and its application to everyday challenges


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Thanks for Listening, and Continue The Journey!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Gaming Persona Podcast. I'm MarcusB814. I'm joined by my esteemed best friend, dr Gameology, and we're here to talk about video games and sidebars. Why? Because that's what I do. I'm here for the sidebar, he's here to drop psychology on you and this is our show right now. Right now, you know, we had a plan and I was so hyped up today, like you you almost burst my bubble a little bit like almost because I was so excited to talk today because I heard our new intro and my I have 72 beats per minute, thanks, watch. Um, I was so excited because the new intro of the show you were right about it. It completely fits my personality, my part of the intro, and it was invigorating to hear it. It almost made me feel like I'm a You're a part of the show.

Speaker 1:

No, you're a part of the show. No, I've been a part of the show now for whatever and I, so that part I'm not thinking about. It's more of like it's my show as well as your show, like before it was your show, because, like, you're the voice, even though I'm the side voice. You know what I'm saying. You may know, you may own the ip, but now people, now I have a voice. So, like, if somebody from the world of the world decides to listen to the gaming persona, they may get my intro now yeah, they might.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying. In fact, the the um when when I upload a new episode into the Buzzsprout dashboard, it listens to the whole thing.

Speaker 2:

It remasters the sound you know, extra stuff that I didn't even do in the edit to make it sound just super perfect. So it's all kinds of AI over the episode to do the description and give me options like description A, description B Gives me like seven titles to choose from and I can still edit it if one of them is really close. But it did something that I love, marcus, what In the description of the episode it put your name first and then me Because you were the intro, and it's never done that before. It's always dr gamology and marcus discuss. But it made it feel like that was your episode and I was like that is so smart ai, good job, yeah yep, it just feels like our episode.

Speaker 1:

The only thing if I can, I complain. Yeah go ahead. What are you drinking right now?

Speaker 2:

Um the margarita. Ooh.

Speaker 1:

I love that. I love it so much. So, um, I'm going to get to the completionist part of me today, but I'm going to first start off with can I tell you something that really bugs me.

Speaker 2:

That's why we're here.

Speaker 1:

Okay, great, I don't counsel people anymore.

Speaker 2:

So you just tell me what's bothering you, we'll do a treatment plan, all right.

Speaker 1:

So the treatment plan is I really want an Xbox controller representing me. I think the PlayStation controller and the gaming persona logo does not fit my profile. Okay, the gold shadow is needed in the logo. Okay, look at that beauty.

Speaker 2:

So it's not a PlayStation controller, Marcus. Yeah, but it should be different. You don't like matching me? No, we're two personalities.

Speaker 1:

You can't match me. You wish you could.

Speaker 2:

You can't like matching me? No, we're two personalities. Yeah, because you can't match me. You wish you could, you can't.

Speaker 1:

You're bringing the pain, okay.

Speaker 2:

You know I have the wrestling menu music in my head and you can't hear it. But like I just had Bray Wyatt's theme playing this entire intro and that song gets me going, it's so bittersweet that. And now I have Alexa Bliss's song playing in my head and I love her. So like I'm not going to be able to focus the entire episode because we have WWE queuing us up turn it off.

Speaker 1:

Turn off the music.

Speaker 2:

You're no fun. You're the fun. Police, marcus, I am. I'm the fun bag police. It's muted Now. Now.

Speaker 1:

I can only hear you.

Speaker 2:

You're the only voice in my head. I hear voices in my head, so if everybody can't realize.

Speaker 1:

So I'm going away next week. So we realize. So I'm going away next week. So we're going to be doing a double episode this week, and I don't know when you're going to hear this, these words, but we, we've got something special planned. It's wrestlemania weekend coming. It's big, it's awesome. I can't wait. But anyway, I did something I thought I would never do, ever in my entire life, today, ready for this.

Speaker 2:

I don't know if I'm ready. I'm so excited. I have no idea what you're about to say, but I really hope you're about to say a specific thing. I don't know if we're there yet. What is it, Marcus?

Speaker 1:

I played Fortnite today.

Speaker 2:

That's not it today. That's not it, marcus. Why would you cue me up for the most magical moment of our show together and then?

Speaker 1:

it's just you played fortnight, oh yeah, but I did, I downloaded it. So my kid has been asking to play it and I always say no, because I know what online video games are like for little kids, right, and I don't want to. I wanted to play it. I want to say, okay, I'm going to turn off the chat, I'm going to see what it's like because you're using guns, but like, are guns really? It's like because you know you're using guns, but like, ah, are guns really? You know it's like cartoon, right, but do they transition that like? I understand? Like you don't. You don't let a little kid play grand theft auto, clearly right, but so many people kids play Fortnite. There you go. So I guess my point to you is like I did it and I never thought I would. I got beat twice, but my son was wearing the headphones, so it's not like I was going to actually have a chance. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah you know what I mean? Oh yeah, but it was. It was just interesting because this week I've been thinking a lot about games and, like my son's not allowed to play roblox because their their parental settings aren't actual parental settings, the game is actually terrible for kids. Yeah, I agree, like no parent should ever let their kid play that game. Even when you turn on the parental settings the lowest settings it has still allows blood, nudity and violence, like that's not okay. Yeah, yeah, fun, fun.

Speaker 2:

Funny.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, funny. Anyway, doc, what did you play this week?

Speaker 2:

Final Fantasy 16, and I played. That might be the only video game that I played this week. My game time was very low. I took my son on a college campus visit on one of my stream days and that was great.

Speaker 1:

What's that got to feel like? You know, you held him as a baby baby, like baby, like football baby, and now you're getting ready to send him to college.

Speaker 2:

It's got to be. Yeah, I mean, he's so impressive, marcus, that most impressive. Yeah, he's just. He's just pulling it all together. I'm so proud of him and like he's really earning opportunities in life and that's so cool you know it's.

Speaker 1:

It's hard when you're a kid to let kids know that you know elementary school, middle school, high school. Well, elementary school is pretty sweet, but middle school and high school pretty much suck.

Speaker 2:

And then, once you're, there's not actually a whole up on time, being responsible, being responsive, communicating clearly, and you know, in my line of work, honestly it's like navigating technology successfully, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I feel like college is life lessons. You know, I didn't go to college. To college I worked, but my life lessons came through that. You know what I mean. Yeah, the fact that you're playing fortnight as evil john cena is just insanity. Yeah, it's still on theme with our episodes, so that's why I'm doing it episodes yeah, also, you can't see me, marcus oh, I can see you uh, you're, you're, you're very uh bright oh, that's so nice.

Speaker 2:

Look at my backpack. Isn't that just the best?

Speaker 1:

isn't that just?

Speaker 1:

the the best docs docs backpack is the spinner belt, yep, yep. Anyway, you know I was thinking about it as I was playing Elden Ring and I've started. I pumped out a couple shorts this week, like I'm actually doing some work. I actually screen recorded myself playing because I did not want to waste the moment of me seeing Radagon for the first time and it felt good to be in front of the camera again because I haven't really like a little bit, but really, truly, it's been a year or two since I really was like live, live, maybe two, you know. Yeah, and I'm not saying that I like I'm gonna start going live all the time, but I think somebody introduced me to this website for your like videos and it actually makes it really easy to make videos with it. Yeah, there's da vinci resolve, which is a little more detailed, but then there's this other one for like making clips and it. It's actually pretty sweet to have that. Is it like cap cut? No, no, not cap cut.

Speaker 2:

um, eclipse, eclipse maybe, yeah, I, I told you about that one too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh maybe then it was you right. Yeah, and it actually has made a couple things and I've actually made a couple videos I actually put. Did I tell you about my son sitting in front of the computer playing Minecraft?

Speaker 2:

You did. I think you actually talked about that on an episode too, so our audience should know about it. All right great.

Speaker 1:

So this week I made two videos. That kid was so happy that I made videos and I cut them down and I did one of them with like an ai edit, where they like put music in and like. You know what I mean. And it's really interesting to see a little kid sit in front of a mic and play a video game. What comes out of their mouth?

Speaker 2:

yeah, so what's his personality like when he's playing games?

Speaker 1:

me oh, he's you like interesting it's funny to see the mannerisms of the six-year-old me having just the freedom to say whatever he wants in front of the microphone.

Speaker 1:

And he understands that he doesn't have to be on top of the microphone to have the conversation, but he knows he has to talk towards it and like, sure, there's some silence Cause he doesn't do that.

Speaker 1:

But all of a sudden he'll be building something in Minecraft and he'll just start rambling on about what he's doing, explaining what he's doing, and like I'm digging down because I want to get to this and that I'm going to take that and because I want to get to this, and then I'm gonna take that and I'm gonna do this. And then, oh, there's a fish and like his reactions to things, yeah, I'm so excited that I have the technology to be able to capture this and we created on my youtube channel and I'm slowly gonna upload them and not say anything about it and just like, let let the channel just be and I'll edit the videos and you know and see what happens. I just am curious to see what a six year old kid play in Minecraft with an adult doing some video editing does for the um um like self-esteem or no, just, just no.

Speaker 1:

Just says what it does on youtube.

Speaker 2:

Oh, just like. Okay, like analytics.

Speaker 1:

Yes, just like okay, what is a six-year-old, like a six-year-old may youtube channel is dad making up clips? Let's see what happens. You know what I mean. And like between me and you, that's how like I'm not. That's how, like how people get found when they're little kids, right, because they're so little.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Next thing you know, the kid's getting 1,000 views on something.

Speaker 2:

That would be cool. You could make him into a kid streaming sensation.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if I would do that, because the internet, at the end of the day, is so neat.

Speaker 2:

You, the day a manager and and make all of his joyful moments into work no, yeah, like just let him be, I wouldn't have him stream.

Speaker 1:

No, I would, I would load a stream up and like have him with me for a stream, like a father-son stream with me there, but I don't think I would ever let him do that alone, just because you know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

It's one thing to screen record and he, you know uh yeah, it's like giving the controller to your sibling when it's not even plugged in and making them think they're playing yeah you know like he can get the experience of streaming, but he's not actually live. Well, right, not live outside of the room?

Speaker 1:

right, it's.

Speaker 2:

It's actually adorable, you know yeah, that's a pretty cool moment between you and him too, um so I did load up mass effect.

Speaker 1:

Oh wow I didn't I? I didn't play it. Well, I did play it. I went through the intro because I just wanted to see. I wanted to see what's out there, right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think after last episode you were the one that really wanted to play mass effect, honestly well, it's my, it's one of my favorite games, right and honestly, I hate to say it because it's such a newer game, but elden ring has to be the best game I've ever played in my life you've said it recently, you've said it on the show it's hard to argue, it's just so detailed and somebody said to me maybe it was a track, said it to me a long time ago that once you get to or maybe it was you a long, long time ago and it stuck with me Once you get to 50 hours, the game starts to make sense.

Speaker 1:

But because I'm so bad at video games, I think it took me to get to like 75 hours. Oh, I died. Yeah, he plays 61st, though, um, and it it's so detailed and so good, I don't know. And then last night I watched doritos play it and he's a savage. He's playing elden ring keyboard and mouse. Okay, that is pure hardcore mode. Why the get to me now? To me, that game does not compute to me doing keyboard and mouse. It's way too like, I don't know. For me it's made for a controller. You know what I'm saying, sure.

Speaker 2:

It is definitely designed for a controller, but if you are a PC gamer then you know that's your go-to mouse and keyboard.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, maybe, but I don't know. It doesn't compute for me. Which brings me to a question that's pretty important, and I got to ask what is your favorite game that you've played using a keyboard and mouse, and vice versa, the your favorite game, and it doesn't have to be your like number one favorite game, your number one favorite game using a controller. So what I mean by that is like where the controls of the game just make sense. I'll give you an example. Go ahead, the controls of the game just make sense.

Speaker 2:

I'll give you an example. Go ahead. I think mouse and keyboard for me really equates to an MMO, so it's hard for me to say Final Fantasy XIV compared to SWTOR. Those are my two MMOs that I've played. Sure, star Wars, the old Republic I've never tried to set it up with key binds and trickery to play with a controller, so I've played that game only with a mouse and keyboard, whereas final fantasy 14, they have both built into the options. It's very easy to switch. It's pretty easy to set up your move bars for controller and I personally have been playing controller on that game for about two years straight now. Only, yeah, yeah, I play Final Fantasy XIV on controller PS5 controller for the win.

Speaker 1:

And let me ask you a question, as I'm following up with this do you find it a better experience playing an mmo with a controller versus keyboard and mouse?

Speaker 2:

the way final fantasy 14 does it. I really do like it. It's got this um extended cross hot bar system where you hold down shoulder buttons to determine which set of moves are available for your face buttons, and what that enables you to do is you have eight face buttons, you have the d up down left and right on the left side of the controller and you have the actual action buttons, so square, triangle, x and circle.

Speaker 1:

And for normal people it's X, y, a, b.

Speaker 2:

Of course, yeah, and when you hold down R2, you have a different set of. You have the right set of moves. When you hold down L2, you have the left set of moves, and when you double tap L2 or double tap R2, it switches to version two. So you actually have now 16 moves and then if you hit and hold L2, then R2, you have a different set of eight, and if you hold down R2 and L2, you have a different set of eight. So even though there's only eight buttons there, you always have access to about 24 different moves.

Speaker 1:

Yeah it's. That is aggressive, but I bet once you get fluid movement with it, it actually makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I would say, after you play 20 hours that way, you don't even think about it anymore. 10 hours, it starts to feel comfortable. Five hours, you keep it basic and you can get it. You know it's, it's a, it's a progressive learning curve and I don't even think about it anymore. And that's important in MMORPGs because those games are very complex and boss fights are technically aggressive for you to survive them and you really don't have time to win some of those fights if you're spending a lot of time thinking about it. And that is why my research on psychological flow is actually so compelling, because the method of surviving that video game environment is to experience psychological flow, feel, don't think, yeah, use the force, use the force, use the force.

Speaker 1:

I feel the same way because I remember. So I was an Xbox 360 gamer, console gamer through and through, and when I built my first Franken slut 2000 computer, the reason why I was a Franken slut is because it was all used parts and we, instead of calling it Frankenstein, we called it the Franken slut. Is because it was all used parts and we, instead of calling it Frankenstein, we called it the Franken slut. Whatever did I was young and stupid, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 1:

I tried, I treated that thing like bad, but anyway, it took me about a month to learn how to use the keyboard and mouse and feel comfortable using it, because going from controller and then you move your mouse and it's like hyper movements because you're just moving your mouse, it. It was a challenge. Like you have to learn like dpi and turn the sensitivity down to get it to a point where you can move fast enough but yet not make yourself dizzy and spin in circles yeah, that makes sense yeah, um, so I guess my next question is going to a controller what game has the most fluid mean?

Speaker 2:

most games do use a controller anyway.

Speaker 1:

So like I don't, I don't know that I think about that all that much oh okay, so like for me, keyboard and mouse call of duty is the greatest experience. For me, on call, like a first person shooter on a keyboard and mouse, is like yin and yang. For me, like it's like perfect, because you aim with the mouse, you have your controls on your d-pad, I mean your keyboard, all of that stuff where you know an mmo. Honestly, if swotor could use a, I would prefer that, because all of I use an MMO mouse that has 12 buttons on the side and when I play SWO tour I walk with my left and right mouse button, w, a, s, d, q, e, or all of my defensives in SWO tour.

Speaker 2:

You're a strange dude, Marcus. I can't even wrap my head around how you play.

Speaker 1:

Right and I click the middle mouse button to walk backwards. Huh, okay. That's how I beat Revan you do you my friend, of course. But then when you go to a controller, believe it or not, then when you go to a controller, believe it or not, I felt the most fluid game controls for me ever for a controller was gears of war.

Speaker 1:

Remember that game that I never played it because it's in the other ecosystem, oh maybe once your lenovo book gets there that we you said you weren't gonna buy, but you bought, I did buy it, yeah yeah once you get your game pass, you'll play a gears of war game I would love to. It looks like something I'd enjoy a lot but I can't believe you bought it like we looked at it last week and you were like I, I'm not buying it, it's $2,000. I never said that, I never.

Speaker 2:

No, no, I never said I wasn't buying it. If you got that out of me, it's because you imagined it. You think I'm more financially responsible than I actually am.

Speaker 1:

No, I don't. I don't, wouldn't put it that way, my friend. I would put it as you work really hard. I don't, I don't, wouldn't put it that way, my friend. I would put it as you work really hard. And if you have to and if you can't, I say this as a 42 year old man and I'm going to use my hockey skates as an example.

Speaker 1:

So I bought an entry level pair of skates when I first started skating and they were like a hundred bucks, dude. I put them on and I wore them for like two weeks and I was like I can't wear these, dude. I put them on and I wore them for like two weeks and I was like I can't wear these. They hurt, they don't fit right, I'm going to hurt myself with them. So I went out and bought $650 skates, which aren't the most expensive pair. But my point is is if I can't buy that for myself, what am I doing with my life? You know what I'm saying. Like I work hard. You know what I'm saying? Like I work hard, we, I, we, me and you both put in the hours. And if you can't buy yourself a computer, yeah, maybe you're not paying for it in full and you got a payments on it. Who cares? But like I don't know, that's how I feel.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, I'm going to have payments on it, but I think that it will enable me to do a lot more work outside of this room. You know, I like being in this room Like it's mine, and you look behind me and see all the books and you see the statues that I put there and the sign, and I love what this room is, but I'm in it a lot and it's starting to feel a little claustrophobic and I have to be actually in here more because, believe it or not, there are things I wish I was accomplishing that I'm not right now, and I think the solution to that is to be able to take work outside of this room when I want to, and I really just think that that device will unlock some productive opportunity. You know, like I went to the gym this week for the first time ever in my life. How did that feel? It was fun. I was there actively doing different cardio machines for almost 50 minutes.

Speaker 2:

Um, talk to one of the workers set up a trainer visit for next week so that I can have someone like coach me on how to safely do the weights and and things that I've never done. Um, I do have some injuries and surgeries that I don't want to re-aggravate those areas. Um, so I told them that they're like, this is really important to me, I want to. I want to add different kinds of exercises that I haven't been doing my whole entire adult life and they're like perfect, like so supportive, so excited to have me there. You know just really good vibe at the gym that I decided to subscribe to. So I'm excited to keep doing that at least once a week. Maybe go there two times.

Speaker 2:

And then I have all kinds of at-home fitness equipment.

Speaker 2:

I have a treadmill, I have my standing desk that you know goes up and down, you know, like I just have goes up and down, you know like I, I just have, and you know, like I just have to, I just have to remember to use the things that I have here, but I do want to get out of the house too. So, you know, I have a lot of fitness equipment that enable me to kind of blend work with exercise if I want to. But I also need to learn how to take care of me and disconnect that from work. Otherwise, otherwise I'll just work my entire life and I don't. I don't think I want to do that. So, yep, that's where I'm at, you know? Uh, oh, marcus, I did put an end to a gaming quest that has tortured me for years, would you like to know?

Speaker 2:

well, clearly, if, if it's over, like, let's hear it do you know what the drama is surrounding mortal kombat 9? No, from like 2010 or 12 or something? No. Well, one of the biggest celebrity guests that are a playable character in that game is freddy krueger, okay, but not robert england's freddy krueger, the bad one from when they attempted to reboot, but still freddy, okay, it's still freddy. Yeah, the problem when you license a character like that is the contract has an expiration date, and so once they discontinued selling the standard edition and then the only edition they were selling is the complete edition that comes with all the dlc. But freddy is one of the dlc and his contract expired, which means you can't buy Mortal Kombat Complete Edition. So it's been bothering me for years that I can't play it, because that, seriously, is my favorite Mortal Kombat. It's before it got overrun with microtransactions and stupid thousands of costumes that you have to play hundreds of hours to earn, and incentivizing online play just to earn a new gauntlet for scorpion, and incentivizing the purple version of sub-zero instead of the blue by winning 50 matches without pressing a kick button, and all kinds of garbage that's just meant to inflate your engagement Mm-hmm and exhaust your wallet, mm-hmm. And Mortal Kombat 1 that just came out is the worst, like this. But Mortal Kombat 11 is like this, and Mortal Kombat 10 or Mortal Kombat Extra Large XL started to be like that. So the last game where I just had good feelings about mortal combat is nine. Okay, freddie ruined it, though, freddie Yep.

Speaker 2:

So a year ago I decided to buy a key on steam and I put the key in and said this key has already been redeemed. Oh, so I returned it and I got a refund. I was like, okay, I guess all the keys have been bought out, so this game really is impossible to play. But last week I bought a key for 14 on g2acom and I put it in and it said this key has already been used. Oh no, purchase unsuccessful. So I went to g2a. I gave it a thumbs down on the seller. I said I bought a key that didn't work. Within five minutes they emailed me and said I think we can fix this for you. Can you please change your rating while we figure this out? I was like five, five minutes, wow, okay, I'll do it.

Speaker 2:

I went in, I changed my review, I said they contacted me immediately on this failed key and they said they're going to try and figure it out. And that's a really quick response, right. And then we had to do our taxes on monday and tuesday so I forgot to check. But they asked me almost immediately like a few hours later would you like a replacement key or a refund? And I saw that this morning. I was like I don't want 14, I want mortal kombat 9 with freddy krueger. Well, I don't care about freddy krueger, but he's the reason this is a problem yeah, but you want it like you want it and you can't have it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah right.

Speaker 2:

So I said let's try another key. So they sent me one within 10 minutes. I put it in and it worked so two years of me wishing I could just play this game again and it's on my desktop it's such a good feeling, marcus, like it's on my steam deck too, so I I seriously can play it whenever I want, now and uh. So now, as far as my steam library, I have mortal combat, combat nine, 10, 11 and one.

Speaker 1:

It sounds to me one is 12. Yeah, so it sounds to me like a stream is incoming with mortal combat. Nine to celebrate this moment.

Speaker 2:

It will. Yeah, so I did stream this morning a little bit. I had to do a super early start because my schedule was so packed today and I played final fantasy 16, the mortal combat, 16. The Mortal Kombat yeah, the Mortal Kombat thing didn't happen until this afternoon. So, yeah, but yeah, I'll definitely do it and I'll talk about the nostalgia and why this, this one in particular, really matters to me.

Speaker 1:

Which one was Molina not in.

Speaker 2:

Was it nine? I think it was. Yeah, I think it was 11 that she was not in for the longest time. But then the final batch of DLC, the fan outrage, finally got her in.

Speaker 1:

She's the greatest character ever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, she's amazing.

Speaker 1:

Even with her giant teeth.

Speaker 2:

That is not what I thought you were about to say, marcus, oh, so anyway.

Speaker 1:

Well, remember I mentioned to you about being a completionist, yeah, so when was it? I don't remember? Something happened last week to me where I just I couldn't do it anymore and I needed to finish my office and we moved into our new house in September of 24. And my office has been done. I don't know when I was done, but I had decorated right, like it's not out of anything, but just procrastination and just not doing it, not motivated, and I haven't really been spending a lot of time in my office because I found the couch with the PlayStation or the Xbox and just playing games with Rye, like good old Rhino and me just jamming whatever, and we're playing together.

Speaker 1:

So like I'm not playing games at my computer but I'm playing more games with him, and then at night I'm watching wrestling or I'm playing hockey or I'm just watching a show, which is kind of odd for me anyway. So last weekend we didn't have any hockey, we had no gymnastics, we were just home and my wife started to clean, like our storage room, cause we have a basement. Most, depending on where you live, you may not have basements. So we have a basement and I just started pulling out all my tubs out of the garage that said Marcus's office, and I finally have decorated, I have put stuff on the walls, I found the stuff that's important to me and I feel whole again. I feel come like. I want to be back in my office, if that makes any sense at all yeah, it does.

Speaker 2:

It's kind of interesting the parallel of me saying I want to get out of my office and you wanting to be in your office. That's interesting yeah, we didn't plan, that I swear.

Speaker 1:

We didn't no, of course not. We are, oh, natural. I think the difference, doc, is that you work from home. I'm gone all day, yeah. So my and and and let me tell you, since I've been in the new house, I really haven't had any desire to be in here. If I'm being real, and now that it's done and like my pete rose jersey is hanging on the wall and all of my stuff is on the walls, it makes it feel home again. You know what I mean, and I feel whole. I feel like I'm finally back Since it's been done. Last week, I think I put more hours in my office in a week than I had in months. You know, yeah, yeah week than I had in months. You know, yeah, yeah, and you know my like, my bookcase is up and I. I just start to feel like it's home again and my balloon animal killer, uh, penny arcade, is behind me and it feels good.

Speaker 1:

You know, I just, I don't know. I just had to, like I just had to talk about it because I didn't realize how much I missed it, until now that I've missed it you have a really cool book up on that third shelf too, very visible center of the shelf oh, the founding, yeah, by dan arnett. That thing is nasty, that book was you jerk.

Speaker 2:

You know what book I'm talking about?

Speaker 1:

this one, you fool oh, that book called the gamers journey. Uh, gamers journey, yeah, I would say if I had to rank that I would give it a strong, like 9.2 out of 10. It'sa solid book. I get, I get lost in some of the words because I'm a moron, but you know, when I read it there's this guy, this author, his name's uh, dr daniel kaufman. Like when I hear him speak and then I read his book, I can read his like sarcastic tone when he's saying some of the things and I makes me chuckle. So sometimes when I'm down in the dumps I'll just open the book, random, like when we first started the show, I opened the book and I just started reading apart because I'm reading it in this, this uh guy's voice and it just it's calming.

Speaker 2:

Anyways, you've been trying to say something, you're being so silly about it, but when you sent me the picture of your office finally put together, oh yeah, you zoomed right in on it.

Speaker 2:

Well, no, it's just Okay. That book and my eyeballs are magnets. Okay, because I spent so many years investing in that future when it would be on somebody's bookshelf and I wasn't looking for it. It was an instant recognition. It just was a really special moment for me that you include it on your shelf in a way that it's not the binding, like you can see the front cover too. It's like you did that on purpose and that is just so special to me. Okay, so there's, can I give you two?

Speaker 1:

answers to that real quick, sure.

Speaker 1:

So the two answers are every book that you see on there, every single book on that shelf I've read, except one, which is the brand new star wars reign of empire um reign of the empire book, which I'm taking that on vacation because I'm gonna read it, because I'm like I don't know, 100 pages, maybe 150 pages away with being done with the way of kings. It's my first thousand page book and that is the craziest shit I've ever done and I don't know if I would do it again. But anyway, it's almost too much. Like you should have done part one and part two, brandon sanderson, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

Like it's almost too much you could have had two sales for marcus right in that book like you're the first.

Speaker 1:

Like 30 chapters are about these characters and then they die.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, 30 chapters, and then there's more. Yeah, it's like my dream, marcus.

Speaker 1:

Well, my point is so everything on this shelf I've read. But, doc, I think Maybe it was done on purpose, maybe it was subconsciously, but so right next to me is my peloton bike, right, yeah, and it faces like towards the door because I don't want to stare at walls when I'm riding the bike and sometimes when I'm feeling weak on the bike and it's like I'm doing a 60 minute ride and I'm fucking sweating, my heart rate is at 140. Yes, and I'll read, I'll see the book and it'll give me a little burst of motivation, because I remember vividly one time I was talking to you. You sounded so tired and you're like marcus, I'm exhausted, I'm writing this book and I have to get it done and I, I'm doing this and I have this and this and this and you fucking still ground it through shit. I swore.

Speaker 2:

And it's okay.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I know it is. I'm going to start donating a dollar. I'm going to set up like a Venmo account that every time I swear on the podcast I'm going to donate a dollar. When I get 25 of them, I'm going to donate them to a charity. Or if you swear, you gotta donate a dollar. I think that's only fair, even though I'll swear a lot more than you.

Speaker 2:

I'm not agreeing to that. I like, I like to hold on to my money. You gotta scrape and claw just to get every little bit.

Speaker 1:

But anyway, my point is um, it sometimes gives me strength in a moment of weakness, because if my friend can write a book when he's as busy as he is, I can ride the Peloton bike for an hour.

Speaker 2:

You know, there have been a couple conversations for me this week with friends and you did this for one of them where I was questioning what I have time to do in my life, and it's just a unanimous opinion that you do have time to do these things. You're just choosing not to or you're choosing to, and you know. If that's what the journey is, then I'm glad that what I wrote can inspire people to think that way. Do you know who, David?

Speaker 1:

Goggins is.

Speaker 2:

I'm almost 100% certain I do, but I don't remember why.

Speaker 1:

Okay so he had a really tough childhood and then he went into the service and they told him he couldn't be anything, but he ended up being a Navy SEAL and this guy's like a motivational guy. This thing is stay hard and it's your choice to be weak when you can say to yourself I'm going to go for a run today, I'm going to go to the gym today, I'm going to ride the Peloton today, I'm going to play hockey today, but then you're sitting on the couch and you're comfortable and you're like I don't feel like it today. You're just being a bitch Straight up. That's weakness winning. That right. There has been my motivation to be better. Stop letting weakness win. Anybody can take 20 minutes out of their day or an hour out of their day to go to the gym to feel good, or jump on the treadmill or ride the peloton or play hockey or go do fucking 30 jumping jacks. Right, get off your ass and do it excuses.

Speaker 2:

I think that description is a little bit aggressive, but it's true. I think that using the word weak is a major distractor there. Sure, I've had therapy sessions with people where I've gotten the chance to explain a philosophy and try to connect it to what they just said. And if you're sitting on the couch and you are tired, and that tired is on the verge of canceling out that trip to the gym, then instead of calling my client weak because of that mindset, the way that moment happens when I do it is more like you are allowed to be just as tired as you are right now after you go to the gym, right Like you will be tired like you are right now after you go to the gym. You will be tired like you are right now if you decide not to go to the gym. Now, if you decide not to go to the gym, the only thing that is different between those two versions of reality is whether you did the thing that makes you feel good about yourself or not, because the tired is the universal constant.

Speaker 1:

So I think we're saying the same thing just I'm less aggressive about applying a shame label on people well, well, and I'm an aggressive person, like I'm very black and white, yeah, yeah, you know, and, and, and there's no. I would say there's no wrong way in either way of saying it, because I would never tell you. Well, I would tell you to stop being weak and just get it done. But like I wouldn't say it to somebody, I'm like that I'm in a therapy session with, or somebody I don't know. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

We have different worlds that we live in. Correct, yes for sure, like you can be that aggressive and be like don't be a bitch, Don't be weak, and you know, the world that I live in now is like. How do I find the tactful way of saying that that motivates and inspires and doesn't threaten?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, In both ways. I'm not saying either way is wrong. Right, Yours is way more gentle, but some like for me I'm not gentle.

Speaker 2:

I'm a gentle, cuddly guy. I'm the Mr Rogers of video games. Oh my God.

Speaker 1:

You know it's taken 12 episodes for that Were those words to come out. I've been waiting for you to say that you're the Mr Rogers of video games.

Speaker 2:

That's not my words. That's like multiple people visiting my channel for the first time telling me that over the years I never intended for that, Like I don't wear the sweater vests at all.

Speaker 1:

I think you should, maybe for Halloween you should like dress up as Mr Rogers, just for I'll dye my hair white.

Speaker 2:

No, you don't need to do that.

Speaker 1:

No, you could do like young Mr Rogers and just dress up that looks like Google. I'll tell you go to Grock or whatever. The fuck is the chat, gpt or whatever those? Yeah, I'm gonna do that right now, I'm gonna just handle that, but anyway, I'm rambling on, it's uh what was this episode about? Marcus, I think this episode is about finding the path to victory. Continue your journey.

People on this episode

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Daniel Kaufmann

Host
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MarcusB814

Co-host