Reinvention Rebels

Reinvent Yourself: 3 Ways to Kick Your Fears to the Curb | How to Build Your Do It Scared, Do It Anyway Muscle!

March 09, 2023 Wendy Battles Season 5 Episode 4
Reinvention Rebels
Reinvent Yourself: 3 Ways to Kick Your Fears to the Curb | How to Build Your Do It Scared, Do It Anyway Muscle!
Show Notes Transcript

Have you ever noticed that you are stronger, wiser and more courageous than you think?

Those qualities exist within all of us and are key to reinventing ourselves.

Sometimes we have to build our Do It Scared muscle to bring them out. 💪🏾

The good news: I have 3 simple strategies to help you build and flex this muscle as you reinvent yourself and crush those big goals of yours!

This episode builds on the recent episode, Reinvent Yourself: Why You Should Do It Scared and Do It Anyway! | How to Take Action in the Midst of Your Fears. (take a listen before or after for more inspiration!)

The prior episode explored what it means to do it scared and why we should go for it. Now we're talking "the how" - how do we actually reinvent ourselves when we're feeling scared, unsure or less than confident.

I'm sharing all my Do It Scared secrets that have helped me build my confidence and kick uncertainty to the curb as I reinvented myself.

Tune in to learn:

✳️ Why the "how" is just as important as your why for reinventing yourself
✳️ Why you must build your self-belief muscle to gain confidence and take that leap
✳️ How to tap into your inner wisdom to build a Do It Scared mindset
✳️ How you can use others' successes as inspiration for your own reinvention journey
✳️ How to build your "Reinvention Dream Team" that always has your back and encourages you when you can't encourage yourself.

There is wisdom, hope and possibility in this episode not to mention a mini Do It Scared roadmap! I can't wait for you to listen to this episode.

And you'll love the cheat sheet I have for you so that you can get started with building your Do It Scared muscle.

Reinvention calls on us to get to know ourselves - to dig deep, uncover our why and overcome our doubts along the journey.  It's a muscle-building experience that can encourage inspired action!

Come join us, listen and Do It Scared!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Thanks for joining me, let's reinvent and get inspired together!

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Wendy: What if I told you that you could learn to flex your “do-it-scared muscle" with more ease to help you navigate your reinvention journey? Would you be all in? The truth is, you can and it doesn't have to be so hard. Today on the Reinvention Rebels podcast, I'm sharing my top three "Do it scared" strategies to help you move forward toward those big goals of yours. Because your dreams matter, life is short, and what are you waiting for?

Welcome to Reinvention Rebels, stories of brave and unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young, who have boldly reimagined life on their own terms to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, Wendy Battles. Ready for a dose of inspiration? Let's get to it.

Hey, everybody, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels guest chair. I am your host, Wendy. I am so glad you're here. If you are a first-time listener, welcome aboard. This is the place to come for information and inspiration about what is possible in midlife and beyond when we decide we want to reinvent ourselves. The truth is, there are endless possibilities. This is a top 2% globally rated podcast. We have a ball and together we inspire each other. I have the pleasure and privilege of sharing stories of really extraordinary women who have reinvented themselves in creative, interesting, and often remarkable ways. I love the opportunity to share their stories. I also want to say "Happy Women's History Month. Happy International Women's Day," which was yesterday, March 8th. This year's theme is "Embrace equity." Something that is so important and as far as we've come, there is a long way for us to go.

I was really happy yesterday to be able to celebrate with an organization I very much am committed to and appreciate being involved in called Great Dames. Great Dames is a nonprofit that empowers both women and girls through the many different programs that they run. I have a chapter or a story in a book that they're creating as a fundraiser for the organization to help advance the many different issues they work on around women and girls including equity.

I feel like it's something very concrete that I can do and contribute to, because sometimes when I look at all the things that are going on and the things that disturb me and are disheartening, it feels like sometimes we you feel powerless or I can feel powerless to do anything. But this is a great example of something very specific that I can do to try to make a difference.

I hope you've got something like that too that inspires you, that feels you or you feel like your talents and your time can make a difference in the lives of women and girls. Speaking of making a difference, I don't know if you had a chance to listen to last week's episode with my friend Patricia Melton, but she's some kind of amazing and I enjoyed our conversation immensely.

She has a really interesting reinvention story that's sort of multiple levels, but part of it is this idea of making a difference directly in her community and the work that she does, partnering with many other people in the New Haven Community. But to really work on issues of educational equity and making it easier for the young people who she truly mentors and helps thrive, to help them see possibilities as they invent themselves. I know at our age we're often reinventing ourselves, but I love that she's helping them in this really important stage of their life. If you didn't have a chance to listen, I'll link to it in the show notes. So many nuggets of wisdom that she shared, a very powerful episode. I hope it's a good listen.

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A few weeks back, I started delving into this season's theme, "Do it scared and do it anyway." We discussed what it means to actually "Do it scared," to take that leap, and why it's so important. For me, it's because I want to live as regret free of a life as I can. I want to feel like I went for it and I didn't hold back even when I'm scared to do it, but to just get out there and see what's possible.

I bet you have your own "Why?" If you didn't have a chance to listen, I encourage you to do so after this episode for a little more background. Again, I'll link to it in the show notes.

Today, we're going to take that initial conversation a step further and we're going to talk about the "How?" Part one, was about "What and the why?" Part 2 is about "How?" How do we actually go about feeling more confident in ourselves so that we can get out there? How do we do it scared and make forward progress instead of giving up on our goals or dreams or putting them on pause and then never getting back to them. How can we keep going toward that goal of ours?

I'm excited to share three strategies that I think are relatively simple and have worked for me if you're willing to dip your toe in. You may want to try one. You might want to try all of them. You might find that one resonates over the others. They are simply three ideas to inspire you into action because that's what this is really about. You got to get going or keep going on your reinvention dreams. So, getting you out of the starting blocks or pushing you down further down that path, that's what I hope to do. Maybe you got started, but now you're stalled. Lean into these three ideas, try them on for size, and see what might work for you.

Strategy number one is about "Building your self-belief muscle." I've mentioned this before. "You are stronger than you think, you are incredibly capable," but we don't always see in ourselves those things that other people can easily see about us. But when we can build that self-belief muscle and become more confident, doing it scared becomes easier. But the question is, how do we actually build that muscle? I believe that it's linked to our "Why?" Getting quiet and still in our busy world can help us naturally tune into our "Why?"

There is a wealth of wisdom within you, but if you're running around, always busy, multitasking, juggling multiple things, as so many of us do, I self-include it at times. It's actually hard to hear that inner wisdom. We have to slow down and tune in, but how? Well, for me, there are myriad of ways and here are three simple ideas. "I love walking and I love walking by myself." Go for a walk and let your mind wander. Tune into the sound and sights around you. Leave all that technology behind and immerse yourself in that experience. Getting quiet, slowing down, taking stock, really taking it all in helps us connect to ourselves. Another idea is to find a space where you can sit quietly for a few minutes a day. You don't even have to be meditating, just sitting quietly. Even this art of doing nothing, which I know for me is so hard to do absolutely nothing. To just sit down and do nothing, that is no easy task.

But if you can begin to carve out time for yourself, even in small increments, but to do that consistently it can make a big difference. Even sometimes when I'm doing other things like, "I like to cook in silence or do the dishes in silence." Even though I'm doing something, I'm giving my mind a rest. Ideas often pop up for me as I'm doing that. Figuring out how you can get quiet or find some space in your day, somewhere in your house or your apartment where you could work on this idea of getting more quiet and still.

The third idea, which is something that you may do and you may have done for a long time, but really works for me, is "Meditation and prayer." Build your faith muscle. Last week in the episode, Patricia mentioned the power of faith and how it's so important to our resilience, to our determination to believing that we can overcome something or need a goal, whatever that is that you are looking to do. And again, it's tuning into ourselves. Meditation and prayer both help us do that.

Those are three ideas to get you thinking about building that self-belief muscle. And above all, I want you to figure out a way to find this peaceful place that can give your mind a rest, because it's when we're not thinking so much and we're leading with our soul, that ideas naturally surface. Because those moments of wisdom are trying to tell you something. When you tune into those little nuggets, they can help guide your path.

You may have heard me tell the story about how I uncovered the idea for the Reinvention Rebels podcast. I was meditating and I simply heard those two words "Reinvention Rebels." I, of course, had no idea what it meant. I knew enough to write it down and spending a lot more time in silence. It came to me slowly over time that it was a podcast. But that wisdom that bubbled up has been my guide and I believe we all have the power to do that.

My point here is that when you uncover the thing that lights you up and gets you so excited when you feel like it's coming from within, it's so much easier to believe in your dreams and goals. When you believe it, you can get out there to pursue it. You can do it scared, but you do it with so much more ease because you feel like that's what you're meant to do. So, yes, it might be scary, but you also have this quiet confidence about it. So, lean into this feeling. What does it look like for you when you get more quiet? You tune in, you slow down. What have you discovered about yourself when you do that? I'd want you to noodle on that.

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Okay, strategy number two, "Identify people that are doing what you want to do and learn from them. "Have you ever looked at someone doing what you want to do and been jealous or envious of their success?" Did it ever make you feel like "Someone's already doing it so maybe you shouldn't or you probably can't?" What I've learned is that no one can do the thing the way you can do this thing that you want to do. You have your own unique way. There may be hundreds of people that do the same thing, but they don't do it the way you do it. You have a unique spin. You just need to figure out that unique path.

Instead of feeling jealous about someone else's success, use it as motivation. If they did it, so can you in your own way. You just need to figure out what it is. Which going back to my first point is about "Leaning in and getting more quiet." Case in point, there are amazing women out there that are focused on inspiring midlife women. There are coaches, speakers, tons of podcasters. There are so many women I admire and many that I'm collaborating with.

I love celebrating what we're doing and instead of competing, I actually feel like we can compliment each other in different ways. My message is slightly different than their message. "I found my lane, my voice, my unique spin." I'm here to tell you that "You can, too." But it takes a little detective work. You have to be willing to look underneath the hood. I'd like you to make a list of all the people in the space that you want to be in.

Your field or industry or lane? Who do you already know? Who could you reach out to? Who could you ask? Who could connect you with someone and make an introduction for you? How can you learn more about these people? How can you leverage things like LinkedIn to help you do some research?

I know so many questions, but you can see how you could probably know more people or have more ideas than you think. I want you to write them down as compelling action. Then start studying what they do, their journey, their challenges as inspiration for your own journey. You'll probably learn that they were scared to do it too and went for it anyway. You may find out what they gained from doing it scared. Learning from others, whether by speaking with them directly or reading about their story, will remind you that people do it scared every day. And you can, too.

And so many times, it's when we do it scared and muster our courage that we get the best results. Taking that chance or risk can lead to so many amazing things you may not even be able to anticipate right now. So, when can you find time to make your list of all of those people you admire and get started learning more about them, their stories, and how they overcame their fears?

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Strategy number three is "To build what I call a reinvention dream team." You can't do this alone. Okay, you can, but it's easier and more fun when you do it with others. When I say dream team, I'm talking about identifying the people that believe in you and your big, juicy dream. Ever notice that sometimes when we share our dreams with others, they rain on our parade? Why would you want to do that? Aren't you too old? How can you quit your job? Don't you think you're being a little selfish? The list goes on and I bet you've heard one or more of these things before. That's why you need to steer clear of naysayers. They are not your friend when it comes to pursuing your dream. Nope, you need people who are on your side and want to see you shine.

Back in Season 2, I interviewed Lori Tharps, who has an inspiring reinvention story. She and her family decided to move to Spain from the US. Lots of people questioned their idea and their dream. "How could you give up your tenured professorship? What about your kids? How'll you make a living?" But they moved into the space of possibility by focusing only on positive people that believed in them too. They read positive affirmations and listened to positive podcasts. They had a reinvention dream team that helped them along their path. It's a great story, and I've link to it in the show notes for some inspiration. I want the same for you.

Who are your biggest supporters? Who are the people that go to the mat with you and encourage you when you can't encourage yourself? Who can't wait to celebrate your success with you? Those are the people you want to surround yourself with. They can support you in doing it scared and talk you down when you're like, "I might give up." They can encourage you to take that leap into action when you're afraid. They are there to remind you that you got this. This is your tribe and they want to help you. Make a list of all these people, every single one you can think of. Then, choose two to three to be your main people. You can make the team really as big or as small as you like, but I recommend several core people who are your natural go-to's, who you can always count on, who you can even call in the middle of the night and they totally get it and understand and are there for you.

I feel fortunate to have these people in my life. Like my friend Robin, as I was starting the podcast and making plans, she was making plans to launch her voice acting career. We were on parallel tracks and we encouraged each other through our doubts. We celebrated each other when we launched, got our first jobs, released episodes, finished seasons, you get the idea. She was right there by my side and that made such a huge difference.

And my girl Erica, who not only was one of my first guests but had encouraged me every step of the way that the podcast was a good idea. And the list goes on. I have my people and I believe you have your people too. We need our reinvention dream team. It's so much more fun and empowering to pursue our dreams with the support of others and to remind us that we can do it scared and all. There are three simple strategies for you to explore, to help you "Do it scared and do it anyway".

One, build your self-belief muscle. Two, learn from others that are doing what you want to do. Three, build a supportive reinvention dream team of people that always have your back. The key is in getting started with the how? Now that you've listened to this episode, I want you to think about how you can get into action. I put together a cheat sheet that you can download to help you capture your "Do it scared, do it anyway ideas." The link is in the show notes. The truth is, "When we break things down, they don't have to be as scary as we think." Baby steps toward your dreams or maybe you're one of those. You're just going to jump out there, make a big splash and go for it. But either way, we need to take some action. Leaning in with support and encouragement can help us get there. It reminds us that we can do anything because I believe in you and your ability to do it scared. And to make your dreams come true. And I hope you do too.

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That's it for this episode. Some good food for thought. Think of it as a buffet. Choose those things that are most appealing to you or perhaps go for it all and fill up your plate and try them all, but let's do this. Let's get started doing it scared more often and move toward achieving our dreams. Girl, you got this. And don't forget download the worksheet. Let's get started on our "Do it scared journey." Can't wait to see you back here next week. I'd love to hear about your progress. So, write to me, tell me how it's going. And until next time keep shining your light. The world needs you and all that you have to offer.

Hey, rebel if this episode inspired you to think about what's possible in your life, I'll share a little secret. Any of us can reinvent ourselves no matter where we are in our lives, any age, any stage. We just have to decide to get started. Here's a super simple way for you to get going with your reinvention dreams. Download my audio, five questions to spark your curiosity and inspire your reinvention journey. I share five key questions that will spur your thinking, help you uncover your dreams, and motivate you to take action. Because if not now, when? Details in the show notes. Let's get inspired together.

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