Coming Home to Myself in Midlife: What Happens When You Create Space

What if the answers you've been searching for don't come from doing more?

In this reflective solo episode, Wendy shares what she's been discovering by slowing down, creating space, and becoming more present in her own life.

After years of staying busy, solving problems, and constantly moving toward the next thing, she's learning that not every moment needs to be fixed. Some moments simply need to be felt.

From driving a little slower to taking quiet walks and finding unexpected clarity while working in the yard, Wendy explores how creating space has helped her hear her own voice more clearly and begin coming home to herself in a deeper way.

If you've ever felt like you've been rushing through your own life, this episode is an invitation to pause, breathe, and discover what might be waiting for you in the quiet.

In this episode, you'll hear:

🌿 Why slowing down can lead to greater clarity

✨ The surprising difference between doing and simply being

💭 How quiet moments can uncover insights you can't force

❤️ Why not every uncomfortable moment needs to be fixed

🏡 How creating space can help you reconnect with yourself

Mentioned in This Episode:

📘 Free Guide: 100 Ways to Reinvent Yourself in Midlife

🎙️ Related Episodes:

• Midlife Awakening: When You Finally Stop Explaining Things Away
• Midlife Reinvention at 61: Letting Go of People-Pleasing and Choosing Yourself
• Strong on the Inside, Magnetic on the Outside: My Midlife Self-Trust Evolution

🎧 Podcast Recommendation:
If you're thinking about retirement, already retired, or simply curious about what comes next, check out Beyond Retirement, hosted by Wendy's friend Jacqui Doucette. It's a thoughtful podcast that explores what's possible in your next chapter, with inspiring conversations and fresh ideas about creating a meaningful life beyond your career.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear what stood out. Share it with a friend who might need this reminder, and let's continue the conversation.

Transcript

For most of my life, when something felt uncomfortable, my instinct was to do something.

Some people, their instinct is to eat some food, drink alcohol, or go gambling. Well, mine is to do something. Make a plan. Solve a problem. Learn something. Take action.

And I'm going to be honest, those are all things that have served me well.

Hey, hey, hey, everybody!

Welcome back to the Reinvention Rebels Podcast. I'm Wendy Battles, your host and Midlife Reinvention Architect, and I'm so glad you're joining me today.

If you're a newbie, if you somehow heard about the podcast because someone recommended it or you stumbled upon it, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels community! This is a place where we inspire each other about what's possible as we reinvent in midlife and beyond.

And if you're a regular, hey, y'all! I'm so happy you're here. Welcome back!

Today I want to talk about something I've been experiencing lately that feels both simple and profound.

I'm calling it Coming Home to Myself.

I think what's interesting about this topic is that it isn't about a dramatic breakthrough. It isn't about struggling and then suddenly everything turns around. It's not about checking something off a list or even reaching a milestone.

Instead, it's about what happens when we slow down enough to become more present in our own lives.

Honestly, I don't think I realized how much of my life I'd spent moving quickly through it until I actually started doing the opposite. Slowing down. Not feeling like I had to do all the things.

If you've listened to some of my recent solo episodes, you may be noticing a theme running through them.

I've talked about self-trust.

I've talked about letting go of people-pleasing. I was a chronic people pleaser, but I'm shifting that.

More recently, I shared what I called my midlife awakening. This awakening to myself, seeing things through different eyes and recognizing what's possible.

Looking back, I see how all of these things are connected.

For me, self-trust created the foundation for all of this.

Letting go of people-pleasing created more space for my own voice. That has been such a game changer, creating more spaciousness in my life.

And the awakening was about seeing things more clearly.

This episode feels like what comes next.

Because it's been my experience that once you start seeing things clearly, you have an opportunity to come home to yourself in a new way.

Maybe it's for the first time. Maybe it's in a different way. But either way, you're beginning to recognize how important you are.

Here's a story I want to share.

Yesterday I drove to meet a friend who lives about an hour and a half away. We meet in Glastonbury, Connecticut, which is about halfway for both of us. We try to get together often, but we're both incredibly busy with the stuff of life.

This was one of those impromptu moments.

I texted her and said, "What are you doing?"

She said, "I'm free."

So we took advantage of this gorgeous day to get together, go for a walk, and catch up.

As I was driving there, something interesting happened.

I found myself driving kind of slowly.

Now, I'm not a speed demon. I'm not driving 75 miles an hour. But I spent most of the drive going about 62 or 63 miles an hour, which, when you're used to driving faster, feels kind of slow.

I didn't do it because I had to.

I did it because that's what felt right.

A year ago, that would have driven me crazy.

You know how sometimes you're behind someone who's driving really slowly and you're thinking, "Come on!"

But yesterday, it simply felt like the right pace for me.

A year ago, I probably would have been checking the clock, calculating my arrival time, trying to get there as quickly as possible because, let's be honest, I have a tendency to leave later than I'd like.

I would've been wondering if I should speed up.

But yesterday, driving at that pace felt completely natural.

As I was doing it, I realized this wasn't really about how I was driving.

It was about how I was living.

I think I've spent a good chunk of my life moving quickly through things.

Always doing.

Always planning.

Always solving.

Always focused on what's next.

And for most of my life, when something felt uncomfortable, my instinct was to do something.

Some people instinctively reach for food, alcohol, or gambling.

Mine is to do something.

Make a plan.

Solve a problem.

Learn something.

Take action.

And honestly, those are all things that have served me well.

They've helped me build a successful career, create a podcast that I absolutely love, develop amazing and meaningful friendships, and navigate some really difficult seasons of life.

So the doing wasn't wrong.

In fact, it was helpful.

But lately, y'all, I'm learning that not every moment needs to be fixed.

Some moments just need to be felt.

Some moments need to be noticed.

Some moments need to be lived.

And that has set me on this trajectory of coming home to myself.

One of the biggest changes I've noticed is how much more comfortable I've become with quiet.

For years, if I went for a walk, there was usually something in my ears. A podcast. An audiobook. Music. Something to learn. Something to think about. Something to keep me occupied.

And there's nothing wrong with any of those things. I really enjoy them, and I'll always love learning.

But lately, I've found myself taking walks without needing anything.

Just walking.

Just noticing.

Just listening to my own thoughts.

Looking around and taking things in.

Simply being with what I'm hearing, seeing, and experiencing.

And what surprises me is that it feels good.

I don't feel deprived.

I don't feel bored.

I feel present.

I've also noticed that some of my clearest insights don't come when I'm sitting at my desk trying to solve a problem.

They actually happen when I'm doing something simple and repetitive.

Maybe it's working in the yard.

Pulling weeds.

Raking leaves.

Driving.

Taking a walk.

Or even just sitting outside with a cup of coffee.

It's almost like those quiet moments create space for something deeper to emerge.

A realization.

A truth.

A feeling.

A perspective I couldn't force, no matter how hard I tried.

For a long time, I thought growth came from adding more.

More information.

More effort.

More productivity.

But you know what I've realized lately?

Sometimes growth comes from creating space.

Space to notice.

Space to feel.

Space to hear what's already there.

So when I say I'm coming home to myself, I don't mean I've arrived somewhere.

I don't mean I've figured everything out.

Far from it.

What I mean is that I'm becoming more present in my own life.

More willing to sit with uncertainty.

More willing to trust myself.

More willing to be with whatever is true in this moment instead of constantly racing toward the next one.

And to me, that feels like freedom.

Maybe life has been inviting you to slow down, too.

Maybe you've been moving so quickly that you haven't had a chance to hear what your own life is trying to tell you.

Maybe the answer you're looking for doesn't actually come from doing more.

Maybe it comes from creating a little space.

A walk.

A quiet drive.

A few minutes sitting outside with your coffee, your tea, or whatever brings you a sense of calm.

Maybe it's an afternoon working in the yard.

Just enough space to listen.

Because your life isn't waiting somewhere in the future.

It's happening right here.

And after all these years, I think I'm finally learning how to be present for it.

I'm dying to know what you think about all of this.

What bubbles up as you're listening?

I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to reach out and let me know.

The thing I want to leave you with is this:

So many things become possible when we slow down, tune in, get a little quieter, and simply be.

Being present.

And if you're looking for a simple way to begin your own reinvention journey, I invite you to download my free guide, 100 Ways to Reinvent Yourself in Midlife.

You'll find the details in the show notes.

And if you enjoyed today's conversation, I'll also link to a few related solo episodes on self-trust, letting go of people-pleasing, and my most recent episode, Midlife Awakening.

They're all good food for thought as you continue noodling on some of these ideas.

Because looking back, I can see they're all part of the same conversation.

One more thing before we wrap up.

I want to tell you about my friend Jackie's podcast, Beyond Retirement.

Whether you're young, in midlife, or already retired, there are so many possibilities for what comes next.

Jacqui has thoughtful conversations that spark creativity and encourage us to think differently about the next chapter of our lives.

I think you'll really enjoy it.

You'll find the details in the show notes.

Thank you so much for listening, y'all.

It was wonderful having you here.

If this episode resonated with you, I hope you'll share it with a friend. Maybe someone who's in a season of seeking, someone who's beginning to wonder what might be possible in their own life.

Because as we lean in and find our way back to ourselves, it opens up so many possibilities.

Until next time...

Keep trusting yourself.

Keep betting on yourself.

And remember, it's never too late to reinvent your life.

And as I always like to say...

Keep shining your light, Rebels.

The world needs you and all that you have to offer.