Fighting to Stay Alive: Stage IV Kidney Failure - The Michael White Story

Join me on a journey that's both heartbreaking and inspiring as I talk with Michael White, a U.S. Army veteran courageously fighting stage four kidney failure. Hear him bare his soul about this challenging ordeal and the impact it's having on his life. Michael’s story is raw, real, and a shining example of the power of human resilience. His hope and determination in the face of such adversity is nothing short of extraordinary.

Michael not only seeks a potential kidney donor but also hopes to inspire, educate, and encourage others who may be walking a similar path. His story is not just of struggle and pain, but also of hope, faith, and the power of support. 

Join me for this compelling episode that underlines the importance of sharing our stories — because sometimes, they can save lives.

Michael's Email/Phone: michaellwhite33@gmail.com/910.587.8276

Transcript

Mario P. Fields: 0:00

Welcome back to unarmor talk podcast. Thank you so much for listening and watching each episode and continue pleased to share with your friends and family members and colleagues, and don't forget to leave a rating or review if you feel this is a awesome show. And you can connect to all of my social media on the parade deck, just look in a show notes or you can put in the search engine Mario P Fields parade deck and get all access To my social media. Well, let's get ready to interview another guest who is willing to remove their armor to help other people. Welcome back to unarmor talk podcast, everyone. If you're listening, I wish I could talk to you as well, but I hope you enjoyed this voice and if you're watching, thank you again for watching these amazing episodes.

Mario P. Fields: 0:52

Today we have another guest willing to remove their armor to have some discussions without armor to help people Gain a better understanding of how emotions can influence the outcome of a situation. But if you think through there, man, tell you guys, everyone, you could potentially increase the outcome in a positive way of Situations while living. We got Michael white. He's a United States Army veteran. I think, michael, you did what? 76 years, 77, 77 years in.

Michael White: 1:22

I wish it's actually 13.

Mario P. Fields: 1:27

Hey, 12 months is enough. My friend with 13 years United States Army veteran y'all know I'm a Marine, so I'm not gonna give him. I got much love for the Army, go soldiers just for this episode and, and if my memory serves me correctly, michael, your dad was a Marine. Right, he's a Marine.

Michael White: 1:47

Yes, superfives.

Mario P. Fields: 1:52

So you guys know the deal. Again, thank you so much for everything you've done for you. The year 2023, amazing year, getting ready this. This will be our last episode this year. Well, of course, nicole and I do a holiday message to close us out, but lots of money raised and went to still serving incorporated. Check out WWW dot, still serving ink comm to look at all the things that your viewership, you sharing this put these episodes, just clicking on a thumbnail or downloading the audio. You are helping us make a difference with these amazing, amazing students and helping us break the poverty cycle, not just in Pitt County but hopefully around the world one day.

Mario P. Fields: 2:33

So let's get right to it everyone. I got an amazing guest today. I don't have an amazing guest. I was fortunate and blessed to be connected with Michael white, but I'll tell you guys up front, very could be a very emotional episode. Michael white was recently, you know, diagnosed with stage for kidney, if you will. Failure and Before we even get into the emotions behind this life challenge, michael, upfront how can people help you at your current state? How can I help you?

Michael White: 3:09

Really easy. Just well big thing is pray for me, because that that's the main thing I'll tell them about just pray for me. The other thing is, if you know anyone that that's willing to be a kidney donor, go to go to your local hospital or kidney bank or what, wherever you want to call them. And Also, if you want to, you can reach me at Michael L white 33 at gmailcom, or you can call me, send me a text 910 587 8276 and Hopefully, hopefully, some progress could be made. And one of things I will tell you that Going through being a kidney donor, of the two most important things that will get you disqualified is hypertension and Diabetes. So those are the two big ones right there. They'll just that will get you disqualified. But other than that, if anybody wants to to bless me with a, with an organ, I will appreciate it and I will welcome you into my family and it's not gonna be one of those. Well, I got organ from you and that's it. I want to stay in touch and we become Bonded as a family.

Mario P. Fields: 4:41

Yeah, and thank you again, man, I know you know, for having the energy and courage to even come on the show today and you guys heard it. Now make sure your, your contact information is in the show notes. But everyone, get together, let's collaborate, work together, share this episode, share the audio, share the video. Let's all come together see if we can find a donor. That's a good match for Michael and United States Army veteran and he's not real quick.

Michael White: 5:09

Oh, real quick, I almost forgot. I'm all positive, so it doesn't, doesn't matter, got it organ site Nice, all positive.

Mario P. Fields: 5:18

That makes it even better. And so let's, let's rally up. Let's rally up around the world. Let's see if we can dumb. You know, get get Michael a good kidney If you will. He's got a lot more work to do on his earth. That's just my belief. Well, let's just get into it. My friend, here it is. My belief is you know your healthy doing some things? All of a sudden, you get this diagnosis. What emotions went through your mind, have been going Through your mind that a lot of folks don't even know you're dealing with when they see you?

Michael White: 5:52

I was at the, believe it or not, I was at work and then, of course, my grandmother passed. So I went to Mississippi, which is like a seven hour drive from where I am, and the whole time I was there I was throwing up and I didn't know what was going on. I thought it was the food that was part taken from the repass and so the whole entire time I was just throwing up, throwing up, throwing up couldn't keep nothing on my stomach and I tried different medications and stuff and it wouldn't. Nothing wouldn't stay. So I drove back from Mississippi, back to Fort Worth, texas, and so while I was at work I was still throwing up and my supervisor why you need to go get checked out, because she thought I had COVID. So I go go to a clinic, do the blood work.

Michael White: 6:53

And I will say the next day, which was that following Tuesday, the doctor was like you need to go, you need to go immediately to the hospital ASAP. And he was talking and I'm like what's going on? He said your GFR, gfr. In basically, long story short, there was some issues with my blood and he said I need to go to the hospital ASAP. So I went to the VA hospital in Dallas. Got checked in, couldn't find out Two things was going wrong. My blood pressure was extremely high. At one point it was like 262 over 155. Oh my goodness.

Michael White: 7:38

And they was like oh my gosh, are you having a stroke? And I was like no, I'm fine, what's going on? And so they was like we got to meet you ASAP. So they put me, they gave me some medication to lower the blood pressure and then that's, and so I didn't know nothing was going on until probably about three days after I got admitted to the hospital and the doctor was like I got some news to share with you your kidneys are no longer performing. And it was both of them.

Mario P. Fields: 8:12

Both of them are just one.

Michael White: 8:14

No, both, wow, both. I'm like what is really going on. He said first of all, your kidneys no longer work, you're below, you're below the 15% of function capability, so you have to start dialysis immediately. And right then, and there it's like everything just crashed. Everything was spiraling out of control and the whole time I'm there, I'm like what is going on? You got to be kidding me, you know. So you tell me. I went from almost having a stroke Because everybody, that's where everybody was thinking I should have stroke, I should have. Just I should have been dead with those numbers. They said nobody, and even the doctor was saying nobody should not come away with those numbers and still alive, right and so. So then they prepared me for the capital or they put in my chest and it was just all I did was just cry and I'm like I cannot believe this. This, this is. This is like why. And so, and, michael, if I may.

Mario P. Fields: 9:30

How many years ago was that? When was this?

Michael White: 9:34

This, believe it or not, this was back in 2021, but the civilian hospital they went and retroactivated my condition back to 2017 because they got access to my VA records.

Mario P. Fields: 9:51

So, and that was signs.

Michael White: 9:53

There were signs of my condition getting worse at that time, but it was never diagnosed properly.

Mario P. Fields: 10:01

Right. So essentially, your kidneys actually started to fail approximately about six years ago. Yes, oh, my goodness. So here you are now.

Michael White: 10:18

Those are hereditary disease that I had, so it jumped from go ahead.

Mario P. Fields: 10:23

So basically, okay.

Michael White: 10:25

So basically it jumped from one generation to the next, and the thing about it was, my eyes was in the advanced stages where, like, even the doctors said, even if they had caught it early, the damages would still been severe because I will still probably end up doing dialysis, but it would have been for a short period of time, and so so it was. Just, it was just a nightmare. So I was in the hospital for like about 14 days and my job at the time was like when are you coming back to work? And I was just telling my supervisor look, I'm trying to survive. I'm not even thinking about work, I'm trying to survive. Something I said when I'm ready to talk, I will tell you. So, upon getting released, it's like thoughts were going through my head like where do I go from here? Where do I go from?

Mario P. Fields: 11:19

here Because I was going to ask you. You know, I believe, michael, a lot of people would experience some major life challenge or just challenges period, and that's how we asked what thought like? What emotions did you experience? How the heck did you think through them, man Well?

Michael White: 11:40

when I went back to work because I was doing a mentor shift for some kids and I was contemplating, like, what do I need to do and keep in mind my job? They cut my hours. Well, they cut my lunch out to where I could go and do dialysis, and it was only for three. It's three hours and so and I'm sitting up here thinking, and I talked to my doctors and they said the best thing we can tell you, you're gonna have to resign from your job. And I'm like, but what about these kids that I'm mentoring? Unfortunately, mr White, if you want to be around for your kids, you're gonna have to resign from your job. So I resigned from my job and I got a lot of flak, negative and positive Right. The negative flag came from the kids because they felt like I was leaving them, like I took them to the promised land and now it's like I can't take you no further.

Michael White: 12:40

And the whole time, thoughts in my mind was like man, you know what? Why don't you just, why don't you just end it all? And that's when suicide started coming in and it was heavy At one point. You know you can't urinate like you supposed to. You can't drink certain fluids, you know you, everything is like restricted. I'm talking about. Imagine one day you go from drinking as much as you can to you can't, you can't. And certain foods that I used to eat, I can't eat those because it's all part of a new diet regime. And the whole time suicide was because being out even more and it was like just end it all, man, end it all. It's not getting better, it's getting worse. And at one point I was praying and I'm like you know, because I'm reading, you know, I read the Bible and I believe so much in like okay, you know God, you can do all this here. And so I prayed, I pray, and it's like God didn't answer my prayers because it's like my condition just stayed the same, it did not improve in nothing.

Michael White: 13:46

And at one point I started listening to suicide, even greater. And so I went to group therapy and I'm like you know what? I can't take this, I can't take this, I'm ready to quit. This doesn't make sense. I'm in the finest shape of my life and everything just spiraling out of control. And so one guy was like just hang on in there, it's going to get better.

Michael White: 14:18

And so then I reached out to Monty and I told Monty look man, I'm at the end of my road, I'm about to drive this vehicle into a lake, into a one of the lakes here in Fort Worth area. And I said I can't do this. Monty was like why are you giving up on yourself? I said, monty, this, this, this condition, is hard, man. It's hard. I can't. I mean, I had to resign from my job. I got a week, six months, before Medicare kicks in so I could have additional income, because my health condition is the reason why I cannot work. And it's like Monty was like just hang on in there, hang on in there. And I stood right there at the lake looking at the water, and I got my foot on the brake. The vehicle's already in drought. I just got to take my foot off the brake, wham right into the water.

Michael White: 15:12

And so then one another close friend reached out to him and he was like man some I'm not going to say what, but something in my spirit told me to reach out to you. It's going to be okay, my brother, hang on in there, hang on in there. This is not what you want to do. And I'm like this is something I want to do. I'm tired man, I'm tired of being the burden, I'm tired of nothing's getting will. And so he was like man, just hang on in there, hang on in there, don't throw away your 13 years. And you got your kids. Don't throw those years away because something's going to come out of this. So I left, I left the lake, went back home and I said, okay, I got my knees, I pray, I say God, I just want to be well, I just want to be well, I want to, I want to be healed. I've refused to believe. You brought me this far and this is my legacy. So, as time went on, I got, I kind of had positive attitude.

Michael White: 16:22

However, suicide, those never went away. It's, they were still there. It's like, just like you try to rub your skin thinking it's going to change color. No, the suicide thoughts, they were still there. The only thing that was different was I didn't give in to him and at this point, speeding up the clock.

Michael White: 16:42

So we come down to this year Around, about that Friday after Mother's Day, my wife says she's going to divorce me, wow. And it's like, wow, you're going to divorce me. And she was like hey, it's everything. Your PTSD, your health condition, all this stuff was a contributing factor. You're not treating me like I'm supposed to be treated. And then here comes suicide thoughts again. Now, now is even even stronger, and I'm talking about like I could hear. I could hear it clearly, like do it, do it, do it. And I'm like you know what.

Michael White: 17:22

And I got, and I was mad and I took myself out of the house and I went to one of the local parks and I sit up there and I yell, I yell, they got. I'm like God. You say you a good, you a good person. Everybody read in the Bible. You blessed them with something. They went through something. They got a blessing out of it. Where is my blessing coming from? Why have you forsaken me? Why have I given so much to a country and yet I can't even get nothing back in return? Why, why? And I'm sitting up here crying and I'm like this is, this is so unfair. And I'm like I served my country. I gave everything, I have everything.

Michael White: 18:08

And I said, and I asked God what did I do to anybody? Who did I wrong? Why? Why am I suffering? Why is it that I'm going through all of this? Why, why, me, why? And I kept asking God why have you forgotten me? Why? Why is it? I'm asking for help. I cannot get help. Why, why, why? And God didn't answer. And I'm like you know what. I'm tired of God. I'm ready to end it. I'm ready to end my life. I'm tired of living. I'm tired. I don't care nothing about being a dad. I don't care nothing. Everything is going wrong, everything.

Michael White: 18:56

And in a brief instance, it's like God, just put me out of my misery. God allowed me to dream. You want to commit suicide. Let me show you what it's going to look like. So in this dream, I was dead. People were crying, my mom was crying, my dad was crying, my sisters, people that I served in the military was crying. It made the news.

Michael White: 19:25

Everybody was like why did he do this? That was the whole backdrop. Why? Where did we feel him? And at one point, my mom was just crying so hard. They had to admit her to the hospital because she was saying why did my son not reach out to me? Why did he not reach out to me? And my dad was like why didn't he reach? Why didn't he just go get help? And that's what everybody was saying. And it got even so deep to where?

Michael White: 19:59

Monty, who you know good well, monty was at the funeral. He was presiding over it. He was like that's my little brother. I don't even know why he didn't reach out to me. I wish I could have helped him. I wish I could have been there for him. So it's going to be okay, I'm going to find somebody, we're going to get your story out there. We're going to see if we can get you help because you got purpose.

Michael White: 20:25

And so the funeral you know, I saw the funeral. Everybody was just asking questions why? And then, of course, because of my faith, there I am, before judgment, god was like just cast him into the lake of Hades and all I'm seeing is my body being thrown over this cliff, going into this lake of fire. Everybody that I saw good, close friends that commit suicide. I saw all of them burning, burning, and I'm like, before I even hit the lake of fire, I woke up and I said you know what, god, you're not going. I know who. I know who you are. I know that you're not like a drive through where I could just put in the blessing. Now I drive around, I get right there, right, I said, god, I'm going to trust you that you know what you're doing.

Michael White: 21:29

I said you know how I feel about this condition. I said, God, if it's possible for Christmas, I don't want no gifts, I don't want no thank you for your service. I don't want none of that. I just want a kidney so I could go back and serve my true purpose. And the whole time I'm like what is my purpose?

Michael White: 21:53

And one of my friends was like dude, how about, excuse me, how about you become a speaker? He said there's people dealing with suicide and I told him the same thing I'm telling you and the rest of your listeners. He said, man, you actually got a chance to go into an area where most people don't come back from. He said man, that's powerful. He said there ain't nothing but God. And so he was like why don't you become a speaker, a motivational speaker? Because somebody needs to hear your story. Like man, I went over here. You don't want to go there. And there's always hope. And while I'm trying to tell your listeners and people that's listening to this podcast, there's hope. My hope is to one day get a kidney and to one day share my story and so people understand. There's hope, there's always hope and that's pretty much it.

Mario P. Fields: 23:00

Well, I'll tell you, michael, you have done that God has blessed Monti Hay and you and put people in your life that we can't even explain, and how we got connected. You and I have talked before this recording and I will tell you you've blessed me, you've inspired me, and that in Monday because this is a Saturday, everyone, this is December 9. I'm going to look at the time here it's December 9, about 5.39 Eastern Standard Time. We're going to publish this on Monday, december the 11. And I believe you've already arrived. In other words, you're going to inspire, motivate In this episode. I believe it's going to help save lives.

Mario P. Fields: 23:49

Michael, I thank you so much for removing your armor. I thank you so much for sharing the power of a belief in faith, the power of asking for help. I mean, you didn't have to call Monti. You sure as heck didn't have to call your other friend, but that was a choice, man, and I'm thankful that I met you, and so I know you're doing great things and I know you have a lot going on, my friend, and you're just amazing. If I have any challenges anywhere near you. I watched this episode multiple times. Is there anything before I let you go and you and I I'll call you, but is there anything else you would like to leave the listeners and?

Michael White: 24:32

viewers, my friend I want to be able to do that. The thing I want to leave behind is Is I want to Fulfill a legacy. As my friend will say, that's incomplete Because, again, having the condition like this, I just want people to know I've been living with a kid for a long time. I've been living with a kid for a long time. One lady says she will give me a kidney, but she's afraid that she might. She might give the disease and stuff, and it was some racial undertones in the midst of what she said. Why One share is this condition? It changes, it does have a negative impact Only if you let a lot with you and I'm sure somebody knows somebody that has, like one of these outreach ministries or our work social platforms, and that's all I want to be used for. I'm not trying to make no money off of my thing where I'm just a guest speaker. I'm making money off of this. No, I want people to hear that I made it.

Michael White: 25:55

It was hard and at the same time, I remain positive and there's people that believe in me, like Monty, who I'll always consider a brother, and then there's a lot of other people that look up to me and the only thing I will say is I just want to do this because I got four kids, and even my girls, and I told them I was going to do this. And my oldest was saying that share your story. Share your story because she said that I want you to be around, I want you to be there when one day, if I decide to have grandkids, I want them to see you. And even the rest of them. They was like dad, you got a lot to offer, but dad, just don't, don't ever let suicide take you away from us, because that's unfair. And I gave my word. I said I'm going to go, I'm going to do as much as I can. I already share my story on Facebook. I kind of edited a little bit because I'm long winded, so I'm sorry about that. No, you're fine.

Michael White: 27:10

The next phase, yeah, but the next phase now is I'm going to try to put some of it on some of the news anchors here in the DFW area, and my mission now is just just looking for a kidney donor so one day people could hear my story, so I could be a blessing to them, just like you have allowed me to be on this platform. So I thank you and others who are listening to this and I just pray that, whoever just looking to your heart, if you feel that you want to do this, go forward. If you feel like you may not be that person, find somebody that wants to, because, again, I want to be a blessing. I don't want to be a birding, I just want to be a blessing so that way I can give back to my sisters and brothers who started on the battlefield, and that's not too much to ask.

Michael White: 28:12

I just, again, pray on it and if you're still unsure with the process and all it is, go to YouTube. They have a lot of videos that show you what, even like what I go through dialysis, paratinal. It shows you what I do on a day to day basis. It's not a good thing, but it's what's keeping me alive for my kids, my faith in God and one day, eventually, a donor. So thank you all Now.

Mario P. Fields: 28:42

Thank you again, michael, love the heck out of you. I will continue to pray for you and continue to help you as well, and just I just thank you so much and you've already done enough as far as inspiring the heck out of me, and I know you're going to do more. But everyone you guys know the deal, do what we can to share this episode. Like Michael said, look in your heart and again, if life is rough and suicide becomes, you know, very real to you, listen to Michael, reach out to people, get help, but don't do that, don't commit suicide. Okay, michael, I love you man and I love the army. Just for this episode, michael, just okay. You know I'll put a smile on your face, but everyone again. We'll see you in 2024 for episodes.

Mario P. Fields: 29:35

Michael and I do a holiday message, but this will be the last show for 2023. It's been a blessing. I pray that everyone is out there being safe and let's see if we can get Michael some help. Michael, love you man. Happy holidays, blue, to my friend and I'll give you a call after this show. Everyone will see in 2024. Until then, take care of God. Bless you, god bless your family members and God bless your friends. Thank you for listening to this most recent episode and remember you can listen and watch all of the previous episodes on my YouTube channel. The best way to connect to me and all of my social media is follow me on the parade deck, that is wwwparade deckcom, or you can click on the link in the show notes. I'll see you guys soon.