Unarmored Talk

Marine Veteran Battles Cancer with Wife

• Jess & James Ash • Episode 130

Share episode

Send us a text

What if life’s toughest challenges could be transformed into hope and inspiration?

Meet James and Jess Ash, a resilient couple who embody strength and compassion. James, a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, channels his upbringing into empowering others through self-defense, while Jess, a physician assistant and adventurer, takes on physical challenges to better understand her patients. Together, they created the Unbroken from the Ashes podcast, blending their love for adventure with a commitment to making a positive impact.

When James was diagnosed with cancer, they faced the news with courage and faith, embracing both traditional and alternative treatments, and making lifestyle changes that aligned with their values. Their journey is a testament to the power of mindset, community, and support. Gratitude became their guiding light, inspiring them to share their story and life lessons with their sons and others facing similar trials.

Join them on their journey to discover how faith, resilience, and a positive outlook can turn life’s darkest moments into opportunities for growth. Tune in and leave with a renewed sense of hope and purpose.

Guest Links:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@UnbrokenFromtheAshes
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558352377130


Support the show


Speaker 1:

Welcome back to Unarmored Talk Podcast. Thank you so much for listening and watching each episode and continue, please, to share with your friends and family members and colleagues, and don't forget to leave a rating or review if you feel this is an awesome show. And you can connect to all of my social media on the Parade Deck Just look in the show notes. Media on the parade deck just look in the show notes. Or you can put in the search engine Mario P Fields parade deck and get all access to my social media. Well, let's get ready to interview another guest who is willing to remove their armor to help other people. Welcome back to the Unarmored Talk podcast. Everyone, my name is Mario P Fields. I am your host for the first time listeners and viewers and for those who are coming back for another episode. Thank you so much for supporting over all of these years. If you are the first time listener, viewers, please get on Apple, spotify or whatever is your favorite audio platform and check out some of the other 130 plus guests who were willing to remove their armor and talk about an emotional thing Could be whatever promotion in your job or anything as human beings, and how those emotions ran through their bodies, if you will, and how did they think through them to improve the situation or the outcome of that situation? And also, in closing, for my remarks. Thank you, guys for the 1.3 million plus views on my YouTube channel and the thousands of downloads on the audio platform. You've generated hundreds of dollars that supports my nonprofit that's still serving incorporated. Once you guys watch this episode, I would have posted a most recent check donation for about $7,000 to one of our schools this year and another one's coming up for another $7,000 to our other schools. So thank you everyone for helping me make a difference in Pitt County, north Carolina. And, last but not least, my heart and prayers goes out to those families impacted by this most recent catastrophic disaster. I know that prayers cannot take away those who have lost loved ones, but I will continue to pray for understanding and support as those folks you know who have been impacted grieve. And then our first responders, military personnel and leaders who are trying to make a difference and improve this humanitarian assistance and disaster relief in our own country and that is the United States of America. If you are in the United States of America or you love this country and you're listening to this podcast, god bless everyone.

Speaker 1:

All right, the remarks are done. Admin is over. Now let's get to the amazing guest. He's handsome, she's beautiful. James and Jess Ash everyone. James is a United States Marine Corps veteran, is a United States Marine Corps veteran. He's also got 20 plus years as a first responder in that industry that helps people and makes a difference in communities. And then Jess, she's a physician assistant and she has dedicated her entire life to helping people, not just in the medical field but around the world. I'll let them get a chance to tell you guys a little bit more about themselves. Welcome to the show, jess. Thank you so much, mario.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, great to see you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, one last thing they are the founders and producers and hosts of their own podcast. It's Unbroken, right Unbroken.

Speaker 3:

That's right, unbroken from the ashes ashes from the ashes.

Speaker 1:

I don't want to say the other word. Everyone needed some help there. What's up everybody? What's going on, you guys?

Speaker 3:

mario, thank you so much for having us on man.

Speaker 1:

We're honored no, thank, no, thank you. I mean, we'll get right in to the topic here in a minute, but but can you both just share a little bit about yourselves? Sure, jessie, go ahead, oh sure.

Speaker 3:

Put me on the spot.

Speaker 2:

Oh, thank you, You're so kind.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So a little bit about me.

Speaker 2:

Like you said, I'm a physician assistant, so I've always worked in medicine, but I've also dedicated my life to helping other people who are in need, and some of those ways have been through fundraisers.

Speaker 2:

For example, I've climbed some mountains several times to go into high altitude and give myself a disease called pulmonary hypertension.

Speaker 2:

You get it with altitude sickness and when you come back down it goes away. But my patients have this disease and it is a progressive fatal disease and it's a rare disease and you know it's doing these, these types of adventures and I'm an adventurer at heart anyway but doing these actually gives me the opportunity to experience the same symptoms that they have, like getting shorter breath, tying my shoes, and in fact I'm here with some fighter braids because, not because I'm going to fight, but because I'm leaving for Mount Everest in these 36 hours and I'm going to hike to Everest Base Camp and I'm doing it as a fundraiser for Team Phenomenal Hope, and they paired me with a patient and the project is called Let Me Be your Lungs, so I'm going to be her lungs and she's a 21-year-old woman who is very, very sick, and so I'll be, in essence, bringing her up the mountain with me on her behalf and doing some fundraising for her. So that's a little bit about me, and so now you.

Speaker 3:

I'm just a guy, I'm just a dude. So I spent about six years in the Marines. My first four years I was over at Lejeune. I got out in 05, got recalled back in for the surge, was in Fallujah for about nine months, happy to be home, and since then I've essentially been in law enforcement or working as a first responder in some capacity. I've taught firearms and defensive tactics since about 2004. And that's part of how I like to help others too. I grew up in a really violent and tumultuous home and I like giving people claws and teeth to be able to fight back against the wolves that may visit them in their lives. So I try to give and pass on my skills to others. And I'm also an adventurer. Jess and I met training to climb Mount Rainier and on all those training hikes we kind of got to know each other, fell in love, and that was eight years ago. And here we are now.

Speaker 1:

And you guys are an amazing couple and two humanitarians. I mean, you know, first, jess, you know, let me be your lungs. Is that what it's called? Let me be your lungs, yes. And you know, let me be your lungs, is that what it's called? Let me be your lungs, yes. And that that that's a that's personal to me. My younger brother had passed away years ago because of his lungs disease, that that took his lungs away, and he passed away for that, from that, and so I applaud you for even doing that. And then for you, james, you know, welcome home from Fallujah. That was some tough times and you got recalled.

Speaker 3:

Yeah yeah. I was at home making pancakes, had a nice little beard going, got a knock on the door. Fedex lady threw me this package, walked away before I could say thank you.

Speaker 1:

I opened it up and it said hey, we missed you, we can't live without you. Welcome back, man, and for you to just to continue to dedicate your life as a, as a law enforcement officer and and more, which brings me to the topic, you two. From my basic understanding, and even from listening to your um, your introduction is you've dedicated your life to helping those who need help, those who have received some news, or maybe some rare disorders, some rare disease that like, why me? Yeah, but recently it hit your home, and particularly both of you, in a different way. Can we talk about the news? Yeah, man, now you guys are dealing with something For sure.

Speaker 3:

So over the last year and a half two years, I've been having some GI problems, and so we were doing a workup to see what was going on. Multiple doctors couldn't figure it out. Multiple doctors couldn't figure it out, and they did this blood test where they look at a deep dive of my white blood cells and figure out what's going on inside there, because it looked a little bit off. And the doc said, hey, you know, if your white blood cells are off, that can affect your gut, because your immune system is tied to your gut. And I got my labs back and my white blood cells were all crazy. And so I was like, oh cool, we figured it out, this is awesome.

Speaker 3:

And so Jess was out of town for work. I did a screenshot of my lab results, sent it over to her and said, hey, we got it, we got it nailed down, and you know, we got some hope, figured out what's going on here. Now we can just move on. Well, she didn't respond back to me right away. So, jess, what was that like for you when I sent you those labs?

Speaker 2:

So I was out of town for work and I was getting ready to go out to like for a team dinner and I looked at the screenshot and I knew what it meant. I knew that it, to put it in layman's terms, I knew it meant that he had some type of cancer in his bone marrow and I wasn't sure which one it was gonna end up being Like. Is this a lymphoma, Is this a myeloma? Like? I didn't know that, I just knew he had cancer in his bone marrow and I was out of town, so I't want to tell him that you know over the phone.

Speaker 2:

So I, I ended up responding and I just said it may be more than you're thinking. And uh, and I was wrecked and I called my boss and I said I'm not going to dinner. I, I, I cried all evening and all the next day because I knew everything we had known as our lives was suddenly going to be entirely. There's like everything up to that day and then there's everything after, um, so I waited until uh, about a day and a half later, when I got back home and I sat him down and I explained to him what I thought it meant and and I said you know, maybe I'm wrong, you know, it's not my expertise, this is, you know, this is not my specialty, but maybe this is something else.

Speaker 2:

But we found out within a week that he had multiple myeloma and when I was in school a million years ago, the prognosis was you usually passed away within like six to 12 months and there was really no good therapies back then. But since then there have been a lot of new therapies, there's been a lot of breakthroughs and the average life expectancy is about five to six years and that means some people live longer, some people don't, and James is very young for this diagnosis because it usually affects people who are closer to 70. And for whatever reason, it affected him when he was 41.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so this cancer? It affects my bone marrow, so my immune system is now permanently compromised and it also affects the way my bones regenerate. So all of our tissues have a natural breakdown rebuild cycle. This tells my bones to break down faster than they rebuild. So I have about a dozen large holes through my skeletal system, Um, the largest being in my skull. I've got about an inch and a half diameter hole in my skull, Um, and, and they're everywhere and um, like hundreds of them, yeah, so some.

Speaker 3:

Some is, you know, big as an inch and a half, um, some of them small as, like you know, pinhole, but they're, but they're everywhere. And so, being who I am, you know, I kind of identified myself as I'm the warrior guy, right, I'm the guy who does the combatives. I do really hard, competitive combatives, classes and competitions and things like that, and you know my goal this year was to deadlift 600 pounds. And man, now my spine is entirely compromised, my immune system is compromised and you know I kind of had about a month where I totally lost my identity. I totally lost my identity and I went into you know kind of this like pit of despair for three, four weeks. That's the right word.

Speaker 1:

And it was really hard, man, I tell you. You know, and, jess, when you got the pictures on your phone of the blood results, did you respond through text or did you actually call James?

Speaker 2:

I responded by text because if he heard my voice he would have known and I wouldn't have been able to postpone telling him, and I didn't want him to be alone when he hears this news, yeah, and I knew I was going to be the one to tell him the news before we even got to see a specialist doctor, so I wanted it to be in person and that was a challenge to hold that in. But it was the right thing to wait. So I didn't actually talk to him on the phone, I don't think, until to him on the phone.

Speaker 3:

I don't think. Until I got back home. No, you were radio silent. I just thought you were busy because you go on these trips and you're slammed with work, so I didn't think anything of it. I was like, oh so she's busy and I was an EMT for five years but I don't know how to read lab results like this. That's not my, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

And I love. You know, because I would tell you, jess, for you, I've been married for 3,000 years and what courage and discipline that you have. Again, everyone. You guys know I don't have a low budget here, so I don't have a special budget. You guys know the deal on Armored Talk. Here you guys want to donate, donate five cents, but you know for you to just be able to not call and tell him remarkable, because I know I would have been like hey, babe, and then James, for you to be so positive, you know, for you to.

Speaker 3:

It's a choice, you know it's a choice.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, you know, there's people that get news that they're you know toenails infected and they probably lose it. And and and for you, for you to go, okay, you know what? Hey, you know what? My white blood cells, they're confused. They just need some protein. They need to get to the gym and let's get them back on track. Maybe a little drone starter come in here and it is for both of you to be that strong. And now, here it is.

Speaker 3:

That strength wasn't. It didn't happen in the moment, though.

Speaker 1:

And that's what I was going to bring up. I was going to say you know, here it is. You get this devastating news. You guys had a choice and, of course, there was some turbulence. Like you said, you went for a month of despair and at what point did you both go? Let's start to remove our armor, if you will, and share our journey.

Speaker 3:

remove our armor, if you will, and share our journey. I don't know it wasn't an acute moment, I think it kind of gradually happened.

Speaker 2:

There were probably several stages. Yeah, one of them was revisiting spirituality.

Speaker 1:

What do you mean by that?

Speaker 2:

So we were not going to a church, but we both believe in God and we both believe in Jesus, and I think it's very easy, when you have news like this, to say God, why me, why are you doing this to me? And be angry. And we didn't do that, though. I think what we did was we said no, we need to embrace spirituality more than we have. We've been too lax and have allowed bad interactions with people at a church in the past influence our lax approach to spirituality. So we started to, both individually and together, really start to dig in and, you know, look at like why did we fall away from this and what do? What do we need to do to have a better relationship with Jesus? So, in fact, we met with a pastor and he was shocked because he was exceeding our story and he was expecting us to come in and be angry and really, no, no, that's, that's not why we're here. We're here because we want to find a better environment to, you know, to study our faith and have this better relationship and have a better community.

Speaker 2:

So that was one of the big things, I think early on. The other big things were taking control back. So a big part of this is James. You know he was this warrior. He was a warrior and he was also kind of a leader that a lot of people looked up to and and he lost that identity. So how do you get that identity back? You have to find ways that you can control. There are things you can't and there are things that you can, and one of the things was all right, we need to find the best care from a traditional medicine standpoint.

Speaker 2:

And we went full steam ahead doing that. In fact, we live in Pittsburgh and we started getting care in Little Rock, arkansas of all places, because it happens to be have the biggest multiple myeloma center in the world, and so so we we pursued all that Simultaneously. James decided you know what, I am going to spare no arrows in this fight, and so we started looking at non-traditional things. This guy started taking ice baths and he went on.

Speaker 3:

And that's a big deal, because there was about a year and a half growing up where we didn't have hot water and so we had to take cold showers and cold baths. I've been very averse to cold water, but I had a rumor that this could help the mitochondrial health, and so we started doing things like getting rid of all the plastics in our house and all the things that could be toxic.

Speaker 2:

Right, we changed our diets no processed foods. We did keto for a while, but the most important thing is whole foods. So now we follow pretty much a whole organic food diet. So there's no pesticides on anything, there's no chemicals in anything, and that's really hard to do.

Speaker 3:

But what happened was, I think at one point I talked to somebody I work with and I said hey, this is what's going on. I was actually pulled into my chief's office because he noticed I was down I may be a little depressed. He pulled me into the office, he goes hey, some of the guys are saying you're not acting quite the same, are you okay, are you good? And I told the chief hey, I, I think at this point, at this point, jess had talked to me but I hadn't seen my doctor yet. I was like chief, I think, I got cancer and he was wrecked and he got turned upside down.

Speaker 3:

And once I was officially diagnosed, I confided in somebody else. And they're like dude, I know this cancer doesn't have a cure, but if anyone can beat it, it's you. Outside voice, that person speaking to my heart and reinvigorating that fire that was almost snuffed out from that depression man that I needed that. Then I told somebody else they're like no cancer or no, no cure. Screw that you. You got this. You're gonna beat this like you're the toughest dude I know. You're not gonna going to let cancer take you down. You're not going to get off without a fight, right. And so I kept getting these people speaking this life and to me and this truth into me, and it reinvigorated that fire. And so you know I, you know we, we love Victor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning, and one of the things he says in there is when you know everything has been taken from you, the one true thing that can never be taken from you is how you respond to the situation. And I'm paraphrasing he's like but you always have the opportunity to decide how you respond. And so we grabbed it by the horns and like all right, we are going to decide how we do this.

Speaker 3:

And far before this happened, we had a saying in our home when we would leave for work or our kids would leave for school. Most people say have a great day. To us that is very passive, like you could have a great day, maybe you don't, but it's's very passive. So what we say is make today great, because you, you can decide. It's up to you whether or not you're having a great day, it's all about your perspective. And so we took that and applied it to this. You're like you know what, we're gonna do this and we're gonna make the best of this.

Speaker 3:

And the the one thing that stood out to me the most was have you seen the movie Fight Club? Yeah, yeah, remember when they pull the guy out of the gas station and they hold the gun to the back of his head and they say you know, what did you want to do? And he pulled out his college ID. He's like I wanted to be a vet. And you know the main character goes well, you've got six weeks to be enrolled in the vet school, or I'm going to come and do X, y, z, I've got your address, I've got your ID card, I'm going to come and get you. I'm going to come find out. I'm going to check on you. You've got six weeks, and they let the guy go.

Speaker 3:

And then the alter ego of this character is like man, that was messed up, why'd you do that? And Tyler Durden is like you know what Tomorrow his breakfast is going to taste better than ever it has before, and now he's going to do something with his life. I'm taking that approach with this, you know, I know that my stopwatch is ticking, I know there's a limited time, but guess what there is for every one of us. Every one of us have limited time and tomorrow's never guaranteed. I just happened to be able to take a look up at the clock, you know. I can see, maybe, that my watch is running a little faster than somebody else's.

Speaker 2:

And you have gratitude for that.

Speaker 3:

And I do, because I'm going to take that as a gift that's a wake up call to say you know what? The things in life that don't matter. Get rid of those things, you know, push those aside and embrace what you've got left and make it count.

Speaker 2:

And. I think it's simultaneous to this. We had a community right we didn't even realize how many people cared about us, because we're always giving to other people and man, we people just rallied behind us. People, in fact strangers, who are hunters, would bring us the deer meat they harvested because they, they.

Speaker 2:

They heard that we're trying to eat, you know, organic food yeah, clean, organic food, and, you know, we were just blessed with so many people doing so much for us when we really needed it. And because of the choice we made to embrace this and to have gratitude every day and to have purpose, we decided to start the podcast, and the reason for that was we did not know if, because of the bone disease and the chemotherapy, if James would ever be able to go back to work. We didn't, you know, and all of his skills are centered around combatives or the physical things you know.

Speaker 2:

And so the podcast serves several purposes. The first is it gives him a new purpose, right, and it's something he can do, no matter how, you know, even as this thing progresses, right, when it doesn't progress, but if it does, this is something he can do. This is something he can do. Second, the purpose behind it is archiving these life lessons for our sons. We are creating this archive of those lessons that are very hard to convey to a kid, right, and we both came from really rough backgrounds. We both have lived these full lives and have all these lessons that we want to give. And now we're able to get it out there, and maybe, you know, maybe it doesn't go very far, but maybe it will. And we've started interviewing other people, too, who have, because the question is you've gone through some terrible thing, how did you get unbroken? And that's the, that's the premise of the podcast.

Speaker 3:

And to your point, mario. You know we have lots of people going through that now in the aftermath of this hurricane. A lot of people are getting bad news right now and I think seeing an example of how you can handle it, um, maybe could give someone some hope. And I love what you're doing with your show. You're showing that it's okay to be unarmored, it's okay to be vulnerable, and that was a really hard part about our venture too, because I've always been very private, um, but now, man, we, we put it all out there and you know what it's so freeing, yeah and, and you know, james, I would have never known that you were.

Speaker 1:

You know, even when I met you at the discovery meeting, you were were like Mario. I'm going to be super private I was like man. It's natural for you. You got some God-given talents and you know, just just everyone listeners and viewers, you know you guys heard it. I mean from you know, reconnecting with their faith, self-reflection. They didn't have to do that. And the surprise I just, I just imagined the, the look on the, the pastors or priest face when he's like oh here they come.

Speaker 1:

You guys like no, this is awesome. We just want to reinforce what is taking a positive approach.

Speaker 1:

He was so surprised man to this news and then not being rigid. You know the ice bath, you know. You know I grew up in Michigan and I know it's cold in Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania and up North but not being rigid, saying you know what, I'm going to try this. You know all the way to the community. You know being involved.

Speaker 1:

Guys going out to Little Rock, arkansas you didn't have to do that and I will tell you you're making a bigger impact than you would ever imagine. You will never know, and you know circumstances reveal the character of true people and it reveals characters of folks you didn't know around you. Well, your circumstance has revealed how powerful you two are as a couple, why God, I believe, brought you together eight years ago and in five years of matrimony and while you're doing what you're doing, you're making an amazing difference for your son, family members and folks globally that you would never know and I applaud you you both for that. I would be selfish to keep you on the show. I know Jess has to fly in like six minutes and James, you're amazing. Looking back for the both of you, before I let you guys go, if you could give any advice to anyone or a couple, you know sometimes folks go through things with family members, caretakers. What advice could you give them? Or would you give them looking back?

Speaker 3:

My biggest piece of advice and it may be what you're going to say too, but it's to seek gratitude, no matter how terrible the situation. You need to seek gratitude or at least seek the lesson from the situation you're in, because there's always a lesson and there's always something if you look hard enough to be grateful for, and that by itself can really change your outlook and your, your approach to the situation I, I would agree, I think, every horrible thing that you or I have ever gone through.

Speaker 2:

years later, something became apparent that was like oh, this was the reason I went through that. I went through that because it prepared me for this, or it prepared me to help this person, and I've seen it over and over again help this person. And I've seen it over and over again. So we don't, you know. I guess the advice is don't wallow in victimhood. Have gratitude for what you're going through. You will find a reason for it if you keep the faith.

Speaker 1:

I love it everyone. You guys heard that Look for some lessons. Just find something to be grateful for, no matter what the situation is. You guys heard that Look for some lessons, just find something to be grateful for, no matter what the situation is. You guys are amazing. I know you invoiced me for that amazing tip, so it's pro tips. I will pay you guys next year, but I love you both and everyone. If you guys have not subscribed to their podcast on YouTube and their Facebook, shame on you.

Speaker 1:

Unbroken from the ashes, that's A-S-H-E-S because you know Mario P Fields will screw that up, but it's Unbroken from the Ashes. You guys are wonderful. I love both of you and thank you so much for blessing Unarmored Talk Podcast. Thank you, mario. Good to be here, no worries.

Speaker 1:

Well, everyone, you guys know the deal. If you always watch me, you'll see this, this face in his voice. If you listen to me, you'll just hear the voice, but you will not see the face in a couple of weeks. But until then, I will continue to pray that God blesses you, the listener, viewers, your family members, your friends and all living beings and things around you Until next time. Take care in all living beings and things around you until next time, take care. Thank you for listening to this most recent episode and remember you can listen and watch all of the previous episodes on my YouTube channel. The best way to connect to me and all of my social media is follow me on the parade deck that is wwwparadecom, or you can click on the link in the show notes. I'll see you guys soon.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Mario P. Fields

Host