Unarmored Talk

Why Great Leaders Don’t Push Harder — They Connect Deeper

• Mario P. Fields - Sergeant Major (Ret.) • Episode 161

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What if your greatest leadership move isn’t to push harder — but to connect deeper? 🤝

Retired Army Colonel and executive coach Paul Raggio joins me to unpack the difference between motivation and inspiration, how emotional intelligence fuels trust, and why a leader’s first job is to help others stay self-motivated.

From Desert Storm to the boardroom, Paul shares field-tested lessons on turning blind spots into breakthroughs—including how to use SWOT analysis to plan real continuity, train two levels down, and rehearse leadership handoffs before you need them.

You’ll walk away with practical takeaways:
 ✅ Build trust before giving advice
 ✅ Tailor inspiration to each person’s drive
 ✅ Protect the mission with bench strength
 ✅ Lead with EQ, reflection, and humility

💡 Whether you’re leading a team or scaling a business, this episode delivers a playbook for resilient, people-first leadership.

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Mario P. Fields:

Everyone, welcome back to the Unarmored Talk Podcast. I'm your host, Mario P. Fields, for the first time listener and viewers. Welcome. And again, if you've been with me for the past uh five years, I appreciate your continued support. Today on the Unarmored Talk Podcast, I have a veteran and he's amazing. United States Army. Don't hold it against them. Those Marines out there. I'm not. Retired retired colonel, so I'm going to go ahead and salute him and report. Our troops are present and accounted for, but uh, he's got 26 years of service and uh commanding military police units and more at Fort Bragg. You guys know that is a huge fort in uh beautiful North Carolina. And he's also got an extensive business background. He's a co-owner of One True North Leadership and has over you know overseas eight companies, about 2,000 plus employees, and lots of recognition. But I'm gonna let him tell you all a little bit about yourselves. And before I bring Paul on the virtual stage here, go navy, beat army. Paul, what's up, man?

Paul Raggio:

Well, let's change that around. Uh yeah, just to correction, I'm actually the owner of Five Star Leader Development. I used to own one one true north, and uh then that morphed into Five Star Leader. And so that's been in existence since 2003 or 23, 2023.

Mario P. Fields:

Yeah, wow. That is that that is cool. So what else? What else can can listeners and viewers know about you before we jump into the show to the actual topic?

Paul Raggio:

Uh I grew up in California and went to Santa Clara University on a ROTC scholarship. That's how I got into the Army. And um I got my degree in finance, but I to me that wasn't exciting enough. So I asked the Army, what could I go into that was exciting on an everyday basis? And they said, Well, you ought to be a military police person. And so I uh joined the military police corps, and after four years, the Army came back to me and said, We paid all this money for you to get a finance degree. Now we're gonna send you to Syracuse to get your MBA, and then you're gonna come back as a controller. And I did a tour as that, and in between there, I was doing uh law enforcement work, and and then uh the tour in the Pentagon as a comproller introduced me to Capitol Hill. I had to defend, I worked in the Defense Intelligence Agency as a budget officer and had to defend the Defense Attaches budget before the Senate and House Intel Oversight Committee staff. And so that gave me a lot of exposure to Capitol Hill, and that led to future assignments and eventually had about eight years on Capitol Hill as a legislative liaison for the Department of Defense. And then I commanded at the brigade level military police paratroopers out of Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Retired from that and was recruited by a large government corporation to start a half billion dollar contract, which evolved into starting a company for them, and then that evolved to leading several companies for them, and then retired from that after 14 years. And uh I was in Washington, D.C. at the time and decided to come back to California. My parents were alive at the time, and my siblings were out here, and I was single and came back out to California and said I'm too young to uh just sit and play golf. I want to do something important and passionate and uh and give back to the community. So I started uh an executive coaching uh company at that time and have been doing that since started it right before the pandemic, and then that evolved into uh five-star leader development in 2023.

Mario P. Fields:

Wow, and five-star leader development. And um before I even have this unarmored discussion, and because this is I believe this is going to be super helpful, not just for me, but uh others. Thanks for your continued service. I mean, uh you know, 26 years is already uh one commitment, a life um lifelong commitment to I believe protecting our nation's most precious jewel called freedom. And then for you to make the choice to continue to serve, and um I so I salute you for that. And so let's get into it. One thing that I see uh often is the word inspiration. I notice we have character, purpose, vision, and action, and then inspiration in the five-star leader leader development. How how have you helped people understand the behaviors associated with inspiring people?

Paul Raggio:

What a great question. And and I haven't gotten that a lot because people transpose inspiration with motivation, and you know, as you know, even and I I I was a uh I consider myself partial marine. I went to the Marine Corps Command and Staff College, uh, and all my Marine butt buddies were there, and but you know, we often talk in service language about motivating people, and really motivation is self-derived. I mean, you you have to be motivated to do something. What leaders do is inspire you to be self-motivated. So it's it's really uh understanding emotional intelligence, how do you connect with people, how do you get to what does motivate them, and then trigger that uh behavior to achieve something that would be extraordinary. So the inspirational piece, and it doesn't mean you have to be a cheerleader, a rah-rah. I'm not advocating that, it just means that you have to understand the individual that you're dealing with as a follower and and what will get them motivated to accomplish something, and then you have to inspire them to do that. And it's it's a true focus about making that emotional connection between the leader and the follower.

Mario P. Fields:

And Paul, I love the way you explained the fundamental difference between motivation and inspiration. Um, I believe from my experience of seeing folks in different management positions, that they did not understand the fundamental difference between motivating people and inspiring them. And the key thing I love how you said is you got to get to know people and the emotional intelligence behind that. Um, when you have a coach or someone that maybe you start to see that they really may not be high in the active listening category, or maybe they have low empathy, which is fine, but you start to see that. How do you help them gain a better understanding that maybe they may be lacking in some of those soft skills?

Paul Raggio:

Yeah, there is a great movie with Robert Redford about the horse whisperer. I don't know if you saw that, but uh, you know, he had this magic with any horse and either being able to connect with them or talk to them. And yeah, but it but it was related to the connection, and it's the same with uh an executive coach and a principal, whether it's a CEO or a COO. You know, I've got to work hard first to make the emotional connection. And that emotional connection means that whoever I'm working with has to trust that what I'm doing in terms of developing them is best for them. It's not best for me. And and that they then will translate some of my comments or actions or activities that I induce that would be best for them, and especially when it comes to those that may be low in emotional intelligence. They a lot of times it's a self-awareness. Um, and what we have to do is focus on helping them be self-aware of what their impact is in terms of behavior and actions, and and you know, uh frankly, for some it could be very quickly uh accomplished, and others it takes time. And you know, especially when you uh the older you get and the more routinized you get in your leadership style, you know, it's hard to break. And and yet it does need to be broken. And and that's oftentimes that is where people may get stuck, you know, going to the next or leveling up, is that they become so routinized in a leadership style that they can't break it and get into a new leadership style. And when and if they can, they'll find that their productivity in terms of inspiring their people to do something in terms of accomplishment would be really significant.

Mario P. Fields:

You know, Paul, you you you you're uh listening to you, and thank you. You remind me of and he's not gonna like I said this on this episode, but I was one of those people about seven years ago, and I got this random tech, uh message on LinkedIn from my close friend, Dr. Jerry Washington, and he said, You have you have a critical flaw in the way you think, and and it hurt. So, so the reason why I brought this up because you know, have you ever had a client um that they started to self-reflect, and you mentioned self-awareness, and they said, Man, this sucks. Like this hurts. This is not fun, and and and but but that's part of it.

Paul Raggio:

What do you what's your thoughts on that? Well, I've been at this a while now, so I've gotten a lot of comments, and you know, some of the comments uh uh just obvious comments. Well, why didn't I think of that? Well, because you're you know, you're blocking in some areas, other ones in uh like a light bulb going off. I was doing a SWAT exercise with the CEO the other day, and he got stuck on the threat portion of it. So a SWAT is strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. And it's part of an analysis in terms of your business and where you want to go. And you need the, you know, in generalization, look at those four factors. And so I said, Well, let's look at the threat factors, and he said, Well, the competition's a threat. I said, Competition's not a threat. I mean, every you're gonna compete in the marketplace. I mean, that's so everything can't be a threat in the marketplace. That's part of your operating environment is competition. Now it's how do you beat it? But I said, here is a threat. What happens if something happens to you and your company?

Mario P. Fields:

Right.

Paul Raggio:

And it was like a a light bulb went off. I I said, Well, do you have a succession plan? No. All right, so if you were uh happen to have an accident or something and and not able to come to work for two months, what happens to your company? And and so it's things like that that people, you know, again, we get so involved in today's activities from a business standpoint operationally. Let's fix this today and it's gonna have an impact tomorrow. Well, what about long-term? What does a company look like three years from now? And what's your role in it? What happens if something happens to you? How do you overcome those things? And um, you know, it's uh you know great principles. These and these are all principles learned from the military. I mean, you know this. Uh you know, Sergeant Major, you and I are both uh expendable, right? On a battlefield? We are. We'd like to think we aren't, but guess what? If something happened to you on the battlefield, Sergeant Major, you know what? There's gonna be another non-commissioned officer who's gonna fall in right behind you. You best believe. Same with me. You know, if something happened to me on the battlefield as a colonel, there's gonna be someone who falls in right behind me. Flying them in from Reagan, flying them in from right. The mission's gonna continue. Well, we you know, that was ingrained in us. Yeah, is that you you always have to teach two levels below you, you know. Uh, Marines did the same thing. I always focused on two levels below me and developing them because if something happens in between, they can fleet up. I mean, that's that's what we're looking for. Uh businesses, you know, aren't exposed to that same level of leadership and understanding of leadership. So this gets back to what you were saying. Yes, I I mean it was like a light bulb going off, and those are the fun moments for me is just being able to help them think through, you know, how do you protect and preserve your business? And then watch the light bulbs go off. And I do it generally with just penetrating questions like that. Well, what would what would happen to your company if something happened to you?

Mario P. Fields:

You know, Paul and you just you just remind me of when I was on active duty, uh, especially when I was a regimental sergeant major. Um, I used to tell the sergeant sergeant's major that you we are the least important people in our units, you know, and like these and they were look at me like you're Sergeant Major. And I'm like, yeah, right. And they can fire me and they'll have another, they can put a monkey in a seat, you know. But but but like you were saying, is is you know, let's think layers uh beyond you. And and I and and I love your approach, you know, where it's very calm and where where that CEO in that SWAT analysis at the T, which is the last portion of it, that could be very stressful, very lots of anxiety, lots of stress, you know, maybe some self-doubt and in your approach to I call it metaphorically, get no seatbelt signs, right? Now, I mentioned Dr. Washington. That was one of my moments where it the finger went this way, and it really helped me develop with self-awareness, like you mentioned, and take a deeper look in myself, learn some new things, some challenge, some biases, and then improve. Have you ever have you ever had a moment? I know you've had a few a few moments, but can you think of a moment where it was Paul? Paul, you have a critical flaw in the way you think. Oh, god, yes. Come, Paul, give it to me, man.

Paul Raggio:

Okay, well, it was the worst ass chewing I ever got. And and I thought I was riding high. We it and this was actually during Desert Storm. I was the S3, I was the S3 for the MP Brigade, and uh I I loved my brigade commander, Colonel Larry Brady, and uh just a super guy, and we were planning our movement with the offensive movement, and we had five military police battalions, and so uh my job, of course, was to put together the plan, the op plan for the movement of forces, and um so I did it, and I thought it was perfect. I mean, it it was just uh the my ego didn't escape me. I thought this thing was perfect, and so he said, We're gonna set we were out in the desert too, so in 10 edge. He said, I I want you to brief the uh battalion commanders on their uh roles and responsibilities according to the op order. I went just like this, you know, gave the thumbs up, you got it, boss. I I mean I was hyped up, I was very exercised, this was a big deal, and everything else, and uh gave him one of this, went at the briefing. I was telling those battalion commanders, this is what you're gonna do here, here, and here. He he was emotionally intelligent enough not to chew my ass out in front of him, but he pulled me aside afterwards and he says, Who the hell do you think you are? I I said, What do you mean, sir? I I said, You told me to brief this. He said, I'm the brigade commander, you don't tell battalion commanders anything. I I mean, you can advise him that this is the odd plan, but you were directing them in that meeting. I and I mean oh god, I was just shocked. But uh, did I learn a lesson from that? I absolutely did. That was that may have been my first emotional intelligence lesson lesson I learned is get your shit together before you do something like this and think of who your audience is.

Mario P. Fields:

And uh you got me. Hey y'all, if you guys watching, if you guys are if you're not if you if you listen to this episode, you gotta get on the YouTube channel and watch it. I mean, the whole time Paul is saying that. I'm smiling. He's he's smiling. I can just imagine as imagine as a sergeant major sitting there next to the battalion commander going, Who win the yeah, what the you will, yeah. What was your rank?

Paul Raggio:

I was a major, I was a major at the time. Telling lieutenant colonels, this is what you're going to do. And the brigade commander's sitting right in the room with us. I mean, I the battalion commanders had their staffs with them, their planning staff, the brigade commander was there. I had my staff with me, and uh yeah, I was I was just king of the world directing them here and there until afterwards. Oh man, what a what a uh and I appreciate Larry today, but I mean, just what a great lesson and humility, one, and two in emotional intelligence, knowing your audience, and and I got it wrong that day. But but you know what, Mario? I never got it wrong since.

Mario P. Fields:

That's the that's the point. Do you do you do you reflect and learn new behaviors? Yeah, right. That is Paul. That's one of the funniest. Man, I um my head hurts, man. That is I I can only, you know, I could just imagine you're sitting in a uh I just can't. I dude, I'm just sitting there imagining, sitting there next to my battalion commander, and the major's like, all right, bring it in, team. Team, who is this guy? All right, all right. Here's a deal. This is what you're going to do, and here's the op plan, and this is yeah, and you're gonna do this. And hey, battalion commander, yeah, yeah, major. This oh yeah, well, I can have you on this show forever, but you know the deal, and everyone knows how I roll. I gotta let you go here soon. But wonderful tips. Looking back, looking back on your lifelong journey of a commitment to serve other people. If you had to give yourself one piece of advice before you even started your army uh career, what would you give yourself?

Paul Raggio:

Um you know, tenacity is a it's not an often used word, but uh tenacity sure has uh helped me through difficult uh situations, both you know, whether in the army, on deployment, in combat, or even in business. It's just keeping your head on top of your shoulders and not losing sight of the end state. Those are and and it's so easy, especially today, it's so easy to become distracted with mistruths and um lose sight of what's really important. And and so keeping your focus on just what's really important is what matters. And and I could have done a better job of that in my early years, and uh when I was just very competitive and wanted to win, and it it wasn't so much about the entirety of things. I I think money's important, and I think uh being competitive is also uh very important. But the the real lesson is is just be focused on the the end game and and take care of the little ones. That's uh that was always my uh big thing. Take care of the little ones in the organization because if you do, the little ones will take care of you.

Mario P. Fields:

Well, I love it. Well, everyone again, we have Paul uh Roggio, you know, retired colonel and a lifetime of commitment to serve others. Thank you so much. You guys heard it. I mean, five star leadership development, and we could have talked about all the other components, but you guys see 20 plus minutes on inspiration and the complexities of it. Follow Paul on LinkedIn or where where else where can they find you, Paul, if they want to uh find you and just follow you?

Paul Raggio:

Yeah, just go to five starleaderdevelopment.com. That's my website address, and it's all one word. And there you'll see a lot of prompts there. You can message me or just go to LinkedIn. You'll find me on LinkedIn and you can connect and message however you want to get in touch. And I would love to, you know, especially vets out there that need help, or uh, even if you're a startup vet with a business and looking at some key principles, business principles on how to grow your business. Uh get in touch with me. I'll be glad to help.

Mario P. Fields:

Well, thanks for coming on the show, Barb. I appreciate it. And everyone you guys know to do, I I will continue to pray for you, the listeners, the viewers, family, your friends, and all living beings around you. Take care.

Paul Raggio:

Thanks, Barb.

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