Unarmored Talk

When the Medals, Rank, and Spotlight can’t Hide the Pain

• Mario P. Fields - Sergeant Major (Ret.) • Episode 162

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What happens when the medals, rank, and spotlight can’t hide the pain anymore?

I sit down with Marine Corps Captain and former Team USA bobsled athlete Riley Tejcek to unpack the quiet cost of divorce 💔, the line between grief and depression, and how true forgiveness can free the soul 🙏.

Riley opens up about how success became a shield—how overtraining and perfection masked deeper wounds—and how faith helped her face the loss, move through grief, and rebuild from within. Her turning point came through real forgiveness, not to reconcile, but to reclaim peace.

A powerful talk about faith, resilience, and identity—for anyone who’s ever powered through when their soul needed to slow down. 💪

🎧 Episode Chapters

00:00 – From Indiana Roots to Team USA 🏅
03:55 – Behind the Highlight Reel 🎭
15:20 – The Forgiveness Turning Point 🙏
20:30 – Redemption, Remarriage, and Hope 💫

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Mario P. Fields:

Welcome back to the Unarmored Talk Podcast. I am still your host, Mario P. Fields. I don't even know why I say I'm still your host. It's not like I'm gonna get fired. I the host and producer of my own show. I'm gonna stop saying I'm still your host. But welcome for you first-time listeners and viewers, and for those of you who have not watched or listened to an episode on this podcast. Welcome for the first time. Please continue to subscribe and share. You guys know I do this for charity. And uh so continue to help me make a difference in Pitt County, North Carolina for year number seven and beyond. Well, today I'm honored to sit down with an amazing captain. All right, I'm gonna see if I get her name right. T Jack. I think I got it right. Captain Riley T Jack. I got it, Marine Officer. She's also a team USA Bobsled athlete. So again, I said with, but she is she is and she was a team USA Bobsled athlete. Her story goes beyond medals and ranks, everyone. And we're gonna get into that tonight. But before we dive into it, Riley, welcome to the Unarmor Talk Podcast.

Riley Tejcek:

Mario, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to dive in today with you.

Mario P. Fields:

Nice. And everyone, I'm gonna say it. This is Unarmour Talk. Congratulations. She just got married. How many hours ago?

Riley Tejcek:

Less than a week ago, um, to my incredible now husband. I'm still getting used to say that. Um, prior Marine in the UK Army, or oh my gosh, he's gonna kill me. Uh J Marine uh daddy, so it's awesome.

Mario P. Fields:

That that that congratulations. That is so cool. I mean, I have a permanent hand, so you don't see me blushing, but uh but congrats. So, can you tell the listeners and viewers just a little bit about you?

Riley Tejcek:

Yeah, absolutely. So, just a little bit about my background and history. I was born into a family that had no military background. So, my story really started from my father, who was a professional baseball player, and my mother, who was adopted, grew up with nothing, and made herself into this incredible businesswoman of a boss lady. It was me and my younger sister, who's three years younger than me. And we grew up in a household in Indiana that was revolved around athletics and academics. And that was pushed into us. And then we got to see my mom, who was a full-time working mom, also just excel in male-dominated roles. So that was the imprint my sister and I had at a young age. Um, at 15 years old, I accepted a division one softball scholarship to play softball at George Washington University in DC, which is where the Lord had led me, opened that opportunity. That's where I met a Marine recruiter, which also changed a trajectory of my entire life for the best way possible. And since then, I have been able to play softball four years in college, shift to a brand new sport at the age of 22 of Bobsled, compete for Team USA for five years, just recently announced my retirement, launched a children's book called If You Can Dream It, Be It, won a military pageant, have had some TV appearances, but ultimately just trying to continue to inspire people, especially the next generation, of what's feasible and possible when you work hard, trust in the Lord, and put everything you have into your goals.

Mario P. Fields:

Amen. I mean, and you guys all hear it, I mean, from humble begin beginnings in Indiana. I'm from Michigan, by the way, so it's real cold in that area of the United States of America. And hats off to your mom and your dad. I mean, it's just a history of athletics, but um very positive, Riley. You know, I've been following you on social media, and you guys all heard this very, you know, wonderful journey. But one thing you faced was betrayal, loss of trust. Maybe your identity was shaken, and you had to rebuild yourself. Now, how did you do that? And uh if you can walk us through the strength and resilience behind the scenes that people just don't see when they're when they are betrayed or they lose something close to them. Talk to me.

Riley Tejcek:

Yeah, we're just we're just getting to it, which I love about this podcast. And I think the hard thing is I start off reading all these accolades, and people sometimes may look at people like you and I and just assume that we've been dealt a nice card and we haven't had struggle. And quote unquote, I dare people to use the word, oh, she's lucky. He's lucky, right? Um, they have no idea the amount of heartbreak, the amount of nose and failure that people have gone through. And you're not asking me to be on this podcast and introduce myself with all my failures. We would still be going for a couple hours if I told you every time that I failed. And that's something that I'm really glad we're kicking off. And I just want to state that because again, people will sometimes look at my life, they'll look on Instagram, look at social media, and they see a highlight reel. What they don't always see is, to your point, the the betrayals, the adversity, the no's, the failures that cut deeper than words can describe, and how you've had to overcome that or shape that within your life. And so just full disclosure and just going right into it and being vulnerable, you know, there was something I had gone through a couple of years ago, which I've unfortunately more people know than not, um, which is going through a really tough divorce and what that looks like of navigating that and having your partner and someone that you look towards having a life with forever, and that not working out, both people not holding up their ends of the deal. And what do you do with that? And also when you're in a public sphere, how do people look at you when you're going through that? And how much do you share and how much do you not share? And I'll be the first to say, as a very strong Christian, divorce was never a word that I thought ever was going to touch me in my life. And when it did, there was a lot of feelings that I had that were very deep, words that I can't even describe, of feeling ashamed, of feeling that I failed the Lord, that I failed myself, that I failed the Marines, that I tried to educate on what a right marriage looks like, or taking steps into finding the right partner. Um and that hurt more than I could say, and I didn't show that. And so, again, just another reminder oftentimes that there are people that you don't know their situations that are struggling and they'll put on a good face on the outside, but inside are just breaking. And the first things that I went to when that was happening was flesh-worldly desires, right? I went through the divorce, and instead of, you know, reaching out always to my friends or my people, I just tried to mask it by doing other things. I threw myself into bobsled in the gym, and people are like, Well, that's not a bad thing. You're a Marine, like that's a good thing. And I'm like, actually, it wasn't because that then became my identity. Everything I did was revolving around my sport. I went through my divorce, I found all this out two weeks before I competed in my first ever world championships. Wow. And what I did instead of then was just kind of try to data dump it in the back of my brain and focus everything I had on athletics and my performance and going to the gym. And if I just distracted myself, I wouldn't have to deal and focus on the pain that I had. And again, most people might tell you that's a good thing, surely, but it quickly revolved around my identity being wrapped up in my sport, me putting an immense amount of pressure on me and my sport and how that was going, and unhealthy training habits to where I was working out way too much, I was losing weight, I wasn't sleeping, and it was all because I wasn't able to handle the grief and the loss that really was laying right there. And yeah, whether or not people go through something similar, the the morning of a loss, whether that's to a spouse, to like losing someone from death, right? Or any kind of betrayal by human or man or anything like that, I think the question is, what do you do next? And it's very telling in your trajectory of how you're going to heal from something by what your next steps are. Because the more you do worldly things or things like that and don't focus on your inward healing and address it and have conversation and seek proper therapy of whatever your therapy looks like, you're going to be stuck in a trajectory where you're pushing those feelings off and off and off, and you're actually never going to get better and strive to be where I am now, where I have like blessings that have just continued to pour on me since, and ones that I wouldn't have had if that event didn't happen. But also if I didn't properly heal from that, would I be where I am today?

Mario P. Fields:

You know, Riley, first of all, thank you again, like all the other 150 guests for just having the courage to come on the show and remove your armor. And you mentioned something that I believe is is important is if you if you if you lose a relationship, that's grief. And I don't hear a lot of folks talk about how do you grieve after a divorce. And you mentioned, you know, going to the gym in an unhealthy way, where on the outside everyone's like, Captain, you know, she's a stud, hoorah. And you're going, hell no, I'm trying to get through this turbulence. And then the complexities of when you have, you know, Christianity, when you, you know, and I do too as well, where they talk about the covenant of a marriage, which was God's vision, and and how uh you know, you're supposed to try to work through that. How did you start to realize I'm grieving? I'm not I'm not depressed because depression and grief, grieving are different. And what at what point did you go? I am grieving this loss.

Riley Tejcek:

Yeah, it was from my pastor that really pulled me aside and talked to me because I never thought of it that way either, which is why I try to use that language, that's intentional language of grief, because there was a Riley Compton that existed with a life and a nucleus and a family with a trajectory of what life was going to look like in a past life that I looked like. And that was dead. It was gone. It didn't exist anymore. And for women or for anyone that takes their spouse's last name as well, that changes straight away as well. You have you basically are changing your identity, your names, your credit card, your your camis, like stuff that people don't really think of when maybe it's a male that goes through it. And so it was my pastor that I was like, you know, am I just depressed? Am I am I just overly sad? Right. He's like, no, you're mourning a loss of something, of a vision of a life, and you're having to make all new, a new Riley again. And not that my identity was centered around being this wife and this person, but at the same time, that was not my identity, but really big aspects of my life that I was making decisions on. And so now all of a sudden, when that's taken away, you're like, well, well, well, what do I want as a singular person? Not thinking about someone else, losing family members that I had gained that I was very close with and not having access anymore, friends that I had gained from a couple's perspective and all this stuff. And again, there's just levels of complexity over and over again. And when I looked at it as grieving, I was then able to look at the steps of grief. And that also helped me in my healing as well, realizing okay, there's steps, there's ways. Of course, I'm feeling some days angry. Of course, some days I'm feeling nothing. And other days, like I'm sad and I'm crying, and this will trigger me, but this won't. And um, yeah, there's so much complexity there that I didn't realize, but it's true, that version of me died. And I had to mourn appropriately make changes and arrangements, make arrangements because of it, and find a way to keep moving forward. And the way to do so was properly giving it the right name, properly taking the right steps, and identifying that something did die and I had lost, and I couldn't stay in that place.

Mario P. Fields:

And you know, I love how you talk about being intentional, you know. Listeners and viewers, if you didn't catch it, I mean, she didn't have to go to the pastor, you know, that that's a choice. And and so to have the courage to leverage your network, and in this case, your pastor, uh, to go, okay, I need to schedule some time because the pastor's busy. Y'all, we all know that. You just don't walk into church and pastors right there, and for you to take the initiative to go, okay, pastor, I need some religious Christianity approach. What is going on? And then to understand it is okay to heal and to go and then to go through restoration and last the complexities. A lot of men don't even think about that. Hey, I ain't even thinking about it, and I've been married eight million years, is when you get divorced, it's you know, for women is not just you know the the loss and grief of the the connection, but man, you got the name change. This is like my podcast being named Nicole Fields, yeah. I gotta change it to Mario Jones.

Riley Tejcek:

Wow, and then out as an athlete on Team USA, having this name, having this name, my Marine Corps career. Like, I mean, my my ex and I were married before the basic school. Everyone knew me, my whole military career, as this, and then having to explain that when I wasn't ready or I was going through chains, or my social media change, and all these strangers are like, I don't understand, you know, what's going on, this, that, and the third. So there's just a whole nother level for women, I think, sometimes that people don't understand. You want to understand it if you're not in it, and that creates additional um maybe sadness and brings it up constantly when you're seeing things, you're like, I have to change literally my entire life.

Mario P. Fields:

Yeah, no, I agree. It's a lot more complex. And so now you got this amazing revelation. Pastors helped you. We got to we got into that Bible. We know the deal. That's the blueprint for living. Yeah, if you ain't following the Bible, you should try it out. If you're listening and watching this, trust me. After you follow it for about 30 days, call me. But well, don't call me, just uh send me an email. But but now things are starting to turn. Do you remember the moment where you said that's behind me? Now it's the new me, the restored me, the healed me, where it's healthy, I'm intentional. And now I don't tell, you know what I mean? Like, I don't get dress, I tell the clothes to get on me.

Riley Tejcek:

Yeah, I do. But what I will say about that is there was times when I would kept referring to the old me. I'm like, well, I'm not, I'm not the same as I was. I'm not, I'm not back to my faith where I was. And I was holding myself to the standard. And again, the best advice I got is, well, Riley, you're never gonna be that because your circumstances have changed, you're never gonna be that again. You're gonna be the new you. So stop looking in the past and saying, Well, I used to do this, I was that, I was reading my Bible three times a day, I was in this. That again, that version is is is gone. And you need to focus on the you now and how are you gonna continue to shape and make decisions to set yourself present as the standard. And that's when it hit me, full circle, to your point. It took, it took some time, took a lot more time than I'd like to admit. I think that's the problem with it. But I became okay being who I was and sharing it. But the icing on the cake, and I will tell you this the full moment with God was I was able to actually see my ex-husband. We met up in person um before I was traveling, and it's the first time I've seen him since. And I got to sit down next to him, bought him dinner and said, you know, thanks for being with me. I just want to let you know that I forgive you. The Lord forgives you, and I forgive you. And while I still have love for you as Christ loves you, I'm not in love with you. I'm not going to jump back into a relationship because forgiveness has been given, but I don't hold any resentment towards you. I actually am going to pray that you're able to be the man that you want to be from here on out. And whether you establish a new family, you don't, you know, whatever that looks like, let sin be taken out of your life and that you could continue forward. And it was that day that I was so overwhelmed with so many kinds of emotions in the most positive way of what true forgiveness looked like. And I realized I felt lighter. I realized that it took me a lot to get to that step. But I also realized that forgiveness wasn't for him, it was for me.

Mario P. Fields:

Yeah.

Riley Tejcek:

And I meant it. And I am the first one to tell people this. Don't tell someone you forgive them when especially they've hurt in your life if you haven't forgiven them. Take the appropriate steps. It outlines it in the Bible, but take the appropriate steps to truly look what forgiveness looks like. Because how dare you ask Christ to forgive you of your sins, but you're not willing to forgive others of the wrongdoings that they have done to you when you do the exact same wrongdoings, if not sometimes worse, to other people or to the Lord. And I had to really do a lot of heavy digging into forgiveness. But to answer your question, it was that day that I was able to then turn that corner. I I had given him forgiveness. I had stated it. It looks different for everybody. I'm not saying you have to meet with that person or have that conversation, but from there on out, I was able to carry my life. I was able to talk about my divorce in a way that I want to heal and help people with my testimony. It's something that the Lord gave me. I knew redemption was coming. And I knew that attacking it head on and doing it in a biblical way can help amplify my testimony that the Lord has given me to bring others to him because there are too many people that have gone through divorce and feel like they're not worthy of Christ because I felt that. And I wanted to remind people that they are, and our God is a good God that can turn every single circumstance for good.

Mario P. Fields:

Hey man, you guys heard it. It wasn't the weights. I mean, it wasn't going to the gym from two in the morning to four in the afternoon, it wasn't her bench pressing 315 pounds, or y'all know I exaggerate, but uh, I wish it was forgiveness, and I love how you said forgiveness wasn't for him, it was for me, and that was the turning point for Riley. Riley, looking back, if you could give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?

Riley Tejcek:

Yeah, I think the one piece of advice that I would give myself is to be very cautious of who you let in your inner circle to give you advice in your time of your most vulnerable state. When you are vulnerable and you are hurting and you are healing, you're not in the always the right mental frame to filter advice that's given to you. And there's a lot of people with opinions when you go through things. There's a lot of people who want to help and share their experiences, but fact-check your sources and ask yourself are they people that I would emulate in my life? Do I want their relationship? Is their advice valid? Because an often thing that we do in society is when you get back down, you just get right back up, right? Rub some dirt on it, keep going. And that advice is not gonna work when things are brutally hard and challenging and absolutely break you and shatter you from the inside out. It's not gonna work. You don't just get back up and keep going. And that's what I try to do because that's what I relied on in my training. So be very cautious of your inner circle, your circle of influence when you go through something bad, of the advice that is given and poured into you that you take. Um, and then filter that. If people are saying, hey, you know, Riley, don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal. You'll be all right, you'll get back out there. You know, let's go to the club tomorrow. Let's like rebound, let's get back going. Terrible advice. Terrible advice. But probably in someone's mind, they think they're doing the right thing. They love you, they care for you, right? They're trying to do the best that they can for you, but that's actually not what you what you need. And I wish in the time I maybe would have been a little bit more selective on who I let in that inner circle to help lead me and guide me initially. However, I will say I never say I regret a single thing because the Lord has put everything in a way that it was supposed to for his purpose, for his reason. Um, once I was able to forgive my ex-husband, you know, it was some time after, but I met my current husband. And that same pastor that mentored me just married Danny and I not a couple days ago. And it was that same pastor that brought me to tears as he's giving our sermon of saying how the Lord offers redemption and grace and how he can come full circle and heal and turn all things for good and praise the Lord for it. So there's just so much goodness, but you don't just get it right away. You don't get it quickly, and it's not on your timing. So the best thing that you can do is follow the right steps and seek proper advice so you don't elongate the process because where I'm living right now is in an incredible place where I get to engage in marriage again and praise the Lord for a second chance, and praise the Lord for the man that He has given me today.

Mario P. Fields:

Yeah, well, tell Danny, Mario Pierre Phil said hello. And you guys heard a lot of wonderful tips. The key things is the mind power of the mindset, uh, the power of how you think. That's why that's relevant to this show. And uh, and then of course, not giving up and leaning on your faith. Uh, leaning on your faith, and um, and this is the wisdom, Riley, that you shared tonight. There's no university of wisdom, so I don't care how smart you are, everyone. Uh this is some wisdom, and you can't put a price tag on wisdom. Riley, thank you so much for being on the show tonight. I truly appreciate you. You've been a blessing to me in the show, and we just uh we honor your your service. Happy 250th birthday, by the way, there, Maureen.

Riley Tejcek:

Yeah. Just last thing I want to say to this. If anyone's listening to this and going through something, um, please know that I am a resource. I am more than happy to help, whether you reach out to me, LinkedIn, social media, through Mario, however you all want to do it. Um, if anyone is going through something or something similar or um anything along those lines, I am here as a resource. I want to help. Um, the very least I can do is to pray for you. So please reach out to me. Um, you have an ally and a friend in me, and I want to help get you through it.

Mario P. Fields:

Cool. Well, the the uh links, uh Riley's uh social media links will be in the show notes. But until next time, everyone, I will continue to pray for you, the listeners and viewers, your family, and your friends. And more importantly, those living beings. Well, not more importantly, but I always pray for the dogs and cats, man. They are part of our family too. So I pray for the living beings around you. Until next episode, guys, be safe out there. Thanks, Riley.

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