One DUI. Two Injured Teens. A Journey to Redemption | Beth Abbott

A single choice can change a life — but so can the choices that follow.

Beth Abbott returns to Unarmored Talk to share the truth behind a DUI that injured two teens, cost her a frocked promotion, and forced a painful reckoning with addiction, leadership, and identity.

From volunteering to begin her jail sentence immediately, to finding purpose behind bars, to rebuilding through sobriety and accountability, this episode explores public failure, forgiveness, and the long road to redemption.

If you’re interested in resilience, recovery, and what it really means to lead after a very public mistake, this conversation delivers hard-earned insight and real hope.

Listen. Share it. And if it moves you, subscribe so more people can find these unarmored truths.

⏱ Chapters

00:00 – Welcome Back and New Mission
00:51 – Reframing the DUI and Sobriety
02:30 – Charges, Jail Scare, and Support
04:50 – Rank Loss and Therapy Breakthrough
06:32 – Making Amends With Injured Families
08:50 – Volunteering for Jail Time
10:56 – Finding Purpose Behind Bars
13:35 – Sentencing and Probation Terms
16:05 – Living Sober and Self-Acceptance
19:05 – Release Day and Unexpected Grace
21:20 – Identity, Waiting, and Resilience

Transcript

Welcome Back And New Mission

Mario P. Fields 0:04

Beth Abbott first joined me approximately about two years ago and shared openly about her DUI in Stafford, Virginia, and uh a moment that challenged her career, her leadership, and her identity. But she's back on the Unarmored Talk podcast. And uh she's gonna talk about what happened since then, some rebuilding, some lessons learned, and uh what growth, you know, growth looks like after a public setback. Beth Abbott, welcome back to the Unarmored Talk Podcast.

Reframing The DUI And Sobriety

Charges, Jail Scare, And Support

Beth Abbott 0:35

Yeah, hey, thanks a lot. I appreciate it. And honored to be back on and uh and just talk and sort of give some clarity to the audience uh and some you know, more clarity to me, because it's always good to talk about it. So um let's dispel, I guess, some rumors, right? Like what happened to me. Uh first and foremost, I will say it didn't happen to me, it happened for me. You'll hear me say that a lot. Um, and there's been so much growth through all of this. Um and in fact, I'll start off with this too. Today I am 1,000 days sober. So uh May 31st of 2026 will be three years. Wow. Um, you know, the best self-love and self-care I ever gave myself was when I broke up with alcohol. Um so let's go back to May 31st, 2023. Um DUI. I injured two 14-year-old kids, went to jail, got out of jail, uh, was out for about a day, went back to jail because of uh suspected um controlled substance, which was Tylenol in my vehicle. Um and, you know, that got found that obviously it was Tylenol, got back out of jail. Um, and then, you know, the flash to bang of like the resiliency piece of how do I continue? I'm still an active duty marine. How do I continue being a Marine, but go through all this hardship and continue to keep myself alive because I wanted to give up. And I said that on the previous podcast of like, you know, about seven months straight, I just wanted to kill myself. Like it was hard for me to be in my own house alone. Um, I thank God for my real family members and friends that love me unconditionally. They love me at my lowest, they love me at my highest, and they were there for me, texting me and calling me throughout the day, checking on me. Um, and I had an amazing support system. I mean, uh, thank God for a good command team and leadership um, you know, that got me through all this. But but people are wondering like what really happened to me. Um, yeah, you know, rightfully so stripped of of the rank of sergeant major because I wasn't promoted yet. I was frocked. Uh, you know, so I put my first sergeant chevron's back on. And um, you know, the exact words from my commander were um, you know, this doesn't didn't happen to you, it happened for you. And he said, uh stay the course and trust the process. And I used to wake up and say that every single day. You know, I I said on the previous one that I was able to go to Lower Ridge Treatment Center, which which that's the first time I ever talked about trauma or combat trauma or depression or anything that I ever needed to talk about, I talked to a therapist about, which was phenomenal. Right. And then I'm like, man, how do I volunteer to go to jail? Because I know I'm gonna have to serve time. I have a family. I need to, you know, and then I'm still an act duty marine. How do I, how do I start this? And my lawyer's like, hey, Beth, no one volunteers to go to jail. And I said, Well, no one's not just me. I need to go. Yeah. Um, so previous to me doing that and figuring out that piece, I was able to sit down and meet with some of the family members uh that I had harmed and ask, uh apologize, and they forgave me. And it was like a moment of clarity and a moment from, you know, definitely the good man upstairs bringing two families together. We're friends to this day. We text, uh, we go to each other's houses, not all the time, but like we've been to each other's houses. We've made, you know, birthday parties and cookies and just and just stuff. And it's just we've built a connection of forgiveness.

Mario P. Fields 4:01

You you know, Beth, and I'm I'm glad you brought that up. I know the last episode wasn't really focused on your DUI. Uh, we talked about other things, you know. But I did see some comments. Uh, you know, oh, it seems like Beth is all about herself and you know, she's selfish. What about the people injured? It you and I have had numerous conversations off the air. Beth is very devastated, you know. Of course, I just read the comments, and now so again, and I replied saying, No, she's very devastated. This episode wasn't about that. Um, so so good that you you you you sharing sharing with the audience that you didn't have to do that, you didn't have to take those steps to right. You know, that's tough. You hurt them, you know. So thank you. Good on you.

Rank Loss And Therapy Breakthrough

Beth Abbott 4:45

Yeah, and I think I mean it's a huge that's how I was raised, right? You do something wrong, you say you're sorry. Um, you know, and it and that's probably one of the hardest things that I had to do was know that I selfishly did something, uh, and I harmed an innocent human being, two of them to be exact. Uh one, the other uh person that I injured um through a text I know said that she had forgiven me and that she prays for me, which is great. Um, but we weren't able to meet, and that's okay. Maybe down the road we can, and that's that's okay too. And I know in the previous podcast, and I want to clarify that too, that I had said you you had asked a question, and I think I worded it wrong. Like there's there's definitely been harder, harder things that you've been through, but not at the time. So at the time, previous to May 31st of 2023, the hardest thing I had done was come out to my family that I was gay, right? When I was 28 years old. Since then, obviously, this being the hardest thing of May 31st of 2023, right? Of selfishly drinking and driving and injuring two people. Um, so then so then let's let's let's fast forward how how did I get to jail? So June 14th, I go to jail or I go to court and I ask the judge, uh, can I go to jail? Like, can I revoke my bond? Can I do all this stuff? And he's like, To be clear, you're volunteering to do this. I said, Yes, sir, let's go.

Mario P. Fields 6:05

Wow, like I need to so let me let me just make sure I get this accurate. You didn't have to go to jail. I want to make sure everyone gets this. So at the time, it's not like they were going, you are going to jail, right? You could have been free on bond and whatever, but you said, nope, I want to do some time. I want to wow.

Making Amends With Injured Families

Volunteering For Jail Time

Beth Abbott 6:29

I knew I knew I was gonna have to serve time. I just it was gonna be months before I could do that, and they could actually, you know, charge me, do all set, you know, sentence me and do all this stuff because that's just how the system works. It was a process, right? And I was like, I just want to go and start it. Like, let's that's good. I need to. And I knew in the back of my head, even going to jail as scary as that is, and it was, that I could find purpose in jail. And that's exactly what I found, right? I found more of who I am, and I found more purpose in jail as to lead and serve other women that, you know, in my eyes and with me, that we all needed help. We all needed structure, we all needed guidance. And it was, I was able to do that there. Um, so June 14th, I, you know, in front of all my family, they all flew out in front of my friends. I mean, the courtroom was packed. I got handcuffed and taken to jail or taken, you know, back behind the door and then to jail that night. And I and I stayed there. And I said, man, how can I, you know, the the words that I use, you know, from, you know, I'll give him credit, Captain Campbell, Jerigen Campbell, he says, uh, turn a mess into a message. And I absolutely love that. And it's like, well, how can I make this better? And I think that's been, and anyone that knows me knows this about me. I always see the silver lining in everything. I could be in the craziest, horrible situations, and I still got a smile on my face. And like, how do you make it a positive message? And how do you inspire others to just get through the day? But I need that too, and that's why I do it. You know, so uh I was in jail for 65 days. I was able to volunteer to be a trustee to work, to get moved to a me with a whole group of other women that I don't know, um, to be able to work, be part of the making the food and working in the in the jail. And, you know, I'm in there with people that I've never been privy to that type of people in in society before, um drug addicts, uh, murderers, thieves. Um and at the end of the day, the common bond that we have is we're human beings. Some of us made mistakes and some of us made a choice and have been making the same choices uh, you know, repetitively in the repeat offenders. But at the end of the day, we're all human beings, we're all women in that in that pod, right? So how can I how can I make that better? So I ended up starting uh jailhouse boot camp and we worked out every day. We didn't have no weights or anything, we just did free body weights, and I thought, well, man, maybe I can teach them something and they can teach me something. And I had a whole group of women that would join me every day. Um, and we would say out loud what we're grateful for. So fast forward to August 9th of uh 2024. Um, I had my sentencing hearing. Um, my entire family flew down, friends, other family members from other states, um, you know, everyone. The courtroom was packed yet again. Um, and I was sentenced to 10 years in prison, suspended, 90 days in jail, which I had served um 55% of already that I had already served, um five years on probation, um, revoked license in the state of Virginia. Um you know, and that that's hard to hear, but it's exactly what I deserved. In fact, in my eyes, for me, Beth Abbott, I deserved worse. I deserved more. I deserved, you know, I'm my own worst critic. I deserved all of it.

Mario P. Fields 9:56

Um Beth, if I may, when when they say 10 years in prison suspended, what does that mean?

Beth Abbott 10:04

That means um that that was my what they what the judge sentenced me to and they suspended it, and I'm on probation for five years.

Mario P. Fields 10:15

Okay.

Beth Abbott 10:15

Um, so if I break or violate probation, I automatically get sent to prison.

Mario P. Fields 10:20

That's what I wow. Wow.

Finding Purpose Behind Bars

Sentencing And Probation Terms

Beth Abbott 10:23

So um, you know, it's it's one of those things that for me, rightfully so, it's like it's hanging over your head, so don't mess up. But for me, I didn't need that, don't mess up. Right. I knew I knew for me, for Beth Abbott, I wasn't gonna mess up. You know, that alcohol had been taken out of my life because it's a choice that I made. Um and I'm happy about that. I'm happy I don't have to gamble with that anymore or wonder when I'm gonna have my next drink, or do I need to calm down and after work have a drink? Like I don't need to do any of that anymore. My life is I'm I've never been at peace and loved myself so much in my entire life as I do right now. Yeah. Right. And that's that says a lot. And I'm almost 42 years old. Um, and I have two amazing, beautiful kids, and I'm I'm just going through my second divorce, right? So a lot of contributing factors to a lot of um, you know, mess ups in life or or things that went wrong, but like, how do you how do you get through them and make them right? So that was August 9th sentencing. So August 12th, um I got released from jail. And I remember walking out of uh putting my I had my really nice fancy clothes on that I went to jail in, and I put them back on and I walked out the doors and I just started bawling, you know, and I'd only been in there for 65 days. I mean, these some of these women, they're just used to it and they've been in there for years. And and I can continue to think to myself, like, you know, you just control your mind like of anything, right? Like, um I've been in way worse places for way longer with way less, but this is this is different. This is something I did personally. You know, I feel guilt, I feel shame. How do I rebuild that? Um so I get out and in the parking lot, you know, my my wife at the time is there to pick me up. And the family, one of the families that I, you know, that I injured, the boy that I injured, he, his mom, and his sister are waiting for me to greet me in in the parking lot. And and how does that happen? Like, that's amazing. And they kept in contact with me every day while I was in jail because they saw something in me. They had forgiveness in me. Like, that's that doesn't happen. That's just they're phenomenal people, right? Yeah. So then what does the aftermath look like after after jail? You know, I went home and sort of had to sit with myself of who am I now? Like, I know I'm still a marine, I'll always be a marine. No one can take that from me. Right. Um, you know, you go to work, you work for a few hours, but you're not in charge of any Marines. So then the mental health aspect comes in again. So I immediately get myself into therapy again. I try to stay busy, I continue on a routine. But the resiliency piece is really what I guess I mean that word is everything to me. And like, how do how do how do you make it whole again? How do you make how do you make yourself better again? How do you make yourself see self-worth and have purpose again? And then you're just sitting there waiting. And anyone that's I'll speak specifically for the Marine Corps, anyone that's ever been in trouble for the Marine Corps, whether you did it or didn't do it, the hardest part in my opinion is the sitting and waiting of the unknown. And I, you know, I had I'd been sitting there for it, had been what 2023 had been almost two years since since I did retire from the Marine Corps, right in 2025. So it's like, man, all the unknowns, but you know, I had a some great leaders that said, Beth, if you lost everything today in the Marine Corps and they, you know, busted you down to Lance Corporal and just kicked you out on the street and whatever service code they gave you, other other than honorable, dishonorable, or whatever, would you still be able to to find fulfillment, to have a purpose, and to love yourself? And I said, yes, without alcohol. They said, then you're gonna be fine. I yeah, you're right. And in that moment, I'm like, I don't need anything. I already have everything I've ever needed and wanted. It's just me and to love me and to know who I am, right? And I think that was the biggest piece. But how do I how do I turn that, you know, flip that and help other people, right? Because my struggles, you know, Brene Brown said it, uh, Mel Raman said it, like our struggles, our trials or tribulations, our pain, um, become someone else's survival guide one day. And if I hit home to one person, and and specifically right now, whoever's watching this, if I hit home to one person, then I did my job as a human being, right? As a leader, as a person. Um, and that's powerful.

Mario P. Fields 14:59

Yeah.

Beth Abbott 14:59

And I thank God every day that I was able to be that person because I still get the phone calls. You know what I mean?

Mario P. Fields 15:06

Yeah, well, I would tell you, Beth, you did that for me. Um, you know, this is the second episode, and and just the power of an addiction, and it could be any addiction to food, alcohol all the way down. You mentioned um how you realized that that relationship metaphorically with alcohol caused a lot of pain and damage. Looking back, when do you believe that the addiction started? And if you had a chance to make a different decision, what would it have been back then?

Living Sober And Self-Acceptance

Beth Abbott 15:48

I think where I really got reckless with alcohol was when I joined the Marine Corps. Um, when I and it's 100% my fault, it has nothing to do with the Marine Corps or commands or anything like that. Like um it was like a natural thing that we did, um, that you worked hard, whatever you had to do in your duties, and you go back to the barracks and you drink, or you go out to the bar and you drink. Like, I think what really pinpointed it for me that I can remember, and I and I remember exactly where I was standing when I when I felt what I felt was we got back from Fallujah, Iraq, back to um Camp Hansen, Okinawa, Japan. I remember walking out of the motor pool after working all day. I was then a corporal. Um and I thought, man, that's it. I'm just gonna go back to the barracks room and I'm gonna drink. And that that and that became a repetitive piece of my life. And that's all I did. And yes, was it fun? Yes, did we have fun? Yes, did we do crazy stuff? Absolutely, but that was it, and the money and the time spent and wasted on on for what? Right? Like, and then I think as I grew, and and I think for me, as I grew and was able to hide it better, um, it became just a normal part of my life. And it became, oh man, I'm having a bad day. Oh, after work I'll have a couple drinks. Uh, oh man, I got some bad news. Oh, I'll have a couple drinks. It was an excuse for every single thing that was going on in life. Oh, someone's having a birthday, oh, we gotta have a couple drinks. Anything that was good or bad, the ripple effect after what that was, let's have some drinks. You know, and those drinks most nights led to a few more drinks and a few more drinks around the weekends when I didn't have to work, it was more drinks. But let's be honest, like what if a Marine called me and he need he or she needed me and I had to go somewhere, I couldn't drive there. Right. You know, but let's be honest, I did. I did drive there. I would have a few drinks and I would drive. Like I'd been doing it since I was 16 years old. You know? So two or three or four drinks, I could justify it in my mind. Oh, I'm good, I can drive. Yeah, no, I was lying to myself. I was a hypocrite and I was lying to the Marines that I was leading.

Release Day And Unexpected Grace

Mario P. Fields 18:15

Wow. Well, uh, you know, I'll tell you, Beth, from taking the initiative to in person make amends with the families and and the the two young folks, um, to to volunteer to say, you know what, I know there's a legal process, I have no idea what my sentence is going to be, but I am not gonna run away from accountability. The third thing is having the curse to come back on the show. I am honored that you would choose me in an armor talk uh podcast. Fourth, your family. Um, just being strong, being by your side. A lot of folks have all of us are not perfect, and we have laps in judgment and mistakes, but not all of us have it when it's in the public, it's in the papers, on social media, and you're just an amazing human. I applaud you, um, I applaud your faith, and um and I can see the difference. If you guys go back to the episode that we did April of 20 uh 24 compared to now, I can see that you're you're at peace and you're doing great things and wonderful things. I would love to hold you on a show forever because you're just an amazing human in my eyes. I will continue to keep you, your family, and those who were injured in that fateful night in my prayers. Um, if you could give yourself or anyone in the audience one piece of advice that they may be struggling with some type of addiction, hell, they might not even know they're struggling with an addiction until what the captain say, make a message out of a mess. What piece of advice could you leave the listeners and viewers who may be struggling with addiction today?

Beth Abbott 19:59

Yeah, I would say um, you know, don't give up on hope. Reach out and talk to someone. That doesn't mean you have to go through the process of getting a therapist or doing this. I mean, the obviously there's a first step is like admitting it, right? But not even that. Just reach out and talk to someone. Be open and honest, like with yourself first and foremost, and then be open and honest with someone else, like a best friend, a family member, someone you love, like and then swallow your pride and let them help you, let people in. Because I tell you what, some of my closest friends, I only let to the surface of me. I didn't let them all the way into me. And I've been doing that my whole life. Right. You know, and I think that is powerful, the powerful, you know, purpose of human connection. I mean, we can all help each other, we can save each other, we can strive to be better people and have a purpose, like, and we can keep each other alive, you know, just reach out. Um, but don't give up on hope. No one's perfect. It's you know, it's it's progress, not perfection. And that that's everything in life, not just AA and alcoholism. It's everything.

Identity, Waiting, And Resilience

Mario P. Fields 21:05

Well, Beth, thank you so much. I appreciate you. And everyone, thank you for your continued support. And uh, like Beth said, which aligns with the show, stay unarmored. Be strategic about it, but stay unarmored, stay authentic and stay mentally fit, everyone. Beth, thank you for coming on the show today.

Beth Abbott 21:24

Yeah, thanks a lot. Appreciate you.

Mario P. Fields 21:26

No worries. God bless everyone. We'll see you in the next episode.

Beth Abbott 21:30

Thank you.