U.S. Army Pilot on Success, Regret, and Purpose

What if success isn’t the right career?

In this Unarmored Talk podcast episode, I sit down with U.S. Army veteran Frank Van Buren, author of Life Lessons from the Cockpit, to explore his journey from flying night missions to Wall Street—and the realization that success alone doesn’t equal fulfillment.

A chance conversation on a beach in Cyprus during the Beirut Air Bridge set everything in motion. It led to business school, a career in finance, and ultimately a deeper truth: purpose comes from alignment, not just achievement.

Frank breaks down three leadership lessons you can use immediately:

Growth happens in adversity
Fear of regret outweighs fear of failure
Self-awareness reveals your strengths

If you’re navigating transition, leadership, or purpose, this conversation will help you choose meaning over burnout.

👉 What’s one decision you’re making today that your future self will thank you for?

⏱️ Chapters
0:06 – Welcome And Meet Frank
1:24 – Support The Mission
2:19 – Patriotism And Service
4:35 – Night Missions And Turning Point
8:48 – Wall Street And Leadership Shift
12:41 – Three Lessons From The Cockpit
16:46 – Meaning Over Money
20:13 – Talent Alignment And Where To Connect

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Transcript

Mario P. Fields 0:06

Welcome to the Unarmored Talk podcast where we remove the armor, have real conversations, and strengthen how we think and respond to life today, everyone. I am joined by an amazing veteran, United States Army Go Army. His name is Frank Van Buren. And you know, not only did he spend 30 plus years in that finance and banking industry, but I'm gonna tell you guys, we just had a conversation right before I hit record. He's United States Army helicopter pilot. And that's what we're gonna talk about today is that that journey. He's an author, and I'll let him, you know, we'll get into that here in a minute. Um, Frank, welcome to the show.

Frank Van Buren 0:44

It's good to be here, Mario. Thanks for inviting me. Uh, recommended by uh Alice Craig, who is a great American and obviously does so much to connect people. So I'm happy to be here and I watch some of your stuff. I really enjoy your style. We were talking about that authentic uh style. Uh, it fits you well, and uh it's good to be here.

Mario P. Fields 1:06

No, I I appreciate it. Hey, Alice Craig, I think Alice Craig needs to put a net 365 on the invoice on uh introducing me to you. It's gonna take me, it's gonna take me a 12-month payment plan, Frank.

Frank Van Buren 1:20

Yeah, that's just don't let them charge you too high of an interest rate.

Mario P. Fields 1:24

Right, right. But be but before we get into to our guests today again, everyone, thank you for watching. If you're on the YouTube channel or listening on the audio, every you guys know the deal. Every time you download an episode on audio or you watch a video on that YouTube channel, I don't even care if it's a penny. You know what? It makes a difference in the world, and we've been doing this over eight years uh with the with the nonprofit. So continue to share, like actually doesn't do anything, so that's just a dopamine hit. But share, watch, if it and subscribe. If you want to, you know, you want to contribute. I have about uh 11 members that on the YouTube channel, they pay like two or three bucks a month, make their uh monthly contributions, all of it goes to charity, and of course, you get uh tax right off for that. Enough about that. Done with the admin plug. Frank, my man, can you tell the listeners and viewers a little bit about yourself before we jump into the topic?

Frank Van Buren 2:19

Well, I always like to start with my foundation background. I was a military brat. Uh, my father served in World War II. So most people have parents, you know, I'm fifty in my late 50s. My father had me when he was 50. So I was the last of many children. He served in World War II uh in a segregated unit. He served in the European theater, and my uncle, uh, who also joined with him, they were seniors and juniors at Howard University. They volunteered for the war effort. My uncle uh volunteered and was killed in the North Africa campaign and is buried in the National Cemetery in Tunisia. So I grew up with this, you know, spirit of something larger than oneself. My mother was a Rosie derivator. And remember, this all occurred at the time when African Americans were considered second-class citizens. They were very patriotic, they wanted to make for a better place. So I grew up with that sense of patriotism, quiet patriotism, no one was white waving flags. I grew up nine of the first 13 years of my life on a U.S. Army installation in Germany. So uh, you know, that being part of something where we had people from all walks of life, we were connected by a common bond, and that was to defend the nation. So I looking back, I think of my childhood, and I say, you know, I was really lucky, born in 1966. Uh I had essentially, you know, a community that wasn't caught up in all of the turmoil of the 60s. I talked to cousins and relatives, and what was going on in Newark, New Jersey, or, you know, DC, et cetera, was quite a bit. So at my foundation, I am a patriot. I love the country, and uh, you know, I want to do what I can, more importantly than the country, but to help my fellow man. I always start off with that because it kind of informed, you know, me going into the military.

Mario P. Fields 4:17

Yeah.

Flying Night Missions And A Beach Turning Point

Wall Street Career And Leadership Shift

Frank Van Buren 4:17

Uh so I went to college, played college football, joined ROTC, uh, and then uh eventually made my way to U.S. Army flight training uh and did that and and loved being, I was a warrant officer flying helicopters. Uh and I'll tell you a little story. 1994, I was on a beach uh on on the island of Cyprus in the Mediterranean. And at the time, you know, we were flying this night mission called the Beirut Air Bridge. We would fly into Beirut Lebanon at night, uh supporting the embassy there. And it was all kind of cool, night vision goggles, you know, low, excuse me, low-level, um, you know, two aircraft flying, very adventurous, uh, very challenging mission. But during the day, we were able to sit on the beach and relax because we were on a night schedule. So one day I'm sitting on the beach uh and a guy walks up. We're sitting at this area that was known to have a high volume of traffic because we like to talk to people. We're, you know, in civilian clothes, shorts. Uh, we got a cooler there with some drinks and hors d'oeuvres. And a guy walks up and he's like, Hey, are you American? And I said, Yeah. And he said, uh, he just finished his MBA at Columbia Business School in New York. He was home visiting his family in Cyprus, and he was going to go back and start a job in investment banking. And I remember looking at the other three aviators and not having a clue. I was 28 years old on what exactly is investment banking. So this guy, we give him a drink, he sits down, he starts telling us about free markets and capitalism and all these pillars of American society. And I just had this moment where I was like, well, isn't that interesting? Maybe I should think about getting a slice of American pie. I'd been in at that time for about five years, and I had an obligation of six. Well, I'd been in about four and a half. Uh and so that interaction on the beach, and he told us about this, it just was a seed that was planted. And back then we didn't have, you know, chat GBT in the phone. So I actually had to go to the library and research investment banking. And over the next two years, I basically put in for you know application to business schools and took the GMAT. I was stationed at Fort Benning, Georgia last, and I would drive to Atlanta, Georgia, and sleep on my sister's couch while I took the prep course. And about two years from that moment on the beach, I was driving out of Fort Benning, Georgia, white Ford Ranger truck, no AC, no radio, headed to the Chapel Hill for my NBA. I got to Chapel Hill and it was still a nice transition. I didn't feel like I'd missed the camaraderie, the esprit de corps, the adventure yet. Because I was on a college campus, riding my bike every day. I was still active. But then I followed the path that this guy had articulated, even though maybe it wasn't the best first path for me. Because truthfully, I was never a highly uh academic kind of person. And sometimes investment banking at the junior levels, you're sitting there 80, 100 hours a week doing financial models analysis. I was more like the get out, do something adventurous, climb around the aircraft, lead people, that sort of thing. But uh, I got into investment banking, and you know, I learned quite a bit, but I knew it wasn't the ultimate path. So after about six years, I transitioned to sales and trading. So picture a Wall Street trading floor, people screaming at each other, big open area, lines of desk. On one side are traders, other side are salespeople. As a salesperson, I'm talking to uh institutional asset managers like hedge fund managers, you know, pension fund managers that control millions and billions of dollars. And you're talking to them on a day-to-day basis, seeing what they want to go in and out of as far as corporate securities. So I did that for 16 years, Mary. I loved it. Absolutely loved it. It was a relationship-building job. I'd go out, take clients at dinner, and you know, it was pretty rewarding. But I still felt like there was something that I want to do. And I kept going back to the things that gave me the biggest uh fulfillment, sense of fulfillment or importance, always had to do with when I thought I was impacting others in a positive way. And that could have been like landing black hawks in little villages in Honduras and Guatemala taking doctors and medical teams, you know, and you approach the landing zone and you see like the whole village out there, and one guy with a stick with a white flag on, piece of garment marking the L Z so you can get the winds. Wow. And you land in this little area, and I had goosebumps because I was thinking my unique skills got this aircraft on this mountain, 14,000 feet up, so these hope villagers could have, you know, uh medical vaccinations, immunizations, uh, understand about things like cholera. And so I kept going back to those kind of moments, mentoring people, lead, and I said, that's really what I want to do. So after 21 years of being a revenue producer uh in an investment bank, I shifted and started leading people's, what's called a development officer. And that's what I did to balance the last five years of my career. Uh, you know, I started off by leading about 100 junior bankers globally in the mergers and acquisitions group. And then I got promoted and I was managing the managers and that, you know, for about 1,100 or 1200 bankers. So, you know, again, I come to a transition point uh in October of last year and decided that the best route for me at that point was to uh start this business, Van Buren Advisory. So now I do professional skills and leadership training uh through to financial corporations or uh, you know, it can be consulting, finding anyone that has talented people coming in the organization that they want to invest in something other than the technical analytical skills, leadership, professional skills. And that sort of brings me where I am today. And I'll just conclude there by saying in all of those transitions, I took lessons, really important lessons, lessons that you probably learned in your journey, you know, in the Marine Corps, uh, lessons about you know self-awareness, lesson about lessons about foundational habits and communication and all those things uh I use in my content today. I do executive coaching on the side, and I also do uh corporate training.

Three Cockpit Lessons For Life

Mario P. Fields 10:58

Wow. I mean, in first of all, what a what a uh uh bloodline of patriotism. You know, I'm 50, and and for your dad to to say, you know what, we we still got life in us, let's have another. And here comes Frank Van Buren. You know, I'm 50. As soon as you said that, I was like, that's like Mario Pierre feels today. And then to have uh family members that that during some challenging times for for you know African Americans to still serve, you know, to still serve during some very, very uh uh challenging conflicts. And and I salute you know the family for that, especially the behind us scene heroes, the moms and the you know, the siblings and the parents and coaches and preachers and teachers on that one. And and then for you to be sitting there, you know, chilling on the island, you know, and say, you know, let me get some wisdom from this guy. And you didn't, you know, Frank, you didn't have to listen to that guy. You know, you didn't have to listen, but you chose you chose to listen. And then and then we speed up. And everybody, I don't know if y'all caught it, but I caught it. He does not look like he's like uh, you know, late 50, 60, you know. You do not look like you were born in 1966. There is hope for Mario Pierre Fields, Frank. You're doing just fine, man. What are you talking about? It must be the lotion. I don't know, man. So it's a very interesting journey to go from the cockpit to to you know, now where you are today with making just huge impacts on people throughout the world and in the uh the the finance and banking industry. And let's talk a little bit about that. You mentioned some lessons, and everyone, you guys got to get his book, you know, Life Lessons from the Cockpit. Well, if you could pick two or three transferable lessons you learn from the cockpit to where you are today. What what three lessons would you pick that shaped Frank Van Buren?

Frank Van Buren 12:59

The first is a recognition that it is through the adversity, overcoming hardship, the challenge, the struggle, the failures, the insecurities that the real growth occurs.

Mario P. Fields 13:10

Yeah.

Frank Van Buren 13:11

And if you talk to an athlete, you talk to a military person, they'll tell you the greatest lessons comes from the hardship. And that always informed me to have the audacity and the courage to try something that was way out over my skis. Because I figured that's where the growth is going to be. And I think once you get that concept that the growth occurs in the hardship and the adversity, you stop worrying about failure and you start thinking about the second lesson, which is you know, fear of failure is the biggest dream killer out there, right? It's daunting, it gets all of us at times. But what I learned how to do is create this comparative fear, like the fear of regret is bigger to me than the fear of failure. So I'm more worried about being at the end of my life and looking back and saying, I wish I had had the courage to try. Everything hasn't worked. There's been some setbacks and failures, but I try to go back to lesson number one and realize that, you know, it is only through uh, you know, managing fear and creating a bigger fear of regret than failure that you can you can uh uniquely go and become the best human being that you can be. And, you know, talents interchangeable. Uh and then, you know, the last thing is without a doubt, uh self-awareness and understanding your dominant attributes and triggers of fulfillment, and then trying to set a life course where whatever you bring to the table, your superpowers, your dominant attributes are truly sought after in the role that you're going towards. So the whole filter is you're you're at a crossroads, you can go left or right, two different jobs. The real filter question is which job better appreciates or seeks my superpowers, my gifts, my best stuff. And then the other question that that crossroads is which path has more triggers of fulfillment? Because yes, you have to be motivated, but you got to be disciplined more than motivated. Because there are days where you don't want to do do it, but you got to do it anyway. And that's usually directly correlated to you believe that there will be some fulfilling moments. So those are the three lessons I think I've I'd take away.

Mario P. Fields 15:25

Man, I I love, you know, oftentimes, Frank, I know I've been guilty of this. You know, when adversity comes, you're like, man, I just wish it would stop. Stop the beatings. Yeah. Yeah. But but I love how you put it. You know, look look at adversity as opportunities to learn, to grow. You know, it it and then definitely that um, you know, the the the self-awareness critical. I want to highlight that, you know, the self-awareness is is super, super critical. And then knowing your strengths, and then the last thing you mentioned, and I think it's critical in my belief, is you have two choices, A or B, and then choosing being aware of your strength, and then choosing the path that's meaningful. I think often oftentimes I get confused, man, when folks go, oh, uh job A is offering $100,000, job job B is offering $250K. Man, I'm going for job B, even though job A is more meaningful. And what's your thoughts on? I love how you said that. And what has your experience been when you've done things that were meaningful to you and not necessarily financially the best rewarding choice?

Meaning Over Money For The Long Run

Frank Van Buren 16:45

Yeah, it's very tempting with that scenario you gave, just to grab the 250, because in the short term, it's it's an easy choice. You're like, but the bigger problem is for you to sustain making $250,000. So if it's just a one-year thing, you're just trying to pay some bills, I get it. Yeah. But if the goal is to take you on a path that is true to oneself, that helps you become the best human being. If you're doing something you hate, the 250, you're not gonna be able to sustain it. And the second thing is every time you go up a level in an organization, everyone there is talented, everyone there is hardworking, and some of them love what they're doing and you don't. So you're not gonna survive anyway very long in the 250 role, assuming the assumption is you don't like that, but it's just a better job. The 100 role, if you come to work every day and you think about that as a stepping stone to the person that you want to become, which is another thing I always work with my executive coaching clients on. Like, tell me the human being you want to be 10, 15 years from now, what qualities do you want to emulate, who gets you there? Because ultimately, in the short term, I've seen people that take high-paying jobs and within two years they're burned out. They're starting again and they're asking me, how do I get aligned with who I am as a person? I said, Well, here we go. The point is, it's not easy. Sometimes you have practical, you know, bill paying, you have, you know, debt or whatever it is, and you have to take a job. I would just say, um, in the event that you do that, you should recognize that's probably not a long-term sustainable path because you probably can't compete in something you don't care about.

Talent Alignment Advice And Where To Connect

Mario P. Fields 18:31

Frank, that is that is you, you know, when you're talking about the folks you coach, and they're like, all right, how do I become you know me again? I had this visual of you landing the helicopter, go, Mario. First of all, let's get just hey Sarvey, first of all, we gotta land. And then once I get you on the ground, let's dust off your camis, and let's talk about the restart. But I love how you, you know, and listeners and viewers, I hope you guys got this. But you know, to strategize, to be intentional, it's complex, it's nasty, it's sturdy, it's messy, and it's good. But to be intentional on close my eyes, how do I see myself 15 years from now? What does that look like? Having someone like Frank help you operationalize that vision. And then the last thing I'd like to highlight before before I ask you one last question in this wonderful, wonderful unarmed discussion is how you mention that as you climb the ladder metaphorically in your industry, your competition, you may be working against folks who love what they do. Ooh. And and it will expose you, not not in an intentional way, because when they're passionate, it's not much effort to do what they do. Man, that was powerful. Man, I don't want to let you go. I said this before to show everybody. I was like, I Frank, well, all the guests, I do this for everybody, but Frank's got major energy this morning and or this afternoon. And anyway, let me shut the hell up. Frank, if you were standing next to yourself before you went to flight school, and you had to give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

Frank Van Buren 20:31

Talent is not interchangeable. If you take a sports analogy, Michael Jordan, right? Greatest basketball player, won six championships. Remember when he tried to play baseball and he couldn't hit a curveball? I do. Right? Could you take Maya Angelou, a poet who who moved the world with oratory and and writing, and interchange her or change her out with Neil Armstrong, an astronaut? Right. No. So the only way you ever become really exceptional of something is if it's aligned with who you are as a person. And that's a hard pill to swallow, especially for veterans like us, because veterans are taught from the time you join the military, Roger that, I can do it. Take tail, do this, run the motor pool, fly helicopters. And so you become this jack of all trades, get it done guy. And in the corporate world or post-military, you're not rewarded for being above average in a whole bunch of things. You're rewarded for being extraordinary. So you've got to get a line with if I said to you, tell me your top three attributes since you've been a little kid, what do people come to you for? And then I said, force rank those number one. And then I said, How are you going to get that? Your best stuff. It doesn't have to be better than everyone else. How are you going to use that to set the course of your life? And that's hard to do when you're younger because you still think you can be great in everything, like our parents told us when we were growing up. That's Good at the junior levels, but if you really want big success, you've got to think what do I do that differentiates me? What do I do best? What's my best quality? And play with that skill, and that's your best chance to have an extraordinary life.

Mario P. Fields 22:16

Man, that was powerful. Again, I'm gonna have to talk to Alice Craig. We're gonna have to put a three-year finance at 6% interest on this invoice or loan I got of him connecting you and I together. Frank, this has been amazing. And how can folks find you?

Frank Van Buren 22:37

FrankVuren.com. And then under frankvanburen.com, if they're interested in executive coaching, you just go to the little service services, and there's a coaching thing, or there's a contact page. Uh, or for people that are uh really involved in LinkedIn, uh hit me up on LinkedIn, send a little DM message saying that uh you know you heard this. Uh and and Mara, if you put out a post, I'll forward that, but people can connect with me on LinkedIn or directly to my website.

Mario P. Fields 23:07

I sure will, Frank. Well, I truly, truly appreciate you coming on the show, my friend. Um, well, everyone, this this concludes. No, no worries, Frank. Sorry about that, my friend. But uh, but everyone, this uh concludes these this episode again. Until next time, um, I always thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support. Please stay unarmored, stay authentic, and stay mentally fit. God bless you all. Thanks, Frank. Pleasure, thank you.