Can We Steal You for a Second?
Two best friends sharing their strong opinions, biased commentary, and comedic analysis of the Bachelor Franchise. Music: www.bensound.comInstacart Referral Link - https://instacart.oloiyb.net/c/3017650/1140284/7412Buzzsprout Referral Link - https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=1376989Music - www.bensound.com
Episodes
166 episodes
The Valley S2E8: Hypocrite Island
It’s a beach brawl this week on The Valley! Janet gets called a vibe-killing Karen, Zack begins to realize Brittney has moved on from his friendship, and Jax is even darker than usual. We also briefly talk Summerhouse reunion, Next Gen NYC,...
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Season 1
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Episode 13
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47:28
The Valley S2E7: Being Force Fed LaLa
Kristen checks Janet with a seemingly totally false rumor, but someone had to step up to the queen bee! The tides are turning on alliances. There is blood in the water. Plus, we go on a long tangent about our existential dread with phone addict...
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Season 1
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Episode 12
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59:49
The Valley S2E6: Just a Cheeky Swig!
Apologies for recording delay!Who among us hasn’t taken a quick pull in a corner of a party?! This week, we get more details and perspectives on Darkside Danny Tequilagate, and we’re still Team Nia. Let’s turn our attention to the real p...
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54:17
The Valley S2E5: She Wouldn't Piss On Her If She Was On Fire
Whitney is back from Japan, and the only cure for train bento and foot spa withdrawals is relishing in the pure entertainment that is American reality TV: The Valley and Summerhouse. We discuss Brittney’s uncalled-for turn on Nia, Zach’s moral ...
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Season 1
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Episode 11
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1:00:59
The Valley S2E2: Save The Children (Of The Valley)
Truly one of the darkest episodes of reality TV we’ve seen, and we’ve seen a lot. We can’t help but think about all these dang kids! Tune in as we over-analyze childhood trauma, marital abuse, sociopathic tendencies, crippling addiction, just t...
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Season 1
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Episode 10
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1:10:53
The Valley S2E1: Weak Man Apocalypse
The Valley is back with fresh separations, contentious co-parenting, Crazy Kristen, and all is right in the world. Ultimately, we theorize that these men don’t know how to handle their insecurities, thus making it the problem of the women in th...
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Season 1
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Episode 9
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1:07:11
S29E9: Juliana, No Notes?
Happy to announce that we loved this finale! Grant chose the path of least resistance, which…we have mixed feelings about. Litia broke the veneer and showed her stronger, more sassy side, which we loved. Juliana’s character arc fell flat…did sh...
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Season 1
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Episode 8
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1:02:25
S29E8: The Final Rot of the Bachelor Empire
An empire falls not with a bang but with a whimper… We spend the majority of this episode analyzing the fall of the Bachelor franchise. The death spiral into irrelevancy, as it grips on to its puritanical values, outdated references, and meanin...
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Season 1
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Episode 7
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54:25
S29E7: So Genuine and Real
Allow us to rant for a moment will you…We miss the days when people actually shared a sincere emotion or challenged themselves to discuss something uncomfortable. Families used to be the people you couldn’t fake things with. We are at the point...
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Season 29
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Episode 6
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54:51
S29E5: The Soaking Suite
It's make or break this week in Scotland before hometowns. Litia finally reveals the potential dealbreaker of her religious culture, Juliana finally gets a chance to shine, and Zoe is snubbed. Carolina crashes out, though admittedly we will mis...
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Season 29
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Episode 5
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51:44
S29E4: Pick-Me or Stingray
Just as the group embarks on their international journey to Madrid, Camille returns from her honeymoon in Tahiti bringing back stories of White Lotus parallels and slutty stingrays. In this episode, we analyze the traditional-minded ways of...
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Season 29
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Episode 4
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38:54
S29E2+3: Gulf of Wrong Reasons
Whitney's dad joins to discuss E2+3, Kendrick vs Drake, the Eagles victory, Camille/John's honeymoon, and poor policy decisions a la gulf of America embarrassment by Google!
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Season 1
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Episode 9
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53:46
S29E1: These Women are Going to be a Problem
Sincere AND horny, the perfect combo for a lead. Grant, you’ve started the season strong! His endearing sexiness will make these women fall even harder, allowing chaos to ensure. Locked in! Plus, an analysis of the Lively-Baldoni saga, and the ...
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Season 1
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Episode 8
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47:05
Golden Finale: You Had a Job to Do
Joan pulled some soft diplomacy behind the scenes with producers to come get her man, get out, and not have to be interesting or dramatic whatsoever. Happy for y’all or whatever but…we want reality show antics in our TV instead of our politics,...
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Season 1
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Episode 7
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48:18
GoldenFantasySuites: Weatherman Hot
Joan we see you…we respect your Edward Cullen no bed choice for the Fantasy Suites…but we know you and Chock got it on. Joan and her suitors head to Tahiti to watch Joan and Chock fall in love, and though we miss having some messy young dramati...
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Season 1
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Episode 6
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1:01:30
GoldenS1E6: They Make a Mean Oat Matcha
Hometowns hits different on Golden seasons! Guy is arguably the best choice now but Joan can’t stand to kiss him, Pascal is truly one-of-a-kind so we aren’t sure how he resembles Joan’s late husband, Jordan is hung, and Chock comes from the Wit...
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Season 1
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Episode 5
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42:50
GoldenS1E4/5: Widows DOWN
Is there a hierarchy division between Golden widows and divorcees? Would you rather your spouse die or leave you to start a new family? Did producers pre-plan the yacht date game or throw a hail mary? Does Mark know he’s hot? Just normal questi...
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Season 1
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Episode 4
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1:02:25
Golden S1E3: Shanty Raid
Whatever happened to a group of men wanting to join together in a sea shanty?! Justice for Kim! This week the fuckboys rise: Jonathan and Pascal…we have our eyes on you. As always, there is more than enough charm and wonder to lift the spirits ...
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Season 1
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Episode 3
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43:23
Golden S1E1: Not Gay, Just French
Joan and her highly eligible bachelors start their ~journey~ with a hot start! We discuss generational differences, Frank Sinatra, and lessons learned for aging and approaching life.
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1:01:59
GoldenE0: DILF City
Are we getting older or are these guys substantially hotter than Jenn’s cast?! Join us as we set out to judge them based on their potential as father-in-laws and end up objectifying them for ourselves….
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58:01
S21 Finale: Sadistic Freaks
We can confidently say that this was the most emotionally painful finale we’ve seen. It’s barely a silver lining because she didn’t seem to have much agency in the matter, but Jenn put it all out there, and we commend her for it. Devin, if we e...
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Season 1
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Episode 141
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1:21:01
S21E6/7/8: Jenn Loves a Project (PLUS WEDDING RECAP) - JUMBO EPISODE
Pardon our tardiness…the entire podcast team was off celebrating the wedding of Camille and John! We had to start with a recap, plus some funny tea. Then, we largely discuss our favorite episode of the year: Fantasy Suites. Jenn is down BAD for...
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Season 1
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Episode 140
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1:28:08
S21E5: Cary (The Bachelor Stylist) v. The People
After a ROUGH 1:1 showing from Sam last week, Grant and Jonathan helped revive our faith in this cast having…a drop or two of juice. But each week, Jenn shows more and more her inability to put both men in their place…and Cary, the infamous Bac...
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Season 1
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Episode 139
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1:08:27
S21E4: It's All Downhill From Here
It’s a bad week to be a Sam! Just what the world needed: an emboldened, hopped-up-on-adrenaline, life-coach wannabe ass Sam M. While Sam N may be misguided and irritating, they’ll still never make us like you, Thomas. Plus, Jenn’s less toxic ex...
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Season 1
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Episode 138
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43:22