Authentic Leadership with Emmy Winner Jeanne Sparrow | Women's Empowerment

Emmy-winning host Jeanne Sparrow  reveals how female leaders unlock authentic power in Season 4, Episode 11 of Speaking of Phenomenal. Discover actionable strategies for women empowerment through her new  book, Fearless Authenticity. Jeanne discusses tips for resilience, and transforming your leadership voice into lasting impact. Amy Boyle interviews one of today's boldest women leaders about inspiring change in yourself and your community.

MUSIC (used with permission)
WOMAN Performed by Tiffany Villarreal - Pod artwork by Amanda Eich

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Speaking of Phenomenal is created and produced by Amy Boyle. Podcast artwork by Amanda Eich. "Woman" by Tiffany Villarreal, used with permission. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review and share the podcast, and stay tuned for more inspiring conversations. Support the show with on Patreon.

Transcript

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Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (00:00.194)
Welcome to the Speaking of Phenomenal podcast, I'm so glad you're here. I am excited to be here and I'm glad that you think I'm phenomenal. Yes. And speaking of that, I'd love it if you introduced the phenomenal you to our audience. boy. Okay. How to narrow it down into the most phenomenal pieces. So I am a former media. Well, I guess I still am a current media personality. 

It's just not my main jam anymore. I'm a writer and author. I'm an author, a speaker and a consultant. And I have written a book called fearless authenticity. That is about my belief and what I have discovered through my career and from talking to fantastically authentic people is that our biggest successes and satisfaction in life come when we are our most and real selves. And so I've written a book about it. have a system that I use to train corporate and individual people on how to access that. Because I think as we get older, as we grow up, the world tells us that who we are needs to be something else. But that is a lie. And it sometimes takes us a route to get back to the truth. Your podcast is also Fearless Authenticity. What is the definition via Jeanne Sparrow. 

So the definition is just that, that who we are is the gift we have to offer the world, that we don't necessarily have to go looking for our purpose because we were put here to do something and the truer we are to ourselves, the quicker and more efficiently we will find what we are supposed to do. It will come to us and we will know it when we see it, when we feel it. 

Cause I think a lot of times we spend our lives trying to be, trying to figure out what we're supposed to do. And we're just supposed to be ourselves and who we are is the gift through who we are and discovering more of the things that we are meant to share with other people is where we will find our purpose. So thinking back to your, out your career, the different kind of major lessons that you've learned about how to.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (02:17.274)
How did find your authentic voice and how that matters to us? So for me, even though I think I've always known that my voice mattered because of what I've done for a living, I don't think I realized what that actually meant. And I know that sounds crazy because I spent 30 years in broadcast before I wrote this book. But even the reason why I wrote the book is kind of how I got to where we can all get something from it because I met a woman after my last show got canceled and I had intended to have this media training business, speaking training, that kind of thing. And I was explaining to her what I did and all these other things. And she says, you know, she just stops me she was like, have you ever thought about writing a book? Because you could put all of this into the book and then speak and teach people kind of the system you have. I think you're thinking too small.

And I was just like, yeah, no, uh-uh. And she was just like, I need you to focus because we all have these things we do that we take for granted. And I ask people three questions when I'm doing trainings. And this is whether it's a speaking presentation training, whether it's a leadership training, no matter what it is, I ask them three questions. What work do you do? and, or what do you do depending on the setting? Because I think a lot of us access our worth through our work.

Especially as Americans, but it could apply to any sort of thing, whether it's your side hustle or just what you enjoy. I ask, what do you do? What benefits do the results of that have for other people? And why are those benefits providing those benefits? How is that important to you? And I think that's where we start to understand what we're worth and how what we do is special because all of us have other people that do what we do, right?

There are other photographers in the world. There are other podcast hosts in the world. There are a lot of podcast hosts in the world. All of us do it in a certain way that allows people to connect with us. And that's to me, what is at the root of finding your authentic voice is understanding that yes, what you do may not be unique as far as the job title or the deliverables.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (04:41.125)
But the way you do it is, and you need to understand what that is because in that is, is where you're worth your value, your authentic voice is, and you start to find your purpose that way. Absolutely. Back when I started the 52 Phenomenal Women Project, it was almost the same kind of idea. First it was curiosity, but then to get people, like even you said, where do I, what part of you is phenomenal? Where do I start with how to describe myself? And then.

It was to strip away all the other things. I would say what's phenomenal right now. And so that keeps us in the present moment, right? Not thinking about the past, projecting to the future. I'll be phenomenal when. And then also too, finding the why behind your what, which is exactly what you just hit on. So that gets into the who we are. To your point exactly, we so frequently that

next achievement done, what's next? Or, that was not a big deal. What's next? And I think people, these need to be celebrated wins. They need to be cheered on from ourselves first, but then hopefully our friends and family that see this, that uniqueness in us, you know, that quirkiness, that whatever it is, so that we can continue to share it. Cause I, you know, before we started recording, we're talking about these are times where we really need to be there for ourselves and then for each other. What have you been thinking on in the last few weeks as we're trying to process all the changes to come? I've been thinking about what authentic communication really is. And it's something I'm always thinking about because we all fall short, myself included, especially in our day to day, especially in our one-on-ones. And I keep going back to this thing I tell people that they always laugh at in my trainings or when I'm doing a talk is a lot of times when we are talking, we are so concerned about what it is we are saying that we do not have a dialogue. We don't stop to listen to the other person. It's almost like that moment when you're in an argument where you just waiting for the other person to shut up so that you could get your lick in, you know? But I think a lot of our conversations are like that. People just waiting for the other person to shut up or take a pause.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (07:01.916)
So they can interject something in the middle of it instead of actually listening to what's being said, listening to what's not being said. Cause I think that's actually the clue and the cue to what is happening right now. Nobody's listening to what's not being said or very few people are. What, why do people feel a certain way? Why do people feel a certain path is the right one? And why is it to the exclusion of other paths?

And you can absolutely make boundaries and set some very hard lines for yourself. Just be intentional about it and communicate it in a way that allows that conversation to be a two-way street, not a one-way street. And also recognizing when you're not able to do that. And that takes a lot of self-reflection to get to that point, right? I mean, I think we're such a distracted group of people, society in general, that to take that moment. We're too busy, right? That busyness stuff. But you you have your self-care Sundays and I think we need to stop and reflect and take care and pay attention so that when we even have quiet in our own day, we can see again to your point, like what is not being said, what's happening in the silences so that you can have a better dialogue.

Tuning in takes energy and a lot of us feel like our energy is finite. And while it does ebb and flow, an exchange actually gives energy and it creates energy between two people. Now, what kind of energy and the quality of the energy is up to you. But if you're not participating in the exchange, then that can't happen and it won't happen. That's the part. It's like when the walls go up.

When you decide it's about you. And a lot of times these decisions are unconscious. They're not things we do on purpose, but when you think about how you have felt on the other end of that, it feels like it's intentional. It feels like it's on purpose and the way that we need to be more in touch with ourselves. So we are aware of how we affect other people and decide.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (09:21.166)
If how we're affecting other people is how we want to, I'm not saying that we need to change ourselves for other people, but if what you think you're doing is not in alignment with what you are actually doing or how other people are taking it, then there's a disconnect. And a lot of times that disconnect is with yourself and it doesn't allow you to connect with another person. When it comes to kind of exploring that, is there something that you have in the book that helps?

people come along in that journey or what would you say is a good place to get started to recognize where the disconnects might be happening in our communication? So it really, do emphasize a lot of intentionality and I talk about it. There are a lot of different ways to talk about it that I talk about in the book. one of the ways I have this system I call live it, it, sell it, where live it is about you. Cause I believe there are three, these three elements are really important.

important and how we, how we connect with other people, whether that's for leadership, sales, just everyday life. Live it as being aware of yourself, right? Paying attention to what you do. And I have an exercise that everybody hates and nobody ever wants to do, but when they do it, it works. You have to look at yourself from the outside in and, and, and experience yourself the way other people do. So like when you have a presentation to do, let's say we all have our phones.

There's a huge, there's a beautiful video camera on this thing that you could just prop up, record yourself and look back and then look at it with the idea of, is what I intended to say what I actually did? Like I may have said the words, but what's the nonverbal communication? I think we often discount nonverbal communication because we're so focused on getting the words right. And yes, getting words right is important. I love words, but if

the nonverbal is off. We as human beings are hardwired to give that more weight. Most of the studies that are out there say somewhere between 60 to 90 % of our communication is nonverbal. So the words, it's literally like for anybody who's of this age, like peanuts, Charlie Brown, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. You are not hearing somebody. You ever had a conversation where you don't think somebody's heard your words?

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (11:38.654)
It's some about your energy, something about your nonverbal communication that they're picking up on that they've completely tuned out. And you've done that to other people. So the livid is about you. Tell it is about the story. Realize that we're always telling stories to people. What is in those stories, right? And then the last piece, the sell it piece is realizing that we are always in service to somebody else. That that's part of the dialogue is understanding what other people need, what other people are looking for.

One of my colleagues at Northwestern calls this listening generously. And she's in health communication where I think this is of the utmost importance because people don't talk about the things that are going on with their health, especially if there's some kind of shame or embarrassment around it. So you have to listen to what's not being said. Listen generously. If somebody is giving you a little bit of a crack in that, you know, in the facade or what have you, look a little deeper.

and see what it is and be of service to each other. I think a lot of times we focus again so much on ourselves that we forget that there's another person on the part of the exchange that we can be of service to and it doesn't cost us anything. love the idea of the practicing too, because I think a lot of people think authentic just means off the cuff. No, just flat. No, what a good exercise. And I can see how it would definitely make me.

too, to like stop and then you're like nitpicking other things that matter to us. And then you're like, well, how do you see with the eyes of the audience? They're not looking at that again, right? It's maybe how you stand or which way your hands or whatever the thing is, right? At the end of the day, it is a give and take, right? They are what you're doing. Let's say it's on stage or in a Zoom call is what they're receiving. And if it's just like boring miles going,

Even we get lost in what we're saying at that point. It becomes wah, wah, wah, wah. 100%. 100%. If you ever say a word too many times, you're like, the word doesn't even sound right. And you look at it, like, how are we even spelling this? This doesn't look right because it's lost its meaning. And a couple of things about what you said. Most people, when they look back at themselves, focus completely on the wrong things. I always tell people, look for three good things that you did, that you accomplished.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (14:02.474)
before you even start with the things that you thought you did wrong. Because it's really not about right or wrong. It's about whether or not you achieved your intention and whether or not you did anything to detract from that. So whether there is something distracting that you do, like a lot of people focus on us and ums and what we call fillers. And the reality is we all have fillers that you just don't notice them until they become too repetitive because it's a cue that somebody isn't.

in tune with what they're talking about or they're focused on something else. The other thing is, that it gives you a chance to build empathy. Like I think there's a lot of empathy missing in the world. And I think a lot of my work, even though it is not intentionally meant to increase empathy, putting yourself in somebody else's shoes immediately.

gives you a different perspective and it changes your perspective and it shifts it. It's just like when you're doing this with your eyes, you look at something this way with both of your eyes, it's gonna look one way, but the minute you close one eye, things start to move, right? Because our vision is done with both of these. But seeing just how that perspective can shift, even when you're in the same plane, imagine what happens then if you go over here.

And then you look at it from this perspective, you're going to see something different and just doing that and making that a habit will make you more empathetic in life and keep you from getting a little too focused on yourself and what your goals are. There's nothing wrong with that, but none of us do anything alone. And I think that what's embedded in my practice is the idea of how we collaborate.

and what's a road to collaborating on a very like nano micro level. I think when we do listen more graciously and intentionally to give back, there's so many ways we can help each other and not in that I was talking to somebody at an event this weekend and not in a like networking event kind of how can you help me because you're really paying attention. The gift I have can help you.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (16:14.262)
And then the playing field changes and we're all getting something back. But again, these are things that it's going to take effort for people to start to realize that it's okay. You can share that and you're not giving away your trade secrets. You're just making the whole thing better. Any thoughts on how to perpetuate that?

So you hit on something that I always tell, I've told my mentees since day one and I had a really interesting conversation with one of them about that. When she was networking, we always, and I think this is the common, I'm not gonna call it a mistake because it seems right on the surface and it's not incorrect. Most of us try to network up. We always try to network to the people who are above us. Nothing wrong with that because there is something to learn there.

A lot of times though, what we're doing it for really is extractive. What can we get that person is someplace I want to be. need something from them. Maybe they can give me a job at, which is true. But the only way that you actually get that job is if you have something to offer them. And I said this to a mentee one time, said, stop networking, just just networking.

Network across also because the same people who are coming up with you need you as much as the people who are above you. And those people, including yourself, will be the next leaders. So eventually when you get to a certain point, you're also going to be networking down. And I, and I hate to use those words because it sounds so hierarchical, but that's how our society is set up. People who are coming up into the industry, they have new ideas and innovation that you might never think of.

But she said to me, when I said the first piece of it to her, she said to me, she was like, but Jean, I don't have anything to offer them. Honey, need to dial this back because A, you do, but B, you need to know what that is so you can talk about that. So when you go in with an offer, people are instantly more interested in what you have to say. It's just like the dating advice dating coaches give. Don't be interesting, be interested.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (18:28.842)
Right? Everybody wants to be drawn in by something. And if somebody is interested in you, interested in how they can help you, has something to offer, now there's a possibility of exchange that costs nobody anything. And I think that if we foster that idea of having that offer, and then that goes back to the very first thing we started talking about.

When you know what you are worth, when you know what you do uniquely, you can tell people, this is the thing I do. Now, I'm in this narrow little lane. Do you fit in this lane or is this lane something that fills a gap that you haven't filled yet? All of a sudden, the tenor of the conversation changes. And even if they don't need that one thing for you, they damn sure are gonna remember who you are. And that's something that once that...

becomes rote in your own brain. It feels when you see it happen again and you're like, I tried it once. And you know, you're learning how to do it. And then all of a sudden it just flows because you own it. It's, it's game changer. It's a total game changer. Look at the people who have the richest networks. Look at them and look at how they relate. Like if you are part of one of those networks and all of us have that person in our lives who is like a super connector. have several.

And when you look at who they are and how they operate, this is how they operate. They know how to activate certain things like the people, look at people who are fundraisers, look at them, look at how they operate. Cause they are constantly asking people for things, but look at how the exchanges happen. Right? Look at what the relationships are. Look at how they bond with other people over those things. Those folks are the most connected often.

because they have something to offer. It's not just about what they're doing. It's also about the relationship and about the exchange and realizing that we can exchange things without being transactional, right? Without expectations of I'm doing this to get that. Energetically, that's a little off. No judgment, but.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (20:48.476)
You're going to get like you, you know, what you put in is what you get out. Like anybody who does programming knows that if the program is off in a, in a, in in a system and software, then the output's going to be off. Right. We make things so freaking complicated when they don't have to be that's human nature. I'm an overthinker. I'm only saying what I know and what I've been through.

What you put in is what you get out. So what's the quality of what you are putting in? I think a lot of us need to think about that in advance and just kind of nurture ourselves and nurture the conversations and then take the breaks when we need it. Cause sometimes I, again, this force march of deadlines, timelines, fake or real, they just make things to your whole point about if it's off, it's off. Like, you know,

give it the energy that will produce a more positive outcome. It's a big difference knowing when to pull back to, because I think we just go, we'll just plow through. And I'm like, maybe not. some of it. especially when other people are concerned. Plowing through relationships, no matter what they are, professional, personal, whatever, they're all relationships. And I think we often have lot of demarcations about what those relationships.

should look like and how they should do and how we plow through. And those things just don't work. And also understanding and accepting timing and knowing when, like that's the thing. I've had people ask me about my timing with things because sometimes like, I can't tell you how many jobs I've left before things went completely down the toilet. And they're like, how do you know? I was like, I don't.

It looks like I do because I'm gone before everything falls apart, but something was off for me before that, or I had done what I came to do and it was time to move on. But I think when you are tuned in to what you need and you're not getting it, you're not necessarily paying attention to all the gossip or this, or, I need to get out while the getting is good.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (23:04.434)
You're doing it. Cause I've also left jobs where people are like, why did you leave all that money on the table? All money ain't good money. And every situation is not the right one. Like they're golden handcuffs that happened in this world. And my choices are not always everybody else's, but when you stop and think and are observant and you have those three pieces where you're aware of yourself, you're aware of other people and you're aware of the tissue that can connect you and how you can activate that.

then you're starting to move through the world in a way that feels better for you. That's because it's in alignment with who you are. And that's really what I mean when I talk about fearless authenticity. And the reason why I call it fearless is because it's scary to do that. Because sometimes your spirit will be telling you it's time to move on and you're not ready to take that leap. You want that comfort. And sometimes life just isn't comfortable. Without a doubt on that one. And it leads up to where

Definitely want to spend a little bit more time because you just hit on a lot of it. End of year, a lot of people are thinking about resolutions and maybe navigating change, a goal to be more authentic, to be more fearless. What advice, either personally or from the book, do you have to get those, whether it's a list or whatever, to get the new year, the new you?

out of your head and into action. So a lot of the elements that I just talked about, and yes, this is all in the book. And listen, I have struggled. want to say this before I say anything. I, I, anything I want to preface this by saying resolutions for me don't work. I've, I can't, I've given up on them. Right. Anybody who they do work for, you are doing it right. And you have cracked the code. What I do think though, is that the same process I use.

to improve performance and the same process I use to discover, call it discovering value, uncovering authenticity is how I frame that particular exercise where I talk about what do you do? What benefits does it have? Doing that, it's almost like an audit, a personal audit. When you are looking at your life and looking at what you do, regardless of what it is, whether that is your social connections, whether that is your work,

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (25:23.89)
whether that is a passion project, something you are drawn to, taking an audit of how you actually do all those things, right? Are you giving time to the things that feed you? Are you giving time to the people and the relationships that are important to you? Taking stock and the exercise I talk about

with the uncovering authenticity is something I feel like we should be doing on a regular basis anyway, because as we change and grow, what our value is, what our worth is to ourselves and to others and our work changes as well. So I think this is a good time of year to take stock. Like what happened this year? What went well? What didn't? What was in alignment for me and what was off? And how can I shift that?

And so when you go and also you can use that same exercise to project ahead. Like what work do I want to do? What passion projects do I want to seed and grow? What relationships do I want to invest more time in? And then you start, and then you start to get into that magical area where you're actually creating your future by the, with the actions you're taking today, because you're making statements that

You know, a manifestation, a lot of people are talking about that now. We do it all the time. It's, we bring things into reality in the way it is. There's nothing really magical about it other than it's an affirmation to remind us of what we want and how we can be a lever in making that happen. So that's the, that's the first piece. And then the second piece is,

Remembering that you need to have a foundation upon which to build. When I talk about the review, I call it record, review, refine, record yourself doing something, look back at it, and then decide what was out of alignment for what you really intended to do. But starting off with the three things you did do right. Right? At least three things. When we are trying to improve things, and this is the reason why I resolutions don't work for many of us.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (27:41.968)
Again, you magical folks that make it happen, baby, give us the formula. But for those of us who resolutions don't work, it's always a critique of ourselves. It is reminding us of where we fall short and no human being can live in that space for very long. We need positive reinforcement. And I'm not talking about toxic positivity that does not see the places where you do need improvement, but understanding that we are always building. And you said it earlier.

What wins are we celebrating? Celebrate the wins in the front to give yourself the courage to be able to do the things that are hard. And we do need to start with those positive things first and that energy will just take us. It's this lift. And then you forget that that was even said because again, we don't hold onto that for very long inherently, but there's just enough and that that when prevails and takes you into the next thing.

which is, that's fantastic. Kind of going back to the very beginning. Now we've talked about what's phenomenal about you, but what is phenomenal to you? Ooh, well, clearly authenticity. When I can feel somebody is living and moving in the way that they feel the most comfortable. I love, and now that I'm getting closer to being, I guess I am an older person now.

But I love my elders, the ones who have settled into who they are and say what they think and stand on business. Like the kids, they stand at all business these days. Baby. It's the elders that stand on business. And I saw a t-shirt. I was, did an event in Philly and I went to the African American museum of Philadelphia and I saw a t-shirt and I bought it. What kind of ancestor will you be is what it said on it.

It gave me, it gives me the chills every time I say it, because that is what I find phenomenal. When people are doing what they love, sharing with the world the gifts that they have, speaking truth as they see it, and also allowing other people to be who they are, that is what I find phenomenal. In the little ways, in the big ways, all of us aren't meant to do huge things.

Amy Boyle (amyboylephoto) (30:04.072)
But when I see people living in joy and you can feel it on them, when you meet people who are joyful, that is what authenticity looks like. That gives me goosebumps too, literally from my toes to the top of my head. And what a, what an exercise to think of what kind of ancestor will you be? And as with that, how can people learn if they don't already know Eugene, how can they learn more about you? Find your book, listen to your wisdom. I can't wait to.

potentially have you back on in 2025 and talk further because this has been fantastic. Thank you so much. I appreciate you, Amy, so much. Thank you for highlighting phenomenal women and thinking that I am one as well. You can find me at fearlessauthenticity.com. My book is on pre-order. It is officially out January 7th. All the links are at fearlessauthenticity.com to pre-order. do have

some special bonuses before January 7th that you can get in on if you'd like to. And the audio book will be coming soon as well. I am scheduled to do the narration for my book in January. So if you're an audio book person, that will be coming soon. You can find me on social. I actually have my main handle right here at JM Sparrow. If you want to check out my podcast at Ms. Jean Sparrow is where you'll find me on YouTube.

And if you, if you have a company that is interested in bringing me in to speak for a conference and all those different things, you can find that at fearlessauthenticity.com as well. Well, as always, everything will be listed in the show notes and you'll be able to link. There'll be a blog post about it afterwards as well. I do hope that whether you are one of those rare birds that can do those resolutions or you just need a daily refresh. Hi, that's me. This is a good place to start for.

today, tomorrow, the next day, the next year, and so on. So thank you again for being on the show today. Thank you, Amy. I appreciate it. The best of luck to you with everything. Thank you for joining us on this episode of Speaking of Phenomenal. Be sure to subscribe, rate, review, and even share the podcast, as well as stay tuned for more inspiring conversations. Remember, each and every one of you is capable of extraordinary things. Until next time, take care and remember, you are phenomenal.