Stop flirting with burnout: Keeping your tank topped up

Playing around the edges of exhaustion might feel manageable... until it's not. 

Have you ever run out of petrol? I have more times than I'd like to admit, though thankfully not for many years! In this episode I'm sharing the gloriously good, the inevitable bad and the painfully ugly of my experience running on empty - in my car and in my life!

In this episode, I explore the connection between energy, burnout, and the tiny top-ups that help keep us full, with some journalling prompts for your reflection.

For more on my own experience of burnout and some tips to avoid it, have a listen to this previous episode. 

Let's Connect!
I'd love to hear from you.
Please get in touch with any questions, suggestions for future episode topics, and to let me know how you're going applying what I share in the podcast in your own life.

Come say hi on instagram: @_anniecarter

And head to my website anniecarter.com.au for some free gifts, and to sign up for emails from me.

I'd love your support
Please help me to continue to grow this podcast.
Some small and very helpful things you could do:

• share an episode with a friend
• subscribe to the podcast on your favourite player
• leave a (5 star!) rating and review
• share a screenshot of an episode (and your reflection) on your socials

Thanks so much! 🙏💗

Transcript

Welcome, welcome, wonderful you. Yes, you. So great to have you here with me. Thanks for joining me. I am here on Wurundjeri Land in Nam, and I want to pay respect to elders past and present. 

How are you going? I'm going really well myself. I had the most beautiful weekend with the Orchard Group. So the Orchard is the 12 month business mentoring program that I'm running, and we are nine months into it, and this is our second retreat. So there are two weekend long retreats built into this program and it was so amazing to come together as a group and just to see how far everybody has come. Of course, we've been tracking along with each other all year, but there's something about getting in the same room in person, having that extended time together.

I just love doing that group work, and hopefully I shared something helpful, but there's also just something really magic about the group sharing where everybody has different insight, different experience that they can share with each other. And so it's just such a rich and beautiful experience. So I'm just still processing and integrating.

I do always feel like I crash a little bit after holding space that intensely for a little, a few days or a week when I do that. And so I really give myself time to just drop into the void and do nothing for a day or two. And so I'm a few days out from that now and starting to emerge and really just processing all the good stuff and soon I'll be looking at their feedback forms and just taking in their experience of it all. And yeah, really, really grateful to be doing this work and to be connected with these amazing business owners like this. And at this point, I'm actually looking at next year about offering it all over again.

So this has run pretty much with the financial year, and so I think that's what I'm looking at doing again. There's a chance that I will make it a calendar year next time, so moving it to January, but at this point really open if it's something that you would be interested in, please get in touch with me.

You can DM me on Instagram, or you can find me at my website, which is anniecarter.com.au. Just send me a message there. Love to know if the Orchard is of interest to you. 

Okay, let's get into our episode, hey.

Let me tell you a story. One day years ago, I was driving my car with my friend, and this was probably in my early to mid twenties, and we were driving along a highway and I could feel my car start to conk out. And it was a familiar feeling. It was the feeling of the car starting to run out of petrol, or basically about to be empty.

And I was like, oh no, we are conking out. We're about to run out. We're on this highway. And then in that moment, on the side of the road was a service station, and I managed to pull in and literally without any acceleration left, just roll up to the Bowser and just stop there and got out, filled the car up and continued on.

It felt like such a rockstar move to like literally be on empty and still to have cruised on into the servo with like, without even missing a beat. I felt pretty amazing in that moment, and so that gave me some balls, if you will, to try it again. Another time where I felt that feeling of my car starting to run outta petrol, I was like not near a service station, but I remembered back to that glorious moment where that had all just worked so well.

And just quickly in my mind I was like, I do know where the nearest service station is. I was like, I'm just gonna give it a red hot go. So I was rolling downhill. I wish I could show you the map for this. I was rolling kind of down a hill, like it was a slow roll, but it was definitely downhill. So it was okay down to a semi main road.

Got to that road and I was like, this could be the end of it. But there was no cars on that main road. And so I drove across, not drove, rolled across that road into a TAFE and oh my gosh, this is so good. And I rolled through the carpark of this TAFE, like literally going like around corners all the way across, over another small road into another car park, into another small road.

You won't believe this, but I'm telling you it's true. Turned left and then turned left again into a service station. I did it again, but this time it was like, like it literally took a few minutes to do it and the whole way, I was like, no way this is happening. I just wanted someone to be there witnessing it, someone to be filming it, someone to be at least sitting beside me, but I was completely by myself.

But trust me, it was a real thing.

All these years later, I can still feel myself basking in the glow of that amazing moment and when I get back into my head space, in that time, it was just fun. It was like bold and a bit of an adventure, and it didn't feel like there were big stakes. It was like worst case, I just do run outta petrol and I have to walk and I'll fill up and I'll be back on my way.

No big deal. And the approach that I had there was kind of mirrored in the way that I live my life with regard to my energy levels. I have tended to act as though they would never run out, and even if they did, it was no big deal. All it would take is a quick pit stop and I would be back on track and feeling fine.

So like a good night's sleep or having a little weekend off and everything would be fine. I'd be back on track.

When I think about it, I kind of saw it as fun and like I enjoyed that playing right on the edge of pushing too far. I enjoyed just seeing, oh my gosh, just when you'd think I'd run out of energy, no, I could keep on going. And it was almost like this flirting with burnout, flirting with exhaustion. Playing around the edges of it. But, I also could tell you stories of times where I ran out of petrol and was stranded out in the middle of nowhere. I can tell you a story of times, at least one time, where I ran out of petrol and it meant that I didn't get to something that was important on time and I let other people down and it was actually quite a big deal to go and to get petrol and to refill the car up and to get back on track.

When it comes to our energy, it's like playing around the edges of burnout. That flirting with burnout is okay until it's not. At least that was my experience, and I've certainly seen other people go through it as well. It strikes me that every person that I have heard teaching on burnout has experienced burnout.

I think that there's something in that, that people are like, once they've been through that they do not want to go there again, and they want to warn other people, "Do not go there." It's definitely not worth it. So let me tell you about another time in my life with cars. It wasn't only running outta petrol over and over and over. 

When I first got my car, I got my license on my 18th birthday. I was so keen and excited to be able to drive, and I got my little car. I talked about my car actually in a few episodes ago when I was talking about stickability. So when I first got this car, I wanted to keep it clean. I wanted to keep it tidy inside, and I wanted to keep it full of petrol, and so I was topping my car up probably every day. And I loved the look of it being on full when I looked at the gauge sitting on full. And if I could see that needle coming back down off of full, I'd be like, oh, time to top up. And I'd go in and I'd put in my $4 or my $7 to bring it back to full. And it would feel so satisfying, and I'd continue on like that.

And as a 18-year-old without a whole lot of money at the time, it was a whole lot of just $4 here, $5 there, $9 here. But I saw someone else, my boyfriend's brother doing the same thing, but he was doing the same at the bottom of the tank. So he was getting to almost out of petrol, or regularly actually out of petrol, and then would put in five bucks or then would put in nine bucks. And so I was doing the same thing, like the same amounts, just these little top-ups, but mine were to bring me right back to full, whereas his was just to keep him scraping off the bottom, getting him out of being completely empty.

I don't know what changed for me that got me into the state that I've shared about earlier, where I was running outta petrol on a semi-regular basis, maybe hanging around with my boyfriend and his brother too much I picked up their habits over the time.

I did a previous episode about burnout, and you might like to go and have a listen to that. I shared my own experience of burning out a couple of times and of getting pretty close to it another time, and I shared some tips for avoiding that. And today I want to share something else, and it's simple. I want to encourage you to be like 18-year-old Annie with her car.

So get yourself to full or as full as is reasonable and realistic for you. And then just maintain your energy levels. So do whatever it takes for you to get to that full place. So depending on where you're at, that's gonna take more or less. If you're already pretty close to full, then maybe this is a good starting point, or perhaps you just do a little bit to help yourself to really feel at your best. Or if you're closer to empty as a starting point, then it might be a bit more of a project. It might take more commitment. So perhaps it's about just living really deliberately for a month in terms of doing all of the things that you know do support you to feel well, to feel your best. Maybe it is about planning a holiday or going away for a weekend or something to just really top yourself up to get to that full place.

Do the things that you know you can do to get your tank full or at least close to full, and then be vigilant about keeping it topped up. Keep an eye on that gauge and notice when it's starts to come off full rather than waiting until it's all the way empty. And when you see it's coming off of full, then you put in the $5 worth, you put in the $7 worth so you don't have to pay for a full tank every time.

You're not doing these huge swings, but just these little things that might be as simple as an early night or making sure you drink some more water or doing a day of life at min to just get your head around things and to start to feel more on top of things rather than closing your business or taking three months off or anything big and drastic like that, that can be required if you find yourself running completely on empty.

I understand that me saying, get yourself to full and then go from there is no small thing in itself. And that might feel unrealistic or it might even just feel like, I don't even know what that is. I don't know what full even feels like. So you could take it on. It would be time well spent and energy well invested to really work on building up your feeling of well-being and having your cup full and feeling energized. Another approach that you could take is when you know you've got a holiday coming up or you know you've got something that will really fill your cup, to just get to that point, and when you come back from that, let that become your baseline. That's the feeling of fullness that you want to maintain and get really protective about that. So perhaps you come home from a holiday and you just feel what it is to feel really alive, really good in yourself, and just choose not to let that go.

Of course, life does its thing and your energy isn't gonna stay completely on full the whole time, but keep an eye on it and notice when it's just dropped down a little bit and top back up.

I shared before that somehow I went from someone going back to the actual car analogy, someone who was keeping their tank full all the time, to someone who has various different experiences of running out of petrol. Somehow, I went from one to the other. Try not to do that. Try to once you- find that feeling of fullness, and I'm sure that you know it, even if it's a bit of a distant memory or you have to work a bit to create that for yourself.

Again, once you have a feeling of that, get really protective about it and don't let yourself become someone who ends up just coming off the bottom on a regular basis and with the potential of actually burning out and really having to deal with the consequences of that.

Of course, I'm speaking about the things that are within your power, and life is not entirely in our control. And so things will happen that will really deplete your tank, and you won't get to decide that. But if you are letting yourself already run right on empty or close to empty, then when those life things come along, we're closer to running out completely.

Whereas if you, within the realm of possibility and the realm of your control can keep yourself as full as you can be, then you're in a position where when those life things do come along, you've got some more in reserve, not gonna hit empty quite as easily. 

One last analogy or metaphor, I always get those two mixed up. I had another car related issue where when the alight went on on my dashboard, my first instinct would be there's something wrong with the light. This light keeps playing up. It keeps on flashing oil, oil. Rather than that, I might be actually running low on oil. I'd be like the warning system is wrong. 

So let me encourage you to get to know your own warning system. The warnings that your body gives you to when there is some attention needed and when you do need to replenish and to support yourself in some way to feel better, feel more like you, and trust that. 

So rather than just like, ah, doesn't matter about that light, or, oh, there's something wrong with that light, actually pay attention to it.

Listen to what it might be warning you about and do what you can do to bring yourself back to full and to fill up whatever needs to be filled up so that that light goes away.

So here are some questions that you might like to reflect on, perhaps get outta journal and take some time with them. The first one is, how do you know when your tank is full? What does that feel like in your body? What are the signs? The next question is what are the signs when it's less than full? How do you know that you've dropped down in your tank, and what are the signs that you are really running low close to running on empty?

Have you experienced that before? What are the things for you to look out for there? And finally, what are the things that you can do to maintain a full tank? The things that you can do to fill up your tank and then to keep it full.

I hope that this episode has been helpful for you, giving you something to think about. I hope that you don't run outta petrol anytime soon. And I don't know whether I want to wish for you that if you do, you have one of the glorious runs that I had to get to the server and fill back up.

It was fun as a one-off, but I don't recommend it as a lifestyle.

And it doesn't support the overall message that I'm trying to share here in this episode, does it? All the fun stories aside, burnout is really not fun. And while you might be okay feeling like you can kind of flirt with burnout, play around the edges of it, I really want to encourage you just not to.

You deserve so much better than that.

Okay my friend. Loads of love to you. I look forward to chatting to you next week. See ya.