Dames & Dragons 12. Into Avelis (Part 3) ft. Hannah Culbert

In the middle of a desert, oases and marketplaces alike are unlikely. Laika haggles for food and meets a new friend whilst Corbin and Fran sell their spoils. And even now, far from home, an ancient darkness rears its head.

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✂️ Ep. 12 Outtakes & Extras ✂️ 

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Transcript

Dames and Dragons

DUNGEON MASTER/NPCs: Kat

FRAN THE WATER-SOUL GENASI WIZARD is played by Noel

LAIKA THE TIEFLING PALADIN is played by Sophia

CORBIN THE HUMAN DRUID is played by Kaitlin

SHA THE ELF PROFESSOR is played by Hannah 

Dames and Dragons Transcript Episode 12: Into Avelis (Part 3)

[‘Pre-Roll Fairy’ from ‘Miscellaneous Round-Up 1/2021’ begins playing]

Noel: [sounding incredibly fairy-like] Hail, listeners. Dames and Dragons is brought to you today and every day henceforth by Don't Split The Podcast Network. They make podcasts about games: table-top, video, and board. But don't you dare bring up sports games! Uttering such a curse will bring down a pox upon your household. Dames and Dragons is the newest addition to this gaming podcast network. So check them out at dontsplitthepodcastnetwork.com. And now for your regularly scheduled episode.

[‘Pre-Roll Fairy’ from ‘Miscellaneous Round-Up 1/2021’ concludes playing]

[Sophia begins beatboxing poorly]

Kat: [rapping] It's Hannah Culbert, she's the king of the school. [Kat becomes British] She's better than everybody in the school. She's hip and she's awesome, all the girls know her name. H-h-hannah Cu-u-lbert that is her name. [in normal voice] It's Hannah Culbert everyone!

[Sophia stops ‘beatboxing’]

[cheers and applause]

Kat: Ahhhhhh!

Hannah: Oh my God, it's such an honor.

Kat: Ahh, yes. So this is our great friend Hannah Culbert, she is gonna be a guest voice on today's episode. You may have heard her voice if you listened to our Q and A, delivering those delicious Q's for us. Being super A-sy.

[laughter]

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Noel: Heyyy, nice.

Sophia: A-sy.

Kat: Hannah, tell us about yourself and your dreams, and your hopes.

Hannah: Okay, well, I was born in a log cabin. 

[laughter] 

Hannah: Um, I'm a dirty little goblin and I like to make art and I went to school with these fools. And so—

Kat: She's the king of the school.

Hannah: I was—I am still the king of the school. I may be a twenty-five-year-old adult but I'm still the king of that school. Let me tell you.

Noel: Revel in them glory days.

Hannah: Yep. I've never gotten over it. 

[laughter]

Kat: Alright, thanks Hannah, for that beautiful serenade of your life story. So let's—let’s play D&D.

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ plays and then fades out] 

Kat: [scatting] Do-do-do do-do-do-do-do-do. I don't know—

Noel: That's exactly how our song sounds.

[laughter]

Kat: Hi, I'm Kat. I'm your DM.

Kaitlin: Oh, hi. I'm Kaitlin. I'm mentally present. I play Corbin who’s a druid and a human, and is level five.

Sophia: Hello, I am Sophia and I play Laika, a tiefling paladin. And they are level five.

Noel: And are you mentally present?

Sophia: I am, uhhh... not mentally present, but I am physically present.

Kat: Yeah, I can see that, you're sitting across this table.

Sophia: Yeah.

Kat: Thanks for the update.

Noel: Hi, I am Noel. I play Fran, who is a water-soul genasi wizard. Like I said last time, I am ten levels ahead of everyone else. But I just—I'm really bad at playing D&D. I'm mentally present, but... not physically?

Kaitlin: Mmm.

Kat: That's spooky. Who's there? Who's sitting over there then? Who is that?

Noel: Just a—just a incorporeal cloud man.

Kat: Jesus.

Sophia: Hey, cloud man.

Kaitlin: The smoke monster from Lost.

Kat: Yes. Alright, so Corbin and Fran, last time after you uhh, died, you woke up in a band of orcs who seemed to be very friendly. And you subsequently discovered that you do not speak the language of the world below. You cannot understand anyone, and they had rescued you from the clutches of the bulette. You used your magic which they didn't seem to know about and you believe that you convinced them you are gods. 

While you were traveling with the orcs across the desert, you found the top of Estra's library. You found Luelle, the receptionist that you had met before, and she was crushed under a bookcase and you were unable to save her. However, together you and the orcs saved as many of the books as you could from the ruins of the Estra library before speeding off into the desert.

Meanwhile, Laika, you chose to save Zarun, your elder wolf, your giant grandpa. And you started your trek into the desert with Zarun, Gingie and still unconscious Goddess. You were starving, extremely dehydrated, before you found an oasis where you were greeted by a camel. It said: 

Camel: What... are... you?

Kat: I'm gonna explain, it's cause you have those amulets.

[noises of collective realisation]

Kat: You have amulets that let you talk to animals!

Sophia: Oh, that's so cool!

Kat: But it's not really like—it doesn't sound the same as when you're speaking with Gingie and you hear Gingie's thoughts. Like, you can tell what it's thinking but it's not really words. And it feels very weird in your brain like you're having a lot of trouble wrapping your brain around this.

And while you're staring at this camel, which you've never seen before—you don't know what this thing is—a second one comes over and starts nosing at the Goddess. Zarun immediately gets up and steps over the Goddess, and his hackles are raised. He's growling at this creature. And it scampers back. It's about this point that you realise, all around you, are people. During the night, dozens of caravans have arrived and they're setting up a marketplace.

Sophia: Just around the oasis?

Kat: Yeah!

Sophia: Alright. Well, I get up and I say:

Laika: Land ho!

Kat: Zarun, he looks at you and goes—

Zarun: This is not the time for jokes.

Laika: Grandpa, I'm not joking. This is very serious. Just keep your cool and let's get the Goddess back up on ya.

Sophia: Are the people around us—are they human?

Kat: There's a mix. There are humans, there are a few scattered elves. You see a couple halflings, a gnome. Mostly humans, but pretty diverse.

Sophia: Okay.

Kat: So the camels are continuing to nose around the Goddess and one of them is starting to lick at her hair and going—

Camel Two: Taste weird. Taste—

Laika: Not for eating, not for eating! Hi, it's nice to meet you. What are your camel guyses names?

Kat: So Camel One tilts its head and the other one continues to lick at the Goddess' face.

Sophia: Okay, I'm pulling the Goddess away. I'm picking her up.

[‘angelic goddess etc’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Kat: So as you go to grab her, her eyes open. And she looks up at you. At first it seems like she doesn't quite recognise you, and then she sits up very slowly, and the camel is continuing to lick her face. So she shoves this camel away from her and she starts to sign to you, and then remembers that you can't understand her sign language.

Laika: So here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna give me a thumbs up for yes, a thumbs down for no, and then we'll—you can teach me along the way. We'll figure this out but I need to ask you some quick questions. Okay?

Kat: The Goddess is—you can tell she's listening but she's looking around. Slowly at first, and nodding as you speak.

Sophia: Can I make a medicine check on her?

Kat: Sure, yeah!

[dice roll]

Sophia: Okay. Eleven.

Kat: You bend down and check her pulse and check her—see where her temperature is at core—core temperature is at wise. Considering you do remember last time when she passed out, she was ice cold. Her temperature is up. It's actually pretty high, but it is also—you are in a desert. She doesn't seem to have any external injuries but she's dazed.

Sophia: So I'm going to say to Zarun:

Laika: Grandpa, keep an eye on the Goddess. I'm gonna go talk to these people.

Kat: The Goddess grabs your hand before you try and go.

Sophia: Yeah.

Kat: And she very slowly, and her hands are very shaky, but she writes in the air with this golden light. And what she writes to you is:

The Goddess: Where are we?

Laika: That's what I'm trying to find out but we're on the world below. Do you remember Estra falling?

Kat: She writes out slowly again:

The Goddess: Estra is gone, isn't it?

Laika: Yes, well as far as I know. But we got separated from everyone else, it's possible there are more survivors.

Kat: She grits her teeth and tries to stand up. And she's wiping tears away from her eyes, but she can't quite support herself. She's still so weak so Zarun, he puts himself under her and he says:

Zarun: My Goddess, climb on my back. I will carry you.

Kat: And at first she doesn't want to do this, and she tries to stand again. But she just can't do it so she reluctantly climbs onto his back and she motions to you to lead the way.

Sophia: Okay. Alright.

Laika: I just want to say, you know, we're going to figure out what happened and do what we can. This isn't your fault, it's Torva's fault and—

Kat: She shakes her head and sort of holds up a hand just to stop.

[‘angelic goddess etc’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ concludes playing]

Sophia: Right. Okay.

Laika: Listen, I'm sixteen, probably, I can't remember but anyways I'm just a teen girl. I'm trying to deal with all this shit. I lost my home too and just know that I'm still following my duty to protect you as your guardian but I'm also freaking out losing my mind but it's totally cool and we'll deal with this later. Please ride my giant grandpa—

[laughter] 

Laika: —and I will please... I will—I will take care of this.

Sophia: I lead the way to go introduce ourselves.

Kat: Before you walk away—

Sophia: Yeah.

Kat: The Goddess reaches out. And she grabs your hand and she gives it a squeeze.

Sophia: Okay. I die inside and I just act really cool and nonchalant and keep walking.

Kat: Okay. So there are about a dozen caravans setting up right now. Six of those caravans are entirely human—

Sophia: [excitedly] Do I see any tieflings?

Kat: No. 

Sophia: So I don't know if tieflings exist here.

Kat: Well people are definitely giving you some side long looks but no one's approaching you.

Sophia: I'm waving to them. Whenever someone looks at me or makes eye contact.

Kat: So what you do, you make eye contact with a human child and she waves at you really excitedly and then a woman comes and grabs the girl’s waving hand and sort of steers her away.

Laika: Cool.

Sophia: So I'm going to go up to just the closest person then.

Kat: Okay so, this is a human man. He sort of looks at you and he says something but you do not understand him.

Sophia: I say:

Laika: Hello!

Kat: He gives you a weird look and he says something else but again you do not know what he's saying.

Sophia: I say;

Laika: [makes a real guttural noise]

Sophia: In infernal.

Kat: Doesn't understand. And actually I'm going to have you make—roll an Intelligence check.

[dice roll] 

Sophia: [surprised] Oh! That’s a natural twenty. 

[impressed chatter in the background]

Kat: Okay! So you realise as you're listening to him speak, it's like you can almost understand him. It's like—you feel like you should be able to understand this language but you just can't. It doesn't sound right to you. And you can understand some words but they don't seem like they're the words that would be in this context. And it's very perplexing.

Sophia: Okay. That’s great. I’m—In that case. I’m gonna go back to the camels. 

Kat: Okay! The camels that are tied up by the oasis, drinking some water, munching on some leaves and they look at you as you come over. They say:

Camel: You. You! Different? You. Different!

Laika: Me! Different.

Camel: Food?

Laika: Uhhh. I have nothing and I’m—maybe later! Anyways. So, you're the only being that I can understand here. What did you say—you guys are Campbell? Campbell and Soup?

Camel: Water.

Laika: Alright so you guys—your species is water. I understand. Anyways. So here's basically what I need to ask you: we are from a world—a different world then this one. A world above yours. Floating island.

Sophia: And I point to the water and say:

Laika: That, uhh—thats not gonna help you. Shit. This is hard to explain. Let's just say we come from a different land. We didn't think there was any one who lived here. Can you tell me what you know about this world?

Kat: The camel looks at the other camel and the second camel comes over and it starts licking the Goddess again. And it says:

Camel: Salty. Good.

Laika: Okay. That is informative. Thank you. 

Camel: Man… get food. 

Laika: Where’s your man? I would love to meet him.

Camel: Man… man.

Laika: [slightly exhausted] Okay.

Sophia: Can the Goddess understand this?

Laika: Do you understand this?

Kat: She shakes her head. She doesn't have the amulets that you guys have.

Sophia: Right.

Kat: She can understand the greater beasts innately. But…

Laika: So, so far what I have is a communication barrier of language. Sort of similar to the one that we are having. A little less worse. I mean—shit—it’s—ours is better. We’re getting somewhere—

Kat: She holds up a hand just to like—‘I get what you’re saying.’

Laika: Okay.

Kat: So one camel looks at the other camel and says:

[‘don’t know don’t know don’t know’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Camel One: Food?

Kat: And the second camel goes:

Camel Two: Man, food.

Kat: And then they look off into the caravan-market.

Laika: Again, incredibly helpful. Just—thank you. 

Sophia: I'm gonna go on that and walk in that direction.

Kat: Well—as you're walking in that direction—and people have, they’ve gotten their shops set up now or they’re getting closer to that. And people are starting to mill about more and look at each other's wares and you see more caravans are arriving. This market is getting really busy really fast. And then you smell it. Food. You smell food and it smells so good because all you have had is lizard, for like two days. And Zarun immediately picks up that scent and heading towards it. 

Laika: Grandpa, chill out we’re gonna get there.

Kat: He just sort of grumbles something. He’s got his nose to the ground sniffing out the food.

Sophia: He’s a little hangry. 

Kat: He’s possibly a little hangry. I mean he’s an enormous wolf and all he’s had is a part of a lizard.

Sophia: Yeah.

Kat: As you’re wandering around this market and getting closer to this food smell, people start calling out to you. There are people who are sort of barking different words that you and offering you things. 

[‘don’t know don’t know don’t know’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ concludes playing]

Kat: One man, he grabs your hand, as you're passing by and he puts a bracelet on your wrist. And he says something and he holds out a hand to you.

Sophia: I give him a high-five.

Kat: He starts to get angry. And he starts yelling at you and he grabs the bracelet off your wrist.

Sophia: I say sorry even though I know he can't understand me ‘cause I'm scared and I quickly walk away.

Kat: Before you walk away the goddess takes this man's hand as Zarun passes and—it's the thing that she does. You know, she takes someone's hand and gives them that peaceful look and they calm down?

Sophia: Yeah.

Kat: Only this doesn't work. The man rips his hand away from hers and he starts shouting at her and she's taken aback. Her eyes go wide and she just shrinks back.

Sophia: I just say:

Laika: It’s okay, we’re just having some… some culture shock. This is fine.

Sophia: And I just quickly walk away.

Kat: Okay, the Goddess follows you—the Goddess and Zarun. Where's Gingie by the way? 

Sophia: Gingie’s just following. I assume.

Kat: Okay.

Sophia: Unless she’s off doing something else.

Kat: I don’t know she’s your wolf.

Sophia: I guess my one instruction would be if you hear someone that can speak the same language as we can let me know.

Kat: Okay. After not too long you do get to the food tent. It's a big open canopy and several grills have been set up and people are—when I say grills it's more like it's a hot stone over an open fire. So they’re grilling kebabs, there's little fruit pies being made, hand fruit pies that are made on these open flames. Oh! And there's also these steamed leaves full of meat and vegetables and it just all smells so good. What do you want to do?

Sophia: I’m gonna buy food for us.

Kat: What do you want to buy?

Sophia: I’ll go for the meat and vegetables, the kebab and the fruit pies.

Kat: All of it?

Sophia: We can share amongst ourselves.

Kat: Okay. So one each—

Sophia: Whats—I gotta figure out what's the cheapest. 

Kat: Okay.

Sophia: What—actually. What's the biggest line?

Kat: It’s pretty early in the day still. So there aren’t very many people sitting around eating. There aren’t any lines yet. It looks like people are really just starting to get going with their cooking. So how do you want to figure this out?

Sophia: I’m just gonna walk up to the steamed meat place and point at it. 

Kat: So you point at it and the woman behind the stall, she holds up three fingers.

Sophia: I pull out three gold pieces.

Kat: So the woman looks at you and her eyes go so wide. 

Sophia: [realising her grave mistake] I take two back and I offer one gold piece!

[laughter]

Kat: She looks at you and she shakes her head. She holds up three fingers again. 

Sophia: I’m gonna roll Charisma!

Kat: [through giggles] Okay.

Sophia: I’m gonna do a backflip.

Kat: [uncomprehending the non sequitur] What?

[giggles in the background]

Hannah: [slightly muffled, slightly flummoxed, slightly delighted] Why?

[dice roll]

Noel: [away from mic] My god. 

Sophia: Alright, that is twenty-one.

[Kat wheezes]

Kat: Okay. You do this and she looks unamused, but also sick of you. So she hands you a very small meat and vegetable steam and hands it to you, takes your gold piece and walks away.

Sophia: [happy with herself] Alright! Great. Well, I got one. I give it to Zarun and then I move to the kebab stall. 

Kat: Zarun just eats that in one bite. 

Sophia: Yeah I’m sure. He's gonna eat a lot. He’s a grandpa. Anyways, I’m gonna go up to the kebab stall and try and work my charms once again with some knowledge now.

Kat: Okay, so what do you offer them?

Sophia: I just want to see, what are other people using?

Kat: There aren’t many people here so you don’t have a tone of opportunity to observe. But you see that the coins that are being used are roughly the equivalent size of a quarter. They're silvery and they're kind of opalescent but you can't figure out what they are.

Sophia: Well I’m gonna use what I got then. So I go up and put down one gold piece.

Kat: The guy's eyes go very wide. 

Sophia: And I say ‘Three.’ With my hands.

Kat: Why don’t you roll persuasion, I guess.

[doce rolls]

Sophia: Well I have plus six persuasion so that's eleven.

Kat: Kay. He looks at you and he looks you up and down and he shakes his head. He holds up—he points out your golf piece and he holds up four fingers.

Sophia: I shake my head, ‘No.’ And I turn around and I start to walk away and I’m looking at the fruit seller like, ‘I’m gonna go there instead.’

Kat: He calls after you and he beckons you back. 

Sophia: I come back.

Kat: He takes your gold piece and he hands you one skewer. 

Sophia: I say ‘Look over there!’. I’m gonna to—

[dissolves into giggles]

Kat: You wanna roll deception?

Sophia: Deception! Yeah. 

[dice roll]

Sophia: That's twenty-two.

Kat: Okay yeah you do it. He looks over there—

Sophia: And I want to grab three kebabs.

Kat: And you grab three kebabs—

Sophia: And then I walk away.

Kat: —and you walk away. As you're walking away with your spoils, and you, I assume, give one to the Goddess—

Laika: One to Gingie and I split mine with Zarun.

Kat: Aw you’re good. So as you three—you four are splitting your spoils, you hear something that you understand, finally.

???: [Fancy-boy voice] Good morrow, travellers!

[Sophia cackles]

[‘Cheery Harumph’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Sophia: [through giggles] I’m not ready for this.

Laika: Oh my god. Hi.

Kat: The person who approaches you, he was sitting—he’s sitting at one of the long tables with a stack of books. And a lovely breakfast set out before him. He beckons you over to his table.

Sophia: We go, ‘cause I see that breakfast and I hear our shared language.

Kat: Hannah, why don’t you describe what you look like.

Hannah: Okay, I’m tall. I’m an elf. I’m in scholar's robes and I have a pointed hat, but it doesn’t have a brim. So it’s more like a David the Gnome, kinda hat.

Kat: So a cone—cone hat.

Hannah: Yeah. And he has a dumb, goofy smile and is a big nerd, alright? That’s your—

Sophia: Does he have glasses?

Hannah: Yes. 

Sophia: Alright cool. Like little round ones? Or—

Hannah: Yes. 

Sophia: Big nerd square one?

Hannah: Little round ones. 

Kat: Something else, actually. You are wearing a sash. A brilliant red sash with the symbol of two birds with their wings spread in opposite directions and a arcane rune in the centre.

Hannah: Yeah I would be wearing that.

Kat: Yeah. It’s the symbol of your university. 

Sophia: So we walk over and I say:

Laika: Oh my god. I can understand you.

Unnamed elven nerd: Yes I was quite surprised to hear your dialect here. 

Laika: Where are—where are we?

Unnamed elven nerd: Uh—well. Specifically? Or—

Laika: In jus—yeah. Specifically. And who are—how can you understand me?

Unnamed elven nerd: Oh well, I assume you’re a fellow scholar? Are you not? You’re speaking the old tongue.

Laika: Oh… okay. 

Sophia: I’m just gonna sit down. I’m not even gonna let you invite me. I just sit down and I’m just gonna have the Goddess and we’re gonna start eating your breakfast.

Kat: Yeah, the Goddess, she sort of slides off of Zarun’s back and onto the bench and Zarun comes over to sit next to the man. And he sits uncomfortably close. 

[‘Cheery Harumph’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ concludes playing]

Hannah: Alright, I’m into it. 

Laika: So, I’m not an old language. This is the only language I know.

Unnamed elven nerd: I suspected that might be a possibility as well. You—you didn’t come from… It’s ridiculous but—you’re not from the fallen island, are you?

Laika: Yes! How do you know—you know about us?

Unnamed elven nerd: Well, it was quite loud. As it had been loud as a thunderclap, really. People were quite shocked by the event. Y’know, A lot of shit came down, you know?

Laika: You saw it.

Unnamed elven nerd: Yeah people saw that. 

Laika: Did you know we existed before you saw the explosion?

Unnamed elven nerd: There had been legends spoken of only… but now...

Laika: We didn’t know that there was anybody on the world below. We were told that everything had been destroyed. That Torva burned the world below and the Goddess—

Sophia: And I look over at the Goddess and then I look away. ‘Cause I’m like, maybe I don’t want to reveal that yet. 

Laika: Our Goddess, who was the leader of Estra. She raised us up. She protected the last survivors. And we’ve lived there for two-thousand years. How long have you been here?

Unnamed elven nerd: I could ask you the same thing. 

Laika: One day.

[the unnamed elven nerd laughs]

Unnamed elven nerd: Alright. We thought that Estra was only a legend. We weren't aware at all of the floating island as a matter of fact until you came crashing down. I mean, not you specifically, but you—you get the idea.

Laika: I gotcha. 

Unnamed elven nerd: Anyway. Holy shit though—you gonna—you gonna talk to me about this really big, like, mammal? That you’ve—

Laika: Yeah, yeah. What’s your name?

Unnamed elven nerd: Oh! I’m Professor Sha Aleliaz Callio.

[Hannah draws the ‘L’ part in ‘Callio’ really long]

[Noel loses her shit laughing away from the mic]

Hannah: I’m not changing it. That’s canon now. 

Kat: Okay.

Laika: Do you have a nickname?

Sha: You can just call me Sha. 

Laika: That’s great. Sha. I’m Laika and this is—this is Zarun, this is Gingie and this… [faltering because she doesn't want to reveal the Goddess] my friend… Mmmm... Ma… eri. 

Sophia: I point to the Goddess.

Kat: The Goddess, she looks at you for a minute and sort of nods quickly. Like, ‘Yeah, yeah. Sure. That’s my name. Yeah.’

Laika: This is Maeri. 

Sha: ‘Tis a great pleasure to meet all of you. That sounds normal. 

[laughter]

Laika: It—doesn’t it, though? It’s all really normal. So Sha, you’re—

Sophia: I point to the books.

Laika: You’re a li—You like… libraries? You—

Sha: [gradually gets more excited as he talks] I’m a professor. Yes. Books are quite important to me in my field. I can’t believe though, I’m getting the opportunity to meet someone from the fallen island who speaks the old tongue. I mean, there's so much linguistic knowledge you must have. I cannot wait to get right into it with you!

Laika: I’m gonna let you down, because I’m probably not the best person to be talking to about this stuff. 

Sha: Oh, surely you must be. Your voice is like crystals… falling from a—from a goblet. Made of… spiders silk.

[raucous laughter]

Laika: You are a really polite liar and I appreciate that about you. 

Sha: Thank you.

Laika: And your voice is like a beautiful home-made muffin. Because it’s familiar to me, so I like that. 

Sha: Good. Tell me, were you injured in the fall? Your wings, what happened?

Laika: My wings?

Sha: Forgive me if I presume, but you’re a tiefling. Are you not?

Laika: Yeah.

Sha: So where are your wings?

Laika: I’m not a crow. I think you’ve got me mistaken for a crow.

Sha: I’m afraid that it is you who are mistaken, young lad. For—

Laika: I’m pretty sure I know a crow when I see one. 

Sha: Well I’ve seen a fair amount of tieflings in my day and I’ve read many a tome. 

Laika: My best friend is a crow, so I think I would no.

Gingie: [affronted] Wait. Corbin’s your best friend?

Laika: No. I’m just kidding. My second best friend. Gingie, you’re my one true best friend. 

Kat: She nods and takes a big bite out of your breakfast, Sha. 

[laughter]

Hannah: I’m like:

Sha: Well that's—that happened. Alright.

Laika: You think I have wings?

Sha: Well the tieflings here at least all do. I’ve never seen a tiefling without them.

Laika: Huh. That’s… genetic evolution. Something went weird there. Interesting. What about humans? Do humans have wings?

Sha: No, humans don’t have wings, generally speaking. 

Laika: And you’re an elf? Where are you from?

Sha: Well originally I’m from Ilfra. But I was—well. I’m a professor, I actually have linguistics at the University of Madrea. Though I don’t suppose that helps you too much, seeing as you just fell from an island in the sky. 

Laika: Is it all like this? Desert?

Sha: Desert? No. Certainly not! What kind of shitty planet would that be?

[laughter]

Laika: Really, really dumb.

Sha: No. Yes, our world is far greater than this desert. I mean, I suppose being from a floating island couldn't have been terribly large. But this world—I mean, it’s the world. It’s quite large. There’s deserts, there's mountains, oceans. I don’t suppose you’d be familiar with those, though would you?

Laika: I know of some of that in theory but I’ve never seen that before. 

Sha: I beseech thee, how—how is it that you and this strange party have come together and come here?

Laika: Well we landed in the ocean and I mean—well it is probably pretty lucky we survived. And we made it to the shore...

Sophia: And I kind of look at Zarun, ‘cause I’m like, there's information I don’t know if I want to share yet. 

Kat: Yeah. Zarun, he gives you a nod. Like, ‘Yeah, you’re doing the right thing not sharing all this information.’.

Sophia: Okay, and I just say:

Laika: So yeah. We made it through the desert and we found this oasis and all these caravans started showing up and you’re the first person I’ve seen—all these people—I told you, I didn’t know anyone was alive here. But I’m really grateful you are because I’m sixteen or seventeen, I can’t remember, and this is very traumatizing. 

Uh, Sha, you didn’t happen to see any other survivors did you? Come from the sky?

Sha: Uh well… survivours. Well I haven’t seen anyone like you. If that's what you mean. The way that you’re dressed and your manner of speaking, I have never encountered anyone before, who had such peculiarities. 

Laika: Huh. So, why are you here? Are you studying?

Sha: Yae, well I was travelling with my field research group and I heard tell of goblin texts which were being sold by a group of merchants here at the market, so I split off. I simply had to get my hands on them. Being a professor of linguistics, I was quite eager to see what I could learn from them. 

Laika: Huh. What do goblins have that is—

Sha: Well they have a language. I study languages. That's what linguistics means.

Laika: That’s cool. So what language is everybody speaking around here?

Sha: Here? Well they’re speaking Common. 

Laika: Am I speaking Old Common?

Sha: Old As Balls Common, more like. 

Laika: Does everybody speak this Common? Nobody speaks Old As Balls Common unless they’re a scholar?

Sha: Uh, basically yeah.

Laika: That’s gonna make things difficult. What about this?

Sophia: And I show him my gold coin.

Laika: You guys don’t use this, right?

Sha: Gold?

Laika: Yeah, what’s your money system?

Sha: How much gold do you have?

Sophia: I show him my gold.

Sha: Daaaang.

[laughter]

Sha: Were you a nobleman on this island?

Laika: … No, just a guy.

Sha: Good lord!

Sophia: I put my gold away really quickly. And I’m like:

Laika: So what’s the exchange rate for one gold piece?

Sha: Ah one gold that’s like, what…

Kat: That is twenty-five silver.

Laika: How much is a kebab worth?

Sha: A kebab? Well, half a silver I suppose. 

Laika: Oh my fucking god. 

Sophia: I look at the two sellers and I just point at my eyes and I point at them and I shake my head and I pull my finger across my throat. 

Kat: Yeah they’re not paying attention to you. 

Sophia: I do it anyways!

Sha: You paid for kebabs with gold?

Laika: I haggled as best I could, my guy.

Sha: I liketh the cut of your jib.

Laika: Thankyou. So where are you going? Are you leaving now?

Sha: Well, once I collect the texts, I was going to visit the ruins. Perhaps—you must have a great deal of knowledge about Estra. You could tell me all about the texts and tomes which may have fallen from you island, yes?

Laika: [audibly cringing] Yeah, I’m not the best resource but I can do what I can. In trade, can you try and teach me and my friend… Maeri, some of this New Common language?

Sha: Well I can try, it is my field of study. Though I don’t know if I’m much of a teacher.

Laika: Shhaaaa, c’mon.

Sha: They do say, ‘The greatest scholars be not always the wisest persons.’ But uh—

Laika: Uh, yeah. I’ve heard that, definitely. 

Sha: I could give it a shot.

Laika: I believe in you Sha and also you’re my only choice so that is part of that too.

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ (interlude music) begins playing ]

Sha: Ah, I must acquire these texts, it’s quite important. So perhaps after lunch?

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ (interlude music) continues and then fades into mid-roll]

Noel: Hello and welcome to this, it’s me Noel!

[moment of silence]

Kaitlin: [remembering they have to say something] Oh, hi! I’m here too, my name is Kaitlin.

Noel: That’s Kaitlin’s name! She’s joining us via satellite.

Kaitlin: I’m literally in a satellite, orbiting above planet Earth right now and I am joining via that.

Noel: She’s beaming down. So yeah, as you may have heard from the incredible and very serious announcement at the beginning of this episode, we have joined a podcast network. We are very excited about it, basically this means we’ll probably be having some sponsorships and we’ll also be advertising for other podcasts on the network. And who else brought us our podcast today, Kaitlin?

[Kaitlin delivers a fun advertisement for Audible]

Kaitlin: ...So yeah. Go check out audible.com. It seems really cool.

Noel: Thanks, Kaitlin. 

Kaitlin: You’re welcome.

Noel: I also want to thank our Patreon donors this month.

[Noel reads list of Patreon donors]

Noel: We cannot thank you guys enough for being so generous as to pledge your money so that we can keep producing Dames and Dragons. And hopefully at high and higher quality.

And next I just want to say a huge, huge thank you to our friend Hannah, who was kind enough to be our very first guest on the podcast. And played the wonderful character of Shaaaaa.

Hannah: Well gosh! Well thanks friends, it’s been an incredible honour to be here.

Noel: Do you want to plug your tumblr? And let people know what you're about?

Hannah: Um, yeah! I’m a big fan of the show and I’m an illustrator. If people wanna see my illustrations I am ‘diamondinthesnuff’ on Tumblr or you can follow me on twitter or instagram at ‘notevenlookbad’. 

Noel: And you should definitely do that, Hannah’s extremely talented.

Kaitlin: Hannah’s amazing!

Noel: And as you’ve already heard she’s hilarious and awesome. And also, Hannah, just even outside of your guesting here. We really appreciate your support of our podcast, it seriously means a lot, ‘cause you're one of the funniest people we all know, so. 

Kaitlin: That’s true. 

Kat: Yep.

Kaitlin: We all were extremely excited to have you and when Kat was like, Hannah’s gonna be our first guest, we all spontaneously imploded inside the group chat. 

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ (interlude music) begins playing ]

Hannah: [voice high and squeaky] Oh my god. Thanks, friends.

Noel: And now for a message to Chantel. The code-word is: James and Rudy!

Kat: The sleeper agent is active. Go!

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ (interlude music) continues and then fades into episode]

Kat: Corbin and Fran you have been on this slead for a long ass time. And your butts hurt and you have sand in your mouths and the goggles have left those super uncomfortable and dorky imprints on your faces. And you're starting to get pretty miserable. How you feeling? You guys can chat a little before we get into this.

Fran: [super awkwardly] Hey Corbin? How are you doing?

Corbin: Well Fran, I'm feeling pretty miserable.

Fran: [still awkwardly] I. Empathise!

[laughter]

Fran: [the awkwardness continues] I hope that you feel better soon.

Corbin: [just as awkwardly as Fran] Thank you, Fran. You… too.

[giggles]

Fran: I am also feeling bad. And I love to express myself to my friends. I consider us friends, Corbin. Aren't we friends?

Corbin: I love to have friends... who suffer with me. Through my hardships. Yes!

Fran: Argh! Relying on friends is so difficult!

Corbin: It sure is hard to have emmoootions.

Fran: Oooh, Cosu was wrong! I should have just kept it all to myself!

Corbin: What?

Fran: [now emotionally closed off] Nothing, never mind.

[‘don’t know don’t know don’t know’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Corbin: Fraaan!

Fran: No.

Corbin: Fran we’re friends. Friends don't keep secrets from friends.

Fran: Corbin just go fuck yourself.

Corbin: Fran I'm a teenage boy, don't make me take that literally.

[giggles]

Noel: Fran just holds up her goggles so they fill with sand and then puts them back on so she doesn’t have to see you. 

Kat: Corbin, you see up ahead of you, as you guys crest this huge dune, in the distance there is a colourful bustling market surrounding a large oasis. And the orcs around you begin pointing and shouting and whooping and hollering. The creatures pulling those sleds, they speed up as they see the water of a head and you have to sort of grab onto the sled to keep from bouncing off of it. 

It's a big, colourful marketplace. It's about midday at this point so things are in full swing here. As the orcs circle their sleds on the outskirts of the market, immediately the merchants closest to them begin to pack up their things and cast these—arch these side long glances. And they’re muttering dirty words as your band of orcs starts unloading their sleds. And you guys are able to get off of the book sled and finally stretch your legs in the hot, burning sands.

And then—as you are getting off and emptying the sand from your goggles, Fran, you notice that Nodrig and the white haired orc who was driving the sled full of books are getting into a pretty heated argument. 

[‘don’t know don’t know don’t know’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ concludes playing]

Kat: They're shouting at each other and at one point the white haired orc, she bares her teeth at him. And she spreads her arms out wide in front of the sled of books. And she will not budge.

Fran: If I had to put money on what they’re arguing about, I would say old Not-Rick over there is trying to sell those books. 

Corbin: I would wager the same bet.

Kat: As you guys are deducing this Nodrig, he backs off and he sort of shakes his head and tosses up his hands. But he goes over to the bone sled and he picks up that enormous jaw bone that he offered you guys the other day. And he comes over to you Fran and he holds it out to you and takes it back. Motioning like, ‘Do you want it? Or should I keep it?’.

Noel: I just take it. I guess we're both really weak, how big is this thing?

Kat: Oh yeah that thing is huge. You take it with you and it immediately drops to the ground. You did not realise how heavy this thing was. You can drag it behind you because it's sand, it's pretty easy to drag things through. But uh—

Noel: Like a travel suitcase, it’s fine.

Kat: But yeah, it’s super heavy though.

Noel: I say:

Fran: Corbin, help me drag this thing.

Kaitlin: I grab onto one of the teeth but I don't make any effort to pick it up or do anything. I just hold it.

Fran: I fucking hate you Corbin.

Corbin: [being deliberately annoying] What, Fran? I thought we were friends?

[Fran groans]

Kat: Nodrig tries again. He points to the jaw bone and then at the coins and then to you and then to himself and then to the coins and then you guys.

Noel: Jaw bones, the coin, self, us. 

Kat: Yeah, and then at the coins again. 

Kaitlin: Corbin points at the sky and at the dog-lizards.

[laughter]

Noel: Fran just points to her own smile that's very confused.

Kat: He looks behind him to where the orcs are starting to set up all of the different parts of the bulette and put them out for sale and he points at that.

Noel: Well let's just try to go sell it and let's see if he tries to take our money, I guess.

Kat: Are you just gonna go into the market dragging this thing behind you?

Noel: Well actually, lets bring it over to the place where they’re selling the rest of ‘em .

Kat: You set up with your enormous jaw bone next to the rest of the pile of bones. And the orcs who are manning the bone piles, they’re looking at you and they're kind confused but they seem like they’re just gonna go with it. 

Noel: I gesture magnanimously to our jaw bone. One great jaw bone. Like, what a great jaw bone. 

Kat: People start to very slowly approach the orc caravan and it seems to be only people who are very grizzled, very tough. They are not the shy or faint of heart types. So these big, brawny, burly people are looking at things and they’re pointing and haggling and it starts to get pretty aggressive. 

One man comes up and he's talking with the orcs selling bones and at a certain point the orc bares her teeth and bangs her chest with one fist and the man imitates and bangs his chest with two fists and then she gets up and screams at him. And he holds up his hands and then he hands her some money.

Noel: Can we see how much money it is?

Kat: Make a perception check.

[dice roll]

Noel: That’s an elven.

Kat: And Corbin, are you just not paying attention?

Kaitlin: No, I’m just watching, I’m letting Fran do as much work as possible.

[laughter]

Kaitlin: Should I also do a perception check?

Kat: If you want?

Kaitlin: Alright.

Kat: If this is something that you also want to pay attention to. 

[dice roll]

Kaitlin: Well that’s a two, so. Useless.

Kat: You can't tell exactly how much he hands her but it is a fairly substantial amount and he takes four ribs and the top jaw bone. And he leaves.

Noel: What do you mean by a fairly substantial amount? Like, two handfuls or a huge bag?

Kat: One small but heavy looking purse.

Noel: Okay.

Kat: After a little bit, someone does come up and he's looking at your fine jaw bone.

Noel: Oh I Vanna White it up.

[laughter]

Kat: He looks at you and he gives you sort of a once over.

Noel: Does he like my hair?

Kat: He definitely gets stuck on your hair on your hair for a second and then whatever's going through his mind, he decides to move past it. 

Kaitlin: Corbin does a cartwheel in front of the bone. 

Kat: Why don’t you make an athletics check?

Kaitlin: Alright. 

[dice roll] 

Kat: That’s nine.

Kat: Corbin, you attempt to do a cartwheel in front of the bone and you land on your arse in front of this guy's feet and sort of do a ‘Ta-da!’.

Kaitlin: I do snow angels in the sand.

Noel: And I Vanna White over Corbin as if he definitely meant to do that.

Kaitlin: Thank you.

Kat: He points at the jaw bone and holds up five fingers.

Noel: I shake my head and hold up fifteen fingers including a hand that is made of my hair.

Kat: The guy steps back and he says something. He looks at the orcs and he says something to the and they shake their heads. And so he looks at you again and he bares his teeth, the same way you saw earlier with the other man who was haggling with the orcs. He holds up six fingers.

Noel: I make two hands with my hair and now I’m holding up twenty fingers.

Kat: The guy pounds on his chest with both fists, bares his teeth and he holds up six fingers again.

Kaitlin: In response to that Corbin does the crow caw.

Noel: Can you please, can you please.

Kaitlin: Yeah.

[Kaitlin makes their ungodly crow noise]

Kat: The man laughs at you, he just laughs in you face and then he walks away.

Fran: Well that didn’t go very well. What do you think we did wrong? Was it the somersault? Was it the crow caw? Was it just your whole deal?

Corbin: Maybe it was just you holding up a bunch of fingers like an idiot.

Fran: Fingers are a great deal making method.

Corbin: Read the room! People are screaming at each other.

Fran: We’re not in a room! I’m confused.

Corbin: Fran!

Fran: Corbin!

Corbin: It’s a turn of phrase!

Fran: I just want to sell this jaw bone.

Kat: So as you guys are screaming at each other, the old lady, Dokella, comes up behind you. And she very gently puts a hand on your shoulder Fran and she holds up ten fingers. She points at jaw bone and holds up ten fingers.

Noel: Hmm okay. I give her a big smile.

Kat: Okay. So she points out to you, as another person is coming up. And she beckons that person over, very gently. Or at least gently for an orc. And that person comes over and he looks down at your jaw bone and looks at you guys. And again, he sort of gets stuck on your hair for a second and then just sort of moves past it. And he holds up seven fingers.

Noel: I hold up ten fingers and then have Corbin hold up two fingers.

Kaitlin: I do it. I hold up two fingers.

Kat: He bares his teeth at you and he holds up eight fingers.

Noel: I just start screaming. 

[laughter]

Kaitlin: Corbin beats his boob-window with his fist.

Noel: And then we hold up eleven fingers.

Kaitlin: Yeah.

Kat: Okay. He takes a step back and he’s like, sort of looking at the orcs and the orcs are all covering their mouths and looking away. Like they’re trying really hard not to laugh. 

Noel: They’re rude, we’re their gods.

Kst: But he takes a deep breath and he pounds on his chest with both fists and he screeeeaaams. And he holds up nine fingers and makes a ‘No more’ gesture. 

Noel: What’s he wearing?

Kat: He is wearing a light leather armour and a bandolier with daggers in it. 

Kaitlin: Corbin holds up nine fingers and points to his bandolier.

Noel: You get me. You get me.

Kaitlin: Yeah! I knew where you were goin’.

Kat: The guy grumbles for a minute and then he reaches back and unfastens his bandolier and hands you a heavy sack of coins. 

Corbin: Oh hell yeah.

Noel: Boom!

Corbin: Nailed it.

Kat: He takes the jaw bone and he lifts it pretty easily and slings it over his shoulder. He shakes his head and is muttering as he walks away. When you guys go to dump out this coinage, so if you were gonna estimate you would say it’s about nine-hundred coins.

Fran: Alright, well let's divide it up. And we’re gonna have to cut that bandolier in half. 

Corbin: Yeah that’s fine. 

Kaitlin: Do you just want to screw the bandolier?

Noel: Let’s do it down the middle. Let’s both wear it at the same time.

Kaitlin: Let’s strap ourselves together inside of it. Alright. Yes.

Kat: Is that canon? Is that what you're doing?

Noel: We don’t need to do it now.

Kaitlin: But that’s the plan for later.

Kat: What do you guys want to do? Now you have some money, you wanna go around the market? Or are you just gonna hang out with your orc friends?

Kaitlin: I’m gonna consult—

Corbin: My friend: Fran. What would you like to do?

Noel: Fran gets a shiver and then:

Fran: I think we should go pick out the books we want to keep and then tell them they can sell the rest if they want to?

Corbin: Sounds like a plan, Fran.

Fran: … Alright.

Noel: Let’s go—Is that white haired orc still there?

Kat: Yeah. She is standing guard in front of the books. She won’t let any of the orcs get close to it.

Noel: Let's go over to her and I try to go look through the books. Does she let me?

Kat: [affirmative] Mm-hm. She lets you.

Noel: So what kind of books all did we get? Did they get pretty much everything?

Kat: No. Not nearly everything. They had to leave a ton of it behind. I remember you specifically did find a couple of magic books. So I’m sure you want to grab those from the sled. 

Noel: Yeah. So I’ll get the magic books and—

Kaitlin: I have two questions. One, is there a language on Elvish book and then do I see any elves? Because I can speak Elvish, so if I saw an elf I might try to approach them and speak to them. 

Kat: Yeah. There is a book on Elvish, but it’s on Ancient Elvish. 

Kaitlin: Okay. 

Kat: So it’s not particularly useful to you right now. But yes there are elves in this market. There's not very many—and actually, again. I’m gonna have each of you make Intelligence checks.

[dice roll]

Noel: Sixteen.

Kaitlin: Mines less than that, it’s fifteen.

Noel: Mines more than that, it’s sixteen.

Kaitlin: Mines less than that, it’s fifteen

Kat: Fran, one of the things you notice as you’re looking at these elves. The elves look different than you know elves to look. Their ears are longer, their facial features are just a little less close to human. If you were gonna hazard a guess, where in Estra, everybody sort of intermingled and the races ended up looking more similar, here it seems that the races look very different and they have not intermingled at all.

And actually, as you’re looking at these elves, you realise, the person that you think of when you’re looking at them is actually Cecilia. The few times you saw her face, she looked more similar to these elves than she did to other elves in Estra.

Noel: [whispering] Oh my god. [stops whispering] Alright, good to know. Very fascinating, great job Kat. Okay. 

[laughter]

Kat: Jeez, okay. Don’t get too excited.

Noel: I’m angry.

Kat: That’s fine. That’s fine.

Noel: I just want to know. Sometimes you get angry when you don’t know things. 

Kaitlin: That’s real. So true. 

Sophia: [far away from mic] Did they see any smart looking elves?

Kaitlin: No. Do I see an elf that looks nice? Or approachable?

Kat: Yes. There's one merchant stall, where they're selling cloth and the woman out front seems very friendly.

Kaitlin: I want to go to her and I say hello to her in Elvish.

Kat: She sort of looks at you and looks sort of taken aback. And she repeats the word for ‘Hello’ back to you and then sort of stumblingly says:

Unnamed Elf woman: Do you… buy? The goods?

Kaitlin: I say ‘I need help,’ in Elvish.

Kat: She doesn't seem to understand.

Kaitlin: I say ‘I'm a poor urchin boy and I need help,’ I guess. 

Kat: She continues shaking her head and then she offers you some cloth.

Kaitlin: Aw. That's sweet. I shake my head.

Noel: Okay. We got our books. And I didn't really go with to the orc— the elf person. I gesture to the remaining books and I hold up the coin purse and I give a thumbs up to the white haired orc and see what she thinks about that.

Kat: She shakes her head viciously. Like, ‘No, no, no.’

Noel: I looked confused and like, ‘Why.’ But she doesn't know that.

Kat: Yeah. She just spreads her arms wide and she shakes her head. She is staying here with these books. That’s—end of her story. And Fran, while you were trying to ask the orc about the books, Corbin I'm gonna have you make a Wisdom check.

[dice roll]

Kaitlin: Nine plus six—fifteen. 

Kat: [scarily] Okay. 

Kat: As you’re just finishing up with the woman, a little girl takes your hand. 

[spooky music begins playing]

Kat: And you feel soft all the sudden. It's like your mind just sort of softens as she takes your hand. And without a second thought you're walking with this little girl.

[distressed noises from Kaitlin]

Kat: And as you're looking at her, at first he thinks she's really pale and then you realise she's covered in this white chalky paint. She has very pale fine hair that's down to her waist and on her forehead there is drawn, in red paint, a circle and a line through it that goes down her nose and over her lips and chin and down her neck and disappears under this shapeless brown tunic.

This girl, she leads you through the market. Out to the other side of it to a hastily assembled tent that seems to be neat the rubbish piles. And once you’re inside you see. On the floor of this tent, it’s completely empty except for a tarp and the body of a vulture. And this little girl picks up the body of the vulture. And I’m gonna have you make another Wisdom check.

Kaitlin: [afraid] Okay. [dice roll] That’s a ten.

Kat: Okay. That does not pass. You don’t quite understand but you feel this intense sensation of deja vu. And you take the vulture from her and you don’t even think about it. You break its neck. And you speak words that you don't understand and you have never heard before. 

Kaitlin: [very high and squeaky] ‘Kay.

Kat: You set the vulture back down on the tarp and for a minute it’s still. And then it twitches. And it raises its head. And it blinks it’s dead eyes at you. And it says,

[spooky music concludes playing]

???: [the voice is soft and whispery. Nearly not there] Hello. I’m sorry to approach you this way but I have no other choice. I am Vioni. I need your help. I knew you would not listen if I spoke directly to the ones who cannot hear like you can. Let me tell you my tale.

[‘piano piano’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Vioni: Two thousand years ago I thought I was in love. Torva cherished me, dedicated to his battles to myself and my followers. But in time I found that it was not love. He had conquered me and I was his prisoner. When he broke Dessit and let loose the world of flame I learned and knew that he could not be stopped. So I made a vessel he could not find. 

One that would change faces endlessly. My followers took bodies from every battlefield. We made this vessel in secret, for myself to inhabit. I hid among the refugees in Kai’s forest. And when she lifted us into the sky, I thought I had escaped.

But then, I was discovered. Even a vessel that changes faces cannot hide forever on an island that small. Even then I did not weep. For imprisoned in that place I was still far from his clutches. But he found me and I could not run.

[Vioni begins to gasp for breath between sentences] He cast me out of my vessel and sealed me in my realm. I cannot manifest unless I am summoned now. You must help me take it back. I know where he's hidden it. In a place far north of here, in the mountains. He has no use for it anymore. He does not want to be tied to one vessel now that his plan is done. 

But he still looks for her and her light shines brightly. With the vessel, in the mountain, he hides his spoils of war. There you will find a cloak that can hide godly light, made by Janbo the Mask Maker. It is the only thing that will hide her from him. He will hunt you down without it. Release my vessel to me and the cloak is yours.

[‘piano piano’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ concludes playing]

Kat: And then the vulture collapses again. And the girl approaches you with a map and hands it to you. The map is on black parchment and in white there is a mountain drawn. ‘Torva’s Jaws.’, you can see labeled in the peak of this mountain. 

Kaitlin: In like, Estra writing?

Kat: Yeah, in writing you can understand. The little girl hands this map to you and closes your hand around it. She then takes you by the arm and leads you out of the tent and back into the market and leaves you there. And then you wake up.

Kaitlin: Okay.

Kat: You feel like you’re suddenly in control of your body again.

Kaitlin: Do I remember that?

Kat: [cheerily] Yes, you do.

Kaitlin: [despondent] Oh. Uuuhhhhh. Uhhh hahahhaah.

Kat: Fran, from your perspective, Corbin has been missing for about twenty minutes now.

Noel: Twenty minutes?

Kat: Mm-hm.

Noel: Alright. He walked off by himself. He’s probably just checking out the culture. It’s fine.

Kaitlin: I start making my bird calls because I’m very scared and as a scared bird I just start to scream.

Kat: Actually, someone else hears that.

Kaitlin: Oh cool.

Kat: Laika, as you’re just parting ways with Sha, you hear these panicked bird cries that you have heard before. 

[Kaitlin makes the cursed ‘bird’ sounds]

Sophia: My eyes widen and I immediately—I say:

Laika: Come with me.

Sophia: And I start charging after—in the direction of Corbin. And I’m assuming everybodies gonna follow me.

Kat: Yeah. Everybody. The Goddess, the wolves. Everybody charges after you. 

Sophia: And I’m screaming ‘Corbin.’

Kaitlin: I’m still going: [several more bird noises]

Sophia: I start doing your crow caws back to you.

Kaitlin: Aw. I’m crying. 

Kat: Can we hear that?

[Sophia makes more gravelly, but still bad, bird noises]

Noel: I hear some wild stuff and I start coming over too because I’m like ‘What’s goin’ on?’ I hear Corbin and I also hear an imposter Corbin.

[‘beautiful owl (ending theme)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ begins playing]

Kat: It doesn’t take you very long through these crowds of people, your friend! It’s Corbin, standing there, sobbing, making crow calls.

Sophia: I charge him in a hug.

Kaitlin: Aw, I accept it. I go limp ‘cause I’m terrified. I cling to your little armour. 

Laika: I lift you above my head.

Kaitlin: Yes!

Noel: Oh my god. 

Kaitlin: Throw me!

Sophia: I throw you in the air and I catch you. 

Kat: Laika, make an athletics check. 

Sophia: Alright. [rolls dice] Uhh. Fail.

[laughter]

Kat: You grab Corbin, you throw him up over your head, and you are not as strong as you thought you were. Because you haven’t eat—I mean you’ve just eaten for the first time in days, your first substantial meal. And so you sort of toss him and he just falls directly on top of you and both of you go to the ground.

Sophia: I’m crying. 

Noel: I come up and I see this tableau and I just freeze. And my eyes are really wide and I say:

Fran: [kinda choked up] What did you do last night?

Laika: Barf.

[‘beautiful owl (ending theme)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ swells, plays and fades out]

Kat: Um. Da—Oh shoot what’s his name. I just put his name as ‘Dad Orc’ in my notes.

[Kaitlin laughs]

Noel: Dad—were you going to say ‘Dad Orc’?

Hannah: [away from mic] Da dork. 

Kat: I was—

[raucous laughter]

Kat: Because I didn’t—I didn’t have my notebook when I was writing this. I was writing on the bus. 

[various mutterings about ‘Dad Orc’]

Kat: Okay. No. So his—Nodrig. That was his name. Nodrig. So as you are getting off and emptying the sand from your goggles, Fran, Dad Orc—Goddamn it. 

[raucous laughter continues]

Noel: I’m so happy you guys. This is the best day of my life

[fade to music]

[ad for Venture Maidens plays]

[end]