The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

EP 236: Rewriting the Nervous System Story

Robyn Gobbel

Your child’s behavior isn’t telling you the whole story. Their behavior is telling you just the story their nervous system is writing in that moment.

This week, let’s continue my deep dive into my conversation with Deb Dana (episode 233), exploring how polyvagal theory offers us the hope of rewriting the nervous system story. 

We’re going to talk about the power of believing our children when they tell us the story of their nervous system and steps we can take to help them rewrite that story (if needed).


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why “story follows state” and how this helps us understand our children’s accusations, defensiveness, or “overreactions.”
  • How to resist getting swept into your child’s dysregulation tornado, so you can hold onto compassion (for them and yourself).
  • Practical ways to reframe behavior- like lying, defiance, and opposition- as nervous system responses instead of “badness,” and how that shift helps to rewrite their story…and why that matters.


Resources mentioned in this episode:


Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/rewriting




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