The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.
You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.
Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
Episodes
326 episodes
EP 243: Cool, Calculated- But Still in Protection Mode
Sometimes our kids look completely calm- even smug — while doing something that definitely isn’t a behavior of connection.But…they’re not melting down. They’re not screaming. They seem totally in control.Seems kinda like ...
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Episode 243
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37:07
EP 242: Why It's Hard for Your Kid to Take Responsibility
You ask your child what happened, and before you can finish the sentence, they’re already saying, “It wasn’t my fault!”Sound familiar?I know this is SO frustrating! But there’s a reason this is so hard, and it has...
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36:55
EP 241: Why Some People Resist Relational Neuroscience
Sometimes you share something about the brain—like how all behavior makes sense—and people push back hard. Maybe they dismiss it. Maybe they even get mad. It can feel confusing, because once you see the truth of relational neuroscience...
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Episode 241
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36:02
EP 240: Window of Tolerance- What it Is and How to Grow It
Sometimes, your kids can handle frustration or disappointment with ease, and other times the exact same challenge sends them into meltdown mode. This can feel really baffling! Why are they so inconsistent?Well, part of that difference co...
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32:48
EP 239: When Your Words and Feelings Don’t Match
Have you ever smiled while you were seething inside? Or told your child “it’s fine” when it absolutely wasn’t? That mismatch (incongruent affect, we’re gonna talk psychology mumbo jumbo) isn’t just confusing. It’s a cue of danger- to your child...
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Episode 239
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43:57
EP 238: Happy Birthday RKBBB- and a gift for you!
Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors turned TWO! 🥳So, we’re having a party right here on the podcast.Parties have gifts, so I’m offering three “gifts” for you- a little help around three behaviors that are still SO BA...
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41:36
{REPLAY} Is Understanding Behavior Just Excusing It?
Understanding behavior helps us actually solve the problem, leads to compassion, and actually helps behavior to change, but first we must understand why we are so afraid that understanding behaviors means we are excusing "bad"...
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45:18
EP 237: Connection: A Biological Imperative (for parents)
Parents aren’t the only ones providing co-regulation — we need it too. In fact, connection is a biological imperative for every nervous system, including yours. When you’re raising kids with big, baffling behaviors, the imbalance in reciprocity...
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43:34
EP 236: Rewriting the Nervous System Story
Your child’s behavior isn’t telling you the whole story. Their behavior is telling you just the story their nervous system is writing in that moment.This week, let’s continue my deep dive into my conversation with Deb Dana (episode 233),...
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40:33
EP 235: Parenting in Chronic Protection Mode
Parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems often means that parents and caregivers are living in a state of chronic chaos and danger. Even if the behaviors aren’t ‘that bad,’ it’s dysregulating to live with someone in chronic protection mod...
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Episode 235
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31:40
EP 234: Polyvagal Theory, Hope, Dysregulation, and Repair
What if dysregulation isn’t the problem? I know I know- that’s really hard to wrap our brain around! At least, it was for me. In this episode, I continue the conversation from last week’s interview with Deb Dana and take...
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Episode 234
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30:22
EP 233: Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana
Polyvagal theory isn’t just a theory- it’s a way of living that can transform how we show up for our kids, ourselves, and everyone around us. I’m SOOOO excited to introduce you to Deb Dana! Together, we explore how understanding our nervous sys...
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Episode 233
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57:21
EP 232: Swearing- What it Means and How to Respond
When kids swear, it often feels jarring, disrespectful, or even threatening. But swearing isn’t about defiance or being a bad kid- it’s a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system. Swearing might mean your child is overwhel...
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47:03
EP 231: EMDR with Kids with Attachment Trauma with Deb Wesselmann
I’m so excited to introduce you to someone who has deeply influenced my work- Deb Wesselmann! Deb is a pioneer in integrating EMDR therapy with family therapy for children with early attachment trauma. In this episode, we chat about how Deb (an...
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Episode 231
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55:12
EP 230: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) isn’t about being overly sensitive. It’s about a nervous system that experiences rejection as danger. In this episode, I explore RSD through the lens of relational neuroscience, attachment, memory, and regu...
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Episode 230
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38:27
EP 229: NeuroRelational Healing with Guest Sara Sherman
Healing comes in all forms, including on farms, with horses, and of course, in relationship. My guest this week, Sara Sherman, is a graduate of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s Professional Immersion Program and the founder of Dandeli...
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Episode 229
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54:25
{REPLAY} The Privilege of Parenting This Way (with safety)
{Replay of Episode 169 from March 2024} Parenting with co-regulating and seeing below our kids behaviors is actually a privilege we rarely talk about. It’s always a privilege, but especially when we consider different marginalized and oppressed...
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40:01
EP 228: Supporting Kids who Live Part Time in a Home without Regulation, Connection, or Felt Safety with guest Sybil Cummin
What do you do when your child lives part-time in a home where regulation, connection, and felt safety aren't present? In this episode, I talk with Sybil Cummin, a therapist specializing in working with families navigating coercive control. Syb...
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57:52
EP 227: Nothing Works! Are you burned out on tools?
Part of why you keep listening to this podcast is for parenting tools and strategies, right?? So, what do we do when it feels like nothing is working?!What’s really going on when parenting tools feel useless and you want to shout “THIS I...
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Episode 227
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36:06
EP 226: The Power of Delight in Parenting Kids with BBBs
I know- sometimes it feels impossible to feel delight toward your child. I get it! BUT! If you can find even micro-moments of delight, it can be very powerful for both you and your child. In this episode, you'll learn...
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Episode 226
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33:02
EP 225: How to Stay Curious When Behavior Makes No Sense
When your child’s behavior leaves you feeling confused, frustrated, or even hopeless, staying curious might be the last thing on your mind. But curiosity is actually SO COOL! It’s both a parenting strategy AND a nervous system state...
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30:06
EP 224: Is Behavior Change the Goal?
When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least. In this episode, I explo...
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Episode 224
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33:30
EP 223: What a Trigger REALLY Is
Have you ever freaked out at your child and then later thought, “Where did that come from?” Yup, that’s being triggered!In this episode, we’ll unpack the neuroscience behind why we get triggered, what memory processing has to do...
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38:08
Ep. 222: Lying, Stealing, Regression & Baby Talk
Why do kids sometimes - or a lot of the time! - suddenly act much younger…or sneakier?! In this episode, we use Dr. Bruce Perry’s concept of state-dependent functioning to reframe some of the baffling behaviors as signs of stress,
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38:23
Ep. 221: A Brain-Based Way to Understand Baffling Behavior
Could you use a short refresher about what I mean when I say your child’s "owl brain flew away"? Or do yoRu know someone who is willing to listen to a short explanation of how you’re approaching your child’s baffling behaviors?In this ep...
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29:16