The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.
You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.
Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
Episodes
349 episodes
EP 252: Nurturing Your Window of Tolerance as a Parent with a History of Trauma Part 3 of 6
Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, nervous system activation, and self-compassion. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stre...
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Episode 252
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44:51
{BONUS} Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior- webinar replay
On February 3, I taught a live webinar online- Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior.This is the audio-only version of that webinar!To watch the full video webinar and to download the accompanying resources, head...
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1:11:48
EP 251: Your Trauma Shaped Nervous System Makes Sense Part 2 of 6
Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to better sup...
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Episode 251
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51:47
{RE-RECORD} EP 15: Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior
This episode originally aired in 2020. It's a very popular episode that deserved being updated because so many folks are still listening!***Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most. It's confusing.&n...
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54:24
EP 250: When Parenting Triggers your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6
Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system overwhelm. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system c...
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Episode 250
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45:57
EP 249: Behaviors as Brilliant Adaptations with Sally Maslansky
Content warning: This episode includes discussion of severe trauma, abuse (including sexual abuse), dissociation, and suicidal ideation. Please take care while listening and pause if needed.In today’s episode, Robyn is joined by t...
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Episode 249
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1:03:32
EP 248: Felt Safety when Nothing Feels Safe
Should we be talking about felt safety when so much is genuinely unsafe?I’ve been thinking a lot about this hard and honest question that so many parents are holding: when danger, injustice, and unmet needs are real and ongoing, does fo...
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35:23
REPLAY: Boundaries with Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore: Boundaries with Connection Part 3 of 3
In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have ...
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1:16:23
REPLAY: Boundaries that Create Success: Boundaries with Connection Part 2 of 3
In part 2 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, we explore how to set boundaries that create success by providing structure and containment that offers safety, connection, and co-regulation.In this episode, you’ll learn:<...
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48:33
REPLAY: Boundaries with Connection Part 1 of 3: Boundaries You can Control
Focusing on understanding what's driving behavior can sometimes make it feel like we aren't addressing the behavior at all. It can feel as if we are boundaryless and permissive. This episode sheds light on what boundaries really are and how foc...
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47:25
REPLAY: Titrating Connection- Oppositional Series Part 4
In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereb...
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51:02
REPLAY: When Connection isn't Safe- Oppositional Series Part 3
If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child?In this episode you’ll learn:How connection and protection ...
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41:25
REPLAY: Strategies for Oppositional Behavior- Part 2
Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease.In ...
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51:15
REPLAY: Oppositional And Defiant Behavior- Part 1
What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder ...
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49:20
REPLAY: Felt Safety (Between) Part 3
Cues of safety, danger, or life threat come from three places- inside, outside, and between.In part 3 of this series on felt safety, we are exploring felt safety from between- from relationship!In this episode, you’ll learn...
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51:48
REPLAY: Felt Safety (Outside) Part 2
In this second episode of a three-part series on felt safety, we are going to explore all the ways our kids (and ourselves) are neuroceiving safety or danger from what’s happening in the environment.In this episode, you’ll learn
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41:40
REPLAY: Felt Safety (Inside) - Part 1
Let’s go back to basics! Last week we talked about seeing behavior through the lens of the nervous system and then took a deep-dive into co-regulation.FREE Downloadable Infographic all about Felt Safety!
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49:42
EP 247: 5 Tips from our Top 5 Episodes for our 5th Birthday!
To celebrate our 5th birthday, I gathered 5 tips from our top 5 episodes.I’m revisiting important take-aways from episodes about boundaries, oppositional behavior, and how parenting kids with a vulnerable nervous system is traumatic.&nbs...
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Episode 247
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59:56
EP 246: Helping Kids Tolerate Shame and Talk about Mistakes
Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it’s about their own mistakes or ‘bad’ behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely.Let’s unpack what’s really...
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37:09
EP 245: Can't Wait!!! Frustration Tolerance and Delayed Gratification
Does your child get stuck in “buy me, buy me, buy me!” mode? Or maybe they melt down when they can’t have what they want right now?I know it seems selfish, manipulative, or even bratty- but we want to put on our x-ray vision gog...
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34:33
EP 244: When Watchdogs are Volcanoes: Activation below the Surface
Is your child suddenly quiet… but you can feel something bubbling under the surface?They aren’t yelling, running, or arguing like usual- but you can tell their system is still fired up and on high alert.Today, we’re talki...
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36:31
{REPLAY} All Behavior Makes Sense- Decoding the Neurobiology of Baffling Behavior
This episode originally aired in October 2024.All behavior makes sense and no behavior is maladaptive- in the moment that behavior emerges.Of course, the IMPACT of the behavior might be maladaptive and absolutely many behaviors ne...
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51:05
{REPLAY} Grief in Parenting a Child with a VNS
If you're parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system, grief is an ever-present companion, whether we acknowledge grief or not.The holiday season often stirs that grief up a bit more. Our kids need more accomodations, they don't f...
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44:36
EP 243: Cool, Calculated- But Still in Protection Mode
Sometimes our kids look completely calm- even smug — while doing something that definitely isn’t a behavior of connection.But…they’re not melting down. They’re not screaming. They seem totally in control.Seems kinda like ...
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Episode 243
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38:10