The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

EP 242: Why It's Hard for Your Kid to Take Responsibility

Robyn Gobbel

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0:00 | 38:45

You ask your child what happened, and before you can finish the sentence, they’re already saying, “It wasn’t my fault!”

Sound familiar?

I know this is SO frustrating! But there’s a reason this is so hard, and it has everything to do with (of course!) the brain and nervous system.


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why taking responsibility is an Owl brain skill that depends on reflection, regulation, and cause-and-effect thinking
  • How Watchdog and Possum states block the ability to reflect and instead create defensive, blame-shifting language
  • Simple ways to grow your child’s capacity for responsibility through connection, regulation, and safety, not shame

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

  • All About Me workbook ($15 download on my website or FREE with your Club membership)


Read the full transcript at:
RobynGobbel.com/responsibility



Underneath every behavior is something happening in the body, specifically in the nervous system. When we support the body first, behavior often begins to shift. Even for kids who don't have a sensory processing disorder! 

Join my March 24th webinar at 8pm eastern- Sensory Strategies for Dysregulated Kids with Baffling Behaviors

RobynGobbel.com/SensoryWebinar

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Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!

Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY

Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026

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Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)