#10 From Frustration to Fuel: How Anger Can Heal You

What if the anger you’re feeling isn’t something to fix… but something to follow?

In this episode of The Rebellious Healer, Jenny reveals why anger is not your enemy — it’s your body’s way of signaling something deeper. When explored, anger can become the very thing that sets your healing in motion.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• Why anger is never the real problem — and what actually is
• How to uncover the beliefs and perceptions driving your emotional responses
• A simple journaling framework to turn your anger into aligned action

If you’re stuck in frustration with your healing journey, this episode will show you how to turn that fire into forward motion.

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Thanks for listening! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Have you ever felt angry at your body, angry at yourself for doing everything right and still not getting better? Maybe that anger has made you feel ashamed or like you're doing something wrong. But what if that anger was actually your turning point? Today we're diving into a topic that is often misunderstood but holds incredible potential for change. Anger. Now what if I told you that that very emotion you've been taught to suppress, anger is actually a powerful agent for change in your healing journey? How would it feel to reframe anger as a signal, a guide rather than a problem to fix? In today's episode, we're going to explore how anger can be a powerful motivator for change when it's used the right way. What anger is really trying to communicate to you about boundaries, unmet needs, and subconscious patterns. How to channel anger in a way that fuels healing rather than keeps you stuck in the same cycle. I'll also share a personal story of how anger became the turning point in my own healing journey. Because I've been there. I was angry, frustrated, and done with everything. But that moment of anger became the fire that sparked real change for me. Welcome to the Rebellious Healer, where we ditch the fear, decode the symptoms, and take healing into our own hands. I'm Jenny Peterson, a former holistic practitioner, turn symptom-free, mind-body rebel. I help women break free from protocols and step into trust, confidence, and full body healing. If you're done with the rules, restrictions, and outsourcing your power, you're in the right place. Let's dive in. Anger is one of those emotions that society tells us to keep under wraps. It's often labeled as bad, negative, or destructive. And while it certainly can feel intense, what if we could look at anger as a messenger rather than a problem? From a biological perspective, anger is part of our stress response. It's our body's way of saying, hey, something is off here. Pay attention. It can activate the nervous system and release adrenaline, preparing us to take action. But instead of taking action, most of us suppress it, ignore it, or judge ourselves for feeling it. Think about this. Have you ever felt anger because a boundary was crossed? Or maybe someone disrespected you? Or maybe you disrespected yourself by not speaking up. That surge of anger is not just random. It's your body's way of alerting you that a line has been crossed and action needs to be taken. Here's something important that needs to be said, and that most healing modalities miss. Anger itself is not the problem. There are so many approaches out there focused on helping you let go of emotions like anger. And while emotional release can be helpful, it doesn't address the root cause. Because here's the truth: the root cause of your symptoms, your emotional turmoil, your resistance to healing is not the emotion. It's the belief or perception underneath the emotion. Anger is a symptom of that deeper root. If you didn't have the belief that you were unsafe, unworthy, or broken, the emotion of anger wouldn't even exist in that context. It's the subconscious meaning you've attached to events that fuel the emotion, not the event itself. You don't need to get rid of anger. You need to understand it. When you shift your perception, the emotion naturally shifts too, because the body no longer needs to alert you with intense feelings once the underlying story has been rewritten. So instead of asking, how do I release this anger? Ask, what is the deeper belief or story that's making this emotion necessary? That's where the real healing begins. Let's go deeper into what anger might be communicating. Anger is rarely about the surface level trigger, it's about deeper patterns, old stories, and unmet needs. So let's go through some examples. If you find yourself getting angry when someone dismisses you, the anger might actually be pointing to a deeper belief that you are not being seen or heard. The trigger is just the surface level event. The real work is to look at the underlying pattern. If you get angry every time you look in the mirror and you see symptoms, that anger might be highlighting the frustration you feel for not being where you thought you'd be in your healing journey. It's a signal that there is a pattern of self-judgment that needs to be dressed and probably unrealistic expectations that you have that are driving this feeling. If you feel anger flare up when someone sets a boundary with you, it might be a reflection of your own struggle to feel in control or your discomfort with others expressing their needs because you weren't allowed to express yours growing up. If you feel anger when others don't show appreciation for what you do, it might be pointing to a deeper belief that your worth is tied to your productivity or your ability to please others. That anger is showing you where your value system is rooted in external validation. If you feel angry at your body, it might be because you believe it's betraying you. When in reality, your body is trying to protect you. That anger may be rooted in a deeper disconnection from your body's language and a belief that healing should be linear. If you feel angry that you can't live normally or do what others can due to your chronic symptoms, the root may be a deep grief for the life you feel was taken from you. That grief often turns into anger as a defense mechanism to avoid the sadness or helplessness that you feel underneath it. If you feel angry at yourself for choices you made in the past, the real issue might be self-blame and the belief that you should have known better, even though those choices were made from a place of survival, not ignorance. And lastly, if you feel angry that you're not healing fast enough, there may be a subconscious belief that healing is a race. And underneath that, a fear that you're falling behind in life or that you're not enough as you are right now. So as we can see, anger is the surface level problem. And oftentimes when people have problems, what they think is the problem isn't the problem. There's always something else deeper that is driving the surface level expression. That's why it's important to be able to know how to dig deeper. Because what we think is the problem isn't. And if we don't know how to dig deeper, we're going to be putting our focus and our energy in the wrong place. So there are common patterns that are often revealing what anger is connected to. So let's take a look at some of those. The first one is perfectionism, anger at oneself for not being quote unquote perfect or for not having it all figured out. This can show up as frustration toward symptoms, feeling like you're not healing fast enough, or being angry at yourself for not getting it right. Then there is the pattern of suppression of needs. The people-pleasing pattern often leads to suppressing anger. You say yes to things you don't want to, and that internalized anger builds up over time, turning into resentment. Another pattern is fear masquerading as anger. Sometimes anger is a cover for deeper fears, like fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of the unknown. The anger becomes a protective mechanism, but it's not the root cause. Our kids could be a great example of that. They may be acting out in anger, but really what's underneath that is maybe they know they need to do something and they're really scared that they're going to be rejected or that they're scared of failing, uh, that the anger is going to show up because they aren't going to come out and say, hey, I'm afraid of failing, or I'm afraid I'm going to be rejected. So instead, they act out in anger. This is why the emotions are just there for us to start that detective work. And our brains have a good way of protecting ourselves so that we don't actually reveal the root issue. So know that in a lot of cases, when someone is expressing anger, anger is just the cover-up. It's that protective mechanism. And then it can also be a frustration with the healing journey. When you're doing all the right things and you're still not seeing results, it's easy to feel angry. That anger may actually be a call to re-examine your approach and ask, what am I avoiding? Where am I still playing it safe? Those two questions right there are going to reveal the answer to most likely why you're stuck. What am I avoiding? I'm avoiding possibly doing a protocol or a program that I'm in fear that it's not going to work. Or I'm afraid of investing, or I'm avoiding having to tell my family that I'm doing this work. When we ask ourselves when it comes to the frustrations with our healing journey, these two questions, what am I avoiding? And where am I still playing it safe? If we answer these honestly, we're going to see where we need to take action. And what is truly driving that anger is just a cover up because we're trying to avoid something. We're trying to avoid some type of discomfort, which is just, again, a protective mechanism of the brain. So let's look at how we can break down your anger. If you're feeling angry, one of the most powerful things you can do is sit with it, not stew in it, but explore it. We do this with our clients as well, is that our clients come to us with a lot of emotions. While they're in the program, they have a lot of emotions. And rather than us saying, okay, let's tap out this emotion or let's use this technique to let go of this emotion, we're going to actually say to ourselves as coaches, okay, there's something deeper here. The emotion is just a surface level, surface level problem. But underneath that, there's much more. And we need to find out what is driving that emotion of fear or anger. Exploring these emotions with questions that will help lead to deeper answers is going to help you actually get to the root of the problem. And journaling is a great way to do this. Everybody talks about journaling, right? But what you do with that journaling is really important, whether that journaling is going to be helpful or it's not going to be helpful. There are some questions that you can ask yourself to uncover what is really driving your anger. So I'm going to give you a list of those questions now. The first question is what exactly triggered my anger? What was the situation? What prompted me to feel this way? Number two, what thought or perception would I need to have to feel this emotion of anger? Basically, that saying, if I have anger, what would my perception have to be of this situation to feel that way? Or what perception or thought led to me feeling angry? It can be asked two different ways, same question, just asked slightly different. Number three, what belief is underneath that perception that I have? What would I have to believe about myself or the world to have that perception? So once I identify that perception or thought that brought on my anger, then I have to ask what belief is driving that perception? Number four, where did that belief originate? Is it even true? This is helpful because then we have the data, the proof that our subconscious is referencing for me to filter my world with this belief system. And you don't have to go into every single memory and a huge timeline. It's often very obvious when a belief shows up, you can oftentimes find the connections very quickly because a belief doesn't happen from just one single event. It's often several. So there's going to be probably several events that support where this belief originated from. And number five, what could I choose to believe instead? So it's usually the opposite of the belief. So if it's the belief of I'm not good enough, then the opposite of that is I am good enough. And number six, what actions can I take to support this new belief? Do I need to speak up, set a boundary, take responsibility? Again, this is gonna be very individual, depending on what belief you identify. And then based on that belief, based on that situation, what can I do to take action to support it? So these questions are designed to help you uncover the deeper roots of your anger so that you can move from emotional reaction to conscious choice. And when you trace anger back to its origin, you gain the clarity. You understand where your subconscious is going for the proof, and it's gonna provide you clarity of why you believe this about you. And it's from that clarity that you then can choose to move forward and healing can happen because you're choosing to think differently. Those old stories are the proof that your subconscious is operating from. So it's important to provide that evidence to see, oh, I get it now why I'm operating from this old story or this old belief system. And you're also telling your subconscious that at the same time of saying, hey, I see now what you're referencing. And now I'm telling you that it's safe to not see it that way anymore. I have a new perspective. So let's look at an example of how this would look like if you were to journal through it in the moment from a first-person perspective. So I ask myself, what exactly triggered my anger? And I respond with, I'm angry that I still have symptoms, even though I'm doing all the things right. So my next question to myself would be, what thought or perception would I need to have to feel this emotion? Well, I guess I'm believing that if I still have symptoms, I must be doing something wrong, that all my efforts aren't enough. So the next question is, what belief is underneath that perception? Well, what would I have to believe about myself or the world to have that perception that my efforts aren't enough? Well, underneath that is the belief that I have to do everything perfectly to get better, that if I mess up or fall short in any way, I won't heal. There's no room for mistakes. So taking that answer, we're now asking, where did that belief originate? Is it even true? Well, that probably came from childhood, being praised when I did things right, feeling like I had to prove my worth by performing. And no, it's not true. Healing isn't about perfection. It's about safety, trust, and showing up for myself consistently, not perfectly, flawlessly, but consistently. So from that, we then ask, what could I choose to believe instead? I can believe that my body is still working with me, even if things don't look perfect, that I can heal without having to be perfect, that trust matters more than control. So we want to shift to a new new belief based on what we found is driving our perception and then ultimately causing our anger. And the last question is what actions can I take to support this new belief? The action is very important. This is where a lot of people stop because they identify, okay, this is a new belief that I can, you know, believe and I'm now going to tell myself. Okay, but safety in your body and in your mind comes from the action. Your nervous system has to know what that new safety feels like and looks like rather than just saying it. So we have to align some type of action to take to support that new belief. An action with this example could be I can give myself permission to rest today without guilt. I can celebrate the fact that I'm showing up even at all, even if it's 10% today, it's better than zero. And I can write myself a note reminding me that I'm already healing, even when it feels slow or messy. So these actions are going to be very different based on the belief that you identify, based on the situation. It's going to be very specific, but you always want to identify what kind of action you can take to support this new belief system. Like I mentioned, the action is the rewiring process. And this is where so many protocols fall short, or people just simply are not doing it because it's uncomfortable. They rather sit and tell themselves that it's much easier to just sit and repeat an affirmation of a new belief to themselves rather than attaching an action to it. The action is the rewiring, it's the rewiring in your body and in your mind that is going to create these new patterns that are required for creating safety in your mind and body so it can heal. So, with this example, the exercise shows me that what I thought was the problem, the anger, was really just the surface problem. The real issue wasn't that I was angry about my symptoms, even though I wanted to get rid of the anger and I hated being angry, right? But that I believed I had to earn my healing through perfection. That belief is what was fueling the anger. And by uncovering that deeper story, I was able to shift from frustration into compassion and then take action that actually supported my healing, brought the safety that my body was asking for. For me, anger was an agent for change. When I was sick and desperately trying to heal, I reached a point where I was so angry at my situation. I was angry that this was my life, angry that I had done everything right and was still sick and stuck. But instead of just sitting in that anger, I decided to let it be my guide. That anger became the fire that propelled me to take different actions. It forced me to question what wasn't working and to go deeper into the work that would eventually lead me to my healing. It was my rock bottom. And that anger was my wake-up call. And in a lot of cases, when it comes to chronic conditions, that is what happens is we have to hit that rock bottom. And that rock bottom, we either continued to go even deeper because we let the anger take control of us and we don't step into taking personal responsibility. Or we say, okay, I'm going to use this anger as an agent for change for saying I need to do something different here. This isn't working. Whether it's what I believe about my body, what I believe about what that healing process looks like, or that I need to do something different because the actual approach I'm taking isn't working. Some people say rock bottom is the rock bottom, that you can't go any deeper than that. You can if you stay there in your own misery and create your own suffering at the rock bottom. Or you can use that as a spring to bounce back and say, what do I need to do here? Where do I need to utilize this anger as an agent for change? And that's personally what I did. I just got so pissed off that I said something needs to change. I'm going to do something different. It was the doing something different that was very uncomfortable, right? So I was doing all the holistic protocols that felt comfortable for me. So I not only followed my own protocol of what I did with clients, but then I went to other practitioners that did very similar protocols. And I just kept jumping from holistic practitioner to, you know, another holistic practitioner. They each had their own way of doing things, but essentially we were doing all the same thing. And that was comfortable because that was my world at the time. So this anger eventually got to me and said, something needs to change. And I had to look and say, well, maybe this approach that I have been taking isn't the answer anymore. And that was uncomfortable. And that anger had to show up a lot for me to say, okay, I'm willing to be uncomfortable and go into a different world and put aside the fact that what I'm doing hasn't worked and what I know and what I've studied and everything else isn't working, and put that aside and discover new ways of healing. That discomfort in itself was causing me to stay stuck. And the fear was just the protective part of my brain saying, we're here to protect you, but now you can either do something with it or you can sit in your own poo. You get to decide. So here's my invitation to you Are you willing to see your anger as a catalyst for transformation rather than a sign of failure? The choice is yours. Take That anger and use it to fuel the changes you know you need to make. Most of us know the changes we need to make. It's just our lovely brain is in that protection state and we are making choices based on emotions, which oftentimes don't lead us in the best direction. And instead, if we look underneath those emotions, not just anger, but any emotion that isn't serving us well, there's going to be something underneath it that's driving it. And that belief system is what really brings it to the surface that I can then consciously make a choice to say, oh, I now see what belief is driving it. I can choose to continue filtering my world through this belief system and stay stuck or change this belief and make changes in my life. This is how you step into being that rebellious healer that you need to be to make changes. So if anger is chronically showing up in your life and you're dealing with these chronic symptoms that aren't going away, this is your sign. This is your sign that there's something deeper going on. Go through the questions that I gave you. Ask yourself, what's really underneath this anger? And once those patterns are revealed and you realize that you've been stuck in these old patterns and you're ready to turn your anger into aligned action, my evolve program is where we take this work even deeper. This is where we are addressing the patterns that are connected to your chronic symptoms so you can finally give your body the permission it needs to heal. You can find the details about the Evolve program in the show notes. Thanks for tuning into this episode of the Rebellious Healer. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with others. And remember, your anger isn't the enemy. It's the spark that can ignite your next breakthrough. Until next time, keep taking rebellious action to heal.