The Rebellious Healer

#35 From Nurse to Healer: Denise's Healing Story

• Season 5 • Episode 35

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In this episode of The Rebellious Healer, Jenny sits down with Denise — a graduate of the EVOLVE program — to share her incredible healing journey.

Despite her deep medical knowledge as a nurse and years of trying every possible treatment — from medication and supplements to strict diets and holistic therapies — Denise was still living with chronic anxiety, panic attacks, fatigue, and a long list of other symptoms. Nothing truly worked until she addressed what was happening beneath it all: her subconscious patterns.

You’ll hear how Denise went from fearing her body to trusting it completely, how she reconnected to her identity as a mother and woman, and how she now experiences life with peace, energy, and confidence. 

If you’ve ever wondered what’s possible when you stop trying to fix your body and start leading it, this conversation will show you the power of the mind-body connection — and what’s waiting for you on the other side of fear.

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Ready to resolve your chronic symptoms and get your life back? 

 START HERE👉APPLY FOR THE EVOLVE PROGRAM 

Thanks for listening! 

SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to the Rebellious Healer. Today's episode is one you don't want to miss. I'm sitting down with Denise, a recent graduate of our eight-month Mind-Body Rewire program, who once lived with anxiety, panic attacks, fatigue, and a long list of chronic symptoms that made everyday life feel like survival. What made Denise's story so powerful is that as a nurse, she tried everything the medical and holistic worlds had to offer: medication, supplements, protocols, diets, energy work, you name it, and still couldn't find relief. It wasn't until she started working with her subconscious patterns that everything began to change. In this conversation, she shares how she went from living in constant fear of her body to full trust and freedom, becoming the calm, confident mom and woman she's always wanted to be. This is more than a story about symptom relief. It's a story about reclaiming power, rebuilding trust with your body, and realizing that true healing begins in the mind. Let's dive in. So today I'm talking with Denise. She is a recent graduate of MBR, discussing what her life and symptoms were like before the MBR program, and now after completing it. Welcome, Denise. Thank you, Jenny. Happy to be here. All right. So to start off, let's talk about what symptoms you came into the program with. Okay. It's a long list.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So anxiety was probably my main symptom and the one I wanted to get rid of like yesterday. But along with that, I had struggled with IBS, hair loss, and breakage. Anxiety, depression, complex PTSD, symptoms of ADHD. I had water retention, panic disorder, fatigue. I tended to feel trapped or stuck in situations, hypothyroid, insomnia, blurry eyesight, and memory loss.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. All right. That is a long list, but it's not something that is rare because a lot of people that come in to the MBR program, it's just not a list of one or two things. It's usually a long list. And to me, from a coaching perspective, it's fun. When the list is long, it's, ooh, this is going to be good. So can you paint a picture for us what your life was like before you joined the program with these symptoms? Sure.

SPEAKER_01

And I was thinking to do this, it would be best if I just started when all my symptoms began accumulating and shared a brief story about what that looked like because it was a slow drip from there. It was like the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. So it was 2017, and what I'm going to describe to you was basically how I lived my life. This was just normal to me. I was a registered nurse. I was well regarded by the doctors. I worked in a very busy hospital full-time. And I was probably so well regarded because some of these patterns that I figured out about. So we can get into those later, though.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But so I had two small children, a three and a six-year-old, and I was pregnant with my third working full-time. My husband, he had quit his well-providing stable job and decided to pursue entrepreneurship, his passion project. And so we had a lot of stress. Um and oh, I forgot to mention that I was getting my master's in nursing at the time, too.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And as it turned out, my baby was born December 1st, and I had to be finished with my thesis in January. So one day it was postpartum. I was postpartum a few weeks, and that's a very vulnerable and tender time for a woman anyway. And I wanted to bring my older two girls to a birthday party. And so I spent all morning nursing the baby diligently to get ready to get out. And I hadn't taken care of myself and hadn't really ate anything or drank. I'm leaving, and it's already hard to leave your baby, right? When you're only a few weeks. And I remember thinking to myself, I am so hungry. I'm so thirsty. There's nowhere for me to stop to get anything. I haven't taken care of myself at all. And I was a little bit ruminating on it. I'm like, what am I gonna do? Like, I'm going to a kid's birthday party. This was the kind of talk that was going on in my head. And so we get to the birthday party, and what ends up happening is I experience a panic attack there. But at the time, I didn't know it was a panic attack. So there's two kinds of things to the story. I did not know it was a panic attack. I was a nurse medically minded, and I just thought I'm having a low blood sugar episode. And I think that works with what I remember saying to myself in the car. This obsession with I didn't eat, I didn't drink, what am I doing? And so we get to the party, have the panic attack. I feel vulnerable, can't help my kids. And I also, this other thing that really made it impactful was that I couldn't ask for help. I just felt completely inhibited. I wanted to hide my struggle. And so I was just in a very helpless state because I was conflicted by I need help, but I can't get help. And I like after the fact, I was like, I wonder why I felt like I couldn't ask for help. I was confused. Like, why did I perceive it that way? Of course I could have just, I had a friend there too. But that's how I felt in the moment, in that highly emotional moment. And after that, I finally accepted that was a panic attack a few days later. And I used a lot of, I was highly resourceful. So I used a lot of good avoidance strategies and coping mechanisms. But I basically felt very vulnerable getting in the car with my kids alone. What if that happens to me again? I would carry snacks with me. I would do all sorts of things, but I just felt very unsure if I could take care of them like I needed to. And then over the next course of the next years, anytime I perceived myself to be stuck or trapped or vulnerable, it could even be in the grocery store line sometimes. If I had a bunch of stuff in my car and I needed to get moving, because I used to always be in a rush too, I would perceive that feeling too when I would get symptoms. When I went into grocery stores, if I was in crowds, thinking about the birthday party crowds and feeling vulnerable there. And so it just snowballed that event really snowballed into a lot of different triggering experiences. So I think at that birthday party, I'd already been chipping away at self-trust throughout my life. It's a generational pattern in my family, but also it really eroded the last bit I probably had because now I didn't even show up for the things that I felt okay showing up for. I had some confidence to take my kids' places. I had, but now I couldn't trust my body. I couldn't trust my body to show up with me and what I wanted to do. And that was a really scary place to be. So the last thing I'll say is before I started MBR, it had gotten to where I was really struggling mostly with I'd wake up feeling a lot of dread, body scanning, deciding how I was going to feel for that day before my feet hit the ground. And I was also really struggling with sitting still and like ADHD symptoms that I couldn't go to like a restaurant or crowd. I could not filter out all the noise. I couldn't stay focused on the person I'm speaking to. I was just hearing everything. And it was really overwhelming my nervous system a lot. And so I wanted to, I didn't avoid it, but I wanted to. It was very uncomfortable. So I'd say that the last thing is my sense of being a mother was really affected by this because I felt very guilty. I felt very guilty about what how this was affecting my children. I'm smart enough to know that it was, and I was smart enough to know that I needed to be the one to do something about, but I didn't know what to do. So there was again a very stuck feeling in how to proceed.

SPEAKER_00

So your panic attack was the straw that basically broke the camel's back. And we know that the nervous system, that bucket was already full. It's just that panic attack pushed it over the edge to where the water is now overflowing.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So what kind of treatments did you try before you decided to join MBR? What did you all try? What was in your toolbox before MBR? This list is even longer, I'd say.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it has a tendency to be that. Being a nurse at the time, I initially tried the medication route and that just didn't work for me. I didn't really spend a whole lot of time going to a bunch of doctors. I went to a few. But I think just being a nurse, I knew that what was on offer was not for me. I just knew, no thanks. Yeah. There was a stigma. I know I you hear nurses talk, like I felt very missed, I would have felt very misunderstood in that environment. So I really dove into the holistic world full force. I did the diets and nutritional approaches, very short, stent as vegan. That was going to be the answer. And then straight over to the polar opposite carnivore, and I felt a lot better on that actually. But then there was also dairy-free and gluten-free. Low carbs stuck for a while where I was very strict and restricting carbohydrates. And this is where, like, I started focusing on blood sugar balance and I wore continuous glucose monitors all the time. I even stuck one on my husband. And I can't believe I got him to wear it. I'm just thankful I didn't put one on my kids. I wouldn't have put that if I did not. I wasn't the most fun gal at a party for sure.

SPEAKER_00

And I certainly come in with your suitcase of all that stuff. And like just to have dinner at a party or whatever. Checking my glucose.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, oh no, this is spiking my blood sugar. Like the host must have been like, thanks. Like, I thought I provided a nice meal for you. And then at my family's dinner table, I also wasn't a lot of fun, carefree and relaxed. And I mean a stressful environment. And I did protocols, all sorts, parasite cleanses on the full moon. Yep. Yeah. Coffee animas. I did those most days for over a year, actually. Yeah. I think didn't you start MBR and you were doing them as well? Or was that somebody else I'm thinking of? That must be someone else because I had been done for a little bit with those by then. But yeah, I did them for well over a year, close to two years, probably. And that was terrible. And it's just time, it's uncomfortable, it's expensive because I had the best quality and all that. So it was just a lot. Yeah. I did energy healing and Reiki. I did this thing called the harmonic egg, affirmations, yoga, breath work, sauna, cold plunge, Wim Hof breathing. I even tried monitored psychedelic therapy for a short period. It was the last ditch before MBR where I was like, I gotta try something to get to know myself better. So I was moving towards the fact that I needed to get to know myself better at this point. I mean, I'd say many of these things helped me, some definitely more than others, but nothing moved needle like MBR. And I really, it was a turning point for me when I realized that a human shouldn't need this strict of a routine to just feel okay. It wasn't like I still had symptoms. Yes. And I'm doing everything what I felt perfectly, according to the wellness world. Yeah. And then I realized that like this busyness and fix it attitude, it was the same pattern of perfectionism and overfunctioning that got me sick in the first place. I was had to fix myself because there was something wrong with me. And I had to go at it with rigidity, control, yes, force. But it was a cage. It was like I began to believe that if I'm doing all of this and I'm still having symptoms, then there must really be something wrong with me. So it just really reinforced that belief that was very damaging.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And what I see, and I love the quote, and I don't know who it's by, but I use it all the time. How you do anything is how you do everything. So we may change the protocol going from medical to the holistic, but the way that we address it and the behavior that we have around it and the way our that we're approaching the protocol is the same way. I need to fix, I need to do all this stuff, I have to make it a full-time job. And so we can switch the the area or the world that we're in from medical to holistic or whatever. And if we approach it the same way, we're still gonna be stuck. Because if we're approaching it in this fix it, make it a full-time job in order to heal and have all this stuff in order to quote unquote function, we're just gonna shift it over to the next thing. It's very common. I went through the same thing myself, but I think that quote, just really summarizes everything of how you do anything is how you do everything until you decide to change how you're doing everything. Boy, is that true? Yeah, that is really true. Okay. So when you were able to see the subconscious patterns by doing the work that we do in the program, like your thoughts, your core beliefs that were underneath your symptoms, did it all come together for you? And how did it help you see that it was those patterns that were driving everything in your life and health? Kind of going back to what I just talked about, how you do anything is how you do everything. How did discovering those patterns and seeing that make a difference for you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, like this aha moment when you see, oh, that's why I am the way I am. That's why I see things this way. That's why I felt that way at the birthday party. Things start to click and it makes sense. And I really found this to be the most satisfying part of this program. You know, when you get that deep insight and you realize that you make sense, everyone makes sense based on what they've experienced. It just really allowed me to develop a deeper compassion for myself and to really lean into working on self-love, which I needed to do. It dissolved that shame that I had because I learned to immediately and automatically validate my experience in that moment. And that was thanks to the rewiring and brain retraining process that I just automatically, towards the end of the program, was like, oh, I make sense. That's okay. I am where I am. And so I began to see that this work was not as overwhelming as I had always felt like I thought I was a very overwhelming case. But I had so much trauma to work through and work on. I had so much work to do in myself, but I really found it to be the opposite. I found that it was pretty simple, not easy, like we always say, but simple. A lot of my symptoms, all of my symptoms and my issues, they were being driven by just a few patterns and beliefs that were just really strong. Just like we you said, how you do one thing is how you do everything. If you're a perfectionist, you're gonna apply that pattern to whatever you're doing and be afraid of making a mistake or that you're doing something wrong. It was actually just very enlightening. And the tools in the program really helped to very acutely pick out these patterns. You do some detective work, you do some soul searching and discovering, but you don't have to do all of that because the tools illuminate what needs to be.

SPEAKER_00

And like what you said, because we have a lot of people that come to me as well as saying, I have such a large list of trauma or life experiences that I have that I know are contributing, or it could be the opposite where I don't remember anything. The thing is you we are operating from that three to four core beliefs, and the processes that we take you through will shed light on those three to four core beliefs and they will start to be seen with everything. And that's one thing we try and have you do is do you notice that this pattern is showing up again? And it's one of the core beliefs that you picked out in the beginning of the program. And we're just emphasizing that this is all coming back to really these three to four areas. If you just work on that, everything trickles down from there. And that is so cool, right? Because it just takes the overwhelm right out of it. It does. And that's where it doesn't matter how much poo you think you have or how little you have, when we identify that, everything's gonna come and come from that and be able to branch from that. And you think, I got this problem, I got that problem. That's the surface problem. The root problem is still all the same, it's just bleeding everywhere. Yeah. All right. So after eight months of doing that deep inner work, working on your old subconscious patterns, how have your symptoms shifted?

SPEAKER_01

My symptoms have pretty much disappeared. The ones that I wanted to go away, like immediately, they were the last to know to. Of course, they're the last ones to go. Yes. And now, if I do experience some minor anxiety, for example, it's small and I catch it quicker. I look at it the way I've learned to look at it as a message. I meet it with curiosity and compassion. Whereas before I just met it with so much judgment. So another shift now would be like how I can sit still, I can be very present. I used to go to yoga and like the first two minutes you're supposed to sit there and breathe several times. I used to get up and leave during that two minutes. I couldn't even sit for two minutes. So now I enjoy two minutes. I can actually sit there and do, you know, the breathing as it's intended to calm the system. It feels safe to me now, which is really cool. What else? I can also have plenty of energy to do what I need to do and be adventurous. I used to enter that overdoing it, over functioning that would lead to a burnout and fatigue pattern. And that has stopped. I just I rest when I need to. And I have energy when I need to. I just feel like I've taken my power back with my kids. I feel like I am finally the mom that I've always wanted to be. I'm fun, I'm spontaneous, I laugh, I'm silly and playful. And that's one thing I wasn't really anticipating. I wasn't thinking about that side of it. I wanted to show up for them, but now I am fun and I smile and I do silly, goofy things with them. I'm not so serious. So that feels really good. I drive all over with them. We eat normally whenever anyone's serving, and my kids don't seem stressed about the food either now. Yeah. And we just drive wherever, do whatever, and I'm fine to be the only responsible adult with them. I feel like I can handle it, and it's just no big deal. So I just feel like I'm connected back to my authenticity. And yeah, I just feel like I'm healing at like a soul level too. I feel like this motherhood journey has really connected me to my soul. Makes sense.

SPEAKER_00

Hey, if you're listening to Denise's story and realizing you've been doing all the same things, tasting supplements, diets, protocols, but still not getting better, I want you to know there's another way. What we do inside the Mind Body Rewire program is exactly what helped Denise shift from fear to trust and finally heal. If you're ready to end the cycle of fixing and finally get clear on what's keeping your symptoms stuck, you can apply for our eight-month MBR program using the link in the show notes. This work changes everything. And Denise is proof of that. All right, let's get back to the interview. So talk to me about what you think sets MBR apart from other programs. You've done a lot of work prior to coming in. And so talk to us about what you feel sets us apart from that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'd have to say that the level of support and the consistency to keep me accountable, there's lots of ebbs and flows in this work. And my coach, I just can't say enough wonderful things about Megan. She was the kindest, safest, warmest presence. And I shared like very deep things with her that I hadn't shared with other people. And it's because of that safety and our relationship that we co-created. It was really beautiful and it was so healing. And so you don't just find that everywhere, someone like Megan or someone like the other coaches in your program. It's they're very special people. And so I think opening up about some of those tough challenges was very important, right? It was just so intentional. I love root cause work, and this is like truly the root of the root of the root. It's like you can just tell this is it. And it's so thorough, it's well paced and incredibly intentional. It's laid out, it's not rushed, there's no overwhelm. It's very simple and straightforward. Everything is just laid out for you, and you just have to do the work in the day. And it's not too much work either. It's just a bit, just a bit, just to keep it consistent and daily and targeted. And for me personally, I think the group calls were huge for me. And it was the safest community, most beautiful people on the call. There was just no judgment safe to be vulnerable and open. And I think when you listen to the group calls a lot, the there's a lot of repetition, which I think is good for the brain. It's said in a different way, though. So it's not boring. It's said through different experiences. So there's nothing boring about it, but you hear the same. Because we all resonate so deeply with each other. It's like, right, there's only so many themes. We're all different, but yet we're all very much the same too. We all feel a lot of the same things. So it looks a little different in each person's story. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you for all of that feedback. Those are areas that we too agree set us apart as well. And we strive to really provide those areas that I believe are a contributor to the success and effectiveness of the program. Without that support, your brain is going to go down the rabbit holes and no one's, unless you know how to call. yourself out, which if we all did, we wouldn't be in the places that we are. You'd have to someone call you out, but at the same time, have that accountability to keep showing up and saying, this is part of it. There's some days you're going to give only 10%. And that is fine. We just want you to come and show up and give the 10% and not think that you have to give 100% perfectly. And that repetition is so important, that daily work and I love how you talk about, but it's not where you're making this a full-time job. You're showing up for yourself daily, yes, but we're not having you spend hours. Because if you think about it, at least it was for me and a lot of clients that I've heard from is that they've spent all day on healing prior to this. And then they come in and we only give them an hour's worth of work that if you put it all together, it takes an hour and they go, what else am I supposed to do? Go live.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Go enjoy something that you haven't done in a long time. We don't want this to be a full-time healing program that you're spending all day long because that is not the way to heal. So I love that you talked about that as well. All right. So lastly if someone who has chronic symptoms is listening to this and not knowing if they should join MBR, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01

I would say hey if you're listening to this and you're ready, go for it. Don't delay at all. And if you have an open mind and you're prepared to take an honest inventory and look at yourself as the only one who can truly decode your own story. If you're ready to be vulnerable and you can muster up some trust and maybe you're not quite ready to fully trust yourself or that you can heal. Because I know that many of us have had that story in the beginning I'm different. Maybe saying I'm different than Denise or I have this and that's going to prevent me. I promise you that if I can do it, you can do it also. My system isn't special or different than yours. It's designed the same way. And while we certainly have different experiences that got us into this place healing that's available to all of us. And so when I look at myself now after eight months of daily consistent targeted work now I'm on a podcast. Yeah I'm proud of myself and I'm sharing my story very easily. So I really feel like this is a full circle moment and to look back and see this and this alone was worth the price of admission to me. So I learned so much more than that though. So much more. Long story short yeah I'd say go for it without a doubt.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much, Denise for sharing your healing success with not just me but those that are listening. You are definitely an inspiration to others that they can heal and get their life back. Congratulations thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you. I could say it 20 times I'm just so happy that I made this choice invested in myself and certain people on my healing journey have been like angels on earth to me. And you and all the coaches Megan in particular since I worked with her so closely have really just been very important people to me and I'm very grateful. So thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you Denise. Thank you. The thing is we just provided the plan. You had to do the work. We were the guides we tell you what you need to do but we can't wake up every morning knock on your door and say hey Denise you got to do the work. That's you. So make sure to give yourself credit there. We both met each other halfway and you've decided to take that action to meet us. Congratulations and again I'm honored to have been a part of that journey for you. Thank you. All right so you can end the endless search for answers to your chronic symptoms today. Living a life that you feel like you have to constantly fix yourself is exhausting. Your body was designed to heal let us show you how take the first step to long lasting healing by applying for the MBR eight month evolve program today. The link for the application is in the show notes. Thanks for listening to