A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for educational blogs and newsletter.
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Get ready to discover some cheeky and charming ways to turn up the fun and connection between you and a partner! Whether you're looking to bring a little fun into your sexy time or just have a laugh, I’ve got a lineup of games that'll make your bedroom into a playground.
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Hello and welcome to Permission for Pleasure. I'm Cindy Sharky, your host. You're joining me for the fun and games in the bedroom episode. It's summer. I thought it would be a perfect time to introduce you to a few easy games to have a little more fun in your sexual relationship. Did you know that the science actually shows that we can come to desire or lust through the playful part of our brains? Dr. Nan Wise talked all about this in the pleasure episodes, the brain science around pleasure, orgasm. I'm going to link to those in the show notes because if you missed them, really solid episodes about desire, play, lust, all the ways our brains work for pleasure. Recently, only for my newsletter subscribers, I offered a would you rather game sheet and they gobbled it up. Wait just a minute. If you don't know I have a newsletter and you're new here, I want to let you know you're invited. It's called Good Education for Good Sex. You can sign up in the show notes. And if you do sign up, send me a message. I'd be delighted to have you join me there, and in turn I will send you the would you rather game sheet. Here are three of the 20 questions I offered. And they're designed to open up conversation in a playful way. Maybe it'll turn into some serious and really meaningful conversation, or it could be just laughter and fun. Make it whatever you want. Here's the first one. Would you rather suck my toes or lick my neck? Would you rather eat food off my body or have me dance naked for you? Would you rather have sex on the beach or join the Mile High Club? You get the picture and you can take it from there. Make up some of your own. Even those three questions might prompt some fun conversation. And let me know if you want me to send you my set of 20. Here's another super easy idea using die or dice. Let's just do a die for this example. You make up something that represents each number. You can buy games like this that are already set up, but it's so easy to make your own. You're gonna decide what each number stands for, and then you're gonna roll, and you can either have it be that's what you do to your partner or your partner does to you. You make up these rules as you go. Does this make sense? Okay, so for example, if you roll a one, maybe that's going to stand for kiss. If you roll a two, maybe that's gonna stand for lick. Three, perhaps light touch, four, firm touch. Five could be partner's choice. Six could be surprise me. I'm making this up as I go. So I would roll the dice, and if I roll a three, that would mean my partner's going to do light touch. So light touch would be maybe stroking my arm or using a feather and running that over my chest or drawing a scarf along my body. Make it fun, make it your own, change it up every time, take turns. It's just fun to do something different. This just sparks that level of playfulness that helps you engage with one another in a different kind of way. Maybe you're just gonna laugh your heads off, maybe you're gonna have a serious conversation. Either way, good. Here's another game option. This is sort of a teeny tiny little bit of power play dynamics in a playful way. Okay, so easy, really easy. Do you remember Simon Says or Mother May I? Maybe you're all a little too young to remember these games, but Simon says is a tell you what to do game. Mother May I is an ask what you can do game. So you could change it to Lover Says or My Love or whatever if you want to make it different. It doesn't have to be Mother or Simon for that matter. Do what you like. Here's a few examples. The game goes like Simon says, take your shirt off, right? Simon says, close your eyes. Simon says, hold my hands. So Simon is in the lead role. Maybe it's going to be lover says do this or that, whatever you want. Or you can flip it around and do the mother may I. Mother may I take your shirt off. Mother may I blindfold you. Mother may I sit in your lap. You could just do so much with this and take it whatever direction you're comfortable with. It could be a serious role play and power dynamics, or it could be hysterical and fun. The sky's the limit. And you know what? You could write different things on scraps of paper or index cards, and those could be the prompts. So whoever draws chooses whether to make it a mother may I or a Simon says. That might make it super entertaining and give an option for which direction it goes. Okay, another one is Truth or Dare. I mean, when was the last time you played Truth or Dare? It's always good for some fun. Well, unless it's really activating for you from your past, which some of you I'm sure that will be. I know you know how to play that, and you can make up cards for that or just do it verbally. Even if you did one or two, just to prompt a discussion and kind of a different kind of fun conversation together. I just remembered the game red light, green light. Did you ever play that as a kid? You would line up, there was one caller at a finish line, and when they said green light, you would run towards them. When they said red light, you had to freeze and stop. You could use this as a game in the bedroom. Not with running, okay, but roaming. Okay, stay with me here. This could be done a couple of different ways. Roaming touch with fingers, roaming touch with lips, roaming touch with your tongue, a toy, adding massage oil. Oh my goodness, there's so many ways. One partner would be the receiver, one would be the giver. Then you trade. So the giver has to start and stop on the other partner's command a red for stop, green for go. Let me give you an example. If I'm the partner giving touch and using my fingers, I start at my partner's toes and then move to their foot, their ankle, their shin, moving up their body. If they say red light, I stop and roam and linger in the area where I am. I linger with touch in that area until they say green light, and then I move on. Or make it however you want. I think that could be a really interesting play on my pleasurable touch exercise. I'm gonna link to that also in the show notes. It's not so much a playful one, but a more nourishing and communicative one. So that could be added in if you're not into a game atmosphere. Don't forget to check that out. Any of these games can be adjusted, modified to fit you and your partner and how you like to play. But honestly, when was the last time you played in the bedroom? Had some silliness or laughter, just weren't so precious and serious all the time. Maybe you want to add some easy temperature play. I have an episode on that, I'll link to it. Maybe you just want to trace each other's body outline with your finger. Do you remember doing this as a kid? Laying down on long butcher paper and your friend traced you. Or maybe you laid on the sidewalk and your friend or sister or brother traced you with sidewalk chalk. This type of game in the bedroom, though, where you could get a little closer and a little more intimate with your finger tracing. Variety is a big turn on for folks. These simple games can add just that little bit of variety that nudges arousal and desire. Plus, you're having fun together. Maybe you try one and say, that's not for us. Fine, you learn something about yourselves. Maybe you try one and one of you digs it and one of you's like, eh, so so fine too. You learn something new. But maybe, just maybe, it's enough play and fun together to be connecting, erotic, playful, or all of those things. So try one of these games and have a good time. And friends, please do take a moment before you wrap up this episode to make sure you've hit the follow button on your listening platform and to rate and review the show. That means so much to me and does help others to find the podcast. Someone recently wrote in this. I accidentally bumped into your podcast, and I've been learning so much on how much my body functions, on who I am as a person in my body and in my relationships, and on what I want for myself. Through your podcast, you gave me tips and tricks to get started. You gave me courage, you gave me hope. This, this is why I'm doing the podcast, friends. This is why I wrote the book I told you about in my birthday episode coming out in February 2025, and why I have the educational newsletter. I want you to have courage, confidence, and hope in your sexual wellness. So cheers to playing more in the bedroom and to giving yourself permission for pleasure.
