Three Steps to Manifest (Aka How I Manifested my Boyfriend)

What is manifestation? What are the main steps? How can we manifest the things we dream of? In this short episode I speak about the top three steps to manifest anything in your life from your dream job to your relationship and how I put these steps into practice to manifest big things in my life including my boyfriend!
I am leading a manifestation workshop on Zoom on December 27th - if you want to manifest your dreams into 2024 join us! ​ I'm also going to be leading Christmas Eve Yin and New Year's Eve Yoga (both traditions that I offer every year!) On New Years Eve I will be in Vancouver with my boyfriend so if you sign up for the Zoom yoga class...you might meet him! Join us at: https://www.themindfullifepractice.com/live-schedule

Transcript

Hi, friend. This is Alex McRobs, founder of The Mindful Life Practice, and you're listening to the Sober Yoga Girl podcast. I'm a Canadian who moved across the world to the Middle East at age 23, and I never went back. I got sober in 2019, and I now live full-time in Bali, Indonesia. I've made it my mission to help other women around the world stop drinking, start yoga, and change their lives through my online Sober Girls Yoga community. You're not alone, and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how.

Hey, everyone. Happy Thursday from Abu Dhabi. It is Alex here. I'm recording this on Wednesday, December 13th, and this episode is actually coming out tomorrow. I had plans for a different episode to be released, and then I actually... Well, my podcast producer just messaged me to say that the episode is missing from the drive folder that I normally upload the to. And I realized while I was driving in the car that that might be a sign that I was not supposed to release that episode today, and I was actually supposed to release another one. And what I want to talk to you or share with you about today is this post that I came across on Instagram yesterday. The person who posted it, I really like the person in good friend of mine, but they were saying how they have a problem with manifestation. And the reason why they have a problem with manifestation is because they said that the only person who's going to make change in your life is you. So you're not going to change your life through wishful thinking or making a vision board or writing down goals. And the post irritated me and I actually wanted to comment on it and I wrote a comment and then I didn't write the comment because I don't really like engaging in social media wars or battles or arguments.

It's not really my thing, my style. But I've been thinking a lot about it because I used to have these beliefs too. I used to think that manifestation wasn't real. I thought it was wishful thinking, vision boards, yada, yada, yada, and you actually have to take change in your life. Then I got exposed to the idea of manifestation. Then I realized that I actually didn't understand what manifestation is about because a key part of manifestation is having action steps. It is having goals. It is acting on your dreams to make them come true. I want to tell you a little bit about the first time I was really exposed to the idea of manifestation. I had this amazing assistant teacher who I'm so friends with, we actually had coffee last week, and she was my assistant teacher for many years, I think three years when I worked at a private school in Abu Dhabi. And she was just getting into this spiritual journey when I met her. And she played a really amazing role in my life of exposing me to all of these ideas about spirituality. And one of the things she told me about was this story, which is true that Jim Carey wrote himself a check for a million dollars in 1985, and he did it for, I think, October of 1995.

And October of 1995 was when he got the role for Dumb and Dumber, and he made a million dollars in that job. And that's often a story told about the validity of manifestation, how it works, and it's real. I don't know for a fact what action steps Jim Carey took in this time, but I think a really important and key thing not to miss is that I'm sure he wasn't just sitting working at a gas station for the next 10 years waiting for the Dumb and Dumber job to land in his lap. So he had this dream. He had this vision. I want to make a million dollars, but then he actually took a line to action to make it happen. So he probably did act in classes. Maybe he auditioned for a bunch of roles. Maybe he networked. I'm sure there's many aligned actions that he took to then make it to the point in career that he made it. So he didn't just have wishful thinking about this check and then do nothing on it. And this is the biggest missing link for me. So, Bay exposed me to this idea of writing a check.

And one day me, my friend Madison and Bay, we all wrote checks. And I was thinking about this while I was here because I was spending time at Madison's apartment and she still has that on her fridge, which is really amazing. But I wrote myself this check and then I didn't get the money on the check, and then I thought that that was proof that manifestation didn't work. But I didn't do anything to make it happen. I just wrote it on the check and then let it go and then nothing happened. And then I was like, Oh, well, this doesn't actually work. Where manifestation changed in my life was when I met my psychic, Dan, who all of you, if you followed me for a while, if you've listened to this podcast, you've heard him before, you know the story. But I met him. He told me that I was going to start a yoga business and quit my job as a teacher. And the thing is that I don't think Dan really was the changing factor in this. I think what really changed for me was that I started to believe in myself. So I had a dream to be a full-time yoga teacher for probably seven years before I met Dan.

It wasn't new to me when I met Dan that I was going to be a full-time yoga teacher. That was a dream of mine for a long, long time. But what changed was because Dan told me that it was going to happen. I, first of all, had this dream. I believed it was going to happen. And then I started doing every single action step it took to make it happen. So I didn't just sit there and be like, I dream of being a yoga teacher. I dream of being a yoga teacher and then keep partying in Abu Dhabi, which is what I had been doing for years before. I thought I dream of being a yoga teacher. So I'm going to take aligned action to make this happen. I'm going to build my Instagram following. I'm going to launch a podcast. I am going to be consistent. I am going to try and fail all these different things. I'm going to try to teach kids yoga. I'm going to try to teach yoga for teachers. I'm going to try this and that. I am going to do everything I can to make this dream possible.

I spent all my free time building my website. I reach out to clients. I tried different marketing things, and then I let it go. And I trusted that it would work out for me. And it didn't happen exactly on the timeline that I wanted to, but I just kept working hard and eventually it did. So these are the three things, the three key steps that I teach when I teach manifestation. I teach desire, which is having a dream. You have a dream to be a full-time yoga teacher. You have a dream to travel to a certain place in the world. You have a dream, whatever your dream is, you have your dream. You're really clear on what that dream is. If you don't know what your dream is, I invite you to really start to practice different intuition practices that are going to help you do that. Things that are going to help you get closer to your intuition. So like yoga, meditation, movement, journaling, singing, just do things that are going to help you tap into your true self. And that's going to help you get closer to what that dream is. Okay. So have a dream, desire.

That's step one. Number two is dedication. You're committed to making this happen. You are dedicated. You are putting in the work. And this is where this person who I listen to on Instagram, I'm like, Okay, well, how do you actually learned about manifestation? Because that's step two. Step one is having a dream. Step two is action. We all know that you have to put in the work. Things are not just going to come to you. You have to have goals and actually take the steps to make them happen. And then the last thing is you have to let it go. You have to release and trust that it's going to work out for you. And even if you don't get the fruits of your labor, maybe it worked out in the best way possible. I'll give you an example of like, I really wanted to quit my job in 2019. I really want to quit being a teacher. And Dan said, No, wait, it's going to happen. I need a little longer. And I thought that I wasn't getting what I wanted and I was frustrated. I was like, This isn't working. I haven't been able to quit my job.

And then we all know what happened. In March of 2020, COVID pandemic hit. And if I had quit my job then to become a yoga teacher, I would have been in a really tough situation. It would have been really scary and really stressful. I wouldn't have had an income. I wouldn't have had a house. I probably would have had to go back home to Toronto because I waited until 2020. That was when the world shut down. I still had an income. I had an apartment to live in, and I have my job as a school teacher, but I had the ability to build my yoga business on the side. And so in 2019, I didn't get what I wanted at that time. My manifestation didn't come through in 2019. I couldn't quit my yoga job when I wanted to, but I got what I needed. And what I needed was more space and more time to keep building my business. And so that's what I did during the COVID pandemic. I'm locked down in my apartment and I'm building a podcast. I'm building an online teaching yoga on Zoom. I eventually launched my first online yoga teacher training in that pandemic.

So manifestation is not always getting what you want, but it's understanding that you're going to get what you need. And this is the same principle and the same thing that I applied this year in 2023 when I was manifesting a partner. So some of you, if you've been following me along on Instagram, you'll know that I really want to stop being single this year. And I'm going to back up and tell you a little bit about my history. So if you've listened to my podcast, I probably shared bits and pieces with this year. But in 2019, 2020, I was in an abusive, manipulative relationship with someone who was in a position of power over me. And as a result, I was pretty traumatized. I didn't think that I could date again. I didn't want to... I really wanted to focus on my business. I didn't want to get sucked into a situation like that again. I didn't really date for three years between 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022. Yeah, three years. I was dating him in 2019. So 2020, '21, 2022, I was mostly single. And in 2023, I had an ex-boyfriend come visit me in Bali the very beginning of the year.

And we had this really wonderful week together. It was so fun. I told him, I don't really date anymore. And he asked me why. I said, take so much work to get to know someone, and I just don't care. I don't have the time. And he said to me, If we had never dated and you hadn't put in the work to get to know me, then we wouldn't be here right now. And this was a pivotal reframe for me where I was like, wow, he's right that I was putting in the work. And that's how I got to know him. And that's why we felt so comfortable and happy. It's because we had put in the effort to get to know each other. And so I realized all these years I've said, Oh, I wish I wasn't single. I wish I wasn't lonely. And then I would just sit in my apartment hoping and waiting for someone to come and knock on my door and be like, I'm your soulmate. And so after that conversation, I realized I've my business. I've manifested my move to Bali. I've manifested a lot of cool things in my life.

I have not put in any work to manifest a partner or even a community in Bali. So I was like, I need to actually apply the same strategies that I'm applying to my business. I need to apply that to my relationships and love and partnership. So I got really clear on my desire. I was like, I don't want to be single anymore. I really want to find a partner this year. And I know me and I know that I need a plan to take action. I can't just sit there and be like, I want a partner. I'm going to manifest a partner. I'm going to meditate on a partner. I'm going to vision board a partner. Of course, having a vision of what you want a partner is really important. And that's why we do the visualization. That's why we create vision boards or create books or journal. It's because we really want to get clear on what we're looking for. I got really clear on what am I looking for in a partner? I want someone who has the similar beliefs to me that are feminist, liberal, open-minded. They have to align with me on key political perspectives.

My partner has to align with me on... I really want a spiritual partner. I want a partner who's going to want to do this wildlife that I'm living with me. I want a partner who wants to have kids with me and bring our kids around the world on yoga retreats and yoga teacher trainings. I really want to have a retreat center one day, and I really want a partner who shares that dream with me. I want a partner who loves music. I want a partner who makes me laugh. And I put all these things in my vision. These are all the things I want. And then I took action. So I decided this year that I was going to do 50 dates. I was going to put myself out there. And every time that I got asked on a date this year, I went. I went on Tinder, I swiped, I matched. I met so many amazing people and I was blogging about it at one point. I actually stopped blogging midway through the year because something happened. I had met two people that I really liked early on in the year. I met one person that I dated for two months in March, who I don't know if I talked about it on the podcast.

He was super spiritual, super amazing person. And then I met someone else in... When did I meet him? In June. And he was also super special, but for a different reason. He had been through a sober journey. He was super cool, super handsome, but he definitely didn't see himself leaving Canada at any point in his future and life, which, as you guys know, that's really important to my lifestyle. I want somebody who's going to want to live internationally with me. So anyway, the reason why I stopped blogging about my dates was because I posted something that really blew up on Instagram. I posted something about how this guy didn't want to meet my sister, which was a joke. And I wasn't really engaging with social media. And when I got back to social media, I found that people had taken it a really wrong way. And they thought that they were judging him for not meeting my sister. Then some of them were judging me for putting that expectation on people when really it was all just a joke because I had one week in Canada and wanted to spend time with him while also spending time with my sister.

Anyway, but I just decided I'm going to stop blogging about my dating life. So I stopped and that was in June. And in that time, I've still been open to dating. I've also been really busy. I took on a new job at a yoga teacher training school. My mom came out to Bali, so I was dating less and less, but I still was taking action. And then I just let it go. And so we have the desire, the dream. I don't want to be single. We have the dedication, which is me going on the 50 dates and being open and being vulnerable and brave. And then we just have to trust and let and go. And the biggest thing that I want to say about all of this is that when I met him, so I do have a boyfriend now, by the way, I have a blog post. I haven't posted about him at all on social media. But the biggest thing I want to share about meeting him was that I was, at the time when we met, I was really, really leaning into my wellbeing. So I was at this peak of taking care of myself.

And as you might have seen on some of my posts and social media, I got really into walking 10,000 steps a day in October. I started doing yoga practice every day at 5:00 AM. And I also have a personal trainer I've been working with for six months. We do boxing and weightlifting. And I also try to take yoga classes as often as I can when I'm in Bali as a student. So all of these things were just swirling around me, creating this energy of wellbeing and joy. I found a job I love, I'm eating well, all of these things. And I do believe that it was this energy of self-care and taking care of myself that drew us together, which I think is really important because we want to be in a high vibration to call in our desires. If we're in a high vibration, if we're feeling well, we're going to be more confident. We're going to just have this aura of peace and energy that people are going to sense when they need us and when they see us in a room. And I feel like that's almost what happened. And we just were drawn...

Well, he was drawn to me. I was in a rush. I was coming from yoga class. I was about to do a personal training session. Then one of my friends came in, so I only had 20 minutes. I really didn't have that much time. But sat down next to him in a cafe, and we've just been inseparable ever since. And I have to say on that wellbeing note that ever since I met him, it's been a little bit of a different story because we were having so much fun together. We went to all these concerts. We were watching movies. We were going to Kirtan, going to open nights all in Bali. And so I wasn't really doing all my 5:00 AM yoga. I was still doing my personal training. I dropped my 10,000 steps. We were also eating lots of junk food, which was nice, like vegan ice cream and vegan pizza and all that stuff. But Elizabeth Gilbert, she said famously in Eat, Pray, Love, this happened to Elizabeth Gilbert. When she was in Bali, she met someone that she really cared about and she totally stopped doing her morning meditations, blah, blah, blah.

And Coutut Lier, who I'm good friends with the family of Coutut Lier, the medicine man actually live... My villa is owned by people that are in the family of Coutut Lier, the medicine man, which is crazy. And if you come to Bali, you're going to meet this family if you come on our retreat and you'll learn how to make Bali offerings and everything. But anyway, Elizabeth Gilbert went to Katut Lier. She said, Man, I've totally lost balance. And Katut Lier says to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life. And so I kept reminding myself of that when I was feeling guilty about losing balance, losing my practices, because to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life. So if you've lost balance for love in any way, it doesn't have to be romantic love. Maybe you have new friends, maybe you're loving your new job or you're loving some new hobby or you're in a new city and you're just loving the new city. And so you're eating junk food and having fun and staying out late, that's okay. You don't need to feel guilty because losing balance for love is part of losing a balanced life.

But you just need to start to come back when you realize I need to get back into what really makes me well. And that's what I've been really focusing on since I got to Abu Dhabi and Dubai. So I've been doing my 10,000 steps every day, and I've tried to get back into my practice, kept up my workouts, eating well, just trying to get back into balance. But anyway, I wanted to share all of this because this whole thing reminded me. I saw this Instagram post yesterday, and I was like, Okay, manifestation is not just like something with your mind where you're like, I'm going to will this boyfriend into my life because I've been trying to will this love and this boyfriend into my life for years, for three years. And finally, I realized I have to actually take action on this. I have to visualize who he is, and then I have to put myself out there. I have to go on date. I have to take risks. I have to try to find him. And then I'm just going to let it go and I'm just going to focus on me and myself here.

And that's how you manifest. It's so simple. It's to have a dream, desire, you to put in the dedication to make it happen, and then you let it go. So, as you know, manifestation is a big part of what I teach because I really believe in it. I actually led a manifestation workshop in Abu Dhabi last weekend. I had 14 women there. It was incredible. It was almost fully sold out. And I'm going to offer that exact same workshop online on Zoom on the 27th of December to help you manifest your dreams in 2024. I did a similar workshop last year. It's similar in that we're making manifestation books, but what makes it different than last year is one, you are going to get a book mailed to your house. And two, the structure of the book is a little bit different. So I'm teaching about finding your darma, which is your life purpose; the arta, which is the material means; kama, which is finding joy; and then which is finding freedom or liberation. And we're going to talk about these themes in your life. And also we're going to talk a little bit about the yamas and niyamas and how to implement them every day.

So it's a really yoga philosophy, aligned and guided work. And I'm so excited about this. I feel like I've manifested so much in the past few years. And when I lead these workshops, I also get into it, too. And so I'm going to be thinking a lot about, okay, what's next on my list? I've manifested, moving to Bali, I've manifested my yoga career. I have manifested this amazing boyfriend, Inshallah. Hopefully, he stays around. And if he's not the one, then he's just teaching me a lot about love and life and joy. And I've said to him, You brought music into my life. He's brought music into my life. He's a musician and we've been to so many concerts together. And so, yeah, even if things do not work out, you just trust this person is on your path for a reason. He might not be my forever soulmate, but he's come into my life to teach me something and that's where the trust element comes in. So the manifestation workshop, it's a three-hour workshop on Zoom. You have to sign up in the next day or so because I'm actually going to physically mail you a book.

So if you don't sign up now, then you're not going to get the book mailed to you in time for the workshop. So I'm going to put the link of that in this podcast episode. It's on Zoom. It's a retreat on the 27th of December. Anyone can do it around the world. I'm also going to offer Christmas Eve Yen, which is a tradition. I've done this every year. My Nana did it with me last year. She's like 95. I don't think she's going to do it with me this year, but we'll see. But definitely, hopefully my mom, hopefully other members of my family will be there. And on New Year's Eve, I'm doing New Year's Eve yoga, which I always do. It's a 90-minute practice. We choose a word of the year, and that's super impactful because the word of my year this year was, I'm pretty sure, joy. And I feel really good about that because that's what has manifested into my life this year has been joy. And something else I want to tell you about New Year's is that on New Year's Eve, I am going to be with my boyfriend. I'm going to visit him in Vancouver and before I fly back to Bali.

So maybe if you sign up for New Year's Eve yoga, you can meet him. I haven't told him that yet that he's doing New Year's Eve yoga with me. I think it's like 6:00 in the morning in Vancouver. But anyway, I'm really excited. Maybe you'll meet him then if you join on Zoom. But just to remember these three things about manifestation, desire, dedication, and trust. And I'm wondering what are you trying to manifest for 2024? So I'm going to post that in the Sober Girls Yoga Facebook group and join us in the group and comment on the post. What are you manifesting for 2024? All right, everyone, have a wonderful day. Good to check in and chat and I will connect with you all soon.

Hi, friend. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Sober Yoga Girl Podcast. This community wouldn't exist without you here, so thank you. It would be massively helpful if you could subscribe, leave a review and share this podcast so it can reach more people. If we haven't met yet in real life, please come get your one week free trial of the Sober Girls Yoga membership and see what we're all about. Sending you love and light wherever you are in the world.