Episode 149: LOTE: Reclaiming Control Today
In episode 149 of the Sober Vibes podcast, it's Livin on the El-Edge week. This means Courtney Andersen and Kimberly Elledge are talking about reclaiming control for the rest of 2023. Stop waiting and start doing it now!
STORIES from the Streets series continue.....Ever heard about a 70-year-old millionaire who wanted to pay $3,000 just to be tickled?
What you will learn in this episode:
Thank you for listening.
Reviews help the show. Please rate, Review, and Subscribe to the Sober Vibes Podcast.
Thank you to our Sponsors.
As a show listener, you get exclusive discounts from our Sponsor. Make sure to check them out and support the show. SOBERLINK, click here to shop and save $50 on your device. Listen to episode 115 to learn more about Soberlink.
As a show listener, you receive 20% off your order with EXACT NATURE. Make sure to check them out and support the show. EXACT NATURE, click here to shop and save 20% off with code "SV20." Free shipping on all orders! Please listen to episode 129 with Thomas White to learn more about CBD.
To Connect with Kimberly:
Instagram
To Connect with Courtney:
Follow Sober Vibes on Instagram
8-week Coaching Program-Next Level Sober Support
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Grab your Free Sober Routine Checklist
Free Mocktail Menu
Episode 149: LOTE: Reclaiming Control Today
In episode 149 of the Sober Vibes podcast, it's Livin on the El-Edge week. This means Courtney Andersen and Kimberly Elledge are talking about reclaiming control for the rest of 2023. Stop waiting and start doing it now!
STORIES from the Streets series continue.....Ever heard about a 70-year-old millionaire who wanted to pay $3,000 just to be tickled?
What you will learn in this episode:
Thank you for listening.
Reviews help the show. Please rate, Review, and Subscribe to the Sober Vibes Podcast.
Thank you to our Sponsors.
As a show listener, you get exclusive discounts from our Sponsor. Make sure to check them out and support the show. SOBERLINK, click here to shop and save $50 on your device. Listen to episode 115 to learn more about Soberlink.
As a show listener, you receive 20% off your order with EXACT NATURE. Make sure to check them out and support the show. EXACT NATURE, click here to shop and save 20% off with code "SV20." Free shipping on all orders! Please listen to episode 129 with Thomas White to learn more about CBD.
To Connect with Kimberly:
Instagram
To Connect with Courtney:
Follow Sober Vibes on Instagram
8-week Coaching Program-Next Level Sober Support
BREAKTHROUGH-30 Day Text/Email Support
The Ultimate Guide to Sobriety e-book
Join the women-only Sober Vibes Facebook group
Grab your Free 30-Day Sober Not Boring Calendar
Grab your Free Sober Routine Checklist
Free Mocktail Menu
This is Courtney. This is Kimberly. You are listening to the show within the show Living on the Elige.
Speaker 2:Come live with us. We're talking about the road to recovery and sobriety and how to vibe and maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome to the Silver Vibes podcast. I am your host, courtney Anderson, and it is Living on the Elige Week, which means it's the show within the show, as you could tell by the intro music. You already knew what time it was. But if you're new to the Silver Vibes world because this podcast has grown a lot over the past two months Welcome, welcome, welcome, kimberly.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody. What's popping? Kimberly Ann Elige here. I'm Courtney's older sister, more wise and mature, oh man.
Speaker 1:So, before we get into it today, we will let me tell you about what we're going to talk about and what we're going to share about finishing this year strong. All right, kim. What's been going on in your world?
Speaker 2:Y'all know me, I'm just out here grinding. It's hard out here for a pimp. Nothing, nothing just working. You got to work right now because we're in Detroit, Michigan, and our union brothers big strike going on, everybody big strike. So whenever something's going on with the auto industry, it affects the trickle down, it affects the local economy. So we don't like that dislike button.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I dislike it because Matthew's job, his Matthew, is in design and his particular, his unit, is union. So UAW, uaw. So I mean I feel bad, for I do feel bad for the workers, because this affects a lot of factory workers and it's just, it's not right, you know. I mean, the things that they are asking for the most part, are very fair.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's fair, and you know when these CEOs start getting these huge increases and making all this money and they're selling cars at 40% more now, and but the work wages have stayed the same. That's. It's not right.
Speaker 1:Is that right? I mean, the one thing that they are asking for, which I just don't see them getting, but who knows, is that 32 hour work week? I just don't see that. But you never know, you just never know.
Speaker 2:I don't really understand that. Like what the fuck are we talking about? Are you guys toddlers? Like 32 hour a full-time work week? It's like 40 hours. What do you mean? 32? What are we on a yoga retreat here Just chilling? Fuck. No, we're Detroiters building cars. Let's go 40 hours a week. That's nuts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but this goes into other states. The Jeep factory is in Toledo, ohio, so there's just so much be with. But I think Ford came back with a, with an offer, so so it's just crazy. It's crazy, but you know, good news is that wag wag came to agreement. So good for them. I'm very happy for them. So, because that one was a five month strike man, that was the fuck is lag. The writers, actor Gilda.
Speaker 2:Oh, that union, oh, I don't care about them, I don't give a fuck, whatever. But I do care about the blue collar worker because you know, I'm sure, working in a factory that's no bullshit. Can you imagine that work culture? Oh my God.
Speaker 1:No, I cannot, I cannot, so so that's enough about union talk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll shut the fuck up on that.
Speaker 1:But also to last time you and I spoke. We started a new series called stories from the streets and I am telling you. I heard back from so many women who enjoyed that and I loved a couple of them. What was that lady's name again? Oh, the woman who was knocking on your door like the police.
Speaker 2:Oh, what the fuck was her name? I don't want to remember it because I'm going to get with a Fatima.
Speaker 1:Fatima. Yes, a couple of messages, yeah, a couple of messages I received was fuck Fatima.
Speaker 2:For real Thanks. Thanks everybody for supporting me, oh man.
Speaker 1:So we do have a story from the streets after we get through this podcast today, this episode of just finishing out the year strong and this is more of a pep talk than anything you know of what of. It's not like Kim and I are going to give you a tangible advice here, but just a little pep talk to finish out your strong of. You know, if you feel like you're stuck in a rut or you have had a couple of bumps in the road for your sober journey, that you don't have to wait till the first of the year to be like, all right, it's already fucked up, I'll just wait till January 1st, just start over today, because this is one thing I know you don't want to go into the holidays feeling like bigfoot stick.
Speaker 1:No that's the worst. It's the worst and then because then it just adds to where the holidays and especially to if you're one who doesn't really like the holidays or these you know these next couple of months that going like you really want to go in with a good mindset so you can start enjoying the rest of 2023, then these holidays and the season of change, you can enjoy it and change with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know as sure I know, my sister and I were New Year's resolution girlies and we were definitely the girlies. I'll do it tomorrow. I'm going to start fresh tomorrow and it was always tomorrow. Big dick, procrastination, energy coming off of us through for a lot of years. And you know, I've heard a few people just normies. Regular people are like oh, I'm going to start this, I'm looking into even for dying and exercise, oh, I'm looking into this meal prep kit, but I think I'm going to wait to start till, you know, for the New Year's and get through the holidays. It's what? The new year, that's in three months.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I keep up with bad habits that aren't making you feel good, like whatever habits you want to do with your eating, that's fine. But I keep hearing you bringing up how I don't feel. Well, I feel like I need to change my eating habits. I need to do this. And it's cool, we could all clean it up with the eating. But you know, one of my friends wants some specific goals and then they threw in well, I'm just going to wait till the first of the year. I'm like, what the fuck? Do you know how much progress you can make in the next three months and how much better you can feel in going through the holidays like feeling great, you know, getting a jump start on it, as opposed to waiting for three months, because you can do a lot of damage with your diet in three months.
Speaker 1:Well, with your diet, with anything, you want to start sleeping better, start creating a healthier sleep routine. If you want to start working on your anxiety, you know you can start doing breath work and meditation now. So yeah, so this goes to anything, that's just diet. I want to. Yes, you want to quit drinking alcohol. Start today.
Speaker 2:Right. So it's you know, and especially with yeah, I wasn't just honing in on the diet and exercise. I'm not a dickhead. I know I was using as a fucking example Jesus man For me. Okay, courtney, I want to start reading more.
Speaker 2:So, I am going to go with everybody. I finished this one bitch's book I know, sober vibes. It's by Courtney Anderson. I finished her book last week and it was awesome. I was so proud of my sister. I shed a couple of tears in it because I was just like just proud of her. And you know, I was proud of her because I know my sister was not the best in school and every year you know had to not to throw your business out here to the streets, but I'm gonna my sister had to go every year.
Speaker 2:I always felt bad for her when I was younger because Courtney always had to go to summer school and I think there was like a little bit of dyslexia that was not diagnosed. So Courtney always struggled in school. It just wasn't her forte and it's it made me feel bad that every summer we just knew Courtney was going to summer school. We knew that's what Courtney was doing. She graduated, she made it through, she did great. But for her to write a book, especially on this topic, was inspiring. You know your first 90 days in recovery and it just was a proud sister moment because it just I know she had to overcome, like when she was in the writing process like it's. It doesn't. It was probably some parts of that were a little challenging and she just, she did it, she did the damn thing. So I put that book down, very proud of my sister, and there were some like tips that I picked up on some things that I'm going to go back to and redo like a little bit of work, like there's some journaling and stuff in it and parts where you can write in and kind of go along with the process. But yeah, I just finished that book by Courtney Anderson and it was really cool.
Speaker 2:But back to I want to start reading more because I kind of got off of that, I kind of got off of that hustle and it's doesn't make me feel good when I get off of that, because I feel so accomplished after I get a book read. It's just great after you read that last page and you're like oh, fuck, yeah, and you can just put that one aside to your pile that you've that have been completed and it's just, it makes me feel like I've accomplished something and I've learned something new. Or if I'm reading for fun or whatever, it's just reading. It's an enjoyable experience.
Speaker 2:But sometimes I get off track, which I have been currently. It took a lot for me just even sit down and read my own fucking sister's book, cause just sometimes my attention span is I'll have to like reread a page like four times, just cause like where I'm at personally. But my goal is to start reading again and get my book hustle back on. So instead of waiting to start that goal in the first of the year, I'm just going to start it now and I can go into this new year strong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, thank you for the plug that I didn't even have to ask you to do so. Thank you, but actually thank you for just reading the book, because that to me means a lot for you, just reading it, because you're probably the only one in our family who has read it.
Speaker 2:I know that's right, cause don't, when we're ever I'll be like so. Is anyone read Courtney's book? And then, if people tell me, yes, I'm going to revert back to page whatever 86 and start quizzing motherfuckers. Oh yeah, they're like oh, you did, did you really?
Speaker 1:So I appreciate it because your, your opinion means a lot and, like I said, when we were at the book party, I like I got the writing, like I knew I could write, after I read grandma, the note I read to grandma and you said to me on her funeral, at Jerry's funeral, you were like you wrote that, I guess, and you're like that was pretty good, you're a good writer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was like to be honest, courtney, I'm not trying to be rude or funny right now. I'm shocked because it was so articulate and beaut, beautifully written and read and I was like, oh shit, I didn't know you had it in you. I learned something about you that day, so that was yeah, I get. You are, you know, didn't give yourself enough credit all those years, and now it's all come to fruition, but incredible stuff.
Speaker 1:And I have to say this because I do want to get tested. I've always wanted to get tested to see if I did have some type of learning disability, which I'm now going to do, turning 40. That's one of my goals this year. By the end of this year I want to get that test done. But I think for anybody like school when you don't have, you know, we had no structure growing up, especially to post-divorce. So that was at age seven for me, and there, you know, when you're not, you don't have a home where there's like homeworks of priority or a parent is waking you up in the morning to tell you to get up to go to school. You know it's just. There was no structure, so there was no rules for us. Sister.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1:And school, and I wasn't a fan of school because I didn't apply myself. But, yes, learning like that was hard. That's why I think the I won't go on a school talk, but you know, I mean to each their own and that's the whole thing. I will forever remember this. When I went to Schoolcraft College and we talked about this and that college counselor was like how did you even graduate high school? Cause I had to take that math placement test. And I remembered that I left there crying cause I'm like Jesus dude. Then place me in the most basic math test. Like why would you say such a thing to somebody Like you know? So fuck you. Schoolcraft College counselor back in circa 20 or 2000. That's what I would just mean for anybody out there, and I did a podcast episode about the book and speaking about this and I just think it's.
Speaker 1:You have these people who hold these positions who tell you what they think you can and cannot do based on fucking test taking. And not every brain is a good test taker man, it's just dude. I have no interest in math. I don't, I do not. It does not give me a boner. I think math is trash. But guess what? For the years of working in the industry, I'm a fucking wizard when it comes to subtraction. In addition, oh, look at you. But I am because of just that knowledge of what I learned and had to do very quickly, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll tell you 20%. Well, I'll tell you what 20% is real fucking quick, but I should be getting in my little paw. If you want to know what 25% is, 24 of a fucking bill. You want to know 18, I'm gonna knock it over real quick and it'll be spot on Right, so yeah.
Speaker 1:So I just think for anybody. Don't like people telling you what they think you are good and good at no, don't listen to them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't let somebody tell you what your limits are. Fuck them.
Speaker 1:Exactly so, yeah, so I think, reading for you. I think that is great and that's the whole thing. Right? That's one thing that you can do where you could just apply fuck 10 minutes a day if that's the maximum or the max you wanna apply to, and that will all.
Speaker 2:Here's one. I want my new routine. This is like a goal is, as we all know here and living on the L edge, kimberly doesn't sleep. I do not sleep. So I want to get into a sleep routine. I order some of that magnesium because I've been reading all the benefits of that and start getting my nutrients in with the magnesium because it helps with the sleep. My tart cherry juice and then having my phone locked at a certain time so I don't get that blue screen. And then, right when I wake up, not grabbing for my phone and instead I have my book out. So, right when I wake up, I'm like activating my mind. First I get my water and coffee, but then activating my mind and read for 20 minutes, as opposed to grabbing for the phone, because I got a bad habit of doing that. I am guilty. So that's just a small habit to regular people.
Speaker 2:This doesn't sound like big shit For me. It's gonna be, you know, it's gonna take a little dedication and just mindfulness of doing it, but that's definitely a routine that I would like to get in. So and it's something that I know that needs to happen for my circadian rhythm and my sleep. So it's gotta be done so, as opposed to me like waiting till the first of the year, which in the past I'd be like, oh God, I gotta get through the holidays. Work's gonna be crazy, bup, bup, bup. Everything's always popping sometime. It doesn't matter if it's the holidays, if it's fucking spring, if it's summer, there's travel going on, whatever, like the time is now. So just gonna start doing that so I can wake up and get rested and hopefully get some REM sleep, and so I wake up the best version of myself and start working my mind with like words and like sentences, because I have really bad diagnosed ADHD. So I feel like too, that'll help me get centered in the morning and focused and in a focused mindset, because y'all this shit pops off.
Speaker 2:I mean the other day I was getting ready for work and the downstairs kitchen faucet was on and then I was like what the fuck is that noise? And then I left the fucking bathroom faucet on. I go downstairs to shut off the kitchen faucet. I was like, oh damn, I left that running because I wasn't paying attention, had eight things going on in the kitchen. Then I am like, going back upstairs I said I thought I just turned off that fucking faucet downstairs. Oh, I did y'all. When then I left the bathroom running. It's just like how my brain works, so I'm constantly like fighting against myself. So I feel like starting to be focused in the morning is just gonna help me be more organized, like a little bit in my mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I have to say this because I'm learning more about this, about lepeton resistance, a hormone resistance in that blue light in the morning time.
Speaker 1:You wanna get sun instead of the artificial light and the blue light. So, plus two, when you grab for your phone, you are then inviting a thousand people into your bedroom. Yeah, when you go and pick up your phone and then start taking on that energy I because I had to break this too, especially being a new mom with the phone, because it was very easy for me to zone out or just get on my phone for saying in the morning before getting up with the dictator and to like being up all night with him, whatever. So, and two, bringing that energy. If you get like a shitty email, then two, a shitty email or a text message. Looking at that the first thing in the morning, it's like you just ruined your whole goddamn day. And if you would have taken care of yourself first, then bring that energy on after 10 am. But going back to the hormones, too, with women it's good not to look at artificial light so early in the morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just starting to get up and just do something for yourself. I mean, we're all guilty, we're all guilty. So I'm gonna try last something a little more positive as opposed to like cause I'm like a TikTok whore, and as opposed to checking out a couple of funny TikToks before I get out of bed. And since I work nights, it's my mornings. I don't have to have this regiment in like early morning routine unless I'm like doing working for the nonprofit, then I gotta pop up so I can kind of like leisurely. You know I start moving about about 10.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, it's fine. So if you have, if you are stuck in a little bit of a rut or there's something, even not even a rut, but you're like you know what, I wanna add this too and we encourage you not to wait till the end of the year, because that's 90 days that you could be adding that habit on now, and just the progress you can see within yourself of how much better you would feel in 90 days. I have to say my September, one of my intentions for September, but I started this like the last week of August. No, maybe it was like second week to last of August. Anyways, I have now completed 51 days of learning Spanish. I've done it consecutively and oh shit, give us something.
Speaker 2:Hit us with something.
Speaker 1:Oh man, now you're gonna put me on the spot and it's gonna-.
Speaker 2:All right, I'll start job. Hola como esta.
Speaker 1:Muy bien y tu.
Speaker 2:Oh, mucho bien.
Speaker 1:So well they have. You. Like I could do a travel one, or if I order un café, amacking videos of myself, esteen BlitXae.
Speaker 2:You want to go to the cafe to have a coffee?
Speaker 1:A coffee, I want to say without milk, seen, as either with or without it's seen or cone, that is, with or without. Anyways, I'm learning, so I'm thinking.
Speaker 2:French cafe. What the fuck cafe is coffee?
Speaker 1:Yes, but honestly I do that at nighttime on the app and there's so many languages you can learn on there, but I'm just doing it nighttime before I put away my phone and like even going back to it, and when I start doing it it's just I feel good, because I want to. You know, I took Spanish in high school. I want to build that and it's good for the brain, so just like little and that only. My lessons are five minutes each night, like it's. You don't have to go balls to the wall and I don't encourage anybody to add on a hundred and one things to try to improve by the end of the year. Add on one and even if that just goes back to you know I'm not going to drink alcohol from now to the end of the year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or smoke and crack.
Speaker 1:Yeah or smoke crack. I mean whatever your DOCS.
Speaker 1:So DOC is triggering because then for me that's the Department of Corrections and I was very close to having a number Well, okay, so let us know, slide into our DMs and let us know, or email me and let us know what you are going to be, what is your thing you're going to do to, and it could be putting up boundaries with family, it can be anything of something that's been weighing on your heart and something you want to prove upon, and you know, let us know, share with us.
Speaker 2:So don't waste three months of 2023, like trying to get to 2024. We got three good months of. You know it's fall the other day was the first day of fall and let's stop rushing these timelines and be like present and, you know, take like the dates and the constraints and all of that out of it and just you know every day, what do you, just, what do you want to do? That's going to. That'll make you feel good, maybe something that you promised yourself you were going to do. If you are like a resolution or something that you said you were going to get done in 2023. It might not have gotten done yet and you know, just the time is now so you can switch up anything and just one decision, a switch of a mindset, and get shit done and take care of yourself and do so. You are the best version of yourself. You know evolving and just making doing, having a better quality of life, because no matter how good someone's life is, you can always like be better. And you know, even if it's just like a simple act of kindness, going out and like connecting with a stranger, I mean those are always like my favorite things to do, like even going out.
Speaker 2:I watched Courtney and I. We went to out the other day. I met her in the morning. She brought the dictator to Plymouth and we had a little outside play date and we had fun.
Speaker 2:And I watched this one woman. There are these ladies who are spreading the word of the good Lord standing on the corner. You know they were like preaching out there, whatever. So this one lady, she walked up to him. I swear it made me want to cry. I said something to this lady and she's you ladies are out here every day. She's I'm going to go to Starbucks, can I get you, girl, something?
Speaker 2:And it was these two African American women. I think they had come in from the city and they were standing there just like nicest buck. And I just watched this. You know I'm not bringing a race into it, but I watched this nice older white lady walk up to them and just offer them something to drink. She went to Starbucks, brought her back a coffee because obviously they were glued to their post, and it was just like such a nice act of kindness. So I crossed the street. I saw this lady again. I said hey, I just want to let you know that was super rad. That was like such a nice act of kindness that you did and she's yeah, you know well, it's not particularly my faith or what I believe in, but they were Jehovah's. Oh, is that what they were?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Jehovah's Witness yes.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, she's, but they're human beings and they're out there every day, dedicated, so they deserved a little Starbucks treat. I said, well, hell yeah, everyone deserves a Starbucks treat. So I just that was very like inspiring and just like a small. I love when I see shit like that, cause I do shit like that and it's even just talking to someone and checking in with a stranger, just like, if they're okay, you don't have the means to, you don't always have to just buy a straight someone do something Like it's just stopping and smiling at someone and asking them how they're doing, cause everyone's so disconnected. That's the kind of shit I love to see, you know. So I don't know, I don't know what the fuck my point was, but I liked it.
Speaker 1:You were talking about acts of kindness, right, right. Oh yeah, just simple yeah, connecting with human beings and, again, maybe you want to be nicer to your kids, whatever the case may be.
Speaker 2:Yeah To whoever Be nicer to yourself, to your kids, to your community, whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't, and this is the thing. Do you go through periods of time? That's why I said stuck in a rut, right, or something you want to prove upon, you don't always have to be approving, improving upon, you don't always have to be doing the most. But that's why I stated if you're feeling a certain type of way, start now and don't wait, you know, because life can get stagnant.
Speaker 2:It does and people you know, and it can get stagnant. And being okay is okay too. You know what I mean. Yeah, it's just we got these last three months and of the year going into the holidays, things get crazy. So more it's maybe mindfulness and before life starts sweeping everything up and kicking it up and you get into the fucking grind of the holidays, you know, don't forget about yourself and the quality of life that you want. And you know, corny and I saying too is sometimes it's like you got to get ahead of it because shit moves fast.
Speaker 1:So I think Shit moves fast and can take you out pretty easily nowadays with just mental health and fucking the world.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. We're just like you got to get ahead of it. And so, yeah, we just want to just, you know, a little mindfulness and get ahead of it and a positive mindset. And two, when you're in if you're in active addiction or recovery listen to this. The holidays can be, can amp up your addiction, and the holidays for some people it's triggering. You know you're going to start having Halloween and then the Thanksgiving and Christmas, you know, and these are all like big times of drinking and stress with family and stuff. So just going into being aware that this time of year is fucking upon us and just getting into a good mindset. So for me, reading it sounds like the most minute thing, small thing, but it's going to keep me focused and like on my shit. So I like, have a strong holiday season and I'm not, you know, don't go down a rabbit hole and get caught up in like the grind of work and then we just want to be. I want to be present and just try to not spiral.
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Speaker 1:Hey, I would love to share with you something that I think could work great for you. Imagine you just got sober. You're working your program, checking in with a recovery sober coach, checking in with your sponsor, maintaining your employment and thriving. Now imagine none of your closest friends or family believe you. This is why I'm sharing this, because early on in my sobriety there was a couple of times Matt didn't believe that I was sober. So much trust is lost during active addiction and it can be hard to convince loved ones that things are different, that you're different. This is where sober link can help. Sober links remote alcohol monitoring system is designed to help you sustain a sober lifestyle while rebuilding trust with loved ones. Small enough to fit in your purse or pocket and discreet enough to use in public, sober link devices combine facial recognition, tamper detection and real time results, so friends and family know instantly that you're sober and working towards your recovery goals.
Speaker 1:As a sober coach, I really can't think of a better tool to maintain accountability, strengthen community, improve sobriety to loved ones. Now you might be thinking like, do I really need this? And honestly, it's different for everybody. I know quite a few people who have had to use this or something like this to prove to their spouses and or family members that they are sober. This does not just affect the person who is the drinker, I mean. A lot of damage happens during your act of addiction and accountability needs to take place, and with this tool, you can show that let's make 2023 a memorable one. Please visit wwwsoberlinkcom forward slash sober dash vibes to sign up and receive $50 off your device. The link is in the show notes. Check it out. If you do get this device, please feel free to reach out and let me know how it has helped you in your sober journey. All right, so we have a quick stories from the street today. I mean, my sister already told me the story the other day and I don't know how to process it.
Speaker 2:Well, we were talking about how like the weird situations that addiction brings you weird situations.
Speaker 2:You know that you find yourself in that any normal person who just goes like to the bar and have a couple drinks and goes home would never really find themselves in. And I was laughing when she was like Courtney brought up the stories from the streets and we were just like talking about this subject. So I there's clearly like a lot of stories that I don't tell my sister. I mean, she knows pretty much all of them, but there's like this one situation that if Kim were to tell me a story, that's what?
Speaker 1:in my reaction I was just like oh my, there's no story that Kim has told me where I'm like, it doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't. She has partake then. Yeah. So I was obviously at the height of my addiction, living in Denver, and I was working a bar, a very high-end bar, and, as you guys know us, we always work in nice places. So I was waiting on a lot of millionaires, because the place above was all residents and on the bottom of the floor was a tequila bar and a restaurant. So I was waiting on a lot of people and I'll tell you this millionaires and rich people they're weird. They're weird motherfuckers, especially when it comes to sex. I don't know if they've had all of it. So then they just have to get creative or what the fuck is happening, or they just are too busy making money and being rich and telling peasants what they need to be doing that they haven't dealt with healing their inner child or they're not healed people. They're just really good at making money, so they don't have to be civilized human beings.
Speaker 2:So my regular throughout my whole career have always taken really good care of me. They've always taken a liking to me. I'm good at what I do, I'm back there, I'm getting people fucked up. I know how to handle people, whatever. So this particular regular was I think he was like 70 years old and he would come down all the time and he always was throwing money at me, loved to get fucked up. At this time I was selling a lot of blow from behind the bar and he that 70 year old son of a bitch loved cocaine and sometimes he would have parties back up at his place. Hey, after a shift like when you're done come up and have a drink. So I was familiar with like his penthouse and all that shit.
Speaker 2:So one night, I think he got a little bit too comfortable and he's, and it was like the time of the month where my I don't know what was happening, but a bunch of money sounded real good to me. So he was like and this is the situation where a normal person would say no, but in my attic brain I he piqued my interest. So he said are you interested in Kimberly? Are you interested in making some money? And I was like I'm always interested in making money, man, what do you mean? And he's well, I have a proposition for you. And I said okay, well, do I'm not going to fuck you? No, that's not going to be a thing. And he's I don't know. You can. You don't have to do any sexual act, you don't have to take your clothes off, I just need you to do something for me. And he's, and I got some. You know, I got a bunch of blow up stairs and I'll pay you $3,000. And I was like, oh, my God do.
Speaker 2:I have to kill somebody, cause I'm also not down for that. What is happening? So he's just come upstairs when you're done and we'll talk about it. He's come upstairs like you always do We'll have a drink anyways and this man like had all the finest to kill you. Go up there. It was like a fucking addict's, like Candy Land, right. So we go out there, we start partying. Shit's getting weird. I was like all right, man, what's the tea? And he had on the table three bands. So he had the money on the table and a couple of bags of low for me to take. So I started partying and getting weird and my sister seen me in active addiction, so she knows when I started the worst.
Speaker 2:Studio 54 is the worst. Courtney used to hate partying with me because at one point if I did too much I would just get quiet and weird.
Speaker 1:And like lurk around. Yeah, and I never had that experience when, in the day when, you know, I really loved cocaine, I never had the experience of getting weird, and so I said it. But you, but I had a roommate too who would be the same way, like where I'm, like Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:I think that's like a true addict, drug addict behavior you know weirdness. Yeah, weird, and lurk around and peek out peep holes of your door and think the aliens are coming.
Speaker 1:Right and I just wanted to talk about the kid life.
Speaker 2:Courtney just wanted to talk about the Kennedys and Camelot, Like that's what was going on with her. We're like what the fuck? And then I just be peering around the corner with one eye staring at her Okay go on Continue.
Speaker 2:So I was like all right, man, what do you want me to do? And he's well, I have this thing and it's like the only way I can like truly get off. And I was like, oh, jesus Christ, here we go. I said I thought you said I didn't have to hear me out. He's like all I need you to do is tickle me. And I was like what in the fuck? And then I'm like, okay. So I agree, I look at the money, I look at the drugs that I can leave his place with. And I was like, okay, I can tickle you like whatever.
Speaker 2:And these are not normal situations and a normal person at this time I was what for it, 35, 36, a 35 year old growing up would be in. So I'm thinking it's just tickle him in his clothes and he goes all right, cool, I'll be right back. So then this motherfucker comes out of his bedroom and a goddamn diaper with just his old Mr Burns body and just send a fucking adult diaper, and then gets up on his kitchen table or just like a massive thing and lays there and he's okay, we can begin. And I was like, oh my God. And I was like, okay, because now I'm like at the point no return. So then I like was like hold on a second. So I was at that point in my high where I was like weirded out. So then I just had to rip a bunch of shots of his tequila. I don't even think I poured him into a glass, I think I just went straight from the bottle. I was like, all right, let's do this Kimberly.
Speaker 2:And I had to tickle this old ass man, mr Burns, in his diaper and tickle him as he was calling me, mommy, giggling, until he did his deed in his diaper and then he started sobbing and I didn't know where the fuck to look, y'all, and I left there a little shook because I was like holy fuck, I thought this man was like a civilized human being. I know he liked to party a little bit, but clearly he has a mother fetish. Something's going on and I am never in my life tickled a man till he came in his diaper until that day in Denver, colorado, and I went home and I didn't tell anybody that story. I told it, I think, to my sponsor, because it really it shook me, it was weird, it was fucking weird. And then I told Courtney the other day, and now I'm sharing with all of you.
Speaker 2:So the world, I mean and sorry if that's offensive to anyone, but I was offended but I took my money and drugs and went home and I don't think I spoke for two days and just weird situations from the streets. That addiction will get you in Grand. Thank God that wasn't a you know. I mean it could have been a harmful situation. I don't know.
Speaker 2:People start getting fucked up and get weird. Like he could have locked me in this house, like I've put myself in some pretty dangerous situations, but that one it wasn't dangerous, it was more like mind, like it fucked with my mind because it was weird. So, yes, I've tickled a man in a diaper for $3,000. And I think about it now and I like giggle, but it's just like that's not like real life. I don't know. But apparently he thought that I was just like okay enough to tell his deep, dark secret and he gave me some hush money and then I did it a few more times and then it was just like too much. I was like this is weird, I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 1:What was it? Three times, yeah, three, hey. So you made $9,000. It took off a lot of cocaine. I can't Okay. But now, looking back at this story because again my reaction it makes me giggle. However, doesn't it make you feel bad, though, for people like for that particular dude, where it's like what, what happens? And we don't feel bad for you because you were in addict mode of being like all right, cool, I'm going to get free drugs and $3,000.
Speaker 2:I don't feel bad for me. I put myself in the situation and fuck it two more times.
Speaker 1:No, I'm no, I don't feel bad for me, but do you, do you looking back and sharing the story now with the good people of the world? Do you feel bad for that man? That is how he was sexually aroused in that Dude. What happens in life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I something did because that's not normal. Like clearly I don't know, I'm not a doctor, so I can't be like is that a band-aid issue? Is that a mother will, or are you just a sick fuck? Those are, you know what I mean. Or then I like my head goes to oh my God, was I tickling a pedophile? And he couldn't straight. My mind went to a lot of places. What am I enabling here with this? Is what he really wants to do to? It's sick. You know what I mean? Sick people deal with sick people in addiction.
Speaker 2:So I stopped going down that rabbit hole and then, after Kimberly are you ready? I was like fuck, no, I'm done with your ass. Like I am done, I don't know. I kind of sick shit. You got going on up there, but I don't.
Speaker 2:This keeps getting weirder and weirder. So I'm good and thank God I had the, but if I wasn't working and I needed to, I would have kept doing it because it would have been feeding my addiction. You know what I'm saying. But for some reason I like snapped out of it, or maybe it was like a week I was trying to clean up or but I had told him no, and then he got offended and like never asked again, which then I was like why isn't he asking me again? But I was like I think I was maybe having a week of sobriety where I was like I need to clean my shit up, whatever. And then he just threw me out so bad. And I was like no, fuck, no, not dealing with you anymore. This is bizarre. So, yeah, do I feel bad? That's, you know, to me. I just saw a lonely old man with some weird fucking fetishes and some deep seated trauma with a shit ton of money with a shit ton of money and think of all the women who have probably tickled this guy.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sure there's been a lot. And then the one he didn't have to pay was clearly the one who, like, fucking scorned him because his mother, what is happening? And then he just was sobbing after a naked baby on his kitchen table and his diaper. I was like I'm fucking out of here. He asked me to change this diaper. That's it for me.
Speaker 1:Oh God, I don't know man, I just it's, it's weird, that's what I'm saying we you listening today. It's gonna be okay to take a few days to process the story from the streets of what my sister just explained, because I'm still processing it and it goes back to because people yes, I felt bad for him because one he's like older alone.
Speaker 2:But then I don't feel bad for him because he was a mover and a shaker, blew through tons of pussy, probably broke a lot of women's hearts, and is now alone with all of his money and has to pay the fucking bartender at the high end to kill bar downstairs to, who is clearly struggling with addiction, to come up to his fucking penthouse to tickle him with his fucking lonely ass because he's burned through people and nobody wants to fuck with them anymore.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know it's a devil's, it's a catch 22. Yes, my side, like I still think about him as like I mean I'm sure he's dead now, but because at 70 years old you just can't rip a line like that and not die of a heart attack. This shit was wild. When I was watching I was like, oh my God, does this guy have a death wish? And maybe so I felt bad for him in a sense. But I also knew too. It was kind of a prick in the way he treated people like people and day to day like business. It's all. There's a reason why you're alone, and this is where your addiction and your life and your legacy has taken you.
Speaker 1:Yep and we, and if you've worked with the gen pop you, you know that to be true. You just know the person's story, especially to if you waited on them in a bar situation bar setting like you, you get it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know you start being. I mean, I'm 25 years into this business and I can tell, you know, I can tell if someone's just grabbing a bite to eat by themselves because they need, they want to come eat or they're taking themselves on a little date. I can also tell a miserable son of a bitch or miserable twat like sitting down because nobody wants to share a meal with them. Yeah, because they've done so much destruction to people and they're just like you know, you can just tell I'm nice to all of them because that's my job.
Speaker 2:But you know, you just you read people and you understand the story and every once in a while some for me it's more often than not I mean people just will fucking trauma dump on me for out and out for no reason and I'm just like I just asked you if you want another cocktail, and then they start talking because I like to talk and then it starts getting. You know we're just talking about like regular bullshit and then they just start going in about like their life and like really start trauma dumping. I mean I'm working at this new place the second job that I picked up and the waiter he's who I work with my partner. He's like people really love to tell you like their shit, they really do and I was like trauma jump on me.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know, I was like it's happened my whole life, you know, and some days it's like I think people like really want to connect, but some days, like I'm not there to take it on. I just, can you please just tell me if you want fucking a limiter line with that? This is a bit much, you know. You know the business. It's weird. It's the best, but it's weird, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And some days you're about it and some days you are not, and that one day I was about taking that man for some money and then a few times later I was not. I had fucking had it with his ass.
Speaker 1:And that tales from the streets stories from the streets, stories from the streets. You know, when we got a setup. I have to set up something where, like you can call in and share your stories from the streets and maybe we could play it on here, all anonymous of course, but I would just love, because here's the thing and that's why I said to you the other day, with this one like the Fatima one was fun, you know, and we'll continue those stories. But stories like this of your sharing, I think that people hold in. I know that people hold in where their addiction took them to a fucking terrible place of tickling a man. You know it brought you to a place where you could hold that on to be like, oh my God, I cannot believe I fucking did it and it's yeah, I mean, I make joke of it.
Speaker 2:Sorry to cut you off. I make you know me, I'll tell my shit loud and proud. But I was like think, after that third time I like sobered up for the week. I was like ashamed, like Kimberly, is this really what you're fucking doing, going up with some weird old creepy man and then the next time there could be like four more creepy dudes who like to get. I'm going to put myself in like a dangerous situation.
Speaker 2:You know, and there is always like weirdos, like hanging out up there and it just wasn't safe. So it's just like places where you know the dark corners of the universe, where your addiction takes you, where it's just shadows lurking around in the night, where people you know, functioning people, healthy people, are going to bed and getting up and going on with their day and at night there's a whole nother fucking realm of bullshit that's going on out there. That I have seen firsthand and it's, you know, some of these places addiction takes you. It's not for the weak of heart and if you've managed to pull yourself out of it and want to get out of that situation, you know you got something. That means and if you have pulled yourself out of it and are in active recovery, like doing it, then like you're a fucking badass man, because not a lot of people make it out, you know at all, especially from what goes on in the nights.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what goes on and into and then the fallout of it, and that's why thank you for sharing your little tickle me, elmo story.
Speaker 1:I was tickle me burnsies, mr fucking burns, because I do hope it helps a listener today to release a little bit of shame by, by you know, laughing and being like, okay, you know, kimberly, that's where Kim's addiction took her to one point. This is where mine and just to work on a little bit of forgiveness, because that shame will fucking, that shame will eat you alive, man, if you don't start to release it in some type of way and being able even to just laugh at yourself, to be like you can compartmentalize, like at the core of that wasn't me doing that act, it was my fucking, it was I was in my addicted state and I think that's where people have to separate the two, because you tickle the man. That doesn't define you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, and that was like Mickey Mouse. You know, we got fucking tons of you know stories from the streets, but that was just one where I was like, wow, this is taking me down a bizarre road and you know, and then I could have gotten. I'm lucky that.
Speaker 1:I yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Are here today. I mean, then I like think, now it's like, oh, that could have gone where it's like his bizarro friends are like, oh shit, she's doing this for you. Well, if I offer this, her, this, maybe she'll do this for me. And then the next thing, I know, I'm fucking out here doing weird shit, selling my body for I mean for money. And then you get addicted to the money and then the next thing, you know, you're just like which it's a lot of women's stories. And then you end up in your, in something you can't get out of, right, you know so, I know I'm blessed in that sense. You know so it's, it's, but it definitely could have gone that way. For me, it definitely could have.
Speaker 2:And no shame, you know, if your addiction's ever taken you to have to sell yourself for to, you know, to feed your addiction, like it's okay, that's where it takes you. I mean, it's really trying to take you to the depths of hell. So those are just a couple of the stops along the way. So if you have gotten out of it or want to get out of it, you just really got to forgive yourself. And those acts do not define you. They do not at all.
Speaker 1:They sure don't. Well, thank you for that. Thank you for that. Stories from the street sister.
Speaker 2:No problem, I'm here, I'm an open book, I'm here to tell, and boy do we have some stories. So you know, man, it's a good. Courtney had a good laugh about that the other day. So, and she wasn't. Courtney is now at the place to where she's forgiven herself for a lot, because I think maybe I might have used to tell Courtney things and her judgments were a little harsh, but she wasn't a healed version of herself. So really she was just like mad at herself and like the way she would judge me and like she wasn't trying to make me feel bad, but like she would. I think maybe it was just she was more like judging herself because she hadn't forgiven herself for like some of that shame and it was like maybe a little bit of a projection. I see it now. Back in the day I used to take it on a little more harshly, but the way my sister and I deal with each other, it's like we're not projecting our own shit onto each other and we're just like you know, wow, she'll be healed versions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I have to say I mean those beginning years for me were difficult because you know, I mean with you and I he was still using right, and it's like I was going through my bullshit that nobody understood. So I probably did come out as a judgment and then you know I apologize for that, but that's also. Those first couple years are hard and that's why I that's why I will stand by and I set this in the book. Soberby is a guide to thriving within your first three months without alcohol, plug, plug. But I said this and I stand by it.
Speaker 1:That's why I think people should wait a couple years to be sober coaches, a couple years to to turn that because there's so much you have to work on in yourself to then being able to fucking sit there and help people from a judgment free slash, codependent, like non codependency, and where you do have to heal yourself, you do. Oh yeah, 1000%. Same thing for sponsors. I don't think people when they. I don't think after the first year then you be a sponsor because it's you don't know what the foot, nobody knows what the fuck they're doing.
Speaker 1:But like those first couple years, it's too early. It's too early just because you treat you quit drinking alcohol does not mean that you're going to fucking be healed within a year's time. Each year presents itself something different and you don't want to project your own bullshit on to other people who are coming up and coming up and new to the to giving up alcohol and I really think that takes a couple years, and for me it took a couple years, so I will. Those were projections and to a judgment because it's like well, why the fuck can't you be sober like I am? And it's not. That's not the case for people, so people have to go at their own pace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just well. And then where I was at to I was in I knew that you were getting sober and I was like fully supporting it. So it was probably the it's very hard relation. It was very hard time you and I were going through because then it was just because I couldn't put myself into your like I did, but I couldn't fully, you know what I mean, because I wasn't there fully for myself. So I wasn't probably the most supportive sister to what you needed at the time and I was probably very triggering person for you and for that I apologize, but you know we are. It caused a lot of conflict with Courtney and I and because she was seeing one thing her way, I was seeing it my way and we both just like we were missing what each other needed and just projecting both our shit onto each other. Now I see it and thank God, my sister and I's relationship is where it is, but that could have been very like detrimental and that's where, like family members just don't talk ever anymore again.
Speaker 2:And those were some tough years and what I understand I was fucking menace. That was probably hard to watch in your first years of recovery.
Speaker 1:Well, I hated our whole family my first couple years of recovery, because everyone was on their own bullshit. And it's very hard when you get, when you're the first member, to fucking cut, when you're the first member to stop continuing on the bullshit, and then you're like, stepping back and be like I'm not going to partake. And then when you're around, everybody who's partaking it's it's. You want to fucking put everybody in a headlock and give them a really hard nuggy and be like fuck you. So those first couple years were hard and it's just, you're just in a different game.
Speaker 1:So that's why I think it's best for people to create boundaries, especially if you come from a very big drinking family. You have to take a step back and just like kind of arms length and it will work itself out how it work it, how it will work itself out. But you got to put the boundaries up because you're drinking mother, father, sister, brother, auntie, uncle, who will never understand what it's like to quit drinking alcohol until they do it themselves. So so, yeah, so that's that. We hope you enjoy today's episode and great news, because I'm going to make this my mission. The next time my sister and I will be on these airwaves. We will be launching the merch collection.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, going down a little, living on the L edge a little living on the L edge, and we're launching it for Libra season because my sister and I are both Libras. October 5th is my birthday and October 15th is Sissy's birthday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, grandma's is a 16th. We love Libra season over here.
Speaker 1:We do we do. That's our faith. Last year, kim and I were roaming the streets on Main Street and the Magic Kingdom for my 40th Great trip.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah. We took part of Disney World for 40th and she was like literally happier than a pig and shit. We brought up this trip a couple of times. That was a great trip. We had a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good times, good times. All right, if you need any help on your sober journey today, I have free resources. In the show notes below. I also have sober coaching. You can apply to work for me. You can, if you, loving Kimberly and her stories from the streets, reach out to her on Instagram. And if you have not already, please rate, review and subscribe to the show, because those help us out as well. Make sure to check out the sponsors for September. Sister, great talk today. Love you as always. Love you too. All right, everyone, keep on trucking and stay healthy out there. Bye.