Episode 154:Counting Days or Not Counting Days in Sobriety
In episode 154 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen chats about counting days or not counting days in sobriety. A question that an Instagram follower asked, Courtney felt called to do a podcast episode on it. It's a great question! Taking a fresh approach, challenging the one-size-fits-all path to sobriety. Courtney argues for an individually tailored approach to sobriety, one that values learning from slips rather than condemning them.
What you will learn in this episode:
Counting Days
Counting Days after a slip
Tailored approach to your sobriety
New Program- Next Level Sober Support Self-Guided coaching program: When you enroll, you gain free access to the 3-day course about family-triggering relationships.
Music, music. Hey, welcome to the Silver Vibes podcast. I am your host and Silver Coach, Courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 154. It is November 2nd. I can't believe November's here. This year has gone by pretty quick, but very exciting. I hope everyone had a wonderful October season, because October is the best. Today I want to talk with you in which this is a solo episode. It will be me giving you a little bit of coaching. I got this question. If you don't follow me on Instagram, follow me on Instagram at Silver Vibes.
Speaker 1:
Every Monday I do a Q&A. Ask me anything. Monday there are always some amazing questions that come through. This person asked me this question and I was like you know what? I'm just going to do a podcast on this answer, because this is not an answer I want to just write out because I don't want a bunch of DMs telling me that that's wrong. I'm going to answer this question and make it a podcast episode because I think it's really good. I don't believe that I have just dedicated a whole episode to this.
Speaker 1:
Her question was do I need to count days, or do I need to count days or do I need to count the days over if I've had a slip? Now there's two answers to this question. I really don't think there's a right or wrong, but I just know with some people it's one way or the highway, and I just don't flow like that. This is my response no, you don't have to count days. No, I don't believe that you have to start the clock over. I just don't believe that you have to start the clock over Because for so many of us, our brains, everybody's brain thinks differently for the most part, but, like for me, I have been a day counter because I am just like that with numbers. But I know people who don't count days because once they start counting days it overwhelms them and it's too much and I totally respect that. It's like right, I can see how that could be too much.
Speaker 1:
And for people who relapse or have a bump in the road and slip, that, starting back at day one I'm doing air quotes, if you're new here. Sometimes I do air quotes when I talk to myself that starting back at day one it's fucking defeating. It's defeating to a person, right? And especially, too, it's like fuck if you have three years and then you go out like do you really need to be like? This is like back at day one, right, and it all depends on what program you follow, because, again, you know some programs. It is like you have to start at day one if that's the program you're following. But I just don't think that's the case. Even if you are following a program like I do believe that there's room for take what you want and leave the rest, and if that's one of those situations where it's like I like the community, but I like if I have a relapse after a couple of months, like do I need to start from day one? Like you need to acknowledge the relapse or the bump in the road, whatever you want to call it, and learn from it and be like okay, so what can I do next time to do this a little bit differently.
Speaker 1:
And that's why my book Wink Wink, sober Vibes a guide to thriving in your first three months without alcohol and if you have not grabbed that yet, please do. The link is in the show notes below. Or just go to Amazon and Bards or Noble and order it online. Also, too, if you've read the book, please leave a review wherever you bought it from. But going back to that, the reason why I wrote my book the way that I did, it's because it needs to be tailored to you.
Speaker 1:
And that's where I think that this gets really fucked up with people, because they do what you know their uncle Bob told them to do and it just does not work for them and that's really why you have to tailor your sobriety. You know, and for anybody I have said this to it's like and I've said it on the podcast, I've said it on this podcast many times and I've said it on other people's podcasts many times because you cannot forget about the time before the relapse. You were sober, you did it. Is that discredit everything that you did for a couple months, a day or two or three days like, or a couple years? No, not at all. You were sober and you're a human being and slips happen. It is very easy to go on autopilot in life and just pull into a liquor store after a really bad day and be like fuck it. It is really easy if you've had something very terrible and traumatic happen to you today or yesterday and be like fuck it. You know there is some pain that people just want to numb out and I wouldn't sit there and fucking bypass somebody's you know trauma or them just going on autopilot because we're human and be like you got to start at day one again. I just don't believe it. I really do, truly believe that you have to do what's best for you, right? So if you are in the middle of a slip up, it's November 2nd. You never hear me on this podcast.
Speaker 1:
I did an episode a couple years back why I don't do the sober October. I do not promote sober October. I don't promote dry July. I do not do dry January. I don't do those marketing gimmicks because that is what that has become. And I do not do those because the percentage rate of people getting through a whole dry July or January is extremely low. And then a person gets very frustrated and I have talked to many who then it's like I couldn't even get through sober October. It's like the goals got to be more and your why's got to be more of let me just see if I can do these 30 days. Let me just see if I can do these 30 days. And you know, maybe I can keep telling myself that there's not a big of a problem as there is, and congratulations for anybody who did get sober during those months and that's what led them on their sober journey. But that's rare and that is just statistics. Same thing statistics for going to programs. It's low. Sober coach therapy I mean it's low. Alcohol addiction is hard. It's very hard and I just share this with the reality. The emotional dependence and how acceptable it is in our world is very strong. I want to share with you today about a new product that I love.
Speaker 1:
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Speaker 1:
Today is a new day, but that's where you need to refocus and realign with why exactly do I want to live a life without alcohol? What is it? Because it's got to be deeper than a holiday like the sober October and dry January. It's just like you have to. Any day is a good day to stop drinking alcohol and if you're frustrated with yourself, that is okay. But take that frustration and be like I'm going to fucking switch this around and I'm going to kick this in the nuts and go forward and start today with not drinking alcohol and just honestly take it day by day. Sometimes with the month by month it can get very overwhelming because your brain is like oh my God, 90 days is a lot. 90 days is a lot. That's why one day at a time is the perfect, perfect model that you have to start putting into place and just getting through today and making the decision not to drink alcohol, and if that even means by putting your ass to bed at 7.30, put your goddamn ass to bed at 7.30. Go to sleep and you're going to wake up and be like I am so thankful I went to bed when the sun was going down.
Speaker 1:
So, to answer this person's question who asked it on my Instagram page, it really is up to you if you want to count days or not. If you even do, I've worked with a lot of people where they're not day counters and it's like oh, okay, yeah, it was like around labor day, that was my last drink and now it's been like three, four months. People usually have a whereabouts of when they give up alcohol, so it's just like stop focusing on the day counting and just be present of living in that day without alcohol. And when you reframe it like that, that usually is more helpful For me. Why I counted on days?
Speaker 1:
Like I said, it was just something with my brain of like, where I just kept looking. Even at that time there was no, there was no apps or anything like that. So I honestly just kept it where it was like I counted, I counted, I think I left like in a little journal by my on my bed like I think I did like slashes, oh man, and counted like that. But for me that was helpful. And then when I, when the apps started coming around and there was and counters, then I would look at my app and be like, oh, amazing, amazing, let me look at my app. I don't really look at my app that much anymore. A few and far between now that I would I go on there and actually look at it. But I mean it's still cool when I do go on there to be like, oh, wow, like I really I have not had a drink in 4,092 days. That's a lot of goddamn days, right. So I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you if I can go 4,092 days without alcohol, I truly do believe you can do. I truly do believe it. I hope this episode helped you today. Remember to rate, review and subscribe to the show. All of my free resources are in the show notes below. Come join the fix community. If you're looking for one-on-one coaching support, you can apply in the link in the show notes below as well, or you can do my self-guided coaching program and that is good for anyone up until their first six months of sobriety.
Speaker 1:
Okay, my next, because I don't want to leave you hanging here, and I'm going to do this. I'm going to do a workshop about self-sabotage Friday, november 24th. Yes, the weekend of Thanksgiving, but I think that's going to be the perfect time to do a workshop. So if you have not registered for my free live workshops that I started doing back in September, please do so. The link is in the show notes below as well. Tons of resources for you that that workshop will be via Zoom and it will be live, and I will be there this time. Hopefully there'll be no group like there was last time with my little dictator. All right, and again, if you have not gotten it already, check out my book, check out our sponsor this month. I hope you are ready to kick ass and take names in November. I know I am All right. Thank you for listening. Keep on trucking and stay healthy out there.