Celebrating Every Small Victory in Your Journey to Sobriety

Episode 157:Celebrating Every Small Victory in Your Journey to Sobriety

In episode 157 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen discusses celebrating every small victory in your sobriety journey. Celebrate it all, even making it through Thanksgiving or a regular Tuesday sober. It's a hard journey and one that is worth celebrating along the way.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Celebrating Victories 
• Embracing the win in sober days
• Understanding it's ok to celebrate yourself

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Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:01

["Music Begins to Play"]. Hey, welcome to the Sober Vives podcast. I am your host and sober coach, courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 157. And today we are going to be talking about celebrating milestones. But first, if you have not already and you're listening to this in real time, make sure, as in real time, as in Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving gobble gobble. I hope that you enjoy your holiday, enjoy the holiday weekend and the fun sober festivities. And if you're not feeling it, no problem. I don't like Thanksgiving myself, but I enjoy the holiday weekend. So I hope this helps you today if you needed to listen to the podcast for a little inspo. But if you are listening to this in real time and you haven't yet signed up for my free workshop, that is happening tomorrow and it is on overcoming self-sabotage, so it's a good one and I purposely inserted this workshop in case you needed extra support during the holiday weekend. You can also join my Fix Community. There is a meeting this Sunday with my sister, with Sissy, with Kimmy, so welcome, welcome, welcome.

Courtney Andersen: 1:52

We are going to talk about celebrating milestones. I don't think I have specifically done a solo episode about this yet and if you're new here, please go back and listen to the 156, 156 episodes that is in the Sober Vibes Library, this one specifically about milestones. Okay, and I know it's really easy to think about milestones of like 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, 120 days, fucking 1,000 days, 100 days, all of it right, where you look at these days. A couple weeks ago, I did a solo episode about counting days. You know, is it good to count days? Do you have to start counting days over all of that? Go back and listen to that. Okay, because this one is about celebrating milestones and if you are not a day counter, I want you just to celebrate the milestone of like, holy fuck, this was my first Thanksgiving that I have not drank alcohol since I was like 21. Think of it like this I really think any day of not drinking alcohol is a day really to celebrate and it is a milestone and you should give yourself a pat on the back. I know it's hard for a lot of people to actually like celebrate themselves. I get it because you feel like, and I felt like this in the very in the beginning, and I even did a podcast on somebody else's podcast last summer, this past summer, when I was on my podcast tour, when I was horror myself out on these podcasts. You know, for the book promotion. If you haven't already, let me just slide that one in too, if you haven't already.

Courtney Andersen: 3:36

Get Sober Vives a guide to thriving in your first three months without alcohol. This is my first published book and it really helps guide you through those first three months from a sober, from a sober coach's perspective, anyways. And so him and I were talking on this episode and on their podcast and he was saying to me he was like, because I said congratulations. When he said I'm three years, I said, well, congratulations. And he was like, yeah, I don't really do that, in which I respect.

Courtney Andersen: 4:08

And I said I used to feel the same way that you don't really feel like you should celebrate it. Or if somebody says congratulations to you that you don't really feel like you should celebrate it, or some people get to a point where, like after 10 years, they're like it's not a bigger deal to me anymore, into each their own. But I want to tell you that I want you to keep celebrating this stuff and you don't have to live an alcohol-free life. That's right, I fucking said it. You don't have to live an alcohol-free life. A lot of people don't have to, but you're choosing to and you're deciding to give up alcohol because it no longer served you. Whether you fucking have had three do-you-yes or you woke up every morning just with like crippling anxiety, whatever it was, you were actually choosing to step outside of the alcohol cycle and choosing to step outside and go against the norm. Okay, and better yourself, and in that you should celebrate it, big or small. Celebrate it and give yourself a pat on that, because for a lot of us, the celebration is hard for us because maybe we weren't allowed to celebrate things, maybe things in our childhood really wasn't made a big deal. Okay, now, when the dictator does something it's so interesting to see like now having a child, having a two-year-old he celebrates himself Like he'll do something and then he'll go, yay, and then starts clapping. And then I get excited for him and starts clapping. And then Matthew and my husband starts clapping Like he celebrates stuff that he's done right. And then life happens to people and you get older, you get older and you stop celebrating that shit and I say bullshit to it, like I will always celebrate stuff when it's been hard.

Courtney Andersen: 6:22

Okay, because drinking and quitting drinking alcohol is not easy. It's not easy to go over to your aunt Suzanne's house on Thanksgiving when your whole family is getting fucked up and you're the only one sitting there, sober, being like, oh my God, get me out of here. It's not easy. And then you go home and you hadn't drank that day and you went against your family, fucking culture, and went against it and made it out of there without disrespecting yourself and drinking. That's what I mean.

Courtney Andersen: 6:58

So it's like you should be celebrating milestones just in. Like, I had a really hard day fuck 30, 60, 90 days. I had a really hard day and I chose to go to bed early with a glass of hot water with lemon. You guys know how I love me spot water. But I went to bed and I just found the comfort in my hot tea, or I found some comfort in some ice cream, or I just found comfort in reading a book where I didn't turn to alcohol to find comfort. In that. That is a celebration. That is a celebration, you know. Obviously, if you do have a big milestone, like you made a thousand days, or you made 90 days, like, go buy yourself something nice, go on a trip, take yourself a trip it starts saving money of the money that you would have spent towards booze on a weekly basis and start putting that in a bank account or a shoebox. But I suggest we open up a high yield savings account and let your money grow some money, start saving and take yourself on a trip or buy yourself that purse you've always wanted. Celebrate that stuff, even if it's uncomfortable. Now it might not be uncomfortable down the road.

Courtney Andersen: 8:27

I have a feeling the good people of the world are very similar to myself and my sister where it was, and you, listening to this, are a good people of the world. You weren't celebrated as a child or dismissed and you weren't seen. So it's uncomfortable until it's not. It's like same thing for compliments Like if you told somebody you're sober and they're like congratulations, good job, say thank you for acknowledging that. And that was more of what I was saying to that guy when he was saying, like I'm three years elder and I was like, well, congratulations. Like that's an acknowledgement of like bitch. I see you and I know that that was probably not an easy thing to do, but you did it. Or you again making it through one Christmas without drinking. It is not an easy thing to do, but I see you and I want you to celebrate that.

Courtney Andersen: 9:27

I have a close friend who just hit 90 days sober yesterday, okay, and she texts me very excited. She sent me messages I only do Marco Polo with select few people and so she was marcoing me and she was getting very emotional on this and she was like I didn't think that I would get this emotional and she was like you know it's, and she was talking to her. She's like it's not like I had this big problem with alcohol. Okay, she said this, but then she fucking followed it up like this and I'm like God damn, it gave me chills. She said but alcohol in itself is a problem. Let me repeat this I hope you got a lady boner over what I just said, Like I got one when she was explaining this. I did not really have a problem with alcohol, but alcohol in itself is a problem.

Courtney Andersen: 10:22

And then she listed off that other thing. Right, because we're so very used to being like it's got to be so extreme, but it doesn't have to be extreme all the time. But when you step outside, like she did, to be like oh, but alcohol causes this, and then it's like a compound effect of what it then turns into my life where it's like I have myself confidence back. I actually realized that I don't need alcohol to have fun. I actually get to be myself. I don't have to hide behind the substance, like I've been taking care of myself in the past 90 days. It's different for everybody, but I was just so very proud of her and even she got emotional with me on these Marcos and it's like but, as she should, because she should be very proud of herself for the 90 days that she made a decision of wanting to live a life without alcohol.

Courtney Andersen: 11:18

And she's like I don't know where to go from here. And I said I want to challenge you to go through the holidays. I said you got 90 days so far. Keep going through the holiday season and tell me how you feel at January 2nd. She's like okay, I'm gonna do it. It's like right, keep going. If you feel good in your count and you're looking at all of what has just happened to you in 90 days, you know six months, wherever the fuck you're at, but you're, you know you're like do I enter this back into my life? I'm always going to tell you no, because you feel so good right now. That's the place I come from.

Courtney Andersen: 11:57

But keep challenging yourself, even if it's just another day. Go another day and see how you feel, because you cannot, you cannot put a price tag on that of being like. My confidence is back. I've been taking care of myself. I've been actually showing up for myself and saying I'm going to do something and then do it right, like that's fucking solid gold that people get from not drinking alcohol and stepping outside of the cycle of it. And I told her to. I said congratulations. You have done something that a lot of generations and people cannot do, because that is the fact of it and not a lot of people, too, want to go life without alcohol and that's fine, that's their decision.

Courtney Andersen: 12:53

So I'm very proud of her. I'm proud of anybody who makes it another day sober, and that's why I just wanted to share this episode about really celebrating milestones and you looking at, instead of looking at like like with these milestones are only like days consistently sober. No, look at making it through your first holiday without booze. It's incredible, it's a little scary. I'm not gonna lie, because I remember I was. For me, holidays were extremely triggering. Okay, and I understand that.

Courtney Andersen: 13:25

My next solo episode I will do one about the holiday season and like the triggers and I'll get down into into a little bit more, but it's just, you have really have to look at it. It's like no, tomorrow I'm going to wake up. I'm not going to feel like a bag of dicks where I'm dry, heaving out myself or have crippling anxiety and like my kid wants to sit there and do festive stuff, or I'm not short tempered with people. You know where. It's just like you just don't feel like a bag of dicks bottom line and you're fucking getting out there and living life and functioning in you know, some normal society of what you, what your normal is. Functioning without alcohol is the best, it's the best and to the level of gratitude you have to be present after this, after you know coming out addictions or coming out of an emotional dependency on, on booze, and if you were coming out of like crippling anxiety, all of that, like you have such a greater appreciation of life in of these special times that is the festive season right, more than you're going to remember this and that's why I challenged my friends. I said just make it through the holidays and see what happens. I was like and just tell me what, how this this holiday season was different from the rest. Because it's going to be different from the rest because you are not drinking alcohol and you're going to be sitting there. You're going to be fully fucking present with your children. Thank you, true story. I promise you that. Celebrate the milestones. Buy yourself maybe a Chanel purse, if that's your thing. Take yourself on a vacation for these bigger milestones. Do what you want, but remember to stay alcohol-free another day.

Courtney Andersen: 15:26

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Courtney Andersen: 16:20

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Courtney Andersen: 17:04

All right, I also have another exciting announcement. I decided to, and it's available now only on Amazon. This is only available on Amazon. I've been wanting to do this for a while and I had to make sure that it was fine with my publishing company, because y'all, I don't want to catch a case. I do not want to be sued. We're all good, it's all out into the world now, but I published a journal, self-published, a journal on Amazon.

Courtney Andersen: 17:37

It's a 90-day journal. Let me explain this. You do not have to be like the greatest thing about this is there is no day one. Okay, you can use this at any time of your sobriety, especially to if you are in a little bit of a funk. This happens, this happens. That's why you have to continuously like it's a continuous work in progress. It's no like I have arrived. You might arrive at year one and be like, okay, cool, but then there's also other work to do. But y'all know me, I'm really big into the mindset. Okay, so in this 90-day journal there's 90 pages technically 93, but each day it's the same thing, so it's just the date.

Courtney Andersen: 18:28

I'm gonna ask you today's affirmation, today's mood Today I'm grateful for, and why I choose not to drink alcohol. Today. Each page is like that and of course, it's got the Soberfives color. You cannot see it, but the cover is white with the Soberfives new logo and then, of course too, it has like the orange in there. It's big too. It's not like one of these small little ones I made that, it was big. So this is out on Amazon. And why the questions are consistent, or why the questions are the same Consistency, consistency, consistency.

Courtney Andersen: 19:05

And when you practice something daily, you will see shifts, right, because this might be even too like if you just wake up in a bad mood, it's okay to say today's mood I feel like a bag of dicks. Say that in there, because also, too, you can kind of start getting familiar of more of who you are and to. If there is a relapse in this 90 days of doing that, you could look back at yesterday and be like, oh, I wasn't feeling good yesterday, or I started my period yesterday or I'm in menopause, whatever the case may be I'm specifically talking to women because I see you and it really does then you can kind of build more of a relapse prevention plan out of this, I have to say, of knowing yourself and knowing what's gonna happen, or knowing yourself. In those moments it's like okay, going forward next month, how do I build upon if I get my period, like how am I not gonna go down a rabbit hole and just say fuck it and start drinking right, like because this is what happened? So again, there's no pressure to put day one, day two, it's just the date. I just challenge you to do 90 days of consistent work like this. And really too, if it's the same affirmation that you use for a couple of days, go with that, use it for the same week, you know. And then, of course, the wiring of the brain is the last question of why I choose not to drink alcohol today. It will help consistency and mindset. It's going to shift Right. And especially why I said this to you about being on a funk, because this type of mindset work will help you get out of the funk. Sometimes you need to get out of your goddamn brain and put it on paper and see it right and just build yourself up with the mindset. Work.

Courtney Andersen: 21:10

Okay, get the journal. It is out on Amazon now and it's only on Amazon. It is only on Amazon, yes, and I do believe to that other countries can get it, I'm pretty sure. Yes, absolutely. So, check Amazon. Just sober vibes 90 day journal. That's all you need to type in.

Courtney Andersen: 21:28

I will put the links down in the show notes below. I will put the links down there to the journal, to the workshop, to the fixed community, all of that. I will have to say too that, going forward, if you are interested in one-on-one coaching, I'm only taking on a few more clients till the end of the year and then I'm not in the beginning of 2024, I'm not gonna be taking on one-on-one clients because my priority is going to be more in the fixed community and with building more digital courses and building sober vibes into your one-stop shop of sobriety, empowerment and helping you in your sober journey and helping you get sober. So I am switching things up going forward in 2024. Like I said, I don't know when I will definitely the first part of 2024, I will not be taking on one-on-one clients. So if this is something that you're interested in, I should say take on any new ones. This is something you're interested in. Fill out the application below as well. I hope this episode helped you.

Courtney Andersen: 22:40

Today, again, celebrate the milestones. Celebrate not drinking today. Celebrate if you haven't drank in an hour. Celebrate that shit. It doesn't have to be these big, big days. Gobble gobble. Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your day and enjoy the holiday weekend. Make sure. If you haven't yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the show. Those ratings help and keep kicking ass, keep on truckin' and stay healthy out there. Music.