LOTE: Reflecting on a Year of Growth: Embracing Sobriety and Relationship Insights

Episode 161: LOTE: Reflecting on a Year of Growth: Embracing Sobriety and Relationship Insights

In episode 161 of the Sober Vibes podcast, it's LOTE week, which means the Elledge sisters, Courtney and Kimberly, are here discussing this last year and the growth and lessons they have learned. 

As the sisters wave goodbye to another year filled with growth and reflection, they can't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Overcoming addiction and embracing sobriety is no small feat, and with each challenge surmounted, our gratitude and understanding of personal growth have only deepened. Pull up a chair and join us for our end-of-year heart-to-heart, where they unpack the lessons learned, the laughter shared, and the tears shed.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Lessons Learned of 2023
• Embracing emotional sobriety 
• Embracing Change 
• Embracing Emotional Rock Bottoms

Thank you for listening, and we hope this episode helps.

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Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:02

This is Courtney. This is Kimberly. You are listening to the show within the show Living on the LEdge.

Kim Elledge: 0:09

Come live with us. We're talking about the road to recovery and sobriety and how to vibe and maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle.

Courtney Andersen: 0:22

Hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. It is Living on the LEdge Week. That means it's a show within a show, if you are new here today, and this is episode 161.

Kim Elledge: 0:34

Sister what up though?

Courtney Andersen: 0:37

What's going on?

Kim Elledge: 0:39

Well, not a lot today. Nothing much, nothing exciting, nothing much for me. You got a lot going on over there because I woke up this morning at 9 am and watched a little dictator take a whole roll of paper towel in your kitchen and spring it all over the place.

Courtney Andersen: 0:59

Yeah, he did, he did have it a ball. Yeah, I mean, it really is, sometimes by 9. Am I'm so tired?

Kim Elledge: 1:10

I just like that you were letting him do it.

Courtney Andersen: 1:12

Yeah, I mean that's just play right. I don't want to be uptight about that shit, and I really have not been uptight about stuff with him. The only thing I get pissed off about is the hitting. That's it, yeah.

Courtney Andersen: 1:31

And it's not even pissed off yeah it's just paper towel, it's not even pissed off, it's just like dude, I don't want to be hit for the fifth time today. Hey, I bet Same Well. Plus, too, your natural reaction what I've talked to you about this before especially when they catch you off guard, it's like your natural instinct is to come at you and protect yourself, but also like peacock up right, yeah, dukes up my mitts Right. And then you realize that a two-year-old is doing this to you and you're like, oh my god.

Kim Elledge: 2:06

You just got to breathe.

Courtney Andersen: 2:08

Yeah, so it's just one of those things. So yeah, play with paper towel, you're not hurting anybody. You saw it. We put the paper towel on the couch and then he was laying on it like a little bit, like it was his futon. Oh yeah, that was the dictator. Today, every day is a new day with him, every day is an adventure. It really is an adventure. So this is our last episode for the year 2023 for the LOTE 2023.

Kim Elledge: 2:41

That escalated quickly.

Courtney Andersen: 2:43

It escalated quickly and it's so funny because we were talking in our pre-show of I mean, we've been talking for a solid year.

Kim Elledge: 2:53

For season four. Yeah yeah, it goes by quickly Like time is like a blur. It is weird, it's bizarro.

Courtney Andersen: 3:03

It's bizarro. So sister and I are going to do a little recap for the year 2023. Just ask each other some random questions. Tie it in together. So, sister, for 2023, what was your biggest lesson learned? Dun, dun, dun.

Kim Elledge: 3:31

Ah shit, Okay, my biggest lesson learned I think my biggest lesson learned was gratitude. I fully believe that. To be grateful for what you have, for grateful. I was very grateful for what I have and I realized that I can really do anything that I put my mind to. I set out on a little bit of a healing journey. I wanted to get off of a roller coaster ride of a relationship and I have finally competed that. I have finally conquered that and have healed and watch out out there fellas, because I think I'm going to be ready to start dating here again soon.

Courtney Andersen: 4:17

Kim's coming at you. Kim's coming at you, ready to slay, slay yeah.

Kim Elledge: 4:27

And I just my greatest lesson. I'm just like really grateful for the relationships that I have in my life with my friendships and my family and people who have stuck by me over the years. So I think that was. I don't know if that's a lesson. I think I just coming out of this year and going into the new year with a lot of gratitude and I've learned a little bit of patience in my career in the service industry and I'm lucky to have the talent behind me that I do to make the money that I make and manage my expectations a little bit better out of people. I think did that answer the question? Well, yeah, there's no right or wrong answer.

Courtney Andersen: 5:12

This is how you like your biggest learning lesson this year. I think that it's good to reflect back just to see like, okay, and this is where this is pivoting me too, and if it's that you needed to dive deeper into some goddamn gratitude, there you go.

Kim Elledge: 5:29

I did and I really dug deep too into why I was attracting the relationships, and I mean not just like romantic, the one that I got out of, but like relationships of like people who I had around me, and I really did a lot of Okay.

Courtney Andersen: 5:46

This is interesting because you and I have talked briefly about this. What year are you in, what year are you in, of your recovery? Seven, six, okay, six, okay. Very interesting Continue.

Kim Elledge: 6:01

Oh yeah, trying to like figure out why I attract, why I was attracting and had like the friendships that I had in my life or the last relationship that I subscribed to for five years, why I stayed on that roller coaster ride of a hellish nightmare and Really was like to have to take some accountability and figure it out and take it all the way back to the beginning like of my life and really break down the dichotomy of like family and parental relationships and just kind of dissected and and understand and also manage the relationship that I have with with my parents and meet them where they're at and Understand that I've evolved past them and Kind of like a little bit of forgiveness for them because at the end of the day, it's like you could talk about I could talk about my parents for hours, but it's just like more, like forgiveness and they did the best that they could and and it's really our job to do better, because we're giving more tools and more information and Just about breaking that generational trauma and I know we've talked about this and it might sound like a little repetitive, but I really had to to dig a little bit deeper and dig deep into kind of some codependency and Get off of that, get off of that ride and figure out like boundaries for myself, because now I'm not fucking around.

Kim Elledge: 7:39

You know it's.

Courtney Andersen: 7:41

Uh, it's a wrap on all that, yeah, you have grown in that way and I just was going back to the year, because it always this kind of stuff you're not gonna figure out once you quit drinking Alcohol and using drugs.

Courtney Andersen: 7:56

You're not gonna figure this out on day 30. This type of stuff comes with time and then when you because it takes a while to get out of that haze and Then figuring it out so when you've been burned a few times and you realize that you keep attracting also to this, like with people in your life, in Situations, and you keep attracting the same old, same old, you're like, well, what the fuck it's because also to, you're still living in an energetic space. I'm gonna get woo-woo here. You're still living in an energetic space that you were once living in. You were living in that space in your active addiction, right? So you're still living in it, living in it, living in it, and with time and healing and the process of recovery comes and you start getting yourself confidence back and whatnot, and you're like, wait a second, this type of relationship, whether it's friends or romantic, isn't Lining up with the person I am now and why did I keep subscribing to this this whole time? Mm-hmm. So it takes a minute.

Kim Elledge: 9:05

Yeah, I took a minute for it to click with me and to like heal and move on and realize, like with friendships and takers and people like I, just it's not something that I want around me and I just want people who enjoy my company and Enjoy my friendship and what level of loyalty I Give and I try to. I think that I'm a good friend, I would do anything for anybody and I just I appreciate true friendship and I'm a big loyalty person like I stand on loyalty like so that is now something that I just it's a non-negotiable anymore. Like you, I really like sit back and I'm a little quieter when I I don't just react like off the rip. I'm not like fucking some like wild animal anymore with my voice and my words, because I'm usually in the past I've popped off pretty quickly but Like, if you're gonna get motherfucked by me these days it's gonna take a lot, but cuz it's like for what, what does that do? And it usually does. It ends up making me look like a crazy asshole.

Kim Elledge: 10:26

Truly so I just like sit back and kind of watch and Let people because if you just shut the fuck up and sit back, people always show their ass you know, oh my god, always.

Courtney Andersen: 10:38

Well, that's the whole thing of not having, because you have grown and in six years, with time and healing and whatnot, you become to not so reactive.

Kim Elledge: 10:50

And it is, yeah, people, because I was a reactive bitch I really was I would react and it's like right off, instead of like using like logic and like figure one, just like Explaining, trying to like explain to people and fight for it, like the difference between right and wrong and like I don't know what I was fighting for. But it's like if people don't know, then like that's their own shit, they need to figure it out and it's not my job to fucking have to explain to somebody what time it is. It's just exhausting.

Courtney Andersen: 11:21

Yeah, you, yeah. To hold up a mirror to somebody, it's just, it's. They have to figure that out in time. You can't keep doing that.

Kim Elledge: 11:28

Yeah, it's exhausting, and then it's like what am? What am I really doing? What is it about me that feels like I just need to look at myself and Make myself better? I'm sure, for in some situations it was a lot of projection and, yeah, I'm trying to like be a civilized human being these days and not such a fucking rowdy animal. But I still can be. Don't test me. Yeah, but it would take a whole lot for me to get there.

Courtney Andersen: 11:57

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I like it. I mean you've, you've done, looking past the growth in your year. You've, you have done very well sister.

Kim Elledge: 12:07

Thank you, thank you, how about for you?

Courtney Andersen: 12:11

And I think too. I think you have finally stopped chasing the chaos, yeah.

Kim Elledge: 12:15

I mean I get a little bit of a that, like dopamine hit chaos in the industry I work in, but like that's enough for me, that's good.

Courtney Andersen: 12:23

Yeah, but I mean that's just like second nature, but I'm not. But like that's okay, but not chasing the chaos that's gonna make you sick and fucking bring you down and turn you into a fucking shell of a human being.

Kim Elledge: 12:37

Correct, like those days are over, because I don't want to be a shell of a human being, man, like what a disaster, what a waste of life. And like there's a few situations that I've been in where, like I'm not even supposed to be alive. I swear to God I've given the chance of like nine lives like a fucking kitty cat. So I don't want to waste it. It's it's time is all. Nothing's guaranteed. So I just don't, I just don't want to be that way anymore, because it's just such a waste of time and energy and I don't know.

Kim Elledge: 13:11

Something's like shifted in me in the past. Like we vote, we were raised like pretty spiritual, like I believe, obviously that there's something greater than Myself and I believe in energy and what you put out. And I'm all about like if you're doing something negative or You're blocking your blessings, and so I'm just really trying to like strip down. So it's like Learning these lessons. So the universe sends me the next one and I'm trying to level it. Fuck up, I Will let the fuck up.

Kim Elledge: 13:41

People. You heard it here first. I Am. I told you I'm trying to learn. I told my sister one day I was like listen, I'm trying to learn all these fucking lessons and because I don't want to come back here to this planet. I want to be out there gliding the cosmos with my fucking people. So I'm really, really trying my hardest to like learn and I think it's all about self-love and worth and love for the planet and people and just like Not being a toxic animal. So I'm really trying my best out here these. It's Stone cold out here in these streets, so Every once in a while the universe will send something where it's like let's see if this dumb bitch is still a fucking animal and I recognize it now. So I'm just out here trying my best and that's all you can do.

Courtney Andersen: 14:32

Yeah, what you are doing.

Kim Elledge: 14:35

That's all you can do. What about you? What you got going as a recap for 2023?

Courtney Andersen: 14:39

I have to say that I think my biggest lesson this year and I know it's going to sound so ridiculous, but it's that I'm a mom first. I'm a mom first.

Kim Elledge: 14:50

That doesn't sound ridiculous.

Courtney Andersen: 14:52

Well, I mean, but for some, like you, could be like, well, yeah, you've been a mom for fucking two years I mean three years when he was, when I was pregnant with him but it's just something this last year that I have shifted, of really being like, okay, what's really important and this is a lot after two you, I mean, I've had, I've had a credible year of lifelong achievement of being a published author. But I have to also recognize that just because you get these achievements, it doesn't guarantee you happiness. This is kind of all over the place. So I've had a very high high and very low lows with my back issues this year that have got me into states of being bedbound because the pain hurts so bad, and talking to me when I've been a maniac a few times. And but what for me is my greatest lesson is that little baby boy, that little dictator. And just every day I had to stop fighting the resistance of being a quote, stay at home, working mom and embracing it more and realizing how very lucky I am that I get to be at home with him, even though some days are extremely hard. But that's the fact that I am his mother first and and I really think that that finally hit.

Courtney Andersen: 16:24

Yeah, you okay. Yeah, no, I was laughing, I wasn't bawling. Oh, I had a look. Yeah, no, I'm good, I mean it's just. It's just one of those things in that there's just I'm fortunate enough to have birthed that little guy and so then, with that perspective, it has shifted a lot in me. But I have to say, like right now, in the last couple of weeks, I have been at a emotional rock bottom, in a good way, and going back to, yes, my sister and I are these people Mercury in retrograde? Like there's just such an inner shift in me of what I need to do to be my best self, moving forward, mm, hmm, and goddamn, I have to say, I mean being a pain, and I don't even know if we've touched on this, but like in this, like now going back and looking back after having this back pain, I have such empathy and sympathy for people who have had chronic pain issues and like I'm even going back to when I worked in that pain clinic, like I've now feel very bad for some of those people.

Kim Elledge: 17:41

Yeah, that would be the worst. Like I can't. I couldn't even imagine, like two weeks ago, when my shoulder was all fucked. I don't know what I did, but I don't know if I was lifting boxes at the non. I don't know what I did If I slept on the wrong, if.

Kim Elledge: 17:54

I did work. I did man, and like it was there, I went out to lunch with my home girl and there was a point where she looked she's like are you okay? I couldn't even focus on the conversation because my it was just like such pain and I'm like I have to go home and lay down Like I cannot even handle sitting here at lunch so, and I don't really ever have problems like with physical with my body, so I was just like man. I like for people who have to deal with this kind of pain, it's like that's crazy, yeah, crazy. I felt bad. Then I see how people just get. I mean, I know why people get hooked on like oxys and chip, because it's like drugs and it's whatever. I mean drugs were the best, I loved them, I really did. But I like for people who have to take that shit every day, like just so they don't feel that it's like I get it.

Courtney Andersen: 18:50

Yeah, yeah, and that's like, and even going back like this past year of being in that much physical pain. It has led me to points of where I have used food more in a cycle of like drinking, and then I had to recognize that and be like oh no, no, no, no, I can't know.

Kim Elledge: 19:15

Like like emotional eating.

Courtney Andersen: 19:17

Well, not like, yeah, like, just like getting a dope, mean to like not feel the pain because Advil only could take so much. Right, like, yeah, and just being in the cycle of starting to get into that cycle, like, okay, on Monday I'm going to eat clean, like that's what I'm saying when I've had like an emotional like where I'm starting back at like rock bottom, in a sense of my own emotional, and building myself back up, which I will fucking do. That I guarantee. When six months here, it will be a different tune. But I had to recognize patterns and I think, for anybody who lives a life who starts off with like, okay, I'm going to quit doing drugs, I'm going to quit drinking alcohol, right, like.

Courtney Andersen: 20:05

It is a constant work in progress, not all the time, not 24, seven, but you have these periods of time in your life after you quit, that one thing that was holding you back, where it's very easy to fall back into old thinking patterns. Yeah, in acting out with something else whether it is a fucking hot dog, a dick, some crack, some pornography, something, some being a fucking menace to other people and just being a fucking user there's a lashing out and it's your lashing out with that A, B and C to cope. It all goes back to the coping, let's face it. Good people of the world, the holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year, but also the most challenging, for lots of different reasons. I've got a pro tip for you. Exact nature CBD products make it all more manageable. They have products for cravings and for the changes in mood, focus and sleep that can be a part of getting sober. Available in oils, soft gels and gummies and varying strengths and formulas made by people in recovery for people in recovery.

Courtney Andersen: 21:27

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Kim Elledge: 22:27

Yeah, coping sometimes is tough. I found myself, like a month ago, after little bit before Thanksgiving, like kind of like going into like that, a little bit of that Victimization mindset where it's like, oh, I'm doing all the right things and am I gonna be alone forever, and like my greatest fear in life is to end up like my mother and I just had to fuck, I had to stop myself because it's like you are not alone. You got oh, hey, drexel, drexel's here, everybody. You are not alone. You have a great network of friends. You have my relationship with, obviously of my sisters, my most important one, and I'm like I just didn't want to go down that rabbit hole of being like Whoa is me, I'm single, I'm alone. Like instead, I like stopped real quick because when my brain goes into that it's not good because then I start acting out and acting like a dickhead. So I had to stop myself.

Kim Elledge: 23:27

It's like what do you mean, kimberly? Like you have straight freedom, you are safe, you are loved by people, you are really truly, for the first time in your life, actually starting to like like yourself and Everything is okay, like you're not alone and being alone is okay, like I'm perfectly Comfortable with myself. I mean, hell, I take myself out on like dates and stuff. I'm, I'm fine and I'm like anywhere I go for some reason I don't know what the fuck it is but I just I start talking to the random people and have like great conversations, and so it's like I had to like stop that mindset, because it's like you're not alone, you're okay, like get over yourself, bitch, everything is fine, yeah yeah, come on.

Courtney Andersen: 24:19

And it goes back to that thinking. I think that many people with addiction issues have it's, it's the fucking thinking disease, and sometimes you just got to tell yourself to shut the fuck up.

Kim Elledge: 24:30

Just shut the fuck up. Yeah, set your whole ass down and shut the fuck up like it's oh, everything is okay, you're safe, you're coming out of your free stay like a trauma response Everything's good, like you are moving forward and what will be will be and it's, it's okay. I Always have to tell myself to like you're safe, you're safe, and I don't know really what that's about, but I find myself saying that to myself.

Courtney Andersen: 24:55

I Feel like I know what that's about.

Kim Elledge: 25:01

Yeah, like just you're safe, everything's okay thing. I'm talking to like my inner child or some shit. But I do have to Let myself know sometimes like you're safe and everything is okay yeah and you're not gonna be alone forever.

Courtney Andersen: 25:17

And I have to say there have reports out.

Kim Elledge: 25:22

I know what you're about to say. I think I read this yeah, I sent.

Courtney Andersen: 25:26

I send it to you anytime I come up, come across it on the gram and read about it that there is Reports that the happiest women in the world are, yeah, the happiest women in the world are not married with zero kids, vyakasha, you know. So I mean, I'll never say that I look back at my life for the dictator, cuz it's just, it's a world of difference. Like you said to me the other day when I was in my emotional Men to be where you're like it's different, isn't it? Yeah, it's different.

Courtney Andersen: 26:01

It's different having kids, because this, this, this kid brings me joy every goddamn day and I just like, love him so much and even when I go run an errand I look forward coming home to see him. So weird I.

Kim Elledge: 26:17

Miss CJ sometimes like I love that guy, he's the best, so he is closest, besides to like how we were with Caitlin, but the closest that I would think it would be to like having a Kid, like that relationship so. But I mean I watched you and Matt's life like transform and change and I just it's different and I think I'm so like in the loop and in the cusp of it that I just see like Just it's different.

Courtney Andersen: 26:50

Yeah, so it's different. So I'll never go back, but I will say I being able to leave your house Without buckling a little one in, yes, it's priceless.

Kim Elledge: 27:03

Yeah, like I. That's why I'm saying like I have gratitude for like my freedom and like Things I'm gonna start doing and I'm really like gonna hone in and start like traveling again and doing things that and I'm gonna do it by myself and it's fine, and who knows where the world will take me, who knows, but I'm doing it right, and who knows who you'll meet.

Courtney Andersen: 27:25

I mean, there's people I have to say this because I don't know if we've shouted this out yet but like, and sometimes I forget what we talk about and then when people slide into our DMs, I'm like when did we say that right? And we give my sister and I say it all the time my sister took me out to a fancy steak dinner the other night, which I greatly appreciated.

Kim Elledge: 27:47

I did. Courtney was having a rough week and I was like, listen, bitch, like I'm, you mean me when you get off work and I'm gonna take you out to dinner. You can sit down and just relax. And we had a great time. We had fun.

Courtney Andersen: 28:00

Yeah, yeah, that was a great time. I still remember that smell, that cologne that guy was wearing.

Kim Elledge: 28:06

So you know it's fucked up, fuck you. Because when you smell, you smelled that nice man and wearing some fucking nice expensive cologne. But when I do it, you have all types of shit to say, like about my perfume. Because, guys, you guys know I love perfume, right, we've talked about it. I mean I put perfume on before I go to bed, right, and Courtney tells me it's an endocrine Interruptor. She says some bullshit and then I stayed the night there on Thanksgiving and she's like whoo, whoo. I can still smell TT's cuz CJ calls me TT. I can still smell TT's perfume on the sheets, whoo. But I swear to God, when she walked past that nice man wearing that cologne, she sat down and she had a little twinkle in her eye. Well, I was like oh.

Courtney Andersen: 29:01

Because that is right. Well, for me, I like the opposite sex, so it's like his pheromones with that cologne. It's like, oh my god, whoo Well nice Courtney, had to get yourself together for a minute. God, where are we going with this conversation? I?

Kim Elledge: 29:18

Don't know. Sometimes we're a mess. We just go off the Richter, oh.

Courtney Andersen: 29:23

Yeah, we were just talking about how we appreciate the good people of the world listening to us because, like the even to a Listener and a person in our sobriety circle, community sent us some tea and I gave it to Kim and she's like God, people really do listen. So it was just, it was very, it was very nice because she had given Kim some decaf tea to try before she goes to bed, because Kim talks about her insomnia. So it was saying, like, really, that people do listen. So we appreciate you, we appreciate you being here with us for four seasons and Season four is ending in the end of January and then we're gonna take a little bit of a break because we need to Shut the fuck up for a little bit. Shut the fuck up, yeah, f you.

Courtney Andersen: 30:15

Yeah, because there will be a sober vibes season five, because that was always the plan to go five seasons with this podcast, and We'll do five seasons and reevaluate some things, mm-hmm. So I think eventually what will happen is my sister and I will want to split off and just do our podcast, just the two of us I Know that right and go full on out. But we have some plans for that.

Kim Elledge: 30:42

Yeah, and it's all about timing and when things align with itself and well, and then dig a little bit deeper and just whatever, whatever we come up with creatively and but I really have enjoyed doing this podcast. I really have I've talked about in the past and it's fun. It's just it was for new listeners. It was started in the pandemic and Courtney brought me on and we just it's a good bonding, it's a good sissy project and it's great and we've connected with so so many people like it's cool.

Courtney Andersen: 31:15

Oh, it's very cool because I love talking to people. I love talking to the listeners and connecting. Your brother-in-law is trying to take credit for the whole lot. Oh, is he? Oh, yeah, because when he saw the T he was like what's this from? I let him read the note and he was like, after he read the nice note that she wrote us, he was like oh, isn't that interesting? He's like didn't I tell you that you and your sister should do a lot of casting?

Kim Elledge: 31:45

He did.

Courtney Andersen: 31:50

Well, he did, but that was after you said it to me and the signs kept pointing that he was the final one where the universe was speaking. Yeah, and that's what I had to tell him. I said listen, you are the final one, sir.

Kim Elledge: 32:07

Right, we'll give him a little bit of credit. I'll keep sending him crumble cookies in the Uber.

Courtney Andersen: 32:13

God, those crumble cookies man.

Kim Elledge: 32:16

Poof, poof, poof. Them shits are fire. I send them to Courtney's house because I really want to send them to my house, but I will eat the whole box. You can't just order one. You have to either order four or six or a dozen, or however the money fuck you want. But I have no business with four cookies in my house because they'll be gone in a second because I can't handle it. Once I start on the sugar, it's over.

Courtney Andersen: 32:45

Well, I did reach out to them to see if they wanted to sponsor a podcast. I have not heard back, but I just think that would be the greatest get the good people of the world a discount code to crumble cookies. But, and also, too, I think, that you sent me a box for my birthday and it's just such a great gift.

Kim Elledge: 33:05

Yeah, oh yeah. And then Courtney called back and she's like can you do me a favor and send another box, because Pony Boy didn't get the flavor he wanted or he didn't get to eat it because Courtney and CJ took it down.

Courtney Andersen: 33:17

We did take it down. I was like that oatmeal pie. Why it was so good, so good. Do you want anybody who's struggling right now sister, in this time of year, or if you, they stumble across this podcast in this episode in the future? If they're struggling right now, what would you recommend? What are your words? Words of wisdom.

Kim Elledge: 33:39

For the struggling addict. It's I just do. My question is to do you want to live or do you want to die? Is what do you want? I always will ask what do you want? What kind of life do you want to live? Because a life in active addiction is like it's just so tiring for the soul. It really, really is, and I really think like addicts are like the most sensitive souls on the planet and at the core of them it's like us as addicts. We've done terrible, terrible things, but it does not make you a terrible person. So I would just say what do you want? What kind of life do you want to live? And tell you deserve it. You deserve to have a good life. Like it doesn't have to be how it is currently.

Kim Elledge: 34:34

I know the world is a raw and can be a very sad place. There's a lot of shit going on, but if there's also a lot of good and there's a lot of like beauty to it and there's a lot of good people and just to try to try, because you know as an addict, if you make it out of that, it means like you got the fucking juice. You are that motherfucker, so be that motherfucker. It's really like it's some fight, it's some fight or shit, Like if you can do it, you got it and it's nothing but respect from me and I just it makes me sad that people just struggle so hard. It's very sad and lonely place and I just I don't want people to feel defeated by the disease. I mean, this disease kills, so I just try with everything you have. That would be mine and that it's worth it. On the other side of it, it's worth it.

Courtney Andersen: 35:36

Yeah, something you just said, and I had a guest on here back I don't know back in the spring. His name's Mike Diamond, if you go back and listen to that episode if you haven't. But he made a great point and he wrote a book that was really good. I read it. But he made a really good point. And, just going off of what you said about, if you look at an addict and he brought Robert Downey Jr up and he was like how did that man go from completely nothing to Iron man? It's like because it's the addict mind. He's like absolutely and it is it's like. Think of that situation. Don't you remember when Robert Downey Jr was like shunned? Yeah, not funny, but he was like he was shunned and I will always remember like hit them on glimpses of TV of they showing him in his court cases and he just looking so like sad and he looked defeated and whatnot. And then this man came back and fucking became Iron man and the rest is history.

Kim Elledge: 36:40

The rest is history. Yeah, that's a good comeback kid story. Robert Downey Jr, I mean he loved cocaine.

Courtney Andersen: 36:46

Loved cocaine. I think he even loved crack too. I think, yeah, he did, he did and so and like just came and people don't want to fuck with him anymore, and then he got sober. And I think I think one person no, it was Gibson, it was our boy Gibby. Gibby Shout out. I think Gibson helped him get Kim and I have a running joke about Gibson. Okay, we understand where Gibson has done, but I love him.

Courtney Andersen: 37:17

I don't care I love him, he helped him and then I think somebody else gave him a chance and he started. Yeah, because Gibson put him in a movie that started to bring back his career and the rest is history.

Kim Elledge: 37:34

The rest is history. Oh yeah, he, robert Downey Jr, definitely loved cocaine and when, mainly like hardcore cocaine addicts, they really mean crack. You know what I'm saying?

Courtney Andersen: 37:46

Yeah, I just got to do that. Right, who doesn't love RDJ? On another note, I just want to end on this too, because my sister and I have talked about this and I have to say it vocally. If you are a Bravo Housewives fan and you are watching the current season of Beverly Hills Housewives where Kyle got sober has been sober for like a year I still have to say that's one of like seeing how those girls talked about her quitting drinking. That was probably one of the grossest things I've ever seen in housewives history. And there's been people going to jail, scaring the elderly people going to jail for signing off on papers that they didn't read, that their husbands made them sign off on.

Kim Elledge: 38:39

Yeah, like straight debauchery, like criminal shit. And this poor woman's trying to get sober. Because you're watching it and you know she comes from a family of addiction and just like the whole her family, sister relationship and everything like if you watch it you can see. And Kyle, this bitch is trying to like heal herself and like she's coming out and doing some actual self-work and working on some co-dependency, like you can see it. And she realizing she hates her fucking husband and she's just trying to like heal and be a better version of herself. And these girls are like fucking talk shit.

Courtney Andersen: 39:14

Yeah, thinking that she's going through a midlife crisis, but I have to say this is the perfect example of what it does look like when somebody is trying to quit drinking alcohol and trying to better themselves, and you will get feedback from people who are fucking haters.

Kim Elledge: 39:36

Mm-hmm, all right. I mean they're like we want the old Kyle back and she's like I cannot afford to be depressed right now, like it makes me. She gets the anxiety and shit. So I didn't really like that, I didn't love that, that they aired that, but it's what it looks like. It's like when you get sober, you get a whole new network and crew of people, because when you grow and start having boundaries, people don't like that shit. I mean, trust me, I know.

Courtney Andersen: 40:04

They really don't, because they like you, they're used to you the way that you were Sick, yeah, yeah, that you were sick and too you could tell with Kyle she had a, she was a people pleaser, a thousand and a hundred percent. But that's also because of what she was conditioned in her environment with that elder sister of hers yeah, that lady and the mother.

Kim Elledge: 40:29

Correct Like just nuts.

Courtney Andersen: 40:32

Oh man, all right, that's all I wanted to say on the Bravo, the Bravo history. Well, this was a good chat today, sissy.

Kim Elledge: 40:38

Oh yeah, everybody. You guys have a merry Christmas, happy holiday, happy Kwanzaa, happy Hanukkah whatever everyone celebrates, and just be safe and love the ones you're with and love yourself more importantly.

Courtney Andersen: 40:54

That was a great send off. Make sure Santa is coming. Santa is coming. I'm excited for Santa to come this year because he finally the little dictator, finally gets it. But again, happy holidays and I will be back next week with a solo episode to end out the 2023 year. Make sure, if you need any free resources, make sure to check the links in the show notes, as long as checking out our sponsor. Come join the sobriety circle. Remember, for the month of December you get $10 off your first month sign up, which means then it will be $25 for your first month. After that it's $35, you can cancel at any time. And then my sister's meeting for December is actually on New Year's Eve. Oh snap, yeah, so you can plug in with her to start your New Year's off, right, yeah?

Kim Elledge: 41:50

don't forget to remind me again. Yeah.

Courtney Andersen: 41:55

All right, keep on tracking everyone and stay safe out there. Love you.