Embracing Forgiveness and Resilience: Closing the Year with Reflections on Sobriety and Growth

Episode 162:Embracing Forgiveness and Resilience: Closing the Year with Reflections on Sobriety and Growth

In episode 162 of the Sober Vibes podcast, Courtney Andersen discusses embracing forgiveness and resilience. She also discusses the importantance of reflection on the past year.  This episode is a tapestry of personal anecdotes, hard-earned wisdom, and the vital practices that sustain emotional and physical well-being.

Setting our gaze on the horizon of 2024, we acknowledge the unproductive nature of dwelling on the past and instead focus on the empowerment that comes from conquering relapse.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Practicing Forgiveness 
• Reflection is Key 
• Embracing forgiveness for the New Year 
• Little Changes Add Up 

Thank you for listening, and we hope this episode helps.

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Transcript

Courtney Andersen: 0:01

Thank you, hey, welcome to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach, courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 162. And this is the last episode of 2023. We have had a kick-ass year. We've been very consistent and you got it.

Courtney Andersen: 0:49

We made it to 162 episodes of this GD podcast, which I love. I love because when I started it back in February of 2020, I didn't know. I didn't know what was all going to come about. And here we are, 162 episodes later. We still have one more month to go of season four and then season four most likely will be coming to an end in the end of January, and that's that for season four. There will be a season five. Though, if you're wondering because I did have always wanted to go five seasons with this podcast If you listened to last week's episode with my sister and I, that's what I shared more about. I've always pictured five seasons and will reevaluate from there. And 162 episodes.

Courtney Andersen: 1:40

I just have to say going saying this is that that's a lot of talking. That's a lot of talking and a lot of knowledge, and my goal is always in my intention with this podcast is to help others along their sobriety and recovery journey. So in this episode, we're going to talk a little bit about forgiveness okay, and forgiveness from the year of 2023. Because your journey might have not panned out how you wanted it to. You might have set out on January 1st with the resolution to quit drinking alcohol and you have probably had some spouts of sobriety and been on and off, on and off of the wagon. And I want to tell you one that is okay if that happened, right, what the good news is? That you keep trying and when you keep trying, there is no failure and there is no past failing.

Courtney Andersen: 2:47

Anyways, in this road of recovery and sobriety because it's hard, it's not easy Everybody's situation is different. People have different layers and levels of support. Some people don't have support at all right, so it's all different for everybody. I'll say it again that is why sobriety and recovery is not a one size fits all, and even to how we process information, that is not a one size fits all. It usually takes about seven times for a person to hear something before it finally connects accurate. So just because you're listening to one sober podcast episode, it doesn't mean that you're going to be like okay, yes, I'm going to this episode, I'm quitting drinking, I'm done and then two days later, you find yourself drinking. There's a lot that goes into it. There's many layers, but I want you to look at your 2023 experience.

Courtney Andersen: 3:40

I want you to look at the year and I want you to forgive yourself for the things that had happened right, because those things that had happened are always a great learning lesson of what you can do differently going forward. You know how many times I have fallen on my ass and got myself back. Yeah, it hasn't been with drinking in the past 11 years, but it's been with other things of just whether it's self doubt or failing in a business or doing something on social media where I'm like, oh kind of cringe worthy and I could look at it and say, okay, I'm done, I'm not worthy and I could look at it as a fail, but it's also a lesson on how you can get better. So that's what I want you to look at Whatever bump in the road you had this past year, to look at it, learn from it and get better in your own way, in your own time. But there's no sense of holding on to something and keep fucking beating yourself up. There's just not. There's not right. So great.

Courtney Andersen: 4:47

You had 100 days sober and then you found yourself in the middle of a relapse. It happens, but don't keep being like well, I had 100 days sober. Like what? Why can't I get out of this? And that's on you to figure out how you can get out of it. I'm really figuring out like okay, do I need to dig deeper into support? Do I need to start going to a therapist? Do I need to check out AA? Do I need to check out AA? Do I need to check out a 12 step program? Do I need to go to rehab? Do I need to check out an outpatient rehab program? Do I need to connect more with people who are like, minded right? Do I need to remove myself out of situations where I am so easily triggered?

Courtney Andersen: 5:36

To keep consistent with a sober life, especially in the beginning, you have to do the complete opposite of what you were doing in that act of addiction. You have to for a little bit of time, okay, and then in time you can start being putting yourself back in situations where then you are not tempted. I cannot state that enough. You cannot keep going at the rate that you were going in your act of addiction life and the same speed in your sober life, because then guess what? Nothing changed. Nothing changed. You have to remove yourself from environments and away from people for some time to continue to have it click and continue to fucking have another day sober. You have to have a little bit of sacrifice, but that sacrifice isn't going to be, like I said, forever and honestly, after you made that sacrifice and you're feeling good and you put yourself back in a situation, you might be like fuck, this doesn't align with me. I actually don't feel good in this. Some of these people it's like I have grown past them and that's not to say in a judgmental way, but it's just because you are no longer aligning with that type of energy. You got to protect your energy for a very long time in your sobriety and your recovery, to do what's best for you.

Courtney Andersen: 7:11

So, whatever happened in 2023, forgive yourself. I know you're like it's easier said than done, courtney, you're absolutely right, but keep telling yourself I forgive myself, I'm no longer in that space. Or if again, you're in the middle of a relapse, I'm done. Claim it as you're done and start adjusting to what's going to keep you on the straight and narrow, okay, and what's going to keep you on the alcohol free life. That is my best advice I can give. But to keep shaming yourself and beating yourself up and shoulda, woulda, coulda. It's not productive. It's actually just gonna keep you in the mindset of being like, well, fuck it and make you feel bad about yourself and keep drinking, and we don't want that. We do not want that for you. We want you to move forward, because 2024 is upon us and it's a new year and I really want you to think about it. It's like you're listening to this now and say this do I want if you had a yuck 23?

Courtney Andersen: 8:23

I mean, I did not have the best of 2023 emotionally. I talked about this in the episode with my sister and I dealt with back pain and this past fall it reflared up during the summer. I was good and I was like this past fall in wintertime, the last couple months, I was like I'm gonna be okay. I had another flare up and was in and out of that for a couple months and it was not good. I did not emotionally. I was not living my best life this past year and I don't want that for 2024, right.

Courtney Andersen: 9:00

So from the lessons that I have learned this year, I know what I need to do on a daily basis to get myself back in a good emotional state of mind and a healthier state of living and being. Okay, so that's what I had learned and what also, to where it's like dude, I just I don't want to not feel good. I have a two year old dictator who keeps me on my feet all day long. He keeps me on my toes, he rules my world and I love it. But I want to be able to match that and be a better mother with him emotionally and just more for myself too. Okay, but he is my why. Myself and him are my why of of taking better care of myself. I think that's at the end of this is what I'm trying to say is taking better care of myself.

Courtney Andersen: 9:58

So, anyways, so I don't want to look back at the end of 2024 and be like, well, nothing's changed in the past two years. That sucks. There goes another two years of my. There went two years of my life that I was not feeling my best. So I really want you to do an, apply it to however you want to apply it of 23. And if you had a fucking great 2023, amazing, that's amazing.

Courtney Andersen: 10:24

I just I feel like this past year was very hard on. I feel like it was very hard on a lot of people, like the past three years have been hard on a lot of people, but I do believe it's time to make the change in the only person and that's where, if I've been saying it a lot, it's like something I learned this year again that I needed to relearn, because I don't know it all. I don't and I'll never claim to know it all, because when you claim to fucking know it all, then that's just your ego and everybody has continuous lessons and I will never let my ego get the best of me in this process of my, of my own sobriety. I keep you got to keep that ego in check, especially in this area, in the sobriety area. Let's face it.

Courtney Andersen: 11:18

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Courtney Andersen: 12:51

So now I forget what I was gonna say, where I just put that, oh yeah, being that I don't know at all, because nobody knows it all. It's a constant evolution. So, going back to it, though, I don't want to end 2024 feeling like I had the past couple months and on and off this past year, so I know what I need to do to continue to feel my best self. That's what I was trying to get to the point at, so I want you to forgive yourself for whatever happened in 2023 and I have forgiven myself for this past year and move forward, and move forward and come up with a plan. If drinking is the problem for you, come up with a plan of okay, what am I gonna do in this following year to make myself not drink alcohol? Make myself feel the best and listen.

Courtney Andersen: 13:46

Even feeling the best is just not drinking for a day and just brushing your teeth and going for a 20 minute rage walk. Do it. You don't have to do a thousand things in one day to feel like you are quote-unquote recovering. Sometimes you just need to fucking sleep, because that is what is good for your recovery at the time. Listen to your body. Your body is the best North Star in this. If you're feeling it like I shouldn't put myself in that situation because I'll be tempted to drink don't do it, don't. That's why I say a lot too.

Courtney Andersen: 14:22

Give yourself the 60 minute rule of just staying somewhere for 60 minutes and then leaving exit stage left. You don't have to stay somewhere for fucking five hours, where then you drive yourself nuts and your anxiety is at all time high and it's just time to go. Save yourself the headache. Save yourself the headache. So, whatever it was for 2023. Forgive yourself, move forward, talk about it and write it out your feelings. If you need to talk about it with the therapist, share with the friend, be whatever it may be, but just work on forgiveness and, like I said, you're not living in that space anymore and keep telling your mind that you have to constantly talk to yourself, of building yourself up with affirmations, and it's same thing. It's like if you've been living a sober life for the past six months. Tell yourself that Every day, I have not drink alcohol in six months. I am living, I am a sober person. Okay, come up with the plan for 2024, whatever that is. Come up with the plan, set the intentions and I believe in you and that you're going to kick ass and take names in the next year, as always.

Courtney Andersen: 15:42

I hope this episode helped. It's been a great year and it has, even with the emotionals, ups and downs, it's still, to me, has been a great year personally and I shouldn't say personally, but professionally of what I have accomplished. And looking back, yes, I was living with the emotional and physical pain, because when you're in physical pain, it really makes you feel like a fucking bag of dicks and if you and it takes a toll on your emotional well-being. But professionally, I had one of the best years ever with the growth of this podcast, the growth of my business and With my book. I just I still can't believe I wrote a goddamn book that I Was published by publishing company and then it's helped you. So thank you for the support on that. I really appreciate it. Thank you for tuning in each week unless you're sober vibes podcast in the year 2023 and Thank you for trusting me in this delicate dance of sobriety, because it is a delicate dance and I don't take that for granted, so don't you take it for granted either.

Courtney Andersen: 16:57

Okay, if you haven't gotten my book already sober vibes a guide to thriving with your first three months without alcohol Grab it. The link is in the show notes. You can find it on Amazon, barnes and Nobles. You can I mean, you can even order it at Target online. Isn't that fancy? If not, the link is in the show notes below. If you haven't already and you want to take advantage of the December's discount for the sobriety circle, where you can get $10 off your first month of your Membership, you can cancel at any time, it's no problem. So it'll be $25 your first month with the code Holiday at checkout. Then it goes to $35 a month.

Courtney Andersen: 17:41

Dig in the meetings Are great to connect with others. It's a separate app. My sister and my friend Leah host a meeting, so there's insight from them as well. You can get all of my other freebies with the show note and the links in the show notes below. And, as always, if you haven't, please rate, review and subscribe to the sober vibes podcast so you never miss an episode. Okay, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much. Happy 2023 and I will be back in 2024 with another episode of the sober vibes podcast. Stay healthy out there and keep on truckin you.