Episode 2 - Client Success Story: Rachel’s 30kg Weight Loss Without Dieting

In this episode of Coffee with H.E.R., Laura sits down with Rachel Harrington, a global ambassador for H.E.R. Collective. Rachel shares her powerful journey of overcoming PCOS, emotional eating, and perfectionism, discovering a balanced approach to nutrition and self-care. She opens up about the connection between mental health, hormones, and self-compassion, emphasizing the importance of treating yourself with kindness and trust.

Rachel’s transformation has not only reshaped her relationship with food but also strengthened her confidence, relationships, and career. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation! If you have questions for Rachel about her journey, connect with her on Instagram @musicdame21.

Tags

Diet, Binge Eating, Yo-Yo Dieting, Weight Loss, PCOS, Thyroid, Mental Health, Depression, Healthy Eating, Mindset, Autonomy, Food Choices, Balance, Emotional Eating, Women Empowerment, Nutrition, Personal Growth, ADHD, Hormonal Health, Self-Discovery, Empowerment, Relationships

Thank you for listening! Follow for more empowering stories!

Connect with us on Instagram @hercollective_theapp

or through our website www.hercollective.au

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Coffee With Her. That's us, the Healthy Eating Revolution, with your host Laura Morel. This is the podcast where we are all about normalizing you. Grab a coffee or let's go on a walk as we dive into real, raw, and sometimes very taboo topics. Together, we'll unpack those thoughts you thought were just yours with inspiring guests reminding you you're not broken, you're human. Make sure to subscribe to never miss an episode. Let's laugh, learn, and rewire one coffee at a time. Hello and welcome to Coffee with Her. We are back with another episode that is going to be juicy, educational, and just full of aha, that is me moments. And we have a very special guest today, and I say very special because she is very special to me. She is one of our global ambassadors for the healthy eating revolution. She is one of my clients, and we have been working so closely together that I know all the inner wirings of her brain, I know all her hormonal status, and I feel like I know all her insides. But I want to do a special welcome to Rachel Harrington. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

I'm so excited. I've been waiting for this for weeks, and I'm so glad we actually set a time and we're here chit-chatting together. Just a little bit about me. I am, as you can hear, American. So I am from the US, right outside of Washington, DC, our nation's capital. My background, I actually was a teacher for a really long time. I am an artist as well, a theater artist. Um, and right now I'm actually working in HR, which I also love. So I'm a woman of many different talents, and I wear many different hats. But um, that's a little bit about me, and you know, I have so enjoyed being on this journey with you, and I can't wait to talk more about it. But uh, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

I love it. And what the funny thing is, is you first heard about our work at The Healthy Eating Revolution on a podcast, and now here you are on a podcast as the person talking about her journey, and I find that so beautiful because so many women listening feel like they're so far away from being that girl who's got the results. We feel like that can't be me. Oh my god, she's so lucky. How did she do it? And you were once that girl, but now you are on the other side, and I hope this just inspires any women out there, and we'll talk about your challenges shortly. But anyone that feels like they can't achieve their goals, they're inconsistent, they sabotage whatever your struggles are, that you can be that girl because you are that girl and you're here now, and it makes me so excited.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

So, firstly, what brought you to the healthy eating revolution to begin with?

SPEAKER_01 2:56

So, as you kind of mentioned, I actually found the Her Collective through a podcast. Um, and I think the title of it was What Does She Know?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

And Lily, our beautiful Lily, also an ex-client.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Yes, yeah. And actually the crazy thing is, as I was scrolling through TikTok trying to find like recipes because I had once again decided I was going to get back on the wagon with my health after falling off months earlier. Um because I I'd kind of reached like a dead end. I was like, I have to do something. And I felt really like kind of lost and not really sure what I needed to do, but I needed to do something different. So I happened upon the podcast and I was out taking a walk, and I was like, all right, listen, if nothing else, it'll be something to listen to for my walk. And when I say by the first of all, I walked way farther because the podcast was long. So you're welcome. Yeah, thank you for that. Um, but it just basically hit me right in the heart. Every single thing that I've experienced between struggling with PCOS, struggling with my weight my entire life, just to having tried like every single diet and put putting myself through the ringer, really, to try and get to my goals and still not reaching them. You really broke it down beautifully into you know what the science was behind that, that I wasn't alone in feeling that, and then just talking about all the clients you worked with. I am usually pretty cautious about the things that I get myself into. I try to protect my time and what's going on. But I said, Okay, I'm just gonna do the free consultation. Because you had mentioned you were like, Yeah, here's my website, do a free consultation. And I was like, okay, we'll just see what this is about. Um, and we met and I instantly fell in love with you. You were everything I was hoping and more. Um and the feeling was so mutual. We talked, it was supposed to be 30 minutes, but it was definitely an hour, and I was like, oh my gosh, I felt so bad, but you're like, no, this is great. Um, I felt like talking to an old friend about like the difficult things I was dealing with, and you had solutions, which I was so happy about. But that was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I do a lot for other people because I'm that kind of person, but this has been the best gift to me. You have been the best gift to me by far.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Oh stop. That makes me so giddy in so many ways, and I do remember our first conversation because that consultation and really okay, to be honest, I don't know how coaches do 15-minute consults. I'm sorry, how can you find out about someone in 15 minutes? Like I can't do it, I can't do it. But I remember that conversation, and then I remember walking away, like really hoping I felt like I could give you that turning that helpless feeling into hopeful and helping you realize you're not broken. The sabotaging behaviors, the hormonal conditions, and all the challenges, which felt like we had five or six balls up in the air trying to where do I even start? I just wanted you to walk away feeling like, okay, I'm actually not broken, and my brain is actually fine. And that's kind of where our journey began. And I feel like so many women will relate to that, feeling like, oh, another consult, another, you know, have to tell another person all my other problems, and you feel like you're just regurgitating the same problems, and the biggest difference is you're not pigeonholed. Like I see you, and we so see you here, and that is just such a beautiful way where we began our journey together.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Yes, you've seen all of the things we've talked about. And you've had such great insight. I'm talking everything, like head-to-toe people. Everything, but you're so knowledgeable, and things I'll be like, hey Laura, I know this is gonna sound crazy and weird, and you're like, actually, no, this is why that thing happens. So just a wealth of information.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

I've never imagined either I'm crazy and weird myself, so I see it as normal, or that's just how our brain works, and you're actually pretty normal. So either way, I'm just gonna say I'm normal.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

I'm just gonna be like, I'm so normal.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

I love it. So talk me through. I know you mentioned P COS. Talk me through what have your been your biggest challenges before starting the program that you felt were never gonna end, or you were never going to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Like, what was your biggest what we call bugbears here in Australia? What were your biggest bugbears coming into the program?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

So I hold myself to a super high standard. Uh, I think I always have, it could be an oldest daughter thing, it could just be a female thing, it could just be anything. Um, but I really expect perfection from myself. Um, and that was very evident in my health journey that if I wasn't gonna be able to knock it out of the park, if I wasn't gonna be able to lose all the weight and keep the weight off or you know, do that perfectly, I didn't want to start. And as soon as I felt myself backsliding in a situation where I was gaining weight or stuff like that, I immediately shut down. And I was in kind of that all or nothing mindset that we've talked a lot about. And it's kept me in this yo-yo situation since really honestly since I was 13. We talked about it when I first started, but I've been dieting since I was 13, which sounds insane when I say it out loud. What did I know at 13? But you know, going through that process over and over again and failing, but somehow picking myself back up and being like, this time it has to be perfect. Yeah, I have to do this perfectly because it was so personal is kind of what what brought me to this point, especially with you. I think you know, we worked through a lot of that, we've gotten past that all or nothing mindset in many things, but that was the biggest thing that kind of like kept me where I was, made all the difference in whether I was gonna be successful or not, really.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah, and I think a few things that you said there that I think so many women are gonna be like, oh my god, me too, which maybe that should be the name of the podcast, oh my god, me too, because I really want women to just resonate because we feel so isolated in challenges that are so universal. And a couple of the ones you mentioned is that perfectionist mindset, is that all or nothing mindset, which then leads to the restrictive binge eating, emotional eating behaviors, and the feeling of falling off track and having to start again, and that's the really debilitating cycle. And so I feel like so many women are gonna resonate with that about your story. And what would you say felt really different with this program? So when you've started programs before, what was different?

SPEAKER_01 9:59

So in other programs, you showed up already in shame. You showed up to that program shameful for the way that you were looking and feeling about your body and potentially you know your life as a whole, because that is very it's you, right? It's your body, it's how you represent and show up in the world. So you've already started that journey with shame. And then people are telling you that you are uneducated about yourself, about your body, what you're putting in it, um, and only they can fix you. You don't have that autonomy to fix yourself. Um, when the truth is, is you are with yourself 24-7. Okay. Um, the beautiful thing about working with you and just being a part of the her collective is I didn't show up in shame. I showed up and you said, let me meet you where you're at. Let me let me show you things that you'd never seen before or considered, and you really worked with me to give me that autonomy to have control of what I was doing to help myself, um, and making it so that it would be long term. This is a life, truly a life change. Because the thing that really I think I still think about when we first talked, you were like, I don't want you to be my client for the rest of your life. The whole point is that I'm giving you that education um and the structure and the ability to do these things on your own. And I was like, that is what I wanted to hear. I was like, I don't want to be stuck in this loop of paying the subscription and going and weighing myself in front of large groups of people and feeling bad about myself, and um, that was really the difference between doing some of these more commercialized programs and then your specific program. That's truly, truly the highlight.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

I love that, and I always joke that I have the worst business model in the world because when you're taught how to run a business, you get taught that you want client retention, and I'm like, but I actually don't want client retention, I want them to go on their own. So I'm like, really shitty business plan if you ask me. But a big thing when it comes to the psychology of eating and psychology of behavior change is autonomy. Our brain is wired to make choices ourselves, and I have a little story for you which you'll probably resonate with from previous coaches. But I remember when I was younger and it was on a Sunday, and my period, I just got my period that day, and I was working with a coach and we do weigh-ins every Monday, and I was so hungry. So instead of having 80 grams of brown rice, which let me tell you, 80 grams of brown rice is like not even an entree for me right now, but I was like, okay, well, I'll just increase the brown rice. So I increased to like 200 grams or something like that. Then the next day I went in and weighed myself and I was like 1.6 kilos up. As a punishment with that coach because my weight was up, and I was really honest with her and said I ate more brown rice because I was really hungry, got my period, a bit emotional, thinking I had done the right thing, it was healthy food, I got my calories dropped. So this, now that I look back and I think women can resonate, is paying for a service where we were punished for a natural fluctuation on the scales, a natural hunger fluctuation, but then actually punished for making the decision, even though it was a healthy choice, actually being punished for that. And this is where we get such labels of black and white, um, good or bad, when it comes to food, and we lose the trust in making our own choices with food. And that memory just stands out to me so much because it was one of those moments before I became a coach that I was like, I don't want that for my clients, and I think that is something that as an industry is a big gap that we need to address because we've paid for so many perfectionist mentalities, paying a coach for compliance, paying a coach to tell us what to eat. But then what happens after hours when it's just you and yourself, you yourself and I, and we don't know how to make decisions. So I hope that story kind of resonates with a lot of people. And going on from that, you know, you mentioned a lot of those kind of cycles and behaviours and the starting again. I think the biggest breakthroughs we had early on, we actually didn't hyperfocus on calories or macros or anything like that at the start of the program. It was purely getting to know your brain. And I think a really big highlight to your story, which we'll dive into, is how much we removed the all-or-nothing behaviors, the binge eating behaviors in less than 12 weeks. Do you want to talk a little bit about your kind of experience and journey with food and how much that helped end those behaviors quicker than most people realize?

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Yeah, because actually quicker than I even realized it was gonna happen. So, like I said, I've tried every diet, I've done everything, whether it's keto, Weight Watchers, the all carnivore diet. I've done so many crazy wacky things. But throughout all of them, it really was about restriction. Like, how low can I get my calories without like absolutely ruining my day, like how much weight can I lose in a week, you know, those all of those things. Um, so it was all about restriction. Uh, and it did not matter if you felt hungry, you needed to restrict as much as possible. Doesn't matter where you are in your cycle, calories in, calories out. What we hear all the time, right? But when we first started, and we know my timing's impeccable. Actually, we started like a week or two before I went on vacation, and as we know, we love our timing.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

I was like, Perfect timing though.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Yeah, and I said to you, I said, I'm really worried about this vacation. I don't think I'm gonna be able to track my food. Me thinking in that old mindset of like, I don't want to track every calorie I have on this trip, I don't want to like ruin this trip for me.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Were you tempted to pause the program or start afterwards?

unknown 16:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

And you were luckily, you were like, hey, this is the session schedule I have to stick to. I was like, noted, I will make this work. I'm gonna believe in the process. And and you actually, I know you knew I was nervous because you really like allayed my fears and you looked at some of the menus of places I was gonna be going, but you didn't tell me what to eat. You just pointed out and said, these are some really great options because they're a great protein, a great carb, and a great fat for you. And that kind of autonomy absolutely scared me to death, if I'm honest. I was like, I'm gonna go on this trip. I'm gonna eat so much junk, I'm gonna lose my mind. I'm gonna like before I had had a binge eating issue, right? I was like, well, this is my moment to eat, but I'm gonna eat it all. Right? But I went on this trip and I made a promise to myself that I was like, we're gonna give this the old college a try. We're going to get in there. Laura's laid it out that she's given you, you know, the autonomy to make choices with just the structure of like proteins, fats, and carbs. Just every meal had proteins, fats, and carbs. So I stuck to that and I had a great time. Like I had a great vacation. I didn't restrict myself at all. Um, I had, you know, a handful of evidence when I wanted to. I went out to eat with my family at the you know, Mexican restaurant in different places. And to me, the scale has always been the thing that's been the evidence. Um, although we've learned together that that's not actually the only evidence you have. Um it's a very biased evidence. Yeah, it's very black and white, and it doesn't take into a lot of things. But I was gonna get on the scale when I got home, and I was like, fantastic, this is my favorite thing. I know I've gained 20 pounds on this trip or whatever, and I got on the scale, and I I gained like two, three pounds, and that was from having the freedom of just eating what I wanted and not stressing about it. And I was like, maybe there is something. There's something here. There's some I was like, there's something here, the proof is in the pudding. Um and so that's when it really started to click, and luckily that was early on. Um, but I will say that the process was a lot of trust. Like I had to trust you that you knew what you were doing, and um, I had to also trust that I could do this on my my own too, because that's what we're working towards, right? So you know, but that was just the beginning of the journey. We're well, I don't even know how many weeks at this point we're in, we're on our third session, but um it's been like nine months, just about. And when I say I'm so far from that girl and and who she was with her restrictive mindset and counting every single calorie, um, I don't recognize her anymore. Yeah, which is fantastic because that means the growth has been exponential and so quick. And I thought it was gonna take, I was like, I'm gonna have to do this for three years. I don't even know if that's gonna be enough time. Yeah, look, I'm like, look at me now, look where we are.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Yeah, and I think that's what makes people procrastinate on starting their journey because we've been in the cycle for 20 years, 25 years, 30 years, and the feeling it it's almost unheard of to think we can break these cycles in 12 weeks, in 24 weeks, in 36 weeks. And you know, to your point, in your journey, there's a couple of things I'd like to dive a little bit into, a little bit more of the sciencey stuff, because we know I love my science and my wacky analogies. But the fear you had going into the holiday, that is a normal, very wired brain. But like we say, we're just like a mechanic, we're an electrical mechanic. Is there electrical mechanics? I don't know. But we're just like, yeah, I don't know. That's our hard mind, card number. Not our area. Not in our area, but it's like your brain's working so perfectly, but your old mechanic just wired it so efficiently in the wrong way. So we're just fixing a few wires, we're putting a few red and blues together, and we're just changing the wirings of your brain because what happens is before you go into the holiday, there's a part of the brain called the amygdala. And that part of the brain can only operate off past experiences. It has no capability to be in the present moment or think about the future. So it's got an association of holiday, binge eating, gain weight, and start again. So, of course, when you're presented with, oh, I'm going on holiday, your brain is automatically going to go, oh, eat everything I want, lose control, gain weight, binge, start again. So you've already got this anxiety and this negative association of the holiday, which should be so relaxing and you should come back refreshed and reset. But instead, we're anxious and tension and we're already fearing coming back and starting again. So this was a big part of our program as well at the start was to help you see your brain was just wired a certain way, and that was the first bit of evidence we gained to show the human brain, which is the opposite to the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex. Girl, you just did something different. We just started to rewire your brain. We got in there and we just plucked out some wires, and now we're rewiring. So that was for me the first. Bit of evidence when you came back, I was like, she did it, she's rewiring, and that is so powerful because you needed to believe that you could do it as well. And instead of me telling you what to do and eat, which would have led to you restricting and rebelling and possibly lying to me, you made all the choices, which is just so incredible. So steering into that, let's dive a little bit into kind of more the relationship with food because a big thing we've worked on together is balance. This beautiful word called balance, which part of me loves but part of me hates because it's I don't know if you feel this way, but I just feel like balance has become a ooh word that I'm like, it's so thrown around and balance. It's used for everything, but I don't think it's actually explained what balance is because we have this 80-20 rule, and that's just another rule. It's called the 80-20 rule, therefore, it's just another rule for us to then have to follow. So the work we did was actually relearning what balance is and relearning what balance is for you. So upon your journey, even learning how to eat out, there's a few different options that we provide where it's like, okay, we can decide, forecast for the week, and then decide: is this meal going to be a whole foods meal? Is it going to be an easy meal I can just break down into protein, fats, and carbs? Is it going to be a balanced meal between Whole Foods and Soul Foods? So maybe I have steak, sweet potato, and then some dessert and a drink afterwards? Or is it going to be spontaneous where it's like, we don't know. Or is it going to be option four, a soul food? Because you go into a burger joint, you're not going to be the girl that orders the salad at the burger joint anymore. So they were kind of like the options for us to allow ourselves to make decisions in terms of food choices and still allowing balance. But talk me through what you see as balance now and how you kind of go about creating balance in your week with meals cooked in, having meals out, socializing. What does that look like for you now versus before?

SPEAKER_01 24:15

That's a great question. So it's changed quite a bit. Um, you know, going back to the perfectionist mindset, I am a big planner and I love to like plan out my meals for the week and what is to be expected, right? Um, and especially when you are when you're dieting, okay. That is not what this is, but when you are dieting, um, that's how you're gonna you think you're gonna find success, right? I ate the salmon burger every night for dinner with the cup of rice and the vegetables, and that's like, yes, check it off.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

I your brain's clapping, your brain's going, yes, girl, you did it.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

You're like, yes, you hated every bite of it, but you did it. So that was kind of the the trend that I was in before. That was my healthy eating. Um, and if I had to like, if work ran late, or if my like partner wanted to switch it up for dinner, because like he's a human being and wants to do that sometimes, I would have like an internal panic a little bit um and be like, well, but that's not what that is not what I planned. Uh I don't know how many calories that is, I don't know how this gonna fit into the rest of my day, what if I'm hungry? Like, there were a lot of different questions that popped up, and not the thought of just like oh yeah, I might enjoy that food. Two, let's let's do that. Um and that was taking up a lot of my mental real estate. Like, if if I'm honest, I'm like the the amount that I was thinking about food and not in a productive way or like a fun way was ridiculous, and I did not realize it until we started to kind of rewire and unpack all of that. But now, cut to today. Um I am so fluid with it. I first of all will always make a menu because I like to cook, so I like to have that kind of planned out and all of that. But if it happens or if it doesn't, I think nothing about it anymore. All I know is I'm sticking to my pillars. I'm like, as long as I have a protein and a car and a fat, I said then I'm sure to feel full, and I am sure to be doing something good for my body. Um and even in moments where I'm doing more of a soul food meal than I am like a whole food meal. One of the really great things that you've taught me is like, yeah, you're having a soul food, but they're not bad. Like your macaroni and cheese that you love has protein in it, and it also has carbs. And those aren't bad things for your body, it's just experiencing them and eating them in a different way, and you need that, you need that as a human. Um, so now you know, my partner's like, hey, let's do burgers tonight instead. I'm like, fantastic. That is a protein, I'm gonna have a carb, and I will have vegetables on top of that burger, and it will be great. If I'm out and about with my girlfriends and we're, you know, like, hey, let's get lunch together, before I would panic and be like, I can't. I would take myself out of social situations altogether.

SPEAKER_00 27:19

Oh, that's me, my whole 20s, and I think so many women is like the amount and anyone listening, how many times do you say no and get anxiety when someone offers a social situation that's so prevalent?

SPEAKER_01 27:33

Yes, I would take myself out of social situations, and that's actually been one of the harder things to break, just as a side sidebar. One of the harder things to break, because uh you want that like success of like feeling like you're doing something good for your body, but you also don't realize that that time together with your friends is is sole food for your mind as well. So your heart, body, soul, it's all connected. So now you know my girlfriends are like, let's go get lunch, let's go to the winery, let's do whatever. I'm like, Yes, I say yes. If I have the time, say yes era. I'm in my say yes era, I'm in my soft body era. Um but uh that's where I am, like like eating in my meals. I'm very free, um, but I'm still seeing like the progress that I am aiming towards, and that is so motivating to have that freedom along with the progress.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Yep, and I I think that's just such a beautiful way, beautiful way to sum it up. And there's a word you used here called fluid, and I think that is such a beautiful word. I love the words fluid or flow better than rigid, strict, compliant. And one thing that we've really learned together about navigating in and out and navigating whole foods to soul foods and finding our balance is like a seesaw. There's been some weeks where we're like, you know what? I think I did have a little bit too more too much treats, and my body is actually saying, no, that was a bit about out of balance. So instead of resentment and shame, it was observation of okay, let's autocorrect. Let's find what is the balance where I can still have the whole foods, but I'm not getting the digestive issues or fatigue or lethargy from those type of foods. And I think that's a really big point where we can have soul foods because, as you said, there is still a protein, fats, and carbs, but yes, it might also have more additives, preservatives, pro-inflammatory ingredients and knowing that threshold for your body, because your body's different to my body, it's different to the next body. It's about knowing what is your threshold, and I feel like we have learned that now.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely learned that. Actually, as you were saying that, I was thinking about Thanksgiving because we again we talked a lot about not only my vacation but the holidays that we were going into. I remember specifically I told you, and it's like I had a piece of pecan pie and it sent me over the edge. I was like, it sent me over the edge. I was miserable afterwards. Um, but the the thing that you pointed out is like that's great, you learned something there. Yeah, and I was like, Oh, you know, that is true. Normally I would feel super shameful and oh my gosh, I can't believe I did that. I knew better than to do that, like I knew that was too many calories, or you know, so on and so forth. But you're like, no, you learned something, and I'll tell you what, I have not done that since so uh my body was like, Hey, that's not comfortable for us, and that made me learn a new boundary. So you learn things from these experiences that you think are are too shameful or too detrimental.

SPEAKER_00 30:39

Yeah, I think that's beautiful, and I love that you use the word boundary because it's like not discipline or compliance, like we just spoke about, but it's offering a soft boundary for your values, knowing I still can have these foods, but this is the boundary I'm putting in place because I actually like to feel good. And isn't this a funny thought? Food is meant to be something that makes us happy, gives us energy, makes us feel good. But then we eat to the point where it makes us miserable, and this is where whole food psychology comes into it because when we're eating to a point where food does the opposite and makes us feel worse, we need to question why? Why are we self-inflicting that into us? And this is where it's a lot of subconscious, and we've done so much work in your subconscious, like I am deep rooted in your subconscious brain. There's a little Laura in that subconscious because there's just so many of those aha moments where you're like, oh my god, that is why I do it. And a common one that did come up in your journey was I have to finish everything on the plate because that's task resolved, and that links into you know the mental health aspect of you know ADHD and just our upbringing. So there is a lot of it's not just black or white, be compliant, it's so many subconscious things at play as well.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Yeah, I and that is the thing, is and then I loved unpacking too, because I knew that there was a reason why I was doing the things I was doing, and um, you know, we already had that link of I I said it was like I had ADHD, um, I was diagnosed as an adult, but I'm still really learning about my mental space now that I have that kind of like link there. And uh and we did address, I said, I feel like I have to finish everything on my plate, even though nobody ever like my parents never like said you have to sit here and until you finish your things on your plate until you eat all your broccoli or anything like that. They never did that, and so I was like, I'm fine, this is fine, I'm just being a weirdo, I don't know what's wrong with me. And you were like, Yeah, but let's think about it further. Was there food insecurity in your home? Or was there food insecurity that you perceived that maybe it wasn't really there? Um, which I think we determined that I thought that maybe there was gonna be food insecurity because food is really expensive and we didn't have a ton of money, but we were fine. Um, or you know, that lack mindset. Uh I think oftentimes I have that lack mindset. So I really hate wasting food. We had many conversations about this. I have, of course, found a partner who does not feel the same way. So I I told you, I'm like, I'm always like, save your food, please. He listens now. I explained, I said, so let me see what I told him. I said, This is my problem, but please help. Um but what I figured out is like I just need to be okay with one taking leftovers home, whether we're out eating, that is okay. I don't have to finish everything on a plate. Um and even at home when I need food, you know, it can be saved. It can be put in the refrigerator, it can be frozen, and it's okay if it actually goes in the trash sometimes. There was that guilt that was associated with like somebody else doesn't have food. I do, I should save it. So removing that guilt again and the shame of not finishing that food has opened up a whole new world. The first time, do you do you remember the first time? I was like, I eat half of the Chipotle bowl.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

I was clapping so hard, so proud.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

I was like, I felt like I was in kindergarten. I was like, I've done the most simple thing any human could do.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

But for me, it was a big deal.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

Yeah, because we've never done that before. And I think that's just such a beautiful thing that so many women can resonate with with the whole polishing off our plate. And my history is my grandma used to make me cry until I finished everything on my plate. So mine was very, you're not leaving the table. God love Mimere, I adore you. But she was very, you're not getting off the table, even if you sat there crying. She did not care. But I think a lot of women can actually resonate for different reasons, whether that's scarcity, being told to eat everything, being told there's people in the third world country, or whatever it is how we grew up, there's different reasons why we finish everything on our plate and kind of disconnect from our kind of hunger and satiation cues. So I think that's a really powerful thing a lot of women are going to resonate too. I want to kind of sidestep a little bit now because we've spoken quite a bit about relationship with food and how far you have come with ending binge eating, ending emotional eating, ending all or nothing mindset, ending the perfectionist mindset, which is some serious work. And we did that pretty much within eight to 12 weeks. But I want to dive a little bit more into kind of hormones and health now because I think what can be confusing for a lot of people is they come to me and they have binge eating issues, challenges with food issues, so yo-yo dieting. They might have POS, they might have endometriosis, they might have thyroid, or all of the above, and they might have mental health issues, whether that's anxiety, ADHD, depression. So then it's like, okay, well, we have seven issues. Where do I start? And that is so overwhelming. And I think as a society, we see them all as separate issues. So I kind of want to dive into your journey, how we have worked together to really focus on the positive domino effect that's actually helped all the other hormonal issues without being like, well, here are some tablets for your PCOS, and here are some tablets for your ADHD, and here are some tablets for this, and here are some tablets for that. So can you talk us through a little bit about your journey with your health and whatever you're comfortable with and what that road has looked like for you?

SPEAKER_01 36:43

Well, it's been super windy, but I have learned a lot about myself. I'll say, and I'll start all the way back from the beginning, um, right before we met. Uh, I was struggling terribly with depression. So I was having a major depressive episode for about six months. Um, and unfortunately, I didn't realize that. I thought I was more or less just, oh, I got bummed out, and I just want to eat like some sugary snacks and like things like that. But the truth is that I was dealing with depression. Um, and uh right before I met you, that's when I was like, I had gained all the weight back that I had lost years prior. Um, I was feeling terrible about myself. I feel like I felt like I was dragging my body day to day. Um and I was just like, what do I do? Like, what do I do? But uh there is that ever so voice inside of me always saying, keep going. Just like keep going. It could be the faintest voice, but it's like keep going, whatever it is. Um, so I found myself talk to like a mental health professional because I said, Let's take care of that aspect. That is the biggest thing at the moment that's taking up the most space. Uh, and I was able to find a good balance for myself. Um, and it continues to be a good balance. It is not like a one-stop, oh my gosh, they gave me pills or they gave me this treatment or whatever, and it was fine. It was a process, it didn't happen overnight. So be patient with yourself if you're you're dealing with the same thing. Um, but that was when I was like, okay, I'm getting my mental health in order. My my body needs that same attention. They're both intertwined. We cannot separate them, they are one and the same. Um, and that's when I determined that again, I I wanted to meet with you after I heard that podcast, but also I had other things. I have many different health things, but I do have PCOS, so I do struggle with insulin resistance. Um, I've had high blood pressure for probably seven years now that's treated. Uh this past like year and a half. I found out that I have hypothyroidism, so my thyroid is a little slow. She's a little slow. She needs a little love. She needs a little love. Uh, you know, so there's that. Um, and I also have some just like digestive issues. Uh, I mean, we've talked a lot about that. I've had some gallstones and things like that, but very common things that a lot of people deal with. Um, but a lot of us either just, like you said, take take a tablet and ignore it, and it's fine, take a little box, everything's fine. Um, but that's not kind of how I wanted to live my life. I was like, if I can get my body in a place that is healthier, I think I'm gonna have more benefits of either like coming off of these medications or trying to find more natural ways to accomplish the same things, which we are working on now too. Um, but it's finding that balance, and it was it was finding that balance. I will say this you know, because I've shared these things, I go to the doctor very often to check levels and to have blood's drawn and things like that. Um, and before I started, uh I was definitely pre-diabetic, and I had um uh slightly high cholesterol too. Um and in the time that we work together, I am not pre-diabetic at all. Um, I'm actually well below, so we're in a really great place. This makes me so happy. I mean too. It makes my body happy. Um, but my cholesterol has dropped. Um, I've shared with you that my mom's side of the family, including my mother, has heart disease. Um, so that's something I'm very, very aware of. And I want to do everything I can to try and combat my genetics because we know the genetics are the way they are, but I can try and work on myself. Um, so all of the things we've been doing have been helping with not just, you know, the bottom line of like this is what the scale says, but the blood work and and all of that. Also, my thyroid has really evened out. My hormones are chef's kiss, beautiful, they are great. Um, uh my so happy.

SPEAKER_00 41:08

Oh my god, we love a healthy cycle, we love hormones being healthy.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

I know. I never really thought that like as a woman I'd be able because nobody loves their period, if we're really honest, but um, I'm like fantastic. She showed up this month. We love it. Um, because the PCOS would make it very unpredictable. Um, and even with I mean, on birth control or off birth control, the period would be all over the place. Uh, it's like clockwork now. Actually, I I will literally um scared message you if it's like a day early or a day late now, which is not and she's and you're like, did you count correctly? Are you sure?

SPEAKER_00 41:53

Or do we do we just need to just chill a little bit? Just let it do what she needs to do.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

I'm like, I've only had a cycle for 20 years at this point, so what do I want, you know, what what should I know? Um, but all of these things have been a process and in my journey and finding the right solutions. Um, but I'm I'm seeing a lot of light on the path that I'm on right now, and I know you can see that as well, but it's not just like I'm a more positive person and I, you know, have dropped some weight, but like the internal things going on are evening themselves out, um, which make a huge difference and a positive impact on my day-to-day. I love this so much.

SPEAKER_00 42:37

And you know, one thing you said there that we we haven't spoken about, which most coaches would have said in the opening statements meet my client, she's lost 18 to 20 kilos, which in pounds is I don't know. 30 pounds? I'm not too sure. Whatever. We we honestly just stop counting with that. Yeah, but that has simply been a byproduct. So the byproduct, and there's two things I wanted to bring up here when we discuss weight, which for anyone listening, weight can be triggering. So just listen to this next little segment with very a lot of sensitivity and understanding. And if it's too much for you, please just skip forward. But I think a big thing is when we do go to the doctors, which can I say yes, we need doctors and the medical world. I think there's a big disconnect. We do need them, but it's about knowing what we can do ourselves, how can we feel empowered to feel in control, know what questions to ask, and know the gaps we can fill in. I think that's the most important. I like to empower clients to feel in control when they go to the GPs because it can be very off putting and you can leave feeling not seen and not heard and very pigeonholed. And a lot of the solutions are you need to lose weight. But then there's no guidance in terms of how to, and that leads us going to do something amazing for our health, then leaving the clinic. And searching diet culture. So we've gone to do this amazing thing I'm gonna work on my health. I'm gonna go get everything I need to do because I really want to feel healthy. And then we leave trying to find ways to lose weight, and here we are down the rabbit hole of diet culture back into restriction. Did you feel that in your journey? And how different is that now?

SPEAKER_01 44:20

Yeah, so as I was on the mental health journey too, I did talk to my GP because I was like, I'm so frustrated. I am so frustrated by my weight. Like, I feel like I've done everything. What do I do? You know, and like you're the professional here. What do I do? What what's wrong? What's wrong with me? And I love my doctor. She absolutely understands, you know, where I was and where I've been, and she's super supportive. And she does a lot of weight loss studies herself, but it's very black and white. We're just leave it at that. And she said, Well, here are your two options that you haven't tried. And she said, You can either go on a semaglutide, which is known currently as either Ozophic or Trisepatide or Manjaro. And she's like, This is gonna cost you. It's gonna be like a thousand dollars a month. Um she said, or you can have bariatric surgery. Uh, and I, you know, I asked all the typical questions, you know, like if I'm on a semaglutide, do I have to do that for the rest of my life? What does that look like long term? Um, bariatric surgery was permanent. Uh, you know, it was there were different options. There was like an option to just have uh the balloon around the stomach to help restrict, or to do like a sleeve where they actually physically remove part of your stomach. And I was at that point where I was so desperate that I almost would do anything at that point. Um, thankfully, actually, my partner was the one who said, no, before we go and spend a thousand dollars a month on a drug you're gonna have to take for the rest of your life, or you know, permanently like permanently change your insides. I was like, maybe let's just stop and and consider things first. And that's partially why I love him because he's highly logical, and I am sometimes a little emotional being.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

But two beautiful opposites make the perfect being exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Um, so really glad that he basically said, hey, let's stop, let's slow down. Because I was ready to go ahead and do the semiglutide because I didn't like the idea of surgery, like I just didn't want to do that. That was like my last, last, last thing on the list. But I was like, I can make more money, I can pay for the semiglutide. I said, but I'm gonna have to be on it forever. And there's side effects sometimes, like maybe you feel sick, maybe you know, you can't eat at all, so you're not even getting the nutrients you need. Um so that's where I was right before I I met you. Um, and it wasn't that I didn't feel heard at my doctor, I think she heard me. I don't know that she had the tools to help me outside of the medical realm, right? Which I'm asking a doctor who's a medical professional to help me out outside of that. She just didn't have that kind of um expertise, but yeah, that is why we're so grateful for people like you who do have that expertise. Um but that's kind of how that's how I felt at least with my doctor, and um actually she I don't know if I've ever told you this, but she will check in from time to time, we will chit-chat. Um I love her and she love her. I love her. Like I said, she's great. Um, and I told her obviously about this program. I said, listen, I'm not gonna do the semaglutiad, I'm not gonna do the BRH surgery, I'm gonna work with this woman every year for a while and see how it goes. Um and again, speaking of weight, uh in pounds, um, I've lost about 70 pounds since June of last year. Wow. Um yeah, you don't need the conversion for that. That is still a lot of weight. Yeah. And she's really impressed from a scientific point of things because she's like, How did you do that? I said, Well, where do I start? I can't explain this whole process, but uh she's really impressed with the way that this has been approached and how much success I've found just as far as numbers, which is not what I'm focused on.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 48:42

Um, but it says to me that there's more in the medical realm that we need to be discussing. Um, yeah. So anyway, long story short, that's kind of where I am.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

I love the way you explain that because I feel like some people don't feel like they're seen or heard and pigeonholed. But in your case, I love that you were able to clarify I was heard. My GP was hearing me, but there was a bit of missing information that couldn't offer more options, and I think that's beautiful. And I've just done the conversion. Australian girls, that's 30 nearly 32 kilos. That is incredible to think we have not even dieted and lost 32 kilos, just simply a byproduct of really working on health and hormones and behaviour with food, so which is incredible. So we're gonna go down another track to finish up our first episode, and I say first because I know you're gonna be a recurring guest here. But can we please everyone?

SPEAKER_01 49:41

I will be here.

SPEAKER_00 49:43

She is a reoccurring character, can we please say? So get to know her because you will fall in love and want her back. But two characters I just want to introduce is Darla and Dr. Shepherd. Can you please tell us who is Darla and Dr. Shepherd?

SPEAKER_01 50:00

First of all, Darla is my monkey mind. I named her because I felt like she had her own personality and she needed to be recognized. Uh, Darla. I will say, I don't think I ever told you where the inspiration came from. But if you ever watch Finding Emo, the little girl with the braces.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Is that where she comes from? That is so funny. I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 50:21

That character is so freaking annoying, and I was like, that is my monkey. I was like, Darla is my monkey. Um, although I love her now. She has her diets, but I love her. Um, but Darla is my monkey mind. I give her her own separate character to kind of keep her separate from me, um, so that I don't associate like being broken or thinking I'm going crazy or anything like that. I'm like, oh Darla. Girl, stop that. I'm a Darla. Um I love also Dr. Shepherd. If you're a Grease Anatomy fan, which if you're not, get into it. You there's plenty of seasons for you to watch. Get into it, start binging it. We both love Grey's Anatomy, but my partner's name is Derek, and it's Laura was like, oh, it's Derek Shepard from Lake Grease Anatomy. And I was like, I mean, yeah, exactly like that. Spelled exactly the same. So now we just call him Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Shepherd. Um, I love it. Earned his doctorate and he has no idea.

SPEAKER_00 51:16

So he doesn't know the character we've made for him, but he's a big part of our journey.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

And what I think is it is a big part, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

Exactly. What I think is so beautiful about these two characters is Dala is her monkey mind. For anyone listening, that is the negative voice in our head. It runs through the amygdala, which is fear-based, it's constant negativity, it's not a rational, it's that little voice that makes you feel like you're broken, you're helpless. And so we really need to introduce another character called the human mind, and that's why we've created a bit of an internal separation with the voices. I know it makes us sound crazy, but we have separate voices. And you know, Dr. Shepherd is another big part, and we'll probably dive into this on another episode, but we'll quickly dive into it now. But what's really important is how much this journey has helped you beyond health. And this isn't just with your partner, Dr. Shepherd, but also work and becoming a leader and all the other extracurricular activities and social life. And I think this is something kind of what I wanted to end on is the impact beyond health. If we could quickly just dive into how has it trickled into other areas of your life?

SPEAKER_01 52:34

This is the really awesome part. Every, like you said, everything else aside, numbers, weight on a scale, test results, all of that stuff. That is all great. Um, but my life as a whole, right? We can't separate these things out. Uh, it has changed how I am as a partner. Um I don't think I was a bad partner before, but I think when you're in a relationship, sometimes you can really get caught up in the like minutiae of like, you didn't take the trash out, I don't like the way you pull the gloves. Why are you bugging me about the grass, you know, in our lawn or whatever? Um and we internalize some of those things, and we don't we don't have enough mental real estate to see outside of that. And this, like I said, has cleared my mental real estate so much, and now I something that maybe like we didn't agree on before, or I thought was like, why are we talking about this again? Like, I don't care about the law, I'm sorry. Um, now I realize that he has his own monkey mind. Yeah, he has his own human mind. Um I call his monkey mind Daryl. Uh Darler and Daryl. Yeah, Darling and Daryl, quite a pair. Um but he has his own, so so seeing it from that lens has changed how I react as a partner. Um, it's made me less reactionary, it's made me more of a listener. Like before I was I was performatively listening. I don't know if anybody else has done that, where you're like, I hear you, yeah. But in the back of my mind, I'm like, oh my god, what's going on? Like, how are we gonna figure this out? Like, what are we gonna do? Blah blah blah. And now I am able to actually focus and say, let me hear what you're saying, and then we will react accordingly. Um because actually, this is funny, and I'll tell it on myself. Uh, sometimes if I like would get overwhelmed in our conversations and I would cry, and I don't like to cry, but Dr. Sherber did mention the other day, he's like, you know, we had this conversation, and I feel like this would have made you cry before. And I said, I know, I know. Uh, I'm able to control Darla now, so um I'm able to actually hear you and listen, and he was like, Wow, that is amazing. So that's that's one of the major things, and we can talk about relationship on a whole different episode. That's an episode of I think it is because we have great conversations around that all the time, but that's a large one, and then also at work, too. I mean, I am an HR professional, like I mentioned, and I am the only HR person in my company. I work directly with the executives about making really tough decisions. Um, you know, there's a lot going on in America right now, and I work in the federal sector, so there's a lot of hard choices that are having to be made right now that no one wants to make. Okay. Um, but I'm able to help the most because I'm able to control that monkey mindset. Uh, I'm able to pick out when other people are not able to control their monkey mindset and say, okay, that person's not in control of that. This is how I can counterbalance those things. And also, I mean, like just growing in my career, I have some really great opportunities that may be coming up, and those are only because I've been able to have that mindset of abundance and really put that into practice. Um, that I have those opportunities. I'm not creating obstacles for myself. So there's a lot of wonderful things coming down the road that we'll get to talk about, but uh it's all because of the work we've been doing.

SPEAKER_00 56:20

I love that, and I feel like that next episode is gonna be so juicy because we always say that I don't specialize in dating, I'm not a dating coach, but the work we do in our mindset and our self-worth and our thoughts and our belief system, and even your example of not crying anymore is an example of your nervous system being regulated because our body will cry when our nervous system is heightened. So the fact that we can have a conversation without crying is a sign, and even me, this is me coaching you right now, I'm like, that is a sign that our nervous system is being regulated. So the next episode will definitely be juicy because I am more than happy to share details and gossip of my relationship and how much my work on myself has helped. But this has been such a beautiful episode because we have spoken about so many things that are gonna help with so many women. So I know women struggle with binge eating, emotional eating, yo-yo dieting, but then they also struggle with hormonal conditions, which might be thyroid or POCOS or endometriosis, but then also the mental health side, which could be depression or ADHD or chronic anxiety, but then also losing weight. So I feel like, and this is why you are such an amazing global ambassador for the healthy eating revolution, because your story and journey just helps so many women feel like if she can do it, I can do it too. And as I said to sum up the first thing that we said on the podcast, you were listening to a podcast and was like, if she could do it, I can do it. And now here you are, and I really hope women listening can feel that too. So, final question for you before we wrap up. If you could go back to the version of yourself who felt helpless or stuck thinking about there's so many women who feel like that, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 58:20

I would really say to them, what would you say to your closest and dearest friend if they came to you and said, listen, I am in this stuck in this rut. I've tried a hundred million things to try and fix this. I just want to give up. Um you would never let them give up on themselves. So don't ever give up on yourself. No one's saying it's gonna be easy, no one's saying you're gonna find the solutions right away. Uh, but at the end of the day, you have to keep your worth in mind. Um, you I Laura, I've told you that like now I really consider myself my best friend as well. I didn't as my worst enemy before.

SPEAKER_00 59:04

Uh, but I treat myself that makes me emotional hearing that every time you say that. It makes me so emotional. Really, it does.

SPEAKER_01 59:12

I just make Laura cry all the time, doesn't it? She really does. I do, I do. Um she's probably like, don't talk to me, you're gonna make me cry. Uh, but really, I mean, I'd say, what would you say to your best friend in the whole world? Um, because you deserve that kind of love too. Uh, did I love myself when I was in that really deep dark place of I I don't know what to do, I have gained so much weight, this is net like I can never change. It was tough. But if you just have like the faith, the tiniest little faith, that someday, somehow, that can change. And we're not talking about your dream beach body, we're not talking about any of that, but just like a little bit of change. You're gonna take that and fly with it. So um, there are answers, and and we're here to provide those. So that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:08

I love that so much. So, if anyone's listening, I hope this episode has really helped you feel less alone. You had the Aha Me Too moments and you really resonated with Rach. And she's gonna, if you have any questions you would like to ask her, we will definitely bring her back on and she can dive deep into answering those questions from a real life person who's done the real life work and the real life change and not just hearing it from a coach that preaches, because I live the lifestyle that everything you do, I'm like, here's a story that happened to me yesterday about my nervous system being heightened. Here's a story about me today of my monkey mind. So, but I think sometimes we seek inspiration from coaches, but I think hearing it from real people that are doing the work can really hit home a lot more because it's more relatable. So if you have any questions for Rach, please send them through and we will be bringing her back on. So thank you so much for joining us. Of course, we've spoken for more than an hour. I would not expect anything less, but we so appreciate you. We cannot wait for you to be a reaturning, a reatern reaturning, a returning character on this podcast. So you're definitely gonna be a special guest. Um, anything else you want to say before we finish up?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:23

First of all, thank you for having me. Of course, I will chat with you any moment of any day if I have the chance. Actually, my day is not complete if you don't hear me yapping. Um, but yeah, absolutely. I would love to hear other people's questions. You know, anybody's seeking advice, anything like that. I'm also out on social media as well. You can find me, we'll point you in that direction. But um, I'm definitely here to be a global ambassador, especially to my US ladies. I would love to have more US ladies part of the HER collective. So uh yeah, join us for the journey. It's kind of exciting.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:00

Oh, I cannot wait. So stay tuned for our next episode, and thank you so much for joining us. So, grab a coffee, go for a walk, and I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Until next time, we'll see you soon. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Coffee with Her. This episode is brought to you by the On the Go with Her app, your hub, for nutrition, training, and mindset tools made for women like you on the go. Connect with us on Instagram at her collective underscore the app or visit hercollective.au. If this resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review, and hit subscribe. It means the world to us and keeps us creating. Until next time, take care of you.