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Get Your Shit Together

Love Day: How to Show Up for Your Body When You’re Not Feeling Yourself

February 14, 2023 Adina Rubin Season 3 Episode 76
Love Day: How to Show Up for Your Body When You’re Not Feeling Yourself
Get Your Shit Together
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Get Your Shit Together
Love Day: How to Show Up for Your Body When You’re Not Feeling Yourself
Feb 14, 2023 Season 3 Episode 76
Adina Rubin

In this episode of Get Your Shit Together we chat about:

🧡 Our confidence journeys and what helped us through tough seasons

🧡 Ways to celebrate yourself through postpartum, healing phase, weight gain

🧡 Setting process or ability goals vs. aesthetic goals

🧡 What & who to mute, block, delete


Episode Show Notes: www.getyourshittogetherpod.com/podcast/episode76


Follow us on Instagram @getyourshittogetherpod 


Connect with Diane:

Instagram: @dianeteall

Website: www.diteawellness.com

Enroll in Root Cause Reset Course (self-study): www.rcrprogram.com 


Connect with Adina:

Instagram: @adinarubin_ 

Website: www.adinarubincoaching.com

Enroll in self-paced Strength Training for Happy Hormones (STHH)


Apple Podcasts Spotify Overcast Stitcher Castro Castbox +
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode of Get Your Shit Together we chat about:

🧡 Our confidence journeys and what helped us through tough seasons

🧡 Ways to celebrate yourself through postpartum, healing phase, weight gain

🧡 Setting process or ability goals vs. aesthetic goals

🧡 What & who to mute, block, delete


Episode Show Notes: www.getyourshittogetherpod.com/podcast/episode76


Follow us on Instagram @getyourshittogetherpod 


Connect with Diane:

Instagram: @dianeteall

Website: www.diteawellness.com

Enroll in Root Cause Reset Course (self-study): www.rcrprogram.com 


Connect with Adina:

Instagram: @adinarubin_ 

Website: www.adinarubincoaching.com

Enroll in self-paced Strength Training for Happy Hormones (STHH)


Diane:

Hey, babies.

Adina:

Hey

Diane:

happy Valentine's Day.

Adina:

Oh, happy Valentine's Day,

Diane:

It's all our gals and pals.

Adina:

There's you know, I've told you that my kids watch, Daniel Tiger's neighborhood, that show,

Diane:

Yep. Yep.

Adina:

it's like the Mr. Rogers spinoff, and I didn't notice this at the time, but it's like non-denominational. But all the holidays are super, like American Christian holidays. They just like call them a different name to pretend they're non-denominational

Diane:

an example? Like Christmas for example,

Adina:

Christmas is called like Snowflake Day, but it's like they get presents and then like,

Diane:

there's a tree.

Adina:

yeah.

Diane:

It's kind of what they do in Animal Crossing. I don't know if any of our listeners play that game on Nintendo Switch, but it's like the Coziest game where you're like, Gardening and stuff, but like, there are, there are holidays and it's present day.

Adina:

Yeah, no, this one's Snowflake day. But I thought of it because the Valentine's Day one is love day. Um, yeah, it's like, thank you day and like it's just like they're very American and Christian

Diane:

is Thank you. Day Thanksgiving.

Adina:

Yeah,

Diane:

Thanksgiving,

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

happy Valentine's everyone. Um, I am gonna share some funny Valentine's cards and memes. Neil and I were like, remember in elementary school when you would go and pick out like your theme, your favorite little cards, and then like cut them up and then give them to people in your class. Did you remember doing that? Did you ever do that?

Adina:

I did not, cuz it was like, like my parents were adamant about like, it's a Christian holiday, it's about St. Valentine

Diane:

oh, it is, it is a Christian holiday,

Adina:

It became hallmarky, but like,

Diane:

Oh,

Adina:

There's plenty of Jews who celebrated as just like a

Diane:

right. It's just a fun

Adina:

But yeah. Um, yeah. And the only thing that plays in my head whenever I think of Valentine's Day, cuz it's never really been a part of my life, is that 30 Rock episode with that like, um, you know that character when she's like, ha Valentine's

Diane:

Well I was thinking of her eating like the big chocolate man. Wasn't like a chocolate. Some, some kind of weird play on like a chocolate bunny.

Adina:

I don't remember now, but I just

Diane:

it might not have even been a Valentine's thing in. Just some weird bit. They did.

Adina:

Yeah, there's a character, I think Rachel, Dr. Plays her and she's like, maybe she's a sex worker and she like tries to sleep with Alec Baldwin or something and she just keeps saying, happy Valentine's. I'm a clip it out

Diane:

That's great. So you and Donnie don't do like, well, Valentine's date's, love dates.

Adina:

Yeah. No, it's never really been a part of. thing. I mean, my birthday's in the beginning of February, so like we kind of already, we have a celebration in the beginning of

Diane:

Which by the way, you're so low key about it.

Adina:

so

Diane:

so. Whereas I'm like, it is my month, all month long, and you put it like it was small text on your store and you're like, oh. And it's my birthday. Like a, by the way, it's my birthday February 6th, everyone. Happy

Adina:

Yeah, thank you. I was in a weird mood on my birthday, like it was, the weather was treacherous here. And so usually I like to spend my birthday outdoors doing something active. Like that's what makes me happy. So if you guys remember my 30th birthday, Donnie surprised me with a trip to Puerto Rico for a kettlebell certification. And that was like,

Diane:

So

Adina:

was the epitome, like let me be in the sunshine and just like swinging some kettlebells. And then last year on my birthday, we went on a gorgeous winter hike and that was like, So lovely. And we were gonna go stand up paddle boarding for my birthday, but then the week of my birthday, the weather was just rain and cats and dogs. So

Diane:

You end up surfing.

Adina:

yeah, no, we ended up just, um, we did a lovely seafood dinner and this restaurant right near us and it was delicious. So delicious.

Diane:

Good. So you had a little date and you went to the spa.

Adina:

Yes, I did. That was nice. Just a little me time, you know.

Diane:

Yay. Then the sauna. Well, happy belated. I fit my planner. I don't know why I was thinking it was in April.

Adina:

Do I seem like someone whose birthday is in April?

Diane:

you're in a, I think you're in Aquarius now. I need to see the rest of your the rest of your chart. I don't know how, I don't have that in my planner, but.

Adina:

Serious.

Diane:

Yeah. Happy Valentine's everyone. We don't do anything. Our wedding anniversary is coming up on the 18th, our sixth wedding anniversary. And as Miley says, I can buy myself my flowers. have you seen those meetings? Like, I hope that all of you are, uh, buying your own flowers after singing about it for a few weeks. I

Adina:

Oh, I want someone to buy me flowers. Donnie actually got me some beautiful sunflowers for my birthday too, which are just like so cheery and lovely on, especially when it was just that rainy week.

Diane:

I love it. I can buy my own, but I also love getting flowers, so yes. I will take it all. Um, so what have you been consuming over there? You had some good seafood, anything You're whipping up

Adina:

Should I tell you the menu items just in case you wanna go to this restaurant together next week. By the way, guys, Diane is coming to my house in like two days,

Diane:

So I'll, I will actually be there when this airs. Almost. Almost.

Adina:

a few hours after this airs.

Diane:

Yeah. The time change gonna fuck me up.

Adina:

You'll be okay. My kids will wake you up bright and early and get you on a good schedule.

Diane:

Put my feet in the sand. Yeah, so the menu at this restaurant and at Casa Ruben, I'm excited.

Adina:

yeah. So the high, the menu highlights were a red snapper carpaccio with like jalapeno and toasted pines. Mm. So good.

Diane:

Okay.

Adina:

And then we had a sea bass tartar, which was really yummy as well.

Diane:

So you had, wait, AKAO, so you had ceviche basically. When is it ceviche and when is it a carpa or tartar? I think that's with like beefs,

Adina:

Great question.

Diane:

I'm pretty sure. Ceviche, whatever. You had some raw seafood,

Adina:

Yeah, lots of raw fish. And then the mains were good. It was like I had like a beautiful sea bass filet, Donnie eight grouper, like a grouper skewer. But here's my thing. I prefer raw seafood to cooked seafood.

Diane:

Interesting.

Adina:

alone in that?

Diane:

I love it all. I want some sous. In fact, Neil was like looking at some reservations that we might make for our anniversary over there and he was like, the sushi places look good when you're by all that water

Adina:

Sushi's pretty expensive here, but yeah, it is. I mean, the water, the fish in the water. So good.

Diane:

So deep

Adina:

So good

Diane:

So that sounds delightful. You also wrote something here that, uh, I'm gonna need in and around my mouth.

Adina:

Yeah. Actually we ate this tonight and Donnie said this is the best dinner I've ever made,

Diane:

Wow.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

Wow.

Adina:

Okay. Here's what's so delicious about this dinner. I didn't take any shortcuts. Okay.

Diane:

No shortcuts on these short ribs.

Adina:

No shortcuts on his short ribs. I.

Diane:

and tendee.

Adina:

I made short ribs. I browned the shit out of them on all sides. Okay, so that's like six sides, eight sides, however many sides to this cube of short rib. I got the flavor so deep on that browning,

Diane:

oh yeah.

Adina:

and then into the pan. I took the short herbs out of the pan, put into the pan. Tons of onions, carrots, garlic

Diane:

Is this a Dutch avi, or what

Adina:

Yeah, Dutch heavy

Diane:

mm-hmm.

Adina:

apples. Red wine cooked down the red wine, added some broth, put the short ribs back in and just let them take a little tub in there for like two and a half hours.

Diane:

A little Simi. Are you free styling or is this a recipe?

Adina:

free styling,

Diane:

Ugh.

Adina:

wine, braised short ribs. So good. And then. that was, I made them for Friday night, but we had a ton of leftovers and so I heated them back up tonight. And then I made mashed potatoes in the Instant Pot, just broth, potatoes, salt and pepper. Really simple.

Diane:

Oh,

Adina:

Mashed'em on up. If you wanna do mashed potatoes in your instant pot, just like cube up the potatoes, put them in cold water or

Diane:

I love it. This is like a cooking instruction

Adina:

by step And I just put them in the instant pot on on steam for like 10 minutes.

Diane:

never made mashed potatoe in there.

Adina:

It was so quick. It was so quick, so quick. And then just mashed them up. And I just put these short ribs onto a bed of mashed potatoes.

Diane:

Mm. Tuck'em in. Tuck'em in. Smash. Oh, short ribs are so good because they do require time. Like you need to know, you need to set aside time for them to really let those flavors develop. Right. But they're otherwise pretty forget. Like you just slather'em with some acid and some other like aromatics and they just do the work for you. That nice fatty meat. Oh my god, that sounds so good.

Adina:

Yeah. As long as you have the technique down for cooking short ribs, like you can't mess them up.

Diane:

Yeah, the browning is key. Well, on the other side over here, I'm on the short. I've been making some short, quick, fast and easy but delicious meals. I've been really into a lot of like Asian recipes this week and we just happen to have a lot of like cucumbers to get rid of Bach choy. I forgot how much I love Bach choy and it's so huge but really cooks down nice and I just like the different textures lately. So I did a honey glazed salmon and I've also been playing around with techniques with cooking in my uh, stainless steel pans. Because I know that I used to be intimidated by them and they still kind of intimidate me a bit. They can get to like a non-stick quality. And so if you're someone who's like, no, I only use my non-stick. Or You're always pan, you're always pan. Cannot hang with high heat, first of all. Um, but it's a matter of like waiting for it to heat up. Right. And I did a meat, a honey glazed salmon, and I love getting crispy skin on there and just pouring in the sauce and letting that reduce and get to like this sticky sweet like garlicy flavor. And then I did a little cucumber salad with some Korean chili flakes. I love cucumber salad. I know it's not like necessarily in season, but we we're just doing a fridge clean out before our

Adina:

we have a lot of, we have a lot of cubes going here too, and I love the combination of cucumber and spice, so that sounds really Emmy.

Diane:

And I put some Nori Flakes on it. Uh, if you have a Trader Joe's near you, they're for a ca blend. It's like little dried nori, little seaweed flakes with sesame, and I think there's a little salt in there, maybe some other spices. But it's pretty simple and it's, it's a big shaker, like I like a nice size. So that's what's been going down like really easy stuff because I've been working, it was a busy week before, um, before we're away for a little bit. Um, reading all that stuff that I'd rather do instead of like long hours in the kitchen. So that's what's going down. And then as far as media that we're consuming, I actually am dabbling with something a little bit scary, and I'm doing it for our guy, Pedro Pascal. he's having a moment. I mean, from, was it Mandalorian? Um, and he's been in Game of Thrones to now the Last of Us, which is a series on H B O based on a very popular video game. Uh, so some friends play that my dad even played. I skipped it because I don't typically do zombies. I can kind of watch it sometime, like the slow zombies that you can hear creeping up. These are runners, these are runner zombies.

Adina:

I feel like you watched a show about Sprinter zombies last year, and I was like, can your nervous system hang with that?

Diane:

Oh, barely. I mean, I watched it and then I watched The Bachelor afterwards to really Cool

Adina:

down.

Diane:

Mm-hmm. a little cool down. And then, um, I just look at like quilting inspiration when it starts to get scary. But in this one, the premise is there's like this cor decept, there's this, this mushroom that is taking over bodies, basically. And I learned this. fun, not so fun slash scary fact through TikTok, of course, that there is some kind of fungus that takes over ants somewhere, probably Costa Rica or Australia where all the scary like animals are and it basically takes over the body, but leaves the host's brain intact. So

Adina:

Ugh. I hate it.

Diane:

so I'd almost rather be like one of these last of us zombies, to be honest. Like, I don't wanna know a munch in on

Adina:

watching it too. And he said the graphics are delightful.

Diane:

very good. They're very good. And um, there's a little, a little gal from Game of Thrones who I guess is actually the actress is 19, but she's playing like a 12 year old, which she's got some range, you know, you know, um, and love Pedro Pascal. I just, I think he's just the cutest and his little videos are like, of red carpet interviews. So funny. He's like really playing into everyone, calling him like, daddy star Wars daddy or something. But enjoying that and, um, You know my trash bachelor show. I know some of y'all listen, so let me know what you think of the season of my dms.

Adina:

Nice. Um, yeah, we're not watching anything because as I mentioned on the last few episodes, we have been deep in an American's rewatch and we're currently in season six of the Americans. We literally watched six seasons of the Americans in the last few weeks.

Diane:

that's impressive

Adina:

Really impressive. And it's even better than I remembered. I think season six of the Americans is the best season to ever have been on television

Diane:

of any show. Whoa,

Adina:

any show. And if you are a person who started the Americans and you bowed out, for example, Diane,

Diane:

for example. Me.

Adina:

you need to make it to season six season if the payoff is all so worth it.

Diane:

That's a big claim from someone who hasn't watched Breaking Bad or All of Mad Men

Adina:

Okay. it's fine. I'm

Diane:

I might pick it back up. Maybe I can download it for the plane because I'm gonna have like 10

Adina:

yes, you've got time on your

Diane:

10 hours. I'm someone. Okay. How do y'all like to travel? Because I love, I love having so much in flight or in travel entertainment. I act like I'm gonna be gone like on the Oregon Trail Board or worried about being bored for like weeks, right? So I have at least a few books. I'll have a physical book, I'm bringing a library book, and Kendall I'll have access to Neil's Nintendo Switch so I can play video games. I'll have the in-flight little tv because Delta Best Airline only way go. They get it, they get you those new releases. And then I'll usually bring like my planner to jam on, maybe do some writing or drawing draw rank.

Adina:

The drought rang.

Diane:

My mother-in-law was like, do you wanna bring like a quilt that I was finishing up like from class? Like, do you wanna bring that and like bind that on the plane? I was like, that could be a nice little lap quilt moment. But I don't know if I would be working on that.

Adina:

Yeah, I learned actually, you can't bring anything sharp on a plane except for like knitting needles or like quilting.

Diane:

and like knitting needles that could do some damage.

Adina:

you could take an eye out.

Diane:

I mean, I'm thinking of all these things now that I'm watching a zombie show, like how savvy I'd have to be. And I had a dream that I was in Costco gathering supplies and the zombies made it to the Costco and I was like scaling the shelves. Yeah.

Adina:

coming up in your nightmares, you should stop watching it.

Diane:

The last thing I do have to tell you about is who Magic Mic. The final installment of Magic Mic, I think. Say the last end. No, that's not it. Whatever.

Adina:

a different thing from the

Diane:

That's a different thing. The final,

Adina:

What year was that movie?

Diane:

we're gonna look up, you're gonna hear my click Clicky. Yeah, that's, that was something else. But it was very dancey as the name

Adina:

an assistant to like look these things

Diane:

Doug. Doug. No, it's Magic. Mike's last dance. So I was close, um, I watched Magic Mike one and Magic Mike X xl. This past weekend is pallet cleansers

Adina:

in preparation.

Diane:

the last of us. Yeah. And the second one, it was very like, here's just this group of, it was like, what is just male stripper movies? That Top Gun is like, you know, it was just a bunch of pals and having fun and I don't really know. There was kind of like a story, but it's just a star stud Catholic, childish Gambino was in the last one. He's here singing for a minute. Someone's

Adina:

tell you about the song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Fit Hot Guys have problems too.

Diane:

No

Adina:

It's hilarious. It's basically like a spoof of those magic mic style things. It's like a strip tea. It's a male strip tease number, but they're, they're sobbing in the song and it's like, fit hot guys have problems too. and they're like hysterically sobbing while they're stripping. It's so funny.

Diane:

they have hot privilege. Hot privilege, and They still have problems too.

Adina:

it's so

Diane:

To see that.

Adina:

All right. Should we get into it?

Diane:

yeah. Yeah. Let's, let's do it. What are we talking about for this? Valentine's? Valentine's.

Adina:

All right. So we wanted to chat a little bit about love, but specifically self-love. And in our last Valentine's Day episode, we talked about self-love through cycle sinking. So I would go back and listen to that one, cuz that was a great episode too. If you need a little hug. Um, all about just like ways that we can find appreciation. In our bodies, no matter what season we are in, no matter what season of life we're in, no matter what season of our bodies we're in. And we've had this conversation in snippets in various other episodes where we talked a little bit about body neutrality, where we talked a little bit about whether or not we should be training for aesthetics, whether or not we're in an appropriate place in our health to be doing so, and just the general feeling in society around how we should feel about our bodies. And so if you are a woman who grew up in the nineties, there's a good chance that you have been on a journey with your body. And we hear it from so many of our clients. We hear it from so many of our listeners, and it, it becomes frustrating that our physical bodies oftentimes. Can distract us from living in this world and enjoying this life. And I think that society has pushed us in so many different directions with how we're supposed to feel about our bodies. So,

Diane:

to aim for. I mean, you mentioned nineties. Any nineties babies, we've seen heroin chic and low rise jeans to feature your hip bones all the way to now the more curvy like Kardashian physique, B B L physique is in fashion. And apparently, I guess next is back to heroin chic, to which we say no the fuck not

Adina:

Yeah. No, thank you. Um, but, but exactly to your point, like it's crazy that society makes different body types trendy. Like it's been lovely that bigger butts and thighs have been in fashion lately, but like, if we allow ourselves to succumb to what society decides is in vogue, we can't really be in a healthy place with our bodies if we're constantly trying to keep up with this pendulum swing, because that's how it works in fashion. Like it just swings back and forth. And so I think that our intention with this episode is to chat through some of our journeys, some of the things we've heard from clients, and ways that we have found love and appreciation no matter what body we are living in. Um, you know, that might lead towards more of a body neutrality, but I think that there is an appreciation that we can find inside of our bodies no matter what season of life we are in. Setting aside the trend, finding ways for you to feel good inside of your body, whether that's based on. Certain physical things, whether that's based on things completely outside of your physical body and just trying to have a conversation with you, you know, as if we're kind of just hanging out and chatting about these topics and

Diane:

Yeah, he is chilling like old, chopped.

Adina:

and finding ways to find love and appreciation no matter what you're currently going through. Um, so

Diane:

Yeah. And I think beyond body, like this body size and positivity around that neutrality and learning how to appreciate it. Wanna also think about the trends that we've seen for say like skin, like skin health or the pressure to do different procedures there with your facial appearance. I think social media and filters have been so prevalent in the last few years that we're hearing that young girls are really. Having this warp idea of what their healthy, normal skin should even look like. So we'll definitely be talking about all kinds of things around body positivity beyond from the physical size of it to the way your skin looks, or it doesn't look to how you can practice noticing the great, amazing things that your body does every day. So some good stuff to talk about today,

Adina:

Yeah. I think something that comes up a lot that we've talked about on the show a lot and that we've talked to clients a lot about is finding health inside of our bodies and celebrating the health that we find inside of our bodies. And this doesn't mean like throw a paper bag over your head and throw a trash bag over your body and just like never think about the physical body that you live in. You know, like it, it's very much a part of you, but we've become so hyper-focused. Those physical things and stepped outside of finding health in our bodies. Like we've talked about this many times on the show, but fitness does not equal health. You know, like what we talk about as fit does not equal health. That doesn't mean that if you look fit, you're not healthy. It's just a matter of finding other ways to celebrate our body, and I'm figuring out like what are we actually even looking for? I think that something that comes up, it's come up for me in the past, it's come up for many of our clients, is clinging to a body shape or a clothing size that you once had, and ignoring the poor health that came with that shape or size. Like before I found myself in a place where I was more comfortable in my physical body. I definitely was looking back on previous, previous physiques that I had lived in and thinking to myself

Diane:

Oh, I used to be.

Adina:

I'd love to look like that again. And ignoring the anxiety and depression and eczema that came with living in that size body, you know? And I,

Diane:

Oh, I hear that so much of, oh, I used to be this size. Or how many people might keep like jeans from high school and like, oh, I'm gonna try to, my goal is to get back into these this year. Like so much has changed since high school. Your body, your life. You like, why do we want to think that we need to be in those again, you

Adina:

Yeah. And can we think about like, stop looking at this thing and thinking, oh, life was perfect when I looked like that. Like let's be very honest about where was your health at? At this size or this shape or whatever. This thing that you're looking for was, where was your health? What else was going on? What were your priorities like? Were you doing two hit workouts a day, seven days a week? Did you not have three children? You know, I'm speaking to myself

Diane:

a lot of variables are

Adina:

right, like what were the priorities? How did you like to spend your time? What did you have the space to spend your time doing? Was that serving you? Were you finding health? And I mean that in the all-encompassing, holistic, physical, spiritual, mental. Like, were you in a good place? A picture doesn't tell all of that. I think it's just very important to be honest about what our priorities are and what we're looking to achieve in our health because the aesthetic and the goals might not align. And if you're looking for a little more on this conversation, we. episodes that I would point to is Adina Got Fat and here's what happened. And I do wanna talk a little bit more about that

Diane:

and the other one, sustainable fat loss.

Adina:

Yes, that one's also a great episode and one of our most popular episodes cuz people love a fat loss episode

Diane:

Oh, that's for sure.

Adina:

they were in for a real surprise if they thought that was gonna be like the key to How To Lose Fat

Diane:

Spoiler alert. We don't care about starting there, but Sorry, what were you gonna say that you

Adina:

I was gonna say I wanna do a little update on the content from Adina Got Fat and here's what happened. So if you haven't listened to that episode, I would push pause on this one, go back and listen to that and then come back here cuz this is kind of gonna be a little part two on some of the stuff we talked about in there. But we talked a lot about the things that I prioritized in the last few years and how I am currently living in the biggest body that I have lived in as an adult and I am. Feeling so, so good. And I did that very intentionally because I knew I was getting pregnant. I knew we were moving to a foreign country 6,000 miles away from our house while I was seven months pregnant. So I was being very intentional with my nourishment in order to fortify my stress response And the conclusion is that it worked

Diane:

It worked because you got pregnant like not long after that episode, or were you pregnant when we re recorded? No, it was not long after that.

Adina:

yeah, I got pregnant very easily, thank God, right after that. And then we moved and all of the stress of moving, not once did I have an eczema flare. if you haven't been here for lo that long, you don't know that that is something that I have dealt with anytime I was under stress, specifically pregnant, like eczema all over my fingers and face, um, when I was depleted. And so we moved to Tel Aviv in August when I was nine months pregnant and it was a hundred degrees and I was schlepping my two kids around and unpacking boxes and amid all of that, nothing, not a single

Diane:

I mean, that's a lot of exciting stress. That's a lot of, and stress. Stress,

Adina:

yeah. And it was wonderful. And then even my postpartum recovery amid all of that was just so much better than my previous two. And so there were feelings that came up throughout the year and a half or so where I was living in a completely different body than I had for most of my adult life.

Diane:

like leading up to

Adina:

Yeah. And sure things come up. Even if you're in a really good place with your body, things come up like you try something on or you're in a mood and, and things come up. Even if 99% of the time you're feeling really grateful and at peace with your body image and all of that stuff.

Diane:

right? You're not gonna be, you're human. You're not gonna be feeling a hundred all the time.

Adina:

yeah, like I had experiences where I would look at a width of something, like I would open our sliding door to the porch a certain amount because I've always been that size, and then I didn't fit through it. And I was like, oh, I forgot. I am a different size now, You know? And so there were definitely interesting things that came up with that. Um, but on the whole, the experience of feeling so deeply just nourished and fortified, and the way that I was able to handle so much stress. It was so, so, so wonderful and so good. And so I say all of that to say if you are living in a different body than you have previously, if you are living in a bigger body and you have thoughts and feelings that come up around that, I encourage you to focus on what else has shifted with that and

Diane:

This is

Adina:

there things? Yeah. It's just crazy how ingrained some of these feelings are from society when we're younger and

Diane:

that weight is loss is first. And we've talked about this for sure on that sustainable fat loss episode and on Adina, Adina Got Fat episode where she goes more in depth about how she nourished herself for fertility. But so, so many times when I would take more one-on-one clients and see their applications or people in the dms would reach out and they're like, I really, really wanna lose X amount of pounds, or I really need to lose, lose fat, lose weight is usually what they say. And then we chat a little bit and then they're like, oh, I also have these debilitating like migraines. And I wake up at night and I have bubble guts. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, wouldn't those be the top concerns? But I can't tell. And like just my heart goes out to'em. Cuz so many of them are thinking like this first, this first, I will lose this weight and then I will feel good. And that's just not the way it works.

Adina:

yeah. And society has told us that for so long, and even medical professionals are still telling people that that

Diane:

Yeah. Just lose weight.

Adina:

lose weight and then health will come and. it is quite literally the opposite. Like I think that something I do need to clarify here is could I have nourished my body for fertility, for fortification against stress and resilience and gained less fat? And the answer is yes. However, there is much more strategy necessary for that. And to me that stress and obsession is never worth it. That doesn't mean it's not for you. If I had approached the last year and a half the same way that I did, focusing on nourishment, focusing on nutrition, but paying specific attention to macrobalance and calories, could I have achieved the same thing without gaining as much fat? Absolutely. I could have however,

Diane:

that cuz I didn't want for them to hear this and think, okay, so

Adina:

get fat and you'll be healthy. Like, that's it. Yeah.

Diane:

just gain weight. It wasn't like in indiscriminate like Adina, it's just.

Adina:

just like pounding Cheetos and, yeah.

Diane:

Yeah. Whatever. It, it was intentional. She, what she was doing was focusing on foundations first with her goal of, we wanna get pregnant soon. So I need to physically feel my best. And I think that's something that's really key that I talk with my clients is like, you can have these physique goals, but I care most about how you physically feel first. And then often, like your body will find where it wants to be. If, if, if some things like ALS needed to happen, but it's going to be a lot harder, you're gonna be on that diet cycle. On off of that, if you're starting with chasing down fat loss,

Adina:

Yeah. I also just wanna say, if someone's listening to this for the first time, I, I feel like we always need to caveat when people listen to our show for the first time. When we say Got fat or get fat, there is no baggage associated with these words. Like it's just a, our way of simply communicating an increase in body fat percentage.

Diane:

right? We don't wanna sound So clinical

Adina:

Yeah, Like there's no bag. We don't care. Like, it's not

Diane:

Adina amassed some mass in her ass and other places

Adina:

That's the the new tongue twister. You can teach mi when you get here

Diane:

Adina amassed some mass in her ass. We love strong functional asses, which actually we did do another episode on that too.

Adina:

Yeah. But again, there's no, like this isn't, the semantics are not, don't come for us on the semantics is the point.

Diane:

Yeah. We're gonna get tagged in. Diana Fat Phobic.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

No

Adina:

No, that's not what this is about. We're literally just talking about an increase in body per fat percentage. So yes. Could I have. Increased all my nutrient stores and my mineral stores without increasing my body fat percentage in the way that I did. Yes. Would that have been worth my time when I was focusing on moving my family to a new country and supporting my fertility and running my business and all of the things that I was doing. I was not interested in weighing and measuring my food and counting, things like that. And you could, you could totally do that and you could increase all of the nutrient stores that we want to while not increasing your body fat percentage by very much. But for us, it's just never worth it. It's never worth that obsession. I people do it and they still live in good health. People do it and they live in very poor health. But some people do it and they live in good health and like great for them. It's not for me and it's not for a lot of my clients. What we are always trying to do. and what this show is always about, what my programs are about, what Diane's programs are about is finding a way for health to fit into your life in a way that is sustainable and simple for you. So

Diane:

you've tried the diets, the fast fixes, the like counting shit day in, day out, and then how did you feel afterwards? Like maybe you get to where you wanna go, but if you want to talk about like feeling good for the long term, it's not gonna come from tedious tracking and agonizing over the scale or how many calories you're eating

Adina:

yeah, and that doesn't mean like we've talked about on our physique episodes, like it doesn't mean there's not a place for understanding the macros that are in your foods. Like we teach our clients to understand those things and to understand what's on your plate. It's not about, Mindlessly consuming. Like we still want intention to be going into the food you're putting on your plate, the movement you're doing, but we want it to be really doable at every stage of life. I want it to be doable for you. If you are three weeks postpartum, I want you to be able to look at your plate and understand if you're nourishing yourself properly in training. Also, like could I write programs that have more of a focus on hypertrophy like muscle growth or have more of a focus on certain specific goals around building or, you know, whatever it is, leaning out, building, losing fat. Yeah. But my clientele and the women that I like to serve are people who are squeezing in their training between kids' naps or in between client meetings and they're busy and they don't wanna spend a lot of time in the gym. They wanna do it and it, they want it to feel fun and they want it to make them better at living their lives.

Diane:

Yeah, it's practical and it's approach. It's the same way we, we look at training at nutrition. I mean, I used to do a lot more testing with people and there are a number of reasons why I don't start there but I'm like, do we want, does everyone need to start with something so intense or, um, something that is so focused and granular right now? Or would it be more valuable to learn how your body works, what it's trying to ask of you? That's so much valuable information that too many of us didn't learn until we're like into our late twenties, early thirties, some of us. So I think once you know these things like how to approach training in a way that's more sustainable, your nutrition in the same way it's easier to ignore the other noise of whatever people are doing for cleanses. They're like stupid boot camp workouts and they're dumb ankle weights or, um, junk. Like gut cleanses because you know what works for you. And I think that just opens up so much more of your life to you when you can feel confident in a more practical approach, you know?

Adina:

Absolutely, and I wanna talk to you specifically like certain seasons where we hear people criticizing their bodies or just struggling to feel at peace inside of their body. And I mean, I've been going through the postpartum season, which that comes up a lot. And it's hard, like you're dealing with so much and you're exhausted and you want to feel good in your body. You want to feel like yourself. You want to feel like a person outside of just a mom to a newborn. You wanna feel sexy in your skin. Like it. It's not so simple. And I think it's important to say out loud. You don't always need to be in love with exactly how your body looks like. You can still find ways to appreciate your body without being obsessed with it, you know, without walking past the mirror and being like, damn, you know,

Diane:

Which I do do, but also beyond your body. What, like what can you appreciate about the way who you are, what you do, and the kind of person you are beyond just the physical appearance of it? Like, man, I really got through this really hard thing. I'm gonna celebrate myself for that. Like I think this is jumping ahead a bit, but where can we practice like the things that we are proud of and just practice noticing gratitude for the things that you've done, the things that your body does every day. It might feel silly at first, especially if you're so conditioned and so used to, oh well I gained a quarter pound. Like I said on past episodes, maybe you need to go shit

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

there's some of that practicing reframing and also practicing looking for good because there's a lot of that out there too.

Adina:

Yeah. And this is also jumping ahead a bit, but I think I need to mention it at this point is thinking about what you surround yourself with. Because the prevailing message in society is always, always going to be like, you are not good enough, you are not skinny enough. You, you know, and even if it's subliminal and people don't mean to be sending that message like it, it's so ingrained that the number one thing I would do. When you are postpartum and trying to live in your body and learn to appreciate it, who are you following on Instagram? Like, are the people you're following on Instagram not really preaching a certain aesthetic but are preaching a certain aesthetic? And you know, like they say out loud, like, it's not about getting my body back, but like, Really, they're working real hard to

Diane:

I'm doing two a

Adina:

back. Yeah, like. um, and something that somebody in my dms the other day said to, responded to one of my stories about my postpartum fitness and was like, your postpartum fitness journey is winning the internet because like you're showing the reel, you're showing the struggle. It just, and it meant so much to me because my intention this go around was to just be really transparent and honest about the days that it's impossible to fit my training session in, or the days that I'm feeling really strong and proud of myself, or the days where my belly is hanging down on my pull-ups. And maybe five years ago I would've not posted that because I would've thought to myself like, I'm a fitness professional and I shouldn't look

Diane:

and I should, it's always the shoulds. I should look like this, or I should be able to do 10 pull-ups by now. I like that you're very honest. Where your best is day to day and not trying to be the hero that I've heard that you heard you say that a lot in different contexts, not trying to be a hero, um, because you didn't let that pendulum swing into like, all right, we're not trying to get skinny, but we're not also trying to be this hero lifting like 200 pounds overhead, three weeks postpartum. I'm like,

Adina:

Yeah. And so I think that the thing that I keep coming back to and the thing that guides me in the postpartum season and the thing that I want you to seek out support systems who are guided by this as well, is it's not about getting my body back, it's about getting my capabilities back. And. have I been obsessed with my postpartum body at every moment? No. But have I, in those moments, stepped outside to appreciate the incredible gift that is my son? That was my recovery. That is my postpartum journey. And just thinking about what this body has done for me and how I can pour back into this body week to week. Like for me, that comes down to nourishing myself and training. Because when I feel strong and capable, like for me, the things that's the hardest about the postpartum season is feeling weak and feeling disconnected, and like a sack of potatoes that just like can't pick things up. You know,

Diane:

have to sit with a little human on you for a long time, and I know that you don't like to typically do that.

Adina:

Yeah. Like it's, it slows you down in a way that's challenging. And so in that moment to focus on what am I getting better at, like, watching my linear progression, watching my pull-ups come back to me, watching my overhead press come back to me watching my ability to swing a bell without peeing in my pants, come back to me. You know, like there's, there's a building aspect to this. And so focusing on those things is really helpful. And I had to mute some fitness professionals, even like friends of mine, people that I love to follow. But in that specific season, it wasn't fun to watch them because it felt so far away for me, it didn't feel like an exciting goal. It felt

Diane:

Did it feel stressful? Like it those shoulds were creeping in.

Adina:

exactly like I am in this moment and I need to slow down and focus on the breath work, focus on the bonding, focus on the sleep. And it didn't feel good to watch other people pring. And it wasn't even about like how they looked. It was just about things that I wasn't capable of in that moment

Diane:

it wasn't about like body size, just like feeling fomo, a bit of it and like, I don't need this right now.

Adina:

exactly. And so knowing what is going to creep in for you and some of us on social media, I feel like we have Stockholm Syndrome, like we follow people because it makes us hate ourselves.

Diane:

Oh,

Adina:

mute them, unfollow them. You know what I mean? Like maybe you needed to hear

Diane:

I love doing a spring cleaning. I do a quarterly clean. Um, and I am in this, the last couple of years, especially been ruthless. how I mind my mental peace, not only in the company that I keep, which I know we're gonna talk about shortly, but in the sources that I follow. So we were joking earlier about like, um, horror stuff or scary thing. I rarely watch those things because I really just want to feel good and it, I think it does affect us more than we would give it credit for sometimes. But, um, also in the last couple of years, or LA in the last year had a lot of stress. I mean, running your own business is exciting, but also can be a lot sometimes. So I have to really mind, um, my rest and I was feeling. Like physically unwell. So I've had some health stuff I'm dealing with and um, if there's anyone who's felt discouraged with like chronic health stuff, like I should be further along, I should be, because I do all these things. I've felt that too. And it's an ongoing practice. And I think a reminder that I've given two clients and also to myself, is like, you don't get to this level where you're like level unlocked. Like, I'm never ever gonna have a, like, gut tummy trouble, trouble again, or I'm never gonna have another breakout. Like, it would be super nice, um, but there would be times where I'd be discouraged, like, I'm really stressed and my skin is showing it right now. Um, but instead of making that about me or like spiraling down a TikTok hole for the best skincare, which I would do in the past, I thought, okay, what can I do right now? How else can I like, appreciate my body and my skin? Through all this. Um, I love what you said about muting, because before I thought, well, I should be able to be around this, or maybe I just need to research some things more. Especially for anyone like going through the healing season, like you might notice you're, you're consuming all the information, and then how do you feel on the other side of that, like, probably not very good. So I'm, I'm ruthless about who I'm consuming information from. I have an aesthetician I trust. And then also trusting the process has been really helpful for me. Like, here are some things that I can notice or know that I'm doing and then releasing the rest. I think a lot of my driven ladies or recovering perfectionists will resonate with, like, you wanna feel like you're, you need, you gotta do more or you gotta get all the information, but sometimes that's really just too much. So call the sources that you are. Um, Consuming information from, whether that's muting them on following for a time. And I really like to practice gratitude. I know it sounds so cliche and everyone hears that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But something I've done every day is write down at least three things I'm grateful for. Either one of those is usually something with my health. Um, even when I'm not feeling well, like even on days that I've had, I had a migraine or a bad breakout or something. Something that I'm grateful for about my health, and then like something in relationship or something silly could be something silly like, or tr small like the sun is shining today. Because when

Adina:

is not a small thing.

Diane:

No, I was about, I said that and I was like, wait, that's no small thing. When you live in the Midwest, it might sound, and I've been there before where I was feeling negative Nancy, just like nothing's good. Like I still have to commit to noticing those things

Adina:

Mm-hmm.

Diane:

otherwise it's so easy to get stuck. It's so easy to get stuck and forget that there are good things happening along the way, especially in the healing season.

Adina:

Yeah. I think that that is so true, like the postpartum season and the healing season, like any season that really slows you down, I think it is so important to focus on the things that are going really well, even if that's outside of your physical body. Like just focusing on those things and focusing on what you can appreciate yourself for. Um, I think

Diane:

trust too. Like a thing is really, is really important. Like I found someone to support me with some health stuff instead of just trying to go it all alone. Um, so like the company you keep is, is so important, but this person will also encourage me to think like, all right, you might not be at this goal yet, but the X, Y, and Z. This is something I do for clients, but like, you know, you forget when it's, you

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

like, but this has changed. I'm like, oh yeah. So. Yeah, case for noticing, practicing that, um, gratitude for things that are going well, and then finding people in your circle or practitioners who can also remind you too.

Adina:

Yeah. And this one is back to like that physical body weight game thing.

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Adina:

You may have heard this before, but if you haven't practiced it, here is your reminder. Sometimes you just need new clothing. you just need clothing that fits you, that will make you feel a zillion times better about the body you're currently living in. If you are in the postpartum season. If you are in a healing season, if you have recently gained some weight, if your body composition has just shifted, like maybe you grew a booty swinging kettle bells and when you try to, yeah, when you try to put on your old pants, you all of a sudden start to have all these feelings of my pants don't fit. And if you just got pants that fit, you would be like, wow, look at dis amazing ass. I have grown

Diane:

Been there. Like, I literally split and it was a proud moment. And not once did it enter in my mind like, oh, I'm, I'm feeling fat. Oh no, I need to lose weight. I was like, yeah, I've been swinging kettle bells. And it split, it was on in Palm Springs, like up my butt cheek and they weren't freshly washed, but I like bent down at some point. And that happened. I was like, Ooh. And then I noticed like some of my jeans were tight around my thighs too. And you know what? I got a different silhouette. Like I don't really want my skinny tapered into the ankle jeans at all anymore. Anyway. I heard the, the, the youth saying that's just not on trend anymore.

Adina:

The youths are

Diane:

actually I do like skinny with like the higher winter boots that I have, but I'm liking like a straight leg, like a vintage Levi's or some that have a little bit of hole, but they're like cropped at the ankle, like a shorter length. Do you know what I'm talking about? I like those and I like those with more muscular thighs.

Adina:

Yeah. I actually really need to take my own advice because I have not bought new jeans since this baby was born, and that is something I really need. But like, it's more of just, I haven't had the time to do it. like I've just been wearing sweatpants everywhere. Um,

Diane:

Maybe we'll have to go and look around. There

Adina:

little boutique shopping.

Diane:

I found a flea market that I wanna check out near you, near one of our hotels too. that looks lovely. But yeah, like whether it's weight gain or if you're feeling really bloated and there's something toy and constricting high waist around dot tumtum. Let's find something that feel, that gives you some breathing room and that can do some wonders for how you feel physically and maybe how you feel about how you look too.

Adina:

Yeah, definitely.

Diane:

We love a strong, I mean, I'm, I want my butt to get bigger. I've been working hard on that. Do you remember when we were hiking Was it two years ago now? Yeah. Ugh,

Adina:

it? Oh my God, no. Was I pregnant with or.

Diane:

I don't think so yet. It was November. No, it was before you were pregnant. So it was like, oh my gosh. Coming up on two years. But we were hiking and this woman was climbing over rocks on the hike and she's like, does this make my ass look fat? Like she was worried about, she was hoping it didn't, and I'm like, I hope. That when I'm climbing over these rocks, it makes my ass look fat.

Adina:

Yeah, but that's exactly what we're talking about, about the generational thing and like the pendulum swing of body types. It's like if we allow society to dictate what bodies are on trend, how silly, you know, like we all look so different. How silly

Diane:

How silly. And I just can just appreciate strong functional acid. Again, we have an episode about this because it takes work and dedication, swinging bells, eating foods to build muscle. Muscle's expensive, like

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

nutritionally. It's expensive. So when I see that, I'm like, I salute you. You've been working hard. Congrats

Adina:

for you. Congrats on your ass. You know that, um, this is the funny thing on the internet now, the, the girlies at the gym now who wear the baggy t-shirt, but it's like tucked in the back. You know what I'm talking about?

Diane:

Oh yeah, I, I do. But I also, have you seen on TikTok? Um, this was so impressive. They're calling it a sleeper build, and this girl looked very petite. You would not know that she lift, she kind of had a baggy shirt on and her legs looked ver, kind of pretty small, and she pulled more weight than like other men in the gym when she was deadlifting. And just the reactions of everyone else in the video was hilarious.

Adina:

yeah. I love the cute things on the internet about muscles, like have, like muscle mommy. That whole thing

Diane:

Muscle mommy. Yeah. my friend

Adina:

thought about calling my postpartum program muscle Mommy, but I feel like it, it. It's gonna come and go. I feel like it's gonna come and go.

Diane:

Uh, I mean, maybe you can make it stay because I love it. Muscle. Mommy. You know, I like alliteration. I can't wait to get into some, like, what did you say? Tongue, tongue, twisters and such with mini,

Adina:

Yeah. She's also really into homonyms right now. So if you can come up with any of those when it's like the same, it's sa the word sounds the same, but means something different. Like

Diane:

Knife or not polish. And polish.

Adina:

No, no, no. The other one. Now I'm thinking of the, you know, the 30 rock thing about, um, celebrity hominem? Is that what it's called? When it's like, oh my God, I'd have to clip it out for you. There's a 30 rock episode where one of the game shows. Is that where it's like, um, you have to just guess which meaning they're talking about

Diane:

no. I don't know how you remember all of these with like, especially after watching six seasons of a different show.

Adina:

Yeah. No, they're just seared into my brain, but it's really funny. Um, anyways, so it's like, like train and train. She's like, yeah, like to train with kettlebells and like to ride a train, you know, like,

Diane:

Right on. I think I get it. Oh

Adina:

you get it,

Diane:

like middle and high school English. I was in AP English and Lit and I know like some of these things I don't remember.

Adina:

it's all good. She'll refresh you. Um, yeah. Okay. So back to it. If you are feeling a type of way, I think something that really helps us is committing to process goals or like I mentioned, focusing on your capabilities versus aesthetics. And so for me in this season and things that help my clients, is focusing on skills that you wanna unlock. Like is it pullups? Is it pushups? Is it a certain task in your day to day that you want to feel easier? Like there is nothing I love more than when my clients tell me I didn't realize, but now I've been walking up the stairs holding my toddler, and suddenly it just doesn't hurt my knees. Or suddenly it just feels easier. Like my hearing that your day-to-day feels easier. What a win.

Diane:

What a win, baby. I love those. And I wanna give some examples for my nutritional therapy girlies or those who are, oh, hi, Doug dogs up from his nap. Oh, it's almost, it's almost his lunchtime. He's

Adina:

stay quiet over there, Doug. I don't wanna have to edit you out again.

Diane:

he's sitting in the dog sunshine, the little patch of sunshine, as we call it. So cute. He's got a bath.

Adina:

It's been really cold in our apartment cause we don't have heat and it's like gotten down to 50 some nights. And Donnie was sitting in the sunny seat at our like breakfast table this morning and he's like, I feel like Diane's dog.

Diane:

and we call it Dog Sunshine. Look at him. He's look at you. Oh, my baby gonna miss him. Um, so some examples for, uh, the women I work with or, and so anyone who is dealing with gut issues, hormone stuff, metabolism stuff. Sometimes I'll hear someone say like, I really want my period to be better, or I really want to focus on preconception. Maybe they've been trying for a few months and they're very eager and anxious about that coming, but some things that they can notice along the way that is valuable. Awesome. Progress. Things like sleeping through the night that blood sugars being stable. We just talked about this in our night. PPEs episode, a little bit. So go back to that or, um, maybe you

Adina:

wait, sorry, pause for a second.

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

So many people messaged us, DM does commented on things that, like the episode made them have to pee

Diane:

Yes.

Adina:

which is just proof of everything we were talking about that like the second that mind starts racing and thinking about ppe, that pelvic floor, that bladder, they're just get involved

Diane:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Now I'm gonna have to, I have like three Bevies here. What are some other examples or, um, some, a lot of my clients have come to me with like years of gut stuff, right? Like years of gut stuff and they're ready for it to go away. Years ago. Uh, but sometimes that doesn't happen so fast. But I love when I get the messages. Like I was able to have dairy and things were quiet in my tummy. I didn't gas out my husband overnight. Or just like little things that they can notice along the way are so key. Or I had this, um, I had a cycle that didn't lay me out with cramps. Like all these little things. Maybe you can even note little winds in ear. Your bullet journal, your planner, like I do, stuff like that. It's important to notice along the way.

Adina:

Yeah. And I think the last kind of big thing we wanna talk about is the company that you keep. And so for, for me, in the fitness realm, what I encourage you to do, if you are not yet on a program, if you are not yet working with a coach, please sign up for a program or work with a coach that cultivates a community where fitness is about these things where fitness is about goals, where fitness is about capabilities and

Diane:

be in skinny

Adina:

Yeah, like when it, even if. the program is good if the atmosphere and the community and the coach is so hyper-focused on looking a certain way on getting back into a certain body.

Diane:

or we're working off that brunch, like those kinds of things.

Adina:

Yeah. When you don't realize how disordered that language is and just, just why? Why are we so stuck there? Like celebrate bodies for what they can do. You can celebrate feeling really good in your body, but it doesn't have to be so obsessed with this thing that you're trying to achieve that society told you was how you're supposed to feel in your body. Like some of us would feel way better in a softer, feminine, curvier body if society never got to us about these things, you know?

Diane:

it's like turn off. Do people buy magazines anymore? I guess I'll find out the airport. Like

Adina:

Only

Diane:

any of those. you say,

Adina:

we read them on shop. We do. We read them on Chavez. We're keeping print alive.

Diane:

I love it. I'll bring you some some of the airport rags, but I'm thinking of like, who wore it better and just like, I don't know, just some of those trash mag, like turn those off, like unfollow certain accounts. And I love that note of look for a coach or a program that has the atmosphere that is health healthy for you and for your nervous system and your goals. That's so important. Um, but also too, we gotta think about friendships. And we talked about this before. We are outlining this, that Adina and I feel like we're in a bubble because we n we never are coming into the group chat or into our texts with each other. Like, I feel fat, or, oh, they don't like us. This makes me look fat. Or just, we just don't talk about our bodies and it's, we're always celebrating like things that we can do and just, I just can't imagine being in a friendship where we're constantly, micro analyzing every way which way that we look like it's, that's just not my main friendships at all.

Adina:

Yeah, and you really nailed it. Like we really do live in a bubble because sometimes I forget and I like overhear peripheral friends or acquaintances talking about themselves in a certain way or talking to each other in that way. And I'm just like, oh, we're still doing this. Like what? And I laugh, but it also kind of like makes me really sad because. M many of us are raising another generation of girls who are hearing us talk in these ways. And

Diane:

Mm-hmm.

Adina:

just, I'm so appreciative that I found this perspective and I found my health and my appreciation for my body and my strength before I had a daughter because I'm just, I'm so grateful that I'm able to cultivate this environment in our home that's so focused around strength and our capabilities. And it's not limited to just what society thinks about the way we're supposed to look. Um, which of course she still hears it from other places, school, friends, that kind of stuff. But

Diane:

Yeah. I'm really in just really intentional about who I'm closest to these days. As, as I get older, I'm like, the free time feels rare, and so I only want to spend it around people who make me feel good and

Adina:

Yeah. Does this feel good? I think you have to keep coming back to

Diane:

Yeah. Beyond just like the body, positively chap, but like, are your friends people who celebrate you or are they quiet? When you, when something good happens to you, are they there? Through the ups and downs, I'm just very discerning about who I spend time with and that's just been so helpful. Like you might see your circle get smaller as you get older, but that's fine and all for the better. Like you don't wanna have people around that make you feel ick. Spring clean'em, send them packing.

Adina:

cleanup. And even in your like romantic relationships, I think

Diane:

Yes.

Adina:

there are some partners who don't even realize how indoctrinated they have been by diet, culture and fitness culture. And if your partner is making you feel a certain way about your body or like you're supposed to live up to a certain standard in your body. or you are just however they're making you feel about your body. Maybe it warrants a conversation. Like maybe you need to say clearly, like the way that you are making me feel, you are being guided by X, Y, Z perspective. And that is not what's gonna happen here. Um, I mean sometimes it's like, this person's not for me if they can't

Diane:

Yeah. If you're

Adina:

that feedback. Yeah.

Diane:

not having a supportive partner, like the ick that I'll hear from friends who are dating like peop, the guys that they meet. and the things that they think is okay to say about, let me, maybe what they're Dr. How they're dressed if they're not doing their makeup, whatever. I'm like, wh where did you get this audacity, sir? Get out of here. Um, I've definitely had partners where they would make comments, or not about me, but maybe about like, something that they were attracted to in other women, or like, you know, whether it's we're watching something like crude comments. Um, and it never, it didn't feel good. I'm just so thankful. Neil's just such a sweet, sweet man and he like never says anything like that and always is really respectful and just kind and supportive. And that's the minimum, like, that's what the minimum that we should accept from a romantic.

Adina:

Yeah, I know that could be hard for some people to hear and swallow, but it doesn't have to be that way, is the main thing. Like we grew up with certain messaging and unfortunately they are still prevalent in a lot of places and it again, this conversation never means don't care. About the body that you're living in. Like we encourage you to take very good care of yourself. It's just a matter of what that means. And

Diane:

and the

Adina:

conflicting messaging. Yes, and the conflicting messaging that comes from society. And I know we always point back to this episode, but our DIA culture episode is a really good conversation around some of these themes and may help you to spot disordered behavior in yourself, in other people. Just messaging that we've allowed ourselves to become so accustomed to. And when we take a step outside of it and think like we live in one body, it's our job to take care of it and to make sure that we feel wonderful day to day and that we can appreciate the body that we're living in. But does that mean what we've been raised to believe that it means, you know,

Diane:

Yeah. You know? Yes. A co-signed. We can't talk about relationships without also talking about the relationships that we have with, I wrote here stupid objects, did you see Doug Turnaround and the Dog Sunshine? Yeah. Doug, do you agree? Um, so that first one being the scale. I know we talked about this in the diet culture episode and definitely on other, anything really where we talk about physique, we've peppered it in there, but we really want to drive it home to toss it. You don't need to be weighing yourself every day. You don't, you don't need to at all. Um, There are other ways that we can track physique progress if that's, if you're in a place where that makes sense, but the scale's stupid. It's stupid. It's not gonna tell you about muscle, it's not gonna tell you other things and other markers of progress that we've talked about here, like, how are you digesting? How's your blood sugar, da da, da, all those things. You can also ask your pcp, your primary care, provi, primary care provider, to not tell you that number on the scale. Sometimes they might have to weigh you, uh, for medications or dosing, right? But you don't have to see it.

Adina:

Yeah. You can ask them not to wear you. It might make their head spin because like that is their only, that's what they've been taught is the only way to understand health But I mean, especially if you are going to a doctor for prenatal appointments, like you don't really need that information. You don't. And

Diane:

they need my height? Like I've said this before, but why are we still doing that? Because I'm really hoping for that last inch, but I don't know that I'm gonna get it.

Adina:

It's really a mystery. Like, I don't know. I shared on the podcast that we took Abe to the ER that night when we thought he had a concussion. Right. Did I tell that story here? I think I

Diane:

Yeah, you did.

Adina:

And when they got to the er, when Donnie got to the ER with him, they weighed him like he was vomiting and they wa I was like, what? Why is that important information right now? Like, does he have a concussion or not? You know, like

Diane:

like, did we need to do that

Adina:

they're just so stuck in their protocols and like

Diane:

We look for what we know.

Adina:

this means health. Oh man. What a mystery gang.

Diane:

Mm-hmm. you had a note here that I love.

Adina:

Yeah. This is the last thing I really wanna drive home about this, because like we mentioned, You may not be obsessed with how you look right now, and that's totally fine. Like we've talked about throughout this episode, there are so many ways to appreciate your body without feeling a thousand percent comfortable in the skin that you're living in right now. And I think it's just important to recognize that body sizes change, bodies ebb and flow. There are different seasons of life, and we are going to live in different bodies in different seasons of life. It is so wonderful to focus on your capabilities, to celebrate the amazing things that your body can do for you to find clothing that makes you feel really beautiful, no matter what body you're currently living in, to find things that make you feel really strong, even if you're not pring the way that you were. In a different season of life, like can you find a way to enjoy your training, to celebrate your body, to love the way it feels to be you, even if you don't love every single thing about your physical body at every single moment. But a thing that I really want to stress for you is however you are feeling about your body right now. Do not let that exclude you from family photos and family memories, because we have all been there where we have not felt like we look exactly what like we wanna look right now. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be in that picture with your friends, that you shouldn't create memories that your children can look back on and know that you were there for those memories. Like it's really, really important that even in this very moment, if you don't feel like you're at a hundred with your relationship, with your body, with your relationship, with your body image, There are still things that you can celebrate and you will not look back on those pictures and criticize yourself in the way that you might in this moment. And so

Diane:

Be in the photos.

Adina:

be in the photos and step outside of that critical thing that we grew up with. If you have a voice in your head of someone else who has criticized you, and that's how you think about yourself sometimes, like you are beautiful and wonderful and amazing, and strong and capable, and we want you to feel those things about yourself,

Diane:

Yeah,

Adina:

it doesn't always have to be tied to this one image. You know,

Diane:

Yeah. It breaks my heart when I've had photos with friends and they, oh, I hate that photo meeting. They're immediately criticizing and 10 out of 10 times I'm like, oh, like, I mean, yeah, maybe someone's eyes closed or like, you really did capture someone like, I don't know, mid bite and you, you're trying to call it a candid photo. My dad loves to do that. He's like, it's candid. I'm like, you did that, like shot from the table, pointed up at me. My eyes closed. I've got food in my mouth. Mouth. A gate. Like that's not flattering, but what I'm talking about is like,

Adina:

I mean like to 30 Rocket again, when Liz Lemon's ID card where she, she was s snorting in the photo. Do you know that one? Which by the way, now that I'm thinking about it, some pelvic floor dysfunction for Liz Lemon

Diane:

yeah, Liz

Adina:

While she's sneezing,

Diane:

It's just not a good one. Or, um, like Costco, there's the, somehow the way they print out photos, it's like everyone looks like they're on math because it's like really pixelated and like, sometimes you just gotta accept those and like, laugh at it. I do. Um, but I'm thinking of

Adina:

memories.

Diane:

yeah, I'm thinking of like photos I've had with friends where I'm seeing like, oh, great smile, great memory. And just immediately breaks my heart when someone's like, oh, well look my arm, oh, like, I don't like this one because I look fat. Like I, no

Adina:

I know

Diane:

let's,

Adina:

it's so trivial. Like we've all gotten so, we're so indoctrinated, but it's so trivial. Like, does that matter? In the grand scheme of enjoying our lives, it's just silly.

Diane:

Like let yourself be seen. And I think when we talked about the scale, but also about letting ourselves be seen in photos and also like filters and social media giving us this warped idea of what we should look like, of what skin should look like. Your skin's gonna have pores and texture. Even like healthy, healthy skin is going to have texture. And I think in the last few years we've been so used to seeing like this completely glazed over like airbrush face, tune to hell, filter, um, look out there. Be in the photos. So in conclusion, we are always going

Adina:

is there ever really a conclusion on this conversation?

Diane:

No, no, but to wrap it up with a little bow, some little takeaways for you. Sum it all up as we want you to practice. nourishing yourself first, practicing feeling good or, or striving towards feeling good physically. Um, before looking at that number on the scale, the size of your pants and to practice, we invite you to practice looking for things that are going well. What can you celebrate today? However small it may feel about your health, about your body, about the kind of person that you are and the things that you do instead of what your body looks like. Can you throw out the scale? That's first Let's throw that out.

Adina:

Throw out the scale and the pants from high school.

Diane:

Yes. No one needs those. They're probably low rise and like, I don't know, flared at the bottom. I guess they're coming back. Give them to, give them to, uh, a tick. Ticky talker. A small

Adina:

a youth

Diane:

Yes. And always drink your water. Eat your breakfast.

Adina:

Take up space.

Diane:

Take up space and unc unclench your bottle.

Adina:

Well,

Diane:

We have to say that

Adina:

be us if we didn't.

Diane:

we love you, gals and pals.

Adina:

Enjoy. Enjoy this love day and hopefully you can find a little self-love along the way.

Diane:

Yeah, bye.