Get Your Shit Together

How to Handle Dumb Comments & Set Boundaries After Announcing Your Pregnancy

• Adina Rubin & Diane Teall • Season 4 • Episode 104

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In this episode of Get Your Shit Together we chat about:
🧡 “Was this planned?”, weight questions, guessing seggs of baby, & other dumb comments
🧡 Abundant and unhinged ways to respond to comments about your announcement
🧡 Things you can say to your pregnant pal that are actually nice & cool
🧡 Setting boundaries with others (& yourself!) during pregnancy
🧡 How to choose your support system & mental peace

Episode Show Notes: www.getyourshittogetherpod.com/podcast/episode104 

Follow us on Instagram @getyourshittogetherpod

Connect with Diane:
Instagram: @dianeteall
Website: www.diteawellness.com
Book your Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis (HTMA) Review with Diane for August 2024: https://l.bttr.to/ElPae

Connect with Adina:
Instagram: @adinarubin_
Website: www.adinarubincoaching.com
Enroll in self-paced Strength Training for Happy Hormones (STHH)
Get on the waitlist for Adina’s postpartum program

Follow us on Instagram @getyourshittogetherpod

Watch GYST on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@getyourshittogetherpodcast

Connect with Diane:
Instagram: @dianeteall
Website: www.diteawellness.com
Enroll in Root Cause Reset (self-study): www.rcrprogram.com

Connect with Adina:
Instagram: @adinarubin_
Website: www.adinarubincoaching.com
STHH Prenatal Waitlist https://adina.myflodesk.com/prenatalwaitlist
STHH Postpartum https://sthh.circle.so/checkout/sthh-postpartum

Diane:

Hello.

Adina:

Hello!

Diane:

I was like, it's Adina's turn. Take us

Adina:

say who was taking us in, and now we

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

are.

Diane:

evening. We are here on a Thursday evening for Adina and you might hear some people enjoying their Thursday or I guess it's the beginning of the weekend in Tel Aviv. So

Adina:

Yeah, my neighbors are partying. So hopefully you don't hear it too much, but you may. You may hear some girlies in a hot tub, you may hear some Israeli rap.

Diane:

what is it? A lot of woo. A lot of, a lot of

Adina:

That's what I'm hearing, woo girls. Um, yeah. I wonder what the deal is with that, but Hopefully you guys don't hear

Diane:

And per usual, Doug's over here. My pug is snoring, but it was a reverse sneeze. And if you have a dog, you. have probably heard this and it's especially if they have a squishy face. It's a bit alarming. Almost like he's trying to

Adina:

I was alarmed

Diane:

Yeah. So, I mean,

Adina:

Wait, I didn't tell you about this How disgusting okay. I was outside filming today this morning I was filming like the next chin up variation for the next block in the club And I have like a neighbor, their building is like way too close to my roof. And it's a very bizarre apartment. It's like really old looking. They have these like muskets from like the 1700s hanging in there, like the living room

Diane:

Okay.

Adina:

and this like disgusting little kitchen. Anyways, I'm filming and I'm like coaching loud. Like I'm like projecting and he opens his window, which is shockingly close to me. And just starts like hawking loogies out the window. It was the most disgusting thing ever.

Diane:

so loud.

Adina:

on camera. Like, it's on my

Diane:

do you actually have it? Can you clip it out and send it to me or share with the class?

Adina:

It is a weird situation and it ended up being for the best because Something was up with my camera settings because I had just recorded something in slow mo and didn't switch back. So I don't actually have the audio because it was in slow mo, but I'm going

Diane:

to hear that in slow mo, that's for

Adina:

yeah, no, anyways, it was disgusting and alarming. And I felt like he was like doing it more when he realized I was right there. It was upsetting

Diane:

very jarring when older gentlemen, because that's always who it is when it's in public, clear their throat. It's just too much. I'm really extra sensitive to that.

Adina:

the bathroom friends.

Diane:

sensitive to noise and someone in my DMs was like, maybe you have this and it was some word that I don't doubt is a thing that we can pathologize, but I looked at like what the triggers can be and it's like loud traffic, people chewing with their mouth open. That's the one that got me to look this up. And I'm like, these are things that I think, would bother most people.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

So camera though, tell us, let's, let's show and tell, at least for the YouTube girlies, what you're, what you're excited about on the camera front.

Adina:

Okay. So, well, this incident was recorded on my like work camera, which is just like, you know, I was telling Diane it's, it's utilitarian, like gets the job done for work. The video is crispy, does what it needs to do, but it's not like fun to use. It's not like, it doesn't make me want to make art, you know? And as we were talking about last week, just like bringing in more play, more things that just like fill your cup, crafts, art making. Activities in the sunshine, like stuff that just feels better than your normal routine, because I love my work. I love training. I love momming, but I just like wasn't doing anything outside of those things for a while. I am really, really working on prioritizing that now. So I'm going to hopefully try to get into some more water sports, try to play volleyball a little more often, which I was doing a while ago, just like, Do more of the stuff that is fun and playful. And one of the things that I did that was very accessible in this moment, um, I bought myself a new camera camera, you know, the way Jenna Maroney says that, um, and I'm obsessed. I am having so much fun with

Diane:

Well, are you gonna tell us what it is? Okay.

Adina:

I'm going to show and

Diane:

And I'm gonna have to write it down so we can link it in the show notes.

Adina:

Does everyone care? Yes, they

Diane:

I think so. Are you going to restart your Tumblr? Did you ever have a Tumblr live journal, Zanga, any of those?

Adina:

I did not.

Diane:

I thought I was so artsy. I mean,

Adina:

You are

Diane:

we are,

Adina:

and art are one. Yes. There's my camera.

Diane:

Oh,

Adina:

So for those who. So cute. Classic. Looks like an old school film camera. Has cute little dials. Just feels good in your hand. It's like leathery. It's got some weight to it. We got the emoji reactions again!

Diane:

I don't know what triggers it.

Adina:

I know, what did I do? Now I'm like, what have I

Diane:

So it looks like a film camera, but it, but

Adina:

It does look like film. It is a Fuji film. It is a digital camera. However, it feels like a film camera. It has a little mechanical shutter and it has like, I don't know if you're familiar with the Fuji universe, but basically like,

Diane:

is a camera

Adina:

a, a, an? Yes. This is now a camera podcast. Um, on, in the Fuji film world, there is, well, I feel like people might know more now because I feel like it's like swept tick tock, you

Diane:

Fuji is classic, like Canon and Nikon, right? But. The one that Adina was talking about is not actually the viral one that has been going around on the talk.

Adina:

And I can explain the difference, but pretty much the reason Fuji films have gotten so popular right now is because they have the ability to basically. Like put filters on your photos for Yes, like for the layman's understanding. It's like adding preset filters to your photos. Um, so you can Set like film simulations and so you can shoot in very specific styles and you can Make your digital photos look more like film and give them those film qualities. So it's like the fun of shooting film without the expense or the like manual labor.

Diane:

Yeah, you're like, you don't have to be as choosy about how many shots you're using. So, well, tell them the names so they can look it up if they are curious, unless you're gatekeeping it.

Adina:

this, no, not at all. Oh my God. Everyone get yourself a camera and have some fun. Um, this is the Fujifilm XT 30 mark two. it's the sec. Yes. It's the second version of the X T 30. And I am shooting with a Fuji film, 23 millimeter lens. Uh, F two is the aperture, the lowest aperture on this lens. And so what makes this different than the viral Tik TOK one, besides the fact that you can get your hands on it is that it is an interchangeable lens system. So you can buy just the camera body and then you would By the lenses of your choice based on the photos that you want to take The one that is sweeping tiktok is really like a point and shoot camera. It has a fixed lens. So

Diane:

which I think serves a different purpose, but yeah, if you want the flexibility of different lenses, then you're SOL

Adina:

And also like it could be cheaper than the viral one because of that And then you also have the flexibility again to choose. But yeah that the viral one is the X106 I think this is a camera podcast.

Diane:

We're gonna have to put this in the bullet of our podcast, because it's such a segment right now.

Adina:

yeah, you never know. There's people out there who might be interested, but the point is I'll tell you why I looked to photography besides for the fact that I do really enjoy it. I also live in a very beautiful city and I walk around all day

Diane:

you never show it to us because you're so private, which

Adina:

Yeah. Even just thinking about. Buying a camera like once I got in my head that I wanted to buy a camera I felt like a tourist in my own city again like I just kept seeing buildings differently and it was just brought this excitement to my morning walks and to my drive to pick the kids up on the bike and yeah, it was just like

Diane:

drop some into the show notes that you sent me. Adina was sending me some in this beautiful rainbow building, which I remember right on the beach. that exact one. I just like seeing it through your eyes. That's. It's fun and a nice outlet for your creativity.

Adina:

Yeah, exactly. And also it feels um, that was another piece of it is like I love to paint but the reality of my life in this apartment is like I don't really have a place to paint. And that feels like this is similar to why I choose kettlebells over barbells. It's not that photography is better than painting or kettlebells are better than barbells. It's just in this season of my life, does this allow me to do the thing that I want to do with the lowest barrier to entry? So like now I get to. access my creativity, express myself, make some art, and all it takes is like wearing my camera around my neck while I'm doing something I already was doing, like

Diane:

I'm walking your

Adina:

going for walks with Ori in the morning, driving, yeah, exactly.

Diane:

how many of them know your story, that your handle used to be Empower Lift Eats but you also were doing food photography courses when we first met and beautiful shots, so you have more experience too that would lend well to the type of camera you chose. But seems like that's pretty, like, whether you're a more seasoned photographer or kind of new to it, you could. Use one of these cameras and get really cool effects.

Adina:

Yes, and here's the thing about making art these days is like if you have a hankering for it, even if you don't know a specific skill, Like we have YouTube and we have Tik TOK, just like go watch a YouTube video about beginner photography or beginner photography for Fujifilm cameras. Like it takes, you know, three days of watching a few YouTube videos. And then you'll be like, Oh,

Diane:

Yeah, not

Adina:

I can do

Diane:

can learn so

Adina:

see the world's completely different. Yeah. It's amazing. Like

Diane:

I love that

Adina:

out there,

Diane:

I'm actually looking at a camera that I have on my wish list. I was looking at the other point and shoot Fuji, but there's another one I'm also looking at that's smaller than my phone because when baby is here, I want to have just fun, more fun and fun with the photos and not just use my camera. And I do have a bigger Canon, but when I've been traveling, there have been trips that I've gone on internationally where it has basically sat in my bag. Because the camera that I'm going to use the most is the one that I'm gonna use, or the best one is gonna be the one that I use. So for me, I want something smaller, more compact in the season that I'm going into, and can take some cute dog photos. But on the other hand, Over here, this is going to lead into my what I'm consuming, and also I guess a new hobby, a new pet that I got, is the sourdough starter that we mentioned last episode, and this is thanks to Adina. I, I brought her to class, to the episode, so if you're watching on YouTube, like, look at them bubbles.

Adina:

She did it.

Diane:

Ooh, ooh, whoa, okay, that's gonna, someone, this is also on TikTok, it's like the word for like being scared of holes, which, like, yeah, it's gonna have some bubbles, it's hot, so that might freak some people out, but I also brought to class something that I'm consuming this week. Oh my gosh, I just opened it, it smells so good. Sourdough? I am actually, because why not? I'm right here and they smell so good. Uh, using the starter, I did brown butter sourdough chocolate chip cookies with sea salt on top, of course. So I've made two batches. I brought some to a friend this morning. And I like when the butter is warmer, when the dough is warmer and it spreads out more. I like like a flatter, crispier cookie. So, so good.

Adina:

She took a bite. She took a bite, ladies.

Diane:

need some milk. I

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

need some milk. Alright, I'll take a bite and leave the rest.

Adina:

There was something else I wanted to say. And now I can't remember what it was. But we should probably get into our media because we, um, You know, time's a tickin

Diane:

after a camera segment. Yeah, so tell us what you're watching while I chew this cookie.

Adina:

Okay, well first I'll tell you what I'm eating because my sister was here for a couple of days, a little quick trip. And obviously we went to Manara because we have to go to Manara when people visit. It's on our block, it's beautiful, especially in the summer because we go at 7. 30 and we get to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean Sea and it is epic and panoramic and just so lovely. It's just so lovely. And Monaro, what they do, if you haven't heard us talk about this, this is our favorite restaurant in Tel

Diane:

went there twice when I was visiting.

Adina:

yeah, Diane was not here that long and we did go twice, um, but what they like to do is, There's always like a summer menu where they take like a street food and kind of elevate it So last year it was fish and chips. I think I feel like I talked about it on the podcast It was like a really elevated fish and chips And this year they have a pizza menu And so you tasted that like pillowy focaccia from there. So, you know that gorgeous gorgeous pizza oven that they have and They made this You margarita pizza that is so thin but also still has like a really nice chew to it and a crunch and then it had like Fresno chilies on it. It was so yummy and perfectly balanced and the dough was delicious and crispy, mmm,

Diane:

At this point you're an affiliate.

Adina:

I know,

Diane:

Wait, same wavelength as Monaro over here, I guess. I also made sourdough pizza for the first time a couple of nights ago. And

Adina:

at her go, gang.

Diane:

Neil grilled it and I had a little bit of a hangry, like, pregnancy rage spiral because we went for a walk while the grill was heating up. We have the green egg charcoal and we thought it would be super hot. We'll throw the, the dough, the pies on for like 10 minutes or less. It'd be great. Well, the grill wasn't hot enough and it just, there was something happened and I was so hungry and was getting so frustrated. So when you asked for pictures, I was like, once it was done, we just ate it. But at one point I thought it was going to get burned and I thought, if. The dough that I was laboring over

Adina:

Slaved over.

Diane:

I will cry and maybe burn the house down. Um, but I put arugula on

Adina:

you need a pizza oven.

Diane:

Yeah, well actually, in my rage, and this is also right before Amazon Prime Day where I got it, went in on that like a menace, I was like, we need a pizza oven and I need a gas grill, this wouldn't have happened if we had a gas grill. But it all worked out, and it was good, we're definitely going to try it again. It was more chewy than I think I would have liked, um, the dough was nice and bubbly before I put it on, before Neil put it on, but I want to play with it a little bit more.

Adina:

Takes time, you know?

Diane:

It was a bit more So far, the comfort level is the cookies, and I'm gonna try crackers that Adina sent me next as a sourdough discard recipe.

Adina:

I will say the main thing with the crackers is roll them even thinner than you think. Like they need to be like a sheet of paper for them to come out

Diane:

Ooh, okay. Good to know.

Adina:

That's, yeah, I usually do, like, parchment paper on the bottom and the top when I roll out the crackers. And

Diane:

cause it gets

Adina:

thin, as thin as you can get them.

Diane:

And it's it's too humid here, honestly, but Yeah, on that front, media Uh, what we're

Adina:

Media.

Diane:

Yeah,

Adina:

Well, you go first, because mine is

Diane:

Mine's a

Adina:

a good segue into the episode.

Diane:

mine's a quickie. So, it's on the book front, of course, but if anyone's looking for a fun, just cozy, sweet romance, uh, darling relationship and some good representation, I'm buddy reading Out on a Limb with my friend Mary. We've read a couple of books together. The last pick was mine. It was the sci fi Artificial Wisdom that I mentioned. But now we're reading this book called Out on a Limb, and This, um, the characters are just so cute. There's a one night stand and the resulting unplanned pregnancy. And, yeah,

Adina:

Oh, I guess yours was, yours was also episode specific.

Diane:

this is, yeah, this is episode specific. And it's, it's turning out so far in the best way. And this romance is just so cute because there are so many romance authors that are popular in the summer, like Emily Henry. I, and I do like her, but then there are other popular authors like Colleen Hoover, who is not for me. And it's just, there's always like some falling out with the, the romantically, the romantic couple and, Just, it's just a healthy relationship so far. Like, it was unplanned, but you're like seeing these two characters evolve and um, potentially co parent. I don't know, I'm like 40 percent through, so we'll see. And someone doesn't have a leg, one of them doesn't have a leg, and she also has um, a disability, the other female main character. And it's nice to see that representation, but like, the book isn't about them having this disability, you know, which is

Adina:

I love that.

Diane:

to see. Yeah. Out on a Limb by Hannah Bonham Young, I think. So I'll link it.

Adina:

All right, good stuff. Um mine Mine is i'm watching the new season of the bear. I feel like I may have mentioned that already this season, but the reason I Not cozy. The reason I bring it up specifically today is because the episode we watched last night was natalie sugar is in labor so spoilers for the bear I But basically she goes into labor. She's alone and she is calling everyone in her life. She's calling Carmi. She's calling everyone that works at the restaurant. She's calling anyone that has ever meant anything to her and no one is picking up their phone. And so she against her better judgment calls her mother, who she has a very rocky relationship with and a big blow up in the last. Um, and they have a very, their relationship is very rocky and Natalie does things she is not interested in doing to just like please the mom, you know, like she's been constantly doing things that she does not want to be doing to please the mom. And this plays out like in the labor room, like the mom ends up bringing her to the hospital and I can't think of a worse dynamic

Diane:

think I'd rather be alone if I was in that

Adina:

Accompanying me, exactly. Um, not my mother, meaning this mother, but I wouldn't want my mother at my birth. She's great. Just, it's not for me. Um, and it was very funny because as you know, from listening to this podcast, We are specific. We're a type of way. And I cannot be that type of, I cannot not be that type of way. And we're watching this episode and Donnie like hates childbirth labor content on television. And I was like, I'm actually enjoying the episode. I am just struggling with how disempowered this woman is. It's breaking my heart. How many women. Yes, like how many women show up to a hospital like this and, you know, if the nurse or doctor even asks them their birth plan and they say, Oh, you know, I kind of want to do it without an epidural. Like, okay, good luck, sweetie. Like if you walk in there and say that without a plan, without having done childbirth education, without having come up with how you're going to approach pain, without, you the support of a doula or an advocate, um, without a supportive partner, you know, like it's just that obviously wasn't the point of the episode and it was an excellent episode of television. The way these two characters hashed this thing out, like during her contractions and grew together and grew as people, but it was just hard to watch and not the conversations you need

Diane:

You're like that new emoji. That's like,

Adina:

Yeah, exactly. And Donnie was like, can you not be like this? And the whole time I was just like this poor disempowered woman, somebody get her

Diane:

want to go in there and just fight?

Adina:

I just kept being like, Natalie should have had her baby at home.

Diane:

She should have just free birthed. If she free birthed at home, this wouldn't have happened. Yeah, oh my gosh. That, I mean, I, I do want to eventually come back to watching The Bear, but Anything that makes me and my nervous system feel super stressy is off the table right now, like, no intense thriller reads for me right now, nothing scary. I actually, we were gonna choose a different book for buddy read and my friend Mary, or no, I was going to rent this book. Book to just read on my own and my friend mary was like there's a lot of 1700s home birth But like traumatic content in that book. So maybe you don't read that right now. So Both of our media can some uh pics for this week really fit with this episode

Adina:

Yeah, this is, I'm glad we're having this conversation because, you know, we could go on and on. We are a type of way and we just want you to feel supported and empowered in your decisions, in your body, and to feel like you can set the boundaries that you need to set because people are saying things to pregnant people

Diane:

Yeah, they just really like

Adina:

and we need to talk about it.

Diane:

And I really think that even if you're, let's say you are pregnant, you are planning to be pregnant, you've gone through it and like, you wish that you had some of the things that we, the tools we share in this episode back then, like that can certainly help you. But I also think that some of the things we share, especially around sticking up for yourself, advocating for yourself, setting boundaries also are relevant to people who are not pregnant or not planning to catch a baby at any point. Hope this gives you some confidence for setting those.

Adina:

especially if you are a woman of childbearing age, then like, and you don't want children,

Diane:

we could do a whole,

Adina:

strong boundaries as well,

Diane:

I mean, I had to practice those over and over and In preparing for this episode, I put up a question box and also had just questions from a lot of women after I announced my pregnancy about child free to pregnancy, that journey, so that definitely could be another episode in itself. But yeah, when you're child free or just like in the years, in these years, people just really say the dumbest, most unhinged, rude shit to you and you gotta be prepared.

Adina:

be prepared. Um, we all saw Diane set a very firm boundary on her stories. If you follow along on Instagram. Uh, so we're definitely going to dive into that because this conversation is important. So I think we should get into

Diane:

Yeah. Let's get into it. Some people responding to that, uh, story that I put up after the announcement, just a boundary with love. Like I know that most things come from a good place. I want to say that too, but sometimes there are some comments that come out of left field and you really, in pregnancy, especially have to. Mind your mental peace. So this was part of that and some people responded to that saying I wish I knew some of this stuff or like had set this boundary when I was pregnant and so we want to equip you with those tools. And I'm going to go through in this episode some common comments that I received as well as some that you shared in the DMs and in my question box because some of them are quite common, unfortunately. And I also want to say too that I'm not singling anyone out. Perhaps you might have said one of these either to me or to other pregnant women in the past and you're like, Oh, I didn't even think about that. Like that happens. And, uh, we're going to have fun with some of these. We know that a lot of people, I would say most people mean well when they say some of these and then there are like aunties and just there are people, but I think most people will have good intentions. And I also say it depends on relationship to that. For example, like I love a compliment, like you don't gotta stop those from coming, but um, like the boobs are boobin like, they're, it's just facts, the boobs are boobin a friend called me a boob queen, and I was like, oh thank you, um, but an almost stranger, this happened a couple of times, saying like, I thought that you got your breasts done, like, That's a weird thing to say. That's a weird thing to say. So it really depends on the context and the person. So in this episode, I'm going to share common comments, some things that you were sent, and I'll share some responses. And the energy really varies, folks. Like sometimes I'm feeling really abundant and mature, and there have been times, some of the things I'm going to give you as examples, where I had some unhinged replies. So choose which one.

Adina:

Choose your own

Diane:

Choose your adventure. Yeah, choose your adventure. So let's get into it. Some dumb shit people say. And Adina, please share if like there's anything like funny or just unhinged you've had. Um, I know you'll, you'll hop in too. So far and away the most common one that I got and maybe the most annoying from friends, from family. I thought you weren't having kids. Was this a surprise?

Adina:

Surprise.

Diane:

Was this unplanned? Yeah, a couple people. Was this unplanned? And a few people sent that in the DMs that they maybe were childfree or just quiet about their plans because you don't need to tell everybody we're trying for a baby because that comes with its own like Weird visuals, like we're just hitting it all the time,

Adina:

we're out there trying. We're all just out there trying.

Diane:

Like, so some people say this and I think because I was child free for a long time. And again, that could be a separate episode. And I used to say how I never wanted kids. Um, but I also didn't share when we were starting to think towards it. Now, someone said

Adina:

hold on. Pause for a second. There's a lot of noise outside my door. It sounds like heels

Diane:

like there,

Adina:

these girls are, they're done with their pregame and they're heading out or more people are coming.

Diane:

Oh, that's right. Cause the door is right across from that guest room. Isn't it? Yeah.

Adina:

This is outrageous.

Diane:

How many people are in there? Surely they can only have like a certain number of

Adina:

I actually think it's the owner of the Airbnb's daughter having a party.

Diane:

Do you ever sit on your patio and just watch them because I'd be so noisy?

Adina:

Sometimes. But they could see me. They're youths. Okay, I think we're safe to continue. I'm gonna keep all that

Diane:

Yeah, go ahead, keep it in. Anyway, so someone said, like right after I said we're expecting a baby, um, Was this a surprise? I thought you were gonna have kids. And I said, still time to change my mind. And I,

Adina:

I'm sure they love

Diane:

yeah, and that one's gonna piss some people off. But I'm like, if you're gonna say something crazy, I'm gonna say something crazy back. Like. And I have a dark sense of humor. So for me, sometimes that fits. I know that can rub people the wrong, very wrong ways, uh, because I know it's pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy loss, terminating pregnancy is very touchy. But for me, it's not that deep. And if you're going to say something like that, I might say that. Um, or, you know, if this was not, was unplanned or unwanted, you wouldn't be hearing about it. But also just people can change their mind. People can change their minds about things. And I don't know why that would be. Something that you would think to say, like, was this unplanned? Was this an accident? A surprise? So weird. And another one, this one is a bit more harmless and I think this comes from a good place. But people will say, I knew it.

Adina:

Yeah, this is very common.

Diane:

Yeah, a lot of people are saying that they, they received one like this and I really, it just makes me feel icky because you know, you're trying to, especially if you want to get to a certain point in your pregnancy where you feel comfortable sharing this news, like trying to hide things perhaps, and just, it's coming with a lot of feelings that you're processing and then for people to be like, I knew it. No you didn't. No you didn't.

Adina:

Also, like, if you did It doesn't make me feel

Diane:

No, no. So maybe just congrats is a great thing to say, or you must be excited. Um, I think some people who said this to me said that they just have this feeling or this intuition and they just know, just like they predict the, the, the sex of the baby that someone's having. Um, but I didn't like it. It was kind of like, I knew it. I knew it. Um, and with

Adina:

I know things.

Diane:

And that

Adina:

You don't know things. I know things.

Diane:

And a couple people, um, after I put up that message, that boundary and their, their sweethearts, like I know their heart, I know they didn't really mean anything by it. And they're just like, I had a feeling, or I wondered. Uh, said something to me and, and yeah, that didn't really bother you as much, but it's some, it's sometimes the attitude and the context behind it.

Adina:

Exactly. That's like you were saying about the relationships. Like it's not that everyone who says that they knew you were pregnant.

Diane:

But that brings me into the one that is more offensive, is when they say, I knew it. And several women put this in the question box, or the, the response box. Thing of my story saying, Oh, well, I knew it. Cause you're, you're breaking out more or your face. Someone said this to me, your face look puffier. And I just thought maybe you're

Adina:

Mm hmm.

Diane:

I'm like, I made a lot of salt. If he just, I was dehydrated. Why would you say that? And, um, this probably applies more for further along in pregnancy, but several women were saying people were guessing on if it was a boy or a girl based on how they're carrying, you know, those wives tales like, well, I think it's a boy because you're carrying this way. Or, um, is it a girl? Because girls steal your beauty.

Adina:

They steal it. They steal your beauty.

Diane:

a weird

Adina:

So you look like shit. I'm looking at you. You look like shit. It's a girl.

Diane:

Yeah, why would you say that to anybody? Well, you must be having a girl because you've always been ugly, pregnant or not. Like what?

Adina:

I got that when I was pregnant with Minnie and I guess I looked like shit.

Diane:

It's like when people say outside of pregnancy, you look tired. What did we want to achieve by telling me that?

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

out outside of pregnancy, so. I don't know. Was I having a girl then? Who knows. But just,

Adina:

I do. I do think pregnancy is like this weird thing where it like, the rules of how you interact with a human don't apply. You Yeah, people used to touch my belly when I was pregnant with Minnie on the subway in New York

Diane:

strangers. Stop, strangers.

Adina:

Strangers.

Diane:

Oh, that is violating.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

I don't like that.

Adina:

I don't it's all of our baby.

Diane:

Yeah, it's our, or when

Adina:

Everyone in New York.

Diane:

excited for our baby, like it's mine. They are mine.

Adina:

It's ours.

Diane:

Yeah, the how you're carrying is so weird. Like it must be a boy, boy because of how high. I don't know. We'll see what the test says. Okay.

Adina:

Yeah, that one.

Diane:

Yeah, someone, there were a couple of my DMs, Your face look different. Your face is puffy. Shut up. That's what I said. Or I just block someone when someone says something like that.

Adina:

Yeah. Oh, this is what I wanted to say. I mean, this is more like third trimester stuff. I know this isn't like what you're experiencing right now, but like I was saying about how the rules of being a human don't apply when you're talking to a pregnant woman, it's like people. Think it's okay to talk about the size of a pregnant woman. Like, Oh my God, is it twins? Or like

Diane:

you sure?

Adina:

Yeah, the flip side of that also is like I have had people close to me who were carrying really small and it would make them so anxious when people would say that like for some reason our society think that's a compliment like oh my god you don't even look pregnant from this from the back or

Diane:

you are, any time is Right.

Adina:

but you in your distorted perception of things may think you're giving someone a compliment which it's just a weird kind of Thing to think that's a compliment. So just like check yourself, but it might really offend them or make them anxious because I've had many people close to me who have, were carrying really small and, and then would think like, what's wrong with the baby? Why, why do people keep saying that? You know, is something wrong? Um,

Diane:

And maybe they are dealing with something that you don't know about. It's just, don't comment on that. You can, some things that you could say instead, you're carrying beautifully or just nothing at all. Like nothing at all is great too about their body or your glowing is a great one that you can, that has nothing to do with size, but, um, already a couple of comments I've received or questions rather is how much weight have you gained so far that someone asked me that

Adina:

what? Hi.

Diane:

I don't know. I don't know how much I weighed pre pregnancy. Um, and a couple of responses here is kind of. Choose your own adventure here, but one that's maybe more mature. noticed you make comments about weight. Why do you think that is? That one's a little bit more sassy because it's, you know, turning around, why do you care so much? Um,

Adina:

their therapist.

Diane:

why do you think that is? And I don't really care for them to answer, but I think then they really realize, wow, what a stupid thing that I just said. Another one, uh, this one isn't a question, but just one that I've used is, I don't care about weight, let's talk about something else. Or you could just blank stare at them.

Adina:

That's the one I usually go for, or I just walk away. Which is also socially

Diane:

The stare or walking away.

Adina:

I'm always worried about what would come out of my mouth if I tried to respond, so sometimes I just will

Diane:

Yeah, instead of choosing violence, you're like, I'll just remove myself. It's so strange,

Adina:

yeah, sometimes if I do stuff like that, Donnie will just be like, you can't just like walk away from someone while they're talking to you.

Diane:

Yeah,

Adina:

What would have happened if I stayed here would have been worse.

Diane:

yes, I had several women who said that family, friends, there's always like an auntie, you know, an auntie that's like, oh, you're so big, or, you know, That's, that's what Filipino auntie impression or how much have you gained? Yeah, um, and just how diet culture really likes to flare up because your whole life you're taught that you have to be so small and then Even in pregnancy, you're supposed to be small or it's like, oh, you're so big. Oh, wow. You're so big. Look at that belly and I really wish people could just not When it comes to weight, yeah. Yeah, so diet culture continues in pregnancy, unfortunately Another one that I've encountered already a few times is telling someone I'm pregnant and right after the congrats is telling me the most traumatic birth story Ever. Unprompted and in detail. And once I like couldn't get away and I'm just like, I don't know what was even on my face, but it was just eye twitching, perhaps I don't need to know all this. And on the one hand, I hope that they heal and they're, they're sharing this. Cause I'm sure it was traumatic. And as we've talked about on past episodes about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, like women are just kind of like set on their way, like without much support afterwards or.

Adina:

Right. Like

Diane:

Which

Adina:

also the, you should be so grateful that you have a healthy baby. So like your experience in this does not matter at all.

Diane:

Yeah. That, um,

Adina:

like you're so lucky, that's like the, you know, what everyone

Diane:

but you have a

Adina:

try to ever talk about your traumatic experience.

Diane:

it was important, but I think that it's not the time or place to, to share it with someone who's excited about sharing their news. Um, so I hope that they have a support system, but in that moment, it's not me, especially if we're like casually out somewhere and you're like, Oh, well, I hemorrhaged and this happened and then this happened. Cause I don't really know what the, what, what the goal is with that, except to unload on me. Trauma dump.

Adina:

Yes. Yes, that's exactly what that is. And also I think, not even just traumatic, but just like, people often need to make everything about themselves. And so, if you are sharing your news, it's like, how Can I make this about me? Let me tell you something about me though.

Diane:

Yeah, like, I knew

Adina:

I actually, I will never forget this. I was in a hospital bed having just delivered Minnie and someone who called me to say congratulations just went on a 20 minute rant of her birth stories. And I was just like, Gotta go, thanks for calling.

Diane:

So anyway, oh, there's static, you're breaking up. You hang up. And with this one specifically, I'm reminded of other situations, right? Like, imagine if when people said they got engaged, that, Someone who was going through a breakup or a divorce immediately launched into that story. Like, oh, we're so excited. We just got engaged. Well, let me tell you about my messy divorce. Like, it would be so weird, right? I'm sure someone listening has encountered that though, like, actually. So maybe it's happened to someone. But you don't hear about that as often as people giving unsolicited, like, really Oh, sorry. That was my starter. Traumatic stories.

Adina:

What have you done?

Diane:

a fruit fly that is like trying to go after my starter in here. Don't start with me. Yes. Yeah. I was asking chatGBT, like, it was Shabbat, I think, and I couldn't ask Adina sourdough questions, so I was asking chatGBT, like, how do I keep these fruit flies out of here? It's like, get rid of the fruit flies. It said get rid of the fruit flies. It said I could use a fermentation lid, perhaps, instead of loosely putting this Rayo's lid on

Adina:

Mm hmm.

Diane:

Maybe that's an option. It's going to go in the fridge. Do I tighten it up in the fridge?

Adina:

Either way is fine.

Diane:

Sorry. I was, I was gesticulating about messy divorces and traumatic births. But yeah. So maybe don't trauma dump. This next one. I know that people say they hear this throughout pregnancy and I am preparing myself for that is just wait. I'm You're never going to sleep again, or just wait, you'll feel worse. And first trimester, I know everybody is different. And I was fortunate that I didn't feel like nausea, vomiting. I didn't feel that, um, like I thought that I would, and I would tell people I'm feeling great when they ask how I'm feeling, feeling great, haven't vomited. Well, it'll come, it'll come. Someone said, I was like, well, and it didn't, but even if it did, Why do we have to say just wait? What if we do just waits that are like, just wait until you get those baby snuggles? Or like, just positive things. Just wait until, you know, like, why does it always have to be a just wait? You're gonna

Adina:

It reminds me of, um, Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I do love that the like positive just waits, but, um, it reminds me of that real, we shared of Andy Samberg. He's like, welcome to hell.

Diane:

It's like, it's gonna be the best thing. And it's like, haha, tricked you.

Adina:

And also the funniest thing about that is that real totally went viral and you know, once it goes viral, the crazies come out. And some of the comments toward the latter half of the virality are people being like, Just being crazies. Just being crazies about like, why do we have to speak like this? And it's just like, because it's funny.

Diane:

It was a funny clip. I think we shared it on GYST and it kind of went mini viral again.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

And another one too, and this kind of leads into the next segment where we're going to talk about boundaries, round announcement, your pregnancy in general. So after some people have heard my intentions, my provider's plan, my approach, my approach to pregnancy, which might not be like the traditional mainstream experiences, aren't you worried about insert Some mainstream fear mongering. Well, aren't you worried about this? And that's why I don't share a lot of my intentions or plans with a lot of people including some friends and family or Specifically more family side for this one

Adina:

Yep.

Diane:

because I think here I mean we're we're talking about sourdough and I know a lot of our girlies Gotta starter, a lot of them are

Adina:

This is a safe space.

Diane:

space. So it's funny how I just said like, I won't share a lot of my intentions or birth preferences with people, but then I'll share them with like, 2, 000 of like, like minded girlies. Cause We're friends.

Adina:

It's just we're specific, you know?

Diane:

So with that in mind, shall we talk about setting boundaries just around announcement of your pregnancy or maybe it's around like health in general or how you're approaching your pregnancy. So yeah, I mentioned I don't share plan intentions with certain people, but that's also because I just, I don't need to leak energy explaining myself or fighting about choices. And this is something I can expand on more in like the timing, child free to pregnancy and like my. Like, personal choices, but I feel like at this age, I'm a lot more confident and secure in myself and aware of myself and what's right for me. Whereas five years ago or more, I may have been more vulnerable or open to like, asking for feedback from people who I didn't need or want it from, you know? Yeah.

Adina:

approach also is like, I am more private, but then if I do choose to share something. I will immediately shut down feedback by making the most extreme joke about it, you know? Like, I'll always be like, yeah, I have my babies at home because I'm a witch,

Diane:

Or what was the Jim Gaffigan one? Yeah, I

Adina:

Yeah, it's like,

Diane:

on purpose.

Adina:

yeah, that, we have to, we should post that again. It's so good. Um, yeah, it's like, what? My wife didn't want to give birth in a gown somebody died in yesterday?

Diane:

Yeah, and it's, yeah, all about like knowing yourself and what feels, what feels safe for you. Um, it's funny when I put up that, that boundary after the announcement, I got a message from my friend Tamasha and she was like, as soon as I saw the good news, I was happy, but also I knew Diane's going to go Virgo mode on them and set them straight before it starts reeling it, not open to feedback.

Adina:

When I said I was open to feedback, I meant you could give me a

Diane:

Yes, I do love that feedback. So when I was talking about like, let's not ask Diane if she had a breast dog, like, yes that. But like, I'll still take compliments. Like, it's fine. You can tell me I'm glowing.

Adina:

Tell me the tatas are poppin.

Diane:

They are. Side note, the CRZ yoga body suits or rompers, I call them my wrestling onesies. Great. I just sized up one

Adina:

By the way, with those headphones, like you literally look like you're ready to wrestle.

Diane:

Oh, yeah, cuz don't they wear it? I could tackle someone on the ground if they say something stupid to me at any, but let's see if I can show them. It has, this one has pockets and so CRZ yoga. Oh my gosh. Sorry, Doug, on Amazon. I'm not gonna be able

Adina:

You don't find the material too sweaty.

Diane:

No, I did get really sweaty. I went on a walk with a friend today and her daughters and I got sweaty, but it's also very hot and humid. Um, they have bright colors. So I don't know if I would do the light colors. But I also am

Adina:

Are they squat proof? We gotta

Diane:

are squat proof, I am someone who doesn't care if I have butt sweat. Like someone, I think, thought I wore a dark thong under leggings once at the gym and she tried to tell me, like, I love that she was looking out, right? But I'm like, oh it's just my sweaty ass.

Adina:

By the way, that's one of my favorite things about living here. Like in America, I always felt like I had to like, Conceal my sweat and everyone here is just sweating in the

Diane:

like, in France? Or are they sweating but they,

Adina:

people are, some people are stinky, but everyone is sweating and nobody cares. Like I do not even, I don't even give it a second thought if I am just like covered in my own sweat, you know,

Diane:

Wait, that reminds me, can I talk shit about France real quick? Like, real quick.

Adina:

sure the French are going to come for

Diane:

well, I, I saw this TikTok and it made me like cackle just because I wasn't expecting the attitude. Uh, this guy was like, I don't even know why like people want to go to France. Like all of y'all stink. You stink. And you're talking like, buh, buh, buh, baguette croissant. And so I saw that one and he's like, like, y'all stink. Like, I don't care what you think of me as an American. And then later I saw one of his other videos responding to the critique. He's like, the French people have found my comments, but y'all are stinky and bock, bock, bock to you. He's like, you stink.

Adina:

people stink. It's fine.

Diane:

If you're using natural deodorant, reapply it. But yeah, the CRZ Yoga, the romper is great. The boobies are popping. So I just sized up one. But I think that this will work great. for the rest of the summer. We'll see. Um,

Adina:

Yeah, I had a bike shorts from CRZ Yoga and I did not like them.

Diane:

on going to Lululemon because they now have leggings that don't have the front seam.

Adina:

I saw that big

Diane:

Why did it take them so long? You like the,

Adina:

don't know.

Diane:

the front wedgie?

Adina:

I don't find it to be such a wedgie. I just.

Diane:

this one doesn't have a front seam.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

one from them, I think, and it did have a front seam, but it didn't go up the kitty. Yeah, if you're watching the YouTube, that's my motion of a I just can't have it up there. I can't. Um, anyway,

Adina:

just, I think the lululemons are the goat, and I was dumb for trying to not spend money on them, and then I spent all my money on them because they are just comfy, and I love them, and they don't restrict my breathing, and nothing

Diane:

cage has already changed, I think, because, I mean, the boobs have definitely gotten bigger, but I noticed like bands on things are just way too tight.

Adina:

Yes, I just recorded a bonus video for STHH Postpartum about my clothing recommendations for the postpartum season.

Diane:

Ooh.

Adina:

you got to know these things, ladies.

Diane:

do like, I mean, I like being thrifty in some areas, but I do like nice active wear. This, these are just fun. And actually the quality for the rompers. I was. Impressed! Um, so, oh gosh, another thing here, some boundaries. Someone asked what books I learned from pre pregnancy, so this is relevant. Um, I am conscious about what I'm consuming, especially in pregnancy, but I also think things are a little bit different Adina and I, because I support my clients through preconception, pregnancy, and postpartum, and have as a nutritional therapist for a few years. Now I'm just, like, also experiencing it myself. So I feel like just through work, I've had to learn and, um, learn around supporting pregnancy nourishment, all that for a few years. But I did read a little bit of Expecting Better. I was curious about that one from Emily Oster, I think her, is the author's name, um, about certain tests and declining them. I found that that seemed to be pretty balanced and it does align with, um, values that I have for my pregnancy, but I didn't read it in full. Um, I honestly haven't read that much. I'm kind of winging it, um, and then leaning into, uh, experience that I have as a nutritional therapist, but I know that's not relevant for everyone, so if you are thinking about what to consume, you can consume this podcast if you're, if you're But like limit your, your, your input or your, your, um, sources. But, um, for example, like I'm not going to be going on TikTok and watching health, personalized health advice there. Um, the only thing I like for like TikTok and things for planning for pregnancy and baby is going there and using TikTok as a search engine, as we talked about last episode. So maybe for certain essentials I'm putting on registry or things like that, but I'm Yeah, really limiting stuff.

Adina:

I would say steer clear of Tik TOK if you can't set good boundaries. Like if you know, you're going to be the person who like opens Tik TOK to use it as a search engine. And then you see a traumatic birth story and you kind of watched too many minutes of it. Like maybe delete your Tik

Diane:

It'll give you more I found it helpful for, um, I was trying to choose an app just for tracking. pregnancy and I found a couple of reviews. I like that gen I mean the videos are shorter there, but this leads me into the next one is, is during pregnancy I'm being really ruthless about who I accept advice or opinions from and so in doing that, that, that, helped me find my providers. And I know for me, I care about opinions and advice from the provider that I chose, Neil, because he's baby daddy, my partner. And I might, there are a couple of friends like Adina and our friend Kim, like I will float, uh, questions and ask for advice there because I really value their approach. Uh, we have similar mindset versus for me personally, like My mom, lover, she's very into Western medicine, we have different approaches or opinions about health and health care. So, I don't actually accept a lot of that from, from her. Um, and I know that's different because some people are really close with and value their mom's approach or opinions about pregnancy.

Adina:

Yes, knowing who to talk to is definitely important and even people that you are like like minded and you think you're aligned with regarding health in general, you may be surprised to find out that like, as you start to emerge into the mother that you're going to become that like, those things don't align or like you thought. You are going to appreciate someone's advice. And then they start to share. And you're like, actually, it doesn't really feel good in my body. Like, I don't maybe, you know, I think something me and my friend had to talk about a lot is like, there's these like varying degrees of like crunchiness, you know, and like, you can be so aligned with someone on the nutrition stuff or, you know, and then all of a sudden, like you're hanging out with them and parenting with them and you're just like, Oh, We do this differently.

Diane:

We have a different

Adina:

You know, and that's, it's fine to have friends that do things differently, or it's fine to have friends that are, you go to for one thing and not other things. Um, but just being very mindful of that and not assuming that because you have one thing in common, that you have this thing in common with them as well.

Diane:

completely, and I, I just really wanted to keep, that circle or who I get advice from very, very lean because I think when you have a lot of noise, it's, it gets confusing for you. It gets overwhelming for you. If I was someone who was working with a nutritional therapist, like, you know, I would be like, working with them, getting advice from them, and then maybe like OB or midwife alongside, like that's a nice, that can be a nice care team there. And we can always talk about that stuff more at length, but that you don't need the opinions of your three besties and then your neighbor and your auntie. And you're like, it's just so much to take in when you're probably feeling all kinds of feels and overwhelmed in other ways. So I found that keeping it really lean has really helped me with my mental peace. And so. When some people have offered me unsolicited feedback or suggestions about, I don't know, testing, birth plan, providers, whatever, I just say, I'm not open to feedback on X, X, whatever that is, right now. So names, advice, um, you know, I don't know, pregnancy items, whatever. Not open to feedback right now. And uncomfy, or maybe, especially if we're covering People Pleaser. and worried about what people think. You might feel like you

Adina:

Now's the time!

Diane:

might feel like you need to keep saying more, but you know, thank you, but da da da da da. No, I'm not open to feedback right now. Thank you though. That's it. That's it. Yeah, so, some things on choosing support, uh, kind of touch on this a little bit, but I know that I do have some friends from when I was, like, totally child free, um, who I don't talk about much with, uh, about this with, and certainly I have some child free friends who are super excited for me, but I have also observed some of my relationships, my friendships, that have changed or will change or there are some people in my life who really hate kids. I don't know, it's weird, but they, they do and that, that's okay. Um, and then I have some child free friends who love kids and like have really surprised me with how like supportive and interested they are. So I might share more with them, but I also don't want to like overwhelm certain friends. Like they don't need to know all the pregnancy things, like knowing who my support system. Is and who feels safe has been really helpful

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

Um, and also with choosing support is choosing one to share. So this is really personal Um, and I can only speak to my experience, but for me, I waited until like 12 weeks publicly um, some people choose to do that also with their friends and family, especially if maybe struggled with fertility, have experienced losses before. Personally, I shared with my really close friends, like, Adina knew like, oh, less than a week after I took my first test, um, pretty early. And for me, that was because I knew that these were the women, these were the friends or the family that I would want to support me. Through a loss and I wouldn't want to have shared that, hey I had a loss and oh by the way I was pregnant because I knew that I could count on their love and support through, through all of that.

Adina:

Yeah, I've shared on previous episodes about my experience with my loss before Minnie was born, and I do love seeing the trend of more people sharing sooner publicly for that reason. I think that, I shared previously that that, that experience was so isolating because I didn't know that other people had gone through it. And especially because it was prior to my first baby, it was like, Oh, like, am I broken? Like, this is going to work. Like, you know, it's just, and I think that that openness, even if it's just with close friends, like it doesn't have to be a public announcement, but. You might be surprised at how more supported you feel if you can share that experience with someone. Um,

Diane:

Yeah, that's what felt right for me. It was, I knew, and I knew I can't shut up. So I was like, there's no way I'm gonna like, go three, a few months without telling Adina. Um,

Adina:

a

Diane:

Yeah, so actually I think I told you before I told my folks, but that was because my, my parents live states away and I see them like once, maybe twice a year and they ended up coming to visit. So I told them in person when they were here and it was pretty early on, but I knew that I would tell my mom if, if there was a loss to, and that I could, I wanted her to know about that and didn't know when I would see her next. So I thought, let's just do this in person. Um,

Adina:

I will also, I will also say another thing about that, not just regarding loss, but 12 weeks can be really rough. And. Societally, like, so many people are not comfortable sharing in those first 12 weeks. And I think that can be such a rough experience in itself. Where like, you're nauseous, you want to say no to a lot of invitations. Like, yeah. my world, like if I had to film stuff for work and I wasn't feeling quite right, or, you know, I wasn't showing up on stories as much or whatever it was that I normally do for work that I wasn't doing, cause I didn't feel up to it or, you know, it just can be a very weird experience. Whereas like, Perhaps it might feel better if you were just talking about it and then you didn't have to be so weird and like sneaky.

Diane:

it's just a lot of like, mental gymnastics to do when you're carrying this exciting but big secret or like, and all the things that come, come with it. Like, I have the privilege of working from home and I have a lot more flexibility than if someone has to navigate that around, around work. Yeah, I know that's, that could be hard. Um, but overall, I think things have been going. Feeling pretty good over here, um, and because I have been really consciously choosing mental peace and exercising boundaries. abundantly. So I know I shared in the scope of this episode some unhinged replies that I've had to comments, but really there are a few far in between, far in between. And most people are just super awesome, supportive, like when you announce, and I hope that's the case for any of you who are also, um, you Um, announcing big news like this. Um, but for some of those uncomfy conversations or questions that you receive, I want you to feel confident and good about setting boundaries, not people pleasing, because we want to leave you with this, that what matters most during your pregnancy is your health, your baby, and your experience through what is a big transition. Especially if it's your first time, like there is so much that I'm processing this first time around. Um, so be gentle with yourself.

Adina:

Yeah, it's a massive, massive identity shift. And I think that if tied to your identity for so long has been those people pleasing tendencies that cannot come with you into motherhood, you know, like there are so many, it's not just about the pregnancy. Of course that's a huge piece of it, but like there are decisions that you're going to make for your family that other people do not need to be involved in and other people do not need to give you their opinions. And so, you know, I think that pregnancy is a wonderful transition time to start exercising that and to start to set those boundaries and prioritize yourself, your health, your experience, your future family's experience, because.

Diane:

don't stop also, so it is a good

Adina:

It gets wacky here. Yeah.

Diane:

in my DMs is like, yeah, and it keeps going. So I gotta like, really shut it down and get comfortable shutting it down. I know it can be

Adina:

Shut it

Diane:

Yeah, I know it can be uncomfy to assert yourself, especially when this just seems to be such a normal, um, shared experience of people commenting on how you're carrying, the choices you make in pregnancy, or for your birth, or for later how you parent, but, um, you know, you can set a boundary and it doesn't mean you're a bad person, it doesn't mean that you're trying to be mean, um, but it really will In the end, help you protect your peace and that energy leaking that you're gonna need for other things. And Adina and I were chatting about how it is just, it's harder to hear your intuition too when you are taking information, advice, opinions from so many people or trying to learn about how to personalize your pregnancy and your choices by consuming the TikToks, like advice from 10 different people from all the different books. So it is a great time if you are able to, to, to work with someone. So if you're not sure how to modify your movement during pregnancy, or even how to have the energy to move, maybe you need something like STHH to get you sorted. Or if you're not sure how you should be eating what you should or shouldn't be eating in pregnancy, Maybe you need to work with me, HTMA reviewer or one on one, um, if that suits your fancy. So finding someone you trust is really, um, helpful and build your support system with a lot of intention there.

Adina:

Yeah. We talked about this on the last episode, but. Sometimes it's just about shutting out that noise. And like Diane was saying, like, you are amazing. You, your body was designed for this. You have such wonderful intuition. You are so intuitive and just getting away from some of that noise and setting those boundaries so that people can't bombard you with that noise can help you to. tap into that intuition and to hear yourself think and to hear yourself make those decisions. Um, so yeah, we love you. We're here for you.

Diane:

Mm

Adina:

We're witches. Yeah,

Diane:

um, if you have any fun, um, clapbacks that you want to share, um, if those are just funny ones, it doesn't have to be you at your best, it could just be hilarious, like, send them to me because some people were sending some really funny ones off to put on our story. Um, yeah.

Adina:

maybe we need to do, maybe we need to do a clip from this episode and call for them in the comments so we can get like a running list. Um, cause. People, people are saying stuff. Well, anyways, set your boundaries, stay sassy, stay hydrated and, uh, unclench your B hole. We love you. Bye.