Get Your Shit Together

Raw Doggin' It: A Positive First Time Unmedicated Home Birth

• Adina Rubin & Diane Teall • Season 4 • Episode 115

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In this episode of Get Your Shit Together we chat about:

🧡 Preparing for unmedicated birth: resources, building a team, fears

🧡 Diane’s birth story and birth bloopers

🧡 Mindset and pain management for labor and delivery

🧡 Listener questions, Adina’s pregnancy updates, postpartum meals and media


Episode Show Notes: www.getyourshittogetherpod.com/podcast/episode115 

Follow us on Instagram @getyourshittogetherpod

Watch GYST on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@getyourshittogetherpodcast

Connect with Diane:
Instagram: @dianeteall
Website: www.diteawellness.com
Enroll in Root Cause Reset (self-study): www.rcrprogram.com

Connect with Adina:
Instagram: @adinarubin_
Website: www.adinarubincoaching.com
STHH Prenatal Waitlist https://adina.myflodesk.com/prenatalwaitlist
STHH Postpartum https://sthh.circle.so/checkout/sthh-postpartum

Diane:

Hi! It's a bonus.

Adina:

It's a bonus.

Diane:

It's been a few months too and so we're a little rusty but we thought we can't not come in here and share this chit chat with the girlies.

Adina:

Yeah. How ya podcast? I

Diane:

Yeah, how do we, how do we do this? What is work? I don't know.

Adina:

think

Diane:

My desk was like, in all kinds of disarray from being on mat leave the last few months. I can't believe it's been almost three months. Wild.

Adina:

it's crazy. I feel like you've just undergone an identity shift.

Diane:

Yeah, major, just a little bit. And then you're about to on mat leave in like, What, a few weeks? Are you going to work right up until bebe?

Adina:

I guess we'll have to see. I mean, I'm like 30 weeks pregnant now and Was our last episode when we announced my pregnancy?

Diane:

Yeah, it was. You kind of just slid it in there at the end.

Adina:

that's really crazy. Um,

Diane:

So spoiler if you didn't hear that.

Adina:

yeah, I'm pregnant with baby number four, and my other three were all like, I went to 40 weeks plus. So who knows? You just never know.

Diane:

And we're a little early. Well, yeah, that's what we're chatting about today is how I, how I, uh, brought my little bebe home and how things have been going. you know, yeah, so much has changed. We're a little foggy, but baby's sleeping. caffeinated. I'm

Adina:

We love that for you.

Diane:

Yeah, love it, but we have to do our shoot the shit. Duh. First things first. Lots of media has happened over here, but, um, tell me a little bit more about what's been going going on over there. I know that you've been working on. Another baby that might be launching what this spring.

Adina:

Yeah, that's the hope. I mean, I think we chatted briefly about this on the last episode, but basically, STHH Prenatal is well underway. Veronica and I have been little programming bunnies just getting after it. I really, really, really want this program out into the world by this spring. Um, Mostly because I want to do all of the filming with a bump. is quite ambitious,

Diane:

Yeah, nothing like working under pressure, right?

Adina:

yeah, love it. I actually really do, but yeah, it's a lot, you know?

Diane:

You sent me a tweet and it was like I work under pressure or not at all,

Adina:

Yeah, it was like, yeah, it was like, strengths works well under pressure. Weaknesses.

Diane:

just doesn't.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

I'm glad that you can use the bump for STHH prenatal and that girlies are probably chomping at the bit for that one.

Adina:

Oh, it's so good. It is so good. Like every time Veronica and I wrap a meeting, we're just like, oh my God, this program is so good.

Diane:

you have a lot of ladies like ready to get preg just so they can use the program. I know I'll I mean I love to What I did for just regular level one until I got into the coaching program, but this is, this is outside of the club, right? So

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

nice. So exciting over here. I'm not working on anything except for like sewing projects. I finally have energy to do that. Uh, we won't go into it. This episode had easy breezy time as much as you could through pregnancy and pregnant. Birth and then I got sick. So now that I can use my hands and feel well, I'm sewing and thinking of all the projects that I want to do. Uh, and also while I'm on mat leave, we're going to be moving. I don't think I announced this in the last episode,

Adina:

You didn't. Diana has a lot going on.

Diane:

lot of exciting chaos, lots of good things, I guess. It just sometimes happens that way. We found a house after looking for several years and we happened to close five days after we had our baby and that was my first outing. Very brief outing.

Adina:

I feel like it always happens that way. It's just like, something about those energies.

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

shifts always bring all the big shifts. It's

Diane:

planets doing? I don't know, but we literally like went out to get keys and um, pose as a family on the porch and we went home and we have the luxury of not having to move quickly, like we can take our time. So. taking all the rest for the first 12 weeks here and then just getting things in order before we, we move. So have a lot going on before I can even think about coming back later this spring.

Adina:

so crazy. Like,

Diane:

Yeah. And then, um, tell me what you're consuming. food, all things.

Adina:

I think like, with, I wrote down very simple things because I had a feeling that like our catch up was just derail this episode. So I wanted to.

Diane:

reining it in right now. Spons.

Adina:

I know we gotta stay focused because we have a lot to cover. So basically, I mean on the food front, I don't even know where to begin. I, we've been getting after our scones in a very major way. I don't know if I spoke about this last season. I feel like I might have because like we had just started at that point, but now I'm so into them and I have perfected my process, which I'll share about here real quick. Basically, I'll, I can drop the recipe I've been using. I think it's Little Spoon Farms recipe.

Diane:

You sent it It's in the

Adina:

Yeah, you should make it. It is so, it's really simple to do and it's all about like keeping the temperatures right with scones. Like the butter has to be super cold when you grate it into the dough. But I have been loving lemon blueberry scones. So I'll make the dough the same way she describes for the chocolate chip scones, but then I'll grate in all this lemon zest and fold in blueberries. And then the thing with the blueberries, especially cause I usually use it. Frozen blueberries just for ease and having them on hand. But then if you put them in the fridge, they defrost and make the dough watery. So I make the dough, throw it right in the freezer and I bake it straight from frozen. That is the trick. They come out so good. And so we just been eating a lot of scones.

Diane:

that's a good bake. I just revived my starter. I was ready to have another, another pet, I guess, but I made a loaf yesterday and then English muffins. I really missed those because I tore through my freezer stash. One of my postpartum prep things that I did was breakfast sandwiches. it was a great idea. Great idea, I wish I had like 50 of them. I 14 of them right now. Yeah, they were so good.

Adina:

Yeah. My other big sour, is this a sourdough podcast? I guess.

Diane:

Yes,

Adina:

big, my other big sourdough thing I've done recently. I know I spoke about this on a previous episode because I was talking about how nostalgic it is, but I have been loving a cinnamon raisin loaf. Just loving it.

Diane:

love

Adina:

I always, you know, Oh, so good. I always make like two, usually I want to make a, I bake three loaves at a time. So I'll just make like a big batch of dough and I divide it into three. So I make two plain loaves. And then one of them has been getting cinnamon raisins. And I honestly think that it's better than most pastries. Just like a slice of crusty, fresh cinnamon raisin with butter and salt. Mm.

Diane:

that's for my childhood. I had a lot of cinnamon raisin bread with peanut day.

Adina:

So good.

Diane:

finally starting to get back on the dinner game and I've been doing a lot of meal and menu planning. I've shared some of my story, but a resource that I have been loving is what to cook when you don't feel like cooking. It's a cookbook that I got, I think this past fall, and I'm finally diving through it. And I like that it's divided into, if you have 15 minutes, 20, 15 minutes, 20, 45, and there's some good recipes. So far, I've made some cheesy beef flautas and some pesto meatballs. else? A few other things in there. And then my old go to is like Ina Garten's meatloaf is in heavy rotation. But I'm really liking being back, um, in the dinner game. And Neil was like, Chef Neil extraordinaire when I was sick. But also like the first couple weeks postpartum where I was just in bed. Definitely the first f week in or around my bed, as you've said here before. And he was amazing with the meals, but I really liked getting back in there. And I also made a yuzu roasted honey chicken the last couple of weeks, just marinating

Adina:

um,

Diane:

yuzu. It was a yuzu miso that I used from Trader Joe's. I think it was really

Adina:

that's hard to say.

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

You zoom, you want to like mix up the vowels.

Diane:

Right. Cause I'm trying to clean out our pantry and I'm discovering all these random sauces and things that I ambitiously Bought for who knows what, and I

Adina:

They're not all expired.

Diane:

No, there were some, there was some, I found an avocado oil from like three years ago. I was like, what was this? How did this sneak by here?

Adina:

Gross. Bye.

Diane:

Gross.

Adina:

I, um, I think someone might need to hear this. We are in a season of simplicity when it comes to the food. And I've definitely shared about that on this show before because we've been in that season for a while, but now more than ever, like, My kids have literally been eating either meatballs or burgers or sausage lunch basically every single day. And you know, yes, is it better to rotate your proteins? Sure. You get more nutrient variety. Is it also fine to just eat beef every day for lunch if your kids love it and it's really easy for you to do? Like, yup, that's fine.

Diane:

Yeah. I've just been switching up the seasoning. Like, I'm going to put

Adina:

literally.

Diane:

or in these meatballs, we're going to make it like a little bit of a, um, like a Greek meatball or we'll switch it up just a little bit. Same with the chicken. Like I'm going to throw these chicken thighs in a bag with some miso. Another time it was blending up some green onions and doing that. So it sounds a little complicated, but it's minimal prep. And nice result. Instant Pot 2 has been on heavy rotation for us.

Adina:

Yeah, I wish I was even doing that, like a sauce. It's literally been like rice, ground beef with some spices, and avocado, and that's the meal.

Diane:

Yeah, that's all you need. Um, what have you been watching on the media front? I'm sure there's been a lot over the last few

Adina:

Yeah. You know, there has been, but also not so much, because I have been in a season where, like, I need to be in my bed at 9pm. And I've just been like, the days are just, they're full and they're wonderful, but that's all I can give, you know? And especially with the way things still are here, it's just, it's hard to hold it all. And so I have been rewatching some Gilmore. And Donnie is not happy about it.

Diane:

He's like, no, I've had, I've had enough of this. No.

Adina:

of media. He wants us to consume. And I just, I don't have it, but we have watched a few things. Um, notably, let's see, I'm trying to think what the last things we spoke about on the show were. We watched the most recent season of sex live college girls. I thought it started out really strong and then it just like got a little weaker for me. Um, but there were definitely like enjoyable moments. I, we watched a real pain. Have you heard of it? Okay. So it's Jesse Eisenberg and the other Culkin, you know, the Culkin brother that's in succession, who's just like hilarious. I love him, but it's the two of them and their cousins. And they go on this like heritage trip to Poland to see like the concentration camps that their grandmother was in. And. It's just a really interesting story of, I think, like, it's not a holocaust movie. I wouldn't call it that.

Diane:

Yeah. I was going to

Adina:

more, no, it's more about, like, to me, it was about the Jewish experience of pain and how, like, we all carry this generational trauma and how it affects those of us differently. And I just think, like, Kieran Culkin is just delightful. Like, I think he's so funny, and I think he's a really strong actor, and I really enjoyed him as this character who was just trying to navigate this complicated experience of, you know, and he's not actually a Jew, but Jesse Eisenberg, like, spoke about the choice to cast him specifically. Um, I don't know. I really, I really enjoyed it. I thought it was, it was not, like, amazing, but it was thought provoking, and The performances were great. I highly recommend. Um, but then on a lighter note, um, did you see that it's the SNL 50th this weekend?

Diane:

not watch it. Or is it

Adina:

Okay. So it hasn't aired yet. It's tonight for you. Yes. So, but on Friday night, they did a concert of a lot of like the musical guests throughout the years peppered in with some comedy stuff and There was one bit, well, two bits that really were just wonderful. But one bit that literally was like my algorithm. It was like, did they make this just for me? It was Lady Gaga and Andy Samberg, like quite literally, like who else is this for?

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

And I don't want to spoil it. I think you should just watch it. It's just, I love the like incongruousness of what's going on. An amazing artist singing a ridiculous song, you know? So anyways, Gaga ends up singing some Lonely Island and it is just delightful. And then there was a Will Ferrell bit that really made me laugh also, but otherwise it was just like some cool music. I thought, um. Post Malone performed with Nirvana, you should watch that, it was like,

Diane:

wait

Adina:

so good. Yeah, yeah, like sang Smells Like Teen Spirit, it was amazing.

Diane:

brought Kurt back.

Adina:

No, it was amazing, it was really amazing, he was amazing, I did not know Post Malone could do that, like, it was really good.

Diane:

Oh, okay. I'll dabble. I on the other. I have not watched anything deep over here. I've, uh, we've gone through 90 day fiance. I went back to, uh, the early two thousands wife swap. Do you know this reality TV show? It's in

Adina:

I don't.

Diane:

everything.

Adina:

Lovely.

Diane:

a treat. You have to see it. So this is so messy. It's so messy. So they'll take two families with very different values or different situations. Like this is, um, Karen and she cleans her house for five hours a day. And you have this B roll of her, like scrubbing the baseboards. And then you see this other family, uh, where they never clean their house or there's a vegan family. Yeah. At this point, they called them Bohemian or whatever early 2000s. then they had

Adina:

All time.

Diane:

They had another family that loves guns and hunting and grilling. And so the moms will switch places and the moms will go to the other household and the kids, the whole family have to abide by her rules for a few days. Um, and people, as you can imagine, are very, um, resistant to the change and all kinds of stuff. unfurls. And after that, they, um, will switch. They'll go back where the moms have to follow the other households rules. Then at the end of the show, the couples will kind of recap their time. And it's just a whole mess of, I can't believe you run your home like this. And, um, it's just really funny. It's really funny. There was a clip that I'm thinking of that was passing around in social media a little bit ago where this boy was like, um, she is trying to take my bacon away. I think it was. And he's packing up his suitcase and leaving the house, this little boy. it's just nonsense, but I've been watching that. And as we prepare for our house or for our move, I've been watching Homeworthy, like home tours on YouTube. It's a, it's a YouTube channel, but some of these episodes, they're like really well produced. I think they have a whole TV crew and everything. And they're at least an hour long sometimes. And I'm, I'm nosy. And when I see these cool houses, like I want to see these cool houses. I want to know about that painting over there and how you chose this, um, really cool sculpture in your drawing room. So from like, here's an apartment in the Upper East Side to a tiny little eclectic home in Virginia, like just all kinds of different homes and people talking about, what's important, how they made it a home. So I really like it. And I get interior design inspo from watching these.

Adina:

That sounds delightful. And also on the, the wife front, the wife swap front here, I can imagine that being funny. And also, it would never happen now because they would just burn each other's houses down, you know?

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

gotten so intense.

Diane:

I know. I think there were some jokes in there or just like spats that they would have. And I think, I wonder how this would, would unfold now.

Adina:

I mean, I know exactly how it would. Have you ever been on the internet?

Diane:

Yeah. Yeah. So it was hilarious that there was one episode of like husband swap too. And it's just, it's so funny. I can't remember what it originally aired on, but it's on Hulu. So really deep. I think I also tried, I also tried outlander. a lot of girlies recommended, um, and the first season, okay, until the end. And now I can't get the theme song out of my head and it's just not for me, but

Adina:

Hmm.

Diane:

I'll find another show when I have more capacity.

Adina:

Bandwidth, you know, you can always text on me. I'll have something good for you.

Diane:

Yes, because I don't quite have the attention span for a movie, a drama,

Adina:

Who does?

Diane:

Sure. Yeah, it's definitely rewatch territory. So shall we get into the meat of things while we're both like kind of lucid?

Adina:

Still doing it. Let's go.

Diane:

Yeah. why this episode? Well, a lot of you were curious and judging from my DMS on Instagram, and there aren't a ton of unmedicated on purpose birth stories from first time moms out there when I was pregnant and trying to consume some to just hype myself up, prepare myself up. for, for the marathon of birth and delivery. And so, yeah, some listeners and ladies were curious about raw dog and birth, if that's something they're interested in, or if that's a preference or a goal that they have. And I also want to say, before we get into the meat of the episode, that any way that you have your baby is great. Like you do you, I know this is very much not for a lot of That's totally cool. And I respect, however, anyone chooses to have a baby. And this is the way that I hoping to about it. And, um, things weren't really well. And there were some things that went left, but it all worked out. So we'll talk about that too. So in this episode, we're going to talk about. Preparation, how I went about choosing a team, how to train for the marathon of birth, the mental training, especially where some things that people asked about, uh, actual birth story, how it went down, and we'll answer some questions that listeners submitted on Instagram. Yeah,

Adina:

also, I think another big reason of like why we're doing this episode is because Diane had a baby and the Yentas got to know, we need to hear the story. Um,

Diane:

I guess we mentioned when we were shooting the shit, but if you

Adina:

yeah,

Diane:

and weren't sure, yeah, she's

Adina:

so exciting. She here.

Diane:

hmm.

Adina:

and then another thing I want to say, cause like, I know you kind of mentioned this about like any way you have a baby is great, but I do think something I have experienced is just, Yeah. When people ask me about my home birth and I share more about it, it's similar to the conversation we've had many times around, like, if you are choosing to eat a certain way or to parent a certain way, and then people ask you about it, no matter how earnestly you respond, how neutrally you respond, people feel judged. They feel like, I feel like the response I am met with is immediately defensiveness for why. Oh, that I could never because of XYZ thing that happens in my birth. And so, know that as always, we are not coming to this space from a place of judgment. We are coming to this space to provide story and experience of a person who chose a birth a certain way. And it went the way that they planned, and it went the way that they chose. And that is a wonderful thing, and we're here to celebrate it. And we're curious, and we want to hear everything, and we're excited. if you

Diane:

it

Adina:

feel in any way judged by this conversation, please know that that is your own shit.

Diane:

was gonna be like worse when you're like, you feel judged, that's a you issue.

Adina:

on you, baby. Here's

Diane:

I'm glad you said that, though. Because I mean, a couple of things I would be scrolling TikTok and it was TikTok knew I was pregnant. So it was like, here's a traumatizing story of how you should

Adina:

the worst way this could possibly go.

Diane:

here's how you why you should never have a home birth because it's so dangerous. It's not. Um, And here are all these other awful stories or, or they are positive, but perhaps they are, um, told from moms who it was like their second or their third birth. And I just didn't hear as many from women who wanted to go into this, like their first time. So I want to share that perspective and my personal experience. So know that when I'm sharing that, I'm coming from that angle and. You can send questions, too, if there's anything else you want to know, if there's anything else you want to know, but let's dive, dive into it. And if you weren't aware, we'll link this in the show notes, we told one of Adina's first stories for Ori. I think it was um, baby Stu coming through and we realized like, made it sound like his name is Stu.

Adina:

It's not.

Diane:

What's a baby Stu? Well, anyway, we'll link it in the show notes, but Adina will, I'm sure, share some of her, um, experience in here, too. So

Adina:

Yes, tell us Diane, how did you prepare for this experience? Take us, take us way back.

Diane:

So throwing it way back, um, I listened to birth story podcasts. I would just search them on Spotify or Apple podcasts. And if you have even started to look into home birth, um, unmedicated birth, raw dog and birth, as I've started to call it, you'll come across Ina May's guide to childbirth. And that is like the OG resource. It's an older book. Um, but for me personally, it felt a little too commune cult vibes, uh, The birth stories in it, positive, but again, it felt a little, a little too crunch for me personally. And I also didn't resonate with a lot of. Like the Christian birth prep stuff. I know there are a lot of people in our audience probably who really resonated with that. It just didn't for me. Um, so one, I sought out a lot of positive stories. Anytime if I was on Tik TOK, I would see like a, this is how things went so horribly wrong. Um, I would just say not interested and seek

Adina:

Not interested in this. Popping

Diane:

already say what courses, what classes, and I think five plus years ago I might have thought I need to consume all of the classes, join all the classes, and didn't feel that way going into this. Um, in part because I had a lot of other shit going on. But also I, I, had friends and just intuition telling me like, you're gonna learn when you go through it, kind of thing. I knew that for me, I wanted to at least know like the different stages of labor because I didn't want to start and be like, uh, what is happening? So I wanted to know the different milestones, if you will, of labor. So our doula was actually an instructor for gentle birth. We did a little weekend class. I say a little class, but it was, it was a couple of long days. So, um, we learned like when to call our provider, like what a mucus plug is. That's a horrible And it needs a rebrand. I started calling it a birth, birth quirk or bloody show. Yeah, we're bloody show. Like I didn't get tickets for that. Like, what can we please rename them? But yeah, you I felt like I didn't need to do all the classes. Just one of the basics. And with gentle birth, they also have an app, which is free. I think there is a paid version of it. But I loved all of the just the dashboard in it. And it had a lot of hypnosis, which I found really helpful. And especially if you do. don't resonate with Christian hypnobirthing, which tends to be a lot of the resources out there. So I really like that. I would listen to one to help me fall asleep or just to help me get in the mindset for birth. So gentle birth, the app and classes were really awesome. Did you of those? I think you mentioned hypnosis or hypnobirthing to me before.

Adina:

No, I did not. I mentioned it as like a, this resource exists, but personally I didn't use it. Um, I did a birth, I did a birth class with my doula before, oh, sorry, she wasn't my doula yet, because I didn't have a doula for Minnie's birth, but I did hire this doula for a course. Same like you were saying, it was more just learn about potential expectations, learn about the, you know, labor stages and stuff like that. But say, even if you do take a course, you still are like, am I? Yeah.

Diane:

ask, I mean, I think I asked you, I asked other friends who have had children, like, What does it feel like? Can you describe to me what a contraction feels like? And sometimes I would get information that sounded like, all right, like cramps. But yeah, sometimes. you get there, when things start thinging, you're like, is this birth? Is this labor? Because everybody and everybody's experience can vary too. So yeah, it was interesting and learning like, here's how to time the contractions. That helped me feel a little bit more mentally prepared instead of just like, do we do? Um, Otherwise, I prepared, I can share this in the show notes if anyone wants it, but I made a playlist and so again, I didn't want like the calming spa vibes. Later, I wanted quiet in labor, but at first, early labor, I wanted early 2000s, late 90s hip hop. So I made a playlist called Yeet That Baby Out and some tracks from it. Oh, shit. I thought it was about to play it. Rock Yo Hips by Crime Mob, Really Liked Pop Lock and Drop It by Huey, It's Goin Down by Young Jock, Um, Get Low by Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys, Work It, Missy Elliott, of course, Hot in Here by Nelly. So those, that just gives you a taste. But I'll link the playlist if you want it, whether you're going into labor or not.

Adina:

Sounds like a blast.

Diane:

Did you listen to anything for any of your birth? Or were you like, turn everything off? I just, I don't want any, any sound.

Adina:

I did not. But I'm like that always. Like I, people think, sometimes when I post my training videos, people are like, in silence.

Diane:

like, I'm listening to my breath.

Adina:

Yeah, I don't know. I just, I feel like also my household, well, it's a few things. I grew up in a house where there were three TVs on at all times, even if no one was watching them and people were talking on the phone, on speaker, like overstimulation station. And so I just need silence in my home. Like I will not purchase a toy for my children that make noise. I like, and between the three of them, there's plenty of noise in here outside of that, you know?

Diane:

So no DJ turntable for next baby because have you seen those?

Adina:

So, Nope,

Diane:

It's like a Fisher price DJ turntable and I've seen like videos of little babies like

Adina:

so cute. But like, no, anything that makes noise. Get out of here. Um, so I feel like my time that's to me, I just need silence.

Diane:

there definitely is a, was a point where I didn't, I just wasn't even thinking about music at all during labor, but I mean, the early parts, I really liked it. And I still listen to that playlist.

Adina:

Yeah. It's fun.

Diane:

get Olympia. That's our daughter's name, by the way, trying to get Olympia to enjoy some of the music. like, I'm sure there will and other things, but

Adina:

You know what? It took a while for us when you have one and they don't go to daycare, like you can control that shit for a while. Like

Diane:

nice.

Adina:

many really listen, you know, I mean,

Diane:

Joan Jett,

Adina:

yeah, it was a lot of that for a long time and then slowly some like Daniel tiger creeped in and

Diane:

Swift. Oh, you like

Adina:

yeah. Yeah. I like it. And I, I think it's really, um, I think it's a great fit for Minnie cause it's so storytelling focused and Minnie loves lyrics. Like she'll just chew on them, you know?

Diane:

Yeah, it's very musical.

Adina:

yeah, I was joking with my brother about this because Minnie started singing some like inappropriate songs. And also as you learned when you were here, there's no radio edits here. So like, you'll just be in an ice cream shop and like F bombs are dropping. Like, so she comes off her little like van that she takes to school. And she's like, You said that, you said the F word's a bad word, but it's in all the songs I listen to. You know,

Diane:

We've already talked about how we'll handle handle swearing and Neil's like, absolutely not. And I'm like, maybe we just say their house where it's like at home words. We'll see if we have think about it.

Adina:

we've been on a journey. My kids, we've tried many approaches because it is getting out of hand here. Like now Ori walks around saying it. So something.

Diane:

Selfishly. I want a video of that.

Adina:

Yeah. I'll try. It's really funny. I mean, once they're in school, it's just like all hell breaks loose.

Diane:

Right. Right. Well, a lot of, a lot of people in my DMs were asking about assembling a team. Like how did you choose a team? And a couple of questions that came in were one, how did you get your husband on board? Um, Yeah, I think we've might have talked a little bit about this before in past pregnancy related episodes. And then, uh, how did you find your midwife or doula? So I'll answer the first one about husband on board. Neil was a little bit wary at first, but really. He said he trusted my judgment. He's like, it's your body and like, you have to do this. So like, I trust that you've vetted. Whoever you're choosing to support you to support us. But I think something that was really helpful is that our midwives hosted an open house at the birth center that we were hoping to go to. And so I think after that, he really had a lot of peace of mind. He was able to see and learn more about their qualifications. And that gave me peace of mind too. So whether yours has an event or not meeting in person, I think a lot of them do do this or a phone calls consultation, because it's such a personal, personal, um, relationship that you want to have at least that.

Adina:

This is such an important thing, and I'm really happy we're discussing it. I think if you are a person who either your partner has expressed a hell no about home birth, but it's something you're curious about, or you just assumed that they would be a hell no, and you kind of just like talked yourself down about even bringing it up, I think if you're a person who, Scheduling a call with a midwife with a midwife team can make a massive difference in just opening up the conversation too, because we definitely talked about this on our Um, either when I was finding my team for Ori, we did a Zoom with them because we were still living in the States. Um, but, yeah, Donnie had a lot of questions at first, and I feel like it's so funny because now he is like the number one advocate for Ori, he just walks around, like, wait, I think we posted that Jim Gaffigan thing, um,

Diane:

And it went a Yes.

Adina:

it's like, yeah, you don't want to.

Diane:

of done that too. Like he's told people like she did at home at not at home birth center. And he's like, I'm so proud of her. So he, he was pretty supportive the whole way, but I totally understand. And I imagine that most birth workers, they're going to anticipate that there, there might be a partner that is or a little bit wary, but hopefully they're ultimately on board with you because. Trust yourself. If this is the way that you want to try to birth, then awesome.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

are resources that can assure you or, yeah, meet with them for sure.

Adina:

Yeah. Even if you're a little wary about it, but it's something you're kind of curious about and you just didn't think to ask the questions about the things that you're nervous about or scared about.

Diane:

Mm

Adina:

I think. You might be really pleasantly surprised to find out, you know, what the protocols are, if XYZ happens, and if, you know, a hospital transfer was necessary, what does that look like? Like, just what do you bring to support me if there's an emergency? Like, just asking all of those questions. And it might look entirely different than you had envisioned it, because You saw some media content about home birth or you grew up in the nineties when it was like, you must be a witch. Yeah.

Diane:

and, a doula. So, um, midwives, they were responsible for my prenatal care, um, helping me through birth and delivery doula. Um, our doulas were there for physical and emotional support for both me and my husband. So. To answer the question, did you use one? And how did you find and vet a doula? A few people asked that. I asked a client, a sweet local client that I've worked with for a few years for a friend. I said, Hey, one of my clients is looking for midwives and doulas. And I knew she had really vetted her providers. So I just went and contacted a couple of them. Um, and there are, uh, I know there's no one like certifying body for midwives. Doulas, but is it through Donna DONA that you could make possibly find them. But I would just encourage people to ask like their midwives, if they did find that for, find their midwife first or ask friends if they know, um, of any or family members who have maybe used the support. And I also want to note too, that a doula can support you through. Any kind of birth that is maybe a question to ask them when you're interviewing is are there any births that you wouldn't support but most of them and definitely ours said that whether you chose to have a home birth or birth center birth or if you decided to be in the hospital or you needed to be in the hospital even if you needed to have a c section they can still support you through that experience too they're there for like your emotional coaching and physical coaching

Adina:

I think word of mouth is like really the best way to find out. And I think also, well, okay. Two things. Word of mouth and I think also social media, like if you're on social media and there's a birth worker that you vibe with, even if they're not local to you, birth working is a pretty small network, like I would DM them and be like, do you know someone local to me who is, works in a similar manner to you, is like minded, similar personality style, like that type of thing. Um, and then the other thing is even if you do get a recommendation from someone who you really trust, it is such an intimate experience and you might be shocked to find out. what your preferences are for the way someone will support you. Like, you could have someone who you consider totally like minded and then you meet someone who supported them in their birth and you're like, this is not a good fit, you know? Like,

Diane:

for me

Adina:

yeah, it's like that scene with Alana in, um, and she's meeting the doulas.

Diane:

babes.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

We just watched that movie over again. You have to see if you haven't watched it babes is or when she poops in her diaper postpartum and they're like it's supposed to do that.

Adina:

Man. Oh, God. It's so good. It's so good. And, but honestly, it is so good and it is like the most accurate representation of pregnancy and birth in media that I've seen.

Diane:

except for when they were at the restaurant. She's just like just a full meal, but just spent hours and she wasn't sure if she was in labor. I'm like girls here a second time. I would think it would go a little faster than they were depicting, but

Adina:

Yes. But as far as the details, they were a little, and like the things that they were like, yeah, discussing and that kind of stuff, it felt much more honest to the actual experience.

Diane:

it is. But yeah, it is such a vulnerable, personal experience, intimate experience. And we, I was able to do a consultation with both our midwives and our doulas and they were very, like, no pressure. Let me ask all the questions that I wanted to. And, um, Just in that meeting, I was able to click with them and I knew, all right, they're very personable, our personalities vibe. Actually, one of our doulas looks a lot, looks and has similar mannerisms to my childhood bestie who used to be a doula. And some people ask me like, Oh, is she going to? assist you through labor and birth. would have if she lived in Michigan, but she lives in Virginia, unfortunately.

Adina:

Mm. Yeah,

Diane:

so she didn't get to, but she did assist me via phone. So, um, our midwives too, as far as assembling our team, they spent an hour, at least with us every prenatal appointment. And, um, with our doulas, we had a couple of appointments with them as well, but I chose to go this route one, cause I just felt The most supported, um, by women who live, breathe, birth, babies, labor, and I've had some bad experiences with GYNs personally. And so I wanted to be with a team of women I trusted who respect me and my values and who saw me as a partner versus just a patient that they were going to, um, talk at or I didn't want someone to just tell me this is the way things are done conventionally. And so you have to do that, too. That would very much not fit with me. So.

Adina:

feel like a big red flag for me is if the person thinks that they're delivering the baby.

Diane:

Mm hmm. Mm Yes.

Adina:

am delivering the baby and you are supporting me.

Diane:

You are supporting it, maybe you're supporting me. Um, someone asked, how did you ignore the haters? And I feel like the answer would be similar for both of us is like, I don't care what someone thinks of how I chose to birth. Like I had family who was like, you're going to do what? Like on purpose. And I don't care because it was at the end of the day, it was going to be me that had to go through it. And I just trusted my gut. That was the way I wanted to go. And, um, people have also asked me about birth plan. I think me a few years ago would have had a very rigid plan of what I wanted, wanted, but this way I approach it as preferences. Like I knew if nothing else. No matter how the birth went, I wanted to have, um, the support of doula, a doula and midwife, um, doula, I think was some of the best money spent, um, and really, really happy with that. I feel like for me at least, I thought ob g OBGYNs are great at surgery, but midwives, like our midwives have done 500, over 500 births or something insane like that. And I was also really comforted by the stats that our midwives shared with us from 2016 to 2022. 95 percent of their client's births were home births as planned. 60 percent of them had intact perineum, intact gooch, or only first to second degree tears. Do women have, do girlies have gooches? Yeah. Anyway, first to second degree tears. So I thought, all right, pretty cool. Went as planned. Didn't rip a new one. So maybe I can be part of that stat too.

Adina:

We like it.

Diane:

Yeah. So can get into how everything went down. That's what the Yentas want, right?

Adina:

Tell us. Tell us all.

Diane:

Yeah. So we go. So I thought first timer, I'm going to go a week to 10 days or more after my due date. And so I was preparing for the long haul, but, um, I remember the weekend before I was like, I don't think that I'm going that far. Like I feel more pressure. I was craving a lot more carbs and I had this major nesting urge to stuff the freezer and I procrastinated. I definitely procrastinated on that, but it was

Adina:

well under pressure.

Diane:

Yeah, I was at like

Adina:

Doesn't work otherwise.

Diane:

and I was like merit kitchen marathon. Like I was making those breakfast sandwiches with the English muffins, a shepherd's pie. I could share more of what I share, what I prepped. It wasn't my full list, but I really got after as much as I could. Um, did you have a sense before any of your births? Like it's happening soon before, like physical signs of more physical signs of labor?

Adina:

So it's funny. I mean, I don't. Did I tell Abe's birth story on this podcast? I don't think so.

Diane:

you have definitely told me it was like fast and right? Like almost

Adina:

it was very weird. There were no physical signs to me that something was happening. Donnie and I were just like sitting on the couch and we were watching, we were watching the politician, which I feel like I talked recently about this show. And it just kind of like came and went and nobody watched it or talked about it. And I think it's like one of the funniest things to be on television. So check that out. If you like Ben Platt, it's really just like silly and fun. Anyways, we were watching the politician and after like one episode, I was like, I think I'm going to go to sleep. I feel like the baby's coming tonight. And he was like, why? And I was like, I don't know. I just do. And then I woke up at 2am, my water broke, and then Abe was earthside by like 4am. It was like really quick and dirty.

Diane:

expeditious.

Adina:

Yes, a speedy delivery, but yeah, who knows, like I was so, I feel like I was so out of touch with my body when Midia was born and yeah, Ori, it was kind of like my parents were coming here and they were like our plan A for what, where my big kids were going to be,

Diane:

Mm hmm.

Adina:

they weren't coming till my due date, so I feel like it was kind of just one of those things where my body was like, yeah. Not yet. Um,

Diane:

how much there is to like, I mean, you have to feel safe to a be able to go into labor. I, um, I remember while my friend Adrian was visiting from Chicago to bring me some of her, some baby stuff that they weren't using anymore. Most importantly, the infant car seat that we would need to be able to take our daughter home. And I remember thinking, I need to make it. until after I see her, I need to make it to Thanksgiving. And I also was like, Let's wait for Thanksgiving and then this baby can come and she had other plans. So, um, I think it was 37 weeks. So that weekend was feeling a lot more pressure. Monday came and I just, I had plans that I wanted to go out for socially that night, but I was like, I'm not really feeling them and feeling a lot more pelvic pressure. It's probably early labor at this point, not knowing it. And so I canceled a coffee date that I had the next day. I was like, I'm not really feeling it. And then Tuesday morning, I woke up with some cramps. I was calling them cramps and a really hard belly. I had some Braxton hillbilly contractions, Braxton Hicks contractions, where my whole belly looked like a square. And I took a video of it and now I just found it on my phone. And I'm like looking down, it looks like I'm just naked or like I'm looking at a turkey, but you couldn't see beyond my belly. And I was going to send it to my midwives. So I was like, my belly is really hard. I remember standing up to go to the bathroom to greet Doug, our pug and had some show. So there was some spotting, which if I hadn't done that class, I'd be like, Oh my gosh, something's wrong. There's some little spotting, a little show hate that

Adina:

I feel like even if you did that class, like you look down and you see that and you're like, the worst is on its way.

Diane:

Yeah, no pain, but well, it was cramping like, Oh, my period's coming like that kind of feel. So to the, to anyone listening who hasn't had a baby yet, wondering what it feels, it felt to me like. Oh, little period cramps. So I texted my midwife because they gave me a number in my info packet, like text this for questions about pregnancy. And then one labor starts. So I texted her, didn't hear back. I was like, okay, rude. And then I texted again, didn't, didn't answer me. So I finally called the number. And this is after texting details. Hi, this is Diane. My full name. I'm having bloody show, blah, blah, blah, blah. This woman answers and goes, hello. And I go, hi, is this my midwife? My midwife's name? No, no. And someone has been texting me and it sounds like she's in trouble. She's been texting and all the other people are texting me about labor and I wish I could help, but I'm not a midwife. So I have been texting randomly because throughout pregnancy, I had other gross, like bodily function questions. That I asked my midwife, my, my midwife, but I had the wrong number.

Adina:

Okay, so many things to say about that. It's so unfortunate that you were on the sending side of that because I feel like we've all been on the receiving side of that in some way. Like the other day Donnie got this message on his phone about like this ship and like this whole thing and he's like, what ship sank? Because this guy had the wrong number. Like, Right?

Diane:

to do was say, this is not your midwife, but she just, um,

Adina:

Maybe she was worn down from how many of those texts she's gotten. Like, you don't know what number you were.

Diane:

yeah, so I was freaking out and I was pissed, I was pissed at this point. I was stressing. So I went into the midwives like Facebook group and I asked if anyone had the right number for our, the midwife. I got it. And they were like, Oh, sorry about that. But I felt like they weren't as pressed as they should have been, but it like, it's funny now that I had the wrong number. But it was very not funny in the moment because I I was about to send her the video of me looking like a turkey to show my belly, my like naked belly. I've been talking about bloody show. So yeah, anyway, this lady could have just said it was not my midwife. Um, but she waited until I called her. So that happened. That was one of the things that went left.

Adina:

So good. Yep,

Diane:

weeks. So a couple of weeks early. and they're like, yeah, come up to for your appointment and then meanwhile, I'm in denial and my mother in law comes over and she's, uh, sitting with me. We were going to sew and I was going to pack my freezer with more stuff. So she's sitting with me. I'm like, I'm having cramps and I'm having some pressure and she's like, girl, I think you're having contractions, but they were so random and like somewhere short, somewhere a little longer. I don't even, I don't even think I timed them, but, um, They were like, they were pretty random. So we just kind of hung out and I'm telling, I'm texting Neil when he's at work. I'm like, can you go to the store and get some more ingredients? Because I want to prep before Thanksgiving. I want to prep some more stuff for the freezer. He's like, I don't think that's happening. So he came home. I, I, I. Blow dry my hair and I was like, these are picking up a little bit. So we packed the car before we went to our midwife appointment. And, um, when we're driving out there, she kind of lives her office, like out in the country a little bit, every bump on the way there hated it.

Adina:

yep, yep, yep. That sounds terrible.

Diane:

Didn't, didn't like it. So I'm still having that pressure as I'm calling it, but, um, I think something that helps someone ask about mental prep. I was brainwashing and like gaslighting myself a little bit. I went between, um, telling myself get comfy because things are going to get a lot worse, this is going to last so long because it very well could, like you could be in early labor for a few days. Right. Um, so I went between that and you were made for this, you're trained for this, don't worry about it. And I don't know, I did have a couple moments of anxiety before going into labor. Like there are only two ways this baby can come out. I, like, I have, like, that she has to come out somehow, and neither sounded fun. Um, could you relate to that? Like, did you have any moments of anxiety before any of your births?

Adina:

Yes, yes, I think. Like you said, the brainwashing is very helpful. Um, specifically with Abe's birth, because I really wanted to do that one without an epidural because I had had an epidural with Minnie and it was a terrible experience for me. And as you just heard, like, Abe's birth was really short and really intense. So at 2 AM, like right after my water broke, I was already in active labor, but I was talking myself down so much. Cause I'm like, if it. Is this intense at this point? I'm not going to make it, you know, like little did I know, like he was basically almost out at that point, but

Diane:

yeah.

Adina:

like, I'm literally like leaning over my couch, trying to pack my bag, being like,

Diane:

Uh oh.

Adina:

this is fine.

Diane:

This is fine. I really went between, I even told my doulas this in like one of our last meetings like that Thursday prior, I was like, I don't know if the support I'm going to need is people think you can't do this, like talk shit to me, or tell me like you were made for this and like really root me on, like, so I ended wanting both flavors.

Adina:

that checks out.

Diane:

of anxiety, like, Oh my God, there are only two ways you can come out. we're driving to the midwife appointment.

Adina:

That also, by the way, very, very relatable, I'm sure, for a lot of people, is like, that always happens during transition of labor. Like, towards the very end, it's right about to happen, and you start being like, there's no way in hell, yeah, it's not happening.

Diane:

which means that your baby's almost there. So I remember They're like, when you feel like you're gonna throw in the towel, like, That means your baby's close. just, I mean, don't apply that really early in labor and be like, I can't do this.

Adina:

Yeah. Depends what type of person you are, okay? Mm

Diane:

the prenatal and then I had to do that group B strap test where you like swab your, your front

Adina:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Diane:

and I come out and they're like, well, things could still stall. And I'm like, they don't feel like they're stalling. And they're like, it could still stall. And I remember it. The student midwife and she had just such a calming voice. She was like, how are you feeling emotionally? And you know, when people ask you if you're okay, I like started crying and I was like, I don't want to have my baby on Thanksgiving and make you miss your Thanksgiving. said, she's like, a lot of babies don't get to choose their birthday. So, you know, letting yours choose when she wants to come is a gift. So that broke me down, but they're like, go home and do the mile circuit, which is like a few different stretches or positions to try to get baby in a good. in a good position. Um, the, there's one where you're kind of laying down at the pillow. So anyway, we go home. It's like five o'clock at this point. And Neil's making me some scrambled eggs and sourdough. Someone asked what I ate in labor. And I was like, I want a bunch of eggs, like buttery eggs and sourdough. he's making me that and I'm doing these different positions, but every time I moved, I would have a contraction and I just lost my appetite at that point. Um, And Doug was glued to my side, like completely glued to my side and on me, our pug. some of it was back labor. Like I was feeling it, not those cramps in the front, but in my back, would not recommend. So

Adina:

Yeah, that was my whole labor with Minnie. It was really terrible. And then you get, I like, I went to a hospital for that birth and they made me lie in a bed on my back. And I was just like, well, this is not how I'm going to do this ever again.

Diane:

never again, would not recommend. And yeah, back labor, not fun. And I, people asked about the, like someone said, be honest, what was like the pain and intensity everybody is going to feel this different way based on where your baby is, your body, all of that. Um, but I've personally felt like this earlier part at home when, uh, contractions were more erratic was more intense, more painful. Um, so I've been chatting with my doulas all day, so I let my midwives know, um, I let my doulas know, so they were the emotional support. So they call. This is where something else goes left again. Um, They called me to listen to my breath. And like Adina was just saying, where like every woman, when they get to transition or towards the end, they feel like they can't do it. They've done over 500 births. And they said that through different parts of labor, women make kind of similar noises or breathe similarly.

Adina:

Okay. Yeah.

Diane:

doula on call who can come over to your house right now She's gonna meet you there and then you guys can go to the birth center and I trusted their judgment I love my doulas I trust her judgment and I was still upset because this is this is not how it was supposed to go like texting And I hung up and I told Neil, like, I was very hormonal. I was like, I'm just going to go out in the woods and shit this baby out myself.

Adina:

Yep.

Diane:

I was like, it's just me doing this now. But, and he was like, calm down, calm down. I'm sure it's okay. Like trust their judgment. So I'm on all fours. And I just hear, we told her to let herself in. And I just hear someone behind me with the calming, most calming voice. Hi, Diane. Nice to meet you. I'm like struggling. I immediately felt calm. So. She was so sweet, like such an angel on earth. She was there around like almost eight, uh, 8 p. m. So she tricked me into going into the bathroom. She was like, let's go try to pee. So she got me to go sit on the toilet. And I'm sure there are moms listening who are like, oh, the dilation station. So she had me sit on the toilet for three contractions. And whoo, that, that was something. And dogs like in between, like what is happening? So that's when I lost my birth quirk, okay, my like, mucus plug.

Adina:

That's when she's popping bottles, a gush,

Diane:

No. Like, for a second, I was like, is this the baby? No. Um, so then we get up and we go into the living room and I sit on this Ikea stool and my water breaks. And I've heard some women say like, for them it was a trickle, like in Babes the movie. This was like a, oh, it broke. It, broke. So, that happened. So water broke and looking back, I remember when I sent Neil to the store, I was like, can you get me some panty liners? I might need some panty liners because, you know, you know, I needed the diaper and we needed the diaper. So, um, put on your list the Rael, um, they're

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

Like they're a lot

Adina:

What's the other brand? Cora?

Diane:

Cora, uh, Freedom Mom also has some, but I like the Rael ones because they just felt softer. So we needed that.

Adina:

No, I'm saying, I think there's another, Rael's Organic. I think there's another organic cotton brand also. Maybe it's Cora? They make tampons too, right?

Diane:

Yeah,

Adina:

remember. We can link some.

Diane:

show notes.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

your kit. So, um, Ardula, this was a great idea. So people asked what we, what I ate or like sipped on. Um, someone asked, like, what moth cocks I brought with me too. So Ardula was like, Neal, get some raw honey. Yeah. or maple syrup. So we had raw honey from our farmer. He put that in a Tupperware for some easy carbs. Um, and he packed up my electrolytes. Um, Element was what I brought with me and we packed up whatever we didn't have in the car. So it was a 35 minute drive. To the birth center and luckily no snow, but it was like by now like 8 8 8 30 and I listened to a Message from my bestie who used to be a doula and she was like girl your breath you need to get up there soon We're talking to our midwives and I'm like trying to text them between contractions prepare the tub like I want to get in the tub And then my friend topsy called me and I don't know what I answered I answered because I wanted a distraction and she was like Oh girl best of luck So we're going to the birth center and I'm on all fours in the back of the car and Neal's driving safely. He was very calm. Um, I wondered how he would feel through this. He was pretty calm and then I was like, just blast my playlist. So I'm like to rock my hips to rock my, rock your hips in the back, like chewing on my duffel bag. Um, and at one point, did you feel this?

Adina:

The car,

Diane:

the car,

Adina:

the car is cruel. The car is cruel. Like that's part of why I was just like, let's do this at home. Because like,

Diane:

I don't know if we're

Adina:

I again with Abe, I had no idea how far along I was at that point. And I have a vivid memory of driving down this road in Englewood and there's these beautiful big houses with big lawns and looking out the window and almost asking Donnie. To pull the car over because I was like, I, I feel like I just want to poop in that person's law. Like I fully would have had a baby in their lawn if we pulled over, you know, I just, I just

Diane:

remember the doula saying like, if you feel like you have to poop, your baby's probably like really close.

Adina:

want to poop in their lawn.

Diane:

Yeah,

Adina:

so nice.

Diane:

People, um, I've had friends who never, and before I had a baby, I was like, I'm so scared of like being naked and vulnerable in front of someone or if I poop, um, or the sounds I make and you get into labor, I was like, I don't care. And then I remember, my midwives do listen to this, I'm sorry, but I was, I remember being really cranky earlier in labor and I was like, you know what, I'm going to shit out of spite. For the wrong number, I'm gonna shit out of spite. Soon as I get in that tub. I was just so mad. It was fine. But yeah, pulling over, I remember I do, I was like, If you really need to, I'll be behind you, driving behind you, and pull over. I remember being halfway there and this sensation of like vomiting down I could just feel my body move her down and I was like, oh, and I was trying to clench my butthole as hard as I could I was like, I'm not having her in this car. Um, so we get to the birth center. Sure enough, I did not give any bucks about how I look. I walked in looking like Winnie the Pooh because I had. water broke, right? I ruined another pair of pants. So I remember walking in the threshold. It's basically like a house birth, this birth center, took off my pants. Um, and I was just in a tank top, but I was bottomless like Winnie the Pooh. And I said hi to my midwife and I went into the, where the birth tub was and they had the lights down. Like, this is something I loved about the birth center is that it feels like a house, like a bedroom, but like not a mess in my house. So we get there, walked in like Winnie the Pooh. And it was just me, Neil and our doula. Yeah. Labor, like I got to labor in the tub in the dark with these fairy lights for a little bit while our midwives were getting other things set up. Um, someone asked, did you have all the emergency supplies and protocols if something were to go wrong? Yes, this is something that we talked about at length before with our midwives. Um, they're equipped to handle certain emergencies with me, with baby. Um, and I trusted them that they would know if something went wrong or was, um, if I was in danger that they would, we would move to the hospital. Um, The hospital was like five minutes from this birth center, but I felt like this was a happy medium for me, and I personally felt safer here, where the lights are dim, these women have been to over 500 births, um, they knew their shit, versus at a hospital with lots of lights, lots of people, so I felt safe, I felt really safe there, um, that said, things kind of slowed down once we got there, just for a little bit, And my doula asked, do you want any pictures? And I was like, I do not need any POV shots. I don't need any POV shots. I don't need to see that. But if you want to do some candids, and later I saw like, oh, I didn't realize I was hanging out by the sink for a bit. I got into the tub and just. Stayed there. Um, so I really knew that I wanted to be in the water. I know you were with Ori and we shared that on your episode, but man, as soon as I got in the water, like the relief

Adina:

Yeah,

Diane:

good. Yeah.

Adina:

I think it's a beautiful transition for baby who lived in water the whole time. And I also think you might know this about yourself. Like some people are just water people. Like if you're the kind of person who at the end of a long day, you get in the shower and you make it as hot as possible and you just like can't pry yourself out of there, even though you'd rather be sleeping. Like you're a person who might enjoy a water birth, you know, like.

Diane:

I clients

Adina:

high water, yeah, like that, it, it's really nice.

Diane:

And I know there are hospitals now who that have, um, who want to opt on medicated if they can, or for as long as they can. And a lot of hospitals might let you labor. in a tub for a while, but not deliver in a tub for whatever reason. Um, but they, they knew I wanted to be in the tub and someone kept coming by and like bringing more hot water and they were pouring it over my back. That felt so good. Uh, someone asked again about several questions were about intensity and pain. Um, and my experience, I felt like as soon as the contraction would start, my doula would squeeze my hips or Neil would squeeze my hips.

Adina:

A hip squeeze.

Diane:

Amazing. I took a lot of the sensation away. that and the water between that and the water. So that was incredible. Um, and my doula. So doulas can also support husband, the partner in like giving them a job. But Neil was pretty intuitive. Like he just stood in, uh, sat in front of me outside the tub and he would give me water or spoons of honey. So the honey for easy carbs was pretty good. Such a clutch idea because I did not feel like chewing anything else. Like I

Adina:

Mm hmm.

Diane:

something else I liked about the birth center. No cervical checks. I wasn't hooked up to monitors, but if you're someone who wants peace of mind of like, how's baby. As soon as I got there, they had the Doppler and stethoscope. And so a student midwife would intermittently ask if she could monitor, um, baby's heartbeat. And then I do remember much later on, my midwife, the lead midwife was like, can I check baby? And when I heard her say complete, I was like, Oh, it's on. Like we're, we're at a 10, we're at a 10. So I knew it was on. She even invited me. She's like, do you? So I think. It was after transition I said does she have hair because she said the head was closed she was like do you want to feel and I don't know why I asked like that's what I was going to send her back up there until she had hair and so then she could come out or no but she's like do you want to feel I was like no I don't know why

Adina:

Good reps. You know that doctor, you know that doctor's pajama line? He's like, everything about this is disgusting.

Diane:

yeah. Yes. Um, very much that. Uh, and I was like, no, I'll just push her out and then feel, I'll feel what's going on. She's like, okay. But it was very, it felt very, um, intrusive, very like respectful. And like, I'll cry if I think about it much, but the fact that it was in the dark and there were, there's my midwife and two student midwives, um, And then Doola, Neil, and Neil, and they were all so encouraging the whole time. Um, so I didn't end up going with the talk shit to me route to encourage me.

Adina:

Be nice to me, okay?

Diane:

yeah, no, they were, they were so, so kind and, and compassionate. And that's the only way everyone at birth, but they were saying things like doing a great job. Like I remember saying like, oh, that, that push wasn't as strong as I thought it could be. They said it was as strong as it needed to be, stuff like that. Um, Just felt so held. Um, so back to the pains. I know a lot of people asked about that and my DMs. Um, my doulas offered the reframe of reframing it from pain to intensity. Um, and I know we've talked on the podcast. It's like pain has a purpose. And that was something I came back to is like, I get a reward after this. I get a baby. So, um, I knew that like every, and another thing they had in the room was like every surge versus contraction. Every surge brings you closer to your baby. A strong contraction is a good one. And I knew to expect it kind of like a bell curve. So it was like, I could feel it ramping up and it would peak in the middle of a trend, uh, contraction. And then it would give me a little bit of time to rest. Now tell me if it's true, like, especially if it was really fast for Do you not get much time in between with a second or

Adina:

I could not even tell you what happened with Abe's birth. Like, it was just so quick that I don't even, like, remember that part of it. He literally, it was just like, it literally was like my body just, like, pushed eject. Like, it was not Yeah, like the, the parts I remember were the parts before, when like, we got to the hospital desk and people were asking Donnie to sign insurance papers and I was on all fours, like, someone catch this baby, please, like, literally,

Diane:

babe scene where she's crawling through the hospital.

Adina:

no, a thousand percent, that's exactly what it was, and, That, like, so I don't really remember the actual, like, active labor and transition part of it. It literally was like my body just pushed eject, but with like, with mini, because that was like forever long and I pushed for like three hours, I was like sleeping between contractions. Like my body was just like giving out in between. And then Ori was just somewhere in between, like, same kind of deal. Like you get a little rest, kind of recoup, hype yourself up.

Diane:

yeah, I did feel like I could rest. I remember people saying that, like, some might take a micro nap in between. And, um, I heard that generally the first is, is longer, um, than other labor, additional labors. Deliveries, but I, um, I would get a little rest. I would hydrate in between and honestly, I felt like the back labor and stuff that happened at home earlier on was more painful, more intense, which is interesting because my water broke and you'd think less cushion after that. But, um, I think the stretches helped her move into a better position. Um, had some time to To hydrate and honestly, I feel like all the training that I did through SDHH and all the breath that I did all the work for pelvic floor all through my pregnancy helped me tremendously because it really did feel a marathon like the days after birth. It wasn't like I was most sore in my undercarriage. It was like legs. It was my I spent most of my time on all fours that just felt most intuitive for me. They would offer other suggestions for me to try. And I was like, no, I feel best on all fours. Um, I thought of like rock back and what you've taught me about the pelvis, like knees in like things like that. So I do, I would make suggestions too, but I really just felt like my body took over and got to just. what was comfortable naturally. Um, but once the, I felt like things were less intense to later on ironically, because they were more predictable, the, um, frequency of contractions. Um, and I personally, I didn't feel like it hurt as bad as I thought it was going to, perhaps in part because I, uh, Brainwash. I was like, it's gonna, it's gonna get way worse. It's

Adina:

The mind is a powerful thing, right?

Diane:

then I was like, oh, I really thought that it was going to be terrible. And like a lot of my friends told me is that like when you're in it, you don't care what, what noises you make. I did not care. You don't care like what you look like. Did not care. You don't care if you shit. I don't know if I did or not. Probably did. Um, Yeah, it's probably really personal, but these are the details that I would tell like a close girlfriend. Um, so then we got to transition and pushing my doulas that I asked if I was in early labor when I was actively pushing so I got I was like, we're gonna be here all night.

Adina:

Just like such a wonderful example of how you're just like not on planet Earth.

Diane:

Yeah. Um, and they said I stayed pretty like I have, I did forget some parts of this, but they said I was pretty lucid through all of it. I was talking about what I wanted to eat for Thanksgiving. Um, and yeah, through transition, it wasn't as intense, but I do remember feeling, I do remember saying I'm safe and that I can do this. And I kept saying that a lot. And then, um, towards the end, after I was complete, they said like ring, I've heard a ring of fire. It was firing. It was firing, but it did not last that long. Um, And then I felt really encouraged because my midwife was coaching me on how to push without tearing, hopefully. Um, so that was another thing I really wanted to do with UnMedicated is I knew that it would be intense, but like, hopefully I'd be able to feel things and know when to stop pushing. So she was like, I'm gonna have you groan down. So the vocalizing helps so much with pain relief and the hip squeezes. Um, So lots of growling down versus like a high pitched um, towards the end, there were some high pitches and I did hear that that's pretty universal, like as you get really

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

and I asked Neil like weeks later and he was like, yeah, it sounded a little bit intense and I could see how if you're in a hospital, like, We scarin other people. But,

Adina:

also, if you're having a home birth, like, it just, Donnie and I were joking recently about how, like, we hear our downstairs neighbor playing piano. Like, I forgot that everyone here heard me have my baby.

Diane:

yeah, I forgot, I might have asked you, like, did you let them know, or you're like, it out.

Adina:

They know. And actually, for this, um, this upcoming birth, I mean, we'll see if I make it to 40 weeks, but my parents are coming, like, same deal, right around, you know, right, a couple of days before my due date, and they're staying in an Airbnb in our building. It's like, have fun. Yeah.

Diane:

In your building. it the one, like, really close to you?

Adina:

No, there's a new one on the first floor, so it's a few floors down, but still. Nope.

Diane:

you want them there in the room, which I don't think that

Adina:

No, thank you.

Diane:

Thanks, but no

Adina:

Not for me.

Diane:

A friend of mine said that, uh, they were trying to get to the hospital and they had like, not a fire escape, but they had to walk down the back of their apartment and they were just like screaming the whole way down. People were like, is happening? But when I was in it, like, it just felt like relief. So I know that if you haven't had a baby yet. Like I told a friend who's thinking of, of if she wants to do this or not. And I was like, it really didn't feel that bad in the moment. Maybe to other people, it sounded worse than it was, but the real, the pain relief I felt, and it felt really powerful to just like primally, like, roar.

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

my voice. The hip squeezes really helped tremendously. Um, and honestly, I had like a calf cramp that was worse than the labor pain. Like at one point I had a Charlie horse. like my leg. So someone started massaging my leg. Um, but yeah, my midwife was coaching me on when to stop and the counter pressure. Um, like if you're in the water or if you're out of the water, they might use a washcloth with like, Olive oil on it, on your gooch, on your lady gooch, girly gooch, so you don't tear, um, hopefully, and so coaching me through that or when to switch my breath pattern really helped, so, um, She shot out at one point, and I remember my midwife was like, I'm gonna hike her to you, so she hiked me to, hiked her to me, like a football, and it was so surreal, I was like, oh my gosh, there's a baby, and that was just like, the craziest moment, finally, being done, and, they say is true. Like ever, like all the pain I felt like went away as soon as she came out. Um, and I was just out of body for a second that I couldn't believe that I caught a person out of my body was so

Adina:

You're a portal to another dimension.

Diane:

wild. Someone said that birth is extraordinary and ordinary at the same time. Like, I'm like, everybody does like women do this. And I think I said, I can't believe women do this all the time. And at the moment my midwife was like, well, usually they like wait a year or so between, but.

Adina:

It is truly the craziest experience ever, and it doesn't get any less crazy. Like, the first time it happens to you, you're like, this is quite literally the craziest thing ever, but it just like keeps being that, you know what I mean? And like, Breastfeeding also, just like, everything about it is wild.

Diane:

it is. And I felt so much, so connected to, I don't know, it sounds so cheese, but I don't care. I felt so much more connected to other women than I, like, than ever. And I was just like, women do such cool stuff. And I just felt so emotional. I still do anytime I think about it, like, being supported by those women who I really trusted with my, like, life. With myself and like vulnerable moments. And, um, immediately they put her on my chest and we got to just snuggle in the water for a while. And someone brought me apple juice and I was convinced it was the best apple juice I've ever had in my life. It was just Mott's, it

Adina:

juice is really underrated, though.

Diane:

but I was like, I mean, I had been drinking throughout labor, but I was like, the best. Um, so they let us hang out there and some things that like, I mean, everybody hears about the labor and birth, but yeah, then you've got to get the placenta out. And it's just like, that's not fun. It's not fun and I lost the mind body connection, but I remember after like half an hour, they're like it needs to you need to do this Had some little patos had that but then they like brought us right into a bed and someone brought me like Cheese and apples and we just got to like look at this little person that just arrived. It was the craziest experience. And she did have a lot of hair. That was a fun, fun little treat. But oh my goodness. So I would say too, the fundal massage wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but having to push the placenta out was kind of a buzzkill, but it did have to come out.

Adina:

Yeah, it's pretty cool though.

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

you do anything with your percenta?

Diane:

Yes, so I didn't think about it until that night and they asked me if I wanted to encapsulate it and I was like sure because I mean, I guess it's just going to go in the trash and I made it. So, um, I did a tincture. I got a tincture and capsules.

Adina:

Did you end up using them? Did you like the experience? Did you? Mmm

Diane:

good from them. So I did hear our herbalist and midwives were talking about like everyone has a can have a different experience birth to birth or placenta placenta depending on what their body needs. I guess I took them for a little bit until I had Tata terror mastitis because you don't want to take those.

Adina:

hmm.

Diane:

sick. Um, I thought, why not? Did you do ever do anything with yours?

Adina:

I didn't. I shared on the last on my birth story podcast that I was thinking of planting a baby. My placenta with a tree, I think, yeah, I have a friend who did that for all of her births and she's like lives in a home that she owns in her backyard just has like a cherry blossom tree and like it's like each tree represents, you know, and held the nutrients of that birth experience. And I think that's just like so beautiful. Um, but yeah, my placenta from Auri is actually still in my freezer because I just like didn't get around to buying a tree.

Diane:

Someday. I think did come with like a cord keepsake. didn't, I Oh, oh, and it was like in the shape of a heart, but

Adina:

Yeah.

Diane:

it's part of me that was like, oh, I made that, but I did like afterwards. Another thing that I loved about birth center, or if you were to do this at home is like, you just got to get in your bed. And here in my bed in the bed there. Um, think we finally were going to go to sleep at 3, but it was like, how am I going to sleep after this? Like, super exciting thing just happened. And we both were just staring at her like. Oh, she's here.

Adina:

Yeah. So much adrenaline. That's honestly, I think one of the most underrated things about home birth or something like a birth center is not just the birth experience itself, but then the aftercare when there's not just like beeping monitors going off all night and people coming into your room and. You know, like, I think that to me was so unsettling, that experience. And I didn't like it. I liked it just being this like natural transition to our life where now we are in our bed and there is nothing beeping and I control the lighting.

Diane:

Yeah. I think the twinkle lights were on in our room and, um, they did do like a couple of checks, but yeah, I wasn't hooked up to things. I heard that in the hospital they come in like, well, you probably experienced this with many every couple of hours. Hey mama, to check on you're like, get the fuck out.

Adina:

Yeah. And everything is beeping and there's just like blue light coming from everywhere. Like it was just, it wasn't for me.

Diane:

No.

Adina:

now.

Diane:

Yeah. They would, they just kind of let us rest and we got to hang out there the next day, as long as we wanted to. But, um, Yeah, I remember we were like, all right, let's get let's get out of here. Let's go get some sushi and go home like that. So that's all I wanted to have pick up for a pickup meal. But, um, really, really love the experience. So even with some things that did not go to plan, like the wrong number, like, um, some of those, it, you know, It really still went great. And I think part of that was just knowing that like, here are my preferences. And if that doesn't work out, like it'll still work out in the way that, um, that it, it, it should and everything was, was fine. We loved the, our doula, um, Allison, who was our backup doula, um, and I was just so grateful for the support of my midwives. I trusted them. I did not tear, I act well, had tiny tear that didn't need any stitches, but I remember telling them that I had a Brazilian where I tore. college that was worse than this. Oh, man. It was. Yeah. No, that was in a scenario where I did not want a student to do that ever again. Don't let a student do your Brazilian wax in college. Yeah. Um, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. So it got to rest up and, um, our midwives came and visited us like the next day. Um, which also schlep baby to an office. Like. The day after pediatrician's office. Um, so someone asked, what would you tell aspiring home birthers home birthers? And my top one was find a team you trust. Um, and do a lot, do a lot, do a lot. I think no matter what birth you want, um, or what birth you end up having, they can be such a tremendous support, not only for you, but for your partner as well, uh, coaching you emotionally through birth. That was just best money spent for us.

Adina:

Yeah, I think, um, I don't know, I think like you said, listening to positive birth stories I think is a huge deal. I think knowing that you can do this, and this is how we always did this, and how capable you are, like we were talking about earlier, just the brainwashing, um, um, But it's funny that you kept mentioning the hip squeeze because there's just something about the hip squeeze. Like I would totally free birth, but I need to pay someone to squeeze my hips,

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

cause like I need Donnie to be there for my emotional support. I need Donnie to be there with my adrenal cocktails. Someone is getting paid to squeeze my hips. You know, they

Diane:

Yeah.

Adina:

tap out at any moment. Like that, that is the thing for me. That is the support I need. Like number one.

Diane:

I mean, honestly, like, I, I remember in the weeks leading up, I was like, do I need to buy a TENS unit? Like, can I somehow get, um, can I somehow get, uh, nitrous oxide? Like, that's another option, um, that some women might use in the hospital if they aren't going on medicated. We actually, Neil's such a troll. His sense of humor, I think you've experienced it a little bit, is it can be dry and like, you're not sure if he's kidding. We go into the. birth center and he's like, don't worry, we brought our own fentanyl.

Adina:

Donnie does the same thing, by the way. We were in the park this weekend and we're just like sitting on a bench. There's people around, like, I don't know who knows him, who doesn't. And he just goes, this whole, my body, my choice thing, like your body, my choice.

Diane:

People are like, is he serious?

Adina:

It's like, why are you doing this?

Diane:

Yeah, Neil does have some of those bits that we've talked about in public where it's like, he's just such a goofball. But, um, yeah, uh, tips for aspiring home birthers is do what you like to listen to your gut. I think that's important to have the support. Like that, that you feel good about, uh, for me, it was midwives and our, our one of wonderful doulas. I would definitely go that route again. And, um, there was a part of me that was like, well, if I don't have a hospital experience to compare this to, or like a medicated experience, like. I just, I just have this to compare it to it. And that, knowing that if I were to have a future birth experience, it could be completely different. Um, and I think for me, it was the mindset training also was some of the biggest help. Um, the training, training that led up to, to birth, because I can't imagine not having any sort of like physical fitness capacity or conditioning capacity going into this. So I don't think I shared this earlier, but for me, it was. An hour and 40 minutes of pushing. And then my midwife said like for a first timer, just the whole thing for me went faster than, um, happens for a lot of first time moms. Uh, and really just went pretty smoothly, all things considered. So I'm really grateful for that. And I think the training and the mindset training really, really set me up for the success that I hope for.

Adina:

Yeah, like you were saying, I want to just touch on this before we close out because I think it's so important to hear, I think like we talked about on that episode, is it pregnancy safe? Like our mindset as a society is like, is this workout safe for pregnancy? And we're not often thinking like, how can I utilize this amazing gift that we have of strength training of fitness to support me and Help me manage pain in my pregnancy and help me prepare for labor in a way that I could not without it. And like you said, spending all that time on all fours, like, That's a real strength and endurance challenge and something that only

Diane:

arms and abs. I

Adina:

comes. from spending time in those positions and spending time under load in those positions. And then I think what you touched on about how your body and your breath were kind of figuring things out as you went and were intuitively getting into certain positions. The amazing thing about the labor prep work that we do and the type of strength training that we do is. What we are doing is trying to remove restrictions from the body. Like, we are allowing your body to learn how to spend time in these positions. We're allowing your pelvis to learn how to spend time in these different positions so that they can intuitively do so when the time comes. The problem is if we're, like, holding on to areas of our pelvic floor for dear life and we never teach them, It's okay to let go or this is a position that you can find with the pelvis and with the hips. Our body doesn't have the opportunity to do that intuitively on its own during labor. And that's where all those restrictions and stalls arise. So if,

Diane:

in the labor prep. I mean, I think I told you offline is like, I felt like my tailbone was in the way. And I thought of you and your pelvis model when we were chatting one day of like how to move my knees to open the back of my pelvis.

Adina:

yeah,

Diane:

in the way.

Adina:

get out of here. Um, but truly, I think the more time that we can spend. Making sure that we have access to these different positions, the more intuitively our body does this in the way that it was always designed to do this, you know, so anyways, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story with us.

Diane:

Thanks for listening.

Adina:

We were.

Diane:

It didn't.

Adina:

Yeah, we're so happy to hear this story. We're so happy for you and Ollie and Neil. And, um, what else, what, what should we tell them?

Diane:

It was a ride. Stay hydrated. The minis, the minis definitely got me through that marathon of birth training definitely got me through the marathon of birth, but also listening to stories like these. So I hope that if this is something that you are aspiring for, that it is a preference for your future birth, that you feel more empowered in that choice and prepared and know that There are resources like the ones that we've shared here, um, or through both of our practices that can hopefully support you through that journey, if that is your choice as well. So birth is extraordinary and ordinary, and it's definitely not casual, but you can do it. And whether that is unmedicated, whether that is fully medicated or what support you and thank you for listening.

Adina:

And more than ever, unclench that b hole.

Diane:

Unclench that butthole and that baby.

Adina:

Okay. We love you. Bye.

Diane:

Bye!