Thriving After Trauma
Hosted by Trauma Transformation & Energy Coach, Jaci Rogash, Thriving After Trauma is a podcast about real life stories of transformation, navigating life and being able to show up in the world as your unapologetic self. We’ll talk about the ups, the downs, the ugly truths and the magical moments that we all experience, but often feel we can’t share, so we can bring to life the importance of having meaningful conversations and embracing our own journey in this crazy thing we call life.
Thriving After Trauma
Q&A with Tahryn: My evolution over 200 episodes
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200 episodes! I / we did it.
This week, my incredible friend Tahryn Bolt took over the mic and interviewed me to ask me questions about my podcast, business, life and so much more.
We share my evolution over the last 5 years.
We share tears.. A number of times.
But most of all, we sit down and reflect on how incredibly meaningful this podcast is to me, what I have learnt, how I’ve grown and who I am.
I’d love for you to share your thoughts and any takeaways from this episode.
Connect with me:
Transcript
00:00:00
Welcome to Thriving After Trauma, a podcast to help you move beyond surviving and support you to truly thrive in every area of your life.
00:00:09
Sometimes it's scary to claim your big desires because of your past.
00:00:12
This podcast will give you the courage to put yourself first and make your dreams a priority.
00:00:17
I'm Jackie, an award-winning trauma transformation coach, breathwork facilitator and international speaker.
00:00:24
I am so excited to bring you these deep, honest and real conversations as a way of supporting you to truly thrive after trauma.
00:00:32
Jackie, congratulations on 200 episodes.
00:00:36
It is an incredible milestone and I think it's definitely worth celebrating.
00:00:42
How does it feel to know that you've sat down at the mic and hit record 200 times?
00:00:50
Oh my God, it's wild.
00:00:53
And also thank you so much for interviewing me on my podcast.
00:00:59
Oh, how does it feel?
00:01:01
I'm really proud.
00:01:02
I think I'm really proud.
00:01:04
Like when I think about it and I wanted the 200th episode to be something different, something special out of the, like out of the ordinary, we'll call it.
00:01:18
But when I think about it, I'm just, yeah, I'm really proud of the fact that
00:01:23
I pushed start, what was it five years ago, I think for both of us.
00:01:28
And I'm still here and I still love it as much as I did back then.
00:01:33
Yeah, it is like an amazing testament to consistency and also commitment and like, yeah, it takes a lot of motivation when there is no motivation to keep showing up, to keep recording, especially when like life gets busy and
00:01:53
things happen, but the fact that you have done it 200 times when a lot of podcasts don't make it past episode 10 is amazing.
00:02:05
So I'm just, I'm very grateful to be here and leading this milestone episode.
00:02:11
I'd love to hear what made you start the podcast.
00:02:14
Why did you decide, okay, it's a podcast route that I'm going down and I'm going to start a podcast.
00:02:23
Yeah, you and I were in the same coaching container back then, which I kind of love and I love the fact that you said yes to doing this for me because I'm like, I want someone that's been in, like being there with me through the whole journey.
00:02:36
I think I, as someone who didn't express themselves for a really long time and then started coaching and, offered
00:02:50
over delivered in everything that I did.
00:02:54
I knew there were still ways that I could serve and support people who, maybe couldn't afford coaching or weren't interested in coaching, but also I just knew I had a lot that I wanted to talk about.
00:03:09
And I didn't, like, yes, there's Instagram and there's social media and there's all of that, but I just felt like podcast was a way of really
00:03:19
like expressing myself and it, I don't know if it sounds a bit strange, but being having my own podcast kind of gave me permission to be able to talk about whatever I wanted without worrying about what anyone else would think.
00:03:36
And it was like, well, this is my podcast.
00:03:39
This is my thoughts.
00:03:40
These are my opinions.
00:03:41
These are who, this is who I'm going to interview.
00:03:44
If you want to listen, amazing.
00:03:45
And if not, that's okay.
00:03:49
But I also guess I, you know, I'd listened to podcasts for a number of years already and loved them so much.
00:03:55
And I was like, I want this, I want to do this.
00:03:57
So yeah, I think it was just a way of serving and supporting other people more, but also a way of me, a way for me to express myself more.
00:04:11
Yeah, I love that you shared that.
00:04:12
And I think
00:04:13
It's such a great way to be able to express yourself, like outside of the high pressure or like highly competitive zone of Instagram and social media, because, you know, recording a podcast is that you're kind of sitting down and talking to yourself really.
00:04:30
And, you know, you don't know, you can't see who's listening or tuning in or you can see is, you know, the downloads ticking over each week, but it's a way to practice, I guess, you know, expressing yourself, using your voice
00:04:43
And in doing so, reaching other people who perhaps feel the same way about things as you do, and just impacting people that, otherwise might not have found you or know about the work that you do, which, yeah, I love and I think that is, an amazing reason for starting a podcast.
00:05:06
And, yeah, really expressing yourself in that way.
00:05:09
So yeah, I love that you shared that.
00:05:11
And it's just a lot of fun.
00:05:14
I remember the first, it used to be very scripted.
00:05:17
And I don't think it ever sounded scripted, but I used to write my podcasts from, start to finish.
00:05:23
And sometimes I still do, but not all the time now.
00:05:27
I've become, I was always, I've always been a good interviewer based on my, professional background.
00:05:33
Like interviewing has been my life for, a really long time now.
00:05:38
But I just, it was just, it's fun.
00:05:41
And I've
00:05:42
We wouldn't be here.
00:05:43
We wouldn't still be here doing it if it wasn't fun.
00:05:46
Yeah, exactly.
00:05:47
You don't get to 200 episodes if you don't enjoy it somewhat.
00:05:51
Exactly.
00:05:53
Now, was there a moment, obviously there's like lots of good stuff about recording a podcast, but was there a moment along the way that you thought about stopping?
00:06:03
And if so, what kept you going?
00:06:05
Or have you always been like, no, I love this.
00:06:08
is amazing every single time you show up and record.
00:06:13
Great question.
00:06:16
Well, I've had two kids since I started my podcast.
00:06:19
So with my first, there was no pause.
00:06:22
We just kept on rolling.
00:06:24
And with my second, I took a break.
00:06:28
So just before he was born, and I thought it might be a six month break.
00:06:32
It turned out, well, it turned out to be a couple of years, I think, but I did a couple of seasonal drops where I dropped a number of episodes all at once.
00:06:42
throughout that.
00:06:44
And I think through that period where I wasn't recording regularly, there were kind of moments of do I, don't I, do I, don't I?
00:06:53
And yeah, I just, I think the last time I did a little seasonal launch, I was like, I've missed this.
00:07:02
Like I realized that I missed, I missed using my voice, but I don't
00:07:09
I don't think I've ever been like, I'm just not doing this anymore.
00:07:13
But there have absolutely been periods or moments in time where I'm like, have not wanted to record.
00:07:20
Or it's like, oh, either, you know, something's been going on or I just can't be ****** or like, I felt like I've had nothing to say.
00:07:31
Yeah, so there's been those moments where it's like, oh, do I just skip a week?
00:07:36
And
00:07:37
It's funny, I call myself a recovering perfectionist.
00:07:39
There's always part of me that's like, no, you don't skip a week.
00:07:43
I feel that, I feel that to my call.
00:07:47
And it's funny, you know, you can look at like, you know, podcasts that have millions and millions of downloads and are sponsored and are, you know, making so much money from their podcast and all of that.
00:08:01
And I could easily look at that and be like, well, what's the point?
00:08:07
But I think my passion and the amount that I like, how much I love doing it as that self-expression piece.
00:08:15
Yeah.
00:08:15
So there's never really been a moment where I've been like, I'm not doing this anymore, except for when I was like taking some time off with my kids.
00:08:24
Cause it's like, how the **** do I juggle it all?
00:08:28
Yeah.
00:08:28
And the answer is you don't, you kind of put something down for a little bit, but I think it shows, you know, how
00:08:35
much it like you love it that you want to continue to use your voice and to continue up and share it and in those moments where you think
00:08:46
I can't be ******.
00:08:47
It is that like, there might be someone listening to this episode, you know, who needs to hear from me today, or you might need something, I guess, you know, for yourself when you're recording it and sharing your story.
00:09:00
So I think that that is amazing that you've kept going.
00:09:04
And, you know, like you said, there's always those times where we just can't be bothered.
00:09:09
And the inner perfectionist is like, maybe we would just not do this anymore.
00:09:15
Yeah.
00:09:16
and I think that's life, right?
00:09:17
Like we can't, no one goes through life feeling motivated all the time.
00:09:23
and we just, we don't, we can't.
00:09:28
It's not possible for starters.
00:09:31
And if you maintain that for long enough, you're going to burn out.
00:09:36
But yeah, I just enjoy it.
00:09:38
But I also find it quite therapeutic for me as well.
00:09:41
Yeah.
00:09:42
So what has changed the most in you across the 200 episodes as a host, as a coach, as a human, as a mum?
00:09:53
What has been those shifts for you like in the last five years and 200 episodes?
00:09:59
Oh my God, what a question.
00:10:02
How do I even answer that?
00:10:03
I don't know.
00:10:04
I'm not even the same person I was when I started my podcast.
00:10:11
So when I started my podcast, I had, trying to remember the timing of it.
00:10:17
And this is where you are so much better than me.
00:10:19
Like you are so good at, on this date I did this and here's my photo and this is what I was doing.
00:10:25
Whereas I'm like, sometime around then I started this.
00:10:30
So, now I'm pretty sure.
00:10:34
So when I started my podcast, I had left my partner of six and a half years
00:10:40
moved back into my apartment.
00:10:43
And I think I just started dating Chris from memory.
00:10:47
Either I was, yeah, either I was still single or I just started dating Chris.
00:10:51
And so I lived by myself.
00:10:53
I had like all the time in the world.
00:10:55
And I was still quite a new coach.
00:10:58
It was the year that I went full time in my business.
00:11:01
So very new coach, really.
00:11:03
Like I'd been coaching for a couple of years, but I would say that I was very masculine.
00:11:09
back then, wasn't, I would say that I had like this superficial connection to my feminine energy.
00:11:17
Mainly, you know, I'd wear a dress and be like, yes, I'm feminine.
00:11:22
But in saying that, I was very spiritual and I was very connected to myself.
00:11:26
But the way that I functioned as a coach and a business owner was very quite masculine.
00:11:31
And as I said, I had all the time in the world.
00:11:33
You know, I worked really long hours and not, and because I liked it and because I could.
00:11:39
And I've had two kids and after my first child, I remember going really like swinging from full masculine to full feminine.
00:11:49
And I don't know, like it was, I actually can't quite believe it.
00:11:53
I look back at that version, man, like, wow, like, what were we doing back then?
00:11:59
And so there was a period there and, you know, my group coaching programs have
00:12:07
well, recently been recreated, but they've been through a few evolutions as well.
00:12:13
And the way that I show up has changed.
00:12:18
Then I had a second child.
00:12:19
So everything has changed.
00:12:23
I'm now married as of a week ago, two weeks ago, whatever.
00:12:30
Yeah, everything's changed.
00:12:32
But I think as a coach and a podcaster,
00:12:37
I'm more sure of who I am.
00:12:44
You know, I know who I am.
00:12:47
I know who I serve.
00:12:48
I know who I support.
00:12:50
I'm more confident in who I am.
00:12:55
Like there is really no questioning in, you know, I think we go through these stages where it's like, who am I?
00:13:01
Am I this or am I that?
00:13:03
And I think parenting has helped me
00:13:05
With that, parenting has also brought out some sides of me that I didn't think that I had that were not, that aren't pretty, that are not pretty.
00:13:14
But I think overall I'm just more, I'm more secure, more secure in myself and what I do.
00:13:21
I don't people please as much.
00:13:26
I'm really firm in my boundaries.
00:13:31
And I think, you know, when we first start business, we kind of,
00:13:37
tailor or go out of our way to make things a yes.
00:13:43
we go out of our way for people to say yes to coaching with us and sometimes at the detriment to ourselves.
00:13:51
Whereas now I don't have all of the time in the world.
00:13:55
I don't have all day every day to work.
00:13:58
So I don't want to be doing that.
00:14:01
And that's not to say
00:14:04
it makes me sound like an *******.
00:14:06
It's not to say that I don't have conversations and work with people to see whether we're the right fit.
00:14:11
Like I absolutely still do that, but I don't bend or you know, almost sacrifice myself to help or to make it a yes for other people.
00:14:25
Yeah, and that's so powerful.
00:14:26
And just reflecting back to you, because obviously I have been here and I saw the evolution of the podcast.
00:14:33
I was there, got to see it come to life.
00:14:36
And it's definitely something, and it just comes back to that, using it as a vehicle to express yourself and use your voice and to continue to do that and show up for the 200 episodes.
00:14:50
it creates that confidence in yourself, like that belief in yourself that, hey, I know what I'm talking about.
00:14:56
Like I know my **** and I know myself and I know what I want for my life.
00:15:02
I know what I want for my business and what I'm not willing to do as well.
00:15:06
But the only way that you get there is literally by.
00:15:09
expressing yourself, it's using your voice, it's continuing to show up to do the work, whether that is the business work, the healing work, all of the things that you know you support your client with clients with that is so incredibly like powerful and like I have seen that.
00:15:26
like shift in you as well is that it's less about, well, you know, pleasing other people or getting it right.
00:15:33
And more about like, well, how can I, you know, share my magic with my community and just feeling really like confident and assured of yourself and that you are good at what you do.
00:15:46
And that's not anything, but that's amazing, especially as women, because a lot of people don't have that and they would be like, Oh,
00:15:54
you know, I'm too nervous to speak my truth, or, you know, share my stories, and show up and do that.
00:16:01
But not you.
00:16:02
And so like, obviously, your listeners would be incredibly grateful that you continue to show up and and and share, you know, your voice in all of the episodes.
00:16:13
So, you know, I just want to reflect that back to you that I've seen that shift over, you know, the five years and sometimes I'm like,
00:16:21
wow, how have we known each other for so long?
00:16:24
And it's kind of amazing when you sit back and reflect on like how far you've come since then.
00:16:30
Yeah.
00:16:31
Thank you.
00:16:32
And also the podcast has had three different names.
00:16:36
Like, and I think that speaks to the piece that you've just said around that confidence piece.
00:16:41
Like it started as your true self, which is still part of, you know, what I help my clients do is like discovering their true self.
00:16:52
And then it went to the warrior within because it was like I was connecting with my inner warrior and the wounded warriors and now it's thriving after trauma.
00:17:00
And if I'm really honest, I would never have used the word trauma in my podcast title five years ago.
00:17:11
I knew that I helped people who'd experienced trauma but I had a real
00:17:22
An interesting relationship with using that word because it was, I don't, what I mean?
00:17:31
It was like.
00:17:32
You come to all of the things, the baggage or connotations with it.
00:17:37
And I can literally remember having this conversation, or I wasn't having it, you were having it with Ellie, but about using the word trauma and how you didn't want to use it.
00:17:48
And you didn't want that to be part of your messaging because it just didn't sit well with you.
00:17:54
And I've seen you kind of, we've had this conversation several times over the last, you know, the time we've known each other.
00:18:02
it's so nice that you've got to that point where actually it's you embracing that part, that that word, it's kind of like a coming home really to using that word and it removing all of that, any of that, you know, ickiness or, you know, that youth uncomfortableness from using it and, you know, and now it's like, you
00:18:25
front and center in your podcast and something that you, openly share about and talk about, like without worrying about using that word specifically.
00:18:35
Yeah, well, I think back then I related, I felt like I couldn't use the word trauma because I'm not a psychologist or I don't have a degree or a PhD in trauma.
00:18:46
I don't even know if that's a thing, but, you know, because I didn't have that, there was almost this, well, what are people gonna think?
00:18:54
And not that I've ever, and I like hand on heart, I've never ever tried or pretended that that's what I do.
00:19:02
But it was, yeah, there was this attachment of I can't use that because what will people say?
00:19:06
Or because I'm not a psychologist or I don't have a degree in this.
00:19:11
And yeah, as it's evolved, it's like, well, that's what it is.
00:19:17
And I think back then five years ago,
00:19:21
people, anytime anyone used the word trauma, it was almost this really, like there was a lot of charge to the word.
00:19:27
Whereas now it's like, that's like, and not to label it, but it's like, that's what I do.
00:19:33
I help people who have experienced trauma and it kind of, I'm kind of like, why the **** didn't I use it earlier?
00:19:41
And also I needed to go through all of that to really find myself and, you know, figure out what way that is.
00:19:49
And
00:19:50
the business and my work will continue to evolve.
00:19:53
And I know that.
00:19:55
But I also know that that trauma piece will always be grounded in what I do.
00:20:01
100%.
00:20:01
Now, obviously, you've been incredibly open about your own trauma as part of your business, as part of the podcast.
00:20:09
It's in the name.
00:20:11
Has getting that vulnerable given you any
00:20:14
anything unexpected as a result from sharing your own trauma from, you know, talking about it on the podcast, incorporating it like into obviously how you support people.
00:20:26
Is there anything that you that's it's given you that has been unexpected?
00:20:35
I think it has allowed me to heal even more.
00:20:40
You know, every time
00:20:44
I say this, I'm getting emotional.
00:20:46
Every time I share my story, I'm always surprised by what gets me like what the emotional part is.
00:20:54
Sometimes I share it and not that I'm not attached to it, but it's like there isn't like, there's not really heavy emotions or big emotions.
00:21:04
And then sometimes I share it and it really, like really gets me.
00:21:09
But every time that I do share,
00:21:12
there's a part of me that heals a little bit more and becomes a little bit more whole.
00:21:17
And I remember after I had my miscarriage, which again, I don't normally get emotional talking about this.
00:21:26
I had my miscarriage and I was like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna talk about this.
00:21:30
And this was a period where it's like, keep the podcast rolling, but talk about, you know, and I should go back and see what, like what episodes I actually recorded during
00:21:40
time, but I thought it was a one day I'll record something about this.
00:21:44
And I ended up doing an episode like a couple of weeks or the week after, week or two after I had the procedure because I didn't pass our baby naturally.
00:21:55
And that I believe allowed me to heal so much quicker.
00:22:02
And not that it's a race, right?
00:22:03
It's not a race, but just the act of
00:22:08
allowing myself the space to sit down and share and talk about what had happened, that healed that for me almost instantly.
00:22:20
And I think also the connection that has come from really vulnerable episodes, you know, and it's always interesting with podcasts, like people listen to it, people download it and you might hear nothing or crickets and then there's some episode you're like,
00:22:38
Don't know who these people are, but cool.
00:22:40
And then sometimes, you release episodes and so many people comment on them and just, every time anyone sends me a message, it's like, it's validation, but not from the, like, I don't need that from them to show me that I should be doing it.
00:23:03
But it's validation that what I'm doing is making a difference.
00:23:08
I'd really love someone to message me every week and tell me that they listened.
00:23:11
Like that would be the dream instead of the crickets that we sometimes get.
00:23:18
But I think it's just been, yeah, quite healing and the connection that it's created and caused and it's allowed people to see me, like the real me, not the version that I pretend to be or felt like I needed to be.
00:23:38
Yeah, I think that, yeah, it kind of every time you tell that story, it kind of builds that, you know, fills that hole a little bit.
00:23:45
It heals you a little bit more.
00:23:47
And, you know, sometimes the best thing that you can do is kind of sit in that emotion and telling stories is a way to process it and kind of get it out.
00:23:56
And you feel a lot lighter after doing so.
00:24:00
And so, you know, I'm always someone who I do the same thing is like, I allow myself to feel the things I tell the story
00:24:07
usually in a podcast episode and then it but it helps so much and like you said when you get that interaction with the people who are listening that like that's impacting them as well or it's giving them permission to
00:24:24
you know, heal themselves or, you know, maybe they can connect with your story 'cause they have been through the same thing, but it also just not only heals you, but it heals the other people who are going through something similar as well.
00:24:38
So it's like those times where you do get that, those comments or the emails, it kind of just is like, okay, I'm doing the right thing.
00:24:48
It's kind of like worth me bearing my soul sometimes to do it.
00:24:53
It builds connection, right?
00:24:54
You know, like, you and I are in service, we're in service, we're in service based businesses, we do it to help other people.
00:25:01
And it does, it creates connection.
00:25:05
And I remember for so long, I just felt like no one would understand me.
00:25:13
No one would understand me and no one could help me and no one knew what I was going through.
00:25:19
And I was so wrong.
00:25:22
But I didn't have any, I didn't know that I was wrong until I, you know, heard other stories and saw from other, like saw other people talk about it.
00:25:34
And for me, yeah, that's fundamentally why I do share because it's, I want people to know that they're not alone.
00:25:45
And I think we, you know, we spend far too much of our lives feeling like we are and isolating ourselves.
00:25:52
Yeah, I agree.
00:25:53
Now, something you talked about, we've talked about a little bit, but 200 episodes is a lot of stories held or a lot of stories shared.
00:26:02
And that's talking also about of a lot of trauma as well.
00:26:07
So how do you take care of yourself when you're regularly swimming in other people's trauma, your own trauma, like the world's trauma?
00:26:16
How do you like take care of yourself in those moments when you are so deeply entrenched?
00:26:22
entrenched in a lot of trauma.
00:26:24
Yeah, that's a really good question.
00:26:26
So I kind of want to answer this in two parts.
00:26:30
I used to have like a rock solid self-care routine before I had kids.
00:26:35
You know, I know everyone used to laugh at me, not laugh at me, laugh with me about how like strict I was and thorough I was.
00:26:44
And then I had kids, but I think having those foundations for self-care
00:26:48
has really supported me through it.
00:26:50
So the consistency certainly isn't the same, but, you know, I do breath work, I meditate, I journal, I go outside, I exercise, I play with my kids.
00:27:00
You know, I do quite a lot of things for myself.
00:27:04
And that, you know, is my nervous system support.
00:27:09
That's my nervous system regulation.
00:27:11
In terms of holding the trauma, I think,
00:27:17
I was fortunate, if that's the right word, in that both through the police force and at the uni, I was dealing with, you know, live trauma and people who were really like in their trauma in that moment.
00:27:36
And I was able to hold that and I learned how to compartmentalize, not in a bad way, but it was like, okay, like this is,
00:27:44
This is my role.
00:27:45
This is your role.
00:27:46
This is how we do this.
00:27:48
But I also think with doing my own healing and having my own self-care, it allowed me to build greater capacity in that.
00:27:59
And it's funny because I do support people with trauma, but I also feel like it's different because we're focused on
00:28:14
moving forward and moving away from that.
00:28:17
Like when we're talking and sharing about different traumatic things, it's like there is a separation to it because it's not active trauma.
00:28:29
I don't know if active is the right word, but do you know what I mean?
00:28:32
Like it's not like that real heightened, I'm currently really traumatized.
00:28:37
It's, well, I'm healed, but this is what happened and this is
00:28:42
And so I almost feel a little bit separated from it.
00:28:48
I would say the biggest or the most heightened moments for me now, because I'm a breathwork facilitator as well, come in those moments, seeing and being in the room with people who are very noticeably releasing things, whether it's physical sensations or emotions or whatever.
00:29:13
I might sound a little bit ****** ** here, but it's actually so amazing to be able to hold that space and be a reason that they're able to access that.
00:29:31
And I'm sure if anyone ever recorded me, it would look a bit strange as we're like moving all of this energy and someone's crying and I've got this grin on my face.
00:29:40
And it's not a grin, but it's like, it's working.
00:29:43
Like they're connected to themselves and they're doing what they need to do.
00:29:49
And yeah, I just, because there's always a moment after we have those conversations where there's a realization or a shift or a change or something like that.
00:29:58
And I think that allows me just, you know, yeah, I can hold it because it's not, one, it's not about me.
00:30:10
but two, because I know that it's supportive.
00:30:13
Does that make sense?
00:30:16
I think that it's kind of comes back to as well as like you.
00:30:21
know how to obviously, you know, the live trauma, like the very present in the moment you've experienced that you've been also like on your own healing journey and, you know, your own trauma journey and, you know, showing up and especially like in the podcast and sharing these things is that people feel comfortable to come to you to work with you in that moment.
00:30:46
So it's, you know, then they're kind of, you know,
00:30:50
Yeah, they trust you enough to share that trauma with you, but it's not, you're not taking it on yourself, is that you're kind of sharing how they can move through it in that moment.
00:31:02
So I think it's kind of like, it's a mix of things and like, it's when you take a step back and look at it, it's pretty like cool that you can do that.
00:31:11
And, you know, those evolutions of your own story has led you to this point where you can like help people shift their trauma.
00:31:20
through breathwork or, you know, working with you, which is amazing to be able to like just use like your power for good, essentially, is what I'm trying to say.
00:31:31
It's really ******* cool.
00:31:34
It's really ******* cool.
00:31:35
And I have a huge capacity, like a huge capacity to hold.
00:31:42
And I've seen a lot, you know, I've seen things that would shock a lot of people.
00:31:50
And I've held a lot and I don't, I'm sure there would be something, but you know, it would take a lot to really shock me.
00:32:00
And I think also I'm really, I know myself and my capacity really well.
00:32:09
And if there's ever anything that is brought to me that I don't think I can hold, like I
00:32:17
I would share, or not that I could hold, I could hold the space.
00:32:21
But if there was something where I'm like, I don't have any answers or I don't, and it's not about me having answers, but it's like, I don't actually know what to do with that, then I would tell them that.
00:32:35
But again, coaching isn't about telling them what to do or knowing their answers for them.
00:32:42
It's about asking them questions.
00:32:44
And it's kind of insane that
00:32:48
the simple act of asking a question can have such incredible results.
00:32:55
And I guess that probably comes back to one of your other questions, like what's changed in me over five years?
00:33:00
I probably at the start wanted more so to make sure that I was, had answers or made sure they were getting the results or, was really part of that.
00:33:12
Whereas now,
00:33:14
Yes, I absolutely want my clients to see results, but I know that it's like I can't do that for them.
00:33:22
Yeah, such a powerful shift and change and thing to realize as well.
00:33:27
And yeah, I love that you shared that.
00:33:31
Now, shifting gears a little bit.
00:33:34
What are the biggest wins that little Jackie would absolutely lose her mind over?
00:33:41
You know, whether it's been, you know, in your business, in your life, what are the things that little Jackie would be looking back at thinking, holy crap, that's amazing.
00:33:55
Little Jackie probably, little Jackie never thought this was possible.
00:33:58
Little Jackie never thought she could run a business.
00:34:02
The people that I've interviewed
00:34:04
on my podcast.
00:34:05
Like some of them just blow my mind.
00:34:08
And, I've had a wishlist since I started and I've recently only, some are some really big names and recently just started, what is it?
00:34:24
Shooting my shot where I'm just like, I just randomly DM people on Instagram like, hey, I've got this podcast and most people don't reply and that's fine.
00:34:34
But I would say like having the opportunity and privilege to interview all of my guests and my clients is just wild because little Jackie never thought that one, it was possible to have the depth of conversations that I get to have and two, that I would get to facilitate those.
00:34:57
I've spoken on stages, I've spoken overseas.
00:35:04
There's just so much.
00:35:06
There's so much.
00:35:07
Even the, I think the connections and relationships I have in my personal life now, little Jackie never thought would have been possible.
00:35:17
You know, she didn't really know what it was like to feel safe in friendship groups or she didn't think it
00:35:33
It was safe to be herself because sometimes I'm really loud and sometimes I'm not, and sometimes I'm inappropriate.
00:35:44
And, you know, just finding people that see me and love me for who I am.
00:35:54
Yeah, that's probably the biggest thing that I never thought would have been possible.
00:35:58
Little Jackie would be very proud of you.
00:36:00
And I'm very proud of you because you're an amazing person.
00:36:03
And like I said, I'm very honored to be in the crowd watching your journey over the last five plus years.
00:36:14
So yeah, little Jackie would be very proud of you and you should be very proud of it.
00:36:19
Big Jackie, you should be very proud of yourself too.
00:36:22
I got a lot more emotional than I thought I would then.
00:36:25
Yeah.
00:36:26
I'm here for it though.
00:36:27
I'm here for it.
00:36:28
Yeah.
00:36:29
Here for all of the emotions, good.
00:36:31
And you know, like ultimately all we want is for like our inner child to be, you know, to know and to be proud of us for what we're doing.
00:36:41
And I know that, yeah, little Jackie would be.
00:36:44
So thank you for sharing that.
00:36:47
Now, last question for today's episode.
00:36:53
If you could go back in time 199 episodes ago and share a message with the version of yourself who is just about to hit record on this very first podcast episode, what would you tell her?
00:37:14
That was a really long pause.
00:37:15
I don't actually know if I'm honest, like I think
00:37:22
I, I would probably say like, have fun, you know, don't make it about the numbers or the validation or whatever, but then I don't think I've ever, you know, I think I'm the worst business owner in that sense.
00:37:37
Like don't ask me numbers, don't ask me stats and data because I don't know.
00:37:45
And I just, you know, I know, you know, when we first started business, I used to look at who, you know,
00:37:51
and overanalyze everything on social media, who looked at my stories and how many people like this and all of that.
00:37:57
And I just, I don't care about that anymore.
00:37:59
I post because it, you know, it's meaningful to me and I know that some things will learn and some things won't.
00:38:06
But I think that version of me, you know, as I shared, had just really taken some bold moves in her personal life and
00:38:20
for the first time, like really stood up for what she believed in.
00:38:26
And I think it just be like, enjoy the ride, you know, because everything that I've been through over that time needed to happen.
00:38:37
You know, I've never, I have never done this.
00:38:40
I don't even know what the wrong reasons would be because it's not, you know, putting anyone else out doing a podcast.
00:38:45
It's all about me, you know what I mean?
00:38:48
me doing the work.
00:38:51
But yeah, I think just enjoy the ride.
00:38:53
Enjoy the ride.
00:38:54
And I'm sure there's been moments in business and running this podcast where I haven't maybe been as present or there's been focus on different things and that's comes with it, right?
00:39:04
That comes with running a business.
00:39:08
There's ups and downs, but they're all, they're all needed.
00:39:14
Yeah, I think just have fun and enjoy the ride and
00:39:18
just be you.
00:39:20
And ultimately, it's going to be for an amazing story and you're going to be sitting here recording episode 200 with one of your favorite people, me, obviously.
00:39:30
You absolutely are one of my favorite people.
00:39:32
You absolutely are.
00:39:34
And I, my last week's episode, I said there is, and I just want to share this with you because I want to.
00:39:41
I did 40 lessons in 40 years and one of the lessons was
00:39:46
some of your closest friends you won't meet online for you, you won't meet in person for years, or you might rarely see them in person.
00:39:53
And you're one of those people for me.
00:39:55
You know, I think we've both been through a lot and, you know, ups and downs and all sorts of merry go rounds over the last five years.
00:40:03
And you've always been a constant in my life.
00:40:06
And I know that I got so emotional.
00:40:11
I know that if I ever need to like,
00:40:15
If I ever need to talk to anyone, you know, you're there.
00:40:19
And I just appreciate you so much.
00:40:21
And I'm so grateful for you.
00:40:24
And I am for you as well.
00:40:26
And also, it's not about me, but however, I think also, just coming back to the fact that
00:40:37
You know, if you hadn't done these things, if you hadn't showed up and decided to, you know, launch the podcast and share your stories and reach out to people and ask them to be, you know, on the podcast, you know, you wouldn't have these incredible connections in your life.
00:40:54
And I think that's a great, you know, lesson for everyone is that you will, you're not, you don't know what's going to happen in the future, but you know, use your voice, express yourself, show up for yourself.
00:41:07
Yeah, the people that come into your life that things that happen to you are going to be worth it.
00:41:12
And so I think that that's like a perfect analogy for today's episode.
00:41:18
And yeah, I guess is there anything else that you want to share with the listeners?
00:41:24
Before we wrap up for today.
00:41:28
Thank you.
00:41:30
I yeah, one thing that I've been saying
00:41:36
lately that feels really true and present right now is I just want everyone to know that anything is possible.
00:41:47
You know, anything is possible.
00:41:49
And so often we are the ones that convince ourselves that it's not.
00:41:56
And even in moments of, you know, heartbreak and grief, we're kind of amazing because we
00:42:05
do things that we don't even think is possible in that moment.
00:42:08
But just whatever you want, don't talk yourself out of it.
00:42:16
Full stop.
00:42:17
Just don't talk yourself out of it.
00:42:18
Like lean into it because yeah, so much is possible and the world needs you.
00:42:25
The world needs you.
00:42:26
We need more people being themselves and, you know, making the world a better place, especially right now.
00:42:35
Preach it, sister.
00:42:38
I think that that is the perfect way to end episode 200.
00:42:43
Jackie, thank you so much for trusting me with the mic, but thank you so much for 200 episodes of showing up and sharing your stories and making us feel comfortable to be able to do the same in our life.
00:42:57
So yeah, I'm celebrating you big time, my friend, and thank you for having me.
00:43:03
Thank you so much for being here and for saying yes to holding this for me.
00:43:07
I just couldn't think of anyone else that I'd rather do it.