Thriving After Trauma
Hosted by Trauma Transformation & Energy Coach, Jaci Rogash, Thriving After Trauma is a podcast about real life stories of transformation, navigating life and being able to show up in the world as your unapologetic self. We’ll talk about the ups, the downs, the ugly truths and the magical moments that we all experience, but often feel we can’t share, so we can bring to life the importance of having meaningful conversations and embracing our own journey in this crazy thing we call life.
Thriving After Trauma
The story behind how I became a coach
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
I’ve shared my personal journey, my trauma, my wobbly moments and everything in between.
But as I was sitting on the plane coming home from my Bali wedding - I want to say honeymoon, but let’s be real - a honeymoon to me does not involve children haha - when I realised, I’ve never really shared my journey to becoming a coach, or why I chose to.
It wasn’t an overnight decision.
It wasn’t an overnight success.
But it was a process that allowed me to work out what’s really important to me and find my passion.
Connect with me:
Transcript
00:00:00
Welcome to Thriving After Trauma, a podcast to help you move beyond surviving and support you to truly thrive in every area of your life.
00:00:09
Sometimes it's scary to claim your big desires because of your past.
00:00:12
This podcast will give you the courage to put yourself first and make your dreams a priority.
00:00:17
I'm Jackie, an award-winning trauma transformation coach, breathwork facilitator and international speaker.
00:00:24
I am so excited to bring you these deep, honest and real conversations as a way of supporting you to truly thrive after trauma.
00:00:32
Hi, It is so good to be back.
00:00:36
So good to be back.
00:00:37
And I say back even though I know I've been in your ears every week.
00:00:40
I have been away for two weeks in Bali.
00:00:43
and we've just come back.
00:00:44
So this is the first time in my office for like 2 1/2 weeks.
00:00:48
So it feels like a really long time that I haven't spoken to you, even though I know that there's been episodes.
00:00:56
This episode feels really fun.
00:01:00
It feels really fun and it feels really needed.
00:01:02
And I have shared, you know, my personal journey, my trauma, my wobbly moments, everything in between.
00:01:09
I've also shared tips and tricks about
00:01:13
moving through specific things and navigating certain challenges.
00:01:17
And while I was sitting on the plane on the way home from Bali, where we got married, so my wedding, I want to say honeymoon, but I'm not sure if honeymoons involve children.
00:01:26
I think I would like a more relaxing holiday than having a whole bunch of kids there.
00:01:32
And not that we didn't have an amazing time, but it's not honeymoon.
00:01:35
We're there for our wedding.
00:01:36
And we're on the plane on the way home.
00:01:38
Both my boys were asleep and I had a lot of time to think
00:01:41
And I was trying to work out, or it's more trying to think about what I could share or what would be supportive for you as all business owners do.
00:01:52
And I realized that I have never actually shared how I became a coach or more so why I chose to become a coach.
00:02:05
And there's been snippets here and there in my journey about, I was seeing a psychologist and then we decided that and that's, that changed my life.
00:02:14
But I feel like the details are important.
00:02:19
Because I know that, when we're at this crossroads of what are we going to do with our life, especially after experiencing trauma, it's like,
00:02:29
what do I decide?
00:02:30
What do I decide?
00:02:31
How do I even, like, how do I even do that?
00:02:33
What's the process?
00:02:34
All of that.
00:02:35
And so while each, you know, everybody's journey is different, I thought it would just be really helpful.
00:02:43
So let's dive in.
00:02:46
Coaching.
00:02:47
So I guess I would say I properly discovered coaching in 2016, but I had,
00:02:58
a couple of years prior to that, I had seen a girlfriend that I went to school with.
00:03:05
I'd seen something pop up on her page that she was now a coach and she was coaching and that kind of thing.
00:03:10
And I remember seeing the post and was like, oh, that's cool.
00:03:14
And it was one of those, I wanted to look into it and I didn't, things.
00:03:19
Anyway, so then fast forward from there and rewind from today.
00:03:25
Let me take you back to 2016.
00:03:29
The worst year of my life, rock bottom.
00:03:33
And I mean rock, rock bottom.
00:03:35
This was the year that I nearly ended my life and was the closest that I have been.
00:03:44
I was suspended from a job that I loved.
00:03:48
And if I'm honest, it was more than that, more than a job.
00:03:52
It was my identity.
00:03:54
That was when I was in the police force.
00:03:57
And I was just so completely lost.
00:04:04
There was all, I was kind of involved in this whole big situation that just felt so absurd and unfair.
00:04:17
And I just, there was nothing I could do about it.
00:04:20
And honestly, I like most days I was hanging in by a thread.
00:04:25
The
00:04:26
I would sleep in, I'd get up, I'd go to the gym.
00:04:30
Sometimes I'd go home and then go back to the gyms.
00:04:32
Another time I'd go to the gym, go and get some food, stay at the gym, go home, watch too much TV until too late, sleep in.
00:04:43
And that was kind of, you know, that was the cycle that I was in for quite a while.
00:04:47
And the gym kept me alive, you know, after I made the decision that I wasn't going to end my life, that I was going to try and
00:04:56
rebuild myself or recreate myself, the gym saved me because it was kind of the only thing that, it was the only outlet that I had at that time.
00:05:08
And I had seen psychologists before.
00:05:11
I'd seen so many and I'd never had a good experience.
00:05:16
I remember there was one where I'm like, oh, this, you know, this person could be good.
00:05:20
And I went into one session.
00:05:21
I'm like, right.
00:05:22
So now that we've kind of got the niceties out of the way, like,
00:05:26
there's **** I need to deal with.
00:05:28
And I remember him going, I'll just stop you right there.
00:05:32
I don't want you to go into detail because I'm retiring in a month or a couple of months.
00:05:37
So I don't want to get into something that I can't finish.
00:05:41
And I was like, well, there's a ******* brick wall if I've ever seen one.
00:05:45
Like I've just told you, like I, you know, it was probably the first time where I'd opened myself up to actually talking about or wanting to talk about what I'd been through.
00:05:55
and was just met with no stop.
00:05:59
And it was so jolting.
00:06:01
And they referred me to someone else, but it just didn't, didn't work.
00:06:07
Didn't work.
00:06:08
So I'd seen so many and I'd kind of just given up if I'm honest.
00:06:12
I was like, there's no one that can help me.
00:06:16
They're all **** was the story that I'd had.
00:06:19
And
00:06:21
During 2016, I had a forensic psychiatrist assessment who, it was actually the best conversation, one of the best conversations I've ever had.
00:06:31
I remember sitting down with him and just having such an honest conversation with someone who understood the police force and the political element to it and the intricacies of it, but wasn't in it, you know, like completely impartial.
00:06:47
It was just, it was really refreshing and
00:06:50
the report that he did for me, on me, I remember asking for it initially, like when I first did it.
00:06:58
And he said, no, he's like, based on where you're at right now, I'm not comfortable giving this to you.
00:07:06
I don't want you to read this because I just don't know what you'll do.
00:07:12
And because I did this at the depth of my depression, so I was suicidal and he knew that.
00:07:19
He did say, you're welcome to come in and I'll go through it with you, which I declined.
00:07:23
But I remember later on asking him and it was kind of full circle moment.
00:07:30
So during that meeting, the initial assessment, he recommended a psychologist to me.
00:07:38
He said, I think you'll find that she's great.
00:07:40
I think she'll challenge you and I think you'll get along.
00:07:44
And I kind of went, are you cool?
00:07:46
And I sort of brushed it to the side
00:07:48
And then a few months later, I went to her almost as a, let's just tick the box.
00:07:55
I'm going to walk in, it's going to be terrible and I'm going to leave.
00:07:59
And within 5 minutes of being in the room with her, I knew that she was my psychologist.
00:08:05
She's still my psychologist.
00:08:06
I don't see her regularly, but when I need to, I do.
00:08:09
And one of the things that really stood out to me with her was
00:08:16
I obviously gave her a brief overview of what was happening and she said, okay, before we go any further, we need to make sure you're okay right now.
00:08:24
Then we need to process and go through everything that's happened to you in the past so we can heal that.
00:08:31
And then we need to work out what you're going to do with yourself.
00:08:35
And this was the first time where I kind of felt myself relax.
00:08:42
I felt myself be like, oh, okay.
00:08:44
I'm like, I'm safe here.
00:08:47
And that's, a big call.
00:08:50
It's a big call.
00:08:51
And it's a big thing to be safe in someone's presence or to feel safe in someone's presence.
00:08:57
And she gave me that.
00:08:59
And
00:09:01
to close out the other story.
00:09:04
Months after working with my psych, I remember emailing the forensic psych and being like, hey, I've been working with my psych.
00:09:09
I'm really good right now.
00:09:10
Like I'm really in a really good place, blah, blah, blah.
00:09:12
I'm just wondering if, you know, you'd be happy to send me my report so I can see it.
00:09:17
And he did send it to me and the ******* insight that was in that report was mind blowing.
00:09:24
Like things that, it was just,
00:09:27
There was so many aha moments for me reading that report, my limiting beliefs and where they stemmed from and the way that I viewed myself and so many things.
00:09:39
I was like, oh my God, and also wasn't really sure how they got all of that from the conversations, but was so, grateful.
00:09:49
So changed my life, both of these people.
00:09:53
And so back to my psych.
00:09:57
I remember one session, it was very early on.
00:10:00
It was very early on.
00:10:01
And I was almost arguing with her because, we're talking about who I am.
00:10:07
And I'm like, I'm a cop.
00:10:08
She goes, no, you're not.
00:10:09
I'm like, yes, I am.
00:10:09
She's like, no, you're not.
00:10:10
That's your job.
00:10:11
I'm like, no, but I'm a cop.
00:10:13
And it was really hard for me to separate myself from my job because to me, it was my identity.
00:10:23
It wasn't just a job.
00:10:24
And
00:10:26
If you know anyone that's in the job, you will understand that.
00:10:29
If you're in the job, you will understand that.
00:10:31
And also, yeah, it can be really, it's really hard because it's this institution where you live and breathe it.
00:10:42
Like when you're at work and when you're out of work, you know, cops hang out with cops, cops, state cops, not all, but you know, mostly.
00:10:48
It's, yeah, it's really, really interesting now that I'm away from it to see just how
00:10:54
ingrained I was in it.
00:10:57
So we're having this argument about it being a job.
00:11:01
And it was, yeah, it was quite funny.
00:11:06
But we spent, so many sessions.
00:11:09
It started as weekly and they went to fortnightly.
00:11:12
Initially just getting me out of the deep depression, the suicidality.
00:11:18
And then I got to a point where I said, I think I'm
00:11:22
I think I'm ready to process the past.
00:11:24
And I think at that stage, I'd started doing some work for a construction company who were just so incredible.
00:11:31
They were so incredible and supportive of me.
00:11:34
And again, that was like another saving grace for me because it gave me some direction.
00:11:40
It gave me some purpose when I had nothing.
00:11:43
So I was working with them and then I'm like, right, let's deal with the past.
00:11:48
So we did that.
00:11:49
We spent a lot of time working on that.
00:11:52
And then we got to the point where I'm like, I think I'm good.
00:11:56
I think I'm good from, a sense of we're always healing, but this, everything that I'd suppressed that was really, that really had a hold on me, we were able to work through.
00:12:09
And so we got to a point where it was time to figure out what next.
00:12:12
And as I said, I was working at a construction company who were incredible, but the job that I was doing was not.
00:12:19
exciting for me, I would say.
00:12:21
I knew that what I was doing was not my forever.
00:12:26
And we were talking about, we started with what I loved about the police force because one of my things was I'm never going to find something that fulfills me as much.
00:12:39
I'm never going to find something that just ticks all the boxes.
00:12:44
And we then broke that down.
00:12:49
And it was like, what is it that, why did I love it so much?
00:12:55
And, it was exciting.
00:12:57
There was variety, every day was different.
00:13:01
There was human interaction with people from all walks of life, some positive, some not so positive.
00:13:07
There was adrenaline.
00:13:09
There was, you know, I got to use my brain.
00:13:12
There was, you know, the investigation side of things, which I loved.
00:13:17
The
00:13:19
as bad as it is, the excitement of catching a crook, like knowing that you'd figured out who'd done something, that kind of thing, the organizational skills, the training that we got, the different opportunities, like there was just everything that, everything that I needed and wanted at that time was given to me in being a police officer.
00:13:43
It was just, yeah, it was going to be the rest of my life.
00:13:49
And again, 2016 was the worst year of my life, but it was also the best because it gave me the opportunity to heal.
00:14:00
And so after we figured out all of my boxes, everything that I loved about it and why I was really struggled with, I really, really struggled with, what am I going to do?
00:14:12
Like, I'm never going to find something like that again.
00:14:15
So we had this conversation around
00:14:18
What if, and I remember her saying this to me, what if instead of one thing ticking all your boxes, multiple things tick all your boxes?
00:14:31
And I kind of laughed.
00:14:33
I was like, well, that seems ridiculous.
00:14:35
And also, is that even possible?
00:14:39
Again, it was, there was a really, real untangling for me to get to separate myself from that.
00:14:46
And I thought, and also I was a bit stubborn.
00:14:49
I'm like, I don't want to do multiple things.
00:14:51
Like I just want one thing to tick all the boxes.
00:14:55
But I realized that there probably wasn't going, I probably wasn't going to find that.
00:14:59
So I needed to figure out what it was.
00:15:01
Then we talked about psychology, ironically.
00:15:07
And I've always been interested in, you know, the way
00:15:13
humans are wired and our thought processes and, separating ourselves from our trauma.
00:15:20
And obviously I'd experienced a lot of trauma.
00:15:23
But going back to uni for six years, full-time, the financial side of things, like it just wasn't an option for me at the time.
00:15:34
So that was very quickly crossed out.
00:15:37
And my psych actually mentioned coaching.
00:15:41
She said,
00:15:43
This sounds so vain, but whatever.
00:15:46
Superficial, not vain, whatever, both.
00:15:48
She said, oh, my best friend's a coach, and she actually charges more than me per hour.
00:15:54
And in my head, I went, well, I know how much you charge, and I'd like to charge more than that.
00:16:00
Like, that's ******* good money, you know?
00:16:04
So it piqued my interest based on how much her friend was making, which is funny.
00:16:12
But I was like, okay, maybe I'll look into this.
00:16:15
And also I trusted her.
00:16:17
I trusted her.
00:16:18
So if she mentioned this or, proposed this, I was like, maybe.
00:16:22
In the meantime, I started Muay Thai, which, and I'd done boxing when I was younger,
00:16:27
and had been doing CrossFit for a number of years.
00:16:30
But, I think the Muay Thai really gave me that, the tick, the adrenaline bucket and the release bucket, because I just got to punch and kick ****.
00:16:43
So I started that.
00:16:44
I was trying to do some more spontaneous things despite being, you know, still a bit stuck.
00:16:51
And there was also a big part of me bypassing and avoiding what was actually going on.
00:16:56
But I kept thinking about coaching and I started researching different coaching courses and coaching academies.
00:17:02
And most of them felt really sterile.
00:17:05
I was kind of like, feels very corporate.
00:17:09
and I'd gone from corporate world to policing, which is quite different.
00:17:14
And I didn't really want to go back to corporate.
00:17:17
And then I went and found my, I went to my friend's Instagram and was like scrolling back through her archives to see if I could find this post about who she studied with.
00:17:29
And I did.
00:17:30
So I scrolled and I scrolled and I found it.
00:17:32
And she studied with the Beautiful Youth Coaching Academy.
00:17:34
And so I looked at the Beautiful Youth Coaching Academy and I thought, wow, these pages are very pink.
00:17:41
This is also coming from someone who had
00:17:45
no relationship with feminine energy, right?
00:17:48
At that stage of my life, I was 100% masculine.
00:17:51
There was not a soft side to me.
00:17:54
I didn't understand, you know, leaning into how I felt about something, you know, for 15 years, I had done everything I could to not feel anything.
00:18:04
So then seeing this very pink, very florally coaching academy, it's kind of like, I don't know.
00:18:12
I don't know about them.
00:18:16
And I kind of just kept bouncing back and forth between a lot of the online ones, which again still felt very sterile and Beautiful You.
00:18:28
Then I messaged my girlfriend from high school and was like, hey, I was wondering if I could have a chat about Biker, Beautiful You Coaching Academy.
00:18:38
She's like, sure, of course.
00:18:39
And we had a number of conversations about it.
00:18:42
And shout out to the incredible Tash Spencer.
00:18:44
We had a number of conversations about it and I knew her and again, I trusted her.
00:18:51
So, you know, after talking about what was involved in that kind of thing and having some very, you know, blunt conversations, I decided to study, study with Biker.
00:19:03
I became a certified coach through Biker.
00:19:06
And I am a very, very committed and active member of the biker community.
00:19:13
I, some of my best friends I have found through that community and I say it all the time, but what Julie Parker and her team have created is beyond, like beyond anything that I thought was possible.
00:19:27
You know, biker taught me that.
00:19:30
I'm getting emotional again.
00:19:33
it's possible for women to collaborate and celebrate each other and that doesn't have to be a competition.
00:19:41
It's, I just, I've never, or I had never ever been in an environment that was like that.
00:19:48
it was always competition and, pulling people down and that kind of stuff and just being in this community changed my life.
00:19:57
So
00:19:59
Even if I had just studied and never become a coach, although I'm not sure how active in the community I'd be if I wasn't a coach, it changed my life.
00:20:06
It changed my life.
00:20:09
And I will say investing and paying the money to do the coaching course made me nauseous.
00:20:17
Like I thought I was going to vomit.
00:20:20
I'd never invested in myself.
00:20:21
I'd bought clothes, I'd bought bags, I'd been shopping, I'd done all of that because it was just like a dopamine hit for me.
00:20:27
But
00:20:28
investing in something with a significant amount of money and not having anything, well, although back then I did get, we did get big, two big textbooks, not getting anything physical or like tangible in exchange.
00:20:44
I was like, oh, like it's scary.
00:20:47
It's really ******* scary.
00:20:49
And I was like, **** what have I done?
00:20:53
And one of the conversations that I'd had with Tash was like, what's the worst thing that can happen?
00:20:57
And to me at that period of time was, I lose some money.
00:21:03
I invest in this course and I don't become a coach, but I have a job.
00:21:06
I have a really good paying job.
00:21:07
I'm fine.
00:21:08
I'm okay.
00:21:09
You know, I'll make it back, that kind of thing.
00:21:10
So
00:21:12
Yes, but still nerve-wracking, right?
00:21:13
It's still nerve-wracking parting with money when you have no idea what is involved and what's going to come out of it.
00:21:19
And it's the same with every one of my clients now.
00:21:22
You know, if you've never worked with a coach, paying money to work with a coach is really scary because we've never done it.
00:21:30
We're not taught to invest in ourselves.
00:21:34
And I did that.
00:21:34
And shortly after, it wasn't actually, it wasn't long after I started studying with Biker, I thought what I found and got what I thought was my dream job.
00:21:46
So this was my job as an investigation and risk assessment specialist at Monash University.
00:21:51
And I was like, oh, this is the best.
00:21:54
I'm studying to be a coach.
00:21:56
I've got this job which ticks all of the like investigation, brain,
00:22:05
not brain development, what's the word?
00:22:07
Like using my brain, that kind of thing.
00:22:10
I'm just completely out of words.
00:22:14
So it's like I have a job that is investigations, which I love.
00:22:19
And it's actually supporting people, deeply supporting
00:22:25
people more than the police force did.
00:22:28
it was very victim centric, very victim focused as opposed to the police force, which is not so much.
00:22:34
And I was still doing Muay Thai.
00:22:36
I was still doing CrossFit.
00:22:37
And I was kind of like, you know what?
00:22:40
It is possible to tick all of my boxes through multiple avenues.
00:22:45
I'd also started journaling and meditating and breath work.
00:22:49
I'd started breath work by that stage as well.
00:22:51
So I kind of had all of these things in place
00:22:55
where I'm like, oh, this is what Danielle, my psych, meant by you can tick your boxes in multiple ways.
00:23:05
So I was so happy.
00:23:07
And I finished my coaching, my studying, and then started coaching.
00:23:13
And the story that I told myself was, do you know what?
00:23:16
I'm just going to coach part-time, 5, 10 years, who knows?
00:23:20
We'll see, we'll see how it grows.
00:23:23
But, this is what I want to do.
00:23:25
This job is what I want to do.
00:23:27
Coaching's on the side.
00:23:28
Like, I really enjoy it.
00:23:30
And we'll maybe in a couple of years, I think I said maybe in five years, I'll go part-time and then we'll see how we go.
00:23:37
So I had a really long plan.
00:23:40
I had a really, really long plan.
00:23:42
So I started in 2018, graduated at the end of 2018 and officially launched my website on
00:23:51
the first of May, 2019.
00:23:54
So, I'd been doing some coaching in between before launching my website.
00:24:02
But I launched my website on the 1st of May, 2019.
00:24:08
And as I said, I had a really, really long day.
00:24:12
Then I started, I was working with an, I got my own, my first business coach, I would say.
00:24:20
And we started working together and it was incredible.
00:24:24
I got a lot of one-on-one clients.
00:24:27
And then I did my first, I ran a first five-week group coaching program, Radical Transformation, way back when.
00:24:35
And I think the first time I had three people in it, one was a freebie.
00:24:40
The second time I had maybe five or seven.
00:24:45
The next time I had nine or 10, then COVID happened.
00:24:50
And everyone was in lockdown and I went through a launch and I had 17 people in it.
00:24:55
And I was like, wow.
00:24:57
I was still working full time.
00:24:59
I had 17 people in this five week program.
00:25:02
And I was like, this is awesome.
00:25:04
This is so incredible.
00:25:06
And I remember the other women that I was in coaching group with.
00:25:11
They were like, when are you going full time?
00:25:13
Like, when are you quitting your job?
00:25:15
I'm like, no, Like I was very cautious.
00:25:18
I'm like, no.
00:25:19
Not yet.
00:25:20
and at that stage I had a mortgage.
00:25:21
I had, bills and the idea of that leap.
00:25:26
I didn't feel like I had enough saved.
00:25:30
And then I launched on the back of that five week program with 17 people.
00:25:35
I'm like, there needs to be something more.
00:25:37
Like I need to have something else to offer them.
00:25:40
And so I launched your true, true self experience.
00:25:46
sorry, my first six month group coaching container, so true self experience.
00:25:51
And warranted, it was fairly low for six months.
00:25:56
It was low cost, but I had 17 people.
00:26:00
I think I made 40 or $45,000 on that launch.
00:26:04
And I was like, holy ****.
00:26:08
Like in my head, I was like, how can I, there is no way
00:26:13
that I can serve and support this many clients and also work part-time.
00:26:20
I mean, also work full-time, full-time.
00:26:23
And then I tossed up, do I work part-time?
00:26:27
Do I just quit?
00:26:29
And it was just, I just took a leap, I took a leap and I resigned.
00:26:34
And that's that, right?
00:26:36
That's that.
00:26:38
I did find out that I was pregnant like 2 months later.
00:26:40
So if I had have known that, I might have gone part-time or waited a little bit longer.
00:26:45
But that's really my journey.
00:26:47
And it wasn't an overnight decision.
00:26:52
It wasn't like I woke up one day and went, oh, I'm going to be a coach or saw someone on Instagram.
00:26:57
Like, I love them.
00:26:59
I remember someone actually speaking about
00:27:01
Tony Robbins to me years before an ex-boyfriend.
00:27:04
And I was like, you're a ******* ******.
00:27:06
Like, I'm not interested in that.
00:27:07
I'm not interested in you.
00:27:09
I'm not interested in this hype show.
00:27:10
Like, blah.
00:27:14
I had did go to one of his events in 2019 and it was amazing.
00:27:21
Again, I was a very different person then.
00:27:23
You know, I look at some of the things that he does now and I'm like, that is not trauma informed in any way.
00:27:30
But
00:27:32
we all evolve, we all go through seasons, we all go through periods where we're attracted to certain types of people and we're not.
00:27:40
But it just, oh my God, I'm sorry.
00:27:44
Just yawning in your ear over here.
00:27:48
For reference, it's 10 to 6 in the evening when I'm recording this.
00:27:52
I normally do them in the morning.
00:27:53
So yeah, I'm a little bit tired.
00:27:56
But yeah, that's my journey.
00:27:57
It wasn't something that I knew.
00:27:59
It wasn't something that I was convinced would be my end game.
00:28:05
It wasn't something I was even sure that I would be good at.
00:28:11
I've always supported people and I've always helped people and I've always cared about people.
00:28:16
But it was more of a, well, I've ticked, you know, I've ticked all of these other boxes and
00:28:25
this feels like it would be a really good fit.
00:28:28
It feels like something that I would enjoy.
00:28:32
And it was something that I'd never really heard of beforehand.
00:28:37
And through that, I found my purpose.
00:28:41
And I kind of laughed because I thought being a cop was my purpose.
00:28:44
That was my end game.
00:28:46
And now I look at that.
00:28:46
I'm like, oh my God, thank God.
00:28:48
Thank God it's not.
00:28:51
This one, I'm a much better person now.
00:28:54
But 2, this is the most rewarding and fulfilling work that I'd ever done.
00:28:58
And that was something that I kind of started realizing while I was still working full time.
00:29:04
I'd go to work and be dealing with quite heavy trauma every day, like very active trauma, fresh trauma.
00:29:12
And some days, the pressure of it all, I kind of got home and collapsed.
00:29:17
And then I'd have coaching calls and I would just feel so good.
00:29:22
still in the trauma space, but just completely different.
00:29:26
And I really started to notice a difference in how I felt when I was at work compared to when I was coaching.
00:29:34
And knowing how much I loved it and knowing how much, how good I was at it, was like, okay, this is it.
00:29:44
You know, I still have clients today that were in that round of 17 women.
00:29:49
of my five-week experience.
00:29:51
it's wild and so incredible and it's been a journey and I've pivoted as a coach a number of times.
00:30:00
So I kind of changed directions and I kind of weirdly feel another slight, not a pivot, maybe a slight adjustment coming as well.
00:30:11
But yeah, that's it.
00:30:14
That's my journey to becoming a coach from the depths of depression
00:30:18
to finding my purpose.
00:30:20
And that feels, it's wild actually.
00:30:24
It's wild to think that someone in the thick of depression could then completely turn their life around.
00:30:36
And I would say when I started studying, I was in a much better place.
00:30:39
Like I wasn't in the depths of depression by the time I started, you know, coaching because, and for timeline for
00:30:48
I was seeing my psych most of 2016, the second half of 2016, early 2017, and then spent months researching who to study with and then studied in 2018.
00:31:01
So we're talking about a two-year process here.
00:31:04
Again, not an overnight thing, not an overnight decision, not an overnight action.
00:31:09
It was something that has evolved and grown.
00:31:11
So
00:31:13
I share that.
00:31:13
I hope it is helpful.
00:31:15
If you have any questions from my journey, let me know.
00:31:18
But also just a little reminder that sometimes it takes time to figure out what you want to do, who you are, you know, what you want in life.
00:31:33
I feel like so often we just want answers now.
00:31:35
We want to know who we are, what our purpose is, what we're here for and
00:31:41
we're impatient and if something doesn't happen straight away, we just revert back to what we've always known or what we've always done, even though it doesn't fulfill us.
00:31:49
So from someone who took it very slowly, you know, a two-year process to figuring out that I was going to study, a two-year process, no, 2 1/2 years, I quit my job at the end of 2020.
00:32:04
So 2, three-year process to going full-time and then
00:32:10
Here we are along for the ride.
00:32:13
So as I said, I hope this is helpful.
00:32:16
I hope you've enjoyed it.
00:32:17
I hope it's given you some insight.
00:32:19
If nothing, please use those points around, you know, what boxes do you want ticked when you think about your purpose and when you think about your passion?
00:32:30
What's going to fill those boxes?
00:32:31
What do you love?
00:32:32
What do you not love?
00:32:33
You know, that kind of thing, because that's ultimately where we all start.
00:32:36
But
00:32:37
I can't wait to see you next week.
00:32:38
I have a really awesome episode planned for you next week as well, but I will speak to you really, really soon.